OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Death Note.

"Hu hu hu. What are you doing now, Light?" Ryuk asked, looming above the young man's shoulder.

Light smiled. "I'm writing the names of two cheap mangaka named Oba Tsugumi and Obata Takeshi. They've started a manga about Kira, and I'm taking them out just in case they luck into something and give the police or someone else ideas."

Ryuk's eyes went very round. "NO! You can't do that! Anyone but those two! Don't you realize that they--?!"

And then their universe blinked out of existence.

 

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Chainsaw Man.

"Oh my God!" Peter Parker looked at his hands. "That radioactive chainsaw... not only it's given me the proportional strenght and speed of a chainsaw, but I can cut through anything with my fingernails now! This is a signal... for me to cash in through pro wrestling! No, wait, I'd just cut everyone to death...!"

What? No, I haven't read the series. What gave it away?

---

Bubblegum Crisis.

Linna, Priss and Sylia lounged around lazily, blowing large pink bubbles.

"Girls, it's awful!" Nene cried, bursting into the room in her underwear. "We ran out of packages! And it's Sunday! The stores... won't be open for a full day!"

Next: GENOM Cancels the Strawberry Flavor! Can the Knight Sabers Survive?!

 

The Writer's Soul.

"Oh, so you are a writer, Miss Lucy?" Collet asked.

Lucy smiled. "Yep!" She handed her a booklet. "This is the draft manuscript of my next novel, why don't you give it a read and tell me what should I correct?"

Collet took it and began reading. After several minutes, she burst out laughing. "Oh! Oh, Miss Lucy, congratulations! It's an excellent comedy! I'd never read a funnier thing in my life!"

"... it's supposed to be a criminal drama and a psychological tragedy," Lucy said.

Collet stopped laughing. She looked at the pages again, and hewed uncomfortably. "W-Well, maybe you should excise the part where the singing butler kills the old lady with a live flamingo..."

 

Living Arrangements.

"What, you're going away?!" Hikaru gasped.

"Yes, my place is with Sensei and my classmates, so I'm going to move in with them," Chisame answered patiently, packing her luggage. "We'll keep in contact every day, of course."

"Same thing for us," Haruka said, moving towards the door with her suitcase in a hand and Yukino's hand in the other. "I'm Sensei's fiancee, after all. Something's got to protect him from that handful La Bastille goblin!"

"I think you mean awful, Haruka-chan," Yukino said, and then pulled a full body shudder as Juvia pressed herself against her from behind.

"Ahhhh! Wherever Yukino-sama goes, Gray-sama and Juvia will follow, naturally...!"

Gray spat the soda he'd been drinking. "What?! No! I like it here, why should I move in with a bunch of people I don't even know?!"

Juvia looked at him. "But it's a bunch of people you don't know, and Yukino-sama and Juvia...!"

Gray sweatdropped. "It's not that I have anything against Yukino, but..."

"You... You would rather stay here with Lucy...!" Juvia accused him tearfully.

"It's not that either...!"

Natsu walked into the room grinning, and threw a full suitcase on Gray's lap. "Here, Gray! I packed all the clothes you won't be wearing for you! Take all the time in the world for all I care!"

"ASSHOLE! You aren't telling me where to go...!"

---

"She could, though, huh?" Yuuki Rito asked blandly from his side of the bed he'd been forced to share with Gray.

"It's, it's not that I'm henpecked or anything, she's not even my girlfriend!" Gray sputtered. "I came only to be free of that idiotic pest, that's all!"

"Alright," Rito looked at him, and then frowned and threw a blanket on him. "But I'm warning you! If I didn't tolerate Lala sleeping naked on my bed, I'm not going to tolerate you doing it either!"

Gray ended up sleeping on the floor.

 

Chisame and the Sequential Art.

“Okay,” Yue began. “To make a long story short, Negi-sensei landed on Louise’s head as she was summoning her Familiar. That, it would seem, has made him her Familiar, and as such, she feels entitled to have control over his actions…”

“He’s dragged me all over the world and now I’m wanted by the law, if anything it’s him who controls my actions!” Louise argued.

Negi sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“I had landed close to Merdiana Academy, so when I was taken prisoner, I met Sensei again. He was suffering from partial amnesia, but we’ve been helping him to get over it. There we were attacked by one of the Averruncus units, but we were aided by Tsukuyomi, who had turned against Sextum-san. Regardless, we had to flee Merdiana…”

“We came along because really, who wouldn’t? It’s the adventure of a lifetime!” the little hyper white duck said excitedly, once again reminding Chisame of a feathered Makie. “And then we escaped to Traverse Town, and there we met Asuna, Skuld and Rito! Negi made a Pactio with Yue, and they fought a dragon, you should have seen it, it was so cool! But we couldn’t stay idle so we decided going through the desert, to see Jack Rakan…”

“The guy who was supposed to meet us at the Gateport?” Chisame asked. “I thought Sextum had gotten the drop on him and killed him before he could reach us.”

“No, actually, Sexy-han went prepared for him—as prepared as one can get for that guy anyway—but he never showed up,” Tsukuyomi said. “Turns out, he was bumming up in his oasis house because he couldn’t be bothered to go pick you up.”

A vein bulged on Chisame’s head. “I see…!”

“While there, Negi made a Pactio with Lena, so she could send her shadows anywhere in the world to look for you guys!” Webby continued while Lena looked aside and blushed. “It was awesome, it worked so well that she found Misa and Madoka in no time! That’s when, after finishing training with Rakan, we came here to pick them up, and Kotaro was in the arena already, earning a life as a prize fighter!”

“You went to Rakan first and then came to the tournament, huh,” Chisame idly scratched her chin. “That messes the canon sequence up, but whatever works… Anything else I should know?”

“We had this really strange little interlude where we thought we’d gone to a parallel world, but after a lot of deliberation we decided we’d better chalk it up to breathing mushroom spores in the woods,” Tsukuyomi said.

“…” Chisame said. “So, anything else…?”

“Ah, yeah, Rakan also tried training Negi in the use of Magia Erebea, so he could become an immortal undead creature of infinite dark power like Evangeline Mc Dowell,” Webby explained. “He almost managed it too, but he was about to lose himself in the pocket world he was sent into to achieve that powerup, and Louise wanted him to complete the test while Twilight wanted to pull him out ASAP… in the end, Asuna decided breaking him out, so he only can half-do the transformation for short periods of time. He was pretty mad at Asuna for a while, but afterwards they kissed and made out. I mean, made up.”

Chisame stiffened like a plank of wood, and then only her eyes moved, very eerily, to nail themselves on Negi, starting to almost glow threateningly.

“I had good reasons to attempt that,” Negi began, “as I feared that otherwise I couldn’t—“

“YOU WERE GOING TO TURN YOURSELF INTO SOME INHUMAN DEMON THING JUST SO YOU COULD FIGHT THAT LITTLE SKANK ON EVEN TERMS?!”

“I, I, it’s not so bad to be a demonic creature of darkness, I mean, Master Evangeline is a good—“

“EVANGELINE WOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH HER LIFE SUCKED FOR CENTURIES!”

“But, but, I didn’t want to risk your lives again! You saw how she wiped you all out, so easily…!”

“ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT JUST FOR THAT WE’RE GOING TO BE A LOAD FOREVER?! THAT WE COULDN’T GET ANY STRONGER TOO?!”

“I, I never said anything like that, don’t put words in my mouth…!”

“TYPICAL OF YOU! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GET BETTER BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE THE WEIGHt of the world on y—“ She took a hand to her throat and began making dry choked sounds. “Hhhhgh. Hhhghhh. Hghhhh.”

“Too much for her vocal chords, huh…” Natsu said.

“Thank God!” Kotaro sighed, pulling two big balls of cotton out of his ears. “You have no idea how awful is that when you have canine hearing!”

Collet took both hands to her ears and whimpered. “I wish I’d thought of that! Now I’m deaf!”

 

Tsukuyomi's Goodness.

"I'm not so bad," she told Chisame as they bathed. "If I were, I'd just call the authorities on you, instead of waiting for a money Negi-han never delivers. I'd be rightfully commended since in this world I haven't commited any proved crimes, and I would walk away a rich woman."

"You know that then you'd lose your best chance to find Setsuna ever again," Chisame said.

"No, it's not that. If anything, the news would make her angry and she'd come out of wherever she is hiding to attack me. But I gave my word I'd protect Negi-han. And I won't betray my promise to him."

Chisame frowned and said nothing.

"I know what you are thinking," Tsukuyomi said. "I betrayed Sextum-han. Why wouldn't I do the same thing to you?"

Chisame, Yue and Asuna tensed up, as if expecting her to start attacking them any moment now.

Tsukuyomi only relaxed back in the pool and sighed. "I want to see Negi-han bloom into a man, I guess, which would hardly be possible if he's executed. I'm curious. He'll become either the best of heroes or the best of villains, but one way or the other, that is the kind of man, not boy, I want to fight."

She smiled pleasantly, and after a few moments looked at them again. "And of course, I wouldn't ever hurt Skuld-han! I'm evil, not insane, do you think I want a divine thunderbolt running me through the chest...?"

"Congratulations, you're already thiiiiis close to being as moral as our average teammate," Yue said, holding a thumb and pointer finger just about to touch each other.

