[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

RWBY and the rest of JNPR were in the gallery over the main Council Hall, watching Jaune at work. He was at the podium, giving a speech on a bill.

Jaune: "... And as demonstrated on the holo, our military readiness has been drastically below historical norms, even accounting for the peaceful times we find ourselves in. Relying on Atlas and private Hunter Guilds is clearly not doing enough to deter bandit and Grimm activity in frontier settlements or even near major cities, and incursions by the White Fang and other rogue actors are increasing. Furthermore, our bases in Mistral have been getting by with second hand supplies in multiple instances, and our replacements for our frontline carriers are now three years behind schedule. Is this how we treat our fighting men and women? This anti-military sentiment may win votes but the reality is that the Valean Defense Force desperately needs more funding, and more respect. While I myself do hope to become a Huntsman in the future, I respect the fighting men and women who join the VDF to serve their country. They deserve better! Thank you, Madame Chairwoman."

Yang: "Huh... He's actually pretty good. He at least explained everything in an easy to follow way."

Weiss: "For you, clearly."

Yang: "Hey! I'm not the dumb blonde!"

Ruby: "No, just a traitorous one."

Yang: "What?! I said I was his girlfriend so he wouldn't get attacked by groupies, that's all! I'm just doing my job to protect him!"

Pyrrha: "Really?" Ominous smile "Don't you think you should have informed the rest of us before you did that?"

Yang: "What for?" Deadly smile "Seems like you had your shot and blew it, Cereal Girl."

Pyrrha: "Oh? Did I? Perhaps I can make my own luck with your misfortune."

Yang: "What kind of misfortune?"

Pyrrha: "Broken bones."

Yang: "Bring it on, Red! Maybe getting tended by Jaune in the hospital afterward would be worth it~!"

Weiss: "Would you two please stop?! Not here, have some decorum!"

Ruby: "Yeah!"

Nora: "Yeah! Whatever that is. Ooh! Look! The Puppy eating Lady is speaking!"

Blake: frowns deeply

Ruby: "Puppy eating lady?!"

Prunella Glocken takes the podium opposite Jaune, and smiles rather unpleasantly.

Prunella: "Thank you, Madame Chairwoman. While young Councilman Arc clearly has spirit, his inexperience is showing. Overall Grimm attacks have been falling in recent years, and our alliance with Atlas has ensured we don't need to spend nearly as much on our defense forces as in the past. Mister Arc may have grown up with tales of his Nana and Papa's heroic deeds in the Great War when Mantle and Mistral were our enemies, but that time is long past. Perhaps his love of battle, glory, and headlines with his delinquent girlfriend makes him imagine that fiscal and political realities don't matter. But they do. I hope the young Councilman will learn to temper his arguments with more wisdom going forth, and maybe keep his girlfriend in line. Thank you, Madame Chairwoman."

Yang: "What?! That bitch!"

Chairwoman Browning: "We will take a quick recess before final statements by both sides. Thank you."

Jaune headed off to his office, his bodyguards in tow. Nobody said anything until they were back in his office.

Yang: "Where does she get off mocking you like that?! I'd have punched her in her smug face!"

Weiss: "The nerve! She didn't even have a real argument, she just used ad hominen!"

Ruby: "Yeah! Ad what?"

Ren: "It means she insulted Jaune."

Ruby: "THE NERVE!"

Nora: "Want me to break her kneecaps, Jaune-Jaune?"

Jaune: sigh "No."

Nora: "Reeeeallly sure?"

Jaune: "Yes." He sits at his desk and rubs his eyes "I mean... I put a lot of work and effort into that presentation. But she just insults me, makes me look like a kid and she'll probably have the votes to beat down the bill."

Pyrrha: "Come on Jaune. You did a very good job. I think a number of Councillors were swayed. You laid out the facts and tried to appeal to their better natures!"

Blake: "Which seldom works in politics."

Ren: "Agreed. Most politicians are not like you, Jaune. They will be asking 'what's in it for me?'"

Jaune: "Hmmm... So, what's in it for Prunella Glocken to maintain things as they are now?"

Ren: nods "Yes."

Weiss: "Well, she does deal extensively with the SDC-I've seen her at many functions my father throws when he's doing business with Vale. So clearly, Atlas getting more defense contracts over Valean companies is in her interest."

Ruby: "That's despicable!"

Jaune: "But unfortunately, it's only rumors, not hard evidence-"

Blake hands over some documents. Jaune blinks and looks them over.

Jaune: "What the... These are emails where Prunella Glocken is communicating with how she'll get paid handsomely for suppressing the native Valean Defense industry?!"

Blake: "Yes. Sorry I couldn't get more but I believe this is enough."

Jaune: "Wha-Where did you get this stuff?!"

Blake: "Probably best not to ask such questions. Plausible deniability."

Ruby: "Blaaake! I thought we talked about you going all cat burglar!"

Blake: "Why do you think I got these documents by those means?"

Ruby: "So, can we send her to jail with this?"

Weiss: "No, that would require a lot more political capital than we have... We could blackmail her into voting our way."

Yang: "Seriously?"

Weiss: "What? That's politics!"

Jaune: "... No. No, I won't do that. Besides, if she demanded an investigation, that might get you in trouble, Blake. I'm not going to play by her rules and I'm not going to potentially sacrifice a friend."

Blake: smiles, pleased

Jaune: "I have a better idea."

One hour later, the Council reconvenes. Jaune takes his podium.

Jaune: "Madame Chairwoman, thank you. I would like for everyone to-"

Nora: "JAUNE-JAUNE!" She rushes up and holds up her Scroll "I HAVE WORDS THAT ARE IMPORTANT!"

Prunella: "What the-Why is one of your groupies disrupting proceedings, Mister Arc?"

Jaune: "Huh... If the Chairwoman would indulge me?"

Chairwoman Browning: raises an eyebrow "Perhaps a bit of indulgence is warranted for young Mister Arc."

Jaune: "I suggest everyone check their Scrolls and VNN."

They do so. Jaune helpfully projects it on the holo. Lisa Lavender smiled as she read the news.

Lisa: "-Once again, our top story: Councilwoman Prunella Glocken is implicated in a scheme to take bribes from the Atlasian Defense Industry to keep the Valean Defense Industry down. As these documents prove, and accompanying emails, the Councilwoman has been doing this for years and-"

Prunella Glocken, bright red in anger, glares at Jaune.

Prunella: "What kind of a smear campaign is this?! You arranged this-this fraud!"

Jaune: "Me? I've been here the whole time, check the security cameras. All my friend did was alert me to something I think everyone should know."

Prunella: "Of course you had something to do with this! The timing is too convenient!"

Jaune: shrugs "I think you have bigger problems than me, Councilwoman-"

Chairwoman Browning: "Enough. I believe we will adjourn for today. However, Councilwoman Glocken: Rest assured, we will be launching an investigation into these claims, as we would with any such news stories."

Browning hits the gavel on her podium, and she heads out. Prunella shoots Jaune a nasty look as she leaves with her caucus. Ozpin and Winchester come up to Jaune.

Ozpin: "A bit dramatic, Mister Arc."

Rufus Winchester: "And could have used better execution..." smirk "But well done."

Jaune: Poker faced "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ozpin: chuckles "Of course. We'll have the vote on the defense bill tomorrow. I believe it will go better this time... But do try to be more discreet in the future."

Jaune leaves, meets his friends in his office... And sighs in relief.

Jaune: "Well... We got away with it. For now." He smiles at Blake "Thanks Blake. How can I repay you?"

Blake: "Well... I wouldn't mind if you took me out to dinner."

Yang: "Hey! I'm his girlfriend!"

Jaune: "Eh?"

Pyrrha: "I didn't hear him say that!"

Yang: "We might as well make it official since we've been on a date!"

Ruby: "It's not official!"

Pyrrha: "Exactly! Besides, I should be his-his pretend girlfriend! I'm his partner!"

Ruby: "I'm his best friend!"

Yang: "You're way too young! We don't need him getting associated with Repstein Island!"

Ruby: "I'M ONLY TWO YEARS YOUNGER!"

Weiss: "Honestly, you're acting like children. You should all calm down."

Jaune: "Uh, thanks Weiss?"

Weiss: "You're welcome. After all, I should pose as his girlfriend. I'm the most respectable."

