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Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Xanadu, Nov 18, 2020.

  1. Threadmarks: 1

    Xanadu Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

    Oct 25, 2018
    Likes Received:
    It started when I was six.

    There had always been something a bit different about me, I was a precocious child to be sure, and often had tastes that seemed strange and seemingly arbitrary.

    For example, when it came time to get my sunglasses, something of a minor rite of passage in the Aburame Clan, I instead insisted on a small mask that covered from the top of my nose to above my eyebrows. The mask resembled a blindfold, though the material was actually see-through.

    Despite it making me look as though I were blind, I liked it felt right and the mask made me feel assured, more comfortable in my own skin.

    Though the real change began on my sixth birthday when I began training in clan techniques. It was a special birthday in more ways than one.
    It was like a fog lifting, everything became clear.

    A whole life flashed before my eyes. It was my life, or at least my previous life. It was extremely disorienting, one minute I'm Shimi Aburame practicing with her kikaichu then suddenly I’m Taylor Hebert.

    It all flashed through my mind the Undersiders, Leviathan, Coil, Alexandria, Chicago, the Nine, Scion, Contessa. I collapsed, unable to understand what my concerned father is saying. My kikaichu went wild and isn’t that interesting from an outside perspective. Bugs that could drain a person’s life force living in my body. Everything became as strange as it had once been familiar.

    I saw the Entities, I saw the locker, the bank, Dragon, Defiant. It all flashed through my brain, 18 years of life, experience, love, loss, triumph, and pain are jammed into my six-year-old brain. Shinobi, chakra, the village it all became recontextualized. I saw the forested area I'm in through a thousand eyes. Then as quickly as it had begun it was over.
    All things considered, I think I handled it pretty well.

    “Shimi, Shimi are you okay? Answer me please.”, I tilted my head towards the voice. Shibi Aburame stared back, concern evident on his normally stoic face. ‘This was my father’ I thought to myself, a second father but a father nonetheless.

    While his tanned skin and spiky hair were different from Danny Hebert's, the love in his eyes was a welcome and familiar sight.

    “I’m fine dad, it's just something weird just happened,” I said. Deciding to only tell some of the truth, “It was as if I had a thousand eyes, I could see from so many directions. I think I was seeing through my kikaichu.”

    His eyes widen almost imperceptibly behind his dark reflective lenses. ‘I hope that’s not a big deal’


    It was a big deal. It turns out that Aburame couldn’t use their insect’s senses directly. Instead using individual bugs like scouts that would fly back and relay the information. Needless to say a six-year-old happening upon a technique that would allow them to have limited omniscience, the news spread quickly.

    After returning home to the Aburame compound, located near a patch of woods on the side of the village. My father began to tell other clan members of what had happened during my first training session.

    That was how I found myself in front of a small panel of elders, dad being the clan head was on it but there were also two others, Mushi and Suzume Aburame. The first a middle-aged man with white starting to creep into his straight brown hair going well with his stern visage, while Suzume was even older with her hair grey and put up into a ponytail and was the only one in the room without any eye coverings letting her bright yellow eyes shine through.

    “So,” said Mushi “your father claims you may have unlocked some new jutsu, please describe it.” His stern gaze might have bothered Shimi Aburame but I wasn’t just Shimi anymore.

    “It was as if I was in thousands of bodies at once seeing the world in the way every one of my kikaichu does, at once.”, my reply seemed to intrigue them.

    “Well let’s see it then,” said Suzume, a small smile forming on her otherwise impassive face, “perhaps a technique such as this might get those hyuga to shut up for once, why? Because they would no longer be the only ones to see everywhere.”

    An amused hum went up among the panel members. Suzume pulled out two scrolls from the sleeve of her kimono.
    She turned to me, “I shall go to another room and write something upon this scroll, I would like you to write it down on the other scroll, do you think you can do that.”

    I nodded quickly, it seemed that despite my memories of a past life at heart I was still a six-year-old and eager to please.
    Suzume stood up and gracefully exited the room. As her footsteps echoed through the hall my father turned to me. “Shimi go ahead and start”

    My chakra came alive, thrumming through my veins as I commanded one of my beetles to fly from my hand. It was strange how normal it felt to be essentially a living hive, but the kikaichu were simply another part of me. Remember the feeling of it before my consciousness spread out, the senses every member of my swarm poured in.