 

This Will Cost you Extra.

“Open wide, Gray-sama!” Juvia cooed, holding a spoonful towards Gray’s mouth during breakfast. “The whaleship of Love is here…!”

Knowing better than to resist in vain, Gray sighed and opened his mouth. “Ahhh…”

“Oh, here it goes! Zwoom…!” Juvia put the spoon lovingly in his mouth, and once he swallowed, she took another spoonful from the plate and aimed it at Yukino. “Now you, Yukino-sama! Juvia’s Whaleship needs landing…!”

“Bu-But it’s the same spoon , that’d be like an indirect--!” Yukino stammered, right before Louise discreetly stomped on her foot under the table. Yukino gasped and Juvia put the spoon in her mouth.

Yukino gagged, forced to swallow as Juvia giggled. “It’s like living a dream…!”

Tsukuyomi blinked at the display. She looked at her own spoon, packed it full with mashed potatoes, and then grabbed Negi forcefully. She opened his mouth wide and began stabbing the back of his throat with the spoon. “The jet fighter of Tsukuyomi’s love initiates heavy fire strike! Leave no survivors! In the name of all consuming passion…!”

Negi’s eyes popped up. “IT HURTTSSSS…!”

“Oh my God,” Chisame sweatdropped. “She’s actually starting to fall for him…”

---

Pointing the Way.

“Yours Truly, Illya and Nodoka,” Illyasviel read aloud the last lines of her letter. “Are you happy now?”

Nodoka nodded and smiled. “Thank you, Illya-chan. That’s much better!”

“You’re welcome. But I was thinking, how are they going to know it’s not a fake? We must include proof that the missive indeed comes from us.”

Nodoka blinked. “You’re right, they might think it’s someone setting a trap for them. D-Do they have photo cameras in this world? I don’t think I’ve seen one yet…”

“Never mind, we’ll do what is always done in these cases. We’ll put a fresh cut-off finger in the envelope!”

“Illya-chan! No!”

“Eh? Why not? It’s what you are supposed to do when sending proof in a letter, isn’t it?”

“No! Only kidnappers do that to prove they’ve got a hostage!”

“Are you sure?” Illya walked to a drawer and pulled a scarily huge knife out. “I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I could have sworn that was the obligatory procedure!”

“I’m, I’m serious!” the librarian said. “You don’t have to cut any of your fingers, Illya-chan!”

The albino began walking towards her. “Who ever said it was going to be one of mine?”

Nodoka threw a book on her face.

---

“—P.D.: And we include a picture of us as proof that this isn’t a forged letter,” Kotaro read aloud. “Illya-chan wanted to include a freshly cut finger, but I convinced her that wasn’t to be done…”

Chisame nodded. “Okay, yeah, the photo wasn’t necessary then. That line proves that’s Illya!”

---

Unequally Redo of Healer! Say It Ain't So!

Tsukuyomi had sneaked out for pudding and caramel apples. After enjoying herself a feast in a stand, she was returning home chewing on a candy apple in a stick.

Around a corner, a beautiful blonde lady whistled at her, arms folded and supported against a wall.

"Hey, Little Sister," the woman called out. "Where are you going?"

Tsukuyomi spun back on her heels and smiled cutely at her. "I'm going home to have dinner with my dear siblings! Why would you ask, noble knight?" she asked back, eyeing the large sword sheated by the lady's hip.

"I am Blade, Hero of the Sword," she said, reaching over and stroking Tsukuyomi's cheek. "I am going through the city on a mission for my King, and I couldn't help being awed by your charm amidst so much rabble..."

Ah, the infamous Hero from Jioral. That explained the masculine uniform. Tsukuyomi batted her eyes innocently. "Why, I'm flattered, ma'am! Maybe you'd honor me with a few minutes of conversation? You must have seen so much of the world, while I'm just a poor immigrant from the countryside...!"

Blade smirked to herself, sharply. She's mine now!

---

Bullet finally got fed up of waiting and simply slammed the door open. "Hey, Blade!" he called out, entering the hotel room. "We're moving out! We received clues on those two fugitives near the-- What the hell happened to you?!"

Blade, completely nude and full of scratches all over, was almost catatonic on the bed, twitching with a huge, drooling grin. "I.. I, I am in loveeeeeeeeee!" she proclaimed deliriously.

Bullet bent down and picked an object covered by pixels off the floor. "Fuck, this is just plain sick and wicked even for me...!"

---

"It was about damn time you came back!" Chisame said as Tsukuyomi returned, humming happily and with a beaming face. "What were you doing this time? Threatening our secrecy again, no doubt!"

"Oh, I doubt the person I was with will tell anything!" Tsukuyomi said. "I doubt she'll be even coherent for a few months at least...!"

---

Someday You'll Get it Right.

Chisame was passing by when she saw Louise sitting on a couch, humming sweetly to herself and knitting.

Chisame approached her. "Do you like that? I hadn't thought you'd be the type."

For once, Louise wasn't offended and just nodded, smiling. "Oh, yes! I love knitting. I've been doing it since I was a child. I couldn't knit for Negi while we were in the run, but I've decided making up for that lost time while we are here."

Negi walked in wearing some horrible amorphous monstrosity that scared Chisame.

"It fits me fine, Master!" he said from somewhere within the abomination. "Thank you very much, it's the most... unique sweater I've ever been given!"

Louise giggled in a slightly disturbing but honestly cheerful way. "At last, someone appreciates my craft...!"

"Hey! I've made good use of mine, too!" Skuld shouted from her workshop, where she was using hers to wipe the thick black stains of oil from her machines.

 

Be a Man, be a Dog.

Negi and Kotaro staggered into the house, still in their adult forms and badly bruised. Gray and Juvia were supporting them from each side, guiding them in.

Chisame and Yue ran to them, the former helping Negi onto a sofa and the latter starting to heal him. "We saw everything in the transmission!" Chisame said. "We were about to go out for you!"

"No..." Negi groaned as he popped back into his child self. "Too risky..."

"Why didn't you just change into your Magia Erebea form while fighting?" Rito asked. "You'd have ended the match quickly!"

"That's too risky as well..." Negi groaned. "I can't reveal my trump card on live TV... Sextum might be watching..."

Skuld and Louise approached Kotaro. "What about you?" Skuld asked. "You took even more punishment than Negi, shouldn't you lie down as well?"

Kotaro grinned. "Me? This is nothing! Feh! Training or not, Negi's still too soft, he--"

Louise frowned and poked him on the back with the tip of a finger.

Kotaro collapsed to the floor, doubling over in pain. "YIIIIIII!"

Louise scoffed. "Stupid dog."

Somewhere on Earth, Hiraga Saito sneezed.

Siesta blinked at him, across the dinner table. "Saito? Do you feel well?"

"Yeah," he said, rubbing his nose. "As a matter of fact, for some reason, I'm feeling much better with myself and about myself right now..."

"Awwww, you always say those things when you're with me! You're so sweet...!"

 

Child of Mine.

"I have found a solution for our problem," Chisame said from the next room, sounding a bit funny. "Now we can go out to watch the fights at the arena without having to wear stupid disguises."

"Uh-huhh?" Louise said from where she sat knitting, while Gray and Juvia struggled to pull a bizarre sweater thing off Gray. "What is it?"

Chisame stepped out, in an adorable loli form wearing a white dress and sporting false cat ears and a tail.

Everyone paused in what they were doing and stared.

Negi looked fascinated, mouth hanging slightly open.

Louise raised an eyebrow critically.

Webby's cheeks flared crimson, and huge pink hearts manifested in her eyes.

And Juvia began heating up, vapor puffing out of her before she ran over to pick Chisame up in her arms, cooing loudly. "AHHHHH! GRAY-SAMA, LET'S ADOPT HER, SHE'LL MAKE FOR THE BEST DAUGHTER EVER...!"

"I should have thought this better...!" Chisame cried, immediately starting to wiggle for freedom.

A miserable looking but also sickeningly cute Chibi Asuna walked out, followed by Chibi Yue, who was incredibly tiny and huge headed. "I don't remember childhood ever feeling so embarrasing," Asuna pouted. "How do Fuuka and Fumika cope with still being like this at fifteen?"

"Wow," Skuld said. "How many magical pills did YOU have to swallow to achieve that?"

"Let's just say that my stomach doesn't feel so well right now, either..."

 

Echoes from the Past.

“Oh, so this is your little sister? What a lovely child…!” the kind old lady in the market said, pinching a stoic Chibi Asuna’s cheeks. “That healthy hair, those…” Then she paused, staring at Asuna’s mismatched eyes, and she asked Negi, “Excuse me, but does anyone else in your family have this… heterochromia, I think they call it?”

Negi blinked. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”

The granny sighed, letting go of Asuna’s cheeks, much to Asuna’s comfort. “It’s nothing… A twist of fate, maybe, then… You’re foreigners so you wouldn’t know… But I’d advise you to put contacts on her. Around here, those eyes are a mark of calamity…”

As they left the market and headed back home, Asuna, riding on Negi’s shoulders, said “Okay. Now that wasn’t worrying at all.”

Negi wished he could have a good refutation for that.

 

One Way or Another.

