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Ponzi (Worm/Celestial Forge)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by PlasticSoldier, Apr 5, 2021.

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  1. kayangelus

    kayangelus Flame Wizard

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    Unprotected sex has a tendency to lead to unplanned pregnancies. And in most of real life, you don't get foreshadowing about how your girlfriend might be pregnant. She just takes the pregnancy test one day and finds out that she is pregnant (or doesn't take it, and finds out when she is well along the process and start showing symptoms).

    I don't mean using powers on Panacea is a violation. I meant things like Tattletale bringing up facts about her civilian past to mentally attack Panacea. She specifically established the rules as "civilian lives are off limits", then promptly proceeded to violate that.
     
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  2. Cheshirek4t

    Cheshirek4t [Verified feline] [Verified genre savvy]

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    I mean, they weren't FLR but there was some non explict action here and there
     
  3. war piglet

    war piglet Know what you're doing yet?

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    Preaching to the choir. I can't tell you how many times I needed an artificial womb.

    Disapproval face.
     
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  4. Cambrian

    Cambrian The Pimperor - Inspirational as Fuck

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    I love how one moment Ponzi is thinking about stopping Courtney if she ends up picking an inappropriate power and the next he lets her pick a Master power thats two parts TYRANT lmao.

    As a general bit of advice, I'm not entirely sure you'd want your girlfriend/personal assistant to have a Master Power.

    But then, the general theme of this story seems to be a neverending trainwreck that continues to somehow workout in spite of the odds so I'm definitely still here for it lol.
     
  5. Autocorruptor

    Autocorruptor Corrupting Innocent Grammar

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    Steve is horrible at keeping secrets. There is a nonzero chance that he outs Cauldron and topples their operations.

    I also appreciate all the effort you put into coming up with original Cauldron Vials
    date
    Kek
    “Supervillain Ponzi kidnaps Panacea, no demands for a ransom yet.”
    Wait wait wait, you are going through with this plan, with less than a day of prep work? This is a bad idea. He should at least make certain everything is set up right. Making an artificial womb for an unborn child isn’t the sort of thing you want to half-ass. Medical procedures in general shouldn’t be halfassed. But I suppose its in character for him.


    *raises finger*
    *lowers finger*
    I have no words. This is bizarre.
     
  6. war piglet

    war piglet Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm a bit disappointed he didn't try to steal Armsmaster s motorcycle again.
     
    tregr and Jeff like this.
  7. kayangelus

    kayangelus Flame Wizard

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    He either builds anti-Master protection, or Ponzi gets controlled by someone with basic impulse control and gets much more dangerous over night.

    Also what are the chances she picked a Master power to stop him cheating on her. She is probably aware of his hot date
     
  8. PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    I mean, they're both irresponsible people in a long-term relationship. Mistakes happen.

    She would not prefer that?

    Yes? Did I screw something up to prompt this?

    Yes.

    Maybe, but Cauldron's not defenseless.

    Actually, I got most of those vials from other people. If you check the spoiler tab in the bottom, you will see a link to some resources I worked with.

    I think both day and date are correct here.
     
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  9. 012345

    012345 Well worn.

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    Maybe it was mentioned earlier but simply sliped my mind. The story is from 1th person PoV so I simply for long while tought about him as Ponzi.
    I know but it sound like that if you think about it. The whole 'if you broke it, you should fix it on your own instead of telling me its broken'.
     
  10. PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    Yeah, Ponzi's real name is Steven Fiorelli. It was mentioned a while ago. As for Courtney, she meant it more in the "If you didn't want to take me to Panacea, then you should have already fixed it." sense.
     
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  11. zapking5

    zapking5 But I don't want to have a title!

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    I was going to wait for the story to catch up on Spacebattles but I couldn't resist.

    At the rate that Ponzi keeps casually making a joke out of Armsmaster I wouldn't be surprised if Colin had a Second Trigger in this story lol.
     
    tregr, Jeff and PlasticSoldier like this.
  12. Tournament of course

    Tournament of course Experienced

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    i know what it sex and unprotected sex is. Everyone don’t have to give a lecture anyone on it like a teacher or parent. That’s kind of rude.

