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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Reader mode
I kind of want to see Jaune with a Semblance that lets him summon Servants. Every time he uses it, a new Servant appears.

Maybe they stick around, but need more Aura and magic (if available) so he only summons a couple?

Servants are really, REALLY strong, so that would help.

Plus... If he summons some cute girls then he could do some "Mana Transfer"? Anyone say "Tantric Shenanigans"?
 
Benefits of a Kitchenette
  • Threadmarks
    • I included a common room and kitchenette in White Knight Errant because such an environment gives you a lot of opportunities for slice-of-life and character-building stuff, comedic, dramatic, romantic, and so on. So! Here are some ideas to work from:

    For instance, Cooking Tiers. Who are the best cooks among teams RWBY and JNPR?

    Pyrrha, Weiss, and Blake? Utter disasters. They have all burned water at some point.

    Ruby is only good at cooking sweets.

    Ren and Nora can cook some decent stuff since they were on the road, but aren't as familiar with modern appliances or anything really complicated.

    Yang and Jaune are the best overall.

    So! Some ideas from there:

    -Pyrrha tries to cook for her team, and it's a complete catastrophe. Jaune then begins to instruct her, as he's happy to pay her back for her tutelage. They bond.

    -Jaune and Yang end up having to take care of the others because they had to take care of their siblings, and bond like a Mom and Dad.

    -Ruby mistakes Jaune cooking desserts for her as hints of love and takes Penny's advice on how to attract Jaune's attention back.

    -Nora has a maiden's crisis when she likes Jaune's pancakes more than Ren's and feels she's in a love triangle. Blake eggs her on for the lulz.

    -Blake becomes obsessed with Ren or Jaune for how well they cook fish stew, leading to drama.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Jaune the Negotiator
  • Threadmarks
    • Seth ex makina said:
    Amusingly enough it kind of reminds of Jobless Reincarnation where one character has almost 0 combat value but was his party's favorite person as he was the team cook, negotiator, and general jack of all trades guy.
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    Oh?

    - - -

    Blake had not enjoyed this mission at all if she were being honest. Weiss even less so, which made their bickering worse.

    They were to accompany Team JNPR on a low-level mission to a village out in East Sanus to protect it from Grimm, and to resolve the issue that caused Grimm to multiply. Apparently the local farm workers were demanding higher wages, and the company that employed them was denying them those raises.

    Blake had initially sympathized with the farm workers when they arrived and started killing Grimm. She'd even encouraged a few of them to strike back at the company. Then they'd gotten mad with her, and so had Ruby and Jaune.

    Jaune had taken her aside when they got a moment of peace between Grimm raids in one of the fields.

    "Blake," Jaune stated, "This isn't helping the mission."

    "These people are clearly being oppressed by those with more power-"

    "Blake!" Jaune growled. "I thought that a reformed terrorist would have realized the world isn't so black and white."

    Blake winced.

    "I-How do you-?"

    "Ruby told me," Jaune stated, "I asked for information on anything that might compromise the mission. I think that's a pretty big red flag."

    "So what, you're going to hold my past against me-?"

    "I won't hold anything against you as long as you obey Ruby and I and keep these people alive," Jaune retorted, his voice hard as steel. That took Blake aback briefly.

    Blake glared heatedly at him, expecting the goofy young man to back down. He always did when Weiss snarled.

    "Injustice isn't something you can just ignore-!"

    "The argument between these people is going to get everyone here killed," Jaune stated firmly, glaring back at her, "If we don't resolve it, more people will die. We can fix people being poor or rich later, but right now? The priority is people's lives. Got it?"

    She frowned, and slowly nodded. In all honesty, she'd gotten used to Ruby's style of leadership: Get yelled at until they finally did what she wanted done and fight whatever was threatening them.

    Jaune... His team obeyed him without question. He didn't have to yell, except when things were loud. Even Nora, the hyperactive ball of energy, followed Jaune's orders. Not always to the letter, but she got it done.

    He was very... Focused. Honestly, he hadn't hit on Weiss once. Something the heiress seemed to disbelieve, given the looks she kept giving him.

    The real eye opener was the meeting at the village hall, with the company representative on one side of the wooden assembly room, the worker's rep on the other, the village mayor at her desk on the top of the square, and Teams RWBY and JNPR on the bottom.

    The farm workers rep began. She was a built woman with her brunette hair in a tight bun and wore overalls. She angrily decried the company not paying them overtime due to the Grimm attacks, accusing them of being like the SDC with price gouging.

