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Silly Tales of the Super Girl (MCU Supergirl SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by d.fish, May 7, 2017.

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  1. Threadmarks: 1.1 Tony 1
    d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    Notes: I wanted to try at doing a SI without ever showing the SI's POV.

    Even though he was in a machine, Tony felt out of breath. It really was a pity that he couldn't enjoy the whiskey he poured out for himself. If only Loki had the class to take the offer to drink. But then, as Tony thought about it, the alien god had no class. Oh, he dressed nice in his tux and in his gaudy golden armor, he spoke with some level of charisma, and he came with his bells and whistles... the supposedly-Norse deity could present himself.

    But he didn't have class.

    Tony thought he knew Loki's type pretty well. They felt like they had a set path in life and they thought the world would follow their plans—the paths that they laid out for the world. But the world didn't work that way, and no one, not even Tony though he'd never admit it, could plan for everything. It was the opposite of having a hammer and seeing every problem as a nail... but that was it, wasn't it?

    Thor was the one with the hammer, so Loki thought he could be the smart one. But Tony? Tony knew, that there was no scenario, no outcome, of this skirmish in the heart of New York that could end up with Loki winning.

    No, Loki had bells and whistles, and his presentation—the invasion force that was now rampaging across the city—looked impressive. Tony couldn't deny an alien army of giant monstrosities and soldiers on flying bikes straight out of 1980's Flash Gordon didn't look awesome. Well, he might have even said so, if it didn't look like his Stark Tower was about to topple over from Thor and Loki giving it the kind of attention like it was a cheating woman in the middle of Saudi Arabia.

    Come to think of it, Tony paused and frowned, taking the moment to catch his breath... calling it Stark Tower was awfully selfish, even for him. He had Rhodey, he had Pepper, and now he had a team. It could be nice to have a hang out for everyone that wasn't a stuffy helicarrier.

    As cool as the feat of modern engineering was, the lab Fury gave them was lacking in... toys. And they had no alcohol on the ship. What was up with that?

    Tony Stark drifted down towards the rest of the Avengers. Calling themselves that was going to take some taking used to, but Tony was adaptive. He briefly peered up at Loki, who had jumped off of his... hm, rather phallic-looking tower now that he looked up at it from a regular ground level point of view. The Norse deity was strapped onto the back of one of those silly 80's looking flying bikes—not even piloting himself, letting one of his minions drive for him—and clutching the nameless, faceless alien's waist like he was doing the clay scene from Ghost. “... Yeah, no class.”

    “Sir?” Jarvis' voice blared into his ears. His adrenaline must have been pumping on overdrive, because his artificial intelligence's voice sounded louder than normal. “Sir?”

    “Yeah, Jarvis?” His body twisted, dodging an array of some kind of blue, glowing bolts of alien munitions. Or rather, the suit helped him twist; it guided his body's motion, piloting as the Iron Man was more... emotionally draining than physically draining. The weaponry shown here wasn't all that impressive in the Michael Bay scale of things, but Tony had little doubts that a couple of impacts could pierce right through his armor. He made yet another mental note to tinker out some more specialized, situational powered armors after this was all over—the eleventh time he'd made that note in the past five minutes.

    “A civilian seems to be approaching the perimeter, but... she is dodging everything,” Jarvis sounded almost unsure.

    That made Tony feel unsure. “Everything everything? Like, Cap's attempts at keeping the fighting here or all the aliens?”

    “... Yes, sir.”

    Tony rolled his eyes. “Alright, Hulk, buddy, you got this?”

    The jolly green giant roared in response. And then punched Thor again.

    “Hit me with it, Jarvis,” Tony said as he gave Banner a wave, but he realized he didn't need Jarvis to show him the footage.

    As he circled back towards the group, Tony saw a girl in baggy, if nondescript clothing running towards exactly where Captain America was. Somehow, every single stray or purposeful shot that veered towards her missed. Some missed by a mile, but some should have at least given her a scratch. And then the girl, just a few feet away from Cap without Cap even noticing, tripped on something and fell face first, skidding towards Cap's feet in a messy mop of blonde hair and a Hello Kitty backpack.

