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Unnamed Nuzlockes

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Master of Squirrel-fu, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Off to fight the new gym. Illyana wants to fight it on her own. ...I'll trust you with this, but there's something we have to do first if you want to. ...

    Oh god the crazy lady built her gym over an active volcanic pit!

    Illyana smashed through the gym easily, the fact that everyone was suffering from heat exaustion and sufficating on the sulfer helped.

    Clair's preistess dress is really skimpy. She's also strong enough to stand against the elite 4, wow I would like to see you fight off Lorelei or Glacia.

    Clair: You still want to take me on?
    Illyana bows to no one!
    Clair: So limiting yourself to just one? heh, cocky little brat! I will take you on with my FULL POWER!!!
    Oh shi-

    Clair: Go Gyarados!
    Hey that's not a dragon type!
    Clair: Look there's only like 4 native in Johto and one is too powerful to keep at this gym legally.
    Fine, hey Clair, since your a dragon tamer/preistess I bet you know the old stories of how dragonair can control the weather?
    Clair: I do not like where this is going...
    Illyana is the STORM BRINGER! Thunder!
    Clair: oh shi-
    Clair: Well Thunder won't work so well against Dragonair, now we're even!
    Illyana is also from the motherland, and you know general winter is always on their side! Illyana, ICEBEAM!
    Clair: Goddammit! Well Kingdra is neitral to both! Dragon Pulse!
    Clair: You shouldn't have been so cocky!
    ... I wasn't, I just trusted my pokemon. And Illyana trusted me! Go girl! DRACOMETEOR!
    Clair: Fuck!

    Clair: I won't conceid to this! You only won on luck you still are no match for the League! I'm the granddaughter of the Dragon Hero! I can't lose to some nobody girl who just owns a Dragon pokemon!
    Oh come on! This is against the rules! Give me my badge! I'll report you!
    Clair: Fine, you can take the Dragon Challenge and if you win I'll give you the badge. Go to the cave behind the gym. That's the dragons den. If you can make it to the shrine than I'll know you didn't win by luck.

    Well, since the old guy let me in I guess there won't be much trouble if I just wear some repell. woo.
    Asshats: Hey no tresspassing! asdjfllweirfajll!!!!

    After that ordeal I made it to the shrine.
    Oldman: Ah, good to see you here. Really. It's been years since I've seen a woman other than my grandaughter. She's quite a handful I bet she's the one who sent you here right. Another one of her little tantrums. Well time to test you.
    So what do I gotta do? Wrestle a Dragonite? Out swim a Kingdra?
    Oldman: Here's the test and a pencil, you have 5 minutes to complete it. It's math.
    ...oh, woo!

    Oldguy: hmmm, good job you passed!
    Clair: *bursts in* Hah, you just took the test didn't you! I came to see you fail!Wahahaha!
    Uh, I passed...
    Clair: Yes let me taste your dispa- wait what? THIS CAN'T BE!!!!!! You're lying even I have never passed!
    wow, you must really suck a math, school must have been hell.
    Oldman: Clair, this cute girl is a skilled and sharp trainer, she also gave me a delicious cake. Now admit defeat and give her her badge!
    Clair: but-
    Oldguy: Or do I have to tell your cousin Lance?
    That's kinda harsh, man I've never seen the color leave someones face so fast. Clair just chucked the badged at me and ran like hell.

    Later went to visit Clair, she might be mean but nobody deserves Lance, nobody.

    Clair: Wh-what are you doing here?
    Ah, you look like you've been crying... I'm sorry about earlier. I feel a little responsible.
    Clair: Hmph you should! *pout*
    *pat on back*
    Clair: ...Sorry it's just, I've been training dragons all my life, it was the only thing I was good at. I wasn't the smartest trainer, I wasn't the most skilled, I was just good with dragons. It was my thing, ya know? And then Lance beat me, both in pokemon and in succeeding grandfather. And I was just stuck as only a gym leader. But I was the strongest! And then you beat me, I couldn't accept it and I threw a tantrum like a child.
    There there, it's all alright.
    Clair: And you're treating me like a kid too! Stop that! I'm older than you dammit! Hmph! Hey since your taking the gym challenge you might like this TM. Don't give me that look! I just have a bunch is all! You just might need it i-it's like there's any other meaning to it!*blush* Just take it already! It has Dragon Pulse, it works by... just kinda firing a dragony kamehadoken thingy like pulse beam from the mouth to umm... *Blush* look I don't know I just use it to vaporize things! Here's a map to the league, you look like you have some unfinished bussiness up there.
    Yeah, that bastard Lance stole my most precious thing!
    Clair: *blush* You you mean he...
    He stole my hat!
    Clair: ...*smack to the head* DON'T SAY SUCH MISLEADING THINGS! Just take the TM and go beat Lance. And don't you dare lose to him cause if you lose it makes me look weak! ...So give it your all and good luck.
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  2. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Went to visit Elm. Ran into that boy again, uh Gold! that's it! He seems excited, and the little demon mouse is nowhere to be found, seems good so far. He took me to Elm. He's going to give me a present for helping him out. What is it, a gift card? Holy Fuck a Master Ball!