    Weiss had very nearly leaped to her feet at that, but Jaune had reached out and held her back without looking. All of Team RWBY was very surprised at that. Pyrrha had just smiled warmly, while Ren remained calm and Nora grinned.

    Then the company rep, a local, equally well built balding redheaded man in somewhat nicer clothes than the rep, gave his side of things.

    "We haven't been able to increase wages because the Grimm attacks are hurting our ability to get resupply through," he stated, "We're not hording anything. We're not being greedy. Those are the damn facts, you stubborn jackass! If we could get spare parts for the farm equipment, we wouldn't have this issue! But you keep attacking us and drawing these damn Grimm here!"

    "You're the one who keeps sending our workers out to the fields when Grimm are around!" The worker rep shouted back.

    "Would you rather starve?! We paid Hunters to come out here-!"

    "Hunters in training! A bunch of kids!" The worker rep sneered.

    "And they did the job!" The company rep shouted. He glared. "If I could hire them instead of you bozos, I'd do it in a heartbeat!"

    "Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?! What if we all walk off the job?!"

    "Where's the food gonna come from, jackass?!"

    "You've got plenty of fertilizer coming out of your damn-!"

    Jaune nodded to Nora. She slammed her hammer onto the floor, making a loud BANG! Everyone started. Jaune nodded.

    "Okay, now that I have your attention," Jaune said, "We were asked to arbitrate and settle the dispute. So that's what we're going to do." Jaune turned to the farm worker's rep.

    "It is true, given all the work I've seen you guys doing under these conditions, you could definitely use a raise," he said, "Fighting Grimm even as a Hunter is difficult, fighting them off while farming? That's really tough. So yes, you're absolutely right. Under these conditions, you should get more money."

    The farm worker rep smirked in triumph, as Weiss balked. Blake smirked a little herself.

    "However," Jaune turned to the company rep, "The company isn't your enemy here. If they don't have the money and can't get supplies through, then that's the fault of the Grimm, not them. You both need eachother. Plain and simple. The company rep is a guy from your village-You're in this together, he's not some guy with no stakes in this at all."

    The company rep smirked nastily back at the farm worker rep. She glared back.

    "And both of you need to stop treating this like your own personal feud," Jaune went on, and both reps glared at him.

    "How dare you-!"

    "You little-!"

    "You're divorced," Jaune said blandly. The village mayor coughed, and shrugged as both reps glared at her.

    "He did ask about you two before we began," the mayor said.

    "So," Jaune said, "With that in mind? Let's work on figuring out what we can do about the current situation, in a way that we can all agree on. At least for the time being."

    As it turned out, the farming equipment all required one main component to function: An energy converter for Dust to electricity. Jaune had some of the worn out ones brought in. He handed them to Yang and Ruby.

    "You guys know motorcycles and engineering," he said, "Is there any way we can fix these?"

    "Hmm," Ruby hummed, "Maybe. The thing is, the conversion coils wear out and get warped over time. If we had a really strong magnetic field, we might be able to get them into some kind of working condition?"

    "It wouldn't be a long term fix," Yang warned, "But I've been able to keep Bumblebee running on refurbished converters for a few months longer than they would have lasted otherwise."

    Jaune turned to Pyrrha.

    "Pyrrha?"

    Happily, Pyrrha used her Semblance, with Ruby and Yang's guidance, to warp the coils back into some shape. They then went out to a tractor, and tested it out. The converter failed to start once, but the next time, the machine roared to life.

    "Okay," Jaune said, turning back to the mayor and the two reps, "If we can refurbish some converters for you, can you resume work long enough to get the supply chain going again?"

    The farm worker rep frowned, but slowly nodded her head.

    "I think we can," she said, side eyeing her ex-husband, "We'll have to go slow but it's doable."

    "Slow is better than nothing," the company rep agreed, "If you could do the same for a few of the supply trucks, we might be able to get some more from a trading outpost nearby?"

    Jaune looked at Pyrrha, who beamed.

    "Leave it to me, Jaune!"

    "All right," Jaune said with a warm smile, "I'd call that a done deal!"

    - - -

    Pyrrha worked very hard with Yang and Weiss to fix as many converters as possible. Blake and Weiss had helped out wherever they could, mostly by going on patrols around the village. On one such patrol, she went out with Jaune around the perimeter. They didn't say much until they got outside. Then...

    "You were... Surprising," Blake admitted.

