Gacha parody with RWBY characters, as I mentioned in a previous fic. Posting it here for anyone interested. Minecrafr Jaune 3 is out for supporters and will be released here in a couple of weeks.
Note that despite the portrayal here, I don't really have anything against Gacha. Mostly because I don't play Gacha games and my main exposure are rage videos where people lose their minds when they lose the roll.
This'll be a two-part story. Chapter 1 shows how the heroes are handling the introduction of Gacha games while chapter 2 shows the villains. Turns out even the worst monsters on Remnant can't resist the allure.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this one. After this, I'm thinking of writing a 'What If' chapter for Minecraft Jaune where he chooses to go all-in on helping Menagerie and the consequences of that. Chapter 2 of this and chapter 3 of Minecraft Jaune are already out for supporters.
Chapter 1: 50/50 Salt
A new threat had taken over Beacon Academy, one that surpassed the Grimm or even Salem in its insidiousness. All the students, and even some of the
professors, had found themselves helpless before it. It was a threat that could not be fought, that tempted even the strongest wills into giving themselves up before it. In all the years Ozpin had been alive, he had never before seen something so insidious, so subversive in its temptations. Ozpin took a sip of his hot chocolate and shuddered as the name passed through his mind.
Gacha games.
Even Salem's machinations paled in comparison to the reach of this new calamity. A week ago back when he'd first heard of it, he had shrugged and assumed that was just another fad that would pass. As an immortal, he had been witness to hundreds of trends that people assumed would last forever. Human sacrifice, religious inquisitions, disco...all ultimately came and went. They existed in some manner across Remnant even now, of course, but not to the peak of what they once were.
This was different, he could tell. There was something about it that made Ozpin understand that this new horizon would dominate Remnant in its entirety for eons to come.
Ozpin brought his hand across his face with a shuddering breath. It seemed harmless, one might think. People spending money on pixels. But Ozpin knew that it was just the start. Right now it was but a mere taste of the insanity. They wouldn't spend too much money, they would say. It's just a little bit of fun. Like a gambler taking their first bid. Except there were rules on gambling, strict rules that kept it from being accessed by teenagers.
He should've banned it when one of the students first started playing the damnable thing, but he'd refused. His age had blinded him to its true nature and he had foolishly assumed it was just another one of these video games the children of this age liked. Foolishness. Utter
foolishness. How could he have been so blind?
His students - the future protectors of mankind - had (almost) all fallen under its thrall. He could count on one hand those who did not succumb to the temptation of these 'husbandos' and 'waifus'. Why butcher the language like that, he wondered. The headmaster of Beacon sighed and stared down morosely at his almost-empty cup. For thousands of years, he'd fought against impossible odds and yet he'd never felt so helpless as he did now.
He summoned Glynda on his scroll. She would know what to do. Banning the games outright wouldn't sit well with the students, but Glynda was nothing if not crafty. She could find some way to reduce the effects of the vile temptation that had overtaken his campus. Maybe by running the students so ragged during training that they wouldn't even have the energy to scream about 'losing the 50/50' and ranting about wanting 'freemocrystals'. Curse the youth and their insane slang!
Ozpin smiled as the door opened...only for it to fall at the sight of Glynda, deputy headmistress of Beacon Academy, walking with her nose buried in her scroll. Normally that wouldn't have been too odd a sight, but he heard the all-too-familiar sound emanating from the device.
"Come on, come on...no!" Glynda wailed, "How? Why am I not getting the Corroded Knight again?! I've spent hundreds already! This banner is rigged!"
"
Ahem." Ozpin coughed pointedly. Glynda looked up from her scroll with obvious annoyance, "Good morning, Glynda."
"Headmaster. What do you want?" The blunt question made him blink in surprise. Glynda had always been respectful with a strict belief in hierarchy. Now she was looking at him like an unwanted distraction.
