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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Impartial Panic

    Impartial Panic I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So Far we got Hell and The Shadowlands.

    There may be the Bleed which would help facilitate the universal crossings.
    The Dreaming is another possibility.
    The Faerie realms who's name eludes me right now.
    Various Afterlives Such as Valhalla and Tartarus

    Yeah Good Luck with that, I imagine The Silver City sent reinforcements to lock down the gates of eden.
    Probably with orders that if it isn't from the silver city hit it with everything they got and let hell sort the bodies out.
     
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  2. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Klarn Arg A.K.A. Immortal Man is an immortal Caveman that usually shares his origin with Savage and possibly Mitch Shelley A.K.A. Resurrection Man. So the problem isn't the meteorite it was Savage who was an evil psycho even before he became an immortal.
     
  3. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh goody, Eldritch Fuckery, one of my favourite tropes.

    'Form'
     
  4. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Going to the DC Atlantis when there is literally Hell on Earth?

    Is Oh El going over a checklist of stupid things to do and then actually doing them?
     
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  5. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He went there to see if there is anyone that could potentially help him deal with the Hell on Earth situation, since Atlantis is a magical nation, so it's perfectly understandable that he'd think that they may have been able to somehow resist the whole Hell thing.

    They didn't survive, but checking to see if there's anyone there isn't exactly a stupid thing.
     
  6. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Yes it is because as pointed out the demon thing has been going by two years.

    If the Silvanas didn't survive and let me remind you; they have a base on Venus, then everyone in Atlantis is dead or in the side of demons.

    The smart thing to do us to deny Demon Superman the home advantage, lure him into another Earth were they have everything needed to take him down.

    Don't go into a Tinker/Mad Scientist Lab and don't fight a demon in Hell.

    And if Demon Superman won't leave his Earth then use hit and run tactics.
     
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  7. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Trying to recruit locals is entirely pointless because if the locals had the means or will to fix their situation they would have done so ages ago... Asking for Intel IE what he did with Lantern Green Man is correct, but everything else has been stupid.

    He could ask for local support if the strike force from Earth 16 was sufficiently powerful and numerous to manage things on their own to a certain degree... Two and a half Kryptonians and a powerful lantern without a connection to the local embodiment are a powerful force, but not sufficient when Nabu literally told them Demon Superman has an army of demonic metas doing his biding that likely includes mirror images of the metas that exist in 16.

    Even more so when our group does not want to kill their enemies...
     
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  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    So?

    A few chapters ago we saw a place where the demons still haven't taken over, and Atlantis had access to powerful magic, so it's not that difficult for Paul to think that they may have survived.

    They didn't check the base on Venus, only a base on Earth.

    The Sivanas may have left the planet, or they could have been killed, but just because they have a base on Venus that doesn't mean they were somehow immune to being killed.

    They tend to spend time on Earth and could have been killed then.

    Not really.

    Getting information from the locals would be extremely valuable.

    True they may not have much of a way of undoing the damage but that doesn't mean that they weren't studying the situation, and that info would be valuable.
     
  9. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Intel value increases the more complex a situation is, there is little complexity here, there is no gray area in regards to who is the bad guy and who needs to be stopped.

    Sorting out how the demons are invading Nazi earth is important in the same way disabling the Suez Canal was important during WW2... If you can decapitate your enemies swiftly then holding the Suez is irrelevant and can easily be done after your enemies are broken.

    This is a filler arc that hopefully will tie to more important things later, but on its own I am not invested even more so with the hoops the narrative has taken to mitigate the resources/characters involved.

    If Nabu had sent Paul to Demon earth as a fuck you during assimilation, that would have achieved a more interesting development with similar constraints to the characters involved in the episode (less characters from the large pool at Zoat disposal). Having Paul and his little strike team jumping half cooked with no plan feels stupid in comparison.
     