Pyrrha: "Not by half you are!"

Jaune watches in disbelief as the five girls argue over him. He looks over to Ren and Nora, who are sitting on the couch.

Jaune: "Uh... You guys wanna jump in?"

Ren: "I'm straight."

Nora: "I love you Jaune but I'd only consider it if you brought Renny in, too!"

Jaune: "What?!"

Nora: "I have my limits!"

 

[TheEldritchPriince]

Jaune did half-ass it, because he lacked time to apply connections.

Next time, though, if he can apply connections, well, it'll be far harder to point fingers

 

[AndrewJTalon]

A very silly idea... And addition to the Arc Clan: An old friend of Nick Arc's. A famous showman, singer, and dancer... Kermit D. Frog.

Weiss: "Wait, how does a Paladin Hunter know one of the most famous showmen in history?!"

Kermit: "Ah, well... Nick and Isabel actually saved our bacon once during a Grimm attack! Quite literally, in Piggy's case."

Piggy: "And you haven't brought the bacon home yet, Kermie~!"

Kermit: "I keep telling you, Piggy, we're just friends."

Piggy: "Uh huh. That's not what you said last night~."

Kemit: "Ah, Piggy-"

Fozzie: "You might say Piggy a-boars you, ehhh? Ehhhh? Wakka wakka!"

Kermit: "Fozzie, please don't help-"

Fozzie: "You Lothario you, you swined and dined her! Ahhhh?"

Kermit: "Fozzie, enough-!"

Fozzie: "Honestly, with how often you pretend you two aren't together you might say you have... Ham-nesia? Ehhhhh? Wakka wakka-!"

Kermit: "Enough already, Fozzie!"

Piggy: "Honestly Kermie, why must you act so ashamed of me? Is there another woman in your life?"

Fozzie: "With you around, he doesn't have any more room! Ahhhh?"

Piggy: "HI-YAH!"

Fozzie goes flying.

Fozzie: "AAAAHHHHH!"

Weiss: "... Okay, now I can see it. They're just as weird as the rest of your relatives."

Jaune: "Weirder."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Cinder: "And this is my plot for the Vytal Tournament! Any questions?"

Statler: "I'd call this a medium plan!"

Waldorf: "What's a medium plan?"

Statler: "It's not rare, and it's not well done!"

Waldorf and Statler: "DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Statler: "Boy that Cinder Fall is in a class of her own!"

Waldorf: "Sure is! Everyone graduated ahead of her!"

Waldorf and Statler: "DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Waldorf: "I gotta say, I think Emerald's barking up the wrong tree when it comes to Cinder."

Statler: "Really? I thought it was her performance was wooden!"

Waldorf: "Well let's face it, she's nowhere near as big a bitch as Cinder!"

Waldorf and Statler: "DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Statler: "You know, for an assassin named after the Greek God of speed, I'd thought Mercury would be quicker."

Waldorf: "On his feet?"

Statler: "On the uptake!"

Waldorf and Statler: "DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Waldorf: "Oh golly, I do love Neo. I always loved pantomime."

Statler: "You old fool! She's been talking this whole time, your hearing aid battery's out of juice!"

Waldorf: "What?"

Statler: "I said your hearing aid is out of juice!"

Waldorf: turns it up "Why, it's fully charged!"

Statler: "HA! Got ya, ya old coot! Every time you fall for it! Hahahaha!"

Waldorf: "Joke's on him! I was never watching her mouth!"

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

They could be Jaune's Great Uncles.....

 

[TheEldritchPriince]

They're why insulting Jaune won't work. They've heckled him all his life, putting down anything he did while also showing him where to look for how. It's not that they hate everything, their standards are just ludicrously high.

So naturally, when the Fall of Beacon happens and they aren't doing color commentary, they show off what it means to meet their standards

 

[AndrewJTalon]

"Hey, look at Little Red down there with that scythe! Thinks she's Death himself!"

"With how often she trips over that cape, there's only one thing she's likely to reap!"

"What's that?"

"Herself!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Check out the Ice Princess! Thinks she's a ballerina with fancy swordplay!"

Statler scoffed. "Ballerina? Her footwork's so stiff, she's more like a figurine in a music box!"

"There's one difference between her and a music box!"

"What's that?"

"I'd want to listen to the music box over her!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Oh, look at Blondie! She's got more firepower in her hair than her fists!"

Waldorf chuckled. "Yeah, but her punches hit like a wet noodle compared to her ego!"

"Her Semblance lets her take hits and get stronger!"

"Well given all the losses she's been catching, she should be invincible!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Hey, look! The Cat Girl's being quiet and not yammering on about prejudice and what have you!"

"I guess that proves how catty she truly is!"

"How?"

"She caught her own tongue!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

What does Statler and Waldorf's semblances do?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

What does Statler and Waldorf's semblances do?

Click to shrink...

They can summon their balcony and remain invincible while it's active. But the only offensive power they have is roasting other people.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

"So, how's our great-nephew Jaune doing?"

"Well, he's not much of a knight or a squire, despite how hard he works. Poor kid."

"I think I know which role would suit him best!"

"What's that?"

"Court jester!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Still, how about that Pyrrha Nikos? Beautiful, talented, amazing! Bet she practices that hair flip in the mirror!"

"So do I, but you never compliment me for it!"

"You old fool, you barely have any hair left!"

"Still more than you, ya old coot! Hahahahaha!"

"Still, that Pyrrha Nikos might make Beacon into a wonderful institution of higher learning and defending the people!"

"So totally different from what it's been up til now!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Wow! Thunder Thighs down there's got enough energy to power a Dust mine!"

"Yeah but her brain's running a 3 watt!"

"A 3 watt? That's not too bright!"

"Neither is she!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Look at Mr. Zen, all cool and collected! Bet he's meditating to ignore how boring he is!"

Statler grinned. "Boring? His fighting style's so plain, it makes white bread look spicy!"

"Still, he's got the perfect Semblance! He's invisible to Grimm."

"Heck, he's so dull he's invisible to everyone!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Sun Wukong, tail swishing as he spun Ruyi Bang and Jingu Bang, flashed a grin at his team. Statler scoffed. "Monkey Boy thinks he's the star of the show! Bet he spends more time grooming that tail than training!"

"Ha! With how he chases after that Cat girl, he's not grooming! He's gooning!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Waldorf zeroed in on Scarlet next. "Check out the Redhead with the pirate act! Thinks he's a swashbuckler, but he's more like a deckhand!"

Statler smirked. "Deckhand? He'd get seasick in a kiddie pool!"

"Also, how is he able to fly?"

"His Semblance lets him as long as he's thinking happy thoughts!"

"With his team, I know how he's gonna end up."

"What?"

"Grounded!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Big Green down there looks like he could crush a Grimm with one hand! Too bad his strategy's as dull as his sword!"

Waldorf nodded. "Dull? He's so slow, the Grimm'll die of old age before he swings!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Blue Hair's got all the swagger, but he's too scared to use a Semblance that makes everything wet?

Statler laughed. "Well, that explains his love life!"

"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

 

[JerkRyanShadowWanker]

These are emails where Prunella Glocken is communicating with how she'll get paid handsomely for suppressing the native Valean Defense industry?!

Click to shrink...

Well that's treason, I wonder how that information would get handled in the King!Jaune au. Striped of position and power at minimum, given the deaths cause by having weak defences probably rope and a tree or a beheading.

 

[Delta/Soul]

Statler and Waldorf dealing Emotional Damage!

 

[LordofBones]

No longer able to let Sun live a lie, Neptune reveals the horrible truth: Sun is an ape faunus, he wears tail extensions, and his banana habit is a psychological exercise to avoid his real quirk - thumping his chest and yelling at the top of his lungs.

 

[mgl1206]

No longer able to let Sun live a lie, Neptune reveals the horrible truth: Sun is an ape faunus, he wears tail extensions, and his banana habit is a psychological exercise to avoid his real quirk - thumping his chest and yelling at the top of his lungs.

Click to shrink...

Gorillas have a really small "extra leg" in comparison to every other primate out there. So does that mean Sun is….. well you get what I'm asking

 

[Gur40]

We do not talk about Sept 21

Spoiler: Soul Eater Resurrections

death is cheap is Soul Eater
and mistakes have consequences

Spoiler: He's Cooked

Crossover Friendships

---

Also shitposting

Spoiler: Pre-Blake and Post-Blake

 

[JerkRyanShadowWanker]

s

Click to shrink...