"I was actually hoping you would-"
"Hold that thought." She tapped her scroll and Ozpin's right eye twitched at the familiar whooshing sound that emanated from the screen. Seconds passed before Glynda's eyes suddenly widened, "Yes, finally! C6 Corroded Knight!" Glynda whooped and pumped her hands in the air, "Finally! Now my party can survive in the Abyss."
"Glynda-"
"Alright, now I just need to get the right composition," she continued, completely ignoring him, "Satin Crimson is good for off-tank and healing, but it's not enough when I get to floor 50. Obsidian Nightshade is good for DPS, but her low health means she's gonna get one-shotted by the barrier boss. Ugh, why did they have to nerf her?"
"Deputy Headmistress!" Ozpin screamed. It had been decades since he had to raise his voice.
"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" Glynda sighed, looking up at him with a slight scowl, "I need to get the right team or I'll never make it past abyss 50."
"I have no idea what any of that means." Ozpin pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Just...I need you to-"
"Actually, there's something I wanted to say first." It took everything Ozpin had not to scream when she pulled out a folded slip of paper and slid it across his desk "I'm cashing in all the vacation days I've saved up. I'll see you in a couple of months, headmaster."
"What?!" He eyed the form then looked back up at Glynda's already retreating form, "Wait, you can't just-"
"I can. I read up on the rulebook and there's nothing saying you can't cash in years worth of vacation days at once. Please do not contact me for the foreseeable future."
"But-" He didn't get to say more than that before she left and closed the door behind her. Ozpin stared at the door, mouth ajar. He halfway expected her to double back and explain that it was her cruel idea for a joke, but she never returned. Ozpin slumped back in his chair, a man defeated. Curse you, Gacha! Curse you!
Down in Team RWBY's dorm room, the four members were cooped up inside. It was a rare sight. Just a couple of weeks ago, the team had been flitting about all over Vale, picking fights with criminals and terrorists without fear. Now they were all lazing around on their beds or chairs with their faces practically glued to their scrolls. Not unusual for Ruby or Yang, but definitely so for Weiss and Blake.
Up on her bed, Ruby bit her lip as she looked over her party's stats. Allogene Clash had so many characters and finding the perfect build so they could complement one another was more complicated than Professor Oobleck's tests. She needed the perfect parties for the overworld exploration, boss fights, dungeon crawls, and resource gathering. There was no perfect party that could do everything at once...which only encouraged people to roll the banners to get as many characters as possible.
And weapons.
Silver eyes flicked to the second banner. It had a spear that would be
perfect for the head of her dungeon party, but still...
Her mouth twitched and she gulped as she looked at her remaining primocrystals. She only had enough for two more rolls. After that, she'd have to spend money. She still had some Lien saved over, but she'd been hoarding it to get some new parts for Crescent Rose.
But she also knew that her party would've been at least 30 percent more effective if she got that spear...
Before she could stop herself, her finger tapped the Shop button. Just ten more rolls would be fine, right? It wouldn't be too expensive and she
really needed that weapon if she wanted to get the perfect meta build. There were rumors that the company would put out a PVP update next month and the thought of being a scrub made her gut churn. Ruby Rose was not a scrub! She was the unbeatable queen of games no matter what Yang said.
Gulping once more, she bought a stack of primocrystals and went back to the weapon banner. One, two...twelve rolls later and the spear still didn't spawn. Ruby growled and went back to the shop, finger hovering over the currency button. She told herself she'd only roll ten times...but she was sure that she could get it! She could feel it in her bones. Just a few more rolls and she'd get the perfect weapon for Crimson Wolf! Her burst DPS would be insane!
A few more rolls wouldn't hurt...
Fifty rolls later and she finally got it. Ruby's eyes widened as the spear popped up on screen and she cheered. Okay, so maybe she'd spent multiple months worth of allowance on it, but so what? She could earn that back easy! Maybe do some missions on her free time. Crescent Rose would understand. She'd want her to be happy.
Across from Ruby on her own bed, Yang scowled at the screen as her party was wiped by the world ! This wasn't fucking fair! How the hell was anyone supposed to win against this fucking thing?! She growled and respawned at the nearest altar. Fuck, she was fighting the boss for hours now! What the hell was she supposed to do?! She memorized the patterns and got to the max level with her party. She even grinded to get a nice bow for Umber!