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  10. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Have you missed the part where the superheroes are trying to save as many people as they can, including all the ones that were corrupted by demons? Because that's what they're trying to do, and that means figuring out how the hell to properly reverse what's happened. Which means understanding the situation.

    They need to do scouting and intel gathering before they can have anything resembling an actual plan.

    Hell, at the moment they have no proof that it's even this universe that's doing the invasions, just the word of Truggs of all people, so they need to find that out before they can tell how many resources to put into fixing this problem.
     
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  11. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    When I was talking about intel I meant intel about how this happened, how it is exactly affecting people etc., which they may find in Atlantis since it's a magical nation with advanced sorcery and knowledge concerning magic, not who the bad guy is.

    As Assblaster5000 said, they want to reverse what has happened here and that would require them knowing how it happened in the first place.
     
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  12. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    They already know how, it was literally done a few updates ago. All they need is to do is hold down Demon Superman long enough for any of their allies with angel magic to burn the demon shit out of him, if that kills him well who cares?

    There is zero complexity to this problem beyond learning exactly what Truggs was doing and how the demons are jumping to Nazi earth, as far as the fic is concerned the stakes in this episode couldn't be lower.

    If Nabu had sent Paul against his will a lot could be justified in this episode... Since that didn't happen things feel extremely contrived.
     
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  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Except not really.

    They only have one example of a corrupted being, the Demon Supergirl, and when Loriel burned out the Hell magic from her it didn't get rid of it completely, some if it became a part of her very soul.

    Their current method is a bit too brutal and does not fully work so it makes perfect sense that they'd want to find a better one that would get rid of all the Hell magic, as well as fixing the magic of the planet itself.

    Finding info in Atlantis would be a good way to do that since it's not such a leap of logic to think that they'd study what happened and how it happened.

    It's like how medical professionals study the development of disease in order to figure out a way to cure it.

    And seeing as I'm using medical examples to describe the situation, Loriel's method can be viewed as something like an amputation and these guys may want a less severe method.

    Amputations were once used pretty frequently to get rid of iinfectionsand disease but people still try to find ways to get rid of disease without cutting off a part of a person.

    They may care since they want to cure the people of this world and if the method kills him then they may not be able to do that.

    You forgot the complexity of how the people and planet is being changed by the Hell magic.
     
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  14. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Hell earth doesn't matter, is the location of this weeks episode. It's filler. I don't give a fuck about anything that happens in it and the things that happen in it do not seem to be related to any of the larger plots in the fic at least the few remaining interesting ones, because what Truggs and the light have been doing isn't really interesting because there is no background build up to it.

    If random people had been showing with Sivana tech and there had been some build up into investigating it, it would have been different.

    Long history short, the ground work hasn't been done to make me care a single iota about this.

    If we had been seeing a couple of updates from the POV of a Paul in demon earth ending with his corruption or death, then I would care.

    If our Paul had been dropped there against his will without support for a double episode like star crossed, I would care.

    As the situation currently goes this arc is filler.


    Edit: Also there is no tension, is Paul going to die... Permanently? No.

    Is Superman going to die? Literally who cares?

    Does anyone care if either Overman or Angelika die?

    The answer to all of that is no. With no tension and no narrative attachment this arc is filler, words without purpose, bloat, etc.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2021
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  15. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ah yes, hold the magical super-Krypotonian with their group as one of The League's theurgists burns the demon magic out of him, I'm sure that will not only go well but also work in an alien, corrupted thaumosphere which we have direct quotes from the single oldest, most knowledgeable mage alive that says their magic would be unreliable at best. But that hardly matters, Dr. Mist is old after all, his mind's clearly going.

    And of course the billion plus people on Demon-Earth don't matter, because most of them aren't named characters that we've ever met, so who cares if they're damned to a life of eternal suffering and torment because Superman decide to punch demons real good instead of saving lives? No interesting bits of narrative could possibly be had from them trying to find a way to fix the damn problem, no sir.

