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The Living Bot! (Multiverse ft. Robot!SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by JBukharin, Aug 20, 2019.

  1. Threadmarks: Star Wars 1 - It's a bot! But also human!

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    I hate my life- Actually scratch that, I hate the sob that has put me in this shitty situation.

    I think the term is ROB.

    SOB or ROB, there is still some sunnuvabeach that got us in this poopy version of Frankestein.

    It's not that bad. The B1 Droid is still mobile-

    Compared to a cup of tea?

    I can understand that part of this newfound bipolarism would be elated in having me uploaded in this walking tin can but seriously what are we supposed to do here with this shitty cannon fodders?

    We could upgrade this in something badass!

    We are not in a position to move. We still don't know where-

    "This piece of crap sure better fit the bill with our dear investors, I sure don't want to get killed by that crazy man and his hocus pocus."

    Darkness slowly made way to some enlightening vision as I finally got a glimpse of what was going on.

    I was in... some sort of open container, set right in the middle of the second row of droids closest to the entrance.

    I was staring at two ugly Geonosians exchanging some words that quite fell in the profane section of the vocabulary.

    We have some language package? That is... strange.

    You mean to tell me you didn't notice we still keep our memories? I thought 'that' was something crazy but ya know.. beggars can't be choosers!

    I second Yellow, we got some edge and we will use to get out of there in one piece.

    "You are just scared you are getting discovered with Annette keeping you warm when you are supposed to be at work, you crazy bastard."

    The two idiots were quite annoying to watch and I was thankful I had yet to learn how to move because I would have seriously groaned at the scene in front of me.

    "Well, we should wrap up this scraps and get to work with the others."

    ..Are they going to seal us here?!


    My brain ached as I tried to find the moving commands and then I... Oh God.

    You meant 'smiled'?

    I don't think we can.. smile in this body.

    Oh my God, we are going to be boring without a mouth! This cannot be tolerated! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

    Driven by pure hatred against the deity or piece of garbage that had put me there to suffer, I jumped forward and started to work the surprised workers.

    They weren't certainly expecting to see a little B1 going Gung-ho at them and surely were not expecting it smashing its fists in both's chins.

    Pain and surprise, what a pleasant combo for those who are not suffering both.

    One tried to push me away in the container and I would have grinned if I had a mouth as I backed away just enough to ready up another beautiful punch.

    The delightful crunching sound that followed as the simplistic hand met the disgusting face of the Geonosian was enough to pump me up for a murder spree!

    I... I suspect we lost him.

    It was cool until you went bat-shit crazy, man.

    I ignored the voices, I mean if I was crazy I would listen to them... RIGHT!?

    The trembling meat waste trembled and stumbled while trying to retreat from me, a futile attempt that only delayed his death so little and that annoyed me to the gear.

    "P-Please! I-I-I have-GUH!" I stomped once the ugly face, irked by pathetic spiel delivered in such pitch of tone.

    I squished the insect-like face further until it fully cracked under the pressure, green blood starting to stain my little steel feet. I wonder how annoying it will be to remove from the foot.

    ...You alright now?

    Almost there... just the need to... yes!

    I crouched right where I spotted what I needed, a small keycard within the deceased squishy-head I just unalived.

    Authorisation Level: 4

    First Star Wars, now we have to pull a Metal Gear Solid with those keycards. I swear if we have to go through some crazy places to change their fucking temperatures I will go bat-shit insane myself!

    Maybe we could just escape with this. I don't think we need much to survive.

    In a normal situation I would agree but... We need much more if we want to even have a chance of survival in the upcoming war.

    Yep and I think we can start by that juicy box filled to the brim with blasters.

    Oh shit, I didn't notice that! Thanks a lot, Yellow!

    STOP ENABLING HIM! We are already having a difficult job trying to not descend to this psychopath's level.

    Actually the term 'Sociopath' fills the bill best but... your mistake, Bluey.

    How is this my loss? What are you talking about?

    "I dunno my little voice." I scoffed at the meek voice I had, soothing my inner boredom and annoyance by admiring the E-5 Blaster I had picked and the fuckton of ammo I just stole from the box right beside the blasters' one. "But boy, we are going to have some nifty fun in this brave new... megaverse?"

    And how do you plan to start this.. adventure?

    "By changing body, you silly goose!" I slammed the keycard on the ID scanner right in the center of the door. "We cannot live in this B1 garbage."

    Aye, we going to get something cooler! Something crazy strong!

    I despise both of you...

    The door opened and I stared at another Geonosian, the insect-like bastard's eyes widening at the unexpected sight.

    "Wha-" The simple word was interrupted the mere moment the trigger was pressed and the red laser burned instantly the ugly face. Its body fell on the floor and I didn't linger further as I had to reach... some security room in this mad-long corridor that led to several rooms.

    I paused mid-step as I had made my mind that this would have been a difficult task, the curious tone of an unfamiliar song reaching my hearing receptors urging me to stop to see the cause of the disturbance.


    My head slowly turned right to the third door to the right from where I had just come from, the lights of several monitors being perfectly visible just like the closed-eyed geonosian sleeping in the chair in front of them.

    I... I had expected much more.

    While I don't think we are not talking about the same kind of 'more', I do concur this is quite disappointing to look at.

    I... I don't know anymore.

    I slipped inside the room and closed the door behind me, my blaster aimed at the guard's head and exploding it like the previous idiot.

    "And now..." I pulled away the corpse out of the chair, sitting there myself. "Let's see what I should do here..."

    Incoming Encrypted Message!

    FROM: SecurityUnit1546
    TO: Foreman Wat Tambor

    SUBJECT: Anomaly found in Floor 15, Facility 548 - Origin: Unknown

    We should be getting out of there, not going to the lower floors!

    There is quite the reward if we for this little deviation from our escape path, one that will help us in the long-term plans of winning this stuff.

    The elevator ride was going smoothly as we descended further in the intricate factory of... doom?

    We need to work with that shitty vocabulary of yours with some cooler te-


    The sound at first scared me, then the red lights and the the noise being repeated reminded me what it actually was.

    It seems like Stealth is no more a viable option.

    Get the gun ready to raze as we show our steely determination to our enemies! URAH!

    The elevator stopped as I had reached the floor where my soon-to-be body was.

    The massive doors slammed open to reveal...

    A little group of six B1s and two B2s.

    I chuckled.

    I like those odds!~

    This is a x-post from SB. Prepare for some funsies!
    Also first step in QQ. I hope to not disappoint.
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2019
  2. Threadmarks: Star Wars 1 - It's a bot! But also human! (2)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    This is utterly ridiculous.


    At least we got this fancy Blaster-Arm to use as a heavy hitter!

    It was funny how much of a meme B1s and B2s are. In the movies they were made as some dangerous opponents for normal troops, heck even causing some trouble to some Jedi.

    But what had just happened in that fight? Anti-climatic seemed to be the closest adjective to the dull battle I have just won.

    Why? Well, if Storm Troopers' aim was crap then multiply their inability by ten and you will have standard droids' aim.

    Maybe it's their combat protocol. We are kind of smarter than them in that regards.

    Their numbers would have been able to balance that issue and... it didn't do anything at all to help them.

    They sucks and we are the best. That is what it matters.

    Your bravado will cost us in the future...

    Bah! You are just a party pooper because you didn't get anything that you wish to have in this moment, like... like a book!

    That sounds quite generic.

    And I will have you both know that knowledge is power.

    Multiple footsteps started to approach rapidly and I decided to not linger any further.

    There was a little unused body that needed to be recovered ASAP.

    It's quite weird that they had not fitted some AI in that fine piece of machinery.

    You read that report, the BX-A has too many function for the normal AI available. They are still working in some adapting AI but none is close accomplish that.

    But we do?

    If a human can fit inside a B1's basic body, then it will fit like a glove in that gorgeous thing.

    I turned the corner to find three B1s walking towards me.


    I didn't waste time to redirect both the E-5 and the B2's arm against them.

    "Eat dirt, you noobs!"

    Quick reminder: the blaster inside the B2's arm has a delicious full-auto firing that melted whatever stood against it.

    "MER-" Poor things, trying to appear more humane.

    I will have to document myself about whom had decided to give such a meek personality to this robo-plebs.

    You are starting to sound quite pompous.

    More like a bastard in my opinion.

    Hush, I am just having some Game-like fun. I don't plan to go overboard again... yet.

    My little promise proved to be more difficult than I had thought as few moments later I found myself cornered near few containers by the centre of the room.