Okay, so she was playing with the default starter party, but so what? They had to be viable if they were given for free, right? So what if people said Umber was only good as a torch or that Eliza had shitty DPS? She ignored Ruby's previous taunts about how her team 'wasn't meta' and qued up for the boss again. She was gonna win this thing no matter how many tries it took. So what if she had to lose a few days banging her head against a wall? Huntresses didn't give up.
Her focus briefly shifted over to the banner before she scowled and looked back to the screen. She wasn't gonna spend her money on it. She wasn't! She could do this! She could-
"Hmph! Know your place, swine!" The boss stomped Kyle's face into the dirt. Game over.
...
It took everything Yang had to not chuck her scroll against the wall. No, it wouldn't help. It would just mean that bitch Capuccino won. Taking a deep breath, she scrolled over to the banner and put in her credit details. She could deal with less nights out at the club for the next few weeks...
Pacing around the room, Weiss skipped through the summoning animation and breathed out through her nose at the lineup she received. A couple of 4-stars and a smattering of low-tier weapons and ascension the heck was going on?! This was her 200th roll this day and she'd only gotten two five stars! One was that two thousand-year-old dragon in the body of twelve year old, because
of course it was, and the other was a teenage boy with the most generic design she'd ever seen.
Weiss sighed in frustration and tapped the banner again. How could she lose the 50/50 so often? That had to be breaking some sort of rule? Was the company aware of who she was and deliberately rigging her rolls to ensure she spent more money? If so, she was going to have words.
...Right after this next roll.
Another 4-star, this one of James Crescent, the rookie knight. Ugh, how had she gotten ten copies of this wastrel already? Why couldn't she get the Corroded Knight? Her lips puckered into a deep frown as she stared longingly at the second banner. The Corroded Knight was featured prominently, his bearded visage and striking eyes staring straight into her soul. He was the very picture of a dignified warrior and gentleman. Something that all of Atlas could aspire to.
But of course, she'd had no luck in getting him. Oh no, she had to get 4-stars like Lian and Genevieve. How was she supposed to play with these weaklings? She hadn't even done anything after beating the tutorial. She wanted to start her journey right with the perfect team. All 5-stars, all max level, and equipped with the best weapons and accessories. Only then could she get through the tutorial and be taught how to use a glider.
She chewed on her lower lip and flicked over to the first banner. While she hoped to get the Corroded Knight, there was one character she wanted above all else. Pythia Nicolaides. A powerful warrior who was good at both range and melee distance. Her flaming red hair, striking green eyes, and flattering armor drew one's attention, as did her inflated stats. She was bar none the strongest character in the game as of the latest patch.
She was also
obviously based on Pyrrha. She didn't say anything about it, humble as she was, but they all knew. Her stats and appearance meant that she was the rarest character to get with an estimated 0.1 percent chance of getting even a single spawn, nevermind the five other copies you needed to to access her later upgrade paths. There were even rumors of people who sold their houses in order to get enough money to make wishes.
They didn't get her anyway.
She tapped the banner again and her brows furrowed as the wish didn't register. She tapped once more and the banner remained static, "What the...?" She went to her payment details and looked it over. Everything appeared to be in order, so what was-
Her scroll suddenly rang, forcing the game to minimize. The word 'FATHER' slapped across the screen made her grimace, "Yes?" she asked, barely even attempting to hide the surliness in her tone. She could've been making wishes right now.
"Weiss." Her Father's greeting sounded terser than normal, "I've been receiving notices of numerous payments you've made over the course of the past week. Were you aware that you've spent close to ten thousand lien just this week alone?"
"That is..." She knew she'd been spending a lot recently, but she'd lost track of the exact amount. She simply always bought the highest primocrystals package since it meant saving money in the long run, "I've been buying some Dust recently." Blake, Yang, and Ruby looked up from their screens with questioning looks and raised brows. Weiss ignored them all, "With the recent Dust crisis in Vale, the supplies of Dust have only gotten more expensive. I can't be blamed for that."