    I mean so far from what I read there was nothing that indicated or gave at least a hint that they where doing the deed off screen. Where’s the hint or foreshadowing of her being pregnant or something to detect that she is. That’s why it felt like it came out of nowhere all of a sudden blindsiding me. I mean all of a sudden now we go straight to sudden surgery and artificial womb when he does not have any powers suited for that also seems what to rushed. It through me out of the flow of the story like a car crash without a seat belt on.

    It feels like there needs more work or time in the stories writing. I am not putting down anyone but it’s becoming a rushed clusterfuck that’s snowballing. More time might be needed for the chapters.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2021
  13. tregr

    tregr Getting sticky.

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    Dunno, for me it was pretty easy to understand that they did a lot of drinking and fucking. Like them being boyfriend and girlfriend and sleeping in the same bed.
     
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  14. maitogai83

    maitogai83 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    ... I'm sorry, but this reads like a bunch of bullet points that were fluffed up. There's no rhyme or reason to anything going on, the MC seems completely incapable of thinking more than five minutes ahead, there doesn't seem to be a narrative at all.

    It's like each paragraph is an update for a quest, but with random players doing random write-ins each time.

    There's a faint impression that everything happens in a fugue-like state, as there is no cohesion or consequences.
     
  15. WaNoMatsuri

    WaNoMatsuri Not too sore, are you?

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    I thought he would at least comment at Armsy having backups but eh, not important.

    For how long Ponzi had CF? Less than 2 months, right? No chance of the kid inheriting a system or smth? (Does he have anything inheritable?)
     
  16. PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    I think it's about a month, but, he's still as human as a cape can be. Though I imagine the kid would get something eventually.
     
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  17. zapking5

    zapking5 But I don't want to have a title!

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    The protagonist is reckless and thoughtless, but that is good characterization if anything. I'm not sure what you are having trouble following, the story hasn't seemed too unpredictable.
     
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  18. PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    Yeah. I can see what you mean. That's partly intended, but I can see how some people don't like it and I know there's a few ways that I tighten it up. Thanks for the feedback.
     
    Tournament of course likes this.
  19. maitogai83

    maitogai83 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ok, finished catching up. Let's take this latest update as an example: Courtney was more or less a wall ornament for all the previous chapters, with the MC casually cheating on her and showing so little thought about her that they seem way more like fellow drunkards that fuck on occasion than a girlfriend and boyfriend. Other people had to nearly remind him of her existence as his girlfriend.

    Now she suddenly barges into the narrative with a two month old pregnancy and the MC casually lets her pick a power that's two parts human master (named Tyrant of all things) and one part "find another person's weaknesses", when he went with her explicitly for the purpose of avoiding that.

    And now here she is screaming in his face, and I'm thinking "why didn't he use SSS to build some maids to fuck and act as his secretary?". He doesn't seem to care about her more than a coworker that he sometimes fucks, their emotional connection is "being an alcoholic", might as well make a harem of homunculus girlfriends or brainwash and mod her into being a better girlfriend or something.

    Which doesn't even touch on him deciding do remove a two month old fetus, womb and all, and put it in an artificial womb after like two hours of prep work and then just winging it halfway through. That's just par for the course.

    Another thing to work on is how time feels very immaterial. His random naps and all nighters, without clear scene breaks, make it all blend together and contribute to the surreal feeling.
     
  20. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    That sounds like a recipe for making things worse. Instead of simple bleeding you end up with internal burns, which can be much nastier.
    But it's so urgent, obviously :p
     
  21. Threadmarks: Chapter 16
    PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    When Courtney and I got back, we were ready to just chill out and relax the rest of the day. I also thought it was a good time for us to have lunch. Courtney had lost a fair amount of weight from all of her healing and needed some nutrition to recover. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but joined in just to give her company. I also wanted to ask her what she talked about with Amy. She said that Amy was just worried about her and kept trying to give her directions to women’s shelters and witness protection. I gave her a kiss and let her know that I was happy she didn’t feel she needed those.