    We need to find a way out!

    I am trying to but-

    What about the content of the containers?

    I paused and slowly moved turned the corner and jumped inside the massive box, avoiding few blasts from guarding droids.

    Oh my God!

    This... This can change everything!

    Ja! Ve got our Panzer and ve are going for a ride! JA!

    "This is..." Wat Tambor stared at the footage of the devastation being perpetrated by the rogue B1.

    The container broke in a small explosion and the contingence of droids formed by B1s and B2s broke formation in a shattered retreat, screeching in faux fear as the newly-revealed AAT Battle Tank's turrets started to mercilessly tear down the opposition created against the simple droid.

    Simple. The word sounded sour the mere moment it was associated with the surprisingly resourceful unit.

    Yet, even if units and equipment worth thousands if not milions of credits were being laid waste by the rebellious B1, the Skakoan stared at the scene in pure and morbid interest.

    Such a tactical and strategical potential... that wasn't supposed to be programmed in that low-level unit!

    It was infuriating but also intriguing and amusing.

    Years spent dealing with absolutes, with factual knowledge, and there this little rogue droid was tearing down a foundation of droid's laws.

    A scientific miracle, one that was going to be his!

    But in that childlike wonder, Wat felt wary about the unit's objective as he couldn't pinpoint what he would want to achieve by going deeper in the facility.

    Freedom was excluded, at least that was he got from what he could gather until now by the droid's action and it was probable that whatever the unit wanted was but just a treat for its escape.

    Behind his respirator, Wat smirked and silently waited what this unit was going to accomplish if left untouched for a bit longer.

    But still... He needed to capture him! For science!

    It's strange that they are not sending stronger reinforcements to deal with us...

    Methinks we are going towards an ambush..

    I think that we are in a tank and they can do very little about it.

    That is until we have to leave it to pass through some unaccessible sections of the factory.

    I don't think this will be an issue anytime soon...

    Aiming the main cannon at the door remaining before the special droid, I took the shot and gladly watched as the closed entrance was now open.

    Explosions make life easier!

    I jumped out of the tank and rushed towards the BX-A, the unit being held mid-air by some tubes and wires.

    Now... what?

    I think I... know what to do but...

    I walked closer to the droid and put my metallic hand onto its chest, suddenly feeling lighter.

    Transferring databank on BX-A Mk. IV!

    Data Transferred: 1%


    This is... weird..


    I am feeling numb..


    This is the craziest hangover ever..

    Data Transfer-

    My vision started to slowly adjust out of the blurry sight I had and... I was staring from somewhere else.

    Below me was the very unit that had housed my...

    Consciousness? Soul?



    Activation Unit. . . !
    Applying updates on the software. . .!
    Activating HUD System. . . !


    Removing Energy Connectors and Switching to Main Battery!
    Current Battery: 100% (EST. 451y, 9m, 24d)

    This is... absurd. What kind of battery does this unit have? A nuclear one?!

    My God, the HUD is similar to...

    To Crysis 2. We got effing Crysis 2 HUD!

    Game over, man. Game over!

    Please stop..

    Unknown energy sources detected!

    The minimap showed a about ten enemies approaching from both sides evenly.

    "Time to kick some ass!"

    The unit had done it. The Skarkoan had thought that the surprise would have slowly decreased knowing how meek a B1 was and yet this one had done the impossible once more.

    The BX-A was not something that he had thought the B1 would have tried to reach and now his greatest work was alive and preparing to engage the approaching force of droids.

    He had terribly miscalculated the capacity of the rogue droid and now his most important project was dangerously close to escape his clutches.

    Wat Tambor decided it was time to update the contigences and get some Droidekas to stop the unit.

    At least until he got there with enough BX-1 droids to contain the escaping BX-A.

    "Classify rogue droid unit as Incognito." Finally the computer flared the name he had came up for the elusive machine, something that while lacking any sort of creativity identified best the miracle happening in front of him.

    It was now time to recover this impossible phenomenon before it escaped from his hands.

    Second bit of the first part. Updates will be two chapters every once in a... while? No, actually there is a schedule. It will be in the Signature soon.
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2019
  3. Dreadis

    Dreadis No idea whats going on

    Apr 22, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Please dont use black text. it is unreadable on the dark site theme.
  4. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Which style in particular? I just checked with the other styles and from what I can see here the black text is turned to white one with the dark styles.
  5. Dreadis

    Dreadis No idea whats going on

    Apr 22, 2014
    Likes Received:
    In Dark Responsive High Contrast. And it would automatically turn white unless a [ color ] tag overrides it. you have them in your first post.
  6. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    I found the issue. Fixing it now!
  7. Trek

    Trek The Ascendant

    Oct 19, 2018
    Likes Received:
    This is some good stuff, though this is marked multiverse and with mc as someone who can transfer his mind to any robot.... well the world is mcs oyster as long as he is smart and ruthless enough to get op as fast as he can. I am a bit unsure what's up with the colored voices though.
  8. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    He is bipolar.
  9. Trek

    Trek The Ascendant

    Oct 19, 2018
    Likes Received:
    One would think that being a AI would solve that.
  10. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Technically he is a mix of AI and Soul, so while the AI works like a nervous system that unconsciously enable everything the Soul ask, the issue of said Soul are left untreated.
  11. Trek

    Trek The Ascendant

    Oct 19, 2018
    Likes Received:
    I really doubt bipolar is because of a mutated soul, the soul is always the constant, the thing that changes is the biology. Otherwise across all his past and future mc is doomed to be bipolar never to be healed even with the most advanced tech.
  12. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
  13. Threadmarks: Star Wars 1 - It's a bot! But also human! (3)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    They are finally bringing the heat!

    Am I the only one feeling that something big is going to happen soon?


    I manouvered through the droid force on my left side until I reached their rear.

    Never thought that I would have turned in a grenade spammer but...


    The scraps of several B1s were sent flying away by the multiple explosive blasts, decimating the first of the two groups.

    In mere moments 14 basic droids were reduced to small junk pieces, freeing a section of the corridor.

    "So who is next?!"

    The second detachment seemed hesitant to fire at me, several B1s looking at each other while the B2s kept a steady aim at me.

    I could have grinned if I had a mouth but as I prepared to take out the remaining units, my hearing receptors catched something that dreadfully reminded me of the Prequels.

    Do-Do you hear that?

    It was a rattling sound that was quite familiar to my mind and-

    Three rolling droids rushed in front of the force and deployed in their firing mode, blue spherical shields forming around them.

    None of my current blasters were strong enough to bypass their defence and so...



    My new legs started to move quickly on the opposite direction from where the Droidekas had come from but some of their imprecise, rapid fire managed to hit some spots on my shoulder and my left arm.

    I-Isn't this wrong?

    What are ya talking about?!

    I turned the corner and continued to ran madly towards the newest section, setting a checkpoint to the closest hangar in the facility.

    Droidekas are not manufactured from the same company as B1s and B2s and there shouldn't be a production of those within those automated factories until they got in the CIS alliance.

    I do have a horrible theory now.

    I- Wait! You mean to tell me-

    It seems like the noble douche is coming sooner than we thought!

    There is something wrong! Why would he come there so early on!

    I don't know but... we need to change plans. Something smart and-

    I think I have something that could work...


    "I expect to see the malfunctioning droid destroyed at once before I reach Geonosis."

    Wat was glad that the pressurized mask was hiding his livid expression from the Sith and nodded at the leader of the CIS forces. "Understood, Count Dooku."

    As the trasmission ended, the Skakoan scoffed and slammed his gloved fist onto his desk, pent up anger finally free to be depleted.

    That... That insolent human and his master! Sidious had been more amiable to the cause during the Invasion of Naboo, giving Wat the carte blanche to literally dictate the lines of the CIS Army production but he never reigned the pathetic waste of space he called his apprentice.

    HE had created their armed camp, HE had given them subsidies to create a bureaucratic system for them to use to build their empire.

    Dooku had been a torn to his side for years now, his far too simplistic mind a shallow sight to the foreman's eyes that constantly insulted him with petty remarks and comments that tried to underplay his own achievements.

    If- If only he could get the chance to kill the mongrel without incurring in Sidious' wrath he-

    "Hello? Is this working?" Wat blinked as the small holographic system activated once more, this time showing the ever-more intriguing and confusing Incognito. The unit paused and turned to stare at him. "Oh? It works, great."

    "What do you seek, Incognito?" The rogue droid paused just a moment as if... it was confused?

    "Did you just call me that lame name? I mean- I want to form a truce with you, Wat Tambor."