    It might have overwhelmed someone else, but I had once commanded much larger swarms. I focused on the kikaichu in the room with Suzume. She had drawn the symbol of the hidden leaf village alongside the kanji for “Beetle”.

    I copied it down and turned to my father and Mushi, “I’m finished”

    “Alright,” said my father raising his voice “Suzume could you please return to the room”

    Suzume returned, holding a scroll with the exact same thing I had written on mine. “It seems,” she said looking over my scroll “that the results speak for themselves. It seems we will have to test this ability further” She turned to me the small smile returning to her face, a playful look in her ''and work on your handwriting.”

    My father and the elders began to talk about the implications of my ability, whether it could be taught, and how I should be handled. Mushi wondered aloud if I might be a prodigy of some sort.

    “I don’t think it matters,” dad said, “considering the Uchiha incident the atmosphere of the village would not be right for another prodigy, besides we don’t want Shimi to draw too much attention yet, why? Because there might be other interested parties”

    This caught my attention it seemed there was intrigue afoot. Seeming to read my thoughts dad turned to me and sent me to bed. Promising to continue training the next day.

    “Go and rest tomorrow your training begins in earnest.”

    I left, though still curious I planted a kikaichu in the corner. As I tucked myself into bed, I opened up the connection. The room came into focus for a few brief seconds before the kikaichu was snatched up by my father.

    “Very clever Shimi, but this is a private conversation. It’s time for you to go to sleep.”, and with that, the Beetle was set outside the room.

    Deciding not to spy on the three experienced ninjas who knew exactly how I would do it, my head hit the pillow and the exhaustion caught up with me. I quickly drifted off, dreaming of dancing beetles.
    So my training began in earnest though it was as much for the benefit of the clan as it was for me.

    Every detail of the technique the clan had dubbed Secret Technique: Hive Mind was parsed out. Such as how it gave me a sense of exactly where each individual member of my swarm was and how Genjutsu could be used on my bugs to affect me while the technique was in effect. Which was a particularly irritating discovery.

    Eventually, I returned to the Academy. The cognitive dissonance of going to an institution designed to unapologetically crank out child soldiers clashed with my own personal childish excitement at getting to learn cool ninja stuff.

    Of course, school is still school and kids are still kids. The academy itself was surprisingly laid back, if you took away the taijutsu and weapons practice along with some of the clear indoctrination methods it would be a totally normal school.

    Of course, that meant that there were bullies. My memories from before getting my previous memories back didn’t really feature it but looking on with fresh eyes there was a clear hierarchy, with clan kids at the top and the rest decided by skill and popularity.

    Firmly at the bottom was Naruto Uzumaki, who was consistently mocked and scorned. Not just by the kids but just about everyone he encountered. In a way that was disturbingly familiar.

    It was a beautiful sunny day, with clear skies and a nice breeze a perfect day to read through recess, unfortunately, there were troublemakers to contend with.

    “Get out of here we don't want to play with you” “Yeah you're just a loser”, the two kids whose names I couldn’t remember continued to rag on Naruto who despite being a goofy airhead deserved none of this.

    After a minute my self-control broke. I sent a couple of kikaichu across the yard and had them land on the lead boy's face.
    “AAAAHHH, GET IT OFF” the boy flailed around in a panic, some of his buddies laughed they stopped when the bugs flew off him and at them.

    I returned to my book mentally guiding the kikaichu while making myself look as innocent as possible.

    It must not have worked as Shikamaru, who at the tender age of six and a half was already shaping up to be a slacker, walked past. Looking at the panicking morons he smirked at me, “Nice one”.

    “I’m not sure what you mean” I responded, “I’ve just been reading”

    He gave me a shrug and a look that screamed ‘sure you were’, sat under a tree, and immediately fell asleep.
    I was 10 when I saw it. I was passing by one of the training yards taking a shortcut to the Aburame compound when the sound of metal on metal caught my attention.

    I sent out some of my bugs to investigate and what I saw captivated me.

    Two chunin, by the look of them, going toe to toe katanas in hand striking blade upon blade. The grace, the power it called to me. There was only one course of action for me.

    I was a bit embarrassed at first when I began to beg my father for sword lessons. I had been an adult, a feared and respected parahuman and now I was begging my dad for a sword because I thought it was cool.

