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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. B00ki5h

    B00ki5h Verified: Oddball, Lurker, and Dabbler

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    Considering she cleaned an entire auction house of dead bodies, chairs, and blood? Any particulate kyrptonite pulled out of her and the coins taken from her.
     
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  2. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    I searched through the last 10 pages of the story only thread and she hasn't appeared at all in that time. I get that it's not practical for you to show every non-core thing he does but like, if you want the audience to care about the relationship at all you gotta treat it as a core thing at least once in a while.
     
  3. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    What anti-kryptonian measures are there, anyway? Kryptonite, sonic weapons and brute force were all already used without much success. All in all, Kryptonians and Kryptonian-equivalents are not easy to counter.
     
  4. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Green K usually works without outright killing.
     
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  5. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    I did say "Kryptonite was used without much success", didn't I? Or, technically, gold kryptonite radiation worked perfectly fine, but Kara grabbed magic coins that grant her equivalent powers anyway, so it didn't matter.
     
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  6. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Odd that Kara didn't just super-speed rip the rings off his fingers and crush them.
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The SI doesn't know. If pressed, he'd say that there's a good chance it would pass through one side of her and out of the other, but that wasn't his preferred resolution.
    Desire nullification works really well for selfish people, but does little on someone being evil for the sake of it.
    The SI could do something like that. In fact, it's likely to happen without him, because of the sheer power metahumans can possess. But the United Planets comes from how the Reach separated different metahuman strains up, and that particular thing won't be replicated without them.
    Truggs had some and someone opened the storage case.
    I'd avoid Superman's cancer screening results in ten years if I were you.
     
  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    So something similar like in the comics may happen, with metahumans creating their own worlds, or humans being altered by their environment or altering themselves.

    Though I can see the Reach playing a part in creating something like the UP in the new timeline.

    That being the various powers united to fight them see the benefits of cooperation and create a United Planets like organization.

    So Superman is going to get cancer in your story?
     
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  9. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Narrator focus indicates what's important to the narrator. What does it say about the importance of Paul's relationship with Jade to the former that she’s just a scarce afterthought in the narration? It's the same reason that Wildbow stating that Taylor Hebert was heterosexual despite all the attention she paid to how pretty various girls were was met with... incredulity.
     
  10. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    She is seemingly in the whole "gloat while having you on the wrong side of an arrow shaft" part of evil.
     
  11. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    She was, she supposedly dropped that after he tried that mechanical containment construct.
     
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  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    A wider alliance, yes, but it's on the other side of the galaxy from Earth.
    That was a flippant comment on my part, but... Probably at some point?
     
  13. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja The Blade Will Never Die

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    If he could environmental shield her, why couldn't he shield the kryptonite radiation? Also, does he have any of those antimagic chains?
     
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  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    At least he has access to tech that could help him cure himself.
     
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  15. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    In Pauls defence, the host of heaven did kill him once.
     
  16. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Superman can't get Cancer, as long as his powers work his body heals of anything but losing a body part better that perfect. Yes better that perfect as he gets stronger over time; save AU Supermen done for drama.

    Superman can even heal fron heavy Green K poisoning with enough solar energy.

    Edit: No, I am not making this up. Superman only gets old or gets Cancer if the writers feel like it, most of the time he recovers completely.
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Unfortunately the writer of this story feels like it.
     
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  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He could and did. Unfortunately, that didn't do anything about the radiation she'd already absorbed.
    Yes, but they wouldn't do much about the coins since both the coins and the thing they were affecting would be inside the chains. Otherwise they'd have chained up Nabu and laughed as the helmet just fell off.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2021
  19. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Yea... It's easy to forget Zoat actively hates a lot of DC characters...
     
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  20. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja The Blade Will Never Die

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    But they must still limit the ability to affect the self, otherwise wizards would just be able to shrink or shapeshift out of the chains. Or give themselves super strength and break out.
     
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  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes, but it does that by preventing wizards drawing power from the local thaumosphere, or in Nabu's case from the Plane of Order. The coins carry the power to do what they do in themselves.

    It's like the difference between a mains power cable and a battery. The battery powered device doesn't care about the lines going down.
     
  22. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    This makes me want to ask questions you likely don't have the answers to. Like if the energy that powers magic is primarily an internal thing, or if most spells take their energy from primarily external sources. As well as if mages are more limited by their souls ability to manipulate energy, or if they are more limited by their internal reserves.
     
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  23. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja The Blade Will Never Die

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    Hm. So wizards have no noticeable internal reservoir, at least insufficient to pull the tricks needed to shuck the chains, and the Coins have sufficient battery power to maintain kryptonian level powers completely cut off from thaumosphere? Considering the manacles are probably made of orichalcum or mithril, which should take a bit for even a kryptonian to break, that's pretty impressive.
    Some other thoughts are if he could have subspaced the black kryptonite while the environmental shield was there, and if he can do the opposite of the apathy trick to try and drown out the evil with Kara's actual desires. Which might work if it's effectively making her feel the more aggressive form of Black.
     
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  24. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Superman getting cancer? I guess Superman is getting another child - Kancer

    Yeah, comics, Superman got stalked by his own tumor. :)
     
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  25. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Huh. I thought she destroyed the GK Radiation contruct he was making before it could get off a shot. The coins are surprisingly strong.
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The guy just can't catch a break from obsessive weirdo stalkers.

    For gods sake, one was so obsessed that he made a kid.
     
  27. hkim

    hkim Know what you're doing yet?

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    And here I thought Dark Supergirl was the one wanting to be Hoover Girl.
     