    Elm: Oh yes, by the way we just had agroup of beautiful Kimono girls come through here looking for you.
    Gold: Marill, people everywhere are talking about you! Especially after the Radio Tower!
    Oh god you had to remind me!

    The girls are waiting for me in the theature in Ecruteak. Well off I g- Oh god the Demon Marill! Get it off my face! Why does this keep happening!?

    At Ecruteak Ran into Silver coming out of the theater. As he came out the door smashed me in the face. OW I thought these things had sliding doors!?

    Silver: How, HOW could I loose to Kimono girls!?
    Heh, you lost to Kimono girls?
    Silver: Huh, oh it's you, that Marill-girl. ... yes I lost, I never thought defeating the five of them would be so dificult. I didn't stand a chance. You must have come here for the same reason.
    Actually they just invited me over, I was figuring we would drink tea, have a sleep over, do make overs, gossip. You know girl stuff.
    Silver: *Glare* ...Don't get cocky just because You defeated team rocket. these girls are insanely strong. I'm getting out of here, I don't want to be here to see you win. *shove*
    Hey! Well at least he didn't punch me this time.
    Lordofshadows likes this.
  3. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Fighting Kimono girls, they each come up and tell me which one they are that I helped, you guys suck at thank yous!

    In the last round againgst a Vaporion it was up to Ralph, the start was just me spaming S.potions and Vaporeon spaming Surf. It's fucking Poliwrath all over again! Rargh! Out spamed him and he used Quick attack, use the opritunity to use a Charm and Wish. Took an Aurora beam but the wish came true and now I have a free turn. Got to make it count. Managed to kill it with a crit fly! They give me a Tital bell as a present, this still doesn't make up for that crap you know.

    Kimono Girl: So what will?
    ...Honorary membership.
    Kimono Girl: Done.
    Woo! Kimono cosplay get!
    Trying it on when a little girl runs in. She says there's been a sighting of a big shadow at the Whirl Islands. *shows grainy Pic looks like Nessie*

    Kimono Girls: This can only mean one thing, the Sacred Pokemon is back!
    You sure? I mean it could also be a Tentacruel or, you know, a cloud or something.
    Kimono girl: We must be off to the Whirl Islands!
    Good luck with that.
    Kimono girl: You're coming too.
    What Why!?
    Kimono Girl: You're an Honorary Member, remember?
    ...Crud, there goes the rest of my day, now I have to investigate something that's probably a floating log or a farfetch'd sillouette. :(

    We go to Whirl Island, Now I have to play the Shell bell while they dance around to summon Lugia. The dance starts and Lugia is summoned. Holy PokeClaus He looks pissed!

    Kimono Girl: Yeah, well people have been dancing on this alter for years, this is just the first time someone's added music. Of course he'd be mad for getting woken up. Welp... We've done our part now go out there and do you best to capture him!
    What!? Why me!?
    Kimono Girl: You KOed all our pokemon remember? And if you don't capture him he's going to just attack you, after all you're the one who woke him.

    This will be an Epic Battle! Truely the stuff of legends, The story of it will be told for generations and I shall live forever in it's memory!
    ...You know what, fuck it. My show's on soon, Master Ball go!

    Kimono girl: Thanks for catching it, you can go now.

    Off to Bell tower. Monk stops me from going up he want's something connected to Ho-oh to let me up. Uh hello *gestures to Lugia*. He still refuses. Screw you you old froggy!

    Off to fight the league, finally. Crossed Tojo Falls. And beat a girl using Derpasaurs

    So many trainers, no healing spots, and I can't leave without having to retrace my steps. I hate this route! Last trainer says she lost to someone who sounds like Silver. Made it to the league reception gate. Beyond here lies the League! The league looks alot like a cave, wait, Victory road...

    Made it through now on to the league!
    Silver: Hold it!
    Oh for the love of Pokeclaus!
    Silver: You're on your way to the pokemon league...
    Why else would I suffer through all this?
    Silver: Oh stop complaining like a weakling, it doesn't suit you. Besides didn't you notice that there weren't any trainers here? Everyone else was too intimidated and weak to come this far, but the fact that you're here means you're better than them.
    You're being awfully nice, you're not going to shoot me are you?
    Silver: But! You're jouney ends here!
    Oh god you are!
    Silver: No you idiot! A pokemon battle! Right here I'm finally going to crush you!

    Illyana roasted the Gator but it got in an Icefang before it went down
    Ralph has to cover the Haunter so she can heal but got traped and cursed! Lucky it went down in one hit but now Ralph needs to switch. Azula roasts his dodad and follows up with a flaming spin kick to the PsyFox. Now Ralph vs Golbat, cheap bastard spams confuse ray! But Ralph preveils against the odds!

    Silver: I can't beleive I lost again. ...I think I'm starting to understand what you ment about what I lack and you have. But I still won't give up, I'm going to find what I need to get stronger and then I'm going to challenge you and beat you down with all my power. until then you keep training.

    About to fight the E4. Gave Illyana a bunch of Rare candy to evolve her. Lance you will pay for you're crime! You shall steal hats no more!

    E4 challenge team!

