Wait a Minute... (Guy in Worm with Trouble in Terrorist Town powers)

[Phili]

I sure hope this is the correct box to type this part in. (It wasn't, I had to switch the first threadmark and the thread description)
Hi! This is my first story, and I'm not sure how long it will go on or how much time I will be able to dedicate to it. Please do not raise your expectations.

This is a story that takes place in Worm, about an Original Character who apparently has an identity and life on Earth Bet, but doesn't remember any of it. He has gotten powers from the Yogscast Modded Gary's Mod Trouble In Terrorist Town game (TTT), and gets more powers and items from it as time goes on, and he has a feeling it will move on to a similar theme after it grabs everything it can from TTT, and perhaps even more after that. Reading this requires no knowledge of the Yogscast or TTT, but they will likely make it funnier.

He has some limited memories of someone from an Earth similar to ours, most of which are useless and about a group of idiots (he means it affectionately) called the Yogscast; but other, more normal memories are just enough to make him double take and question many things on Earth Bet. He is apparently a Yognau(gh)t, so he decides to call himself Dave.

Spoiler: Regarding his power and its source

His power is Out of Context and does not originate from a shard, but something kind-of similar to a shard. This kind-of shard is not from any particular fandom, it just works on similar, less parasitic principles as Worm shards, and is more like a weird cross between a Worm shard, a ROB wanting to be entertained, a Ring Grandpa from a xianxia, and a hyper-friendly puppy trying very hard to be friendly but only speaks in barks and yips

I have read quite a bit of Worm fanfiction in my day, but I've never read the original story because I find it much too dark and depressing, so, correspondingly, I am nearly certain to get things wrong and ask for gentle clarification and understanding if I choose not to correct it since I intend for this story to be substantially lighter in tone than the original.

Nothing is (currently) written in advance and I (currently) have no plans for a schedule. This is (currently) a bit of fun for me while I rewatch the old Yogscast TTT playlists while stretching my creative juice (yes, I love stretching my juices, why do you ask?), and maybe entertaining a few people along the way... if I keep up with it.

The first chapter will be out sometime between today and next week... hopefully. Now, I just have to figure out how to copy all of this into an identical story in the NSFW section.

 

[Phili]

January 1, 2010. Brockton Bay.

He woke up on a bed. That was good, he supposed; the problem was just about everything else.

"What's my name, and why do I feel like I should care more about the answer than I actually do?" He asked while staring at the ceiling.

"For that matter, why am I so awake first thing in the morning? Don't I have narcolepsy?"

With no answers appearing, he did his best to let muscle memory take over, and it dragged him through a shower and finding clothes in a large plastic bin under his bed ("but why though?" he asked while digging through the bin to find socks), before pouring orange juice and putting a bagel in the toaster ("Mmm, berry flavored bagels, I have good taste").

Congratulations!