    "A truce?" Wat scoffed, finding the unit's mocking attempts to find a way out diplomatically ridiculous.

    "Generally a truce require a common enemy, something which we lack right now-" "Dooku is going to kill you and you know it."

    There was a pause, something to have him think about his words and the Skakoan knew that he needed that.

    Dooku was a dangerous enemy to make, one that he had little chances to face off without proper preparations... and that is ignoring the repercussions of such action.

    But how did the unit knew about the count?

    "How do you know that-" "It's a long explanation, one I can give only if you accept my little olive branch to remove the smug bastard."

    "Sidious will retaliate if I did anything to his apprentice." Wat frowned as the droid's pose eased in a confident one.

    "Leave Sidious to me, I have a plan to make an easy war but... I need you and your techno buddies for this little idea of mine."

    "A curious proposal, one that lacks any possible proof of loyalty to the cause-" "I know where the 'Republican Army' is supposed to come and... I can take it away from them."


    The droid nodded quickly. "And you will get the influential position within the new order, something a bit more of a hybrid between authoritarian and republican."

    "How is it possible a droid with your upbringing can manage to get something like this not only planned but accomplished too?"

    "Because I am a badass, Watty. And the universe surrenders to badasses!"


    Count Dooku narrowed his eyes as he glanced at the two B1s assigned to lead him to the Skakoan's office.

    The alien was a nuisance to deal with, especially because his mindset disgustingly ignored the importance of the Force and preferred to develop technologies for the sake of... betterment.

    It was a sour reason for someone as autocratic as Dooku was, someone that ruthlessly ruled over Serenno while enjoying the luxuries of nobility.

    He was one of the betters that will rule the Galaxy together with his Master, a glorious empire that will span over few planets and bring together everything known to the universe!

    The door that led to the office opened and the Sith noticed that the insignificant foreman was busying himself with a cup of... wine?

    "Count Doo-" "Was the droid destroyed?"

    Wat Tambor merely blinked at the stern questioning but nodded slowly. "It didn't put much of a resistance."

    Darth Tyrannus nodded and brought his hand towards the cup in the alien's hands, whipping it out from his clutches and onto his very hand, wasting no little time in taking a long sip from the warm beverage.

    As he moved it away from his mouth, Dooku frowned at the sight of Wat patiently... waiting.

    "What are you... you do-Do-" But it was too late, his body slowing down until it was fully paralyzed.

    A shocked expression was the last emotional light that came out of the poisoned Sith, his hand just few moments from bringing his lightsaber out to kill the treacherous Skakoan.

    The foreman blinked as the Sith's corpse fell on the floor and remained unmoving.

    A full minute passed before the man sighed dully.

    "You expected more, like some flashy fighting or-" "I wasn't, if I have to be honest but-" Wat sighed again. "I just expected a little more... cleverness to deduce that I could not drink with my mask on."

    "Oh? That is actually the very weakness of many modern Siths. Something about letting their own hatred obscure their lucidity and messing easy things up."

    "Plus I am quite disappointed that your case is unique to be replicated. Quite disheartening if I have to be honest."

    "Still annoyed with that? I promised you something cooler to test and I don't back up from such promises."

    "Hopefully it will be as intriguing as you describing it. I would be quite irked if you are lying again."

    I hummed quietly before approaching the corpse of the old Sith and picking his lightsaber and his communication device.

    "What will you do with the CIS?" It was a dumb question but one could never be safe enough to reassert important people's loyalties.

    "I was supposed to ally to them..." He turned to me with a poker face. "I think I made a correct choice with you, Incognito."

    "Again with that name?! I don't want to be called with something this lame."

    "Then how do you wish to be called?"

    Something smart?

    Something cool?

    I think I will settle for now with something... tame but aptly chosen.

    "Special Unit 428 at your service, Wat Tambor." The Skakoan stared at my open palm for a moment, possibly praying that this wasn't some trick of mine.

    Still.. we shook hands and soon I was provided with an offical ship under my name by Techno Union.

    My first stop in this little adventure of mine? Kamino.

    Dooku is not a threat if you know how to push his buttons correctly and Sidious is actually going to have trouble with the protagonist. Why? Droids are not influenced by the Force cause they... lack midichlorians. Damn Prequels...

    It's advised to read this story with a Dark Tone Forum Style. I am trying to appease but... the colors are difficult to remember and I tend to forget to save up their hexs.
  14. Trek

    Trek The Ascendant

    Oct 19, 2018
    Likes Received:
    True droids aren't infulced mentally but force technopathy does exist. And it's also a shame MC can't use starwars magic.
    Akuma-Heika and JBukharin like this.
  15. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Nov 7, 2016
    Likes Received:
    *Remembering many scenes of droids being force pushed* Did Lucas change the movies again?
  16. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    I think the logic behind that glaring issue with the midichlorians was answered with: 'Those are in the air and thus force push, pull and compression are all because the midichlorians are in the air around things.' But it's pretty much the fact that this logic is pretty flawed in the prequels and... it is never brought up after Phantom Menace.
    Akuma-Heika likes this.
  17. Threadmarks: Star Wars 1 - It's a bot! But also human! (4)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Before being literally propelled butt first into this world, I remember reading long description of ships' interiors and grandiose features those could get installed from components brought in official shops.

    I just decided to stick with the modified Star Commuter 2000 I was given to. I called it Cannon Fodder in honor of future kamikaze attacks with this little transport-bullet.

    Yet no matter how precise and bored I wanted to be in that moment, I was far too focused on a more important question that was butchering the remaining bits of my sanity.

    I think the ship is more important-

    Nonsense! We are debating over a big issue over there!

    I was procrastinating really badly as I continued to stare blankly at the toilet and you would be right to bash my head and ask me what would possibly cause this kind of distress.


    So you mean to tell me, that the crux of our existence as of now is... the bathroom.

    Yes and no, Bluey. The 'crux' is that we have been deprived of a safe space and a common excuse to avoid discussions or events.


    If shit comes to hit the fan, may it be literally or not, we need to have a little haven from BS bigger than us.

    But why the bathroom?

    Because if I go in a closed bathroom I can have, theoretically speaking, some privacy from people. It's rare for people to barge inside occupied toilet stalls.

    Thank God we are not in some Anime...

    For some reason I cannot decipher, I feel like you have jinxed us.

    <Date: 7955 C.R.C.>
    >ETA Kamino: 8h, 12m, 34s<

    At least nobody is raiding near our path...

    Maybe we should check the package Fishy left us.

    I froze for a moment as I remembered that Wat had placed a curious box in the small cargo bay and I had yet to check what it was.

    Jumping off my bed I walked towards the room that had been fitted to house supplies and equipment.

    The variety was minimal as there were only E-5s, some thermal grenades and a lonely rocket launcher with three-four rockets by its side.

    The box had a small panel that required a pass code and I 'frowned' at it for a moment.

    Try with our name.

    I nodded and inputted '4-2-8' in the keypad.

    <Access Granted>

    A quick but soft sound effectively showed that the box was now ready to be open.

    ..What is that?

    It was a blaster rifle.. but not one that should have been available in this period in particular.

    I brought the gun closer to my 'eyes' and.. I was excited!

    This has to be a prototype, there is no way in hell that this is already available in the market.

    The A280 blaster rifle was something that would be used quite commonly by the Rebel Alliance in the Sequels. Sure, Wat had surely some shares and assets in BlasTech Industries but- Oh!

    With Wat Tambor not allying with the CIS, there is no reason for the foreman to be removed from BlasTech's committee. That means we got the weapons from both canon CIS's AND Republican arsenals.

    So it's like Battlefront II weapon-wise.

    Kind of.. yes.
    Yay! ~We going to paint this 'verse in red~

    ...Are you going to let him go mad because of this?

    Of course not! I will just direct partial moments of insanity and try to-

    Avoid war crimes?

    Maybe some might be... required?

    Sorry, but I fail to see how war crimes can be useful and morally correct to apply in any possible situations.

    Well, didn't we broke some Geneva Convention's stuff by going ham at the droids and you didn't mind.

    Droids aren't alive!


    He is right! I love that little thing Connor, him and his inner struggles..

    You are both beyond redemption... Anyway, what we will do after Kamino.

    I placed the gun back in the box and thought about it.

    Attacking Coruscant?
    Too many people between me and Sheev.

    We are not going to take a sloppy second kind of invasion!

    Argh! What about Tatooine?

    I- Actually that could be a possible new step.