    Ralph: LVL45 [M] Togetic
    Fly, Charm, Extrasensory, Wish

    Illyana: LVL55 [F] Dragonite
    Ice Beam, Waterfall, Thunder, Wing Attack

    Azula: LVL45 [F] Typhosion
    Flamethrower, Blast Burn, Flame Wheel, Swift

    Heavy G: LVL41 [M] Graveler
    Magnitude, Rollout, EarthQuake, Strength

    Bruce: LVL31 [M] Hitmonchan
    Icepunch, FirePunch, ThunderPunch, Fake Out

    Shuckie: LVL34 [M] Shuckle
    Encore, Rest, Safeguard, Wrap

    First room. Gah crap! a flying cube hit me in the head! In the middle there's a creepy guy in a mask.

    Will: Blah blah blah, losing is not an option!
    It's a conclusion!

    Battle of the Mind Flaying birds, Ralph is the better headasploder!
    Ralph had to switch out when Will pulled out a jynx that knew Ice punch, it hit Azula, she was not happy. Illyana took out the slowbro with a thunder, Azula flambe'ed the Coconut tree. and Nuked the final Xatu.

    Next room is dark. And Sudently Ninja!

    Koga: I am Koga of the four heavenly kings. My ninja arts will confound and destroy you! Prepare for trouble!
    And you make it double! Also why do you're lips not sych up to your voice?

    Oh god Spider! Kill it Ralph! Poison spider vs Mind flaying bird, not his best idea.
    Fortress vs Azula. Metal bug vs Fireferret. Eat type advantage bitch!
    Muk vs Heavy G. Earthquake! Hey what's it do- Oh god it's gunk shot is every where!
    Azula ate the moth. and then fried a bat. Koga disapeared into the shadows

    Half way there!

    Oh god not the lava again! and this is the 3rd floor is it okay to have this right above everyones head!?

    Bruno: Me Bruno! Bruno heard of you from Chuck! Bruno- screw it, I always hated talking like that. Well I heard you beat one of my students, lets see if you're up to snuff shall we? Now OVERWELMING POWER!!!

    Ralph takes out the Hitmontop and I take the time to prep him with battle items.
    Took out the Hitmonchan too, The Onix nearly Got Ralph with a crit Rockslide but luckly I used charm. The rest was pretty easy afterwards with Charming them and then mindflaying them.

    Woot I won!

    Next room is filled with black crystals.

    VS Karen
    Oh goddamit Umbreon
    Holy frack She switched out, OGOD IT'S THE DEVIL DOG!!! And it's plotting to kill me!!! Go Illyana get your revenge!
    Wrong button press and I used Ice beam Luckly it's too distracted by wanting to eat my liver to take advantage. one Waterfall later and it's back in hell. Murkrow got an Icicle to the face. Then Umbreon fell, Oh god Gengar! I freaking hate you Karen! And it knows Kamehameha! Wah!

    Karen: There are no strong or weak pokemon, That's just in your mind. You should fight with the pokemon you love. Now go the Champion is waiting!

    Woo! Prepare youself Lance I'm gonna get you! Oh god! Hyperbeam nearly got me!

    Lance: I've been waiting for you girl. I knew you would come. There's no need for explanation.
    Good, glad that you see it my way now give me what I want! I won't take no for an answer!
    Lance: Straight to the point, here. *walks up*
    Glad we could get through this witho- MMMPH! Oh god what the fuck!?
    Lance: You were asking for it.
    I didn't ask for a kiss! What the fuck were you thinking!?
    Lance: Wait so you weren't coming on to me? You aren't here to try and seduce me?
    Oh god no! I want you-
    Lance: Knew it
    ^to^ give me back what you stole! I want my hat back!
    Lance: ...that's it? You came all this way, battled your way up a mountain, faced the elite 4 trainers of the continent, and tried to seduce me for a hat?
    I am not trying to seduce you! Just give me back the hat you stole!
    Lance: Fine! If you win you get your hat, if I win you admit you're trying to seduce me!
    Goddamit! Fine you're on! ...wait what did I just do?
    Lance: As the leader of the elite 4 and the strongest trainer on this entire continent, I, Lance the Dragon Master, will /destroy/ you!

    Waiting game of Ralph vs Gyarados Crit Waterfall takes out Ralph! My little boy! I I... I will fucking kill you! Illyana! Murder this asshole!
    //Also WTF? I used 3 charms it should have been only half powered! Fraking cheating game!

    Illyana breezed through the team but took a bump when Aerodactal got a Rockslide in but they all went down in one shot, up to Charizard. He kept barely surviving and Lance kept using full restores on it while Illyana just tore into it. Until finally he ran out and it died.

    Lance: Hahaha? I I lost? I can't have lost... HAHAHA, no it's alright I can still win! Yeah I'll ju-
    *Punch* I'll be taking my hat back, rot in hell you bastard. *kick to face* Sigh, well I guess I win...
    *Pulls photo out of hat* ...I'm sorry.

    Mary: Crap we're late! Oak hurry your wrincled ass up, this is you fault!
    Oak: Dammit woman I'm /THE/ goddamn pokemon professer! I don't have to take this! Ah, it's been a while lassy, You sure have gotten stronger, you're utter anialation of the league is utterly astounding! Congradulations!
    Mary: Let's interveiw the new champion!
    ... *walk away*
    Mary: Hey we didn't get an interveiw!

    there's a machine, I guess this is the machine that records the champions. Well done guys you deserve it. ...*sits down next to machine* ...come on guys lets go home and take a nice vacation...
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  4. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    That's Soul Silver. I didn't complete the post game, though I nuzlocked it. Still waiting for me to finish...

