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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    At least on the homosexuality thing.

    The other issues like race, religion etc., well for that they may be like the other loyalists.

    Fortunately Karl isn't that strong, though he's probably stronger than Clark 16.

    True, though he may not think it odd that there are other versions.

    He has already been to Earths where the Nazis lost, so it may not be so shocking.
     
  2. Istaran

    Istaran Getting sticky.

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    A statement like this practically demands that grammar Nazis point out you used "their" where it should be "they're".
     
  3. preier

    preier Not too sore, are you?

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    but can Grammar Nazis feel love, that is the question.
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    It doesn't count-.
    Oh fine.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  5. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

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    I thought that was already his intentions but he has to take it very slowly due to politics and the culture of Nazi Earth not being receptive to the idea of racial equality.
     
  6. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Essentially Overworked

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    No, my cold, dead heart feels only unforgiving rage at abuses against the English language.
     
  7. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Versed in the lewd.

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    Found a mistake in an older chapter. That should say 'Karas'.
     
  8. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    I'm not totally sure if he'd be trying to get rid of it altogether, or if he's trying to create his idea of "reformed" National Socialism.

    A big part of why his version of Earth is as "utopic" as it is, for those considered racially acceptable anyways, is because of his own efforts. He feels guilty about the genocides, but pride in a lot of other things he helped build in that world.

    Did go back and read some of his stuff again and the prevailing attitude as expressed by their version of Jimmy Olsen (Jurgen Olsen) in an interview is basically, "Why do you feel bad about the genocides? We live in a utopia. What could you possibly regret?"

    ===

    I also took a look at that Freedom Fighters "sequel". It's kind of dumb and blatantly set in an alternate version of Earth 10, but I guess there are some interesting bits. Like the fact that they can apparently mass produce Plastic Men to serve as their secret police. Though comic book writers have to be dumbasses and write it as PlaSStic.

    Otherwise they keep trying to do dumb stuff I can't take seriously. Like they banned baseball and went out of their way to exterminate the bald eagle. Also seems to act like Overman and Overgirl were the only supers the Nazis had other than their Plastic Men, and I'm pretty sure it acts like the destruction of Metropolis never happened. (They actually try to put in an "As seen in Mastermen" while simultaneously saying the Nazis covered it up because the Freedom Fighters weren't being openly violent.)

    And, well, in Mastermen Overman was effectively in charge while this story suddenly forces in a Hitler II and a Hitler III.

    Really, in general, the "sequel" series just had me rolling my eyes. In part because I just feel stories like the one it told completely defeat the point of "evil won" universes.
     
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  9. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    Klarion.
    Trigon possessing his body.
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Yes, it was a big step back. The whole point of Mastermen was that neither side were good. The civilisation Kryptonian technology built sits atop the graves of millions, while all the Freedom Fighters can do is kill more people. And then suddenly Uncle Sam has been absent since the end of the war and the Freedom Fighters are good?
     
  11. DbDRAKE

    DbDRAKE Possibly some sort of Actual Dragon?

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    I like the characters of Nazi!Kryptonians so far.

    Not being a nazi is good, but getting indoctrinated from birth and then deciding on your own and at personal risk that Facism and Racism Is Bad, Accutally is double good.
     
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  12. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  13. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    No.

    Their technology is source wall or anti life powered, depending if it is New Genesis or Apokolips.
     
  14. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    So if paragon gets to deal with the germany, and time trapper dealt with china, does renegade get to deal with superman red son and soviet russia?
    While I wouldn't put it past DC to have a comic where Japan rules supreme, I'm coming up short on one where Italy took over the globe to cover the axis and cold war big names.
     
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  15. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    I miss time trapper.
     
  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    That's basically what I said.

    Technology powered by a mystical force.
     
  17. Threadmarks: Fall Over (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    3rd July 2282
    19:07 MTZ


    I smile as I head away from the Pueblo City fortifications, the piles of burning super mutant corpses lighting up the evening behind me.

    Cerberus is still a threat, but this particular thrust of his… Its? Army has been ended on the banks of the Arkansas River. Tomorrow, we press on and destroy their campsite and begin destroying the tendrils of Cerberus's flesh that have extended this far from Los with the aid of Brain's trained super mutant hunting giant mole rats, while AA-equipped sentry bots from the Denver Defence Network keep the cazadors off us. All around Cerberus's territory the peoples I've brought together are starting to engage Cerberus's forces in what I hope are overwhelming numbers; Guerra and Santa Anna working their way up from the south, Texas in the east and WARDEN in the north.