    The feeling evaporated when he agreed. He took me to a closet in his room and pulled out a katana with a grey scabbard and black cloth wrapped handle.

    “This was your mother's,” he said, causing my eyes to widen in surprise. The subject of my mother here was as much a taboo here as it had been on Earth Bet, with Shibi only giving vague answers of changing the subject. “You will have your lessons, and when you are ready you will carry your mother’s blade with pride” his voice thick with emotion.

    I pulled him into as tight a hug as I could silently vowing not to fail this father like I had the last.
    I was kept busy during my last two years at the academy between clan practice, sword practice with a non-descript Jonin named Giyu, and class. The clan had long since decided that I was some sort of genius in terms of clan techniques, it seems I have a talent for controlling insects, who knew?

    On my 11th Birthday, my father decided to teach me two non-clan techniques as a reward for my rapid progress. The Transparent Escape Technique which essentially made you invisible and the Body Flicker Technique which was a short burst of very high speed.

    Unsurprisingly these were a lot harder to master than the clan techniques I had been learning up to this point and combined they took me two months to really master.

    As graduation got closer and closer my father sat me down at the dinner table “It’s time we talk”, he said “soon you will be a shinobi and it will not be an easy path. You need to understand that.”

    “I do dad, I’m ready to do the work. I’ll become a great shinobi.”

    “I know that, why? Because my daughter is wonderfully talented.”

    As preen under the praise he continues, “However, should you ever feel as though you can’t handle it you come to me, alright?"

    “Alright dad, I promise.” and I would do it. It was no big mystery that a lack of communication had ruined my last father-daughter relationship. This time I would be better, I had to be.
    The graduation test itself was easy, a written test, some hand to hand, and target practice. The three jutsu performed at the end were also simple. The clone jutsu especially since I had already mastered a more advanced version.

    “Congratulations, you passed,” said Iruka, handing me the navy blue headband ” Makes sure to complete your registration form and be in class at 7:00 AM for team assignments”

    I gave a quick bow and thanked them before walking out leaving him and Mizuki to test the next person. As I walked out of the academy I looked back then down at the headband, still in my hand.

    Pride welled up inside. ‘Don't get too excited’ I thought to myself, ‘You've still got a long way to go.’

    Awaiting for me at home was a small celebratory dinner with my father and a couple of others including Suzume and Mushi. Congratulations were given. Suzume oohed and aahed over my headband and prodded me on what I would wear as my official ninja gear. Mushi gripped over how dad should have let me graduate early.

    A warm feeling of contentment spread, this, this right was worth protecting.
    It was early in the morning as I looked in the mirror admiring my reflection. A new sleeker eye mask, this one able to block out glare. My dark green-brown hoodie, sleek black cargo pants, and shin guards. On my arms were dull metal gauntlets. I had my headband tied around my right arm, and a katana, though not my mother's, strapped to my back.

    I had taken my long black hair and worked it into a bun. Keeping out of the way in combat.

    I looked good and was ready to take on this world of shinobi.

    I arrived early taking a spot in the back and enjoying the quiet. It didn’t last as newly minted genin poured into the room. Sighing, I pulled out a book on the third shinobi war and tuned out the crowd.

    About twenty minutes later Iruka arrived holding a clipboard and began announcing the teams.

    “Team 8 Hinata Hyuga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shimi Aburame. Lead by Kurenai Yuhi”

    “Aw man why do I have to be with the creepy girl”, complained Kiba as if being on a team with a loudmouth like him was gonna be such a dream. ‘Though’ I thought to myself ‘what are the chances I end up on two teams with aggressive dog owners.’

    Our sensei, a slender woman with red eyes wearing a short red dress covered in bandages, led us out of the room and out to one of the training fields.

    “Alright,” she said “My name is Kurenai Yuhi, I will be your Jonin Sensei. I hope to teach you guys a lot, now how about you introduce yourselves.”

    “I’m Kiba, this is Akamaru,” he said, giving the dog in question a pat while it ‘ruffed’ “I'm gonna be the strongest Inuzuka ever” he declared, crossing his arms and giving a smug grin. He looked around as if daring anyone to challenge his statement.

    Kurenai nodded “Okay and how about you” turning her attention to Hinata who seemed to be trying to look as invisible as possible.