Hello my new friend! I understand you might have some questions, but we'll get to that in a moment! First of all, you now have superpowers! Yay! These powers will be based off of the Yogscast Trouble in Terrorist Town roles, items, and randomats... to start with. As time passes you will get more powers, and with eventually, those powers will expand to include other things from other "sources", like Blood on The Clocktower. Now, to start with, you will be getting a new Role every day, since as much as I would love to give my favorite human (that's you!) all the things immediately, that would stuff you so full of random crap you would immediately explode in a way not even I could resurrect you. Your metaphysical self, or metaphysique, or soul or whatever you want to call it can't handle everything at once, but my new method of exercising your soul by grabbing your metaphysical limbs and waving them around like a wacky wavy inflatable arm thing will expand your metaphysical container. I call this newfound method "exercise", and it will let me stuff more power into your soul at a rate of about 1 role per day. However, if you exercise your soul yourself, I can stuff power into your soul more quickly, and since I will be stuffing power into you soul as soon as room becomes available, you don't have to worry about your soul shrinking back down like it normally does with humans and human-adjacent mortals. Now, you might be wondering "Why did my new super-cute and fantastic Eldritch best friend pick Yogscast TTT to start expanding my powers with?". Well, simple. It's important enough to you that you will understand it well and quickly grasp the mechanics; even after I put you back together after I found you, you still remembered a lot about it. Also, I can give you the power of "respawning" right off the bat with it because it's so easy to stuff your soul with it because you already care about it. So yeah, you'll respawn every 10 minutes at full health if you die, unless you choose not to, in which case you will obviously stay in spectator mode. Or if you have other roles or randomats unlocked that take place after death, you can keep doing things with those instead of respawning. You can expand your soul yourself the normal way, by doing things. The more interesting and stimulating (to you) the things you do are, the more you expand your soul, and then I will stick my "soul finger (tentacle)" in to your newly expanded space to keep it expanded until it is expanded enough to fit something new. What role you get each day will be random, and so will any items and randomats you unlock. You can have as many roles active at once as you want, and can deactivate any at will. You can also carry any "game items" in your inventory, but not regular items. Every time a "new round" starts (which is every 10 minutes), in addition to respawning, you also get a new pistol, shotgun, sniper rifle, and a credit if you have any roles active that can buy from a shop. You will be able to access your shop mentally at will, and more items will be available in the shops for each role as your "soul" expands. Eventually, you will be less constrained to your role as the original game exists, and things like a Hypnotist can actually hypnotize people, a Good Boy lets you turn into a dog, a Possum will grant you a Possum changer form, and a Mad Scientist will grant you a Tinker specialty, all in addition to what they would normally do. That won't happen for a while yet of course. Finally, your first role has come in and it is... *Drum Roll please... or Drum Role! Hah, I'm hilarious aren't I* Old Man! Yay! Oh... hmm... That is quite possibly the single worst possible thing you could have gotten isn't it? I'll tell you what, it's simple enough and the downside is significant enough I can squeeze the double jump into you from the start because you don't have another role that would counteract the Old Man's downsides. Now, don't get spawn-camped until tomorrow, and I will see you... Next time. Goodbye!

Huh. I understood... none of that in real words.

Excuse me?

Yeah, it was like, I got the gist and the meaning, but with no actual words. It was kinda trippy really.

Oh fuck me. That's not good. You really were in terrible shape when I found you. Good thing I managed to find an Earth to plop you into so quickly so you stopped de-existifying. Granted, there are some slight context clues that make me suspect this wasn't your original Earth, but I'm sure it'll be fine. It's okay, you're still my favorite human, even if you are a little... damaged. Oh, also, I set up things for you so you don't get lynched as a witch or whatever they do to outsiders on this Earth, it should give you a little bit, emphasis on little, of the local "common sense" as a bonus to your housing and possessions I Realitied into existence for you. I am declaring "Realitied" to be a word now, so write that down as well!

Thanks, I think. He grabbed a notepad and did what his instincts told him to do, and wrote down the word "that", before grabbing his sadly cold bagel from the toaster.

Who knew trying to decipher weird soul alien language took enough time to make a bagel fully toast and cool down to room temperature.

Then he used his newfound common sense, and put the bagel back in the toaster on the lowest setting so it could heat back up.

---

Exiting his apartment door, he saw a woman who was apparently his neighbor exiting her unit as well. Locking the door behind him, he decided to follow his instincts, which had definitely no points of failure.

"Hi, I am Dave! I am a Yognau(gh)t and I have the balls. Are you Dave! Yognau(gh)t with the balls?"

She stared.

Nailed it.

 

[Phili]

AN: If you aren't familiar with TTT and/or the Yogscast, you can still enjoy this, but will need to accept deep in your heart that you won't get every single reference in this chapter or the story.

January 1, 2010. Brockton Bay.



"So Bella, can you drive?"

It turned out that she was not in fact a Yognau(gh)t, her name was "Bella not Dave you imbecile!", and she did most certainly not have the balls and she resented me "risking her being attacked by Nazi morons hearing an idiot ask a woman if she has balls and assuming she is trans."

I naturally assured her I wasn't a dirty traitor, I was just an old man.

She stared at me and said "You are college age dude, are you trying to make actual old people angry at you?"

I did the only thing I could in response to that. I double jumped.