I don't get the first one and the third one is broken

 

[Gur40]

I don't get the first one and the third one is broken

Click to shrink...

first is Death Battle meme

3rd https://imgur.com/Df5Tfde
link to Yang before and after

 

[AndrewJTalon]

May Zedong approaches Kermit.

May: "Hello Mister The Frog? Um, sir?"

Kermit: yells in shock "Oh my, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you there."

May: "I get that a lot."

Kermit: "What can I do for you? And please, just call me Kermit."

May: "Oh Kermit, I don't know how to be more confident. Can you help me?"

Kermit: "So you want to be more confident you say?"

May: "Ah! Y-yes! Um... I mean my job is to be very stealthy and hard to spot... But um... I'd like it if... Certain people would notice me."

Kermit: "Oh well, I'd be happy to help you be more confident. You just have to hold your head high, stand up straight and walk like nothing can stop you. But you know, if you want someone SPECIFIC to notice you, it might help to know who it is?"

May: "U-Ummmm... Uhhh... Y-You know... Ummm..."

Jaune: "Hey Uncle Kermit! Robin and are I going to the pool!"

Robin: "Yeah! They have a big whirlpool!"

Jaune: "Hey May!"

May: "H-H-Hey!" Blushing

Jaune: "Would you like to come to the pool with us?"

Kermit: Sees the signs "Say May, this right here would be a good exercise for you. Why don't you join Robin and Jaune down at the pool! You both don't mind do you?"

Jaune: "Of course not Uncle Kermit!"

Robin: "Yeah! She looks nice!"

May: "U-Um... Um... I-I just have my school swimsuit..."

Kermit: "Well that's fine May, it starts with just that. Go on, go have some fun at the pool!" gently nudges her towards Jaune

May: "O-Okay! Um, let me go change!" She runs off, blushing happily

Ruby: "Hey Robin! Hey Jaune! Hey Kermit!"

Kermit: "Oh hey there Ruby! What brings you here today?"

Jaune: "Hey Ruby!"

Robin: "Hey Ruby!"

Ruby: "We're all going to the pool, right?"

Jaune: "Well, we're waiting on May to show up."

Ruby: "Oh?"

Jaune: "Yeah, she's getting changed!"

May: "O-Okay! I'm ready!"

May shows up... In a traditional Japanese schoolgirl swimsuit... Which is a tad tight around her generous curves

Jaune: "Uh... I uh..."

May: "Sorry... I think it's the wrong size... Um..."

Ruby: "Oh... Geez..." Fumes

Jaune: "Umm... N-No! It's uh, it's great!"

Robin: "Really great! Can you carry me? I think the ride would be a lot more comfortable!"

May: "Oh, of course!"

Robin is held by May... And the little frog looks very smug

May: "Let's go to the pool!"

Jaune: "Yeah!"

Ruby: "Yeah... Hey Jaune? Carry me there?"

Jaune: "Sure."

May: "H-Hey...!"

Ruby: "You made your choice!"

Kermit: "Oh geez...I'm not the only green one here today...."

 

[CountvonBarnOwl]

(DRAFT) Cyber-Whitley AU: Winter Finds Out (DRAFT)

Specialist Lieutenant Colonel Winter Schnee exited the strangely-shaped airship that had picked her up from a military skydock in Atlas and flown her to a base somewhere in eastern Rana Niejta.

Two men met her on the platform. "Specialist Schnee?" One of them asked as if they would not have shot her transport down if they had believed it was anybody but her.

She nodded along. The guard pulled something that wasn't quite a scroll, not with its full frame and the hazy red light that shone through its interior. He stared at her through it, looking up and down her body for a second. "Yup, she's clean, General"

"Right, come with us," the general nodded, shaking snow off of the scarf that he wrapped around his peaked cap and balaclava, and Winter had cursed herself for not wearing something at least little heavier than her ordinary mission wear. She could insulate herself with Aura, and the temperature wouldn't be a problem unless General Amzel held her out here on the platform for two hours, but that didn't seem to be a problem. Although part of her could not help but feel a small unreasonable pang of envy for the man.

It would not be long before Winter was off of the skydock and walking into a vast monstrosity of a base that was nestled into a jagged, trailing crest of the mountain range. This building, on one of the few mountains that hadn't turned up any ruins of religious significance in Rana Niejta was the headquarters of the 9th Division, named Jotun, was a complex evocative of the architecture that had informed Valean horror movies of the early-mid post-war period, and the books from the thirty or fifty years before that had inspired those movies, but crammed into the skybox of a video game console of the kind that was coming out when Winter was ten or thirteen. Transformers that looked like they were modified into movie props stood imperious, connected to spires that concealed observation and security equipment, as well as weapon emplacements by cables. Jotun itself was one of four smaller complexes strung out around the sort of valley or box canyon down the mountain on her left side that made up the whole complex, the infamous Bell Tower - a source of about a third of the army's folklore and smoke pit spook stories - or as it was properly known, Jotun-4, sat at the back of the valley, farthest from what was generously called a "footpath" that could theoretically access the canyon if someone somehow braved the climb, and was the only entry way not mediated by Jotun-1's system of cable cars.

"How much of your assignment did General Ironwood actually give you?" Amzel asked once they had gotten inside, taking off his scarf and balaclava, and revealing the crescent shaped scar that adorned his nose and right cheek, before warping around his eye below the brow, and the vermillion collar tabs of a general, with two repetitions of the golden pattern, unlike General Ironwood's four, as well as the curly shock of auburn-orange hair that sat at odds with the grey goatee on his chin.

"Not a lot sir, I was merely told that I was coming here to help you gather data on one of your projects." Winter replied. General Ironwood had sounded like he had wanted to tell her more, but he had made it very clear that even he did not know everything and General Amzel was keeping a lid on everything for the sake of "information security." Which was a new turn of phrase for the mad scientist, whose eyes, even now, glimmered with the spark of childish enthusiasm at the prospect of sharing his latest accomplishment.

They were checked over at a security terminal before they boarded the cable car. In a sort of tunnel with a hydraulic door at each end, Winter and the General had been stopped by a desk clerk in full body armor, situated in a sort of ticket booth apparatus made out of angled steel and reinforced glass, adjacent to a remote-controlled machine gun mounted into the ceiling. Apparently, they took security very seriously at the Jotun base.

Most installations did not have inward-facing defenses.

"Name, Rank, and orders, please." The desk clerk said as Winter dropped her signed orders into the receptacle drawer. "Winter Schnee, Specialist-Lieutenant Colonel, my assignment is to help generate data for the general." The clerk nodded after scanning over her papers back into the drawer, before closing it on his end, and letting her retrieve them.

General Amzel merely dropped a badge on a lanyard that he produced from his pocket into the drawer. The guard stuck it into some sort of reader machine. "Very good, sir," the guard replied as he returned the badge. Then he disappeared behind the partition in his pillbox-cubicle. A second later the light on the door that had blocked their path opened.

"Forgive me, Miss Schnee, unfortunately, you won't get to see the Bell Tower's interior during this assignment." The general said, not that Winter minded. Everybody had heard the stories of the Bell Tower and the Faunus experiments that melded black magic with mad science to turn the tide during the Great War or the Faunus Revolution (depending on who you asked) either in Atlas Academy or basic training, especially around Halloween. And unfortunately, Andres happened to know the version where the prisoners lived... or, lived on... anyway. Winter suppressed a shiver. Because he had decided to tell it during a survival exercise during Team WAFL's second year. Winter would be lying if she said she got any sleep that night. Or if she had spent her turn on watch scanning the snowbanks for Grimm advancing on their encampment.

"I don't really mind," she said.

"We will instead be going to Jotun-2." The General gestured her to the bank of cable car docks farthest to her left.

Winter stared at the man, flat-faced. "And what is the ghost story about that one, I wonder?"

"Oh, nothing," Amzel explained, "in fact we're tying to come up with a name for it now. The men wanted to pay tribute to the place our base has in Atlas military lore by having a write-in contest for and ominous names for the other Jotun installations. 'The Cauldron' seems to be a favorite for Jotun-3, so far. But we're having difficulties with Jotun-2. Mostly because too many people, I think, want to sell the madhouse angle, but can't make it work without trampling on the atmosphere and traditions that made the Bell Tower work so well in the first place."