    “I-I’m Hinata Hyuga, I hope we can all get along”

    I guess it’s my turn, “I’m Shimi Aburame, pleased to meet you”

    Seemingly satisfied, Kurenai moved on “Okay then, now that the introductions are out of the way let’s get right down to it. Today we will be doing your Genin test.”

    “Hey sensei what are you talking about we already did that.”, said Kiba with Akamaru barking in agreement.

    “No, that was the preliminary test, just the basics. Jonin sensei give their students their own test and if they fail they get sent back to the academy.” Kurenai stated calmly, a hint of amusement in her eyes.

    “That’s ridiculous!” shouted Kiba looking agitated.

    “Regardless of what you think, that’s how it is. Now here is the goal” Kurenai said, pulling out a red rubber ball about the size of a softball. “I’ve hidden three of these around the training grounds, you have an hour to find them.” She explained letting each of them hold the ball. “I will chase you trying to prevent you from getting the balls, if you can’t find the balls in time you get sent back to the academy.”

    All three of us readied ourselves, this was it.


    The three of us scattered.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2020
  2. Stormbringer117

    Stormbringer117 Soulless

    Aug 10, 2016
    Likes Received:
    I’m always down for an Aburame Taylor fanfic.

    Although the title of Shimi made me think Anakin’s mother and star wars.

    Maybe change the title to add more information, like:

    Naruto X Worm - Shimi(Taylor) Aburame

    Efficient and to the point without a chance for miscommunications.
  3. Aleh

    Aleh Destroyer of Faith in Humanity

    Feb 20, 2014
    Likes Received:
    So, first thing I noticed was that your punctuation, particularly of dialogue needed work. I then noticed that you mixed tenses rather a lot. Since this is an interesting enough basic idea, I need something to help me go to sleep, and those are not the only issues with your prose, I've gone through the first scene or so to highlight some of what I saw:

    First off, the list needs to be set out from the rest of the sentence. I used a colon, but a dash would work as well (albeit with a very slightly different meaning). Similarly, your punctuation and formatting of the list grammatically indicates that it's a complete list, and it's blatantly not (unless you deliberately meant to leave out, oh, Emma, the Fallen, Danny...). The minimal needed adjustment was changing the final period to an ellipsis.

    You also left out the "and" which would be needed before "Contessa" with the list punctuated as is... but that would make this even more explicitly a complete list, and, as I noted, that's obviously not what you intended. The next paragraph only makes this more explicit:

    Leaving out the list issue (it's the same one), you had a couple of run-on sentences that needed to be broken up, and mixed your tenses several times.

    Also, commas again.

    "Bugs that..." above is a sentence fragment. It doesn't stand on its own, so I've attached it to the previous sentence. Also, you mixed tenses there.

    You left out the comma needed to address Shibi's question, and a further comma is needed in the following sentence. You also had an extraneous comma following the quote.

    Later, you used single rather than double quotes for Taylor/Shimi's thoughts (this is grammatically incorrect) and left out the comma that was necessary to tie the quote to the relevant tag.

    Again, commas are needed in direct address (e.g. the "dad" above). Also, a run-on sentence.

    The larger issue here is with the false tag I highlighted -- which simply doesn't grammatically work and needs to be rewritten to actually have a grammatical subject. The simple sentence, "I decided to only tell some of the truth." works. Note that this removes the comma and separates it from the following quote -- it's possible to rework it into something that can remain attached, but that involves further editing, as that simply isn't a valid tag as-is (the quote and the beat describe separate, if connected, actions).

    You mixed tenses again here, and you left out the closing period. Also, those should be double quotes -- preferably with a tag to indicate that the sentence is Taylor/Shimi's thoughts rather than a quote from Shibi.

    Or you could rewrite the previous sentence to change the subject (e.g. "I saw his eyes widen almost..."), in which case the sentence would grammatically attach to Taylor/Shimi rather than Shibi... which is what they do at present.

    I... kinda need to go to sleep right now, and so simply don't have time tonight to go back over the rest of this, but I'll try to continue in the morning if you want me to.

    Basically, though, you kinda need a proofreader. I can do a chapter or two, maybe, but please don't count on me in the longer term.
  4. Edifier

    Edifier Trusted within thoughts.