    “Eeep!”

    If he had been drinking, Tony would have done a spit-take. As he was, he just... stared. The scrawny looking girl was so short and baby-faced she looked like she was just out of middle school, and utterly out of place on the battlefield of the first public alien invasion of earth.

    Tony's mind raced; he was running through all the possibilities. She couldn't just be a regular human girl who's too daring to sit around in makeshift shelters and wait out the violence. She had to be... she could be so many different things. He made a mental check list and immediately started to eliminate the impossibilities...

    … and then she got up and opened her mouth.

    Tony winced.

    “Oh-my-god, oh-my-god, you're so... you're... you're you!” She gaped, starry-eyed at the Hulk. “You know, I never really bought into that whole 'Hulk-Widow' stuff, I mean, you made a baby, ah! This is before... but, but, but, oh my god, my friends are going to be so jealous!”

    “... Huh?” The Hulk frowned in a huff, probably too confused in his haze of rage to even process her words. Not that her words mattered, she was hugging his leg so excitedly she was practically vibrating... if she kept that up, Tony mused she'd look like a human version of a golden retriever humping Hulk's leg. Oh. That image wasn't going to leave his mind for weeks.

    But the kid didn't stop there, she pulled out a notebook and ran up to Tony, who was still blanking out at what the hell was just happening.

    Before he knew it, he was signing an autograph with the automatic, practiced ease forged from being an international superstar, billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist. Idly, Tony noted that she didn't bother asking anyone else for an autograph, so he nodded and wrote his name, some silly, witty message that would probably get like a million likes on Facebook, because yes, he was just that awesome. And he was tuning her utter fangirlish nonsense out.

    “—this is so going in my Ironman X Hulk slash fanfiction. Stark Banner is so hot right now, and you know, yaoi is like the most beautiful love second to—”

    Hm. His sanity might survive this intact, Tony noted as he continued to tune the girl out. Barton seemed surprisingly adept and adapted to all this; he was the only one who stood by and actually looked down at his watch, as if waiting for the girl to finish talking, like he had to deal with this in his home life... Tony eyed Natasha suspiciously but she seemed awfully confused by her expression. This didn't make sense, so Tony had to file it away for when he had time to do a little digging.

    The middle schooler was still talking as fast as Tony could think, which was almost superhuman, come to think of it... “—so I gotta ask you, Professor Banner, since it's not bigger than my head, can I eat the energy source?”

    “What?” Tony's focus snapped back to reality all of a sudden. The adrenaline was back, and Loki's minions had shot enough times at the girl—and continued to keep missing—to give up trying to hit her altogether and returned to firing at Tony again. But that wasn't what caught his attention. It wasn't the girl flying upwards fast enough to cause a sonic boom that caused Tony's eyes to go wide.

    The surprise, and surprisingly fear, in his voice was like a beacon to his fellow Avengers. They turned to him instantly, still twitchy as they were on the battlefield, and not at some fan convention... not that they wouldn't be twitchy at a comic con.

    “Stark, Stark! Snap out of it.” Captain America was the first one to formulate a coherent thought and voice after the surreal experience of the fangirl's attack. “What's going on?”

    Tony looked up. He couldn't help it as trepidation built within and the anxiety that seemed to slip through the cracks of his mind swelled up like a tide. For a moment, he was speechless. But it was just a moment, no one could silence the brilliance that was Tony Stark.

    “... Holy shit, that crazy girl's going to eat the tesseract.”
     
  2. Kolarthecool

    Kolarthecool From dusk till dawn

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    Oh. My. God.

    Yes. Just... yes.

    The Supergirl Si/OC/Xander Harris has been done so many times, it's not even funny. But this. Thisss. This promises to be so epic.

    Moar pls!
     
  3. tripcode

    tripcode Know what you're doing yet?

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    She resembles a genderbent Booster Gold more than a Xander Harris.
     
  4. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    Oh right, I forgot to put threat on watch. Teehee~!
     
  5. Evillevi

    Evillevi Shadow Pika!