    Jaune blinked.

    "Hm?"

    "Tonight," Blake said, "You stayed calm and in control the whole time. You found a solution to the problem."

    Jaune sighed and shook his head.

    "We bought them some time. Pyrrha, Yang and Ruby figured out the solution," he said, "It's temporary, and it doesn't solve a lot of their other problems-"

    "No, but it keeps people alive," Blake said quietly. "Isn't that the main priority?"

    Jaune stared at her for a long moment... Then he smiled. She found it in herself to smile back.

    "Yeah," he said.

    "I do have to ask," Blake continued, "How did you... Keep cool? Negotiate so well?"

    Jaune shrugged, scanning the horizon.

    "My dad's head of Radian's militia. We don't have a police department, just a Ranger station. They mainly deal with crimes outside the walls, so the militia has to handle a lot of disputes. Domestic stuff, whose cow tramples whose fence, stuff like that. My dad did a lot of conflict resolution, and brought my sisters and I along. My mom's a doctor and pretty well respected, too, so she handles stuff like that as well. And my sister Tanya? She's a really cutthroat businesswoman. She was trading in candy, toys and money since she was like, seven."

    "But you're... At Beacon, you're always so..." She trailed off.

    Jaune shrugged.

    "I guess... I feel more comfortable here," he admitted, "People living their lives, trying to sort crap out. I-I can't afford to be bumbling or a goof here." He smiled and shrugged. "I guess... Here I know how to be. At Beacon? Not a clue."

    "I think acting like this would be a good start," Blake said softly.

    "Really?" Jaune asked, blinking.

    "Definitely," Blake smiled. "Even if you don't know what you're doing, acting like you do? That can definitely make all the difference."

    Jaune nodded.

    "Maybe... Thanks Blake."

    "Any time."

    - - -

    That... Just sort of happened.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • 221443 said:
    You know we always see the "fearless" part and not the "leader" part of "fearless leader" jaune. This was a great look into his leadership style outside of combat.
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    Honestly, I feel like Ruby would constantly be tearing her hair out to get her team to do a lot of things given how independent they all are and how new at this Ruby is. Jaune is a bit older and more mature and took charge of his team from the start, and gained his team's trust.

    I just think Ruby having a character arc to demonstrate how she grows and changes and becomes a leader would have been neat, and showing Jaune good at it while she is still working to become a leader would have been a great juxtaposition.
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    I just think Ruby having a character arc to demonstrate how she grows and changes and becomes a leader would have been neat, and showing Jaune good at it while she is still working to become a leader would have been a great juxtaposition.
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    It does feel like most people forget to show that they're leaders outside of combat as well.
     
    RandomDragon said:
    Also would be great if juane helped ruby get comfortable enough to also start negotiating with her team…which would have helped allot in the longer run as well.
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    Yeah, exactly. Jaune's whole thing is that he sucks at combat. Ruby sucks at leadership. They help eachother get better at these things, and grow together! It would have been perfect! Because half the reason Jaune is so popular is because HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHARACTER ARC. Their own main character, the title character, RUBY, DOESN'T HAVE A CHARACTER ARC! She develops a little over a season and then she's reset back to the same quirky girl at the start! That's just terrible!

    Doing it might way ensures that both characters grow and change over time.
     
    A Pyrrhic Victory
  • Threadmarks
    • The world didn't make sense anymore. That was the one thought stuttering through pyrrha's mind.

    Being told of becoming a maiden, seeing the secret chamber under the school. Watching Cinder kill the woman in the pod.


    And then watching Cinder die. A cruel barbed black dagger being pushed through her throat from behind by a dear friend.

    Jaune: I think you've done enough.

    Pyrrha: Jaune? I dont- what's going--

    Ozpin: Mr.Arc, I believe you have some explaining to do.

    Jaune: Probably. But not to you.

    *A ominous black glow seeps from the blade in jaunes hand and spreads through cinders body eating away at it and turning it to ash.*

    Ozpin: what?

    Jaune: wondering where you're fancy little light show is? It's gone Oz. One maiden down.

    Ozpin: you foolish boy do you know what you just did?!

    *Jaune visibly angry*

    Jaune: I DID YOUR FUCKING JOB! You arrogant old sack of lies. If there's no maiden there's no key to the vault. If there's no key then there's no way to get to the relic.

    *Ozpin raises his cane*

    Ozpin: and where did you learn this info? From Salem? She can't be trusted! She's using you Mr.arc!