    Of course, life still went on, despite us not doing much. I received a delivery from that tinker who does Captain America style vita-chambers for the Elite. Apparently, the Elite has a teleporter who can be hired for inter-city delivery. Final delivery was done with Entourage’s guys and a truck. I wanted to see his work for research reasons and had given him some designs from SMAUG in exchange.

    I also took this rest as an opportunity to check the internet for news. It helped to remind myself that I wasn’t the only one in the city making waves.

    ■​
    Welcome to the Parahumans Online message boards.
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    ■​
    ♦ Topic: Tinker Tech Plane Flying Around
    In: Boards ► Places ► America ► Brockton Bay
    Brocktonite03
    (Original Poster) (Veteran Member)
    Posted On Mar 4th 2011:
    I can't be the only one seeing this, right? There's some plane flying around Brockton Bay. It's clearly a tinker tech vehicle, but it doesn't look like Squealer's style. Thoughts?

    (Showing page 2 of 31)

    ►Procto the Unfortunate Tinker (Not a tinker)
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    I can assure you that I had nothing to do with this. Maybe it's Ponzi's? We know he can do giant robots, so a plane wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.
    ►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor)
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    I think it came from what used to be Merchant territory, so maybe Squealer escaped and decided it's no longer time to be lying low?
    ►Brocktonite03 (Original Poster) (Veteran Member)
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    Hey, I just took another look, and it looks like the plane is carrying some kind of bike around.
    ►Space Zombie
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    Brockton is weird. News at 11.
    ►BadSamurai
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    I definitely think it's Ponzi. It's not much of a stretch given what he's already built and where else would he test a plane but in the town where he lives?
    ►Laotsunn (Kyushu Survivor)
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    Space Zombie: Yeah, weird stuff happens all the time, but what else would we do? Not talk about it?
    ►Mac's Dual Rocket Propelled Grenades
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    It sort of looks like a Sukhoi Su-33, but a real Su-33 would've stalled from flying so slow.
    ►Space Zombie
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    Laotsunn: Alternatively, you could go outside and live your life instead of being on PHO all day.
    Mac: It's tinker tech, since when does physics apply to tinker tech?
    ►Brockton_Fever
    Replied On Mar 4th 2011:
    Chill guys. If you must argue, can't you argue over something useful?
    End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 29, 30, 31
    ♦ Topic: Max Anders Kidnapping
    In: Boards ► Places ► America ► Brockton Bay
    Bagrat
    (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
    Posted On Mar 5th 2011:
    Not sure what the context of this is, but someone sent me a video of what looks to be a kidnapping of Max Anders. You can see the van pull into his driveway (shown from tax records here), then a bunch of normals run in, and then they come back looking a bit worse for wear, but with someone handcuffed and with a bag over their head (who sort of looks like the Max in these pictures).

    (Showing page 1 of 8)

    ►ArchmageEin
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Oh, come on! Brockton Bay just starts to get better and this crap happens?
    ►Mac's Dual Rocket Propelled Grenades
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Yeah, total bullshit. Medhall is like Brockton's only big company. Here's hoping he's returned safe and sound.
    ►AverageAlexandros (Cape Husband)
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Don't those guys kinda look like Bastard Son's guys?
    ►Bagrat (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    AverageAlexandros: Maybe, but why would he be all the way out here?
    ►SenorEel
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    I have no idea why this is happening. I just really hope I'll still get my paycheck next week.
    ►WagTheDog
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Yeah, let's hope the cops work fast.
    ►XxVoid_CowboyxX
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Why not the Protectorate? This seems like something Dragon could solve in her sleep.
    ►SenorEel
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Void: I would also appreciate the Protectorate rescuing my boss.
    ►JWilson (Verified PRT Agent)
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    SenorEel: We usually only get involved in cape things, but I'll ask around.
    End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 6, 7, 8

    ■​
    ♦ Topic: Light Show Joins the Brockton Stars
    In: Boards ► Places ► America ► Brockton Bay
    Squad
    (Original Poster) (Verified Cape)
    Posted On Mar 5th 2011:
    The Brockton Stars are proud to announce their fourth member, Light Show! She's a feisty flier, a beautiful blaster, and a heroic heroine! Expect an official unveiling at today's press conference!