“It’s over, Red Hood,” said the imposing black figure as it advanced along the catwalk.

“N-No!” the terrified masked thief said, trembling all over. “B-Back away! Back away now, or—“

With shaky hands, Red Hood pulled a gun out and aimed clumsily. “—I’ll shoot…!”

His finger pressed the trigger before he realized it. Two loud shots rang, and the black figure staggered back, with a startled gap. It lost footing, and fell like a rock, much to Red Hood’s horror.

There was a sickening splash below, and then only a chilling silence.

Red Hood began weeping like a scared child, and then ran out of Chemicals Axis, without ever daring to look back.

In the toxic waste, something stirred. Bubbles came to the surface. And then a massive form broke up, shaking and quaking. A deranged, deep booming laugh filled the icy night, coming from the chalk white square jaw under the black mask.

One way or another, the Joke finds its punchline.

 

Queen & Country.

"Maybe that old lady is just senile," Louise said after Asuna and Negi finished relaying the anecdote. "We have better things to worry about."

"Master, that is not a nice thing to say about others behind their backs," Negi chided her.

"Maybe you're right," Asuna said, "but I'm concerned all the same. Perhaps I grew suggestionable after that, but I could swear I saw people giving me weird looks on our way back."

"It might have something to do with the Queen of Calamity, if she used that word," Webby said.

Negi looked at her. "What do you mean?"

Twilight took over the explanation. "Arika Anarchia Entheofushia was the last queen of Ostia, and the daughter of King Alladia. The King disappeared mysteriously during the battles between Ala Rubra and Cosmo Entelecheia, and it was rumored that his daughter had him killed to seize the throne. Her people called her the Queen of Calamity, and even accused her of destroying the Old Ostia before she vanished as well."

Chisame frowned. "Well, we didn't do anything wrong and the whole world is accusing us of terrorism, so I wouldn't be shocked if she was innocent."

"Is there any way I could see what did she look like?" Asuna asked.

Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. "I'm sure there must be portraits of her in the library of Princess Celestia. I must have seen some of them during my studies, but frankly, I can't remember any right now... Lena?"

"Sorry, but... no," Lena said. "I knew about her, too, but nothing but what you already said. Aunt Magica isn't fond about talking about people like that."

"Erza should know," Juvia said. "She has fought with or against pretty much everyone who is famous in the world, after all."

"Shouldn't that have been before her time?" Lena asked her.

"Not necessarily," Gray said. "We spent seven years in suspended animation... it's a long story... before meeting you guys, so we are technically kinda older than we look. It's how Erza could know Zero's mother when she still was young and single."

"Don't call me that!" Louise warned him, slapping her whip in her hand.

Chisame sweatdropped. "Right when I thought Fairy Tail couldn't be any stranger..."

Yue looked at Asuna's thoughtful, concentrated expression. "You suspect you might be related to that woman, aren't you? It wouldn't make much sense, if you'd been born in Mundus Magicus you couldn't even live in Earth without undergoing a procedure like Cocone-chan's."

"Right, and besides, being the relative of a queen?" Louise asked. "What are the odds?"

Tsukuyomi shrugged. "Reality is stranger than fiction and all of that. Are we just going to discard that possibility after everything we have seen?"

And then she pointed at Negi. "If she is royalty my fee for protecting her will go up, okay?"

Crossed veins bulged on Asuna's head. "You are supposed to be his bodyguard, not mine!"

Yue and Louise had to be right anyway. She, a lost princess? The simple idea of that was ridiculous.

And yet...

 

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai: Tensai-tachi no Ren'ai Zunosen.

A visibly disturbed Shirogane Miyuki sat up on the bed and began putting his clothes on.

"I'm sorry to say this," he told the naked, extremely pale woman with long white hair looking quietly at him. "But this was a mistake."

Student Council Vicepresident Otsusuki Kaguya's look became a piercing glare.

She reached over and roughly pulled the shrieking Miyuki back into bed with her.

Elsewhere, Naruto and Sasuke had a really easy time defeating Shinomiya Kaguya.

 

Working Through It.

"It's good to have you back, Chisame," Asuna smiled. "You'll have a much easier time helping Negi to remember everyone else..."

"Who are these 'everyone else' you are talking about?"

Asuna frowned. "You know! Iinchou, Misora, Akira, Fukawa-senpai back at home, Evangeline..."

"I have no idea what are you talking about."

"..." Asuna glared at her. "You have a very weird and unconvincing way to act jealously petty while pretending you're not."

"I have even less of an idea now, sorry...!"

Working Through It, II.

A sharp sound pierced through the air.

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Chisame perked up excitedly, looking in all directions, and saw Juvia standing behind an uneasy Gray and staring at him with hearts in place of eyes.

JIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

Chisame sat at a corner, sulking.

"Ah, so you can miss at least one of the others after all," Asuna said. "That's good, maybe there's still hope for you..."

"I still have no idea what do you mean...!"

Working Through It, III.

"My memories? Oh, yes, Haruka's been helping me a lot with them lately," Negi said.

"How so?" Asuna said. No doubt she'd make him get all the names wrong.

"Well, for starters, she's been telling me about President Fujino. I'm sure that soon I'll remember by myself how negligent, incompetent, lazy, self absorbed, pompous, arrogant and malicious she is, and how much she needs to be replaced once we get back..."

"VP-SENPAIIIIIII!" Asuna called out angrily. "THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU...!"

 

Meanwhile, Back at Home...

Fukawa Touko couldn't write.

She sat miserably, looking at her notes from the Mahora Festival, and remembered.

She wished she could weep.

Enoshima walked in. "Oh, hello," she said. "I thought I'd bring you this to make you feel better!"

Touko's eyebrow twitched when Enoshima handed her a beautiful and large funerary wreath of flowers. "And this is for...?"

"Oh, just so you see that I care!" Junko smiled. "I spent a lot on this, so you know that I feel your pain and share your sympathies! Also, to further cheer you up, I'd like to remind you that you were very fortunate, not going on that overseas trip! Just because of that, your life was spared! Just imagine, dying in a freak accidental explosion with the boy you loved, how horrib--"

---

Mukuro was blandly polishing her favorite Desert Eagle when her sister returned home.

"Did it go as you expected, Oneesama?"

Junko gave a thumbs up, then supported herself on a wall and vomited even more flowers, just like she'd been doing through all the way back.

She managed to smile. "Boy, was she despairing!"

 

Meanwhile, Back at Home... Part II.

Touko drew a deep breath. Courage, courage... she told herself. How did it go? Audacia Paula... Our magic is not omnipotent... a little bit of courage is the real magic...

And so, she spoke. "I'm Fukawa Touko, I'm here for Negi-sensei..."

"I'm Kay Sanders, I'm here for Sensei too..."

"My name is Sawanaga Taisuke, I'm here for Kakizaki Misa-chan and Tsunetsuki Matoi-chan..."

"My name's Tohru! I only knew Ala Alba for a short while but they helped me meet the love of my life, so I came to pay my respects!"

"I'm Tomoe Mami, I really liked Negi-sensei a whole lot..."

"My name is Shirogane Tsumugi. I'm going through a really hard time after learning about Chisame-chan. I mean, Hasegawa-san."

"Chisame and Sora were my cousins. My name is Hasegawa Kodaka."

"What? Neither of them ever mentioned you!"

"How do you do, I'm Fuura Kafuka! I really, really, really like Itoshiki-sensei, and I'm looking forward to our happy reencounter when he returns from this extended pleasure vacation!"

Behind the wall, Junko listened through a radio circuit. Mukuro approached her. "Did I do a good job with the bugs, Oneesama?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Junko nodded absently while Arai-sensei began talking. "But something must be done about this Kafuka girl! Ugh, she's so unlikable! What's the point of listening to the despair of a supporting group if she's going to bring them hope...?"

"Please don't tell me that you are still thinking of doing that Mutual Kill Despair thing. You know that President Kiryuuin and the Sailor Senshi would find us and beat us up..."

"I still believe I could make it work! I mean, all of them are ripe specimens but that annoying Kafuka...!"

"Okay, I'm going for your medication, and please make sure to take it this time..."

 

Statuesque Stunners.

"Naba-san," Fujino Shizuru approached her. "I know you were very good friends with Yukihiro-san and Murakami-san, and as a student of Negi-sensei, we thought you would like to supply money for the statue..."

Chizuru blinked. "What statue?"

"Oh, you hadn't been told yet?" President Fujino asked. "Mahora, Honnouji and CLAMP have agreed to commission a memorial statue for Ala Al-- sorry, the English Research Club. We have contacted prestigious American sculptresses Alicia Masters and Gilda Dent for the task, and we have almost completed the whole budget for it..."

"They, they aren't dead, however!" Chizuru gasped.

"..." Fujino said, and then placed a motherly hand on Chizuru's shoulder. "Naba-san, it has been over a month already..."

The unthinkable happened, and Shizuru saw something that she never thought she would see.

Naba Chizuru began weeping and wailing.

Fujino actually started to feel bad. Did she actually care so much...?

Without a word more, Shizuru hugged the younger girl and held her as she cried.

---

"Okay," Kuga Natsuki said, looking up at the huge statue. "It's a nicely done statue, but... isn't Haruka-san a bit... ugly in it?"