    Jaune: oh get over yourself, you think that you and your wife are the only people who can make plans, news flash oz, we're people not pawns.

    Pyrrha: I don't understand, did you lie to us? Lie to me?

    *Jaune glances at his partner clearly starting to have a breakdown*

    Jaune: I told no lie. My name is Jaune Arc, I'm from Radian. I became a huntsman even though my parents didn't want me to and gave me no huntsman training.

    *Jaunes eyes turn to Ozpin colder than ice*

    Jaune: I am Jaune Arc infiltration and assassination specialist of Radian. A town made up of people who have defected or descendants of people who have defected from these two immortal immoral assholes.
    I undertook a mission against my parents protest to enter beacon and destroy one of the maiden powers or relics.

    Ozpin: how?

    Jaune: another of your mistakes. You and your wife spent so long looking for ways to permanently kill each other, and when they didn't work you just forgot about them.

    *Jaune waves his ash covered knife around*

    Jaune: while they can't kill a immortal they work quite well against mortal magic.

    *Jaune starts wiping his knife off*

    Jaune: surprisingly cruel, or maybe not so surprising. To put a spell in a knife that makes the targets own magic eat itself in a disintegration spell that even breaks down the soul.

    *Jaune smiles. It's not a kind look*

    Ozpin: I can't let you leave here.

    Jaune: you also can't stop me.

    *Before Ozpin can do anything Jaune disappears in a flash of white*

    Pyrrha is alive, cinder didn't get the maiden magic, and Jaune didn't get hurt.

    Pyrrha is alone, the maiden magic is destroyed, and Jaune is gone.

    A true pyrrhic victory.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • AndrewJTalon said:
    But you're... At Beacon, you're always so..." She trailed off.

    Jaune shrugged.

    "I guess... I feel more comfortable here," he admitted, "People living their lives, trying to sort crap out. I-I can't afford to be bumbling or a goof here." He smiled and shrugged. "I guess... Here I know how to be. At Beacon? Not a clue."

    "I think acting like this would be a good start," Blake said softly.

    "Really?" Jaune asked, blinking.

    "Definitely," Blake smiled. "Even if you don't know what you're doing, acting like you do? That can definitely make all the difference."
    Click to expand...
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    I can't help but feel this argument should be inverted. Like the reason Jaune is so bumbling at school is because he's faking knowing what he's doing. Maybe even being forced to play up some of his goofiness, to play off his ignorance.
    Because if he's being Mr. Funnyman on purpose, then he's obviously not a fraud.

    But!
    Away from the crazy killer teens, who majority base a person's worth on fighting ability alone, he can relax into more comfortable version of himself.
    Like the "real" Jaune is a more serious and extremely goal focused young man (he did get his hands on some illegal docs to join a pseudo military base/school); and only in more normal down to earth sitches, can he show off skills he's actually cool and competent with. Like leadership.
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    - - -

    "Jaune Arc. Short, smooth, rolls off the tongue. Ladies love it."

    Weiss stared intensely at Jaune. Ruby blinked, looking between the two weird people she'd run into right off the airship at Beacon. The snooty heiress blinked a few times, then had a look of vulnerability on her face Ruby certainly wasn't expecting.

    "J-Jaune?" She asked. "Jaune Arc? Isabel's son?"

    Jaune blinked a few times back... Then grinned.

    "Weiss?"

    "Ha," Weiss smirked, "Could it be anyone else?"

    "I guess not," Jaune said with a grin, "Wow, made a new friend and found an old one! What are the odds?"

    "Eh?! You two know each other?" Ruby cried.

    "My mom's a doctor and did a lot of work for the Schnee family," Jaune explained, "And she dragged me along. I met Weiss and we played as kids."

    "It... It has been a while," Weiss admitted quietly. "So, um... You got into Beacon too? I thought your mother didn't want you to become a Huntsman?"

    "Er... I managed to talk her and Dad into it," Jaune admitted with a nervous laugh. "So! How are you? You look great!"

    "Ha, y-yes, of course I do," Weiss managed, just as nervous, "I'm fine."

    "How's your sister?"

    "She joined the military. Became a Specialist," Weiss explained. Jaune nodded.

    "That's amazing! She must be incredible."

    "She is," Weiss affirmed. She glanced at Ruby with a frown. "Friend of yours, huh?"

    "I'm Ruby Rose," Ruby introduced herself, scowling, "You're the one who blew me up with Dust!"