    (Showing page 1 of 3)

    ►Laser Augment
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Nice! It's always cool to see someone who likes lasers as much as me.
    ►SenorEel
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    The Brockton Stars are barely a week old and already have four members? They must've spent a ton of time recruiting.
    ►BadSamurai
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    SenorEel: Yeah, but their members aren't that impressive. The steampunk cyborg is awesome, but the other two are barely stronger than normal people. Light Show could solo the rest of the team easily.
    ►Laser Augment
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    SenorEel, BadSamurai: Regardless, this is something to celebrate! More heroes are always good.
    ►XxVoid_CowboyxX
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Isn't she obviously Purity?
    ►GstringGirl
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Void: Come on, why would Purity join a hero group, when the Empire she spent the last decade in is right next door?
    ►BadSamurai
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    No, I think he's right. If Purity wanted to leave the Empire, but didn't want to go very far some new hero team desperate for recruits would be a perfect place to go for protection.
    ►Squad (Original Poster) (Verified Cape)
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Laser Augment: I'll make sure she hears your appreciation.
    For the record, I would like to deny unequivocally the suggestion that Light Show has any relation to Purity. This is a distraction from the hard work of helping Brockton Bay.
    ►XxVoid_CowboyxX
    Replied On Mar 5th 2011:
    Squad: Of course, you would say that.
    End of Page. 1, 2, 3

    ■​

    Those threads were actually pretty interesting to me, and my new power was only a momentary distraction. Even if Max Anders isn’t actually Kaiser, he’s still someone important to the Empire and shouldn’t be a pushover. I, also, shouldn’t need to explain why the Empire wouldn’t just let Purity join another group. It seems like the Elite went after the Empire pretty hard. There’s a decent chance that they will drag me in, and I’ll feel the aftershocks regardless.

    With that unhappy revelation, I decided to enjoy my lazy afternoon with Courtney in case I was busy in the future. We pounded out the first two seasons of Cape Adventure Squad. I had not heard of the show before, but it was supposed to be a parody of those cheesy Protectorate Pals cartoons for children, and Courtney said it was good. We also made a drinking game out of it, which we wound down after we ordered some pizza for dinner.

    I could tell after the season two finale that Courtney would fall asleep if I let her, that meant right then was the last chance for her to drink the vial if we didn’t want to put it off for another day. Putting it off for another day seemed like a bad move, since there was always the possibility of a crisis happening that I needed her power to solve. The first step of that was to go to the Laboratorium and check on it. The results were interesting. The vial didn’t actually have the ability to grant superpowers. It was closer to a trans-dimensional locator beacon. The substance they made it out of was also pretty interesting, it was definitely crystal, but behaved like organic life. If I had a spare vial, I would definitely want to try tracing that locator beacon and maybe even doing destructive testing on it, but that seemed really expensive. I’d at least want to upgrade my knowledge of dimensional science before I did any in-depth research.

    I thought it might be useful to compare the lab results to Cauldron’s instructions, but it wasn’t. The instructions were just instructions. They contained important info like making sure the vial is well-mixed before use and not having any other cape standing within sixteen feet, but they didn’t have any details on how the vial actually worked.

    With me having extracted all the knowledge I could from the vial, there was no reason to delay Courtney drinking it and plenty of reasons to accelerate it. I took the instructions and the vial in its canister over to her and she said she wanted a few minutes to psych herself up first.

    I took those minutes to get ready. The instructions said for capes to stand away from the drinker, but there weren’t any warnings about the drinker standing in the middle of a bunch of sensors. I set up on the other side of the store with a few sensors. I also had modified the “Privacy Please” sign that I used to prevent thinkers from spying on me to have a timer which could be used to temporarily turn it off. I suspected the vial might have trouble inside an anti-Thinker field, so I wanted to have it temporarily turned off when Courtney drank it. It would reactivate after about a minute, so it wasn’t that big of a vulnerability.