    Omake: Original Time line of Unnamed Nuzlocke-verse

    Big Bang - universe created; Magic is created; Arceus Created; Arceus creates Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina.

    1500000000BC - Arceus discovers PokEarth; Giritina is a dick and tricks his brothers into fighting and battle explodes a chunk of the proto planet into orbit; Arceus finds out and Palkia&Dialga cheese it leaving Giratina, Arcus seals his ass away and gets to work setting things back.

    100000000bc - Arceus gets bored creates other legendaries and gives them control of varius aspects of it, Mew is given the job of making the new species of animals to roam in addition to those already exicting to ensure a never ending supply of violent entertainment,

    65000000BC - formed by the cruel darwinistic world Genosect is born and then wipes out most life on earth with Judgement in his angst, accedently offs itself during attack. Proto-Magikarp, at the loss of it's only Natural enemy, slowly starts to weaken into the peice of crap it is today.

    25000BC - Arceus creates the lake spirits to give humanity sentience; Celebi, Shaymin, verious other legdaries created by Arceus to stave off boredom and ease his work maintaining things on earth until his experiment with the humans is ready.

    10000BC - Arceus decides to fuck around with the humans a bit and tells them he's God and spread a few myths around; Arceus creates Jiraichi to see what the humans would do with it.

    5000BC - Ancient civilizations rise and begin the tradition domesticating pokemon.

    0AC - First recorded sucessful use of 'modern pokeball'

    1100 - The creation of the dragons of Unova; Grand Tower of Ecruteak burns down and the birds flee; Ho-oh creates the legendary cats
    Modern day
    1988-94 - "Red", "Yuu", 'Foxxy', Guy Ocelot, Marill, Trainer[M] (Kyon), & Trainer[F] (Kyonko) are born; Plasma is created; N is born and raised by Ghetsis to be the king of Plasma.

    1995 - Geovanni becomes the Don of the Rockets; Reveal that All Officer Jennys are clones and budget cuts cause 95% of the active police force to revolt, luckly the Joys double crossed them and the rebelion was put down but now there is nearly no police force available.

    1996 - Time line breached by Bills time machine arriving before it was created. Celebi arrives at an Island in Kanto

    2000 - Team Galactic formed.

    2002 -Celebi arrives at an island in Hoenn; Team Galactic in it reasearch upset Palkia & Dialga causing Temporial & Spatial discrepencies; Time stops in (1996)Kanto & (2002)Hoenn merging the the timeframes together mostly seemlessly within the present and the past, Johto and Sinnoh seperated from the the rest of the world for 3-8 years but notice nothing different. Unova is seperated into 2 seperate mirror worlds that are mostly similar starting in 1996 and the timelines diverge and become very differnt due to butterfly effect.

    1996 (2002)
    Summer - Start of Unnamed Leafgreen Nuzlocke. Start of Red's Journey to discover the mysteries of her recuring dejavu and visions. Due to being locked in time simaltaniously with the future Arceus put a lock on Kanto to prevent any paradoxs that would fuck things up. Celebi decides to run to several different milenia to avoid him.

    Winter - Journey ends with Red contacting Yuu and causing a paradox that restarts time during 2003.

    Summer - Start of Unnamed Emerald Nuzlocke, Yuu Starts his adventure to discover the cause of why time has stoped moving and hopefully fix the problem. yuu searchs for the verious legendary Pokemon to find the cause.

    Autum - yuu discovers a familiar looking marking on a wall in the abandoned cruise ship

    Winter - yuu is told about a discovery of the space center about shifts in the stars and calculations making some of the scientists theorize that time is somehow stuck in the past. Cruise ship is actually the remains of the SS Anne. It is soon relized that by the end of the year the world they know will be destroyed and reset at the begining in an endless recusion but that it will start in the cave in the NorthWest region. After beating Steven who driven insane from being at ground zero of the temporial distortions yuu attempted to warn the past about what was about to happen only to discover it already did and time was stuck in a smaller loop within that room, Somehow he managed to contact Red and caused a paradox that destroyed the timeloops.

    Spring - Start of Unnamed Quartz Nuzlocke, after arriving the the horrible place that is filled with continuity errors, crazymen, molesters, morons, and utterly disgsting monsters Red, newly dubbed "Foxy" by Baro and his ilk, sets out on to get the fuck back to Kanto.

    Winter - The world starts to unravel as the timeline dies, everything was simply created from negitive space wedgie caused by the paradox and was simply there as filler to keep the universe from imploding. The world of Quartz crashs and everything is erased.

    Spring - Start of Unnamed HeartGold Nuzlocke, Maril begins a quest to tour the world; earned her name because of a viral video of her getting attacked by a Marill circling PokeTube

    Summer - Team Rocket is shut down and Maril decides to travel somewhere more calm to hopefully get some peace. Vacation in Kanto

    Autumn - The start of Unnamed Diamond/Platinum Nuzlocke, The Ocelot begins his journey through the Sinnoh regin; After lossing some of his partners he plans to find Arceus and force him to bring them back.