    Weiss sized her up carefully, before nodding.

    "Yes, well... Sorry about that," Weiss shrugged, "I suppose I should have been more careful."

    "Oh, um... That's okay," Ruby managed. Weiss nodded to Ruby, then seemed to forget her existence entirely as she flitted over to Jaune's side.

    "So! Tell me all about Radian! How's your family? Was the trip here difficult?"

    Feeling distinctly like a third wheel, Ruby nevertheless followed along with her new friend and his... Hanger on.

    - - -

    Initiation had been difficult, but honestly? A lot of fun! She got paired up with Pyrrha, and she was amazing! She wasn't called the Invincible Girl for nothing!

    Then they'd met up with Jaune and Weiss, and they'd beaten a giant Nevermore together! They were commissioned into their own team: Team JSPR, or "Jasper".

    She wasn't team leader, that was Jaune, but Ruby honestly didn't mind. She was happy to be on a team with two good friends, and... Weiss. Who wasn't... Horrible, but she was... Weird.

    "Jaune," Weiss said pleasantly, "I think we should put our beds together. When you were little, you did sleep better with someone with you."

    Jaune laughed a bit nervously.

    "Er... I got over that Weiss, but thank you," he said with a kind nod, "I appreciate it."

    "But I insist!" Weiss said urgently. "I-I mean, what if you roll out of bed and fall to the floor?"

    "I'm fine, really Weiss," Jaune emphasized with a kind smile. "I've grown up a lot since then, Promise."

    Pyrrha's smile became a bit more brittle at this.

    "I'm glad you're thinking about our team leader, Weiss," she said carefully, "But he is a Huntsman-in-training. He can handle himself." She beamed at Jaune. "Besides, we need to sleep so we can start training tomorrow!"

    "Eh? You want to train with me?" Jaune asked, blinking.

    "He's training with me!" Weiss said quickly, taking Jaune's arm. "After all, he's my partner!"

    "He's my team leader," Pyrrha stated, taking his other arm, "And I'm a regional champion."

    "How about we all train together?" Jaune suggested quickly. "We're a team, and we need to get better together."

    The two other girls stared intensely at one another, and Ruby swore she could see electricity crackling between their gazes despite their polite smiles.

    "Sure thing, Jaune," Weiss agreed. "You're right."

    "He absolutely is," Pyrrha said with a smile, "Well... Good night!"

    "Goodnight!" Weiss said cheerfully, her smile not quite meeting her eyes.

    The two women headed to their beds, still smiling... And both disrobing while casting looks over at Jaune. Jaune for his part turned bright red, as did Ruby.

    "Er, I can wait in the bathroom-"

    "Nonsense Jaune!" Weiss said with a smile, "We're teammates now. We must be comfortable with each other!"

    "Absolutely," Pyrrha said cheerfully, "Don't be afraid to look! We're all together now."

    Jaune sighed.

    - - -

    Later, Jaune and Ruby snuck out for a midnight snack... And Ruby sat him down.

    "So... Um... Weiss likes you?"

    Jaune sighed heavily.

    "Yeah," he shook his head. "She was a good friend growing up, really. But her family... It wasn't the best. Let's say she uh... Got attached to me."

    "Seriously," Ruby muttered. "And Pyrrha?"

    "Got me," Jaune shrugged, "I just was nice, but she's uh... She likes me too?"

    "And you? How do you feel about all this?" Ruby asked.

    "I mean, I like them both! Really!" Jaune said with a nod, "But I want to wait on romance until I'm... Ya know... Settled. Beacon's tough. Plus, we're a team. If a romantic relationship goes bad, it might get us all killed."

    "Wow, you've really put a lot of thought into this!" Ruby complimented him. Jaune smiled warmly back.

    "Thanks Ruby. I just... I care about all of you, and I don't want to screw things up."

    "I bet Weiss is just... Ya know... Really happy to see you. I'm sure she feels the same way and is just overwhelmed! But she'll calm down. I... I know what it's like to not have friends."

    Jaune smiled kindly, and squeezed Ruby's hand.

    "Not anymore you don't," he stated. Ruby blushed and beamed back at him.

    "Aw... Thanks Jaune."

    Jaune nodded back.

    "Any time."

    - - -

    They returned to the room. Weiss met them, looking worried.

    "Jaune? Ruby? Why were you out?" She asked.

    "Just getting a midnight snack Weiss, honest," Jaune said with a kind, honest smile. "Don't worry so much, okay?"