"Fine, where do you want me to drive you to?"

"The Beach please, Boat Graveyard area. My common sense is tingling and it's telling me that is where I should go. It also tells me that it's definitely Zylus, but he's not here, so I suspect my balls are defective."

She stared at me. She seems to be doing that a lot huh. "I am so going to regret this, but this is literally the only interesting thing that has happened to me this year." Huh, she was smiling a little.

Wait a minute…

"What day of the year is it today?" I asked ever so slightly suspiciously.

"Shut up and follow me to my car."

"Okay," I agreed happily. I won after all. Double jumping was truly the ultimate charisma. I didn't even need to T-Pose for dominance to intimidate her into doing my bidding… not that I would dominate someone without consent of course. Even with consent I might not do it really. Unless they deserved it of course, I think she mentioned Nazis earlier to, so I may need to practice my (T-Posing) skills a little before I dominate them. I might also do it if it was funny.

---

After observing Bella on the way to her car and the way she treated dogs (she stared at them because they were cute little good boys and girls, yes they were), I concluded, she could not possibly be a terrorist, therefore… she was a good person. In other words, a traitor!

Man, the TTT analogy really breaks down the instant you bring civilians into the picture doesn't it.

"So you're a parahuman right? I'm taking a parahumans studies class at Brockton University, so I think I'm academically required to ask: What's that like?" She asked after we got into her car.

"Well, if you are defining Parahuman as "an individual most likely of the species Homo Sapien Sapien in the possession of one or more "superpowers", then yes I am a parahuman". She seemed like she wanted to stare, but needed to keep her eyes on the road so she just sighed instead.

"And so far, it's been a bit of a mixed bag, on the one hand, I can double jump and it seems like my narcolepsy is gone. On the other hand, I'm about 95% sure that stubbing my toe will now kill me." She screeched to a stop. Good thing we were at a red light, I'm pretty sure she would have done that even on the highway. Maybe cars aren't the best place for this sort of discussion?

"What the fuck do you mean a stubbed toe will kill you?" Ow, woman, don't screech in my ear. At least my hearing damage seems to be cured as well, hopefully she won't bring it back with her dramatic antics.

"Well, my power—"

"Wait, should you even be telling me this?" She asked suddenly, and she already cares! I knew bringing civilians into terrorism was a good idea. Look at the results!

"Well, one of my powers is that I come back to life after I've died every ten minutes. Unless I want to stay dead of course, in which case I can obviously."

"Right, obviously," she agreed as the light turned green.

"Anyways, I knew you were Innocent when I saw how you treated the dogs, you looked upon them with proper deference for their adorableness and good boy-ness. Wait a minute… I decided you were a traitor earlier. Man, this analogy thing really breaks down with civilians."

"Right, you're just a weird idiot, that's why you decided I should be trusted. You're so obscenely lucky you picked a decent person to… latch on to or whatever it is you're doing," Bella concluded.

"Anyways, as a terrorist, I need to be a very good judge of character, and the tingle in my balls tells my you are a good person."

"Please, just go back to talking about your powers, I can't handle you being you that much while I'm trying to drive."

"Right right. Anyways, I get more powers as time goes on, and the ones I have get better, though both have an element of randomness." As he talked, she looked more and more like she wanted to interrupt, but was also determined to drive well. Perhaps she was concerned about him dying if she hit the breaks to fast based on his earlier comment? That was probably it.

After only a single sentence, she did end up interrupting, "Okay, this is genuinely fascinating-"

"Ahah! You said genuinely! I knew you were a traitor!"

"Shut up I'm trying to be serious! Anyways, this is really interesting, but also extremely unsafe to talk about all this while I'm driving and trying to concentrate, I'm having to take a longer route to the Boat Graveyard to avoid potholes so I don't somehow kill you because the roads are in terrible condition in this city for mysterious reasons I'm sure." She said the last bit sarcastically. Unfortunately, his common sense didn't tell him what the actual reasons for potholes were, so her sarcasm was undeserved as the answer was not common sense and therefore not worthy of sarcasm.