    What's that you say? This is uplift fiction, so solving big, sweeping problems like that is the whole point? Don't be silly, we all know that no one would care if Superman, the man with perfect morals, left a bunch of people to suffer and die because a whole world of people "don't matter."

    Why didn't I think of all that?
     
  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Then why are you complaining about the actions of the SI that you view as being illogical, even though they're logical, when you don't care about this part?

    You're practically acting like a mini-Vaermina.

    The characters from the story who have a close relationship with him, the readers of the story who like the character etc.

    Actually for this I'd say it's yes.

    Primarily due to Overman and Overgirl potentially setting up a future episode in which they try to reform Nazi World.

    It would be kinda difficult for them to reform it if they're dead.
     
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  17. Sojiko

    Sojiko Getting sticky.

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    This world is unsettling.
     
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  18. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    It's one where a demonic Superman rules America with his demonified superheroes as his lackeys. Of course it's unsettling. I just hope that Paul and the rest can get something useful from this trip to hellish Earth. Also, Mr Zoat, which is a more appropriate designation: Demon Earth or Hell Earth? Or will you give this one a number?
     
  19. Clell65619

    Clell65619 Making the rounds.

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    Oops. Yes I did.

    STILL, a whole lot of stuff happening in 41 minutes.
     
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  20. Threadmarks: Past Participant (part 20)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    16th September 2012
    17:24 GMT -2


    "How's your sense of-?"

    Two great hands made of shadows close in on either side of me. Ah. Large crumbler gauntlet constructs and punch and no, okay, grab?

    "Distance? We're not in-"

    Grabbing and overcharging the crumbler system appears to disrupt the formation of giant hands. It's even making the faces a bit blurry. But they're not going away, and I don't think I'm doing any actual damage like this.

    "-Kansas anymore."

    "That hurt-"

    Superman looks around, firing short bursts of heat vision in all directions, possibly attempting to illuminate the area and find a source.

    "-worse than the-"

    No luck, and now the tentacle mouths are wrapping around his legs and chest. They don't seem to be squeezing, but they are impeding his movement.

    "-teeth."

    Making sense of what's happening with so many translucent phantasms appearing in the blackness isn't easy, but-. Blade!

    "You've got-"

    I generate a shield construct in the way of the approaching spear made of shadow, but it punches through! Superman spots my construct and pulls himself aside, narrowly dodging and causing it to slice the tentacles binding his legs in half.

    "-armour."

    "I offered. Ideas?"

    "I could spin around real fast."

    I take x-ionised knives out of subspace and try using them on the shadow tentacles. It… Sort of works. I cut them apart and they don't just reform, but it doesn't stop more appearing.

    "Is that a serious suggestion?"

    Multiple giant blades thrust towards Superman and he dances through them, striking the flat of each with his fists as he passes.

    "Is that?"

    He grabs a broken blade tip and hurls it at an oncoming shaft. Both crack and fracture before merging with the background blackness.

    "You don't have some kind of portal?"

    "Several. None I've tested in conditions remotely similar to these."

    The faces are swimming in and out of focus. I send a crumbler gauntlet construct at one of them, but again, not enough effect to get excited about.

    "How about the Ophidian?"

    "Parallel universe. Might work, might get the local one and don't really want them exposed to demon magic. Last time I did, I became rather brusque."

    "Brusque? I'd hate to see that. How are you doing for ring power?"

    "A long way from worrying."

    Ring, analysis. Is there one primary head? One head which always starts the facial expression?

    No observed primary head.

    "I can try assimilating it?"

    "Isn't The Shade weak against sunlight?"

    "It negates his obtenebration, yes. It doesn't actually hurt him."

    "Glad to hear it." He reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a small crystal. "Har-Zod called this a sunstone."

    "If it's unique, don't-"

    He throws it back the way we came, then fires a burst of heat vision at it!

    Blinding white light blasts outwards, the blackness vanishing and normal water reappearing as it goes! I blink as the sudden change happens faster than my ring can adapt to, the blur causing-.