The cable car ride itself was spent mostly in silence, and partly in an awkward attempt at Winter asking why that large arachnid walker was climbing up the wall of the ridge near what she believed to be Jotun-3. To which the general told her straight to her face, that there were no plans to replace all non-reserve Colossus walkers with a more current, "and certainly, a more soundly designed," model. There were also no feasibility studies being conducted on hexapedal platforms in the fifty-meter range, and that what she saw was probably just a crashed weather balloon.

It would have been a standard military issue denial, had he not muttered something under his breath about... Winter decided not to inquire, not with that omen of ill fortune in her peripheral vision, sticking up like a black lightning rod silhouetted against the snow. So Winter let the rest of the ride sink into awkward silence.

---

Count von BarnAuthor - Interactions too static, dialogue too wooden. Feels more like the entry to Stahl Arms Deep South in Killzone 3. No elements of gothic horror. Don't give enough description of surroundings but cannot do more to avoid getting bogged down - Solution = Sever into prequel & develop therefrom?

---

There was another checkpoint terminal like the first one waiting for them when they had gotten off. Winter would have made a joke about something taking over the bodies of anyone riding the cable cars, but quickly thought better of it. She probably would not like the answer.

After being led through the disorienting interior of a compound that could be described as looking like three gothic abbeys conjoined by covered bridges and flak towers, crowned by an attempt to build a power station with no blueprints, Winter was led to a modest conference room that looked more like a converted break room than anything else, if the refrigerator, sink, microwave, pantry, water cooler, and coffee machine arranged around the countertop at the back wall were anything to go by.

Six other people were in the room. Starting at the left were man with black hair and yellow-green eyes, and behind him another man, smaller, with darker skin, and bald, holding a briefcase and scanning the room back and forth. Then there was a woman sitting down at the table, and enjoying her lunch, a cheeseburger, if the wagging of her lupine tail was anything to go by. The Faunus traits were pronounced in her, because she also had a second pair ears that poked out from the braided bun arrangement that she had pulled her purple hair into.

That did it for the people in suits. The other three looked to be men in some sort of powered exoskeleton armor that evoked images of the protective gear worn by the Mantle's Hellhound units during the Great War, complete with the glowing red goggles, that had been mixed with modern industrial HAZMAT suits. They were carrying some sort of peculiar looking guns and crowding around the woman who occupied the table.

"Mghmmgh, Schnee's girl." The woman tried to address her mid bite. Winter's brow furrows. "This is who you specifically requested to test our project, Overseer?" She gestured to Winter with the half-eaten burger.

"In order to be sure that we have truly bridged the Aura Gap, we need a Specialist Officer with a record beyond reproach." The taller man in the suit explained in a Balto accent. "And a General's adjutant, to be sure." The smaller man said, his voice flat and neutral. But Winter had not been paying attention to that. Winter let herself get distracted by the Overseer's claim that the Aura Gap had finally been crossed.

The Aura Gap was a term of art in strategic analysis and the measurement of combat efficacy. It measured the capability gap that existed between those with Aura, and those without. And it was vast. Average soldiers couldn't walk off a tandem HEAT warhead, lift and throw tons of concrete, outrun conventional vehicles, or summon dozens of phantasmal Grimm to fight by their side. So, naturally, the Army wanted to figure out just how to bridge said gap. And apparently, the 9th Division, 35th Regiment, based out of the Jotun Complex had succeeded. Division and Regiment of what? Winter did not know, and it probably didn't matter. The names written on the document that she had been passing back and forth with those desk sergeants were more for an administrative cover than a physical cover. Winter oversaw a training exercise with the 35th. That's what the mission and personnel records will say. So, Winter must have done a training exercise with the 35th, certainly nothing groundbreaking.

"Now the problem is that your boss, and the Council, want proof. And simulations won't cut it." The woman started gesturing at Winter with the remains of the burger in her left hand, showing off the armband with the downward-pointing red triangle that had a cut across each of its edges just to the right of each corner, with a sort of white odachi driven through the left side. The logo of the Stark family, and conglomerate, Winter noted, that explained how she knew Jacques. One of the armored men passed the woman a remote as she finished her meal. She dimmed the lights in the conference room, and brought the large holoscreen that dominated the wall opposite the kitchenette to life.

"Infantry Cybernetic Exoframe, Model: Dragon, or the ICE Dragon, for short. To enter production via pending a successful field test phase, which we will hopefully begin if everything goes well today. I wish I could take credit for designing this but honor has always been the Stark family's forte, so credit for the design must go to General Amzel, I just helped build the fucking thing."

"You're too kind, Chairwoman." The general by Winter's side replied. "As she said, colonel, this is the ICE Dragon. A mechanical replacement body for soldiers wounded beyond the prowess of medical science. An intact brain is placed into the skull-housing where it will interface with the Dragon's main processor, the Apogee System. This processor and its subsystems mediate dataflows, sensory information, and synaptic transmissions because no organic brain can handle all of it alone."

The general was not exaggerating. HUD, night vision, thermal vision, enhanced vision and hearing, 120 meter range sonar, 1 kilometer range radar, a two-way radio with a 25 kilometer range, and much, much more.

"The Dragon can also share sensory and tracking data with up to five other units, enabling it to coordinate with AK-130s, Spider Drones, and, once they hit production, other Dragons." The general went on. "All of this is done through two sensory booms mounted on the sides of the head, and partially covered by the two AR visor panels that slide down over the Dragon's face. These panels enhance the ICE Dragon's visual and radar tracking capabilities and offer an extra layer of ballistic protection."

"It tops out at just over 110 kph in a flat-out sprint. Its standing jump length is roughly 19 meters, and it can clear six at the apex of said jump. The armor is composed of ceramics with an extra ablative layer, a layer of high density plastic reinforced with high-level ballistic glass all over a layer of foamed steel with a titanium backplate. It is equipped with a pseudo-synaptic system of fiberoptic cables and the musculature is composed entirely of CNT fibers. Each forearm has two pop-up hardpoints for concealable weapons. Each shoulder contains a further articulated hardpoint for a launcher mount for eight fifty-five millimeter missiles." The general rattled off his new weapon's capabilities like an ecstatic child.

"Did you have any limitations when designing this thing, sir?" Winter couldn't help but ask with a half-suppressed snort.

"Size and budget." Amzel responded. "But at 244 centimeters, I'm just under the height limit. I admit I'm a little over the empty weight limit, but..." The general trailed off.

"The limit doesn't matter, not now, anyway." The Overseer cut in. "Your assignment, colonel, is to render the Dragon combat ineffective before it depletes your Aura into the red.

"And we want real fucking data, so go all-out." Chairwoman Stark ordered with a sweep of her arm.

"Excellent. Now let's go meet the Warrant Officer." General Amzel said with a clap of his hands.

Chairwoman Stark vacated the table and sashayed out of the conference room, followed by her bodyguards, then the Overseer and his aide, then Winter, and General Amzel.

The group soon entered a variable training room, where the layout could be manipulated from the observation deck. When she was greeted by the cyan lighting grid in the mostly black room, Winter marveled again at just how normal the Jotun complex looked from the inside.

---

Count von BarnAuthor - Atmosphere not tense enough. Again, should probably use saved space from Section 1 removal to flesh out character interactions. Differing interests should be at play here. Also Amzel's insanity, Lowenhardt's duplicity, and Stark's flippancy, and powerlust tinged with madness, should all come out here.
- Leave Stark eating, the others probably wouldn't let her smoke.
- Lowenhardt dialogue fine, pacing and spacing fine. Re-evaluate to see if I am missing anything.
- Set Amzel off, or save it for later if Winter wins the fight?

---

The only oddity was the avalanche of armor and servos that was the so-called Warrant Officer, sitting on one of the blocks, next to what looked like a portable 25mm gatling gun with some sort of cannon or large bore launcher mounted on the outer side, and examining an ikakalaka, a broad sword with an angular, spatulated tip that created an armor-piercing pick on each side.

"Warrant Officer, your opponent." The Overseer said.