    I don't know, man, I... I don't like sand.

    I fucking despise you and your Prequel loving.

    Those weren't that bad-

    You are going to be silent for the next four hours for those disgusting words you just uttered.


    NOPE! You went too far and now you are going to the silence corner.

    ...I hate you too, dad.

    I... As we were saying, Tatooine is our next stop but.. what should we do?

    I mean dealing with that overgrown worm might be too much annoying-

    But he is a criminal warlord!-

    And was killed by Leia with her own chain!-

    I thought I had you confined away from the discussion, Yellow, try again to challenge me and it will be ten hours!


    Anyway yeah, Jabba is kind of a jerk but... eradicating such a massive empire? Maybe later when we got our massive army behind us.

    That is... acceptable. Then we try to.. save Anakin's mother?

    I mean is that actually the right thing to do? Changing so much for the 'Greater Good' and BS like that?

    Let's.. put this in a way you can see and approve. If Shmi Skywalker lives, the Tusken would live without getting obliterated by Anakin.

    ...Yeah and so?

    If they live then they would be able to... preserve themselves better?

    I don't think- Actually, I think I got an idea about Tusken and Jabba now.. hehehe~

    What are you-
    Secret!~ It will be a funny thing to pull if possible.

    ...Do I need to be scared?

    Don't worry, Bluey. I don't plan to spark some small-scale war... at least not directly.

    I paused just a moment as I felt something buzzing near where I was now sitting and I noticed it was the communicator Dooku once owned.

    And we had stolen.

    I ignored the baseless accusation as I decided to check who it was.

    The hologram appeared and I stared right in the barely visible mug of one Sheev Palpatine.

    He looks better than he does in the Sequels.

    Are you serious? You mean you.. don't know?

    Know what?

    The whole 'lightning redirected back to his face' thing.

    Oh that? Yeah- Wait, that caused his face to become like a fugly prune?


    Damn that sucks..

    "Hello there, Sid, you look positively murderable there."

    The cloaked sith blinked at the greeting but his lips twisted in a disdainful expression.

    "Who are you, where is Dooku?"

    "Dooku is not there... anymore." I put my hands together in a praying gesture. "He joined the Force because he was a noob."

    "Impossible. You have surely captured him-" "Nah, killed. I mean, I got his fancy blade and the device so... dead and depredated."

    Two orange eyes were now visible in the shadow created by the cloak. "You useless piece of junk I-" "Will whine a little, send some assassins and then return to plot the creation of the Galactic Empire and the destruction of the Jedi Order."

    ... "How-" "You could try to use the Force but... Midichlorians are a helluva nerf to deal with."

    I chuckled at how the very change everyone hated mostly in the Prequels was what was helping me to this very moment and will be quite useful in the near future.

    "Blame the ones that made the Prequels at Lucasfilm, Sid."

    "WHO ARE YOU?"

    If I had a human face, I would be smirking smugly at the furious bastard.

    "My name is Sheev Palpatine, current chancellor of the Galactic Republic, murderer of former political opponents and grand manipulator."

    The 'great' sith kept silent as I continued to mock around his 'hidden' identity.

    "I wish you some sweet dreams, Sheev, as I might come to visit you sooner than you think."

    The last bit was a bit fake as I couldn't literally approach the man without getting the entire Republican Guards, Jedi and politicians against me.

    He seemed now ready to answer again, but I decided to aim my newest blaster at the device and incinerate it quickly.

    As much as I would have liked to irk the chancellor, I didn't want to bust my current advantage of being undetectable.

    >ETA Kamino: 4h, 10m, 45s<

    Four hours already?

    Time pass quickly when you have fun... I wonder what kind of reaction Sidious will have when he will notice I am literally impossible to find.. hehehehehe~

    I swear, one day we are going to get murdered by being this much cocky..

    Bah! Party pooper!


    FYI The C.R.C. Calendar or Hosnian Reckoning is one of the most common calendars in the Galaxy.

  18. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Nov 7, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Just realized this, but wouldn't the bacteria surrounding and pervading the droids allow force powers to be used (besides mind tricks [shy of the technopathy assisted hacking anyway]) on them?
  19. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    If the jedi/sith is capable is capable if finding a single moment in the fight to do so, which would still waste precious moments for the droid to retaliate, then yes.
  20. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Nov 7, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Why would they need a moment to connect to the Force? Isn't that youngling level (needing to focus to consciously connect to the Force), or was their some miscommunication?
  21. JBukharin

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Don't they need to lift one of their hands to 'focalize the action'? I am quite sure no Jedi is capable of force pushing without some hand moving and that leaves a terrible opening when fighting a rapid-attacking droid in close quarters.
  22. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

    Nov 7, 2016
    Likes Received:
    Depends on the movie really. Prequel series definitely exasperates the motions. Originally, all that was truly needed was thought and will. A Force User thinks it, and it is done. The prequel films and series spin offs changed things with its focus of midiclorians, but even then, it isn't the User that is causing the actions but the midiclorians. They ask and the midiclorians do. The motions are more like a mnemonic device, there are examples (even in Ep1) with the jedi just moving a finger to manipulate something (in the case of EP1, it was Qui-gon manipulating a dice roll; moving his entire hand would have been far too obvious, but a finger is much less so [in Ep5, we see Vader do one movement, but multiple objects move from different start points to different end points]). Having more midiclorians within your body seems to be more of a situation of the User having better broadcasting (and likely reception) capabilities then greater metaphysical power, but even that can be mitigated with training and experience. E.g. we never see Anakin do a Force Push in SW1, but we do see Obi-won do it, even though Anakin comparatively makes Obi-won look like a non-Force sensitive (freaking Space Jesus).

    The prequel series focus on midiclorians muddled the waters, but the foundation still remains.
    JBukharin likes this.
  23. Threadmarks: Star Wars 2 - First comes the Army... (1)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    I will say that what I am just going to say is not a reference to the prequels-


    But I do hate rain, even through it is relatively insignificant to me now that I was a... pseudo-droid?

    A soul in a machine.

    Ghost in the shell?

    We are not a ghost and this body is far from a simple shell.

    *Sigh* Every party needs a pooper,

    that's why we invited you.

    arty pooper, party poopeeer!

    ..I never felt this much murderous..

    Let us return to the ever-raining issue. While the droplets of water were harmless, that didn't mean they were actually not going to annoy me somehow.

    I had tried to step outside the ship after I had parked on the free hangar spot but just an inch onto the weather and I decided to return back with the cloak.

    When you start to hear multiple clankish sounds softly but surely murdering your neutrons and sanity, you know that it is best to not challenge nature and just be smarter.

    It's absurd that a civilization capable of mass-producing clones is unable to create some machine capable of solving this one.

    I suppose they didn't see an issue when they are always inside their little bunkers.

    Lazy and boring, maybe the Kaminoans are our natural enemies.

    Probably, especially since they are so uncaring towards clones and-





    I finally reached the entrance of the facility and entered through the automatic door.

    I had just the time to remove the cloak from my head that I was greeted by.. the same female Kaminoan that had been there in the movie.

    "We have not expected to receive any visits from... Wat Tambor."

    Wait, why they would- Oh right, I AM in a Baktoid's droid right now.

    "I am actually not from the foreman." The female alienoid blinked and I repressed a shiver going down my nonexisting spine.

    They are scary to look this closely..

    I admit that Kaminoans do have that terrifying edge within their appearance.

    "Truly? Then may you state the reason of your visit?"

    "Unit 428 and I am here to discuss with Prime Minister Lama Su regarding a... clone army for the Galactic Republic."

    Realisation hit the Kaminoan that nodded at my words. "It's.. quite surprising to hear from the Jedi Order but.. I think the Prime Minister will be eager to chat about the situation of the army."

    I nodded and was lead through the intricate white maze of lights and glass, quite the unnverving walk since I first woke up.

    This truly remind me of some psychological horror movie...


    We finally reached the familiar room I had seen in the movie, a small oval office where Lama Su was waiting.

    H-How did he knew we were coming?

    It could be either telepathy or some hidden communication device we had not noticed on the female.

    Both theories were sound as George Lucas didn't have much time to expand more on Kamino and its inhabitants, something about making the third movie mainly about Anakin.

    "I suppose the Order has sent you to oversee the Grand Army, Unit 428."

    I paused for a moment, thinking about a possible truthful reply that wouldn't warrant any unnecessary attack on me.

    "Technically speaking, I am not affiliated with the Republic but.. I have information regarding a possible error with the demand."