    Something-. There.

    I rocket forward, grabbing the figure before putting a bubble around him and rocketing back to Superman. The light burst has faded and the shadows are creeping back, though nothing like as quickly as they arrived.

    "Who is it?"

    I get a better look.

    "Richard Swift. And he-."

    Behind his smoked glasses his eyes snap open, and-

    "You do not bear the mark!"

    -the shadows are coming back and mage slayer round through the bubble and shoot him in the head!

    "Uh-!"

    Because with all this Shadowland influence around I'm hoping that there isn't quite as much demon magic around here as there is everywhere else. And… Yes, shadows move between the top and bottom of his mouth and return its dimensions to normal, and there's a little more of him in his eyes-. He tries focusing on me.

    "You…"

    "Mister Swift?"

    A swarm of skulls made of shadows batter into the inner surface of the bubble!

    "You do not bear the mark!"

    And the faces are back.

    "Mark." / "Mark." / "Mark." / "Mark."

    "Got another stone?"

    "One."

    He fires a line of heat vision down a row of faces as he tosses it to me, and I grab it with a construct. One railgun round for that, one with a tiny piece of one of Angelica's discarded feathers and hope that he was serious about that whole 'God wants nothing to do with me' line.

    Bubble down fire sunstone shield eyes-

    "RAAGH!"

    -fire angel round-

    "AAGH!"

    Gold fire roars over his body, causing him to shudder-. Oh whoops, that's a light source. His skin burns and blisters as the demonic magic is -hopefully- purged from him. The Shadowland immigrants around us fall away and fade, and as I look upwards I see the ocean's surface.

    "H-aa. H-aa. H-aaa."

    Mr. Swift is… Not in good health, but there's no sign of demonic activity and his powers appear to be under control. He weakly opens his eyes, makes momentary eye contact with me, then loses consciousness.

    "London?"

    "London."
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2021
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'How's your'

    'so many'

    Yeah, if you thought this Paul was am asshole you really don't to see him on Hell magic.

    Well fuck.

    'one of Angelica's'
     
  22. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should say 'your'.

    I'm a little surprised someone of his magnitude of power was also defeated and corrupted.

    That should say 'Angelica's'.

    That should say 'His'.

    If nothing else, they got at least one potential new ally against Demon Superman. I'm wondering how he would interact with the Shade from Earth 16. Would he know about Simon Culp and inform his counterpart about the dwarf's presence?
     
  23. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Honestly the dark abyss at the bottom of the ocean probably IS a good place for someone with shadow powers.
     
  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    It may not necessarily be a matter of power.

    He could have been corrupted due to Hell's unique magic interacting in weird ways with his, or he probably never experienced anything like this before so he had no idea how to counteract it.

    Or Demon Superman could have used some magical help from his slaves.
     
  25. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Ha, is collecting allies like pokemon at this point.

    First you have to weaken them,then you imprison them in a ball XD
     
  26. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Oof, the Shadows getting awful touchy-feely. Thankfully, OL has lots of melee options that should be effective against them. Best option, though would be not being in melee range in the first place. Too late to get away now, though, or so it seems...

    Hopefully whoever's behind the shadows is having the same kind of mental feedback that Lanterns get when you smack their constructs with Crumblers. Which might cause them to let up enough to get the dodge out of Hell.

    :rolleyes: Urgh. I pity any child Clark has someday, because his Dad Joke skills are as super as the rest of him...

    Might be time to start turning up the heat, Supes. Holding back won't help you here.

    At least they aren't going for his pants. Last thing anyone needs are those kind of tentacles... :p

    Maybe sonar would help? Or is the Ring already running that only to find no solid masses to ping off?

    Well, that's lucky. Seems like the shadows aren't being uniformly controlled, or whoever's in charge simply doesn't care.

    ...Honestly, that might work. A whirlpool of turbulent water might help to break up the mass of shadow a little, let them get their bearing.