The Warrant Officer grabbed his gun by whatever grip was mounted behind the handguard and dropped down. Winter got a look at the whole rig as the Warrant Officer fell. About 150 centimeters in length, maybe. Probably a bit less, and with a large ammo box situated high toward the rear of the weapon, behind the side mount, but even absent that, the weapon would be massive.

"Greetings, Specialist Schnee." The Warrant Officer's modulated voice came from behind his closed AR visor. He pressed a button on the side of his blade's handle, and it began to transform. Servos in the heavy-looking sword unveiled themselves and folded pieces of steel over one another until the blade had shifted into a large pistol, one with a hexagonal barrel, a ported muzzle break that looked like it belonged on an anti-material rifle, and a breechblock that looked like a field howitzer's. Then the Warrant Officer's arm bent the wrong way at the elbow, before his wrist spun in the wrong direction, and he held the gun to his waist. As soon as the Warrant Officer let go, the gun slammed into his hip. A magnetic holster, Winter noted.

She wasn't impressed, and she was already picking apart his design for comparative weak spots that Edelweiss could likely cut through. His joints, obviously, had the same weaknesses that plate mail needed to make the suit maneuverable. But also his waist and strangely, his upper arms, looked comparatively thin. Winter began piecing together her plan of attack.

"Alright. You both know the rules. Each of you will proceed to the designated corners of the training room. The terrain will adjust. You will maneuver and engage your opponent. The exercise will stop when the first of two things happens. One. Winter Schnee's Aura falls to 15% or lower. Same as the Vytal Festival. Number two, the ICE Dragon is rendered combat ineffective. That means all of its weapons are removed or disabled. It cannot fight and it cannot run away. Now, Warrant Officer, your anti-capture countermeasures do not count as a weapon." The Overseer explained.

"I am insulted at the insinuation Doctor Lowenhardt." The Warrant Officer replied.

"Good, proceed to your corner and prepare to begin." The Overseer ordered, gesturing to a far corner in the training room.

Without a further word, the Warrant Officer lumbered and clanked away, and Winter began pacing back to her own corner. As she did she thought of another weakness. The EOD collar that protected the machine's neck was low enough in front to not clutter his face-mounted radar. If she could get in close and drive Edelweiss and Galanthus down into his core to disable him The main issues would be the Warrant Officer's strength, his pop-up weapons, and most critically, his reaction time.

The General claimed that he and the Chairwoman had built an opponent that did not have, or need, Aura. She would have dismissed it as inter-service boasting and puffery, in any other case. But, here, in the Jotun Complex, where, even if the stories about the Bell Tower were not true, the bounds of possibility were driven ever further into the outer darkness. And that machine had every alarm bell that her time at Atlas Academy installed into her screaming. Just who was the Warrant Officer? Someone who lost almost everything besides his brain, obviously. But there was a smoldering resentment that his modulated voice hadn't fully hidden. The man was bitter. And why not? He was a brain in a jar. Granted, his 'jar' was built to go toe-to-toe with Hunters without the benefit of Aura. But the fact that he had ended up inside of it in the first place probably wasn't anything to be happy about. Not that Winter intended to give him any pity

"Ten." The Overseer's voice came over the intercom. "Nine..." Winter saw half a dozen figures standing behind the reinforced glass before redirecting her attention at the hulk that was lowering itself into a crouch.

"Five..." The blocks began to raise, lower and shift, building the terrain of their battlefield. The Warrant Officer disappeared from view as a wall of blocks slid in between them.

"Three, two, one. Begin." The Overseer's voice was drowned out by the sounding of a klaxon. Holographic displays reading Winter's Aura popped up high on the wall. 'Damn.' Winter thought, 'he's got a stream of real-time intel on my status.'

Rationally, she understood that it was a necessary safety feature. And she supposed it evened out. He did not have any Aura at all.

Winter jumped onto the closest pillar of blocks she could find. Her goal was surveillance, trying to find her enemy's location. She succeeded before she had landed. The Warrant Officer was also airborne, and he had jumped for what was probably the highest pillar he could access. She noticed his rotary cannon starting to spin up, and before either of them had landed, she could already see the backblast behind one of the pop-up batteries of a missile launching.

Winter threw up a Glyph to catch the missile. It was a miniscule thing thrown in the missile's way to make it detonate early, in fact, the cost to her Aura did not even register on the meter. Not that Winter was paying attention. She was already diving back behind cover. Her finely tuned senses could hear that the gatling gun's spin had reached its crescendo. And she did not want to be exposed for what came next.

Although what came next was not what Winter had expected. Instead of the double-BRRRRRT of a gatling cannon firing and its rounds exploding. She got a strange BABABABABA followed, and then intermingled with a clanking, clattering cacophony that almost sounded like chimes. Then she felt a fistful of impacts on her side and looked down. A partially deformed metal balls were rolling down beside her thigh. And that was when it hit her. The Warrant Officer had not been carrying a rotary cannon. It was a gatling auto-shotgun. And even though Winter was concealed, the fire showed no signs of stopping. Why..?

The answer hit her with another nine millimeter pellet. The Warrant Officer's sensor arrays! He was using his advanced senses to triangulate her position, and trusting his gun's volume of fire to generate enough ricochets to whittle down her Aura.

Winter moved. She couldn't stay still, not like this. She made a mistake, letting her strange opponent pin her down. But she could correct the error. She summoned a score of small Nevermores, and sent them along their way away from the dying barrage. Most would attack the Warrant Officer's flanks directly. But some would... occupy his attention.

The wurrr of the gatling gun sped up again as Winter ran behind another pillar and vaulted it. As she had assumed, the Warrant Officer's next volley shredded the majority of her summons, but as he walked the onslaught toward her, the rest came in low and struck not the Warrant Officer, but the pillar beneath him. As his footing crumbled, the Warrant Officer vaulted toward Winter again. He had given up finesse and control it seemed, and intended to leverage his superior size.

Winter responded by bringing the battlefield into the third dimension, completely. She created a series of Glyph platforms to jump up to. His response was predictable, and betrayed inexperience, not with his body, but with combat.

He had tried to launch another missile. Just as Winter had wanted. A flick of Winter's wrist and another trio of Glyphs had formed outboard of the Warrant Officer's flank and they launched a volley of Ice shards into him. One caught the articulated mount and exploded all over it, encasing it in ice as the missile took off. The missile exploded in that same instant, causing every other warhead in the battery to cook off.

The Warrant Officer let out a mechanical screech in frustration and anger as he unholstered his pistol and drew a bead on Winter, his ability to bend every joint every way letting him acquire her with ease. The pistol going off demolished the Glyph beneath her, but the shot diverted into the ceiling.

Winter created two more Glyphs to land on. And a pair of beowolves dropped out from the bottom side of each. The first dropped on the Warrant Officer, yanking the remaining missile pod free of its mooring, and weighing down the limb that held that giant shotgun, not just delaying his attempt to bring it up, but forcing him to land off-balance.

The Warrant Officer responded by pivoting a full 360 degrees on the joint that connected his leg to his torso, throwing the Beowolf clear, and positioning his sidearm hand in line with a second. 'But his gun is unloaded, that anti-material pistol needs to be reloaded after each shot.' And not only that, but the gun was starting to transform. However, two blocks of metal, each about the length of a subcompact pistol, and a little wider, had extended on small scissor frames from the arm holding what was again becoming a blade. 'Oh right,' Winter thought, 'two concealed guns in each arm.'

The second Beowolf was chewed up by a burst of AP rounds. But even through the rapidity of the machine pistols' discharge, Winter knew very well the exact kind of bang that a 12.7x55 made when fired in a training room. She let herself drop again, this time landing on a pillar close to the cyborg's, where she began charging a time dilation Glyph, and loading the Dust chambers in her weapon. For Galanthus, it would be Gravity Dust, and Hardlight Dust in Edelweiss. It was probably a poor decision to engage the monster up close, but her Aura probably could not survive if he actually got a hit in on her with one of that shotgun's barrages, and she wasn't eager to find out what kind of surprise was in its side-mount.

However, if her plan succeeded, she would be sending General Amzel and Chairwoman Stark back to the drawing board in the next exchange. Or, hopefully not. The ICE Dragon had proven as frightening a foe as its name had suggested. This was a good project. Just not enough to let a rookie knock a member of the Special Security Unit on her ass.