"Ara ara, do you think so?" Shizuru asked. "That's strange, they followed my specifications to the letter."

"Yes, well, I'm sure the Vice President never had huge demonic fangs."

"It's just an artistic license to best express her strong nature, Natsuki."

"And why is Yukihiro at the top of everyone else?"

"Naba-san paid a larger sum than anyone else, that is why."

"And seriously, Negi-sensei being in his underwear is just disturbing! Couldn't they have put at least some pants on him?"

"I told them that, but the girls outvoted me...!"

 

The Denied Development Club.

At the unveiling of the statue, Koizumi Mahiru ran into Asakura Kazumi.

"Asakura-san?" Mahiru blinked, confused. "I thought you were in Wales with the rest of them!"

"Ah, no, I never was a part of the Society," the redhead explained, with a tiny white haired doll sitting on her shoulder, for some reason. "So I wasn't invited along..."

"I thought you were, though," Saionji Hiyoko told Nagase Kaede, who was standing nearby with a bawling Fuuka and Fumika. "I saw you dining with them in the closing ceremony for the festival!"

"Ah, this one was a close ally of Ala Alba, and we certainly fought together during the Festival, but this one was never an official member either," the tall kunoichi said. "They were expecting for a peaceful trip, so this one saw no need on inviting herself as a fighter de gozaru."

"Same thing here," a depressed Ku Fei said. "That was bad mistake! If we had been there, nothing would have happened to Negi-bouzou and others...!"

"I see. This must be hard on you, but please keep in mind that it couldn't be helped," Mahiru said. "There's no way the author could have handled that many characters in the Mundus Magicus arc, and something had to give. Besides, maybe you'd been wiped off too. The best you can do is to keep on living to honor them."

She looked at a distraught, rattled Ako, who stood between Akira and the bored Evangeline. "The same goes for you," she told the pale nurse. "Life goes on, and--"

"I promise I'll get the souffle right this time, Mistress...!" Ako said suddenly, her eyes fixed ahead.

"...?" Mahiru and Hiyoko said.

"She is working as my maid during Chachamaru's absence," Evangeline scoffed.

"I see..." Mahiru said, and then patted Ako's head. "See? Don't be so sad for them. There are fates worse than death!"

 

The city was truly gigantic, much bigger than any of the Mundus Magicus towns Nodoka had been at, and probbaly as big or even larger than Neo Tokyo. Nodoka was truly impressed, and even though Illya wanted to hide it, it was clear that she, raised in a woodland castle for over a decade, felt the same way.

"It's all so beautiful..." Nodoka said, her eyes sparkling under the thick bangs of hair as she looked into all directions. "This makes our Festival look downright paltry...!"

"It's all so noisy," Illyasviel gave a delicate snort, flanked by their bodyguards. Indeed, the festive air was filled with chatting and laughs in dozens of different languages. Everywhere, crowds huddled together and bustled busily through streets and boulevards that were too narrow to fit them all properly, leaving little room to circulate. "The sooner we leave this rat trap, the better! Oh, if only Berserker were here!"

"Master Nodoka's distracted again," said one of the mercenaries whom they had hired to escort them into Ostia, a short figure wrapped fully in a dark cloak, who barely was taller than Illya herself.

"What, again?!" Illya yelped, looking towards where Nodoka was standing by a stand selling old books, almost drooling while a bearded, tanned gentleman selling the merchandise exposited to her. The albino made her way over to her and yanked her back by an ear. "Listen, once we've found my brother, then I'll buy you all the stupid books you want, okay?! In the meanwhile, stick to the plan, Nodoka!"

"Uwaaa! I'm sorry!" Nodoka flinched, following Illya again while Kero sighed from within her backpack. "I couldn't help it! Once a librarian..."

"My God!" Illya stopped suddenly, staring up at two gigantic humanoids standing guard over the city. They were long and lanky, disturbingly similar to the robots Chao had deployed during Mahorafest. They were painted solid white except for the mouths in their elongated and eyeless faces, which were painted scarlet instead. They towered even over buildings several stories high, bearing just as long spears in their hands. "What, what are those things?!"

"Hmmm?" another of the mercenaries, a caped tall woman in a skimpy black leather bikini and tall boots and gloves, looked up lazily, still chewing on her large meat-filled bread. Her physique was extremely voluptuous and busty, and she had long raven black hair combining nicely with her blue eyes. A huge sheathed sword hung from one of her wide hips. "Ohh, ho ho ho ho! Young Master, you are so unexperienced! Those are divine soldiers! Everyone knows about them!"

"Where we come from, white skin and red lips are a combination to be avoided," Nodoka gulped lightly.

"That's nothing, just look at that!" another hired hand, a tiny girl with blonde hair in Ojou ringlets and wearing white and pink armor, said while pointing upwards in another direction. She wielded a gigantic axe easily bigger than herself, slung over a shoulder with no effort. "It's the guardian beast of the Targaryen Empire, the Blue-Eyes Wide Dragon!"

"I saw that thing in a videogame!" Illya shouted, staring in bewilderment at the titanic winged beast covered on white scales, much larger than Tohru's dragon form, hovering above the Southern districts. "If those monsters start fighting each other, all of us will die!"

"Nobody will attack unless their commanders give the order, and nobody wants that in these times of peace," the final member of the merc team said, her small child riding her wide shoulders. This woman was even bigger than Naga in every sense. Even much bigger breasts and hips in a muscular, rotund frame that still managed to be attractive, contrasting with her delicate and mature face framed by glasses. Her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail with a pink bow, and from her back hung a sword as big as Ymir's axe. "The countries only want to boast their forces, to make sure nobody will think of attacking them again."

"And there it is. The Colisseum," said the short figure in the hood, pointing ahead with a gloved hand. Other than Cattleya-san's son Rana, this was the only male in the group, as evidenced by his raspy voice. "See, Master Illya? Just like I promised..."

Illya humphed, fists on her hips. "Let's just hope those tickets you got us are good, Jillas! Or else!"

"Ma'am!" he gasped. "I bought them from the best shady black market salesman in the underground market!"

"No part about that sentence has inspired me any trust!" his contractor said, and then frowned at Miyazaki. "Nodoka? You can contact your boy from this distance, can't you?"

"Y-Yes, I think so," Nodoka gulped, gesturing at them to pull back with her, under the relative safety of an old abandoned house by a corner. The doors were locked with chains, but they still could stay apart from the crowd under the shade of the gates. She took her Pactio card out and put it against her forehead. "K-Kotaro-kun? It's me! Illya-chan and me made it safe into the capital...!"

---

"This... This ain't ogre yet!" roared the hulking, rotund green behemoth, pulling himself back to his feet and charging again. "It ain't ogre 'til I say it's ogre!"

Negi, in his adult form, charged back, hit the ogre with his shoulder, and followed this move with a rapid fire sequence of elbows to his large and bloated stomach, every one booming across the arena like a bombshell. Finally, Negi punted his adversary in the chest and sent him flying into a wall, making the whole stadium tremble.

The crowd watching the fight cheered wildly, and all the while Kotaro, covered in scratches and bleeding marks, grinned as he faced a much smaller opponent. This furry creature had proved himself shockingly fast and strong for his size, moving like a cheetah around him and Negi and slashing at them with his fencing sword while his partner pummeled the boys with his massive fists.

"Looks like your pal is down for the count, Kitty!" the dog boy said. "Why don't you give up now?"

"You're funny, boy. Really," the accented feline in fine boots said, and then jumped on him again, swinging his blade. But Kotaro was wise to his tricks by now, and after ducking, he rose with a dragon punch straight into the cat's belly, sending him down. The cat coughed a few hairballs out, taking a hand to his stomach. "Oooo! Good one, chico..."

Kotaro advanced towards him. "And now what? Ready to throw the towel?"

The cat used his trump card. He took his hat off, held it in his paws, and then looked up at Kotaro with a deep, pleading look in his adorable eyes.

Kotaro froze at the sight of those large, sad orbs. "N-Nani...?!"

The cat kept looking up at him, and even the audience and the announcer appeared enthralled by his suplicating puppy eyes. "This, this power... it's so strong!" Kotaro shuddered, unable to take his eyes off him. "How, how can that be possible...?!"

"AAAAWWWWWW!" the audience cried, moved and leaning forward, and Kotaro's knees trembled, about to give up...

Then Negi stepped up and stomped on the cat a few times, slamming him down.

"ANIMAL ABUSEEEEEE!" the cat meowed in pain.

Kotaro blinked back to his senses. "N-Negi! How did you...?!"

"I just remembered, that's right the look Makie-san used to give me when she wanted to pass a test she'd failed," his partner explained. "When you are a teacher, you grow numb to those things eventually..."

The half-naked fairy announcer also blinked back to awareness. "Ah! Just look at this!" she shouted through her mike. "Contestants Kojiro and Nagi have just defeated Shrek and Puss and make it to the next round of the tournament...!"

The crowd began clapping and cheering loudly while a donkey rushed to the slowly recovering ogre, vomiting a rapid stream of nonsensical questions brayed in a grating, annoying voice. The ogre just grunted and slapped him aside.