    Winter - Plasma is crushed completely, the world is saved from distuction, and peace has returned. Platnium chapter begins and Ocelot takes on the post game content. During the take down of the battle frontier Ocelot runs into the Battle Vallet, woos his lady Caitlin with his battling, and tells her to come see him in a few years when she's gotten stronger.

    Spring - Start of Unnamed Black Nuzlocke. "Kyonko" is blackmailed by Juniper to fill her new pokedex and sets off on a journey with her friends. Late spring, she stops plasma and decides to go into retirement and play video games all day.

    Summer - Start of Part 2; She Is forcefully 'volenteered' by the Looker to hunt down the escaped Sages and Ghetsis and discovers that during her monthlong vacation everyone else has been level grinding and exploring. Starts looking for the Sages. Discovers that there is a mirror world and there's a distaff conterpart of her. Story ends with Them reuniting both timelines, all the sages except Ghetsis captured and them leaving to hunt down rumors about sightings of N within another region.

    //On the timeline. Due to paradoxs Johto was supposed to occure 3 years after Kanto and then be followed by Hoenn then Sinnoh. Due to time warping [1]Kanto happens at the same time as [3]Hoenn, Johto happens slightly before Sinnoh but close enough; Hoenn is still post-Johto even if it occures before it, and Kanto is still free of older generation influence even though it occures during the 3rd gen and as such technically after the second. Sinnoh is the least effected and mostly paradox free.

    //On Unova being 2 different worlds. Due to the paradoxs caused by Dialkia Unova was split between 2 timelines in 1996. While many things are the same due to the butterlfy effect some things are blatently controdicting and many characters are vastly different in both personality and past. In general Black would be the more serious of the 2 while white carries a much more lighthearted nonsequitter feel.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
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  5. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    So Good news, bad news, and annoying news.

    Good News: I found the continuation of the Unnamed Black Nuzlock. It was in an old notebook I had squirreled away. I even found a lot of old arts I did for these nuzlock!
    Bad News: Not only are the notes ridiculously hard to read but they are also very spotty and kinda half assed, since I forgot the plot like half way through and spent most of the time trying to beat those damn cheaters on the subway. Any plot was taken care of between visits and wasn't recorded. So yeah, it's like 3 posts at the most.
    Annoying news: I got distracted by something shiny and forgot to scan the arts. I'll get to it later.

    Any comments?
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  6. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Here's all the protags of the nuzlocks in order. The two at the bottom are the same one, from an attempt to nuzlock Pokemon Conquest.

    The original Red from my attempt to nuzlock leaf green, still female though. And pretty pissed at those who don't believe that claim.

    Marril from the Soul Silver Nuzlock. Was still trying to figure out her look so this was the first attempt, the final attempt sadly was scribbled on by a niece and nephew one day when I left the note pad out.



    Kyonko and Kyon-chan~

    Unnamed Black/White nuzlock Postgame:
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
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  7. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Reginald and Lils~

    And an unfnished sketch of Kyon's team
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
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  8. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Soul Silver:

    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
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  9. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Finally an attempt to illustrate the Black version that I lost intrest in after 3 pages

    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
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  10. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Now for a Gaiden Nuzlock~

    Unnamed Touhoumon 1.8 Nuzlock:
    Edit: Our Heroine

    Was playing Touhou at home, but ma decided to kick me out for not doing anything but playing on the computer

    me: Sheesh I'm like 10! WTH ma!?
    Ma: Well I aint letting you free load off me! Go catch pokemans and don't come back until you become champion!

    And that's how I became homeless.

    Whelp gotta go find Oldman Oak, I could go to his lab but the feild outside is closer

    Me: Oh look at me all alone without pokemon, I think I'll wander in the tall grass~
    PO: Dynamic Entry!

    I come too at the lab, meet Yellow.

    Alice Get!

    Yellow wants to fight, and honestly I never liked her stupid face. I shall smash it in and steal her hat for myself!

    I beat her but she ran before I could steal her awesome hat! Well mines is cooler anyway!


    Appearently these little mosnters aren't free, I gotta sneak a package across the town boarder for him or Oaks "nice friends" will make it hard for me.

    So after massecuring my way through the various creatures in my path I complete my quest and give oak his mysterious parcle and he calls his guys to stop harrassing me and let me buy shit in the next town. Even gives me a moble wikipedia (I have to fill it out that's bull shit!) and some pokeballs.

    Yeah, still gotta work off my dept of Parian...


    Birdy the Tokiko and Jerri the Nazrin join the team!
    The two are pretty useless, and Parian has to hold their hand to keep them from dying before becomeing not useless. She ends up taking alot of hits to keep them from dying during grinding, when they thank she gives them the cold shoulder.

    Some old guy was going to teach me how to catch Touhou, odd since I already have several with me...

    Fought Yellow off the path of the city, Birdy wrecked the shit out of her first guy but sent Parian out against her Reisen, Dammit why you gotta derp Parian?! I whasted all those potions! When I won she left before I could force her to pay me back for all those whasted potions. Get back her you cheap bitch!


    In the forrest north of town I caught a Luna, Woona~
    Now I gotta train her up so she isn't useless too. Good news jerri you're not the dead weight anymore!