    Aug 31, 2017
    Likes Received:
    This is an awesome introduction chapter!
    Gigler likes this.
  5. Threadmarks: 2

    Xanadu Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

    Oct 25, 2018
    Likes Received:
    ---Kurenai POV---

    As soon the words leave my mouth they’re off. Landing in the trees Shimi turns to her teammates “We should stick together on this, no telling what she’ll do to slow us-and he’s gone”

    Indeed Kiba had taken off in the middle of Shimi’s sentence, ‘recklessness is to be expected from fresh Genin though, let’s see how he handles himself.’

    Kiba was already making a beeline for the ball she had hidden on the left edge of the forest, near the roots of a, particularly large oak tree. ‘Not bothering to check for traps eh, not entirely surprising given his test grades and personality’

    Unsurprisingly Kiba got tangled up in ninja wire pretty quickly. He cursed loudly and began cutting himself out with a kunai. As soon as he was free he formed the tiger seal.

    His nails became longer and clawlike, his teeth became longer and sharper, and his brown hair became even more spikey. He dropped onto all fours as a growl escaping his lips. His ninken barking out to him.

    ‘So that's the famous All Fours Technique, good maybe he’ll take this more seriously. Maybe show a bit of caution.’ These hopes were immediately dashed as he once again charged straight towards the ball, apparently not having learned his lesson the first time.

    I sighed to myself ‘I wonder how the others are doing’ the two shadow clones I had following them would be enough for observation for now. Right now, it was time to make sure Kiba didn’t blow himself up.

    ---Kiba POV---
    Akamaru was getting agitated, me? I was pissed. ‘This is ridiculous, how many traps does one person need’ I thought to myself, avoiding what seems like the 100th pit trap. Why did I even need to do this, Sensei should have tested my fighting skills.

    I was already the best ninja on my team. ‘With competition like nervous-girl and creepy-girl how could I not be.’

    A bark from Akamaru brings me to a stop, I sniff the air. “So you finally gonna face me, Sensei. Guess you realized those traps wouldn’t slow me down.” Silence greets me.

    ‘Judging by her scent she’s right… There!’ I send three kunai flying right where Kurenai should be. A clang tells me I’ve hit something. A smirk tugs at my lips. ‘Better go check on Sensei, make sure she’s not to hurt.’

    I jump towards where I’d thrown but instead of a sensei, I find a wooden log. ‘I’m sure she was here, did I miss?’

    Suddenly a figure explodes from the bushes. I whirl around to see a grizzled bald man with wicked scars on his tanned face holding a jagged sword in his hands. Konoha Headband on his head, but with the leaf simply crossed off.

    ‘What the hell is a missing-nin doing here?’ I wonder.

    “Well, well, well what do we have here, a brat pretending to be a ninja,” he says chuckling menacingly.
    I growl sinking into my stance, “You’re gonna eat your words traitor! Akamaru come on!” in a burst of speed we are on him.

    ---Kurenai POV---

    I let out a sigh, ‘Do the Inuzuka not teach their kids about Genjutsu’ I wonder watching as Kiba engages in a fierce battle with the shrubbery, chasing an opponent who doesn’t exist.

    He’s got talent but he needs a cooler head if he wants to get anywhere’ I jump down from the branch I was perched on. ‘Let’s see how long it takes him to release he’s trapped in an illusion.’

    ---Shimi POV---

    Though Kiba had ditched us, Hinata had been willing to stay with me. We found a ball quickly enough, between her Byakugan and my Hive Mind finding it and disarming the traps around it was simple.

    We raced through the trees on the lookout for another ball, “S-Shimi I see another one at 11 o'clock about 30 meters out.” I nodded at Hinata, “Good work”, I said back “let’s head over and get it, then we’ll regroup with Kiba, see if he’s had any luck.

    As we approach I send out a small wave of Kikaichu, ‘huh no traps, that I can sense’, a bad feeling sets in. I turn towards my teammate holding up my hands to indicate that we’re stopping. Landing on a branch I ask her “Do you see any kind of traps at all.”

    The perplexed “N-no?” I get in response only makes my instincts scream louder.

    “This doesn’t feel right, why? Because the previous ball was heavily trapped the fact that this one seems to just be out in the open is suspicious.”

    Hinata nodded eyes widening as she realized what I was getting at.

    “You’re sharp”, came Kurenai’s voice.

    The two of us whipped around as quickly as possible, but not quickly enough. Vines erupted from the earth wrapping tight around Hinata and I, keeping us firmly in place.

