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Snek is a Good Boy [a Worm Crackfic]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ack, Mar 10, 2021.

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  1. Kitty S. Lillian

    Kitty S. Lillian Transhuman

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    Haha. slitherthrough orders, with dumbass Brocktonites.
    This is in the wrong segment of the site for her to get vored.
     
  2. NohVoha

    NohVoha 30% Christian, 70% Lewd

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    It’s concerning to the human race that that ever even needs to be a statement
     
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  3. Scopas

    Scopas Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well, if you're talking about just soft-core porny vore, you're right - but if you're talking about being devoured by a snake, this seems absolutely apropos. Speaking as someone who has enjoyed feeding mice and crickets to the Biology Department's collection of snakes, watching them eat isn't particularly sexy, but it sure is final. And considering the relative size of a cricket to a garter snake, I think that Riley would've been a delicious little snack for Snek.

    That said, I'm glad that he didn't devour whole the murdertot. It's no fun when they die too quickly to suffer for their sins, and/or be redeemed.
     
  4. GladiusLucix

    GladiusLucix Versed in the lewd.

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    [​IMG]

    Snek is a very good boy. Hopefully the fact that he was politely waiting in line convinces the PRT that he is a good boy, but somehow I doubt it will.
     
  5. NohVoha

    NohVoha 30% Christian, 70% Lewd

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    Riley redemption is always wholesome, now the question is wether is a snekky kind of redemption involving one Earth Bet and large nope rope and converted mass murderer some free time and a lot of tasty bad guys.
     
  6. Scopas

    Scopas Know what you're doing yet?

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    That's... a good question. I guess it depends on what story Ack wants to write. I'm a big fan of well-executed redemption, but... when you're talking about a character as notorious as Bonesaw, it has to be a really, really impressive redemptive arc for it to work, you know? I mean, it's basically the salvation of a kid version of Dr. Mengele. That kind of heavy writing could distract from the crack of a oversized magical snake solving Worm's problems one meal at a time. Maybe her redemption is to be isekai'ed via wiggle hole or whatever.
     
    32dahhuio898 and Ack like this.
  7. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    It's simple.

    She will have a good home with the wizard, her personality has been rolled back to actual good girl, and she will never set foot in Earth Bet again.
     
  8. NavigatorNobilis

    NavigatorNobilis Follower of the Second Star

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    The perfect solution; you've found it!
     
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  9. Kitty S. Lillian

    Kitty S. Lillian Transhuman

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    ^Yeah, that solves the Bonesaw problem forever. Doubt Piggot will trust it, but…she's a hard target to satisfy regardless.
    That's not the only kind that gets sexualized.

    Anyway, point was, if one's not sexualizing it, and this fic isn't/cannot, "vore" is the wrong word to use, which is probably all that needs saying here.
     
    DrDeth and Ack like this.
  10. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Which is why I've already taken it off the description.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2021
  11. meloa789

    meloa789 Not too sore, are you?

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    Riley and Missy should headpat and hug the good Snek.
     
  12. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Riley absolutely does headpat and hug Snek.

    Missy hasn't gotten close enough yet.
     
    Eryk, Pyro Hawk, NohVoha and 3 others like this.
  13. NohVoha

    NohVoha 30% Christian, 70% Lewd

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    Missy through the powers of space bending is probably the only one able to give snek a proper full hug, encompass all the snake
     
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  14. mkire

    mkire Lee-ko is adorable

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    This reminds me of a video where a guy uses a British MBT to get McDonalds
     
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  15. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Was there a drive-through left after he went through?
     
    meloa789 likes this.
  16. Renko

    Renko Demon Lord of the Sixth Heaven ~☆

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    lol.

    Uh...

    Indeed! Indeed he is!

    [​IMG]

    :V
     
  17. Balra

    Balra I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I have to ask is Snek from something? I want to read more of our not so little nope rope
     
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  18. mkire

    mkire Lee-ko is adorable

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    Yes actually, he just went through the drive through, though he did have a lot of spectators
     
    Ack likes this.
  19. firethorn

    firethorn Making the rounds.

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    Okay, first up, this is hilarious. Second, keeping in mind unreliable narrator, as people are going to tend to overestimate the size of the giant snake, though Vista, due to power stuff, is going to tend to be more accurate. Earlier you have Mouse Protector identify Snek's head as roughly the size of a subcompact car. That would tend to indicate 4-5 feet would be a better estimate than 3. That said, a foot of over-estimating (so 4 ft as opposed to 5), combined with Vista referring to the trunk while Mouse Protector was talking about the head.. I can see it.

    Nothing that a greater restoration couldn't fix(it does fix charm effects). It isn't a wizard spell, but Archmages have plenty of ways around that.
     
    Ack likes this.
  20. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Sorry, he's entirely made up out of the chaos that is the inside of what I laughingly call my creative process.
    WOG: Snek is about sixty feet long and three feet thick at the thickest point of his body. His head's almost the size of a subcompact car (so, just a little smaller than one).
     
  21. Balra

    Balra I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Nooo! How will I get my daily dose of scaley good boy?!
     
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  22. Kitty S. Lillian

    Kitty S. Lillian Transhuman

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    By writing more?
     
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  23. firethorn

    firethorn Making the rounds.

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    Okay, three feet thick means "diameter" in my mind. Please note that I am perfectly fine with the concept of unreliable narrators - characters in the story can give incorrect information, especially during dialog, for all the numerous reasons somebody might give it in real life; they're bad at estimating, they may be exaggerating, outright lying, etc...

    Given that even a subcompact car is a bit over 5 foot wide and 10 foot long(I pulled up the dimensions of several subcompacts, 67" wide is normal, as is 60" high, 165" long), "almost" the size of a subcompact car would still mean that Snek has a proportionally large head for his body. Like I said before, roughly 4 feet would be "slightly smaller". 3 feet would be significantly smaller, closer to "half" than "almost".

    Indeed, this discussion caused me to pull up pictures of pythons and anacondas(descriptions used in the fanfic). One thing that struck me is that the head is nearly always actually smaller than the body at its thickest. If Snek has a ~4 foot head, I'd believe 3 feet immediately behind the head*, but he should actually be closer to 5 feet at his thickest then. And that would still be within realistic ratios.

    Way too much research gives me a ratio of length to diameter of ~10-40:1, highly variable based on species and everything else(pythons tend to be thicker due to the extra muscle needed). So 60' long and 3' in diameter is 20:1, making Snek a thick Snake. Given his ability to crush things, not a surprise. A 4' head would have him having a freaky huge head. Not an objection, just a notation.

    *And note: 3 feet is still big enough to easily swallow an adult human.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2021
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  24. Balra

    Balra I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You are right


    Mini omake

    Snek ate endbringer got many headpats.

    Perfection!
     
    Ack likes this.
  25. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    His head's a little less than 3 feet across at its widest, and about 5 feet long. Not really as big (or near to) as a subcompact, but huge for a snake head, which made it seem bigger than it was to Mouse Protector (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). He needs to crunch adult humans down a little before unhinging his jaw and nomming them down the hatch.

    The main reason I'm holding him down to 3' diameter is that he needs to be able to meaningfully coil around a person to break their bones, and if he's too big he just can't manage that.
     
    nameless980 likes this.
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