She finished off her thought with "So for now, just tell me what I need to know about for your safety --and my own I suppose though that doesn't seem to be a worry with your powers—then when we get to the boat graveyard we can finish the conversation. I assume you wanted to go there to test out your powers; which is fine as long as you don't do anything flashy, but if you do anything too large it will attract attention you probably don't want from either the gangs or the PRT. After we've had our conversation and you've done whatever testing you wanted to do, I can call a friend of mine, she's completely trustworthy and is something of an expert on Parahumans. She'll be able to give you advice and help going forward."

"Wow, you've already deduced things about why I wanted to go places and thought things through. That kind of thinking is just what you need to be a great Terrorist. You have a bright future in terrorism Bella. Anyways, right now, and only for today, I am in a condition that you can think of as like being a video game character on one health, but one health is also the maximum health, so a doctor wouldn't find anything wrong with me, but even a gentle tap with a crowbar would instantly kill me.

On the bright side, because my power is a fantastic good boy/girl/nonbinary, I also will respawn every 10 minutes if I do die."

"So, you're like a worse version of Alabaster? Also powers aren't sentient or gendered." She asked after ignoring my amazing compliment on how smart she was.

Well if she's going to ignore my compliments, I'm going to ignore her obviously incorrect statements regarding the sentience of powers, and since she doesn't even know about powers being sentient, obviously she can't be trusted to be correct with regards to their genders. Honestly, making broad-sweeping assumptions about an entire… species? I'm going to say species. Making broad-sweeping assumptions about an entire species like that is incredibly rude and insensitive. Racist even. Maybe sexist too.

"I don't actually know what alabaster is, but I don't think it respawns if destroyed. I thought it was either a plaster of some sort or a pottery material, but if it respawned after being destroyed I'm pretty sure we would make a lot more stuff out of it."

She almost tried to face palm before putting her hand back on the steering wheel. "No, Alabaster is the name of one of the local Nazi capes. He returns to his original condition every 5 seconds or so, which means even if he dies or is injured, he will be alive and in perfect health after only 5 seconds instead of needing an entire 10 minutes."

"Damn, my power was really proud of figuring out a way to get me to respawn. It's going to be so disappointed now, and look at me with those big metaphorical, metaphysical puppy dog eyes. Like this." He said, before transforming into a Pikachu and looking up at her.

"AHH!" she screamed and slammed the breaks. Because he was now a Pikachu, his seatbelt wasn't tall enough, and he went flying into the windshield and died instantly.

---

Author's note: Don't worry, he isn't a real Pikachu. He can just change his skin/character-model. Anything he could reasonably find as a player model in the Steam Workshop is fair game, but it is mostly aesthetic (for now, that won't change for a while, if ever though). He is genuinely bigger or smaller though, so he can fit more places and make himself taller to see things, but when he is bigger, he isn't any stronger and is mostly just a bigger target. Next time, we will see Dave using spectator mode, Bella being forced to make a decision on what to do with the dead Pikachu in her car, and a nice calm picnic on a scenic beach before Bella calls her mysterious friend. Not necessarily in that order.

 

[Phili]

Chapter 3: Who's That Pokemon Cape?!

January 1, 2010. Brockton Bay.



It turns out, when he dies, he goes into Spectator mode.

Continuity of consciousness baby! Dave thought triumphantly. Before realizing he now had a panicking Bella he couldn't communicate with fretting over his dead body.

His fucking adorable dead body. Seriously, it was the cutest dead body he had ever seen. Shame it was dead.

"Oh god, oh god, THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO DELAY THE CONVERSATION, you FUCKING MANIAC!" She screamed at his dead body, sobbing slightly. Wow, she got attached fast didn't she? Maybe she knew him before he lost his memories? Or maybe she just didn't have many friends and imprinted on him. Oh, she's doing something.

Bella took out her phone and called someone. "Hey, I know we were supposed to meet up later, but I got sidetracked with something really important, and I need your help with a dead body."

Wow, did she already forget that I told her I could respawn? Does she just have a memory of a goldfish? Is she stupid or something?