    Eventually, we were both ready. I activated the timers and the sensors and gave Courtney the signal. She chugged it in one gulp, just like the instructions suggested, and then we settled in to wait. She started screaming after a few seconds, but I didn’t recognize that as anything wrong, since the instructions said it might hurt. However, when a flash of silver light cut off the screaming, that’s when I really knew something had gone wrong. I just had to hope it didn’t go too far wrong.

    When the glow faded, I realized that my hopes were in vain. There was a hole in reality that had sliced through some of my sensors and a bit of the floor. Within that hole was a floating, Courtney-shaped mass of silver light.

    “COURTNEY!” I yelled as I rushed forward.

    “Hmm?” She said as I came to a stop a few feet from her.

    “Sorry, I was just freaked out,” I said, hopefully, “but maybe you have a breaker state?”

    The silver mass undulated a bit, almost as if it was trying to look at itself, before I heard a scream come from it.

    “It’s okay. It’s okay.” I said. “This will be easier to deal with if you just take a few deep breaths.”

    “Deal with it?” She shouted. “How am I supposed to deal with being a glowing blob?”

    “I guess trying to turn back isn’t working?” I said.

    “Of course not,” she said, “that was the first thing I tried.”

    “I’ll have to think about what to do then.” I said.

    “It should be obvious.” She said. “FIX ME!” She shouted, and I got an unnatural urge to do just that. I felt a rush of power as her command settled into my mind and gained the ability to process raw adamantine into adamantine strands that I could sew into clothing or smelt into wafers. That was reasonably useful, especially if I can use Waste Not to substitute other material for raw adamantine, but its secondary ability which let me recover from failure better was probably going to be more useful. I knew letting her get a Master vial was a bad idea, but at least this came with some benefits. Still, orders are orders.

    I started trying to cure her by walking her to an open spot in my lab and then surrounding her with scanners. Her new body wasn’t even really a body. It was more like a projection made of this energized silver. I could remove some of her silver, but that was both painful for her and useless since the material faded away once it got more than a few inches from her body. As for her senses, I had no idea how she was seeing or hearing, but she said she could see and hear through her body’s surface. That made putting an illusion on her complicated. An illusion of normal skin would go on her easily, but it would be hard for her to see through it and even a partial illusion would be very distracting.

    Trying surgery on her didn’t work. Anesthetics didn’t work on her and I couldn’t remove anything without hurting her and the removed part disappearing. My sensors saw nothing within her besides undifferentiated silver. I switched to trying transformation techniques since surgery had failed utterly. None of Leet’s transformation gadgets worked on her at first, but when I had enough experience using them, I switched them to work on silver instead. That got them to mostly work, but her body would quickly rearrange herself back to normal. She thought that being rearranged like that was painful, so I didn’t want to continue trying. I would probably need to customize the gadgets to work on her energized silver if I wanted to make any lasting changes that way. I wasn’t enthusiastic about that customization, since it would almost require torturing her with failed attempts.

    I could feel Courtney’s power compelling me to do something to fix her, but the ideas I had worked on were dead-ends at that point. The greatest expert on mutant monsters I’ve met was Blasto, but I made a deal with Accord not to work with him. I could already tell that Courtney’s order would compel me to break that deal, so I should find a way out of it, but for now, I needed to think of something new. I remembered giving Faultline a bunch of emails about case 53s that I stole from the NY PRT. I reviewed those since Courtney was if not exactly a case 53, at least pretty close.

    The reading took a while, long enough that I could start to feel Courtney’s command fade and become less powerful, but not long enough to free me. The compulsion didn’t matter anyway, since I would try to fix Courtney even without it. The reading was pretty depressing. No cape with a healing power had ever healed a case 53’s mutations, plastic surgery only very rarely works, and the only treatment that seems to work are Trump effects to fix the case 53s power. Even with Trump effects, they have only treated minor mutations successfully.

    My power again tried to give me a power I already had, but I felt good about that since I suspected my power gave me stronger powers the longer it takes to find a suitable power and I wasn’t expecting curing case 53s to be easy.