    There was a ripple on the tree in front of us and Kurenai sensei rose up from the tree, pushing off and landing in front of us.

    “Not bad you two, but this is as far as you go.”

    Hinata’s Byakugan activated, she looked briefly confused before coming to a realization. “It’s an illusion” she cried “We’re under Genjutsu.”

    Cursing myself for having not noticed, especially with all my Genjutsu escape training. I flared my chakra, suddenly the vines were gone. Glancing over I saw that Hinata had done the same.

    Kurenai gave us a bemused look, “If you want to be shinobi you're gonna have to get past me.”

    I shared a look with Hinata, she gave me a nod. In a burst of motion, we attacked the Jonin. ‘She is on a completely different level than us, so holding back is probably not an option.’ This in mind drew my sword and tried to swing by her right side, while Hinata tried to close the gap to get in close.

    Kurenai simply Body Flickered away from my teammate appearing before me, kunai in hand. Meeting my blade with hers she stopped my sword cold and gave me a curious look. “I’ve never seen an Aburame with a sword, how are you supposed to use clan techniques with your hands occupied?”

    My mouth opens, but instead of any verbal response, a swarm of Kikaichu fly out of my mouth taking my teacher by surprise. She leaped backward shaking off the beetles.

    Hinata does a double-take at the insects that just flew out of my body before steadying herself and jumping forward to press the advantage. Still dealing with my Kikaichu, Kurenai didn’t see the Gentle Fist coming.

    With a precision strike to the chest Kurenai was thrown back, then suddenly she burst into white smoke leaving only a log behind. ‘Damn, a replacement jutsu.’ I thought before realizing that the path before us was now clear.

    “Hinata the ball” I shouted surging forward, “Shimi wait!” Hinata cried, suddenly the ground collapsed beneath me. ‘Did she build a pit trap during the fight? Were we fighting a clone or something?'

    Then Hinata’s hand shot out grabbing my wrist and pulling me back before I could fall in. We fell back on our butts.

    We were both breathing heavy breaths, the fight had been brief but intense. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as a part of me seems to reawaken. It was like greeting an old friend, the rush of combat.

    “Thanks Hinata,” I said, “I would not have liked falling in.”

    “N-no problem”, she replied “that’s what teammates are for”

    Teammates, Kiba, damn how could I have forgotten that?

    “Speaking of Teammates, we might need our third one seeing as us two aren’t getting past her why? Because she is a Jonin and out of our league.”

    I didn’t think we’d get past her even with our full team but it would be better than nothing.

    As if to punctuate my statement a flurry of shuriken flew out from ahead of us, forcing us back. I turned around to head back towards the clearing where we’d started. “Alright, so we have about 40 minutes left, let's find Kiba and come up with a plan.”

    Hinata gave a quick nod before we both poured on the speed.

    ---Kiba POV---
    One moment I was defeating the rogue ninja the next I was waking up. As I blinked my eyes open I saw Hinata leaning over me with a concerned look on her face and Shimi further back who seemed to be keeping guard.

    Akamaru gave a happy bark and jumped onto my chest, realizing what was going on I said “Wait was I-”
    “Under a Genjutsu, yup.” Came the reply from the Aburame.

    I could feel my face heating up, dammit I can't believe I managed to embarrass myself like this. I didn’t even have the ball yet.

    “Don’t feel too bad” said Shimi her cloth-covered eyes seemingly peering into mine, “I think our sensei might have a Genjutsu specialty, she got us too and we never would have noticed if not for Hinata’s Byakugan”

    Hinata’s cheeks flushed a bit at the praise.

    “So what do we do now,” I asked, realizing this test would be more difficult than I’d first thought.

    “Well first we need to get the ball near here, Sensei is guarding the third ball, but,” she said, fixing her gaze on Akamaru, “I think I might have a plan for that.”

    ---Kurenai POV---

    As I landed in the clearing where this test had begun, the three Academy Graduates tense up readying themselves.

    “Hey” yelled Kiba pointing a finger at me “what the hell was all that genjutsu crap, what kind of cowardly tactic is that anyway!”

    “We’re ninjas, we fight to win,” I replied, smoothly drawing out a kunai.

    “On that,” said Shimi, frustration creeping into her tone “we agree.” kikaichu began flowing out from her hands and parts of her face until a swarm three times her own size swirled around her.