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    Fishy what have you done. What horrors have you wrought onto this world now with this abomination of fan girl-ism and and... and this!!!!.

    *Can't think of a clevererer sentence. Too sleepy.
     
  6. Biigoh

    Biigoh Moderator

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    Remember... it's clear that Tony wants to top but all he can do is put others down until a top comes by and makes him see that he should bottom. :>

    Like the legendary pretty boy, Loki.
     
  7. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    And all Hulk can do is tilt his head to one side and make a noise like a confused cocker spaniel. (and a face like one, too)
     
  8. tripcode

    tripcode Know what you're doing yet?

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    In the near vicinity, there are two others in Asgardian custody. I suppose it depends on how much their owners resist, and how the space stone in the Tesseract goes down.
     
  9. BlueHelix

    BlueHelix I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh god, fishie, what have you done!?
     
  10. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    You tell mee
     
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  11. Evillevi

    Evillevi Shadow Pika!

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    I want to report that while I did try to tell mee about the wonders of this thread, noodles neither enjoy nor appreciate the... schadenfreude that you can do
     
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  12. tripcode

    tripcode Know what you're doing yet?

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    What I don't get is how Supergirl could avoid Chitauri energy weapons without obviously using super speed. Is she only accelerating her perception to predict trajectories, which she steps out of the way of using normal speed?
     
    AckermannFxn and Ack like this.
  13. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    What she's doing is something Tony can't see with the naked eye or with his current equipment.
     
  14. Threadmarks: 1.2 Steve 1
    d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    Notes: Spur of the moment, so I didn't even bother thinking how this'd work with the plot.

    “We won.” Steve was utterly drained and the exhaustion, bruises, and loss of adrenaline had caught up to him, and he felt like he was having one of those out-of-body experiences. He couldn't help but wonder, was this really happening?

    “Alright, yay. Hurray. Good job, guys.” Everything was on fire. Tony sounded like how Steve felt. “Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day... You ever tried shawarma?”

    Steve's body had be driving itself after the battle. It was like he could hear and understand what everyone was saying, but he couldn't quite process it. He didn't feel like he was in control and yet he shook his head sardonically at the end of the day, perhaps just happy that he survived. More than this, he could only sum up his feelings as it was one thing to be told of an alien invasion and it was an entirely different thing to have to fight one off.

    He'd seen the Tesseract afterwards too. There were markings on it as if some small mouth had bitten into it like it was a ripe apple. He counted three bites in total, and the cube was missing its core like a hollowed out peach. And the cube wasn't lighting up, which Steve thought probably had something to do with the bite marks.

    No one seemed to be able to make heads or tails of this, even Tony Stark, as talkative and arrogant as he was, was speechless. This was probably because the entire top of Loki's scepter was also missing, left with a similar bite mark... bitten into as if the alien metal of the spear that withstood everything earth had thrown at it was nothing more than microwaved butter. Yes, Steve smiled inwardly to himself despite being puzzled and being at a loss... he knew what a microwave was. It was one of those things that SHIELD had gotten for his apartment, though the manual was so thick that Steve had a hard time believing everyone read those things before using a Microwave.

    But, of course everyone read microwave manuals, Steve knew. After all, these were cooking boxes that used electromagnetic radiation—the same stuff from the Bomb.

    So his body was on what people these days called “autopilot” as he bit into his pizza. This sort of Italian pie was surprisingly popular in Brooklyn these days, and pretty much all over America. He didn't know how that was, but Steve knew it tasted better than shawarma. Not that it was bad, but it just tasted... too different, too weird for him to swallow.

    Did that even make sense?

    “Hey, guys, how are you getting home?” Tony was the first one to speak, as always. Sometimes, Steve might have been irritated with the guy, but this wasn't one of those times. The comfortable silence that fell on the team couldn't last forever, and someone had to have said something first. Maybe part of the irritation, envy, and respect—a complex cocktail of emotions—that Steve felt for Tony's dad had sort of rubbed off onto Tony too. Yeah, Steve thought, maybe that was why he didn't have a good first impression of Tony.