Nagi and Kojiro returned to their lockers smiling at each other and bopping fists together. There, Loli Chisame ran up to them, accompanied by Loli Yue. Yukino, in her usual form since she wasn't wanted by the law, followed them carrying Loli Haruka in her arms, and looking fairly pleased about that.

"Hey, Kojiro," Chisame said, holding up the card he'd left with them. "This was buzzing all through your fight, so I guess that Miyazaki finally made it here..."

"She did?!" Kotaro said excitedly, taking the card and putting it on his forehead. "Neechan! It's me! Sorry I couldn't answer, I was busy kicking some ass!"

"Don't worry, Kojiro-kun," Nodoka said gently as ever. "I supposed that'd be the case... Then I went into the colisseum and confirmed my suspicions..."

"You mean you're here right now?!"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"H-Hold a sec, please! I'll transport you here right now!"

"That won't be necessary, Kojiro-kun..." Nodoka said, from where she stood a few steps behind him, with Loli Yue looking adoringly at her, and Yukino and Loli Haruka sweatdropping. "You'll see, when I said 'Here' I meant 'Exactly right here'..."

Kotaro spun back and gasped. "Ah! You were here!"

"Yes, always," Nodoka nodded. "I guess you couldn't smell me since this whole place smells of sweat and- and-" She trailed off, as her eyes met Loli Yue's.

The world seemed to slow down and sweet romantic music began drifting through the room. Only Negi seemed to notice this music, and he looked in all directions for its source, blinking in confusion.

Nodoka and Yue threw themselves into each other's arms.

"Nodoka...!" Yue sobbed loudly.

"Yue-Yue...!" Nodoka cried.

"... is it me, or this is more romantic than her reencounter with him?" Haruka mused quietly.

Yukino smiled. "There's nothing wrong with that..."

"Of course you would say that..." Chisame closed her eyes and shook her head.

Nodoka picked Yue up and began spinning with her, joyously. "You're sooooo cute like this...! Ah! Just wait until Paru sees you...!"

"Okay, now I'm worried for Ayase," Chisame admitted. "I hadn't thought about it, but Saotome will eat her alive."

"And Chisame is cute too, naturally!" Nodoka stopped to put a hand on her head. "And... Sensei..." she said, looking at her first love, who smiled at her somewhat awkwardly.

After a few moments and a brief rasping from Kotaro, Nodoka realized that she was blushing and turned towards Yukino. "Kikukawa-senpai! S-So good to see you again, too! Suzushiro-senpai never stopped having faith she'd find you..."

"Not so loud, these walls have ears," Chibi Haruka said. "Here, I'm Haruka Ermitage."

"Armitage, Haruka-chan," Yukino corrected her with a pleased smile.

"I'm alive too, thanks for asking!" Kerberos said, popping his head out of Nodoka's backpack.

Negi stared at him. "... I'm sorry. I don't think I have been told anything about you, Sir?"

"Eh?!" Nodoka gasped. "Eh, Sensei, you don't recognize Kero-san?!"

"It's a long story," Chisame said with a sigh. "Why don't you just take us with Illya already, so we can explain it off panel and save time?"

 

They sat on the rooftop of Negi's rented house now, with a secrecy spell cast around them so the people transiting through the streets wouldn't overhear their conversation.

Chisame eyed Illya and Nodoka's hired hands suspiciously. "I'm going to be frank," she said. "How do we know we can we trust these people?"

The big chested woman with the black cape sneered, pointing at Juvia and Gray. "How do we know we can trust these people? I mean! They are members of Fairy Tail!"

"She asked first though..." Juvia said irritably.

"Canis Niger have previous experience protecting wanted criminals, as long as the pay is good they'll do anything," Illya said. "And I have paid them more than well enough," she added, pulling a wad of bills out. Naga leaned towards her, and Illya smacked her in the face with the bills a few times, without deigning looking back at her. Then she handed the bills to Naga, who began counting them greedily.

"And how do we know they just won't go for the payment the government is offering for Ala Alba?" countered Gray. "Fairy Tail has honor and sticks to the given word, but-!"

"So do we," said the woman named Cattleya, whom Louise was looking at with a mixture of emotions since she had both the same name as her dear late sister and the biggest chest she'd ever seen. "And besides, Jillas himself is wanted by the law. We prefer not involving ourselves too much with the authorities."

"Oh, so that's why he's disguised like that?" Rito asked, sporting several bandages on his face since he'd accidentlly groped Ymir, Cattleya and Naga seven times already. Kotaro had resorted to just sitting on his back while Rito lied on his stomach on the rooftop. "I think we'd feel safer if we could see his face, then..."

Jillas sighed and pulled his hood back, revealing the furry face of a red fox with a black eyepatch on his missing left eye. "What a bother... But if this will ease the paranoia down..."

"Okay, this is somewhat of a letdown," Tsukuyomi said. "I was expecting for a lizardman, at least. Lizardmen are evil!"

"Well, I'm not! I'm a victim of circumstances and prejudice!"

"Like I said! Disappointing!"

"We already had one mutt here, another one feels redundant," Louise mumbled.

"There is still another member of our team, by the way," Ymir, the small girl with the large axe, said. "The boss, Paio. Paio is securing our living quarters for our stay at Ostia, since we never suspected you'd have such a big house here."

"Aaaaand there is," Tsukuyomi said. "He's the one sneaking away to sell us out, right?"

"No! Absolutely not! The boss has a ton of flaws, but that's not one of them!" Ymir protested.

"I heard about Canis Niger while working with Phantom Lord, but I thought your members included a bald man, a large reptile man, and a living skeleton?" Juvia asked.

"Yes, well, they died," Naga shrugged. "This is a dangerous line of work after all!"

"Damn, that's callous from the author," Chisame commented. "They didn't even get a chance to appear..."

"We are back to having too many characters anyway, at this point I suspect another purge is coming," Asuna dreaded.

"Seriously, even I sometimes forget I'm still here," said Lena.

While Negi rasped loudly to stop them from further hurting the Fourth Wall, Ymir tensed up and reached into her dress, pulling a Pactio card out. "Yes, Boss?" she asked, placing it on her forehead. "Oh..." she said after a moment. "Oh!" she gasped, making a face. "I see, that is... bad."

Negi and the others sprang into alarm. "What's happening?" he asked.

Ymir looked at Nodoka. "That person you warned us about, Paio's seen her asking questions around the hotels." She then looked at Gray and Juvia. "Where are your friends staying now?"

"The Fawlty," Gray answered.

Ymir sighed. "That's even worse. Surely that person is on her way here right now, then."

"Who?!" Chisame demanded, even though she had already figured it out.

"Who else?" Negi's face tightened as he looked across the street.

There she stood, on a sidewalk, under a lamppost, and staring back at him in quiet thoughtfulness. Her hands in the pockets of her dark blue pants, and as icily beautiful as ever.

Sextum Averruncus.

 

"We still can get out through the back door!" Chisame yelled, rushing down the stairs after Negi.

"No, we can't," he said, not looking back.

"We should at least lure her inside!" Juvia said, following them down along the others, except for Skuld, who had quietly sneaked back into her workshop and locked herself there. "Surely, here we have some ground advantage!"

"It wouldn't make any difference, and it's clear she isn't coming here. She wants me to go to her," Negi said grimly, reaching the ground level.

"And you're playing right into her hand!" Rito argued, gripping the Keyblade tightly. "Can't you realize that?!"

"We can take her on," Gray said, already shirtless. "Plus, if she's been around the hotel, Natsu and Erza must be on their way..."

Chisame had moved in between Negi and the front door. "You aren't going to face her again, you hear me?!"

"It's inevitable," he said, picking her child form up and setting her aside. "She's found us and there's no use on running away."

Naga sneered. "Why are you so terrified? Let me face her! I'm the powerful White Serpent, why should I be afraid of some child with a skin problem?"

"No, no, you stand back!" Ymir said. "I'm the boss' lieutenant and you'll listen to me! Do you even know what is that? That is an Averruncus!"

"So?" Naga asked, raising an eyebrow in a dismissive way while Negi pulled the front door open.

Sextum stood on the doorstep, staring directly into his eyes and sending shivers up his spine.

"Announcing yourself in public was a mistake," Sextum said.

Negi growled. Being an adult at the time, he was much taller than her now, but she still had a clear dominant presence over his regardless. "What do you want?"

"What do you want?" she asked back. "Fighting me again? I studied the footage of your recent battles. You have improved, that is undeniable. But not enough."

"You bitch..." Asuna hissed, shaking angrily. "You don't know half of it yet..."

"Oh. You are here," Sextum looked in at her. "That is good. I come to negotiate, Negi Springfield."

"See? I knew it!" came Naga's obnoxious voice from the living room. "She's scared once she got a glimpse of my-"

"Shut the fuck up, Naga!" Ymir growled at her.

"The last time you faced me with a full team, I defeated all of you. This time would be no different," Sextum told Negi, back to ignoring everyone else. "Those Fairy Tail members at the Fawlty went after me, I could tell, but my allies are deployed across these city blocks, and they will engage them and those present here should they try to interfere."

"What are you planning?" Negi asked her.