"No, I'm only sort of joking. I met a cape, I don't think he was a cape yet actually, but a parahuman, and he sort of started following me around like a baby duckling that imprinted on me and I had to help him before he hurt himself out of idiocy. He said one of his powers was that he could 'respawn' ten minutes after dying, but I don't know if he had tested that yet or was just going off of a feeling he had or something. He wasn't—isn't? –the brightest blub in the shed, and he might be a little insane, so he might have just misinterpreted a feeling he got from his power without actually testing it."

Oh wow, she's actually really smart. I didn't even think about the possibility I could be insane and not actually have all the powers I thought I had, or that I could have misinterpreted what my cute little soul alien was trying to communicate with me. Truly, I am a genius for grabbing onto a smart person and roping them into my shenanigans. Now she's invested in me, and the sunk cost fallacy will prevent her from leaving. It is completely unrelated to the fact she was literally the first person I ever saw after waking up with amnesia. Her claims of duckling imprinting are totally unfounded. Obviously. Oh, I missed some of the conversation.

"So, you can meet me at the boat graveyard to either help us test things, or bury a body? Uhh, either way, could you also help me clean my car, there is a little blood now, but it's all on the passenger side of the windshield, so it's not a worst-case scenario, I just don't know how to clean blood, from glass or from anything else."

"Yeah, I'm setting a timer for ten minutes now, it's been a couple minutes already, so if the timer goes off, I'll panic then, but I think I can drive to the boat graveyard without panicking now. And yes, I am assuming you know how to clean blood." Bella said into the phone, before the person on the other side of the phone talked a little more.

"No, he turned into some sort of yellow rodent, like a cartoonified mouse a couple feet tall that was then made real."

More indecipherable phone noises.

"No, it has black ear tips and brown stripes on its back, why? I know you aren't going for a zoology degree have you heard of an actual animal like this?"

"Why would I be familiar with Earth Aleph Japanese Cartoons and games? Of course I've never heard of a Pikachu. Yes, it is the cutest thing I've ever seen. He was trying to do puppy dog eyes but it startled me and I slammed the breaks. He slipped out of his seat belt and slammed against the windshield and fucking died. I felt so bad, I mean I would have felt terrible anyways, but him being in that form made my heart just about burst when he died."

"No, just because it's the cutest thing I've ever seen doesn't mean it's a Pikachu. It could be a completely random changer form totally unrelated to your weird cartoons."

"Fine, if—no, when—he wakes up, after you arrive, we'll ask him what it is, without asking leading questions, and if he says "Pikachu" I'll watch your weird Aleph Cartoons with you."

Bella sighed, "Thanks for helping me out, I was starting to panic a little. I'll see you at the boat graveyard in a couple minutes. Try and get there before the timer goes off will you? You need more practice going fast anyways girl, flying is one of your strongest features." She hung up, took a deep somewhat shaky breath, and started the car back up, with the dead Pikachu now surrounded in a towel, like a burrito. A bloody burrito, which is probably why the towels were there and the body was where it landed below the windshield instead of on the seat. As it was, it just looked like a weird pile of towels instead of a dead body.

Already thinking about hiding the body, as well as disguising the body. She truly did have the potential to be a great terrorist.

Hmm, the car seems to be leaving without me. Shit, the car is leaving without me!

After a little concentration and definitely-not-constipated-ghost-noises, Dave managed to anchor his perspective to the car, which was rather neat. Though he supposed it was only logical he would be able to do so given his perspective didn't go flying into the void of space after he died because the Earth doesn't exactly stay still, so his perspective must have originally been anchored to the Earth, and it was simply a logical extension of that ability that he could anchor his perspective to other moving objects.

Now that I have a few minutes though…

He felt around his soul and powers a little. It was easier without his body distracting him, and even more so now that he noticed something else. A feeling of slight growth every ten minutes had stopped.

I see, because I was the Old Man, in addition to only having one health, there was another aspect I forgot about. The Old Man's only win condition, is being alive at the end of the round. Since I'm not alive now, I'm not winning, but until now I had been "winning" every ten minutes as each "round" ended. That feeling was my Karma increasing from winning. Normally, extra karma doesn't do anything besides providing a safe buffer before you go into low Karma, where you will start doing less and less damage, until if your Karma gets low enough, you automatically get banned. Does that mean if I kill enough people "on my team" I would get "banned" from Earth Bet? Or from life?