    Fascinating. Simple dismissal of the cut parts, or is the shadow-user actually finding himself unable to rebuild them?

    The joy of trying to fight someone with superspeed. Presumably whoever's in there isn't able to think quickly enough.

    Eh, a visit to the Honden might be a bad idea around here. The local Ophidian might take exception to a stranger coming into her place. And every other method is kind of reliant on navigation...

    Hopefully the bad guy's getting tired? ...eh, probably not.

    That's putting it mildly.

    After all, most of his constructs are low-intensity. His shielding constructs are probably the ones being pushed hardest...

    Damn, they're too smart to leave an obvious weak point (Of course it wouldn't be glowing, being shadow...) :D

    ...Right, the Earth-16 League don't know Shade's been sandbagging for fun, do they?

    Huh, and you're going to use it.. as a flash-bang? I suppose it'll super-charge you too, as a handy side-effect.

    Dangit, OL, this is not the time to be that RPG player. You know, the one who doesn't use the rare and unique item because it's rare and unique?

    Ah, the source of the darkness? The caster in charge? Snaggit!

    And it looks like the Sunstone has made the shadows wary. I'm impressed.

    Huh. Now, did he flee here after Demon Superman took over, or is he...

    Well, shit. What a time for Supes to not be wearing his usual top, huh?

    Don't worry, he doesn't need it as much as you think he does. :p Joy of being a portal into an eldritch abyss, that just happens to look human out of habit.

    Evidently the focus of the corrupting spell is the 'S'-symbol on the forehead. Good to know, even if you can't really use the same method against other more squishy sufferers.

    Toss another mage-slayer into his head? Or is this going to require something more drastic?

    Yes, because that wasn't creepy enough yet. Thank you.

    Welp, there goes the stockpile. But sometimes, you just gotta blow the good stuff on a mini-boss...

    The first to make him fully corporeal...

    And the second to... Purify him? That or put him down. But I don't see OL wasting a potential ally that easily.

    ...Ouch. Yeah, that'll leave a mark. Hopefully not one of Cain, mind.

    Probably wishing he had the strength to swear at you. Because I bet that really, really stung. Like, 'paper-cut dipped in lemon-juice' painful... Could have been worse, I could have said 'stepping on a LEGO 2x4 brick in the dark'..

    ...Because sometimes, the mini-boss can be recruited.

    Well, that's a potential game-changer. I assume Swift is in charge, or they'd look like a horrible little cajun dwarf. Though I shudder to imagine the state of his mind. How long was he stuck like that, I wonder? And how have the O'Dare family of Opal City fared, since his lady love of that era was a part of it... I fear that the Shade may be in for some more pain, of the emotional kind... :(
     
  27. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    then -> them
     
  28. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Actually, they do. Paul straight up told Wonder Woman that the Shade's always been sandbagging the Justice Society. She later challenged him to a fight, after which she admits that Paul was right, and even had the injuries to prove it.

    Edit: Adding another part and removing the double post.

    Mr Zoat, I was rereading some old parts and this stood out to me.
    In here, it's implied that Donna already has the Lasso of Persuasion.

    However, in this part, it makes it seem like Donna only got it after her exact parentage was confirmed. Is the lasso in the earlier part just one that looks like the Lasso of Persuasion?
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2021
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  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They actually do, or at least Diana does.

    Paul told her and she went to see if it was true by challenging Swift to a fight.

    She lost. Badly.

    The rest of the League may know but they may not think about it too much since he's not really connected to them.

    And I think Zoat mentioned that light can hurt him, at least a bit, in a previous post.

    Swift has probably never experienced that much light.

    The last think they need is them being hurt every time they try to hurt him.

    And this thing about Cain's mark and a great darkness has me thinking of the Supernatural versions.
     
  30. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    So now that I think about it, are there still living people on Earth because superman let them live, or because it would literally take him weeks to months to hunt everyone down, and he just couldn't be bothered? Or maybe both?
     
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