    I called Faultline to talk to her about it.

    “Eugh…” Faultline said, “It’s like four in the morning!”

    “Sorry about that, I can call back later.” I said.

    “You already woke me up, so just make it quick.” She said.

    “Essentially, I’m trying to cure a case 53 and wanted to see if you wanted to help.” I said.

    “I’ll get back to you in the morning, but I’ll likely say yes. I will bring the crew with me, but what exactly do you want me to do to help.” She said.

    “Thanks, I just thought that you know more than me, so you might be able to point out what I’m missing.” I said. “If you know anyone that could help, feel free to spread the word. Bye now.”

    I was almost tempted to create a PHO thread announcing my research project to cure case 53s and asking for assistance, but I decided to be a bit more subtle. I had already told Faultline to spread the word. Getting Entourage’s help would probably work best in-person. It would only be the start of them paying me back for what happened to Courtney, though. I finished by sending a message to Citrine saying that I would be working to cure case 53s, telling her that I would likely need to work with Blasto, and asking if Accord had anything to contribute.

    When I felt like I had done everything I could at my lab, I remembered that I had another lab. The one the Elite gave me might have something relevant to this, and if not, I might as well find that out now. I got the key and directions for it last night, so I just needed to guide Courtney into the back seat and drive.

    Citrine got back to me on the way. Accord still doesn’t want me working with Blasto, but he’s willing to provide samples of Blasto’s work and has a case 53 ally who is looking for treatment that he’s willing to pay room and board for. I sent back a tentative acceptance and request for details.

    The Elite lab was great, much better than anything I ever expected to have outside my dimension. It was under a factory that was in the middle of being refurbished. I had a private loading dock with a locked and reinforced door. It might be a stretch to have it pass jets and titans, but it’s definitely big enough to pass normal trucks. Inside was the part that really impressed me. It almost looked like the Elite bought one of every piece of industrial equipment they could. Aside from the standard lathes and furnaces, there were also tools for circuitry, surgery, and cooking. Off to the side, they even had a reasonably sized apartment and office space. Courtney collapsed on the apartment’s bed as soon as she saw it. I made a note to call Entourage and thank her for the setup in the morning.

    Just as I finished inventory, I got a call.

    “Hello?” I asked.

    “Hello, Ponzi.” A woman said. “I’m with Cauldron. I just wanted to express my deep sorrow at what happened overnight.”

    “Yes,” I said, “I’m sure you only turned my girlfriend into the Silver Surfer by accident! That’s so much better!”

    “I know there’s nothing we can truly do to earn your forgiveness,” she said, “but we’re willing to forgive Courtney’s favor and give you some of our notes on deviants to help you with your work.”

    “That’s not good enough.” I said. “What I want is for her to be human again.”

    “That’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own,” she said, “but we can sweeten the deal. We can arrange for Courtney to ‘go missing’ in a way that implicates neither your civilian nor cape identities. That way, when you do fix her, she can return and slip back into her old life.”

    “I think I still want more.” I said, although Courtney’s order was pushing me to accept the offered deal.

    “The only thing else I can offer is our permission to work with Faultline to cure case 53s.” She said. “The only condition is that you can’t let them know about Cauldron.”

    “Fine.” I said before hanging up. The sound of a crate hitting on the ground surprised me from behind, but I quickly realized it was the research notes from Cauldron. A lot of my screw-ups in life were things that I could just recover and move on from immediately, but at that point, I realized this wasn’t something I could move past and it would take time to recover.

    ARC END

    Her power is to give people orders. Targets feel compelled to follow the order, but receive a Thinker power to help them. In Ponzi’s case, he just receives a boost to his power’s progression. Compulsion lasts until the target completes the task or discovers it’s impossible. The granted power wears out after a reasonable amount of time for you to do the task. At first, compulsion is all-consuming, but it weakens over time. In the end, the target does not need to be working on the task 24/7, but must occasionally work on it and can’t go out of their way to sabotage the order’s fulfillment. Courtney can’t give people new orders until their old orders are either completed or invalidated.

