You know, I like to imagine that once Jaune came out of the Ever After, he lost any sense of a filter. The man will say what he think when he thinks it.
Not because of any of the Afterains, but because he stopped giving a shit a long time ago.
Jaune's essentially an old man who stopped giving a fuck about what all the youngsters around him think and he's damn well going to make that clear.
(Basically he becomes a blond male Maria.)
At Vacuo...
Blake: "Blah blah blah Faunus rights blah feminism blah we're lesbians!"
Ruby: "Blah blah blah I've been reset again so cookies and adventure yay!"
Oscar: Blah blah blah glad you're safe blah blah Salem blah..."
Glynda: "Blah blah blah refugee crisis blah blah blah let's spend time on a sidequest about how people hate refugees despite it being entirely divorced from the real world context blah-"
Jaune: "ENOUGH!"
He points at Ruby "No more abusing my best friend!"
Points at Oscar "No more shitty fortune cookie platitudes from the possessed Twink!"
Oscar: "Hey!"
Jaune:
points at Glynda "No more shitty political commentary!"
Glynda: "I-!"
Jaune:
points at Blake and Yang "AND NO MORE OF YOUR STUPID MELODRAMA! YOU'RE LESBIANS! BIG FUCKING WHOOP! GOOD FOR YOU!"
Oscar: "But-You-I-!"
Jaune: "Hey, listen: Who has a Semblance that lets him never run out of Aura but also boost everyone else's to make them unstoppable? ME. Who has been fighting in a weirdass other dimension for twenty years refining it and his combat skills? ME. Who knows how to access said other dimension to finally kill Salem dead? ME."
Oscar: "But I've been fighting Salem for centuries-"
Jaune: "AND YOU'VE LOST. ALL THE TIME. So, you can either waste more time on BULLSHIT for a full volume, or we can call out Salem now and END HER SHIT. What's it gonna be?"
Ruby: "... I'm in!"
Weiss: "Hell yes."
Blake: "I am
not melodramatic and you should care-"
Yang: "We both say yes!"
Glynda: "... Hell yes, Mister Arc."
Jaune: "GOOD! Nora?"
Nora: "Yes Captain?"
Jaune: "Ren?"
Ren: "Yes?"
Jaune: "Get me a Scroll. We're ending this bullshit."
Meanwhile, in Salem's Leviathan...
Salem: "What the... Who is calling-?"
Jaune: "
Hey Salem! Ozma says you were frigid and your goth phase was lame. Didn't make you hotter, you just wanted attention."
Salem: "Why you-?!"
Jaune:
"Come and get us, bitch! Rusted Knight, SIGNING OFF!"
Salem: "What in the...?! Ooh! Cinder! We're killing them all!"
Cinder: "Yes My Queen!"
They arrive at Vacuo... And a massive yellow Aura Slash erupts from the city and cuts the Leviathan in half. Salem and Cinder fall and land on the ground.
Salem: "... The FUCK?! Who has the balls-?!"
Jaune: "ME. I'm here to finally end your stupid ass!"
Salem: "HA! You and what army?"
A truly massive army of everyone left arrives, all supercharged thanks to Jaune's Semblance.
Salem: "Yes well, I have an army of Grimm-!"
Ruby unleashes her Silver Eyes, Supercharged, and every Grimm for miles is evaporated. Salem is badly hurt and shaking.
Salem: "... Um..."
Holds Cinder in front of her "IT WAS ALL HER IDEA!"
Cinder: "WHAT?!"
Salem: "Medamnit I'm using your plot armor for me!"
Cinder: "YOU BITCH!"
Needless to say, after enough violence, Salem is persuaded to go into the Ever After to the Tree to die, Cinder is killed horribly, and all ends well.
Jaune: "Good! Now... I'm going home and I'm gonna sleep for the next ten years."
Ruby: "With me in your bed?"
Weiss: "I'm going with him!"
Yang: "Like hell! Just broke up with Blake and I'm getting a happy ending!"
Blake: "Not if I do it first! I'm a goddamned cat girl ninja princess, I deserve a happy ending!"
Ruby: "NOW YOU'RE FINE WITH GENDER ROLES?!"
Jaune:
groans "I'll marry all four of you if you'll just SHUT UP?!"
RWBY: "... Okay!"
Glynda: "Um, Mister Arc-"
Jaune: "Fine, you too Miss Goodwitch."
Glynda: "That's not what I was going to..."
stops "You know what? Sure."
Jaune: "GOOD! Nora, Ren? Card games after?"
Nora: "Strip poker, usual rules?"
Jaune: "Yes."
Nora: "WOOHOO!"
And they lived happily ever after...
- - -
Again, total crack, don't take seriously.