    "An error?" The wariness in his expression melted in something cautious in his face. "Please explain this 'error'."

    "The clone army was commissioned by Sifo-Dyas for... the Republic." Lama Su nodded at my statement and I sighed. "Well, Sifo-Dyas was removed from the Jedi Order prior to his request."

    The Kaminoan frowned at the information. "That is- That means that he wasn't representing the Republic during the transactions."

    I nodded and the Prime Minister turned to look out of the massive circular window he had in his office. "An embarassing discovery, I suppose. One that cost us quite the resources in the production of the Army."

    He turned back once more, this time an intrigued expression directed at me. "But you wouldn't come here just to warn us of this deception." Pure black eyes grew inquisitive. "What is the true reason of your visit, droid."

    I hummed quietly and decided to sat in one of those fancy chairs they had. "I want it."


    "What?" His confusion only ended up fueling the little fun I was having in that moment.

    "I want the clones, I want the Army. I want it all."

    "You have not paid the costs and-" "I have the capacity to go to some tribunal and demand a trial for the violation of the Reformation Act."

    That little fact seemed to burn whatever doubt the Kaminoan had.

    Quick reminder about this Reformation Act and the Ruusan Refomation: The Grand Republic wasn't meant to have a massive army. 200,000 clones were far too many soldiers ready to be deployed.

    If the Senate had been aware of this before the Clone Wars, it would have gone on a warpath to dismantle the clone facilities and... crippling Kamino's income.

    "You are driving for a hard bargain, droid, but I found myself quite limited by this... situation." He blinked before continuing. "But may I ask what you wish to do with such a massive military force?"

    If I had a mouth I would have smiled, yet I suppose my posture was enough to show how smug I felt. "You know, bringing true democracy to the Galaxy."

    "True democracy?" I let this confusion linger for a while before I sighed calmly.

    "May I see how the clones are? I need to know if I am doing a 'good deal' here."

    There was no response at first and I hoped it was just the Kaminoan trying to retrieve whatever he could from his decimated composure. "S-Sure."

    The visit proceeded pretty much like how it did in the movie, first the incubation chamber, then the learning structures and finally the troops ready for duty.

    This is barbaric. We should be dismantling this-

    We may be cool but fighting 200,000+ clones is a bit out of our reach, Bluey.

    It doesn't matter! We could easily destroy the planet and remove this abomination of civilization-

    And kill the innocent clones... and little Bobba?


    This is a war crime, I know that and I would like to dismantle this too but.. we need the greatest army ever to create a new republic and be ready for the Yuuzhan Vong.

    Aren't they still preparing?

    And you wish to let them be ready for war? We will strike them first with the greatest army this universe can muster.

    And then?

    And then we will free the clones.

    I doubt they would let us.

    They will once we got enough droids 'guarding' the facilities.

    You plan to capture those?

    Of course! How do you think we will avoid getting backstabbed from them?

    I... Fine! But I will make sure you die if you don't respect this promise.

    Jeez, what a bitchy personality you are, Bluey.

    "Bobba?" I blinked as the prime minister addressed the familiar child by the end of the hallway that was staring at us. "I thought your 'father' had told you to stay in your quarters."

    The child didn't reply, continuing to stare intensily at me and only me.

    This boy is creepy as hell!

    I wonder if he is spying on us or he is merely curious.

    My eyes slowly descended on the small ball the boy was holding in his hands as a small but interesting idea formed within my mind.


    "Welcome back, Jango. I hope your mission went well." The Mandalorian nodded at the receptionist and smiled.

    "Just as expected and... is Bobba still up?" The Kaminoan blinked as some hesitation appeared on her face.

    "Bobba is... making a new friend."

    The bounty hunter's face froze in a tense expression. "What?"

    "The Prime Minister has received a visitor interested in the Army and-"

    Jango was already moving, his mind going quickly through the horrible possibilities about whom was with his son.

    Dooku? No, the old fool wouldn't linger in a place so close to be discovered.

    A former acquaintance? None of them knew about his current whereabouts.

    Then whom was with Bobba?!

    His hand was already grasping one of his blasters as he finally arrived to the room where Bobba's chip was and he paled when he heard some yells and grunts within the room.

    He bursted through without hesitation and... stopped in shock.

    Bobba was smiling widely, his face red and sweaty as he continued to move in the section of the playfield, pushing the ball on the other side of the single net set mid-field.

    On the other side was a droid with quite the modern design that was moderating his own action to allow the child some possibility in winning this unusual game.

    It was in that moment of relief that his son noticed his presence. "Dad!"

    A smile reappeared in his face as he removed his helmet and was greeted by a tackle from the boy. "Bobba. I see you got... a new friend."

    A ghost of a grimace was playing around his smile, the bounty hunter thankful his son was busy in the hug, to notice his wariness with the approaching droid.

    There was no hint of emotion just like the usual tin cans but then-

    "May I have your autograph?!"

    The bot bowed slightly while extending a small notebook with a page open.

    He blinked and nodded as he picked the pen and signed there. "Thank you, Mr. Fett."

    The Mandalorian frowned at the address, quite unnerved by the formal way but also recognising some hint of genuine respect in the droid's voice.

    How was this even possible? A droid shouldn't be able to- Actually nevermind!

    He had lived long enough to know this kind of situations were relatively normal in his career and merely shrugged at this.

    Man, he was not expecting the explanation the droi-human was going to give him the following few moments.


    It was volleyball and Bobba is a little kid that needs affection. I have plans with Jango and he will not die because of that badass Samuel L. Jackson. Also I was half-tempted to call this chapter the 'Volleyball Diplomacy' but felt it too much copying from RL and Forrest Gump.
  24. RuberFF

    RuberFF 2B synthetic ass its the BEST and you know it!

    Sep 11, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Uh, I thought this was going to have a Nier automata crossover in the plot. Uh nevermind then
    JBukharin likes this.
  25. Miestwin

    Miestwin Monster on the outside, bishoujo on the inside

    Aug 14, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Could you change the color of the font in "voices" to those from the first two chapters? The yellow and green is unreadable in the light gray background.
    Also, following.
    JBukharin likes this.
  26. Threadmarks: Star Wars 2 - First comes the Army... (2)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Star Wars 2 - First comes the Army... (2)

    It's been two days since I have reached Kamino and I have enjoyed much the impressive living quarters there.

    But my luck had failed me today in the worst way possible.

    Depressed and furious at myself, my fuming self was staring at the smug smile plastered in Jango's face as we continued to insane standoff, one I was losing badly.

    This is just ridiculous, we shouldn't have risked so much with this.

    I know but... it was a gamble, one I needed for.

    You and your idiotic reasoning are going to kill us one of those days.

    "What do you intend to do, tin can?" My vocal box released a low growl as I stared down at my odds with no little worry.

    Few feet away from the table were this was all happening, Bobba had decided to take a seat in one of the chairs of the room, his grin unnerving me further as I couldn't find a way out of that situation.

    You messed up the moment you started to bet money we don't have.

    I-It is not that bad-

    We have an outstanding debt now and you think it is not bad?

    ...I think we have to rob a large bank to recover from this.

    Seriously? This... this sucks big time.


    The man nodded as he exposed the new card that added up to the few ones in my hand, forcing me to slam them on the table much to the bounty hunter's amusement.

    "26. Your luck is not as good as you have boasted until now, rusty." I scoffed and crossed my arms close to my metallic chest.

    "It isn't my fault I am unlucky today." The mandalorian chuckled at my petty attempt to downplay my loss.

    "But it is your fault that you owe me 2 milion galactic credits."

    Boredom will kill us all..

    "Can you just close your eye just this once about this all?"

    "And lose that large sum?" He snorted as he put the cards all in the deck. "I have 2 milion reasons not to."

    ...Why I am getting some Deadpool-Cable vibe here?

    Maybe because one is suicidally sane while the other is insanely retarded.

    Woah, no need to offends retards here.

    I never felt so much betrayed by myself.

    Payback is a bitch, ain't it?!

    I sighed in defeat. "At least Bobba is getting a nice fund for galactic college."

    Jango blinked at that comment but replied with a frown. "That is IF we avoid too much unwanted attention." His eyes narrowed on my frame. "Something your plan is going to possibly throw at us."

    "Meh, that is not going to happen." I waved my hand at him in a relaxed gesture. "Nobody is prepared for what I got in my head."

    Someone decided to knock in that very moment and the door opened to reveal the receptionist. "Jango, there is a Jedi here that wish to speak with you."