Either way, I have a feeling higher Karma does something for me. Since low Karma decreases damage, maybe higher Karma will increase damage? My common sense tells me that would be a necessity for accomplishing anything on Earth bet. Normal guns just aren't enough against too many possible opponents, and even a Red Matter Bomb won't do much if it is as it is in the game. Though, maybe I could eventually "upgrade" a Red Matter Bomb to be closer to its inspiration, in which case it could probably either trap or kill one of those Endbringer things.

Now, how am I going to test if higher Karma means more damage? I can't exactly shoot someone and ask how much health they lost… can I?

…

No I don't think I can. Damn. I'll have to ask my new super amazing and smart friend Bella for ideas. Wait, I should save the flattery for when she can hear me, and do the insults when she can't hear me. Truly, I am a genius for thinking of this.

---

While Dave was pondering how he must be a good person because he has so much Karma, Bella was busy driving to the Boat Graveyard. It was completely deserted. It was actually a little creepy how deserted it was, but Bella brought the Pikachu corpse out from her car, still surrounded by towels, along with a large beach towel and a small toy beach shovel.

That would be the most humiliating thing to ever be buried with, Dave thought as he stared at the pink plastic toy shovel Bella brought out… for some reason. Why did she bring this actually?

Oh well. He floated around a little more, before deciding to make good use of his time in spectator mode while he can. He would feel really shitty if he didn't respawn at the first opportunity and she thought she had killed him permanently. Also, she might start burying his body by digging a hole with the little pink shovel, which would be humiliating. And he's pretty sure he can still suffocate considering he is certain he can still drown. So being buried alive would really kinda suck. Maybe he could eventually unlock the Detective Role and buy a teleporter, but he thinks he would need to set up a receiver port or something in advance to designate where to teleport to.

Wasn't there also a Teleport Attack item that teleported you to someone and then did damage to them? That might work, but I doubt it would be available right from the start, and I don't remember if it was a detective item or a traitor item, and I would need to figure out a way to determine if someone was an acceptable target in case they were already injured and using it on them killed them. Maybe I should just go with the plan of "Don't get buried before unlocking Detective and buying a teleporter and setting up a receiver port? I can make an exception if I get Parasite, Phantom, or Medium I suppose, as long as I get killed by a person… that isn't myself. Then I can deal with being buried since I can come back by either getting whoever killed me killed, or just waiting long enough that I burst out of their stomach if I am a Parasite role when they kill me. Okay, a plan has been formed: don't get buried, alive or otherwise. Maybe I should turn into something bigger if I think I am about to die so I would take longer to bury… I'll ask Bella for advice, I think.

After making his plans regarding being buried, Dave decided to stop wasting Spectator time, and kill two birds with one stone and start testing Spectator mode while making sure there was nobody nearby to spy on them. It wouldn't do to have an Informant find out he was an Old Man after all.

It turned out, while he was noclipping into a solid object, he could see through it. The ground counted as one object, so he was probably lucky Bella was wearing pants and not a skirt or else he may have gotten slapped. His common sense was telling him that the excuse of having seen Sailor Moon's panties plenty of times wouldn't have worked very well. Which was nonsense, that was a great excuse, so he started suspecting that maybe… just maybe… his common sense was slightly defective.

Regardless, he scouted around the area, found a surprising amount of sea life in the water, was promptly more than a little traumatized by how brutal ocean life is when you can actually see it, and found no humans nearby, Para or otherwise. Except that one flying woman he seems to be coming closer. He's pretty sure she isn't important though, that would be silly.

Oh shit, she's trying to strangle Bella! Around the chest! With her arms! Wait, I think that might be a hug. Nevermind.


Author's Note: I banged this out quickly to make sure nobody would think there was a risk of the story ending then and there at the previous chapter. This is not a troll story (as in a story where I the author am trolling the readers).