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  28. Threadmarks: Future Tense (part 18)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    13th September 2012
    09:50 GMT -5


    "That's The Sensational Sucker to you!"

    How.. to describe.. what we're looking at?

    Imagine a vacuum cleaner. Not an old bag-based vacuum cleaner or a modern Dyson. No, imagine a Henry; the red and black ones with the smiley face on it. Imagine that it was lilac and grey rather than red and black. Now imagine that rather than having a hose coming out of the nose it instead has two hoses, each coming out of one of the shoulders. The hoses appear to be able to move on their own recognisance but don’t appear to have a significant amount of strength behind them.

    Now add a skirt, because this is a child-friendly technological abomination.

    Thank you H-Dial.

    Kara is clearly as puzzled as I am, but at least this new stimulus has her attention.

    "Does it come with instructions?"

    "Ah… No, actually."

    Dana rolls back on her wheels a metre, then stops. Then she trundles forward at the same low speed.

    "Okay, I think I've got it."

    I use the opportunity to quash the fires Noriel generated when she ignited the packaging material. Kara doesn't appear to feel threatened, and since I've got the kryptonite she should start recovering. The more she's delayed, the better.

    "We do need this place cleaned up a little. I mean, you definitely can't hurt me with those things."

    "Okay, let me-."

    WWWWWRRRRHHHHHHH!

    The vacuum hoses spring to life, writhing around and drawing all of the loose material in the room towards them.

    Oh gods I can already see where this is going. The Dial must have some sort of twisted artificial intelligence.

    Kara looks around as the hot debris is drawn into the hoses. I'd guess it's all ending up in the Sensational Sucker's storage vessel, but I suppose that it might equally just be being annihilated.

    "Yes, good. Can you suck bigger objects too?"

    "Let's find out, bitch."

    The Sensational Sucker raises her suckers and points them at Kara. The only result I can see is that Kara's hair is now blowing towards the nozzles, and she raises her left arm to keep it out of her face.

    "Yes. Terrifying. I was wondering how hard it would be to rip my way out of your dust compartment, but it looks like you can't even manage that much. Hey, Paul, what happens if someone using the Hero Dial is killed while they're transformed?"

    "Not going to try a HORROR transformation?"

    "Not for our first time."

    "There is no record of anyone being killed while using the Hero Dial."

    "Then it looks like Dana gets to contribute to the cause of science. Don't worry: I'll make sure you're fully credited."

    Dana thrusts her hoses at Kara as she drifts closer, forcing her to wrap her hair around her left hand with an eye roll. Much like normal vacuums, when the end of the nozzle makes contact with skin it forms a seal, causing the skin to bow outwards slightly.

    "Hey, that ticklehey!"

    Kara starts to lunge, then falls to the ground as the coins are sucked out of her.

    "OOgh!"

    I immediately wrap her in construct chains and haul her out of the way-

    "Ugh. Hah!"

    -before adding a straitjacket -.

    "Kinky."

    Underwear and a straitjacket.

    Kara pulls against them for a moment, then relaxes. "What now, lover boy?"

    "That depends on whether you overdosed on black kryptonite or not. If not -and that's what I'm hoping- then you'll turn back into a moderately traumatised Kara Zor-El. I will describe your behaviour in detail after I have destroyed all of the black kryptonite on Earth."

    "And if I have overdosed?"

    "Then we'll have to try something radical." I scan her, getting a picture of her brain and monitoring it to see how the patterns of activation deviate from her baselines. "Well done, Dana."

    "Ah…"

    "Yes, what-?"

    A now enlarged suction hose is pointing at my face.

    "Dana."

    "Yeah, see, now I feel bad about this? But I work for the Legion of Super-Heroes, and… You're… Kind of accused of breaking the law."

    "Do you have a lawful warrant for this state?"

    "Not in… This century?"

    "You said Earth was part of the Thanagarian Empire. Are you a law enforcement officer in the Thanagarian Empire?"

    "No, but the human species is part of the United Planets. It's covered by the fact that our historical origins-."

    "Do the Thanagarians agree with that interpretation?"

    "No, but they don't-."

    Behind her, Noriel presses the 'deactivate' button on the Hero Dial. Another puff of smoke and Dana reappears in her human form, a neat pile of debris-

    I grab the coins from the top of the pile with a construct claw and affix them to my undersuit.

    -made from all of the material she sucked up materialising next to her.

    "Thank you, Noriel. Dana Dearden, you are under arrest for police impersonation, specifics to-"

    "He-y!"

    "-be determined once I find out how that works in this state."

    "I wasn't impersonating a police officer!"

    "You falsely claimed to have the authority to arrest me and I need something to put on the form when I send you to gaol. It will most likely not go to trial, but I really want to put this whole Legion mess to bed."

    "Paul?" New Kara descends into the underground level, looking around as she tries to spot me. "Something happened with-. What happened to you? Why is Other Kara tied up like that?"

    "Sometimes adults-."

    I gag Old Kara.

    "Had a bit of an accident with some kryptonite. Nothing to worry about, but-."

    There's a blast of air and she's gone.

    "But you-."

    She reappears, a crate of glowing rocks in each hand!

    She sees my expression and shakes her head.

    "Don’t worry! Kryptonite doesn't work on kryptonians from parallel universes! I'll go and throw this into the sun right away!"

    Another blast of air and she's gone.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2022
  29. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Nice. OP Kara for the win.
     
  30. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Ohh, God, I can see this being used in some superhero porn parody.

    'rather than having'

    'debris are drawn

    Well, that was handy and quick.

    So did New Kara just get all the kryptonite on the planet, since I think it would be well within her capabilities?
     
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