"We have an offer for you," Sextum said. "The only reason why we attacked you at the Gateport was because you had something that belonged to us. Since your arrival to this world, you have secured another item we are interested on. If you were to cooperate and hand both of them over to us, we would gladly return you to Earth, safely. We even would help you find and collect the rest of your comrades so you are fee to go with them."

"Oh?" Tsukuyomi said. "That's very generous, Sexy-han. Do you mean that you'd be willing to let me go, too?"

"I hold no personal feelings of enmity against you for what you did," Sextum said plainly. "That would be pointless. And besides, the arm healed quickly."

"You're full of it," Asuna said. "How could you even take us back?"

"We have our own means of transportation between worlds," Sextum said. "Negi Springfield, you stand no chance of defeating us, and even if you did, you'd reveal yourself to the world." She gestured behind herself, at the people in the street. "Another battle between us would cause a large amount of collateral damage. Too much for the government of New Ostia to ignore."

"These two things you want," Negi growled. "What are they?"

Sextum pointed at Rito. "We want the Master Keyblade."

Rito blinked. "Ah? This old thing?! Sure thing, why not! I mean, it's not even mine, it belongs to this King Mickey Gadget-san talked about, but I don't even really want it, so-!"

"Perfect," Sextum interrupted. "And we have a need of her, as well," she added, pointing at another of the people huddled behind Negi.

"M-Me?!" Yukino blinked. "Oh, oh dear! So Zagato sent you after all?!"

"No, not you. Her," Sextum corrected her, making a point of pointing harder so it was clear that she was actually pointing at Asuna.

Asuna blinked a few times. "Well... Crap!"

 

"Please don't hate me over this," Sextum said, picking a first pastry from her plate.

"Um, no, we bought those to be consumed, after all," Juvia said a bit absently.

"She doesn't mean that…!" Gray hissed.

Only Sextum, Negi, Louise and Naga sat at the large table, the last three facing the first. Skuld was still barricaded within her taller, and everyone else stood in a wide circle around the table, every weapon at the ready. Only Naga appeared to be fully relaxed, stuffing her mouth indolently while looking at the Averruncus with an air of fair amusement.

"Asuna isn't an object to be traded," Negi began. "That isn't open to discussion!"

"You don't even know what we want her for," Sextum said. "I told you that she was an object that belonged to us from the beginning."

"She is not an object!" Negi growled, slamming a hand on the table. Naga snorted at him as some snacks spilled from her plate.

"I am a mere tool of my creator's will, as well. In the end, are we not but simple objects created by beings far above us?" Sextum philosophized. "And should they see it fit, are they not entitled to make with us as they please?"

"Oh, come on…!" Louise said.

Sextum looked blandly at Lena. "Are you not like me in that regard? Or have you rebelled against Magica DeSpell's rightful claim on your existence?"

Lena gaped. "How did you know…?"

Sextum looked next at Illya. "Einzbern. You, better than anyone, should know better of the fine border between the human and the doll, the puppet that only exists to do its master's will. Your mother fulfilled her fate gladly. Why won't you do the same and honor her legacy?"

Illya seethed. "Don't you dare talking about my mother…!"

"You're talking nonsense," Asuna gasped dry, refusing to acknowledge the tiny gnawing feeling at the back of her mind. "Why should I be like you at all…?"

"We are sisters, Princess Asuna," Sextum said with a somber air of subdued finality. "You must submit to what our creator intended for us. For everyone's—"

"YOUR SISTER?! YOU MEAN THAT YOU'RE MY SISTER?!" Asuna bolted up, eyes widening like saucers.

Rana looked back and forth at them from his mother's shoulders. "You don't look alike at all…"

"Out of all the transparent ways to manipulate someone…!" Naga mused aloud.

"I won't be lectured on anything, much less on family relations, by Lina Inverse's sidekick," Sextum said.

Naga's face flared red. "How do you dare…!"

Sextum aimed a level glare at her. "Do I need to bring up the topic of how you have approached your relationship with your sister? Or rather, how have you not?"

Surprisingly, this seemed to blow the wind out of Naga's sails for a moment. She pulled back onto her chair, slightly pale, and then said in a low, grudging voice, "You think you know so much…"

"You must be joking!" Asuna said. "First you say that we are sisters, but then you say that you are just a creation of someone else! I'm the daughter of your creator? That's what you mean?!"

Sextum drew a short breath in. "Princess Asuna Vesperina Theotanasia Entheofushia. We are not the same kind of creature, of course, but we were created by the same remarkable person. Ialda Baoth, the Mage of the Beginning. She engineered you genetically from her own biomatrix to stabilize this world, which she also had created previously. That is why we need you now. You are the key to Mundus Magicus' salvation."

Everyone around the table reacted with different degrees of surprise and shock, but none moreso than Asuna herself, who had paled like a sheet of paper.

Sextum, ever patient, waited for them to shake that shared silence of confusion off.

Just like Sextum had expected her to, Tsukuyomi was the first to speak. "... huh! I'll admit I didn't see that coming..."

Chisame took a small hand to Asuna's arm. "Kagurazaka, even if that's true, it doesn't mean anything..."

"Oh!" Asuna seemed to snap back to reality, and reacted in anger. "Of course it wouldn't mean anything to you!"

"That, that's not what I mean!" Chisame said. "You're still just as human as Chachamaru or Tatsumiya!"

"Asuna, there's no shame on being born in a different way," Webby said. "Just look at Lena! And, let's say that, if I turned out to be a clone of Mr. McDuck or something, I'd be thrilled!"

"I suppose that it should be indeed exciting for you to learn of a blood relation with one of the wealthiest individuals in this world," Sextum opined.

"I don't mean it like thaaaaat!" Webby said.

Asuna put her hands on her own face. "This is too much to take, and too fast! I'd been looking for these answers for years, and to be given them just like this?! I, I still don't believe you! You framed us and almost killed us all, so why should I believe you!"

"If you were just a random individual with no relation to our organization, why should I have any interest whatsoever in you?" the Averruncus reasoned.

"... point," Twilight admitted.

Sextum extended a hand towards Asuna. "Don't reject your destiny. Now that I know who are you, I'll never stop pursuing you until you come with us. And none of these people can stop me."

"Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you...?" Gray muttered between clenched teeth.

"If Asuna doesn't want to go with you, that still means that you don't have a right to take her away," Negi said. "If anything, you should be more respectful of her wishes if you truly are related!"

"Her wishes and mine mean nothing compared to those of the Master," Sextum said. "And she wants to-"

"Take over the world," Naga said, polishing her plate with the last snack and then eating it.

Sextum looked at her, annoyed.

"Now I remember a story Lina told me once," Naga dusted her hands off. "Back when she was even more of a shrimp than she is now, she and her sister aided Queen Arika and Ala Rubra in their fight against a band of would be world conquerors. Using subterfuge and treachery, these holier-than-thou miscreants, Cosmo Entelecheia, turned the governments against each other and caused several wars that took thousands of lives. They were defeated afterwards, of course, but it looks like a few cockroaches slipped through the cracks and have returned now..."

The black haired sorceress smiled at the scowling Sextum. "Things that one learns when one is 'Lina Inverse's sidekick'," she taunted her.

Sextum quietly set her plate aside. "It would seem that I have lost my appetite. May I ask for some coffee before anything else?"

"We don't serve coffee here," Negi said tensely.

"Liquor, then?" Naga asked casually. "I feel like having a strong drink now..."

"We... We are all minors here," Spike confessed from Twilight's back.

"So?" Naga arched an eyebrow.

"I believe that I speak for Asuna when I say that she won't be going with you," Negi said, standing up.

"I feared as much. But it might be actually better this way," Sextum pondered.

With a single fast motion, she stretched her hand open, and shot several daggers of sharp ice, which hit Negi and sent him flying through the wall behind him.

Chaos ensued.

 

"We were too late..." Murakami Natsumi lamented as they left the stadium. "Sensei won't fight again for two days! How are we supposed to find him in the meanwhile?"

"We will do some detective work," suggested her travel companion, raising a finger and wagging it. "Finding a young man with a large circle of fans can't be too difficult, can it? And the way you described your friends, they can't be keeping that low a profile!"

"That's what worries me," Natsumi sighed. "They have a lot of enemies, and even the whole team was beaten down back there. Separated, they're in even greater danger..."

Drake Mallard unfolded a map of the city and examined it as they walked. "Let's see... For a duo of fighters wanting to keep privacy and keeping several female partners around them, a hotel would be too risky. If they're thinking straight, they would want to rent a house instead. According to this handy guide, the neighborhood ahead of us offers several large residences for rent, and it's a popular destination for tourists on a reasonable budget."

"Meaning?" Natsumi asked.

"The houses are big but also terribly dilapidated so they're cheap enough," the talking duck said.

"Makes sense." She nodded.

"Yep, yep. And since it's close to the colisseum, we should start looking th-"

A massive explosion resounded then, several city blocks ahead of them.

Drake smiled. "Bingo!"

And the freckled girl sweatdropped. "That does sound like them, all right. I don't know if I should feel glad or terrified now..."

 

From a nearby rooftop, orders were issued in a clear, yet hushed tone.

“She’s initiated hostilities. You know what to do.”

Chisame was screaming Negi’s name and moving quickly towards the blur that was Sextum. The albino was rocketing through the hole in the wall to engage Negi in combat on the sidewalk outside.