    Caesar's Legion aren't helping, and that's why the NCR army has stopped on their own side of the Colorado River. Our planned offensive into Legion territory won't be happening for a while, and… Mr Sallow wasn't willing to make a pact that would see him joining in our crusade himself. There are a few Speculatores keeping an eye on us to make sure that we don't swing around and attack him from the east -which we will of course, but not until after Los is a burning hole in the ground filled with roasted Cerberus- but he's otherwise avoiding the whole mess. I imagine that he's hoping that we'll weaken each other so much that he'll have time to regroup and retrench.

    What's actually going to happen is that as the result of Centurion Paullus's rampage everyone in both Mexico and New Mexico hates the Legion except President Vialla and I already turned him. Which means that this campaign will serve to unify-.

    "Hey Krono!"

    I tense up as the hulking form of a C-22 Humanoid Robot appears out of the darkness, then immediately relax again as I see the LED visor showing three pink hearts mounted on the front of its head.

    "Good evening, Doki."

    Even in the madness of the Wasteland, Doki Doki is an… Odd one. The result of an inexplicable series of upgrades made to a pre-War personal computer by the robotic juggernaut ARGOS, Doki Doki is a fully sentient pre-War Japanese dating simulator who rules the area of eastern Colorado around Robot City. Virtually the entire population of her lands are robots, some of whom were parts of the Denver Defence Network before the war and the others just… Just sort of wandered here because of ARGOS's beacon and the lack of any contrary orders. Once they arrive Doki loads a portion of her program into them, and…

    I'm just glad that weird love polyhedron she was trying to set up between herself, ARGOS, ODYSSEUS and WARDEN is done with. I'm not completely sure that WARDEN understands what he won, but…

    It gets pretty strange in Robot City, is what I'm saying.

    The heart on the left is replaced with a waving hand, while the heart on the right is replaced by a winking eye. It's a strange thing to see on an eight foot tall war robot.

    "Not yet, but it's going to get better!"

    Okay, as far as I know Doki is largely indifferent to human suffering and death. Her thoughts revolve entirely around romantic relationships, which means that she prefers humans to the sterile asexual super mutants, but she's got a city full of robots with personalities derived from dating sim characters to play around with so she doesn't appear to feel the need to reach out to gather more toys.

    "Oh? Who's the lucky man/woman/other?" Actually… "Have you found a female talking deathclaw? I heard rumours that-."

    "No! But I was talking to Commander Carlton Alwyn-" The man in charge of the Sky Walkers' forces in this area. "-earlier and he told me that you're SINGLE!"

    Oh shit.

    "Doki, it's not-."

    "And that you haven't even dated!"

    "I've… Been busy. There've been quite a lot of wars-."

    "You're a chief!" Wink eye becomes a crown. "You've done more for your tribe than any chief before you!" Waving hand becomes a 1st place medal. "Your whole tribe wants you to get married!"

    "A… Few… People have… Mentioned something along those lines?"

    I mean, I lost my virginity to Mesmerelda, a clinically insane raider who thought that she was a magician. And she was killed and eaten by an actual magician. It's not as if I was strongly attached to her or anything, but…

    The robot lunges forward, all three emoticons replaced by smiling faces with hearts in their eyes!

    "But that's okay! Because Doki Doki-"

    "Doki Doki." / "Doki Doki." / "Doki Doki." / "Doki Doki." / "Doki Doki." / "Doki Doki."

    I look around cautiously as I hear the other robots from the Robot City contingent echo her declaration.

    "-is here to help!"

    THUD.

    "Okay? Do you..? Want to introduce me to some people?"

    THUD.

    "Yes!"

    THUD.

    I nod. Alright, I'm sure that I can survive a few dating minigames-

    THUD.

    Brilliant lights shine from the riverbank, provoking shouts of alarm from the encampment!

    THUD.

    "ARGOS HAS ARRIVED AT DESTINATION."

    Thirty metres tall. Thirty metres wide. Sixty five metres long, not including the tail. Missile pods, anti-missile lasers, Gatling lasers, armour that would put a main battle tank to shame, six giant legs and a 'face' made up of a smiling speaker grille and a couple of armoured cameras.

    "PRISONERS READY FOR RETURN."

    "Ah, pr-?" I turn back to Doki. "Prisoners?"

    The three emoticons now show a pair of interlocked rings, a ball and chain and a simple depiction of a map.

    "PRISONERS of LOVE! ARGOS just needed to have his capture protocols edited a little!"

    Oh no.

    "All PRISONERS of LOVE have been selected for maximum compatibility based on available data!"

    Oh no.

    "Which wasn't very much!" Three question mark emoticons. "But I'm confident that at least one will be a good match!" Three green ticks.

    "How..?" I glance at the huge robot standing on the shoreline. Huge and powerful, but not all that fast and not at all subtle. "How exactly did ARGOS capture them?"

    "Satellite guided bondage missiles!"