    "I... Of course," Weiss said with a nod. She beamed at him. "You're not the type to cheat!"

    Jaune and Ruby blinked.

    Weiss turned bright red.

    "O-On... Your sleep cycle... That's totally what I meant! Ahahaha!" Weiss laughed nervously.

    "Eheh, yeah," Jaune said with a wince. Ruby patted him on the shoulder.

    Or maybe she's just crazy, Ruby thought.

    - - -
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    Make. This. A. Story. I've been waiting years for someone to do a Whiteknight(Jaune X Weiss) Childhood Friend story it has so much Potential WHY HAS NO ONE ELSE THOUGHT OF ONE YET.
     
    The Pretend Boyfriend Snaps
  • Threadmarks
    • A common trope for fics is pretending to be someone's boyfriend/girlfriend for a whacky scheme. Usually a nice guy who won't take too much advantage of the situation. However, every man has his limit...

    - - -

    "Enough is enough, everyone!"

    Jaune glared at the collection of women he'd called to his dormroom, his arms crossed over his chest. Ruby, Yang, Pyrrha, Weiss, Blake, May Zedong, Cinder Fall, Penny, and even Professor Goodwitch were all present and staring back at him in a mixture of confusion, apathy, forced indifference, or a happy oblivious smile (Penny).

    Nora and Ren were off to the side, sharing a bucket of popcorn as they watched raptly.

    "Mister Arc," Glynda said calmly, "I don't know what you mean but you should be more respectful in your tone-"

    "I'M TIRED OF BEING YOUR FREAKING GIGOLO!" Jaune shouted angrily.

    Silence fell harder than a boxer indebted to the mob. All the women looked at each other, eyes narrowing.

    "Jaune, what do you mean?" Pyrrha asked slowly.

    "Oh like you don't know?!" Jaune demanded. "You started this whole thing! You insisted I pretend to be your boyfriend to keep the paparazzi off your back! I did that! That was fine!"

    "For shame, P-Money," Yang sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and Yang shrank back.

    "And then, you asked me to pose as your boyfriend for couples events at a club! Which we wrecked!"

    "It uh... It was fun though right?" Yang asked, laughing nervously as Goodwitch and Weiss glared.

    "How utterly repugnant, but expected of you, Xiao-Long," Weiss sniffed.

    "Oh like you can talk!" Jaune growled. "You dragged me off to those stupid social events!"

    "I-I needed something to get my father off my back," Weiss protested weakly, "And Sun wasn't interested so I couldn't even piss him off-"

    "Wow, that's pretty low, even for you," Blake deadpanned. Jaune stormed up to her and glared heatedly.

    "Don't get me started on you, Blake! Your mom keeps demanding to know why you aren't pregnant yet!"

    Blake flushed and tried to look innocent as everyone else glared at her.

    "Um... She needed reassurance after I became a terrorist and never spoke or wrote to her for two years?" She tried.

    "That is the worst," Ruby sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and she coughed. "Um... When I asked you to be my pretend boyfriend, Jaune, it was just practice, y-ya know? For the real thing? And you're my best friend and I trust you?"

    "That kind of gets you off the hook," Jaune stated, "If not for the fact you got me into a fight with Roman Torchwick. TWICE!"

    "He was stealing comic books, Jaune!" Ruby cried, "And Dust! He's an utter fiend!"

    "Hmph," Cinder sniffed, "At least I'm just pretend dating Jaune for non-nefarious reasons."

    "You're smuggling Dust," Jaune deadpanned. Cinder coughed.

    "F-For non-nefarious reasons!"

    "Honestly, I don't even know how much detention you've all earned," Goodwitch sighed. Jaune's glare turned to her.

    "When are we meeting your mother again, Professor? She still demanding grandkids?"

    Goodwitch coughed.

    Jaune turned his glare on Penny.

    "Penny, I was fine with going out as friends, but why do you keep telling everyone I'm your boyfriend?"

    "Is that not accurate, Friend-Jaune?" Penny asked, tilting her head, "You are a boy, and a friend. Thus, Boyfriend! Am I missing context? Is it because I am a perfectly normal human woman?"

    Jaune sighed, then turned his attention to May.

    "May, you..."

    He paused.

    "I... Don't think we are fake dating?"

    "Um, n-no," May said, blushing, "I was actually um, going to ask you out for real?"

    "Oh," Jaune muttered, "Um... That's cool-"

    "You can't do that!" Pyrrha cried. "W-We're... We're fake dating him!"