    “Remember, just like we planned!” Shimi yelled as she drew her sword. Her swarm shot forward as she did surging in front of her. ‘Oh? They’re working as a team now?’

    As Shimi’s swarm approaches, I leap up into the air, my hand blurring through signs. ‘Fire Style: Flame Pillar’. A Stream of flame emerges from my mouth burning some of the swarm and forcing the rest to move out the way.

    Thick smoke from the flames briefly fills the air. Then from some emerges Shimi katana swinging towards me, kikaichu swirling around her.

    I move forward to meet her kunai raised blocking her blade. Her bugs attempt to swarm me but the second they get close I body flicker behind her.

    ---Third Person POV---

    The smoke clears and reveals Kurenai holding a kunai to Shimi’s throat.

    “So where’s this plan of yours?” asked the Jonin.

    Kiba gave a fierce grin and looked over at Hinata who nodded back at him then to Shimi who said, “It begins now.” Then promptly dissolved into a swarm of bugs.

    ‘She’s already mastered the insect clone?’ thought Kurenai, quickly moving away from the insects, though not before a couple of dozen bugs managed to latch onto her. ‘As long as these bugs are on me I’ll lose more and more chakra.’

    Kurenai attempted to remove them but before she could, “Got you now sensei!!!” exclaimed Kiba as he sped towards Kurenai Akamaru close behind, his speed enhanced by the all fours technique. Kurenai quickly fell back only to have the Chakra point in her left wrist blocked when Hinata burst onto the scene.

    Jumping high into the air to escape, Kurenai was again forced to twist out of the way when another swarm of beetles directed at her by Shimi. She landed swatting several of the kikaichu while doing so.
    ‘They’ve actually managed to wear me down a little.’

    “So Hinata blocked off the chakra in my hands, I assume that's to keep me from using Genjutsu?” she asked.

    “Hell yeah it is no hand means no hand signs, no jutsu. How do you like our plan now, teach?” Kiba yelled excitedly readying himself for his next attack.

    “It’s good except for the part where you're wrong.”, she replied quickly raising two on her right hand. A burst of chakra as the genjutsu took its effect. This particular one doing away with subtlety instead, giving all three teammates intense vertigo with gravity seeming to intensify. The genin dropped to the ground, struggling to move.

    Despite knowing they were in genjutsu none of them could do anything, Kurenai overpowering their attempts to break the illusion.

    “You did well,” Kurenai said,” good planning, good teamwork, but you lost sight of your goal. The mission was to retrieve three red balls; you only have two.”

    Shimi stumbled to her feet shakily standing despite the genjutsu, “I could say something similar to you sensei.” she said, trying not to vomit.

    “Oh do tell” replied Kurenai curious as to what she would say.

    “You were so focused on us you didn’t notice Akamaru,” she said with a smile creeping onto her face.
    Confused Kurenai asked “What are you talking about he’s right there next to Kiba”

    Despite her nausea, Shimi smirked, “Is he?”

    Kurenai looked closer, and her eyes widening as Akamaru seemed to melt, dissolving into a cluster of kikaichu beetles. “What the!?”

    Just then a rustling was heard and out of the trees behind Kiba came Akamaru a bright red ball in his mouth. Setting down next to his partner's feet the ninken gave a victorious howl.

    The genjutsu disappears as Kurenai's surprised face gives way to a smile. “Congratulations, you passed.”

    ---Kurenai POV---

    As I watched my new students walk off, I mentally reviewed the test. Team 8 was meant to be a tracking squad, a very good tracking squad. A Hyuga, an Inuzuka, and an Aburame were a perfect combination with that goal in mind.

    It was why I’d structured the test the way I had. The idea was to see if they could 1) track down the targets and 2) work as a team. Despite some hiccups, they’d done beautifully.

    Honestly, I’d expected Kiba to go off like that, his files had described him as prideful and impulsive, something to work on for sure but in the end, his headstrong nature hadn’t disrupted their team foundations too much.

    The big surprise of this test was Shimi Aburrame. While Hinata and Kiba had behaved more or less as their files had stated, Shimi was a bit of a mystery. The data on her suggested she was a classic gifted loner, but I’d seen that it was she who led her teammates.

    It seems that the Hokage had been right.

    “I don’t understand, Lord Third Shibi Aburame is top of her class shouldn’t she be on a team with the dead last; the Uzumaki boy.” She said looking confusedly at the files she had just been handed.