    “Fury's got us covered,” Barton answered before Natasha could do more than open her mouth. He wasn't even looking up from his food.

    “I shall partake in your delightful drink and impose upon your hospitality, Tony Stark,” Thor added after that. He was the only one who seemed even remotely chipper after all this... but then again, a side of Steve's mind reminded him, Thor wasn't human. “Whiskey, was it?”

    “We'll have to go somewhere else, the dust isn't really good for me around there. Have you been to California, big guy?” Tony gestured with his food still half-chewed in his mouth. “But yeah, whiskey, scotch, cognac... I have a cellar.”

    “I love cellars!” Thor boomed, as if that was the natural response.

    Banner watched them before shaking his head. “It doesn't really bother me though. I know, because I already tried... well. I'll... go at my own pace. What about you, Steve, er, Cap?”

    “Steve is fine. My friends call me that, or Rogers,” Steve smiled at the doctor. He reminded Steve of the doctor who made him the man he was today, both were gentle at heart. “I can get home on my own. They probably aren't evacuating Brooklyn, right?”

    Tony tapped on something in his ear. “... Yeah, not yet. You sure?”

    Steve nodded.

    His first impression wasn't his current impression of Tony Stark. That had changed after Tony had tried to sacrifice himself... there wouldn't even have been ashes left if he hadn't... if he hadn't fallen at the last minute from pushing the bomb up into the atmosphere, from what little Steve understood of it. And from what he saw of the explosion, he couldn't help but to agree.

    But that had left a whole list of other problems...

    … the Bomb.

    It was... massive. Steve boggled at the idea... when did people need such powerful weapons to fight each other? Weren't they all human in the end?

    Was there no sympathy?

    The heartless necessity of such a weapon had given his mind an old one-two punch.

    It was in this daze that he bit into his shawarma and his pizza. They've evacuated a distance away after all the fighting had ended to get their post-fight snack. Tony had said something about radiation, about how it was bad. Steve frowned and thought, how would the citizens think of this, when they realized their government was so quick to sacrifice an entire city? And did they really save it? Tony seemed to have some concerns that what was left of the bomb could drift down and hurt people, and this was utter outside of his expertise. He didn't even knew how to start... he could only nod with an aftertaste of bitter sweetness, all the smart people were rocket scientists or something like Tony.

    So it was this lost, confused, and utterly exhausted Steve Rogers that returned to his apartment in Brooklyn, on the little electric motorcycle that Banner had borrowed from... somewhere. The good doctor had lent it to him because Natasha had talked him letting SHIELD provide him with transportation. How she did that with Banner, Steve would never know.

    Bang.

    Bang.

    Bang.

    Steve's brow furrowed as she ascended the stairs to the hallway outside his doorway. There was a soft soft of pounding against the wooden walls of the apartment complex. As he turned the corner—slowly and still slightly twitchy from the battlefield—he saw his good neighbor, that hard working little girl who told him about how microwaves were made from nuclear bombs. She was still wearing her work clothes, a green apron and hat of a Western American company from the land of the faraway wilderness of Seattle called Starbucks, which according to his neighbor, served the best worst tasting expensive boiled bean water that New Yorkers liked so much.

    “Oh, it's you, Mister Rogers,” She peeked up from her mess of brown hair she usually kept tied up into a somewhat neat ponytail.

    “Are you okay, Kara?” She seemed... injured, Steve noted. He found his frown deepening as he drew closer, no longer suspicious of some alien lurking outside of his door.

    She blew a raspberry. “Oh, oh yeah, Mister Rogers. I, uh, I just ate something bad. I think I have food poisoning or something. Feels like I've got three rocks in my tummy.”

    Steve studied her complexion. She didn't look like she needed to go to the hospital, but did look a little pale.

    “Hey, Mister Rogers?” She stared up at him, wide eyed, as if noticing something about him for the first time.

    “Yes?” He asked.

    “Did... did you know, there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes?” She slumped into the floor, clutching her stomach. There was an urgent whimper in her voice, but Steve felt like she was inching away from him.