    "Yeah!" Ruby growled. "Go get your own real boyfriend!"

    "ENOUGH!" Jaune shouted. He glared sternly. "The point is... I was fine with helping you all out in a pinch. But I'm not just gonna be your fake boyfriend. May just wants to date me for me, she doesn't want to use me! So either this ends, or...!"

    He was going to think of an alternative, but... Ending all this nonsense was really all he had. There wasn't another option-

    "Or we all actually date him!" Penny said cheerfully.

    Jaune blinked.

    What.

    He winced, preparing for the onslaught of female violence... Waited... Waited some more...

    "Well," Ruby mused, "It would be nice to have a big family! Just like Dad, Mom, and Auntie Raven tried!"

    "Yeah, totally," Yang agreed.

    "I..." Pyrrha flushed. "I suppose... We could share. It would be the least we could do for Jaune, given how we've abused him."

    "I..." Weiss blushed. "I-I agree too! N-Not that I like him or anything, it would just be fair!"

    "Well... I'm not getting any younger," Glynda mused.

    "You're all a pack of utter degenerates," Cinder sniffed... Before smirking. "I can work with that."

    "Oh my," May mumbled, blushing brightly.

    "Just like in my fanfics," Blake sighed happily.

    "HOORAY!" Penny declared. "Let us enact the Harem Ending, Boyfriend-Jaune!"

    Jaune looked at the pack of ravenous women, and then to his other friends.

    "Uh... Ren? Nora?"

    "You're on your own, buddy," Ren stated firmly.

    "Good luck, Jaune-Jaune!" Nora said cheerfully. "We're rooting for you!"

    They then jumped out the window, leaving Jaune to his fate.

    - - -
     
  • Threadmarks
    • AndrewJTalon said:
    A common trope for fics is pretending to be someone's boyfriend/girlfriend for a whacky scheme. Usually a nice guy who won't take too much advantage of the situation. However, every man has his limit...

    - - -

    "Enough is enough, everyone!"

    Jaune glared at the collection of women he'd called to his dormroom, his arms crossed over his chest. Ruby, Yang, Pyrrha, Weiss, Blake, May Zedong, Cinder Fall, Penny, and even Professor Goodwitch were all present and staring back at him in a mixture of confusion, apathy, forced indifference, or a happy oblivious smile (Penny).

    Nora and Ren were off to the side, sharing a bucket of popcorn as they watched raptly.

    "Mister Arc," Glynda said calmly, "I don't know what you mean but you should be more respectful in your tone-"

    "I'M TIRED OF BEING YOUR FREAKING GIGOLO!" Jaune shouted angrily.

    Silence fell harder than a boxer indebted to the mob. All the women looked at each other, eyes narrowing.

    "Jaune, what do you mean?" Pyrrha asked slowly.

    "Oh like you don't know?!" Jaune demanded. "You started this whole thing! You insisted I pretend to be your boyfriend to keep the paparazzi off your back! I did that! That was fine!"

    "For shame, P-Money," Yang sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and Yang shrank back.

    "And then, you asked me to pose as your boyfriend for couples events at a club! Which we wrecked!"

    "It uh... It was fun though right?" Yang asked, laughing nervously as Goodwitch and Weiss glared.

    "How utterly repugnant, but expected of you, Xiao-Long," Weiss sniffed.

    "Oh like you can talk!" Jaune growled. "You dragged me off to those stupid social events!"

    "I-I needed something to get my father off my back," Weiss protested weakly, "And Sun wasn't interested so I couldn't even piss him off-"

    "Wow, that's pretty low, even for you," Blake deadpanned. Jaune stormed up to her and glared heatedly.

    "Don't get me started on you, Blake! Your mom keeps demanding to know why you aren't pregnant yet!"

    Blake flushed and tried to look innocent as everyone else glared at her.

    "Um... She needed reassurance after I became a terrorist and never spoke or wrote to her for two years?" She tried.

    "That is the worst," Ruby sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and she coughed. "Um... When I asked you to be my pretend boyfriend, Jaune, it was just practice, y-ya know? For the real thing? And you're my best friend and I trust you?"

    "That kind of gets you off the hook," Jaune stated, "If not for the fact you got me into a fight with Roman Torchwick. TWICE!"

    "He was stealing comic books, Jaune!" Ruby cried, "And Dust! He's an utter fiend!"