    I'm going to have a great many people to apologise to after this, aren't I?

    "And... What happens to unsuccessful applicants?"

    "They come back in the sequel to sabotage your relationship out of jealousy! No harem route here!"

    "Okay. So, if this is a-"

    THUD. THUD. THUD.

    Argus turns and through a slot in the outside of one of ARGOS's hull-mounted prisoner detainment pods I get a glimpse of the enraged face of General Veronica Guerra, daughter of President Dante Guerra.

    I mean… She's not incompatible with me. Or it didn’t seem like she was in the meeting we were both in where we didn't exchange two words.

    "-contest of some sort, where is it taking place?"
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2022
  18. Katillno

    Katillno Verified Nobu fan

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    Oh my god this is exactly the kind of high end crazy fallout can be that I love so much
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'that he'

    'wants'

    Words no one ever expected to hear.

    Boo!

    The love lives of the various Pauls are many and varied.

    And also fucking weird.
     
  20. I_S

    I_S Getting out there.

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    What there are links here why are there links for these characters, what hell hath thou wrought on the poor innocent wasteland.

    Ps. Where can one aquire satellite based bondage middles.
     
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  21. jasonh23761

    jasonh23761 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Some days I forget how truly off the wall OWB has become with their world building.

    At this rate I'm just lucky you didn't enable the Kaiser's legion, though I'm pretty sure an update broke that and they never fixed it.

    Also the Equestria invasion.

    ...I just want my Alamo Chapter with their power armor that looks like the NFL Monday Night Football robot.

    Edit: Has Paul met with Diana yet and seen her little Garden of Eden? She does have the means to bring both new life and new horrors to the wasteland, one way or the other.

    Now I'm just imagining an organization going around trying to lock down old world crazyness before the new powers can get them. Things like Big MT, Diana's Eden, Sierra Madre Casino and the prison full of psykers up near Oklahoma.
     
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  22. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah, I think Paul needs to get on fixing at least some of this programming. Single minded obsession in killer robots can be...suboptimal.

    Maybe find a sympathetic sane-ish AI and work from there?

    "Doki Doki of the Violet Lantern Corps..."
     
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  23. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Zoat, You are a master of the non-sequitur cut away, and I have mood whiplash like no other.

    Kudos you utter mad man.

    Edit: apologies for the story only post. my only excuse is the degree of utter bafflement this entry caused.
     
  24. crazygrox

    crazygrox I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I feel that both of the originals work.
    Especially the first one, where your edit makes the sentence mean something completely different.

    Not understanding 'that he' won implies that he knew the contest existed but doesn't understand that the contest has reached a conclusion, or doesn't know what that conclusion was.
    While not understanding 'what he' won implies that he knows that the contest existed, reached a conclusion, and that he was declared victorious in it, but implies that he doesn't understand the implications of being declared victorious -namely, winning the heart of a thinking dating simulator-.
     
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  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, that's correct.
    Thank you, corrected.
    The grim dark future of the 3rd millennia.
    They decided that the last update was a good time to default-on the comedy factions, so Kaiser's Legion is back.
    I wouldn't mind if they weren't so overpowered.
    Yes, she's been mentioned before.
     
  26. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 Not too sore, are you?

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    Huh, back to Fallout the day after I finally get New Vegas on PC. Neat how that worked out.

    I'm fairly certain that the c in city should be capitalized, no?
     
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  27. Doccer

    Doccer Not too sore, are you?

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    What is a Bondage Missile? Please tell me something so ridiculous exists somehow on the net?
     
  28. jasonh23761

    jasonh23761 Know what you're doing yet?

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    That's good, I haven't played OWB in a few months, kind of exhausted my potential options so I switched to playing TNO.

    Honestly with the whole NSB release and concurrent update it will probably be a few more months before OWB is steady and adapted enough for me to pick it back up again.

    Also my Desert Rangers are going away and I'm a bit sad about that. I did have a fun run playing The Cause like the Rangers from Wasteland 3. A mix of foot based light special forces and mechanized regulars.
     
  29. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    There is an Elseworld in which Superman was a medieval Japanese peasant who ended up Emperor.

    While it wasn't shown a Japan with a royal family able to kill with a look and the potential for reverse engineered Kryptonian technology probably did pretty well for itself.
     
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  30. crazygrox

    crazygrox I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    This makes me wonder what the heck is going on with Super-mage.
    https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Earth-33

    Sponsored magic via a deal? Fueling magic from his own stores of energy created from solar power? Something to do with Rao maybe being in his ancestry somewhere?

    Regardless, I bet a Kryptonian who had mastered both magic on their own powers would be able to metabolize magic attacks in the same way Angelika has been shown to be able to metabolize a bunch of things to charge herself.
     
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