Webby all but stumbled after Chisame while Lena, in turn, tried to reach for Webby and pull her back. Before the taller duck girl could do so, however, she was forcibly yanked back by someone or something else, making her quack loudly in further surprise.

Several explosions boomed through the living room, scattering Negi’s comrades and assorted mercenaries in all directions. The windows shattered from the outside, and people jumped in through them.

Asuna, who had dropped onto Rito’s face crotchfirst and knocking him out, was the first to get a clear look at one of the intruders, recognizing her as the beautiful girl with long long pigtails who had followed Sextum through Kyoto. She was wearing a long white cloak and thick soled boots, and was staring coldly at her.

“You come with us,” Homura said, and moved a hand around, sending a burst of flames towards Asuna. The redhead grabbed Rito and jumped back with him, causing him to yelp and wake up abruptly.

Chisame, still in her child form, had rolled across some shattered glass, getting minor cuts, before being helped to stop by Webby, right before she could fall in the way of one of the sonic booms that had devastated the house. Now they were on the sidewalk, not too far from where Negi was powering up in his Magia Erebea form to face Sextum.

A gorgeous young lady with long light brown hair stood over them, wearing a long white coat and boots. In her hands she held a violin, and she had two long, blunt ended horns sprouting from her scalp.

“Greetings, I am Shirabe,” she introduced herself with a polite bowing. “I will be your opponent today, it seems.”

Yue had been hugged by Collet as the dog girl threw herself aside and out of the way of another explosion, going the opposite direction from the others. They bumped against a wall, and then Collet was punted in the butt and away from Yue. Yue looked up to see a tanned girl with a long reptilian tail sticking out the lower back of her long, concealing white overcoat. She had an expressionless face much like Yue herself’s, and two long twisted horns, each on a side of her head.

“I am Tamaki,” this stranger hissed coldly. “Prepare to surrender, or face the consequences.”

Naga picked Illya in her arms and shielded her with her body, all but forming a ball around her to protect her from the brunt of the explosions. Illya whined as she felt the woman’s large breasts smashing down on her head and almost suffocating her, but soon, she had to forget about it.

A more pressing concern had appeared in the form of a girl also wearing white, with short black hair and two cute black cat ears sticking out of it. She also had a long black tail, much like that of a feline.

Naga clenched a sharp wide grin. “Ohh, ho ho ho! I certainly hope you have nine lives, because I’m taking seven of them today! Who are you, you little interloper?”

“Call me Tamaki, please,” the girl said, flexing her hands and popping large claws out each finger. “Lina Inverse’s sidekick. This will earn us some fame…”

“WHY PEOPLE INSIST ON CALLING ME THAT?!”

Kotaro coughed and popped back up to his feet, with Jillas and Yukino falling by their side. He tried to locate the others, but the first thing he saw, instead, was what he thought was Sextum. A better look through the rising dust and a sniff of the air told him otherwise. This was a young man, although strikingly similar to Sextum. A bit shorter, maybe. With even colder, more piercing eyes.

“Aw, damn…” Kotaro muttered, finally remembering him from the Gateport.

“Inugami Kotaro,” Tertium Averruncus said, spreading his arms slowly. “We didn’t get to fight each other back there. Let us see if Quintum was—“

Then Gray jumped out from a side and kicked him in the face.

Chaos ensued again.

 

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Aliens.

The man in the cocoon gasped in agony.

“Oh puhleeze!” he cried. “It hurts! Hurts so much! Suh-Someone… Any… one… Puhleeze kuh-kill me…!”

He trembled and rattled in place, screaming as high as his lungs would give, and then a Chestbuster exploded out of his…

… ass.

The creature stopped for a moment after dropping onto the floor, and then before shaking off with extreme disgust. It began rubbing itself against the floor, trying to wipe itself clean.

“Oh man, oh man! Fuck! This is so gross!” it screamed. “What a blunder! I hope nobody saw it…!”

 

Young Romance.

Negi let out all of the air in his lungs, cleared his mind, and rapidly began filling it with nothing but dark thoughts, which was scarily easy at the moment.

It came over to him far faster and more intensely than the first few times, during Rakan's training. It paralyzed his heart for a moment and made his eyes widen, filling them with oily darkness. His hair stood spikier and crackled with electricity. His hands clawed around, as he stood on the sidewalk, surrounded by shrieking tourists fleeing the scene.

"Ah. Magia Erebea," Sextum said, pausing before him. "Who taught it to you? McDowell?"

Negi roared, and he didn't recognize his own voice. It sounded like Berserker's, somewhat, but exploding out of his own chest and throat, which would have made it scarier if only his mind wasn't clouded so much by hatred and anger at the time.

He fixed his killer eyes on the girl before him and launched himself at her, slashing and punching.

"Interesting," she said, managing to block his first blow with an arm, but then flinching subtly, with an expression he hadn't seen in her before. "I never had the chance to fight an user myself. Only read the reports on them..."

She had, naturally, seen McDowell's display in Kyoto, but hadn't dared tackling her, for she knew that would be suicide. This boy, however, clearly hadn't reached the same level yet. How could he? Obviously, he hadn't learned the technique by the time Ala Alba was ambushed, so it had to be an extremely recent development.

So bestial at this point, and yet, as she kept blocking and dodging more of his attacks to qualify them properly, she realized that not only he was giving no signs of growing tired, not only he seemed more energized by the moment of anything, but he was gaining more control over himself, striking with more precision. Each punch and kick was more restrained and refined than the prior, and he was making evident his mastery of the Chinese martial arts, the same ones he had learned after Kyoto and shown her at the Gateport.

"Yes, this is much better," she said softly. "I am satisfied by your progress..."

His face trembled and clenched, and then, in a paradoxically slow motion over the vertiginous blur of his movements, twisted itself backwards into a smile of sorts. She smelled nice, not like his sister, but antiseptic and calming in a way, helping him cope through his fury. The calm in her face as he hit her also helped, as this was different from fighting while Rakan taunted him.

Without knowing why, without noticing it, she smiled back. She began pressing back on the attack, bashing his fists with hers, and creating small explosions with each impact. She advanced on him, and for a moment he was pushed back, but then he stood his ground and the irresistible force met the unmovable object. They reached a stalemate in the same spot, each countering and blocking each hit from the other as their bodies exerted themselves, and the ground gave up and began cracking and exploding into shards of pavement under them.

Tsukuyomi watched them, dusting herself off while walking out of the house with her blade well in hand. For a moment she doubted on which one to attack, as if that mattered, and then, by watching them to answer this question ringing in her head, she saw the signals and smirked.

"Oooo, Negi-han," she cooed to herself, with a small coquettish giggle. "I knew it! You do have it in you after all..."

 

Mahou Sensei Negima! is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

All other franchises mentioned within this story and their related characters and elements are the intellectual property of their respective trademark and copyright holders.

---

A Little Bit of Courage.

---

Chapter One.

---

The world was perfect.

Life was perfect.

True, there always were a few little snags here and there. There was the fact that a child teacher had been sent from overseas shortly ago to room with Chisame and Hakase, for instance. That would put a hamper on anyone's cherished normal life, of course.

But Negi Springfield had proved to be surprisingly agreeable and mature so far, and he hadn't bothered Hasegawa Chisame nearly as much as she'd have expected him to. What bothered her were the dreams, and the memories.

Since his arrival—or perhaps since shortly before that, it was difficult telling for sure with dreams—the pockmarked, bespectacled girl had been having these strange, strong feelings of déjà vu where she and Hakase would have all sorts of delirious adventures with Negi. Granted, the fact that Negi was a mage, as he'd revealed shortly after moving in, surely had a lot to do with that. Still, it made Chisame feel awkward about the whole situation. Even more than she would usually be.

Otherwise, it was a good life.

They sat around the breakfast table, buttering their bread in a Western style morning meal, the kind he liked better, and the kind Chisame didn't mind. Chamo the white ermine sat at a corner of the room eating from his own small plate. It was then that the short, red haired boy, already wearing one of the dark green suits he'd bring to the job, made the announcement.

"By the way, my parents are coming next week. Sorry if this is sudden, but I just was informed yesterday, by the Headmaster."

Hakase Satomi looked at him curiously from across the table, her large round brown eyes shining with mild intrigue under her even shinier large forehead, framed by slick black hair neatly tied into pigtails. "Oh, is that so? I was under the impression that Sensei's mother had passed away some time ago."

"What? No!" the boy said. "It's true that we haven't gotten to spend so much time together as we'd like, what with the Academy and all of that, but… she is alive and well." He smiled faintly. "I barely can remember her, but I'm still so eager to see her, all the same…"

"I see… Good thing for you, then," the ponytailed girl said, taking a pensive bite.

After a pause, Negi added in a quieter tone. "Although…"

"Yes, what is it?" the smaller of the two girls asked.

Negi shook his head. "No, it's nothing," he told Satomi. "I don't know what came over to me for a moment."

He felt it as well, Chisame thought, and yet she didn't dare to bring the topic up. What if she was wrong, which she had to be? He'd believe her a crazy weirdo…

And there was nothing worse, in Chisame's opinion, than a crazy weirdo.

---

The world was perfect.

Life was perfect.

The world was miserable.