    Woona seems to be cozying up to Birdy, the two work well together. Birdy is a tank.

    Well back in the forrest I guess I'll grind up Jerri...

    Caught a Fairy! Wynx

    Jerri is still utterly useless but Birdy is serious erning her keep and then some! Made it to Pewter, some asshat kid tried to drag me somewhere by I beat him with Jerri, literally.

    In the gym this ass hat kid had a Yamame who just wouldn't die! Kept throwing sand in our eyes too! Birdy finally killed it but the little bastard had a second! Switched out to Woona and back and threw sand in his face! And switched again so he can't do shit!

    I was scared to face brock but he went down like a bitch with just Birdy! God she's so awesome~

    Was trying to catch a Mystia. She killed Wynx! Parian exploded her head.


    Went into a cave, bucket tried to kill me. Caught it.

    Making my way throught the cave I casually beat the shit out of these gangsters taht I find inside.

    Make it out of the cave pretty easily
    Found a chen, Kitkat

    Grinding time!
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
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  11. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    North of town.
    Ran into yellow. Birdy took her on fairly easily, but the bitch used some very cheap tactics like spamming sand attack and confuse ray. Sent Parian out, but she kept getting confused and acting derp.

    Caught a CMinoriko: Autumn and a a lily cLilywhite Haku

    On bridge behind her got to have fun by beating the shit out of idiots and taking their money. Last guy offered me a job with his loser gang.
    me: I just wanna stab people and take their money
    TR: You could still do that just for us!
    me: No, I wanna stab you and take your money.
    TR: Hey wait I already gave you a nu- GAH!

    Found a cottage outside of town.
    Weird guy switched bodies with his Cirno. Swithched them back, he gave me a ticket to a cruise. ... I don't like water...

    Went to the gym.
    Parian smashed through the rabble and when I got to Misty she took care of her c.Komachi pretty easy but then she sent out an evolved Komachi!
    me: *looks at level**Pulls out Pokedex**Komachi evolves at lvl 35* ...Cheating Bitch.
    She slices Parian and she only barely survives when she tries to go in for the kill Woona swoops in and catches it. Woon fries the bitch.

    Parian seems upset that she's starting to get left behind.

    Some house north of the gym got burgled and a TM stolen. Found the theif outside and stole it from him! Keeping this for my self~

    Left a Tien the Satori at the Daycare center, went to vermilion.

    Pokemon fanclub found someguy who molests his mokou and he gave me a bike voucher to not spread any of the pics I took across the pokenet.

    Found agirl in the PKmon center, gave me a Vs Seeker. Wait you mean to tell me that with this I can beat up people again and steal even more of their money? Woo!

    CMedicine: Priere
    CKogasa: Bridget
    CYamame: Rochel

    Grinding Parian finally evolved.

    Exploring the SS Anne, several of the sailors have definitely been away from land too long, they kept hitting on me and my arm got soar from having to stab so many of the assholes.

    Lost Kitkat while grinding, a crit hit right before she could strike the final blow... She gave me a gold nugget...

    Birdy Evolved.
    Tien Evolved, lvl 39

    Fought Yellow again, her guys went down easy to Woona, but in the end I went out Parian to match her Reisen and it was surprised at the 14 lvl difference and the fact that Parian evolved and it went down easy to a triattack.

    Went into the captains room and he tried to perv on me to rub his back, instead I stabbed him~ He tried to get me to stop with a Cut HM.

    Me: Dont need it, I can aready cut you~

    Long story short I gots me a luxery cruiser!

    Checking out the next route, caught a Cirno: 9Ballah and a Mystia: SherylNome


    Went through a cave, caught a Rumia: Knightmare
    Smashed my way though every trainer there.
    The city on the other side was depressing so I just skipped it. Caught Meiling: China

    Finally made it to celedon! Shopping time!
    Holy shit Gambling!
    *9999 hours later*
    Whelp I'm about infinity dollars in dept... Gotta kill everyone in charge now.

    Ran into rocket grunt, thankfully they run this place so I don't have to bother covering it up!
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  12. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Fighting my way through the grunts, pretty easy.

    After killing my way into the inner chambers of the don I challenged him to a death match to clear my outstanding dept. He talked about kidnapping pokemon and power and something about breaking my legs as punishment, blahblahblah.

    The battle was quick and brutal, Parian obliterated his pokemon but he cleared my dept so there was no need to stab him to death afterwards, not that i didn't try but where his pokemon sucked his personal skill made him pretty bad ass.

    Guess this means I got my own cassino now! I can't wait to combine it with my cruise ship! Loot~ got me some awesome googles and stole all the awesome pokemon!

    Yamaxanadu: Dredd


    Whaddaya know there's a gym in the city, took Sheryl and Bridy to check it out. Stabbed some oldguy trying to perv out. Place seemed kinda cool until some one spill juice on me and when I went to change they noticed a little something~ so now they want to fight for me "tricking" them.

    Ended up fighting my way to the leader she was a pretty cool chick, kept falling asleep though, Sheryl obliterated her. Unlike all the others she was remarkable cool about losing and didn't care about what happened earlier.

    Erica: Gender doesn't matter as long as you're cute~


    So I went on to the next road and ran across some lady and her utsuho, in exchange for not reveiling their forbiden love I got an HM, Woo!