    He reached to pick her up, but then she kept on talking.

    “... How nice to, uh, see they aren't perfectly blue? Hey, Mister Rogers?” She looked up again.

    Steve sighed and picked her up into his arms. She felt surprisingly heavy, but he didn't dare voice that. He knew even before being turned into an icicle that one of the taboos of talking to ladies was never talking to ladies about their weight. “... Yeah?”

    “... Are you going to hold my hair while I puke into the toilet?”

    “What?”

    “You know, that's what good guys do,” she rolled her eyes for some reason. “Well, when their friends who are girls but aren't their girlfriends are drunk and need to puke and... ah, we're at my door.”

    Before Steve could say anything, Kara jumped from his arms and gave him the biggest, brightest smile he'd seen all day. And that was saying something, considering he'd been exposed to Loki's smug mug. “Kara?”

    “I got it from here, Mister Rogers!” She tiptoed to try to reach him, but she couldn't, so she just pouted and turned to unlock her door. Somehow, she seemed giddy compared to just moments ago. And her earlier comment about his eye color caused him to look into hers, and he found her multicolored eyes to be quite pretty. It must be one of those new 'contact lenses' he'd read about. She giggled up at him like a blushing schoolgirl, “You're a real gentleman, you know that? Your lady friend is awfully lucky. Bye bye!”

    As his neighbor's door closed on his face, Steve mused that he was no less lost and dazed than he was an hour ago during the battle, but now he was also down with a deep sense of bittersweet loss too. After a moment's silence, he sighed and resolved to visit Peggy tomorrow.

    Yeah... tomorrow sounded nice, or at least when he was able to.

    After he'd slept off what happened today, anyway.
     
  15. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    d'awwwww. Kara is so cute when she's being Kara.

    Was she masked as Supergirl? Or just bewigged?
     
  16. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    She was wigged in her civilian persona and does a bit of self disguising and such, with makeup and the way comics Superman did disguises way back.

    I'm thinking that she'll also eventually show up on SHIELD's radar without a wig, but with a hoodie and a baseball cap and sunglasses, in her faux incognito disguise... if nothing but to tweak the meta's nose.
     
  17. Biigoh

    Biigoh Moderator

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    lol... poor Steve
     
  18. Stormbringer117

    Stormbringer117 Souless

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    This SI reminds me a lot of Gwenpool the Canon Marvel Self Insert.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  19. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy Verified Sanity

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    This story gave me the adorable mental image of Loki freaking out as a random little blond girl ate the top of his scepter after eating the tesseract in front of him.

    I love it.:D
     
  20. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    Speaking of which, this is after the rainbow bridge got destroyed. Does Odin even have enough dark matter to bring Thor and Loki back?

    ... Wait, he did it a few times during Dark World. Yeah, he should be fine for now. I think?
     
  21. theunderbolt

    theunderbolt Zoom, Zoom, Iyaaan~

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    He pulls them back at the end of Avengers.
     
  22. Stormbringer117

    Stormbringer117 Souless

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    No, they used the Cube with a fancy handle box. I remember that.

    Thor and Loki turn the handles and warp/wisped away.
     
  23. theunderbolt

    theunderbolt Zoom, Zoom, Iyaaan~

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    Ah your right my bad then.
     
  24. Threadmarks: 1.3 Darcy 1
    d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    “Aren't you supposed to tutor me?” She sounded irritated.

    Darcy Lewis didn't look up from her magazine and chewing gum, slowly inflating a pink bubble at her lips. “I'm supposed to be relaxing.”

    “Nu uh, you're supposed to be tutoring me.” There was a pause. “What are you reading about anyway?”

    A pair of eyes peered over her magazine. They were annoyingly bright eyes, the kind you'd see on celebrities who were already airbrushed before being airbrushed again and then splattered with special effects—the type of eyes you wouldn't expect to see in real life. There was something wrong with them, and her gaze, too... almost as if she wasn't really looking at her, but through her and into her at the same time. The way she watched Darcy with her way-too-perfect eyes was a bit scary; Darcy had seen that gaze on old professors who knew nothing of the classes they taught about. It was the look of someone who knew the numbers and the facts, but never saw people as people, like a professor of economics justifying why the government wasn't doing anything to help Darcy with her student loans.