He proved more than a match for the Beowolves, though. He spun around like a top again, shredding them and filling the room with a sort of high-pitched hum as he did. With the benefit of her dilated time, Winter could see his trick. he was spinning his limbs like drills, but also vibrating them at high speed. Grinding hits like that would shred right through her Aura. Her decision to turn this battle into a quick-draw contest, had become even riskier, but apparently, it was the right decision. Playing the attrition game with an opponent wearing that much armor was a grim prospect. And if he could shred Aura in melee...

It would have to be one more blitz.

There was no way he could keep pace with her. Not with time dilation.

Except, he was.

His face moved. He was tracking her. BANG. His shotgun fired. BANG. Again, he was using the recoil to steer the gun's muzzle toward her. BANG. With time dilation, Winter could string together coherent thoughts in between each blast of a shotgun with a rate of fire around 1300 RPM. 'One more blast and all six of those barrels will be right in my face. Damn. Going to have to use Edelweiss early.' Winter made a snap tactical decision and swung her saber. The position of her blade, held presenting the point, rather than the edge, plus the odd angle at which the cyborg had balanced himself on one limb meant that none of his limbs were actually in line with each other. But that gun had to go.

Winter flicked and twisted her wrist, a hardlight barrier formed as an extension of the blade as it twisted, first passing through the lower receiver and part of the barrel assembly of the Warrant Officer's gun, and then through the calf of the leg he was balancing on.

The Warrant officer let out another mechanical roar of a scream in frustration as his weapon came to pieces. But he did not wallow. He was already moving, rotating on his hip joint, as he fell, counterclockwise. The weapon in his other arm, the sword with the spatulated head, let out an even higher pitched scream, like an oscillating saw, as it came down. It was an HF weapon. Winter was perturbed for an instant. By both the sudden noise, and by just how many anti-Aura weapons that General Amzel had managed to pack into the ICE Dragon frame.

Winter dodged instinctively, and fortunately, she dodged to her right. Had she dodged to her left, the Warrant Officer could have chained into an attack with his other leg. From here, she had a clear shot at his neck. She drove Galanthus down, a black propulsion glyph at it's pommel to make sure that it went through the ICE Dragon's armor. Even with a Gravity Dust charge in the blade, she wasn't taking any chances.

Time began to readjust to normal as Winter focused her power into something else besides her time dilation. But she had hit her target. Galanthus was now embedded to he hilt in a spark-spitting wound between where the jugular vein and the vocal cords would be on a normal man.

Then the spinning sword slammed into her side, taking a massive bite out of her remaining Aura, and launching her into another block.

"How is this not enough to call the match?" Winter said as she scraped herself the block that she had just scraped herself off of, while using her outer hand to slam a new Dust Cartridge into Edelweiss.

The machine man staggered toward her, not seeming very hampered by its missing foot or the puncture in its neck that coughed sparks and spurted gouts of molten blue fluid.

"Both of us remain combat effective. I recall that our instruction was to continue until one of us was rendered combat ineffective." The machine responded. "Scans of your heart rate, sweat volume, internal temperature, and skeletal integrity indicate that you are merely fatigued."

---

Count von BarnAuthor - Everything is coming apart here. No satisfactory-yet-plausible way to end confrontation.
Where did I go wrong?
Fight too drawn out. Definitely. But what to do away with? Tracking each blow and connecting it to the next is clearly exhaustive. But a symphony needs every note. What and where?

Lack of conclusion that is both satisfactory and plausible. Introducing an OC - or at the very least a canon character made RADICALLY different - by having them throttle a canon character that is not just a mook, unless played for comedy, is a tricky proposition. Therefore Winter's triumph over the ICE Dragon is more easy to write in a satisfying way. Plus, the story of Winter overcoming the machine itself is more satisfying. However, the ICE Dragon, in its current form, is clearly too much for a single AA-level Hunter. Solution = use a prior iteration. Set this earlier in the trial timeline.
> Idea - This fight, Winter's combat data, is what makes the ICE Dragon what it is when it faces the Ace Ops. - Added bonus, this is embarrassing. Something for Whitley to be ashamed of, knowing that he owes Winter for being where, and what, he is.
>> This opens the door to reconciliation between Whitley and Winter? No, they would have to learn to think about one another first.
>>> This will require a re-write

Aftermath - to be written - possibly as a Part 3? Points to hit:
1) Winter defeats the ICE Dragon Alpha-Iteration. Only as she is withdrawing her blade from the limbless stump of machine torso, does Overseer Lowenhardt address Whitley by name.

2) Winter's initial reaction is shock and horror. Whitley's is apathy - he is primarily afraid of being seen as taking his loss immaturely so he actively disguises the emotion that he does feel. Which is primarily inward-facing frustration.

3) Abruptly, their conversation cuts, and Winter fears for the worst. She runs to the observation booth to get Whitley's developers.

4) Winter comes into the observation booth only to hear Whitley again. He is shouting at, mostly General Amzel and Chairwoman Stark for not making him good enough. Amzel criticizes Whitley's usage of the tools at his disposal - Possibly, this is what gives him the idea to include so many backup weapons. Stark berates Whitley for losing his balls because he saw Winter.
> Conclusion = Have Whitley rely entirely on Hagelsturm & Panzerfaust. Panzerstecher and the on-board weapons will come later along with the top-tier composite armor.

5) Overseer Kirk plays peacemaker, first by agreeing that the ICE Dragon's present armament is inadequate and ordering Amzel to design more weapons, and go nuts with the armor, announcing that as Overseer, he is formally increasing the project's weight limit from 300 to 700 kilos, and telling him that the next iteration of the frame will not be counted against the Project's budget. He then promises to reimburse Siarka personally to make whatever the General comes up with. Finally, he unites the General and Chairwoman by stating their task is to come up with a machine powerful enough not just to bridge the Aura Gap, but to do so no matter how encumbered it is by an inadequate user.

6) In the First moment of sisterly protectiveness that she has felt for Whitley in about eight years (they have not even spoken since she started at the Academy), Winter decides that she is going to have words with the Overseer, Galanthus is going to help too. Only for her to be intercepted by Adler, Lowenhardt's personal attorney. Adler states that Winter has accomplished her mission and is to return to Atlas for debrief. The general draws his Saw-Cleaver and makes it an order. Things look like they're about to pop off when Whitley asks Winter why she's so insistent on being by his side now when they have ostensibly not meant anything to each other for nearly a decade. This is what breaks Winter and causes her to run off. Much to the Overseer's amusement and Whitley's own confusion.

7) Ending uncertain. Winter most likely decides that she wants to reconcile with her brother, but is at a loss where to even begin.

8) Continuation also uncertain

All told, that would probably be another 3.4 - 4.9k word snippet in and of itself.

---

Well damn, 6k words already and it is not even complete. This ever-growing tumbleweed here is the explanation of my lack of recent posting. I wanted to write for my Cyborg-Whitley idea just how Winter found out that her brother had been blown up by the White Fang and used as the test pilot for a government program to restore wounded soldiers to action. Jacques wouldn't tell her, obviously, and Willow would have been too drunk to even leave her wing of the Schnee manor - so nothing unusual there. I could be wrong, and this whole series of interactions could be avoided if Ironwood just mentions that General Amzel is doing everything he can for her brother, and Winter finds out that way, which eliminates the need for the twist reveal. And possibly the whole altercation. Lowenhardt, you can guess who he's based off of, is a bastard. And he's just doing this to gauge the emotional responsive capacities of Winter and Whitley.

I think I know, mostly, what I am doing wrong but I do not want to destroy all of my progress (even if I admit it was in the wrong direction). So I figure the best way to make up to you guys is to give you a look under the hood at what a Count piece looks like under construction. And to promise that I am not giving up. I will probably come back to this piece when my muse isn't fighting me and making me feel tired for every word I type.

I wanted to introduce a lot of things here. The Jotun Complex - that's going to be coming out as an Original Concept: Do Steal soon, I assure you. Along with Amzel, Siarka, and Lowenhardt, who are the power players involved with this project.

So that is that.

Also, feel free to give me your thoughts and your input on any mistakes you think I missed or haven't sufficiently addressed.