    Upon trying to get Birdy to fly I learned that I can't use it. Shit, need to get to the next gym then!

    Went back to the highclass hotel I'm staying at, payed for by casino profit, and some old lady gave me hot tea.

    hmm, I have an idea!


    Guard: Gaaaaah!
    So I finally got passed the guard, stabbed his kidney and drank the tea because stabbin is thirsty work.

    Found a gym and went to destroy it. The leader was pretty damn strong but Parian smashed him down. I made him pay tax to me in the form of his first born pokemon, a cToyohime: Minerva

    Okay now I can fly! ...sonofabitch! real gym was next door, stabbed the grunt blocking the door but the leader was gone out to lunch.


    Went back to creepy town, went to the tower she'd just come from rescuing a Youmu. Said not to go upstairs, well no one tells me what todo!

    Fought a bunch of miko, exersists, zombies, and possessed chicks. Pretty fun~ Kinda annoyed how the exersists kept insisting that I was pure evil incarnate though.

    Demon: What color is your blood little girl!?
    Me: *Holds up knife* I was just going to ask you the same thing~

    Near the top a ghost tried to get me, even sang a song that would curse us to death but me and Parian killed it.

    Ran into rocket's upstairs they were harrassing some old guy. It's always nice to have a reason for stabbing them, not that I really need one though. Old guy says some stuff but I don't listen, too busy stabbing the still slightly alive grunts to death. When I turn to him to help him down the tower he throws a flute at me and runs away, woo free shit!

    South of town ran into a weird hole in reality that makes my brain itch to look at, it's filled with eyes and looking at it tastes purple. Played the flute and something came out yelling, zapped it and we kept punching it until I tossed a few pokeballs and caught her.

    CYukari: Lil'Yellow
    CYukari: Marbel

    Time for 9Ballah's big premire!

    Obliterated everything in the way!

    Got a call from the daycare about when the hell I'm gonna pick up Tien, went back, she's pretty damn strong now! Lvl 44, she's also kinda irked I forgot her.

    Went to the ninja hideout and decided it'd be fun to take them all out, got into a kungfu ninja showdown with the entire clan. It was a pretty close fight between Tien and all his Hina evolutions (just like a ninja to cheat!) and she even went into the red, but because she was not only the toughest after Parian but also that I had confidence in her I let her try a final attack which took out the Hina before it could get her.

    Now I have my own clan of ninja!

    So it's flying time! ...Fuck!

    Safari zone! Caught some mons, found some teeth and got the HM Surf, woot!

    Gave the teeth to some old guy and he gave me another HM, whoo!

    So dicided to try out Surf to get to the next island and found a chain of islands that weren't on the map, oh well...

    There's giant boulders inside that I need to move arround and I need strength to continue...

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  13. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Okay, went back and got Teacher the Keine to smash some rocks.

    Me:*using Keine as a hammer smash thorugh the wall*

    Made it to cinnibar, at the local lab black mailed the scientists to revive my fossil into a Reimu, she's so cute! Reimy joins the team!

    Gym is locked, no doubt this guy has heard of me and is taking preemptice measures like that other gym.

    Inside an abandoned mansion found a key to the local gym. Time for another hostile take over~

    This was going to be the debut of lil' Minerva my Toyohime and she was doing good until I was fighting this guy's sunny milk and it used a Nature move!? The hell I didn't know it could use nature moves! At first I was just going to take over the gym but now there will be no survivors.

    ... no there will be survivors they just won't wish they survived.

    Got to blane and took down his touhou until the last, an AUtsuho came out. That fucking cheating son of a bitch! It even used blast burn on Tien! I was scared as the fires engulfed her afriad she'd died like minerva, but out of the inferno came a blast of darkness to strike the tired bird.

    Tien had copied Yuki beforehand and just barely survived the attack. The battle was long and pretty annoying but in the end the Utsuho fell.

    And then there was one...

    As I advance the man does not scream.

    ...His stoicism didn't last for long.


    I look upon the burning gym, the screams had stopped a while ago.

    Whelp off to continue my journey.


    In Saffron city, the place has been taken over by the rockets. I've entered the building their occupying, I don't care for subtlty so I simply entered the front entrance and began to kill anything even slightly dangerous I came across. No doubt a few would be heroes probably got ganked but I couldn't care less.

    Many of the grunts seem so proud of themselves when they spotted me thinking they found me, idiots.

    Fighting my way through these guys I ran into Yellow got directions to the boss. She's off to fight the psychic chick who's keeping a barrier over the city.

    Found the boss, he's the same guy I smacked down before. He ws in the middle of extorting the pres of the company, he was just as easy to put down again with Parian. His Keine was kinda bitch with roaring and targeting my lil'Reimy and the new addition Rin'nosuke and giving Parian a Sucker punch every time she protected them. Whelp wooped his ass and sent him packing.

    Pres: Oh thank you!
    Me: oh no need to thank me.
    pres: such a kind girl.
    Me: no I mean I'm going to be continuing where the last guy left off, now either give me your company or I'll feed you your secretary over there.

    Woo I got my own multi national company!