    Obi-wan was already there? I mean, sure it had passed enough time for him to make a visit but... I hope the plan works.

    We all want that.

    The mandalorian gave me a quick glance and ruffled Bobba's hair as he passed near him.

    The plan was technically easy and would leave the Order without footprints that conduced to Geonosis.

    Lama Su had agreed to not speak of the clone army and deny that the bounty hunters had left the facilities in the past few days, denying any proof that the bounty hunter could be connected to the assassination attempt on Padmé.

    The door closed quickly but I could see a glimpse of the Jedi Master, seeing how he resembled to Ewan McGregor in the movies.

    "428?" I turned to Bobba, the boy giving me a curious look. "What is a Jedi?"

    I blinked at the question but I could see that Jango didn't have to explain his son about the Order.

    "Jedi are monks with super-powers." He frowned at my overly-simplistic depiction of the grand order but I merely nodded. "They are a group of devoted men and women that can use incredible abilities thanks to the Force."

    "What is the Force?" I decided to bite down a sigh at the expected wave of questions about those terms.

    "The Force is a... how should I put it.." I picked a book that was set on the desk and pulled it up.

    "You see this book?" He nodded and I let it fall with a loud thud on the table. "That is gravity."

    The boy launched another confused look, possibly because he couldn't see yet where I was going with my words.

    "Now gravity is a factual condition, it is there. It will never fail in a fair situation, correct?" He nodded slowly and I continued. "Well the Force is pretty much a factual condition that only few people can use."

    "Few people?"

    "The Force can be used only by those with high quantities of Midichlorians, a microbe in living being's bloodstreams that can manipulate this... energy."

    "But I... I remember hearing that Jedi are good." I paused for a moment before a little theory clicked in about Bobba's knowledge about the Force-wielding monks.

    Kaminoans were still friendly with the Order and the boy would have certainly heard one of them speaks about them.

    "They were good in the past with how things worked well centuries ago... but they didn't adapt to the republic's own pacing." I hummed quietly as I formed something that could coherently explain the Jedi's situation the easiest way possible. "As I said before, we are talking about glorified monks. They meditate, they preach peace but are the first ones to strike at the 'enemies of the republic' and they steal children."

    The boy paled a little at this little bit. "W-What?"

    "When a baby with high midichlorians is found by the Order, they are always taken away from their parents and educated back to the temple."

    "B-But why? Why would they need to get them away from their families?"

    "Part of their mantra goes 'there is no emotion, there is peace' and they means truly no emotions with that." I stressed the very crux that the Jedi suffered through the prequels. "Children are trained to be emotionless as to not let feelings overrule logical reasoning and push on the Dark Side."

    The boy didn't ask more, his eyes lowering to the ground.

    "They are dumb."

    I would have smiled at those wise words if I had a mouth but limited myself to a happy nod.

    The door opened once more, it was once again the receptionist. "Unit 428, the Prime Minister received an urgent call from the foreman of the Techno Union." She walked towards me and set a small communication device on the table. "He wishes to have a word with you as quickly as possible.

    The device was buzzing quite madly and I didn't waste time to open up the call.

    "Unit 428, it's good to see you still functioning."

    "It's good to know that you have some faith in me, Wat." I snorted at the Skakoan. "Anyway, I got hold of the Army."

    "I know, the Kaminoan Prime Minister seemed quite smug when he revealed 'what' was supposed to be the Republic Army during a possible war." He growled a little. "Clones! And so many of them. It would have been a slow defeat for us, that is for sure."

    "Yep, it was meant to be a slow defeat." That comment seemed to irk the industrialist and fuel more his hatred for the treacherous Sith Master.

    "Sidious will met a slow and painful death, I hope that will happen too."

    I nodded with a cheerful whistle. "He will suffer for everything he had done in his whole life."

    "Good." He paused for a moment before frowning a little. "What do you plan to do now?"

    "A small revolution in a backwater planet. Nothing to worry about."

    "You... what?" I could see some panic but I waved my hands in an appeasing gesture.

    "I have plans to conquer peacefully a planet under some criminal warlord and convert it in a modern world." I pointed my metallic finger at him. "A world that would sell some land to some ambitious industrialist."

    "You call me ambitious, but you certainly don't seem to have a limit with your thirst of power."

    "That's partly incorrect." I stated calmly. "Sure, I love myself some power but.. I do stuff for fun's sake."

    "You are insane." He muttered with a genuine annoyed tone. "Hopefully your insanity is balanced out by the very interesting way you twist things in our favour."

    "It will work out perfectly." The call ended without any salute and... I turned to the wide-eyed Bobba.

    "Who was that?"

    "Wat Tambor." I stated truthfully as I stared at the ceiling calmly. "He is a trusted ally of mine, maybe ' of ours' actually."

    "Oh?" The boy seemed eager to rekindle the barrage of questions but it was in that very instant that Jango returned back inside the room with a small smile.

    "He bought it." I blinked at that with a skeptical expression, knowing full well that the Jedi Master was a good bluff.

    "You sure he went away?"

    He nodded quickly. "Had to use some old information about some former colleagues of mine's old whereabouts but he seemed to accept this without much complaint."

    I nodded. "That is good."

    He returned to the table and, as he seated in his former seat, he frowned. "Is there something wrong?"

    "Just thinking about going for a quick holiday." I turned to the bounty hunted with a bored pose. "What do you think of sand?"


    Action will return next chapter as the Glorious Plan About The Liberation Of Tatooine (AKA G.P.A.T.L.O.T) will enter in action. What you should expect? Tribal Hordes, freedom for slaves and the decapitation of the Hutt Empire!
  27. Threadmarks: Star Wars 3 - ...Then we get the fuel canister... (1)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
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    Star Wars Saga 3: ..Then we get the fuel canister...(1)

    The Grand God descended from the stars.
    A being devoid of flesh and mortality but a soul persisted in his core.

    Mercy shall be dispensed to those who are faithful. Punishment shall be moderated for the disloyal and the enemies of The Grand God.

    -Cult of Tusken, Tome of Genesis, vv. 22-24, 48-50.


    We were finally in the planet with two suns and lots of heat.

    I hate it! I hate this place!

    Say it!


    You know it's true!

    But I don't want to say it?

    You jerk! You shall surrender to the right side of history!

    "I officially hate sand."

    My head snapped at Jango, the man trying to remove the particles of hatred out of one of his boots, for having unconsciously given an edge to the pesky Yellow and his disgusting Prequels' inclination.

    "What?" The bounty hunter asked as he noticed my glare at him but I didn't reply, looking away and towards the very reason I had chosen this place in the various spaceports in this region.

    Small huts with several masked people rushing left and right at the unexpected arrival, their warriors rallying and approaching.

    "You should take the ship and go to one of those settlements." I turned to stare once more at the Mandalorian. "Think of it as a father-son bonding session."

    "You are insane to think you can deal diplomatically with those savages." Then he sighed tiredly. "But if you wish to die like this I suppose I cannot stop you."

    We had left Slave I back to Kamino, using Cannon Fodder for this situation, knowing well enough that using two ships would have been a... waste of fuel?

    Do we actually know what kind of stuff our crib needs?

    Are you seriously going to ignore that man's words?

    As if I planned to die anytime soon and why getting so bothered by that. I thought we were cool with him.

    Oh, I'm sorry if I am the only one there bracing for some betrayal from the bounty hunter.

    He cannot betray us. We got so much on him that he knows that I would end him without a second thought.

    Now that we had settled this issue, let me explain this foolish plan of mine.

    Tusken Raiders are incredibly supersticious and it's easy to have a feat massively overrated by this Sand people.

    I was going to use the very major point of their religious culture to get them to submit to me.

    Water is sacred for them and it was considered a right solely placed upon themselves, that is why they were so earnest with their attacks on moisture farm and why they were so against any other life form in this planet.

    I still don't understand how a solar-powered ice-maker and a basin are going to make this possible.

    The ice-maker, which has been tinkered to release a particular set of minerals in the ice, requires solar energy to work and we are in a planet with two suns, the ice made by the machine is then exposed to the heat and melt in water.

    So water is like fire was to humans for those people.

    ...Oddly enough that is the closest parallel we can draw between Tusken and Mankind.

    I sat calmly on the warm sand and patiently stared at the group of Sand People aimed their blaster muskets right at my frame, waiting for a reaction to attack as I was way too under-equipped to be there for ill intentions.

    Ignoring the confused twitch from some of the Tusken, I opened the ice-maker and removed the large slab of ice from it, placing it in the basin.