 

[LordofBones]

Huh, and I was just thinking about Beast Wars Megatron too, and now I'm thinking that cyborg Whitley slowly begins to assimilate his past self's personality, until eventually it's clear that everyone's favorite Predacon calling the shots.

Jacques: *staring down a glowing cannon tip* "Don't you have any family love? Loyalty?"
Whitley: "Ugh, the 'L' word."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Kermit: makes his terrified yelling sounds "JAUNE!!!! Help me!!! I had several guests lined up for tonight, and they all cancelled on me last minute! I need something!"

Jaune: "Ah, uncle Kermit, don't worry about it. You always made me laugh when I was a kid. The least I can do is help you out. Hey everyone, you all interested in performing for a variety show?"

Everyone: "YEAH!"

Fozzie: "Hey Jauney!!!! How about you join your favorite bear for some stand up! Waka Waka!"

Kermit: "Um, Fozzie, maybe not. After all I don't want to umm...strain your talent with two of you up there. Besides, maybe Jaune would like to play some guitar? I hear you've been practicing Jaune?"

Jaune: "Yes, a lot. But I'm better at dancing."

Weiss: "Ummm...maybe Jaune and I could do a dance number together? I could use my semblance in place of special effects if that helps..." tsundere blushing "Not that I'm interested in anything but dancing!"

Jaune: "Um, of course!"

Yang: "I'll handle it! I'm very good at dancing and numbers! Hey Stud-You plus me equals good times~!"

Weiss: "Hey there, I suggested it first, besides I'm way more graceful than you!!"

Yang: "Please! I'm a lot more fun to watch and dance with!"

Weiss: "I can put on something AWE-inspiring!"

Yang: "You can put on something that will bore everyone to death!'

Weiss: "Please, your performance would be so low-brow, it'd be hitting the floor!"

Ms. Piggie: "Ladies ladies!!! There's no reason to fight over Jauney boy here. We have plenty of time and I'm sure Kermie here can schedule two dance numbers, isnt' that right Kermie?"

Kermit: "Ah, sorry, but Pyrrha got ahead of you both and she's doing a dance number with Jaune."

Weiss & Yang: "WHAT!?"

Pyrrha: "Oh my... Sorry~." She was not sorry

Nora: "OH! OH! OH! OH! Can I do a magic show!!! please please please!!!!"

Kermit: "Well what can you do?"

Nora: "Rennie! The Electric Eels!"

Ren: "Here you are."

Ren: sighs as he wheels in an aquarium with two giant eels

Nora: reaches in, and grabs both eels "And she said...let there be LIGHT!!!!" *eels zap Nora, causing her to buzz, but also glow brightly.

Kermit: "... I'd love to book you Nora, but uh, Gonzo did that act last week."

Nora: sad puppy noises "But I worked so hard on that trick..."

Gonzo: "I know what we could add in! How about... Quoting the Declaration of Indepndence while doing that act on an electric motorbike?"

Nora: "Can I power the electric motorbike?!"

Ren: "Nora, no!"

Gonzo: "NORA, YES!"

Nora: "NORA, YES!"

Kermit: *sigh* "Not easy being green..."

Ren: "Tell me about it."

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Statler and Waldorf will be doing the intermission....

Statler - "Intermision, what's that?"

Waldorf - "That's the part of the play or show where everyone walks out about halfway through."

Statler - "This show must be special, because everyone in the audience does that well before then!"

Statler and Waldorf - "Ahahahahaha!"

 

[Gur40]

Update on Ruby vs Maka

Ruby canonically got rez'd after the fight, and the red aura = kishin was also confirmed
also it was a 3 on 1 and

Spoiler: Ruby Killed The Imp

so a point for her?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

In the cozy, slightly cluttered common room of Team RWBY's dorm at Beacon Academy, the air was thick with the kind of conversation that could only happen among friends who'd seen too much and questioned even more. Blake Belladonna sat cross-legged on the couch, her amber eyes distant, a shudder running through her as she clutched a mug of tea. Ruby, Weiss, and Yang leaned in, their expressions a mix of curiosity and apprehension, sensing a story that was bound to be… unusual.

"You know," Blake began, her voice low, "among the many other reasons I broke up with Adam… I saw his diary."

Weiss raised a delicate eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh?"

Blake nodded, her face contorting as if she'd tasted something foul. "Yes… It was…" She shuddered again, her ears flattening. "Horrendous. Twisted… Even by my standards!"

Yang's protective instincts kicked in, and she clapped her hands over Ruby's ears. "What? What did he want to do with you?"

Ruby squirmed, indignant. "HEY! I WANNA HEAR!"

"No!" Yang said, her voice firm but wavering. "Actually, maybe we shouldn't even get into this—"

Blake's voice dropped to a haunted whisper, ignoring the interruption. "He wanted… T-To love and respect and cherish me!"

Weiss, Yang, and Ruby froze, their faces blank. "…Wut?" they said in unison.

Blake nodded gravely, her eyes wide with horror. "He wanted me to be his… His equal! He wanted me to be his queen, and to be my knight!"

Weiss blinked, her voice flat. "…Huh?"

Blake shuddered again, clutching her mug tighter. "And… And to give me children! Lots of them! He had names picked out!"

Ruby tilted her head, confused. "Um… But he would, like… Make you a slave or something, right?"

"NO!" Blake said, her voice rising in dismay. "He wanted me to live by his side as I chose! And be…" She made a face, as if the word tasted like ash. "Monogamous! Married!"

Weiss's expression was deadpan, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "The horror."

"It gets worse!" Blake said, her voice trembling. "He would be tender, warm, loving… And vanilla! With long romantic walks on the beach!"

Yang's brow furrowed, her hands dropping from Ruby's ears. "Um… While he smacked you around for disobeying him or something, right?"

"NO!" Blake wailed, throwing her hands up. "He didn't have anything like that! Or spanking! Or whips or chains or anything like that! He wasn't even going to put a collar on me! He thought that would be…" She shuddered violently. "SEXIST!"

Ruby's confusion deepened, her silver eyes wide. "So… He wanted to basically make you happy?"

"UGH!" Blake groaned, slumping back. "He didn't listen to a single thing I wanted from him! Or read any of my erotica! I left it in our room! Open! And yet he never even knew I wanted him to pick them up and read them! Who does he think he is?! He should have treated me like his—his pet. Made me submit! But nooo, he just wanted to be 'happily married' and 'respectful of my feelings' and 'build a happy family with me.' What a jerk!"

Yang stared, her jaw slack, then shook her head. "…But he still wants to massacre all humans, right?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely he wants that!" Blake said, nodding vigorously. "But this just put me over the edge!"

Yang stood, her voice flat. "…I'm gonna go hang out with Nora. I need some sanity in my life." She turned and strode out, her boots echoing in the stunned silence.

Weiss, recovering, leaned forward, her voice cautious but curious. "…So he's single now?"

Ruby's eyes bugged out. "WEISS!"

"What?!" Weiss said, defensive, her cheeks pink. "We could work out the whole 'kill all humans' thing!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

A fun idea: Whitley did manage to kill a Geist while doing some training with his Semblance. Nothing too strenuous, just enough to defend himself. And so he got the Geist as a summon, and he uses it to do all sorts of repairs on devices since he can have it possess objects.

Ruby: "So... You just have your little buddy do stuff?"

Whitley: "Yes. He can possess electronic devices which helps me trouble shoot them."

Ruby: "You... You think you could get into Crescent Rose?"

Whitley: "Ah... Are you sure?"

Ruby: "Y-yes... But be gentle?"

Whitley: blinks "Sure?"

Later...

Yang: "WHAT THE HELL AM I HEARING ABOUT YOU VIOLATING RUBY'S FLOWER?!"

Whitley: "NO! NONONO THAT'S NOT-THAT DIDN'T-RUBY HELP!"

Ruby: blush, holds her cheeks "Oh he was so thorough! So skilled! He did things with my Rose I've never even imagined before!"

Whitley: "STOP HELPING RUBY!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The leadership classroom at Beacon Academy was a battlefield of a different kind, strewn with stacks of forms and the groans of beleaguered students. Coco Adel, perched on the edge of a desk with her sunglasses glinting, handed out paperwork like a drill sergeant distributing rations… On account of the fact that Simin Megister and Headmaster Ozpin had both skipped class. Again.