    Now off to help yellow! Off to the gym, exploded the door off the building and am just smashing my way through her minions. They're all psychos. Fought Sabrina, Parian buffed up against her weak Koakuma and then head asploded it. The Satori was trickier but it too fell but not before nearly taking down Parian, but a Hyper potion took care of that! The rest is history and Sabrina went down easy. Now I control another gym!

    Time to fly to the earth Gym. ...Motherfucker! Why can't I fly!? Fine I'll take down the last gym and then I can fly everywhere! I won't have to walk anymore, I'll never walk again!


    Walks out of yamame's cave kicking off stray touhou.

    Made it to the gym and the fucker was closed! Screw this I'm going on vacation!!!
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  14. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    I took my cruise ship over to a popular vacation spot away from it all, the sevii islands. And just my luck as soon as I step out I run into that asshat bill.

    He's here because of a pokenet problem, there's conection problems and as a result the PC's can't connect to the Pokenet. Gave me meteor to deliver to some guy, being the magnanomous person that I am I agreed to do it for free, so long as he gives Reimy a sizable donation~

    Some muscle head insulted my outfit. It's stabbin' time!

    So after explorin I finally got arround to the next island and delivering the rock.

    So aparently his little girl was kidnapped by bikers, not my problem. Then he offered to pay me, okay now it's my problem.

    So I go to 3 island and mow my way through the bikers, turns out they didn't kidnap her she just ran away and the guy was an idiot. ugh. She's in the forest.

    Found her in the forrest and she was being harrassed by a made who had tones of knives. I like her!

    Sakua: Ukrane

    So with this I finish this mission and my vacation officially starts~


    So my vacation ends and I arrive in Vermilion.

    I see a gym at the port. ...I knew I forgot something!

    So I go up and obliterate the competition, when I get to surge I just have Parian blast it with Mana burst. The gym is definitely going to need repairs.

    Now I can fly! Fuck yeah!


    On to the last gym, Birdy wants to see some action since she's been held back for quite a while. She's tearing through it!

    The leader is that mobster guy, he babbled about something but honestly i didn't give a shit. I jus sent out Birdy to kick his ass, it wasn't even close!

    On my way to the league, ran into yellow again.

    The battle was actually pretty hard. Tien mostly took care of it, copying her Youmu had to switch it up a couple times, but Tien ended up taking on Reisen while at half health, Parian jumped in to protect her and Tien came up for the finisher.
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  15. Master of Squirrel-fu

    Master of Squirrel-fu *Smug Drone Noises* Moderator

    Feb 14, 2013
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    Now standing before the league I take the finals steps inside.


    Then I imediately step back out. Now I can fly here, so off to train!

    Yeah I aint gonna go and try and take on the league without some serious grinding! I know how this song and dance goes and I aint gonna have it! No one's going in there till everyone is at least lvl 65!

    So for my main team I have
    Reimy, Birdy, Tien, Parian, and 9ballah meaning I have an extra space on the team, two if Tien doesn't shape up, her typing is already somewhat redundant. So I gotta pick someone for some decent type coverage...

    So, yeah, I got a couple underleveled girls on the team. Tien is good but Woona unfortunately doesn't have much to contribute with her being under level 50, but I couldnt train her since the only trainer with good experiance is a nature user which is a bad match. I can't use anyone else since she's the only one with a high enough level to hopefully either contribute or at least survive a hit if I'm forced to switch.

    So first match Parian wiped the floor with Lorlei, albeit I prepared everything beforehand with some cheap strategy.

    Next guy I'm sending in Reimy, she's the toughest. Turns out steel is super effective against faith. Bullshit. But Reimy is a scrapper and took it like a champ and smashed in all their faces!

    So Now fighting Agatha. Hmm, ghost types. My best bet is a heart type, so Tien is ago. Let's hope she's stronger than her level inplies. SHe did very well, though it turned out that Agatha was a lying bitch and used mostly dark types. Had to switch iwth Reimy half way through so as to not whaste pp.

    Fighting lance. Sent out birdy, she spammed double team while fighting Yukari and I decided to load up a couple xattacks until she started using hyper beam. Went down quick enough. And so did everyone else on Lance's team. Birdy you so awesome~

    Time for the final showdown against that stupid hat stealing tramp! 9ballah made her debut and while suffering a horrid wound from the Kaguya she took her down. but that cheating bitch had a fucking Syorihime! If I switched someone would die! My only hope was that 9ballah could one shot her, she was already fast enough. But lo and behold after a devistating attack that bitch still lived and cut her down.

    She shall suffer for this. I know this bitch she's going to heal that tramp, so Woona make her showing to paralyze her while we can. It works and I switch to Parian. Sweet parian, my first and little friend, we started this so now we'll end this!

    Parian is tough enough to tank a few attacks so we spam Mana Charge to the max and heal a bit before taking this bitch out. Even her weakest attack one shots the bitch. She get's poisoned by the Eirin that follows who goes down with ease. Reisen comes out, in her Tech form, she lauches a mist ball that hits. But Parian tanks it and blasts that bitch into the stone age. I take the time to use a full restore and then obliterate her toyohime. Her final Tewi barely manges to disable Parians Manaburst but still got ganked by the Aurora beam.

    I win. As I walk past I give her a good hard kick in the ribs.
    I enter the room and write down our names.
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