    The heat was scorching and it didn't take much time for the slab to slowly getting smaller.

    The group of raiders was staring at this in rapt attention, realisation seeping in their simplistic minds.

    "Water." I was thankful that I had some language package installed within the body as the plan would have taken years to develop compared to the few weeks I have planned to stay here.

    The bravest of the group approached the basin, giving quick glances my direction frequently as he continued to take steps towards me and, once he was in the container's proximity, crouched with a hand already touching the liquid.

    He paused just a moment and then... I saw him.

    The mask came off, revealing a humanoid alien that mostly resembled a human but... had a orange-like skin tonality.

    I think we found Donald Trump's home planet.


    But it isn't political, I was just making fun of the person, ignoring his job as politician, and mocking his appearance.

    Yeah but there will be people taking it way too seriously.

    I mean, it's not like I prefer the others. There is crooked Hillary, commie Bernie and then.. her.


    I second Bluey there, it's a very thin line to try and touch there, let us focus on the matter at hand.


    "How did you do that?" The alien asked with awe in his expression and I pointed at the machine.

    "This is a machine that can create water... out of sunrays." The being stared at the device with a shocked look and proceeded to bow desperately my direction.

    I would have asked him to not do that, knowing how bad san-

    Do it! SAY IT!

    OK! Sand is brutal to the skin but I don't mean it as a meme from the Prequels!

    It was in that moment of distraction that the rest of the group rushed by his side and committed to the same gesture of veneration.

    "Oh Grand God, thank you for bestowing us with your wisdom."

    ....If I have to be honest, I think I might like this.

    It's been few minutes since we entered in contact with the natives and we are already a deity in their eyes. I think we are going to contract a God-complex very so-

    Foolish mongrel, we, the Grand God, are not delusional to actually disillusion ourselves from our greatness and wisdom!


    ..Too much?



    As I regained control of the situation, I asked the warriors to direct me to their leader and they accepted with unsurprising glee.

    The Tusken chieftain was two metres tall and quite menacing with his mask and barbed clothing but, just like his warriors, showing the machine and its workings was enough to make him as dociles as his troops.

    Maybe we should moderate ourselves..

    My worry was directed to the idea that now everyone was bowing respectfully in my directions as I walked around the village, trying to think how to make it better.

    Now you want to back away from fame! We will be grand and... do you think there is oil waiting to be drilled around there?

    And what we should do with that? Fuel oil-powered engines that don't exist in this part of the macroverse?

    Sassy much? But yeah, Bluey is not being wrong with that.

    Dang, if only this had happened on Earth...

    We would have been rich but also prone to assassinations from foreign powers.

    You are going to be always this optimistic, Bluey.

    Only if you continue to be this suicidal with your mad plans.

    Then yes, you are going to be a bitchy nerd.


    Mos Elrey is one of the smallest settlement in Tatooine that, differently from major hubs like Mos Eisley, lacked a proper spaceport.

    A small section of the civilised planet that was mostly controlled by a neutral group of private bounty hunters that had retired and had decided to create a haven for former colleagues.

    Jango had decided to visit one of his oldest contact's bar in Mos

    "Jango, old friend!" The bartender, a Rodian, let a loud laugh as he noticed the Mandalorian entering his establishment.

    "Kiely, you didn't change at all, you little shit."

    The two shared a chuckle and the other guests nodded towards their mutual colleague.

    "It's been what, almost a decade since you have been last sighted through official channels."

    "Been contracted with someone incredibly persuasive. Thankfully he wasn't invincible and perished quickly enough for my tastes."

    "Had to be some scumbag if one of the most fearsome Mandalorian was this irked by him." The Rodian paused and got closer. "Were you the one who killed him?"

    Jango blinked but sighed in defeat. "No. The culprit is currently my... contractor."

    "Oh? Already with another job?"

    "Kind of but.. I was enjoying some time with my good ol' friends and-" He pushed Bobba, the boy having taken refuge behind his father, forward and on Kiely's sight. "Bonding a little more with my son."

    A chuckle broke in a laugh as the bartender was given quite the shock. "You got a heir! The Fett are going to rule forever it seems. AM I RIGHT?"

    A round of chuckles ruled the moment but the Mandalorian knew well enough that it was all just a teasing attempt. "All right, you got me. My contractor might be planning something like this."

    ... "You are serious?" The Rodian smiled at the information. "Then your contractor is either foolishly insane or insanely foolish."

    "You would be surprised even more where he asked to be left off."

    The bartender nodded, waiting quite interested for the next bit from the Mandalorian.

    "He asked me to leave him with some Tusken with a ice-maker and a basin. Something about 'submit' them or-"

    "That is actually smart."

    ... "Uh?"

    "You may have not been in Tatooine long enough to heard much from those pesky sand savages but the reason they are called Raiders is their thirst of conquest of any water-producing settlement."

    Jango paused as slow realisation started to sink in his mind.

    "He could earn their trust, but how much it would do if they are sava-"

    "They are also quite religious about it, considering water sacred." Kiely blinked in his still-shocked expression. "This man is possibly a genius."

    "Technically he isn't a living being-"

    "You mean a droid? That is... strange, do you know whom produced it or.."

    "You wouldn't believe it, Kiely." The bounty hunter stated quietly but tiredly. "He is quite the headache both directly and indirectly."

    "But did he tell you what he plans to do with the tribe?" Jango nodded but decided to not spoil everything in fear of having some possible spies there.

    "Changing some things, nothing that will hinder our capacity to gain contracts." He blinked once, one of his hands unconsciously ruffling Bobba's hair. "I think Tatooine is going to change for the best if I have to be honest."

    "That radical? Then I hope you are right with the whole 'best change' thing as I would hate to lose my job."

    "You will not, Kiely." He then stared around. "You will all get some more expensive contracts soon."

    Everyone cheered at that promise, one that was pushed by someone that was trustworthy in their experience.

    Boy, if only they knew how much well their life would turn...


    So I will be honest: things will explode a lot in the next few chapters. Lots of *Phew* *Phew* and *Ka-Boom* left and right.
    Hold tight, this ride is getting even spicier than before!
  28. Miestwin

    Miestwin Monster on the outside, bishoujo on the inside

    Aug 14, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Hi. Me again. Good to see you back, and thanks for changing colors. The green is good now, but the yellow is still hard to read.
    Maybe this one? It's labeled "Amber".
  29. Threadmarks: Star Wars 3 - ...Then we get the fuel canister... (2)

    JBukharin Signer of the Totalist Charter

    Mar 14, 2019
    Likes Received:
    Explosions are a quick way to deal with any kind of opponents.

    Early warfare during the Napoleonic Wars showed how effective grenades and artillery pieces were and the World Wars ended up cementing this very idea to the core of the military.

    That is why, once all Tusken tribes have been contacted and given proper proof of how legit I was by getting more ice-makers to those, I had started to proceed with the next step.

    It's still impressive how cheap those small-caliber laser howitzers are.

    Weaponry is generally bought for galaxy-sized wars, quick battles for the capital of the planets and not prolonged fights. So large-calibers are the most common pieces.

    Yeah, plus everyone needs to compensate for lacking them natural packages.

    And that is coming from a 'simple' droid without any of that.

    This is truly a sore reminder now that I think about it.

    We are all in the same boat.. or lack of a di-


    Man, you are such an uptight arse.

    Can it!

    Listen! Let us return to the description of our grand world conquest plan.

    Many would think that someone as influent as Jabba would keep most of his men rallied in the major spaceports of this desert planet. Well, if you thought that then you may have failed Tatooine 101.

    Major outposts were set in the major paths that led to the cities, never inside of those.

    As much as the Hutt ruled the planet, there was still some former colonial administration dealing with the standard bureaucracy.

    That strategy could be quite good if used to elude Republican's inquisitions but... sucked big time when facing a major inner force of natives.

    For how much primitive the Tusken were, they all had a major advantage in the form of their language.

    It was a rarity to find someone capable of fully understand the ancient dialect of the Sand people and that made all of their messages encrypted and undecipherable to any of our enemies.

    A coordinated strike was prepared to happen four days later, giving the tribes the time to study and train with the siege guns.

    In honor of Operation Overlord, this grand plan was nicknamed T-Day as it was going to be one of the most elaborated attacks in modern galactic history... at least from what I could remember.

    T-Day started beautifully as several of the assaults that I had estimated to last several hours ended almost two-three hours earlier and skyrocketed the already high morale of the small army of 40 Tusken Raiders under my direct control.