    The Kage exhaled smoke clouding his face for a moment before setting down his pipe, “Traditionally yes, but I didn’t want to miss out on the unique opportunity presented by this particular combo, especially considering the jutsu the young Aburame has.”

    Intrigued Kurenai began flipping the pages until she saw it; Secret Technique: Hive Mind. The Jonin was astounded the potential applications of this technique would make any Aburame even more formidable in both combat and espionage than they already were.

    “It says she discovered it at six?” she asked, baffled.

    “Yes” nodded the leader of the village, “and as of now only two other members of the clan have been able to reproduce this technique. Her father and a recently promoted Jonin, Muta Aburame.”
    He continued “This squad has the potential to be a truly impressive tracking, espionage, and sabotage team. I think that that is well worth breaking from tradition a bit.”

    Kurenai nodded ‘Well’ she thought ‘this will be interesting’

    *Flashback end*

    And interesting it had been, Shimi especially had really shone her stuff. Between the combination of sword techniques and clan techniques along with her tactical skills, she would be a fearsome shinobi.
    Her other teammates were similarly talented. If she could get them synced up and their teamwork up to snuff she could see them ending up like the Sanin or Ino-Shika-Cho.

    I set down my pen, paperwork finally completed. ‘I better work on a training plan’ I thought walking out the door ‘though I don't suppose getting a drink first will hurt. I wonder what Asuma’s doing’

    ---Kiba POV---
    I’d passed! Finally, I’m a real ninja now! To say I was excited was an understatement. ‘Looks like I’ll have a good team’ the thought caused his elevation to flag a bit. He knew he’d made a bit of a fool of himself at the beginning of the test.

    Luckily Akamaru had come in with the win, so I’d saved face a bit. ‘That plan of hers was brilliant’ Shimi had been surprisingly awesome, and terrifying. ‘And I thought she was creepy before’ I shivered a bit just watching those beetles crawl out of her or piling on each other to form the Akamaru clone.

    ‘Still though creepy or not she’s one hell of a ninja. Wonder if we’ll get to spar.’

    He suddenly had the image of those beetles crawling on him or into him or on Akamaru. ‘On second thought maybe not’

    ---Hinata POV---
    “I passed,” I said, my head bowed before my father. Giving me a once over he simply said “Good”. I knew a dismissal when I heard one. I hurried to my room, making sure to keep my head down.

    Thoughts of my new teammates flashed through my head. Kurenai’s warm smile when she passed us, Kiba’s brashness, and Kimi’s quiet authority.

    ‘Maybe we’ll be friends.’ I thought as my head hit the pillow and I drifted off.

    ---Shimi POV---
    I was feeling good about myself as I walked home, the test had gone well, all things considered. I also got some ninja who wasn’t either an Aburame or a Swordsmen.

    It was startling to see how much stronger and faster than her Kurenai-sensei, a genjutsu specialist was. It just goes to show that I gotta keep on working.

    Suddenly I heard shouting, I turned around and saw a young ninja in bright green tights and orange leg warmers race past at a ridiculous pace, backward, on his hands. “ONLY 20 MORE LAPS TO GO!” he shouted moving by in a green blur.

    My brain short-circuited for a second before deciding to simply ignore that ridiculousness and continued on my journey home.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2020
    Fencer, DLSD, Sat and 19 others like this.
  6. Gladbitch

    Gladbitch Getting out there.

    Mar 16, 2020
    Likes Received:
    Shilor meet Rock Lee may your sanity be preserved.
  7. Greatazuredragon

    Greatazuredragon Experienced.

    Jul 29, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Nice story so far, good work.
  8. [Quixotic_being]

    [Quixotic_being] Fulfilling every contract to the letter

    Nov 25, 2019
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    When she finds out how busted his pure Taijutsu build is, she is going to destroy herself creating a method to develop her physical skills enough to be actually worth anything against him, while still retaining her skill level in other areas.
    It will work of course but no body else will be insane enough to try it.
    She will be thought of as the same kind of monster as Gai and Lee.
  9. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

    Mar 27, 2018
    Likes Received:
    The rapid POV switches felt unhelpful and unnecessary. A consistent third person omniscient would probably work better -- or perhaps simply staying in Kurenai's POV since she has full knowledge of the situation through the entire scenario.