Life was miserable.

An ocean away, a tall, thin man was hunchbacked over a desk, wearing black paints with matching suspenders and shoes, and a white shirt, buttoned all the way up to the neck. The man had black hair and green eyes, and also an elongated, sharp face with a long, pointy nose.

The man was sealing documents. They'd be dropped at his desk by one errand boy or another, and he'd have to read through them before slamming approval seals on them. The documents were always approved since the world was perfect and there never were any serious disagreements; only every once in a while, in very exceptional cases, a document had to be rejected and sent back for minor corrections.

Said corrections would be made immediately—for the world was efficient, and so was the system—and then be sent back to Jack's office for approval. Even better, the mistakes and anomalies never were serious, so there was not a real need to send the documents back to Upper Management in the first place. So Jack Napier saw little of a point, if any at all, to his job, but he was not supposed to complain. Wayne Enterprises had given him so much, after all.

The horn blared somewhere, signaling the shift of turn, and Jack got up with a sigh, dusting his pants off and marking his time. On the way out, he crossed paths with Arnold, who was in charge of the night shift.

"Hello, Mr. Napier, sir," Arnold said meekly. He was a short, slightly dumpy older man, with thick glasses and a balding, graying head. His suit was even plainer than Jack's, all dully gray with a white bowtie.

"Hello, Mr. Wesker," Jack sighed lifelessly, pulling on his jacket. Before leaving, he saw Arnold sitting behind the desk, and carefully putting his good luck charm by the stack of papers.

Jack's eyes widened. He'd seen the charm before, of course, but this felt like the first time he'd actually paid it any attention. It was a small, comical dummy in the suit of a stereotypical movie gangster, with a thin scar running down its face.

For a moment, a vivid image of violence flashed through Jack's mind. He almost felt the acrid smell of gunpowder, and almost heard a loud, cruel cackle, a heartless laughter that—

Jack left the office quickly, feeling sick and rushing onto the street, all but fleeing the Wayne Tower.

Feeling sick in the bottom of his stomach.

And yet…

---

The world was perfect.

Life was perfect.

Mahora was harmonious.

The short, svelte and pink haired girl in the junior high uniform contemplated this as she approached her two classmates cautiously, under a bright late summer sun and a beautifully blue sky. Chisame and Hakase were eating lunch by themselves, somewhat apart from the others, as it was their custom, since they weren't very popular.

Except because the other girl remembered it another way. They'd made a lot of good friends over the last few months, even if Chisame wouldn't admit it. So why were they back to eating alone? That would have been a concerning question in Makie's mind even take on its own, apart from everything else.

Makie was not a person for worries. They made her feel awful.

"Chisame-san," she said, stopping shortly before the bench taken by the duo. "Could we talk for a moment, please?"

Chisame looked up at her from her bento box. "What do you want, Sasaki?"

"Ano… Just the two of us, please, if you won't mind!" Makie said, gesturing with a hand back and forth. "Um, not like you're a bother or anything, Satomi-chan! It's just that… well… I'm not sure you'd understand this!" she blurted out, blushing.

Chisame raised an eyebrow while Hakase only nodded. "I have no inconveniences with this," the genius said, standing up and starting to walk away. "I'll go talk with Chao for the duration of this interlude, then, if you will not mind."

Chisame saw her disappearing past where the three cheerleaders were teasing Negi, and towards Lingshen and Ku Fei. Then she looked at Sasaki in annoyance. "Look, if this is about something involving emotional advice, I'm barely any better at that stuff than Hakase. Why don't you go ask Akashi or Ookuchi? They—"

"You remember as well, don't you, Chisame-chan?" Makie asked.

"Excuse me?"

Makie nodded firmly. "Yes! I can tell you do! You feel things aren't like they should be. I notice from how you react to everything, compared to the way you were before. Please tell me that I'm not going crazy, Chisame-chan. Tell me of everything that you remember!"

Chisame pulled back, and her eyes widened ever so slightly. "I… I don't have the foggiest idea what are you talking about now…"

"I'm talking about Kyoto and Mundus Magicus and the Count Grant Whatever, Chisame!" Makie sai, clearly frustrated as she slammed a foot on the manicured grass. "Don't pretend you don't remember! Since Negi-kun arrived, you're tense at all times, because you're afraid all those things will happen again, and you don't want to face them!"

"No, you're freaking crazy, what are you on?" Chisame growled, pushing her glasses up and pinching the bridge of her own nose. "It's true that I've been on the edge of late, but that's just reasonable having to room with a boy, and a foreign to boot, and…"

"Chisame," Makie said. "Are you happy with the way things are?"

"Ah?"

"I'm not happy, Chisame. And I'm always happy. So I can feel your own unhappiness, and it's not the same unhappiness you had before being happy while pretending to be unhappy. Are you okay with the way things are?" she repeated.

"That doesn't even make any sense, I-!"

"I won't judge you if you want to leave things as they are, Chisame-chan," Makie said. "If everyone's truly happy, then I guess that it'd be selfish for me to wish otherwise. But I don't think that they'd be really happy, either, if they remembered how things are supposed to be."

"Things… Things aren't supposed to be insane…" Chisame said in a strained tone.

"Oh! So you do remember!"

"I remember you being a pain in the neck as much as ever, that's what I remember!" Chisame said, tossing her hands up. "Why can't you leave well, well alone?! What need is there to-?!"

"My mother," Makie said, biting on her lower lip.

"What about your mothers?!"

"That is the thing. You just said it! My mothers. Plural. Now I have a single mother," Makie said, suddenly beginning to sniffle, finally collapsing behind the façade. "And… And that mother isn't the woman I remember anymore…"

Chisame looked at her in a startled silence. "…"

Makie began weeping softly. "I can't be happy this way, Chisame-chan… I want Mama Madoka and Mama Homura and Sku-chan and Keiichi-senpai back…!"

Chisame doubted and trembled.

Makie began crying in full force, leaning ahead.

Without saying a word, Chisame opened her arms and caught her in them.

She placed a hand on Sasaki's scalp, and after several moments, she said softly, "I do."

"Y-You do?!"

"Yes," Chisame whispered. "I remember Tsunetsuki-senpai and that annoying mutt boy. I remember Kero-san arguing with Chamo, and I remember that Sextum bitch blowing us up. I remember the Holy Grail War, now that was a damn hot mess I'd rather leave behind. I'm not sure I was happy back then, Makie. But… I suppose that everyone else was… I'm sorry. It's me who has been selfish. I refused to acknowledge all of that, just so I could have an easy, normal life."

"Chisameeeee!" Makie bawled, hugging her tightly. "You're baaaaack!"

Chisame rubbed the smaller girl's scalp. "I guess so. Don't worry, Sasaki. Some way or another, we're going to fix all of this."

 

White Haired Tanned Sexy Guys.

"The virgin Archer!" Rakan laughed loudly, as if he ever could laugh any other way. "Dies when he is killed! Named 'The Hero with no Name' after something he lacks! Is always wrapped on a body concealing coat! Has no friends! Mostly fights using short blades!"

The Servant glared coldly, warningly, at the much taller man.

"The chad Jack Rakan!" he continued, undeterred. "Comes back after being killed! Named 'The Hero of a Thousand Faces' after something he has! Always proudly showing his finely sculpted manly chest off! Has a lot of cool friends! Mostly fights using a huge sword almost as big as his penis!"

"I am the bone of my sword. Steel is my body and fire is my blood," Archer began chanting.

"BWA HA HA HA! I'm just joking, boy! Can't you take a joke like any good soldier?"

"I have created over a thousand blades. Unknown to Death, nor known to Life."

Rakan grinned. "I see that you can't, huh!"

"Have withstood pain to create many weapons. Yet, those hands will never hold anything! So as I pray, Unequally Blade Works!"

"WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Your Weak Point.

"Honestly, Mr. Rakan, you should stop bothering Archer," Saber warned him. "You make sure to attack his weak points just for the sake of amusement, and that is not honorable or heroic at all."

"I'm just doing it to toughen the boy up!" Rakan argued, picking his nose and rolling his eyes back. "It's not my fault he has so many weak points he needs to build calluses around! If he were only a tad more like me and had no weaknesses..."

"UQ Holder," Saber said icily.

Rakan's eyes bugged out for a moment, and then he went to crouch down at a corner, a crushed man.

"That hurts us all!" Asuna yelled at the blonde. "You know that thing is our collective weakness! None of us can escape it...!"

"Speak for yourself, sucker," Haruna said from where she was playing cards with Ku Fei, Takamichi, Kaede and Kotaro. "We did read the script before signing in! That's why you never saw us in anything but the Good Ending flashbacks...!"

 

From your Old Man.

Nagi smiled at the assembled Illya, Negi and Siesta. “My children,” he told them, fondly. “I have missed so much of your lives. So many birthdays! I’m sorry I owe you so many gifts, and my time spent possessed by Ialda didn’t leave me with many material belongings. But…”

He pushed Sextum towards Negi, Tertium towards Illya, and Quintum towards Siesta. “I can give you this!”

“…” Negi and Siesta said.

“I am satisfied with this arrangement,” Sextum said.

Illya paused before reaching up and patting Tertium’s head. “I’ll call you Berserker II!”