"Dust? Is that what you call buying these so-called 'Primocrystals'?" Weiss winced. Drat, "Because I don't recall any sort of Dust product or promotion that has such an asinine name."
"It's, um-"
"I didn't come here to hear your excuses. As of this moment, your allowance is suspended."
"What?!" Weiss shrieked. The windows seemed to rattle with how loud she was, "Y-You can't do that!"
"I very well can. It's my money."
"You don't understand! I've only gotten for five starts this past week and they're still in C2? I can't stop now until I get Pythia! I won't let this be for nothing!"
"...I have no idea what any of those words mean. Regardless, you're cut off."
The call ended and the game dominated the screen once more. Weiss numbly raised her hand and tapped the banner again.
Nothing happened.
...
She fainted.
Blake looked up from her beanbag chair as Ruby sighed and hopped off her spot to drag Weiss back to her bed. The reaper not-too-gently just threw her onto the mattress before going back to her game. Blake rolled her eyes. Judging by the looks on both their faces, it was obvious that they'd spent far more than what they were comfortable with to get their wishes.
How shortsighted.
Blake was different. Five years she'd spent on the road having to scrounge for a living. The White Fang wasn't exactly rolling in lien and they all had to learn to live off the land. Especially in Mistral. Many services wouldn't dare accept a Faunus customer regardless of how much money they had.
She smiled at her scroll. While she didn't have the most optimal party, she'd gathered enough characters to be prepared for anything.
The best part was that it didn't cost her a penny. Well, sort of. While everyone else had to dip into their allowances, savings, and even the Beacon stipend, she'd found alternate means of funding herself.
Commissions. The game had an extensive list of characters and shipping had gone into overdrive. Many were less interested in actually playing the game compared to reading about the characters and Blake was there to provide that service. An afternoon spent writing and she had enough lien to go for ten or twenty rolls. She made money off the game while the game made money off her. The circle of life, she called it.
And seeing the looks on her teammate's faces, she knew that she'd made the right call.
Team JNPR's room was a contrast to their sister team. While Jaune and Pyrrha had their nose buried in their scrolls as well, the palpable feeling of anxiety in the air was absent.
Pyrrha smiled slightly as she tapped the weapon banner. It was odd. When she found out her likeness had been used as part of the game, she'd been utterly mortified. The company's reassurances that she would be well-compensated hadn't done much to help. Her face had been plastered on things before, of course, but this felt different somehow. People couldn't exactly control her likeness if it was in a cereal box, for example.
She spent the first few days utterly ignoring the game even as it spread through the school like wildfire. It was only when Jaune started playing it that she decided to give it a shot. Maybe it would allow them something to talk about. She'd even rolled on that Gacha thing, if only to make sure that she knew what she was talking about.
It was then that she fell in love...okay, not exactly, and she didn't fall for the gacha. No, it was something different.
James Crescent, the Rookie Knight. From what she gathered, he was considered a low-tier character with not a lot going for him. Pyrrha didn't care. There was something about him that drew her like a moth to a flame. The striking blue eyes, blonde hair that shined like the sun, and a dorky smile that made your heart melt. Who cared if he had 'low DPS', whatever that meant. She liked him for his character, for his earnest desire to help people no matter the odds.
She made sure Jau- er,
James wanted for nothing. While she didn't make a habit of advertising it like Weiss did, Pyrrha had a very generous nest egg. Her tournament winnings combined with her various sponsorship ensured that she could live comfortably even if she decided to retire early. Withdrawing some funds to fund her rolls hadn't even made a dent in her bank account. After all, she had to make sure her Rookie Knight had the best. The right weapons, gear, and materials to ensure that he reached the max level as soon as possible.