    They were eyes that didn't see Darcy as a real person, just a statistic, or a character in a book.

    “What's it matter to you, Miss Zorelle?” Darcy sighed testily, before slamming down her distraction. The way the smaller girl stared at her always made her lose her appetite. “It's just an article about that whole thing happening up in New York.”

    The messy blonde sat back down at that, placated for some odd reason.

    “Why? You worried?” Darcy prodded, wondering how exactly Kara Zorelle ticked. She probably had some kind of undiagnosed attention disorder or something, making her act more autistic than anything else. Not that Darcy had anything against autism inflicted people, no, but Kara freaked her the fuck out.

    “Nah,” Kara shook her head in an exaggerated fashion, as if she were an elementary school student with too much energy. “It's all the way up in New York. We're fine in Virginia, right?”

    Darcy's eyes veered back towards the cover of the magazine, lingering on the muscular form of the Thunder God Thor standing in the middle of a wrecked New York street. He looked awful and awfully tired in that picture, covered in cuts, eyes almost droopy, and with a matching pair of large, fist-shaped bruises the size of the Hulk's fist on his left and right cheeks. Yet he was so powerful, in her memories... “Yeah, we'll be fine. Now go scamper off and play with your Instagram or something.”

    “Aren't you gonna—”

    Darcy darted up and grabbed one of those half-dried dry-erase markers that were left around the room (many of them lost in dark corners behind tables or who-knows-where). She scribbled on the white board in a sprawling, messy hand writing of someone who wanted nothing to do with what she was doing and was only there because she was obligated to be by the school.

    ASTROPHYSICS.

    “Uh...?” Kara tilted her head and her eyes, very briefly, went cross-eyed.

    “There, I wrote the word. Now, maybe next time we'll go further than that, but I'm done for the day,” Darcy leaned back in the professor's chair, not bothering for the hundredth time to even correct the smaller girl's assumption that Darcy had anything about astrophysics to teach her. “Can't believe this is the first thing I'm saddled with after coming back. I'm so moving to London.”

    “That's no fair,” Kara actually pouted at her and tried to look like a kicked puppy. Did she actually think that would work on Darcy? “You're an intern too... wait, you went somewhere?”

    “Yeah, New Mexico. You never been out of town before?”

    “Uh, yeah? I totally have!”

    She actually sounded indignant. Darcy found herself smirking, at last, a reaction—something other than this stupid golden retriever impression. Though, if she hadn't had her world view shattered so thoroughly so many times over the past months, Darcy wouldn't have been this disgruntled. Well, maybe a little. “Uh huh. And where've you been?”

    “Well, New York. Hong Kong. Uh... Kamar-Taj?” She shrugged.

    “Kamar-Taj? Where's that?” Darcy set down her magazine completely and raised an eyebrow.

    “It's in, um, Nepal?” Kara replied.

    “Are you asking me?” Darcy squinted at the undergrad student before her. The way her hair flowed was just like like her eyes: too perfect. Even in its messy, frazzled, ponytail form, it was too smooth, too silky. Her eyes turned back towards the cover of her magazine, where Thor stood, his hair having been undone some time during the fighting.

    Then it clicked, as if a nagging suspicion realized. But she wasn't sure... it could be just something silly. She could be wrong and the girl in front of her could just have such perfect genetics to look so pretty and cute at the same time, like some kind of super-ish girl.

    “Kara, are you an alien?” Well, Darcy wasn't good with subtlety. She has had enough of that sitting around watching SHIELD take everything. Yeah, it was better to be blunt, then she could pass it off as a joke if she was wrong—

    “W-What, h-how did you—no, n-no, I'm totally not an alien!” Kara denied.