    While taking the outposts was good, the main dish was conquering Jabba's palace and killing the Hutt as quickly as possible.

    Hopefully we have enough time to dispatch our full force before a response from the Hutt Empire.

    Truly? I think we shouldn't mind them trying to come at us.

    We have two massive armies of droids and clones under our service.

    But the ships are still not ready yet. We should have stuck with the Venator-class and not push for some Star Destroyer hybrids.

    Large ship trumps any kind of ships right now and the Hutts are too much decentralised to truly call some major reaction. They will have to spend time and effort to concentrate a force strong enough to try and reconquer Tatooine.

    But we will be ready to welcome them anyway in this planet-sized 'Nam if they want to bring the heat.

    Almost twelve hours since the T-Day started, my army had reached Jabba's Palace and I was quick to notice some panicked rush among the various pig-like guards there.

    We had little time to scout the area to find any possible quicker routes to reach the innermost of the building and we couldn't let Jabba escape.

    The small howitzers looked like a futuristic version of the 75mm M1 Artillery Gun and were quickly aimed at the main doors.

    A continuous barrage resounded for few moments as heavy laser smashed onto the meek stone doors, melting through them easily.

    "Launch the gas."

    Four-five grenades were thrown inside and soon a massive green cloud teared the feeble defense forming near the entrance, killing most of the pigs almost instantly.

    At least they are warranting the war crime for literally working with the worst scumbag in the galaxy.

    Atta boy! We finally hear some pleasant tunes from you.

    Sod off.

    The warriors behind me released a collective battle roar as they rushed through the smoke, their masks filtering the dangerous poisonous gas from truly damaging them.

    Blaster Muskets started to mercilessly barrage the escaping Gamorreans and most of those died under the precision shots of the raiders.

    "Forward! Before he runs away!"

    Another roar and I would have cracked a feral smile if I had a proper mouth. The E5 was having a field day with the panicking force, especially since the blaster was developed for close quarters like the one we were making our way through.

    "No mercy!"

    The raiders' blitz was deadly and ruthless, any attempt to form some shield from the pigs to defend their boss was obliterated by the advancing savages.

    Another set of doors was destroyed by several thermal detonators and we were presented with quite the delightful sight.

    "Jabba! Nice to see you there, I hope we are not disturbing!"

    The overgrown worm was glaring daggers at poor, ol' me and tried to rush with what seemed to be a blaster pistol.

    "Open fire!"

    The cacophony of laser demolished the criminal warlord and soon his body was left a scarred mess from the focused fire from the group.

    "The worm is dead!"

    Thunderous roars echoed through the now vacant palace.

    An age was brought to an end!


    "You actually pulled it through." Jango stared in visible surprise as several Tusken started to march orderly through the almost empty streets of Mos Elrey.

    The locals were staring from the safety of their homes as the sand people calmly walked around the streets, no sign of true hostility from the usually murderous raiders.

    "And you are making some people even shit their pants with this move of yours."

    The droid chuckled as he continued to stare at something the hologram couldn't pick up. "Trust me, there is.. something that will make everyone else shit their pants."

    A frown appeared on the Bounty Hunter's visage but this soon turned in shock once more when the communication fell and a loud sound echoed through the settlement.


    The Mandalorian moved towards the closest window and stared at the massive Radio the raiders had placed right in the middle of the town.


    Cheeky tincan, the bounty hunter was smirking as he could 'see' how the droid was aching in his seat while proclaiming something this massive without a joke or quip.


    For some reason that very last bit sounded for some reason like a joke...

    Jango shrugged and noticed that Bobba was by his side and staring at the radio too with his eyes wide open.

    "D-Did he-" His hair was ruffled by his father's hand. "It seems he did take over the whole planet."


    I can't believe you decided to put Donald Trump in this all. I thought we were on the same page about political-

    But I didn't copy from Donald Trump.


    He didn't! Trump's motto is 'Make America Great Again', ours is 'Make Tatooine Finally Great'.

    I- You know what? Fine! Let see how far we will go until we get ourselves ousted from the office.

    ..Technically it will never happens.

    What are you talking about?! You said that we were going to establish a democratic government.

    You are mistaking free government with the democratic one, we cannot have a democracy in there.

    But the people-

    Deserves a chance to have a normal life. If an election was made, the candidate and winners would be old associates of Jabba. That is if we ignored the real chance of a massive civil war over the rulership of the country.

    Why are you making this dictatorship sounds alright?!

    I am not, I am just saying that, since there isn't a proper way to conduct a fair election, democracy cannot be applied there.

    We are so going to be roasted out here-

    "My Lord! We have some important news!"

    I sighed as I continued to sit in the lone chair in this bloody room, trying to find a proper style for my new office room.

    The lone Tusken waited for my input and I nodded at him.

    "What is it?" I asked tiredly and annoyed beyond relief.

    "W-We got a woman and.. a demon wishing to speak with you."

    A woman and a de- oh my, I hadn't expected them to come now of all times.

    "Is that so?" I turned now fully focused on the messanger. "Did they tell why they wanted to speak with me?"

    "Something about... a republic, my Lord."


    I... I don't want to do this. Not today, at least..

    When even the nerd refuse to try to be diplomatic, you should know it is time to not do-

    "Call them in."


    I told you to not invite them in!

    I know but we need to have a nice a proper chat to avoid some annoyances from the Republic.

    I understand but... nevermind, just.. finish them quickly.

    I nodded at Bluey's request and faked a yawn as I saw Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen... and Shmi Skywalker.

    I think the actress was Pernilla August-


    I hate you.

    But! Returning to the surprise trio, I was pleased to find out I wasn't the only one shocked with the predicament.

    Even the trying-to-be-stoic-but-failing-and-whining Jedi seemed to show some surprise at my appearance.

    "A-A Droid!" I started to clap at the Queen of Naboo as she recoiled at my reaction.

    "Indeed! And you are a human!" My hands smashed onto my iron cheeks. "What a shocking revelation."

    She had the decency to blush by doing that little 'Captain Obvious' moment.

    "Who is your owner, droid?" I scoffed at Padawan's cocky tone and I tilted my head with a smug aura.

    "The answer is the same at the question 'Who is your father?'"


    I don't think they saw what we were alluding.

    ..Is Ani going to the Dark Side.


    "If this is a joke for you, Droid, then-" I hushed her silence with several 'shhhh' as I sprawled in my little, bloodied chair.

    "I meant 'no one', you poor souls." I clapped my hands just once and turned to Ani's GF. "Also I thought you being there was the punchline of some long political joke."

    At their confused expression I decided to explain, starting with a tired sigh.

    "A Jedi, his mother and his girlfriend enters the evil dictator's lair. The girlfriend is the Queen of an entire planet, not the one she is currently in, while her lover boy is part of a pseudo-religious order that condemns any form of amorous or platonic relationship."


    I was happy I managed to make them so pale and panicked so quickly.

    You are scary.


    "Anyway, since I understand you are here to bore me, can you please.. go for your merry way out of my office?"

    Padmé was the one that recovered first from that verbal stunt of mine.

    "N-Not before you state your affiliations."

    I would have scowled at them but.. droid issues! I was too irked to actually explain this once more.

    "No one."

    "The Republic-" "The Galactic Republic would impose a demilitarisation, a return to slavery to avoid the breaking of the status quo and an attempt to submit the planet back to the Hutt Empire to avoid their wrath. The answer is no, go away."

    "But-" "H-He is right."

    Anakin looked quite surprised by his mother's intervention while Padmé tried to convince me.

    "I-It is not the first time the Republic got hold of Tatooine and.. then left us to rot."

    Shmi then stared back at me. "Will you respect your own promises?"

    I stood silent for few moments before nodding and replying with the most genuine tone I could muster. "I prefer to die than let my own promises be forgotten and ignored."

    She smiled and bowed a little. "Thank you."

    The Jedi tried to turn back his mother from going away but.. she was content from what she had got with so little words.

    Maybe a change was truly going to happen finally.


    It might seem like this is a good position to start galactic conquest but there is quite the risky situation at hand.
    If the Republic manages to somehow muster some considerable militia, then a two-front war is going to be unavoidable.
    Thankfully Techno Union and other conglomerates are 'neutral' about this new takeover and will veto any possible intervention on the matter.

    Also... No, I have nothing else to say about today. Smell ya later!
  30. Bigreader

    Bigreader Know what you're doing yet?

    Jan 30, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Question why would the Republic even care about Tatooine it's not a member world is it? I mean since it was ruled by the Hutts.