And of coruse, he needed a companion. A...partner. A quick call to the company and they agreed to tweak her account's probabilities. Now she had both James and Pythia in her party as an adventurering pair exploring the land of Vatey. Alright, there were two others in the party due to hard-coded requirements, but she never put them in the field. She didn't need to. Pythia and Jaune were more than enough to explore the word.
...
She meant James.
She looked up from the screen to her partner. Like almost everyone else at school, he was playing the game, though so far he hadn't spent a single lien. She'd offered to give him the money - give because she didn't expect it to be paid back - but he refused. Completing specific missions gave a person one or two rolls. It was a slow method, and one the rest of the students considered far too tedious to do. Who had time to actually play the game when they could simply pay to get wishes?
And yet Jaune seemed to have Atlesian luck. Every single time he rolled, he'd come up with a minimum of four 5-star characters. She'd called the company and asked if they'd modified any other accounts but they assured her that she was a special case and she only got that benefit because of her work with the company.
"Sweet, another roll." Jaune cheered.
Pyrrha hopped off her bed and looked over Jaune's shoulder as the animation played. She was sure his luck would keep up.
And so it did. Pyrrha gasped softly at the sight of
five Pythia characters lined up in a row next to a single Rookie Knight. This...was this a sign? Pyrrha believed in destiny, and this felt like fate giving her a signal, "Huh. Hey, Pyr. These 5-stars kinda look like you."
"S-So they do," Pyrrha blushed, "I heard she has really good stats, so why don't you-"
"Wow, these guys go for a lot of experience!" Pyrrha watched, utterly horrified, as he put a single Pythia into storage then dragged the other four away. "I've been hoping to level up Obsidian." He tapped the screen and the four Pythia copies were consumed to strengthen Obsidian Nighthsade. A reaper type character dressed in all-black who fought with a scythe. Pyrrha's eyes bulged as the four Pythias were ruthlessly sacrificed and turned into raw experience for the gleefully smiling reaper.
"Wh-Why did you do that?"
"Huh?" Jaune looked up, "Well...Obsidian's my favorite character. I really like her playstyle and I wanted to level her up."
"B-But what about Pythia! S-She has the best stats in the game!"
"Sure, but...I'm not playing this for stats or anything. I pick characters who are the most fun." Jaune shrugged. His utterly uncaring nature after having murdered four innocent Pythias nearly made her faint, "I mean, I might try the one I left in storage later, Obsidian's playstyle is just really working for me right now. Scythes are cool."
"I...I see." Pyrrha forced a smile on her face and stumbled back to her bed. Turning on her scroll once more, she smiled at the sight of Pyrrha and Jaune exploring the world as a duo.
Across the room, Ren and Nora looked at their teammates with pity. Ren shook his head and sighed while Nora had an uncharacteristic frown on her face, "Ugh, I can't take it, Renny! Why's everyone acting so weird? That's my job!"
"It appears you're now trapped with me in the land of sanity, Nora."
"But I don't like it here~!"
"There's nothing we can do about that." Ren sighed once more. Of everyone on campus, they were rare ones - possibly the
only ones - who failed to see the appeal of this glorified gambling ring. Perhaps it was due to living a life of frugality for over a decade. Orphans outside the walls didn't have many opportunities for luxury and they had to learn to save every little bit of lien they had. Stormflower and Magnhild were the result of years of hard work. It was something tangible.
The thought of spending so much money for the chance to get some pixels on a screen made him feel sick. Who could afford such gluttonous excess, Ren thought. At least Nora's pancakes filled her stomach. Lines of code were meaningless.
"How long do you think it's gonna be like this?" Nora asked with a scared whimper.
"I don't know exactly, but I have the feeling we're going to be in this for the long haul."
Yikes. Some people just can't control themselves, huh? At least Jaune and Blake are handling it well. Hope you guys like this one.
Wanna help support me (and gain access to chapters a week or two early)? Then check out the link below:
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The faction warfare is gonna be the most fun for this story. Whose side are you on, by the way? Not just Blake/Weiss, but all the listed faction. 
Writing Minecraft Jaune chapter 3 next. 