"And here are the WR forms for each team's monthly budget for weapon cost and upkeep," she said, slapping a thick packet into Ruby Rose's hands. "And the APC forms for allotted ammunition expenditures for each team member, yourselves included."

Ruby slumped over her desk, her silver eyes dull with despair. "Kill me."

Coco didn't miss a beat, tossing another stack her way. "And here's the Iron Bonds form for travel expenses, plus risk assessment forms for each team member, and the health forms that must be filled out before every mission."

Ruby's head hit the desk with a thud. "Kill me with a hammer."

"Oh, and here are the HTD papers for Huntsmen taxation," Coco added, dropping four more packets. "One for each kingdom."

Ruby's voice was a hollow whisper. "Do it slowly. It's the only way to make me feel alive again."

Jaune Arc, sprawled in his chair, ran a hand through his messy blond hair, his voice a mix of exasperation and disbelief. "Oh god, why do we have to do this paperwork crap? Isn't there, like, an automatic filler or something that sorts all this for us?"

Coco smirked, adjusting her beret. "Nope. If we had that, it probably would've shot itself from all the crap it has to sort through ages ago."

Cardin Winchester, slouched nearby, muttered under his breath, "Well, isn't that a tempting thought…"

Ruby lifted her head just enough to glare at the ceiling. "Oh gods, this is not what I signed up for. I came to Beacon to be a Huntress and fight bad guys, not sort through endless waves of forms and documents!"

Coco's grin was sharp as a blade. "Welcome to the reality of being a Huntress, kid. Why do you think Miss Goodwitch is so angry all the time?"

Cardin blinked, his usual scowl softening into realization. "…That actually makes a lot of sense."

Jaune nodded, grimacing. "Yeah, it certainly explains things."

Ruby's voice dropped to a mournful whisper. "Maybe this is why Mum left."

Arslan Altan, seated with her usual calm, clasped her hands and leaned forward, her voice steady but encouraging. "Come now, everyone. Jaune! Do you not recall Caspian Chapter 3, verse 9?"

Jaune's tone was flat, his eyes glazed. "'Give to the King that is the King's, and give to the Father that which is the Father's.' I know, but geez, this is a lot even for hospital paperwork."

Arslan's smile was serene. "I'm sure if we all pull together, we will get it done."

A loud snore interrupted her. Sun Wukong, slouched in his chair, was fast asleep, a half-eaten banana dangling from his hand. Arslan's elbow shot out, jabbing him awake with a yelp. "Ah! What? Is it lunchtime yet?"

Cardin snorted, leaning back. "Arslan? Thanks. You're helping to make me less prejudiced against Faunus."

Arslan inclined her head. "Thank you, Cardin."

Cardin's smirk turned pointed as he glanced at Sun. "Sun? You're also helping me, because now I realize most Faunus are just idiots."

Sun grinned, unfazed, popping the rest of the banana into his mouth. "Am not! I'm just carefree and too cool for school!"

Ruby groaned, slamming her forehead against the desk again. "Nobody says that kind of junk but dorks and my dad!"

Jaune tilted his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I dunno, I kind of like it."

Ruby's glare was instant. "Point proven!"

Jaune flinched. "Hey!"

Cinder Fall, who had been quietly observing from the corner, spoke up, her voice smooth as silk. "It really isn't that much work, once you know how to do it."

Jaune's eyes narrowed, a sly grin creeping across his face. "You snuck in pre-done paperwork."

Cinder's composure cracked, her amber eyes widening as she flushed. "Wha—How—?!"

Cardin chuckled, his voice low. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter."

Jaune coughed.

Coco's grin turned predatory, her sunglasses glinting. "But we'll cheerfully keep it quiet if you share how you did it."

Arslan's brow furrowed, her tone stern. "You know that would be highly unethical."

Ruby turned to her, unleashing her infamous puppy-dog eyes, her voice pleading. "Arslan…"

Arslan held firm for a moment, then sighed, her resolve crumbling. "…However, it would be prudent. As long as we learn how to do it properly."

Coco laughed, clapping her hands. "Wow, flexible ethics on you, Nun Girl!"

Arslan's lips twitched, her voice dry. "Hardly. But one can't take everything in the Good Book literally, because it was made by mortal hands, and thus prone to flaw and failure."

Coco's eyebrows shot up. "That sounds like a very easy way to make loopholes that work for you."

"Yes," Arslan admitted, her smile faint but sharp. "Yes, it is."

Coco leaned back, smirking. "I should read more religious texts, huh?"

Arslan sighed, shaking her head.

Sun, now fully awake, leaned forward, his tail flicking. "So, what's your method, Cinder?"

Cinder hesitated, then shrugged, her voice cool but resigned. "…I had my team fill out all the paperwork beforehand and got copies of it from our Headmaster before we came. It's standard paperwork for Hunters, after all. Nothing nefarious about it."

Coco groaned, then burst into laughter. "Of course! That's what I've been doing!"

Cardin's jaw dropped, his voice rising. "Seriously?! And you didn't share?!"

Coco winked, her grin unrepentant. "You didn't ask~!"

Jaune groaned, slumping in his chair. "I hate you so much."

Cardin nodded, his scowl deepening. "So much."

Ruby's head hit the desk again, her voice muffled. "That won't work for my team! Not unless Roman Torchwick or the White Fang are threatening to blow up something if we don't get it done!"

Sun leaned back, popping another banana into his mouth with a carefree grin. "Eh, I find the best approach is to just leave the paperwork to the responsible members of my team! And not stress too much about it."

Ruby's glare could have melted steel. "…Cardin? I'm starting to think you were right about some Faunus."

Cardin smirked, leaning forward. "See? I'm judging based on character, not them being animals!"

Coco's grin turned wicked. "Or how much you love your honey bunny~."

Cardin's face went beet red, his voice a strangled shout. "SH-SHUT UP! I NEVER CALLED HER THAT!"

Jaune's smirk was gentle but teasing. "Aw, that's really sweet, Cardin."

Ruby giggled, her despair momentarily forgotten. "Super sweet~!"

Arslan's smile was warm, her voice sincere. "I'm so glad you two are getting along so well, Cardin. I'm truly happy for you."

Sun, munching on his banana, shrugged. "Eh, cat girls are hotter."

Cardin's glare was murderous. "I hate you all. So much…"

Cinder, watching the chaos unfold, let a faint, sinister smile curl her lips, her thoughts dark.

Destroying this place will be easier than I thought…

(Naturally written with some help from Titanmaster_117. Thank you again!)

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Paperwork is the bane of all leaders. It's why I think people that want world dominantion are complete idiots.

 

[zMADLAXz]

Paper work is only irritating when you don't have all the info at hand and the things you have to fill out are vague.

Which considering that they are dealing with 4 entirely different government structures, unpredictable combat scenarios and changing health and taxation regulations?


Gun to your head? At this point just pull the trigger broski.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

A much darker idea: A discussion on my Discord was thinking about a Future!Weiss or Winter coming back in time, and among their Summons was a Rusted Knight!Jaune. How much of their soul would be left is a big question: If it would just be a mindless construct, or if some part of their consciousness would remain.

Well! Rather than another tired White Rose take on it (Seriously, that pairing would be nearly as bad as Bumblebee)... Have a Future!Whitley come back... With a Ruby summon.

This Whitley is older, battle worn, the sole survivor of a terrible future. All he has left... Is the summon of the woman he loved. A woman... Who asked him to kill her.

Ruby: "Use my power... It's the only way you can save everyone..."

Whitley stood over the dying woman... The light of his life... Tears running down his cheek as she lay in a pool of her own blood. He shakily held up his sword.

Ruby: Small smile "Whitley... I'll always be there with you..."

Whitley: "... I... I love..." He can't speak

Ruby: "... It's okay... I know... I love you too... Please, Whitley."

He bows his head to try and hide his tears... And he thrusts into her heart.

He shudders, feeling the Aura and his Semblance react. He stands up, and burns the body with a blast of Fire Dust. He would not let anyone take her body for a trophy.

Grimm Griffins land around them, snarling. Whitley turned around, his face shadowed. He summons a Glyph... And a ghostly Ruby appears, swinging her scythe, her Silver Eyes glowing.

Whitley: "... There's one significant difference between her and me... She was the nice one. I'm not."

They charged into battle.