    "Hmph," Cinder sniffed, "At least I'm just pretend dating Jaune for non-nefarious reasons."

    "You're smuggling Dust," Jaune deadpanned. Cinder coughed.

    "F-For non-nefarious reasons!"

    "Honestly, I don't even know how much detention you've all earned," Goodwitch sighed. Jaune's glare turned to her.

    "When are we meeting your mother again, Professor? She still demanding grandkids?"

    Goodwitch coughed.

    Jaune turned his glare on Penny.

    "Penny, I was fine with going out as friends, but why do you keep telling everyone I'm your boyfriend?"

    "Is that not accurate, Friend-Jaune?" Penny asked, tilting her head, "You are a boy, and a friend. Thus, Boyfriend! Am I missing context? Is it because I am a perfectly normal human woman?"

    Jaune sighed, then turned his attention to May.

    "May, you..."

    He paused.

    "I... Don't think we are fake dating?"

    "Um, n-no," May said, blushing, "I was actually um, going to ask you out for real?"

    "Oh," Jaune muttered, "Um... That's cool-"

    "You can't do that!" Pyrrha cried. "W-We're... We're fake dating him!"

    "Yeah!" Ruby growled. "Go get your own real boyfriend!"

    "ENOUGH!" Jaune shouted. He glared sternly. "The point is... I was fine with helping you all out in a pinch. But I'm not just gonna be your fake boyfriend. May just wants to date me for me, she doesn't want to use me! So either this ends, or...!"

    He was going to think of an alternative, but... Ending all this nonsense was really all he had. There wasn't another option-

    "Or we all actually date him!" Penny said cheerfully.

    Jaune blinked.

    What.

    He winced, preparing for the onslaught of female violence... Waited... Waited some more...

    "Well," Ruby mused, "It would be nice to have a big family! Just like Dad, Mom, and Auntie Raven tried!"

    "Yeah, totally," Yang agreed.

    "I..." Pyrrha flushed. "I suppose... We could share. It would be the least we could do for Jaune, given how we've abused him."

    "I..." Weiss blushed. "I-I agree too! N-Not that I like him or anything, it would just be fair!"

    "Well... I'm not getting any younger," Glynda mused.

    "You're all a pack of utter degenerates," Cinder sniffed... Before smirking. "I can work with that."

    "Oh my," May mumbled, blushing brightly.

    "Just like in my fanfics," Blake sighed happily.

    "HOORAY!" Penny declared. "Let us enact the Harem Ending, Boyfriend-Jaune!"

    Jaune looked at the pack of ravenous women, and then to his other friends.

    "Uh... Ren? Nora?"

    "You're on your own, buddy," Ren stated firmly.

    "Good luck, Jaune-Jaune!" Nora said cheerfully. "We're rooting for you!"

    They then jumped out the window, leaving Jaune to his fate.

    - - -
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    while the ending ended with a implied Sexy times, the fact that this scenario of "Let's make the Nice Guy a fake boyfriend for some women and initiate Punching Bag mode time" sort of deal has you make this certain Nice Guy put his foot down? That is great and much needed catharsis! :D
     
    SharkCultist said:
    Cinder betrays Salem for Jaune because he has something she doesn't.

    Penis.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    given how Jaune is often described as "Golden Retriever in human form" I think that it is more accurate to say that Jaune offers stability, kindness and genuine like of you if you are a fake girlfriend. if you are a real girlfriend, enjoy getting some Jaune loving.


    that said, what if Jaune also manages to charm Salem into compliance?
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    "That is the worst," Ruby sniffed. Jaune glared at her, and she coughed. "Um... When I asked you to be my pretend boyfriend, Jaune, it was just practice, y-ya know? For the real thing? And you're my best friend and I trust you?"

    "That kind of gets you off the hook," Jaune stated, "If not for the fact you got me into a fight with Roman Torchwick. TWICE!"

    "He was stealing comic books, Jaune!" Ruby cried, "And Dust! He's an utter fiend!"
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    As soon as Roman starts stealing cookies, he'll be upgraded to crimes against humanity.... :V
     
    SharkCultist said:
    The evil(er) version of cards against humanity
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    ah yes...the cards against humanity where you either laugh or cry or stand in silence...

    having a situation like that happen is a amusing thought process.

    As well as ruby having the worst war-crimes in remnant in her draw-hands...innocent little girl? Nope, she is a weapons nut and a murder-blender...she is basically Canadian at this point, and would innocently suggest all those war crimes before saying sorry.
     
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