    For a moment, Darcy actually believed her. After all, this could just mean that Kara was really stupid. That was something Darcy already knew; other than certain aspects of her academics, her fellow intern was kinda... sorta... retarded. Like, she'd stare off into space or something and see things that weren't there, and call dudes tiny and cute until every guy avoided her like a masculinity-killing plague. But then Darcy backtracked. She still wasn't sure, but she doubted anyone even suspected Kara. Even for her appearance, Kara didn't actually do anything out of the ordinary. She even worked at a Starbucks, had student debts, and everything. So Darcy squinted and casually took out her phone, “... Are you an Asgardian?”

    “W-what? No! Why would I be like, like Thor?” Kara scowled, her eyes darting about and briefly landing on the magazine, her little button nose scrunched up in disgusting cuteness. She seemed flustered.

    “How did you know Thor is an Asgardian?” Darcy leaned forward. “No one said anything about that.”

    “... They didn't?!”

    Darcy snorted. “No, it's not like he'll give an interview. So what are you? 'Cuz I have SHIELD on speed dial so you better not be like, what's his face Loki.”

    Actually, she didn't. Darcy only knew the name; it was a secret organization after all. But if nothing else, Darcy knew she was a better bluff than Kara was. Then again, Kara was an easy read. It wasn't like she had a dozen tells, or blurted out her secrets or something, but Kara didn't actually think far ahead despite being rather book smart. She looked at every problem as if she was a hammer and they were all nails, more so than even Thor, who had an actual hammer.

    “Um... okay... I'm a Stellar Mermaid and our currency is based off of Starbucks and, uh, I like coffee,” Kara fidgeted, but spoke with a straight face.

    Darcy rolled her eyes. “Fine, don't tell me. You got me, I don't have SHIELD on speed dial. Are you gonna invade the Earth or something though? I mean, 'cuz we got Avengers.”

    “Pffft,” Kara mimicked Darcy's eye roll, her eyes twinkling. But her smile didn't seem to reach all the way up to her eyes... no, the way she looked at Darcy was like how some of the secret agents of SHIELD looked at her: calculating if eliminating her would be more cost effective or if leaving her alive was better.

    It almost caused Darcy to shiver, but she hid it well.

    “I'm just trying to get an education. And pay off my student loans,” Kara said, as if she wasn't casually thinking about killing people with... Darcy didn't know, but, like, with her eyes or something?

    “Right. Well. Why don't you clean up the lab and finish the papers the professor wanted or whatever, I'm turning out for the day,” Darcy replied. Yeah, she thought to herself, best start looking for how to get that transfer to London right now. Staying in Virginia, so close to aliens or what have you—it didn't matter, Darcy just wanted to get laid and get paid, not deal with this save-the-world bullshit. That was more Jane's area of expertise.

    Yeah. Darcy just wanted to go home and collapse onto her bed with her pants half-taken off and with something stupid being played on her television with bad reception, so that lovely white-noise can lull her to bed. None of this... alien stuff. And with that, she absolved herself of all responsibility and care.

    Eh, if Kara was going to attack New York, she'll be on the other side of the world. Win-win.

    “Awww,” Kara whined, but she was used to it. As Darcy strolled out of the room, she could still hear the girl's now fading voice carrying an audible pout. “But I was gonna...”

    “Don't care!”
     
  25. SemiAnarchist

    SemiAnarchist I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh man, Darcy was thiiiis close to getting Kara to spill all her beans, only to just nope right on out of the conversation right before she could.
     
  26. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    I don't get why Kara is in Virginia with Darcy but also living next to Steve in New York.

    Is she supersonic commuting between the two and somehow no one notices?

    This story is pretty amusing though.
     
  27. Liam-don

    Liam-don Fondly Regard Creation.

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    This is silly. You are a silly SuperFishie.
     
  28. d.fish

    d.fish Princess of Memes, Shitposts, and Puns

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    It is in the title, yes.
     
  29. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    I find myself wondering if Kara can actually digest the infinity stones, they get pooped out eventually, or if they're just stuck somewhere in the digestive track impairing everything else forever.
     
  30. OverReactionGuy

    OverReactionGuy Verified Sanity

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    What goes in must come out, whether it's the hard way or not.
     
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