    The silver blob thing is just a case-53 style deviation. It’s basically a permanent breaker state. She can talk and fly about as fast as a person can run. Her senses are mildly enhanced, but barely beyond a Thinker 1 level.

    Leftover wc: 273
    Wordcount: 3634 + 1000
    Excess: 907

    Craftsman – Dwarf Fortress (100 CP):

    You gain the needed knowledge to perform a particular craft, be it farming, cooking, leather working or so on.
    This Perk can be taken multiple times to better prepare you for what's to come.
    You start as Skilled in the chosen skills: Adamantine Strand Extractor

    Losing is FUN – Dwarf Fortress (Free):

    "Losing Is Fun" refers to the inevitable destruction of your fortress, whether by goblins, elves, kobolds, humans, demons, and more! It really is what keeps many players going, wondering what will destroy their new masterpiece. And you too can now know how to have FUN. You learn to accept that sooner or later you will fail but you’ve also learned how to move past it. You can embrace your failures to learn from them and gain a deeper insight into how to not fail as badly as next time. As an added bonus, no matter how hard you are failing you can always find some amusement in it and laugh.

    Saved 100 CP -> 100 CP
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2021
  22. 012345

    012345 Well worn.

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    A big part of this chapter is bolded when it didnt seem like you wanted it.

    Also, yeah letting your girlfriend pick up Master Powers was bad idea. If he knew it and tought that why didnt he said anything? Couldron would listen to his preferences over Courtney's, he was the one to 'pay' for it.
     
    jjlph18 and Tournament of course like this.
  23. kayangelus

    kayangelus Flame Wizard

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    Your formatting got messed up by the PHO section. I fixed the bolding issue and put it in the spoilers below. Spoilers are so people don't complain about me quoting the entire chapter


    Aside from that, looks like his actions finally resulted in consequences that he can't just shrug and tinker his way out of in a few minutes. And this time those consequences aren't even his fault! Probably. Maybe they are the fault of his privacy sign? Honestly though, Cauldron should have agreed to clear all of his favors and provided the research, on the condition that if he succeeded, he sold them his success notes. It would have made this one of the most profitable trades for them if he succeeded. If not, well, demanding payment from a guy to whom your product failed isn't very professional.
     
  24. PlasticSoldier

    PlasticSoldier Experienced.

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    Thanks for the fix.
     
  25. Ohboyherewego

    Ohboyherewego Getting out there.

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    I feel like Steven is like the antithesis of Joe from CF. He don't give a shit about a lot of things and now consequences are catching up. In some way he make me think about the Trickster. "I'm about to ruin a lot of things because of my actions but I don't want to fall alone so I pull others with me"
     
  26. tregr

    tregr Getting sticky.

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    Oh wow, this one might actually have him look at his actions and think about potential consequences along with how to mitigate them. I wonder how he will change as a person.
     
  27. maitogai83

    maitogai83 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh geez, you knew her getting master powers could be bad, you went with her to the power brokers explicitly to avoid that, did literally nothing when it was very throughly spelled out that she chose potent master powers, and now "oh boy, this sure isn't good".

    I can't even.
     
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  28. Autocorruptor

    Autocorruptor Corrupting Innocent Grammar

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    Noelle, is that you?

    And it looks like consequences are finally catching up to him. As it turns out, giving someone mind control abilities without any thought can be a bad idea.
     
  29. Tournament of course

    Tournament of course Experienced

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    Exactly what I meant about Steven when comparing him and Joe. Honestly this is well deserved karma even if it is his girlfriends fault for doing this to herself. I hope this dumbass finally learns and actual think for once.
    I have more faith in Joe than Steven and now thinking about it, it would be interesting if both Steven and Joe from Brockton's Celestial Forge are in the same story. Celestial Forge vs Celestial Forge, Steven vs Joe.
     
  30. maitogai83

    maitogai83 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Joe would be too busy thinking about his powers to ever do anything until it came out an entirely avoidable shonen battle that he nevertheless looks very cool in.
     
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