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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    That's adorable.
     
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  2. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Versed in the lewd.

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    Oh? You've never eaten before with this mouth?

    Why not try the taste equivalent of a nuclear bomb!
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I am under the impression that equines had a better sense of taste than humans. As such, it's more that it's the only thing that stands out as 'normal'.
     
  4. Sojiko

    Sojiko Getting sticky.

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    I've been waiting to see Luna turn into a human for a while now, and it's even more adorable than I had hoped for.

    Speaking of Grayven and his girlfriend...
    I'm not sure I've ever seen Luna react to that side of Grayven, his willingness to put himself in ridiculous situations.

    She's got good eyes.
     
  5. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    The sheer contrast between the SI and Renegade’s respective social lives.

    Odd that there are no automatic defences or fixed fortifications around the mirror portal. Greyven is usually better about not leaving gaping holes in his security setup.
     
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  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Luna's got access.
     
  7. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Luna the Alicorn sure. Luna the human? New God?
    This comes across as the first time she has been bipedal. When could her current body have been added to the system?
     
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  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    It's probably scanning things like her magic or soul.

    Or maybe renegade brought some or genetic material through the mirror before and it turned into what she is now so he added it to the system.
     
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  9. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    He doesn't recall that Starswirl is still alive?
    Surprised he doesn't have a warning system for when unscheduled visits come from the other side?

    ???
    Probably more a Maud thing.
    Show probably couldn't figure out how to do bakery without that basic necessity.
     
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  10. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    When used in reference to people, pnuematic means busty.

    Although I don't think I've ever seen that used outside of Brave New World.
     
  11. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    Who is Bethany? I can't recall.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    One of his vampire/succubus children.
     
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  13. Senevri

    Senevri Not too sore, are you?

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    Horses and deer and cows are... Opportunistic carnivores, I think?
     
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  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Happened after he left Earth Prime. He didn't know who Sunset Shimmer was either.
    There probably is one, but he doesn't need to be personally informed every time Sunset feels like popping home.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2022
  15. Flightless Man

    Flightless Man Versed in the lewd.

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    Yeah. Horses and cows will eat a baby chicken (grew up on a farm, horrifying the first time you see it at 8), and deer go hunting for bird nests to close to the ground. Many herbivores will eat birds when given the chance )specifically the legs, because of how much calcium is present).
     
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  16. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I mean for whatever is coming thru rather than leaving. Last thing anyone needs is a Changeling or worse coming thru to try their fortune here and\or screw up his place and\or steal his stuff.

    Also she doesn't look particularly flat in 2 if those picks.
    Also I don't understand people that prefer Flat or the whole concept of Flat Is Justice.

    What's that bug thing in the crook of her arm? Is it a helmet?
     
  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Probably, but does it matter? After all, it doesn't change Grayven being wrong.
     
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  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    In the third picture? A stuffed doll, I believe.
     
  19. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Mr Zoat how many children does Grayven have and what are their names?
     
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  20. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Go to tv tropes in characters, specifically orange lantern's loved ones, and you can get the episode that reveals the names of the succupires.
     
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  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Lynne
    Paul
    Bethany
    Maeve
    Stephan
    Mary
    Christopher
    Clare
    Sarah
     
  22. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Thanx and am I misremembering or wasn't one of Gravven's kids named after him?
     
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  23. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That was the Renegade's godson, Rex Grayven Stewart.

    On a tangent about this, Mr Zoat, what happened to Diana, Shayera, and John of Earth 50? Will they work for the Renegade?
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2022
  24. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Technically there's 2.
     
  25. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    What do you mean?
     
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  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    He means the succupire named Paul. As a result, the Renegade has to call him lad or other terms, even in his head
     
  27. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    I want more of this.

    Also what do human like vampires turn into when using the mirror?
     
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  28. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    Honestly, I prefer pictures 1 and 2 from that "flat is justice" post. Mostly just because I feel like it makes more sense for Luna to be light skinned to the point of being pale as part of the whole moon theme, and for Celestia to be the one who would have any kind of brownness. Though even then I still kind of picture her as a white person with a tan. (Kind of a funny coincidence that Luna's VA is ginger.)

    Doesn't help when you have shit like Zecora acting like she came out of a Victorian novel about "Darkest Africa", so I end up thinking of Zebras as the stand in for Africans.
     
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  29. Threadmarks: Workhorse (part 13)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    7th October 2012
    15:15 GMT


    "…that while there isn't any legislation to that effect, the Alignment effectively has-. Had, rather, a command economy."

    Jaggar Ton leads the way down the temporary road laid between the fields in this part of the colony's newly planted farm cluster. Bleez has actually dressed in a somewhat modest fashion, which given that this is nearly a prison is probably for the best. It's not just humans where the male half of the species commit the majority of the crimes. The road is.. like the rollable plastic lattice that they sometimes lay over grass they don't want to destroy on Earth, only a good deal more advanced.

    Jade narrows her eyes slightly as she looks over a group of men erecting a fence.

    "Who got sent here?"

    "Alignment society was completely corrupt. My advice was to harshly punish the worst offenders and let everyone else off with a suspended sentence. Xalitan wouldn't accept letting people guilty of any crimes go free, and my daughter and their organisation backed him." Mr. Ton shrugs. "I can hardly complain about him rejecting my judgement."

    Bleez frowns. "Why?"

    Mr. Ton frowns at me for a moment before giving her his full attention. "I assumed that the Illustres told you. Xalitan was wrongly sent to prison for murdering my wife after I was told by the actual killers that my daughter would be next if I didn't implicate him."

    I nod. "Xalitan isn't happy that he wasn't given the choice to metaphorically throw himself on his sword. And then there's the false witness thing. If they're clearing house, then even if he understands why Mister Ton did it, it's still perjury. Still a perversion of the legal system."

    "Is your daughter okay?"

    Mr. Ton gives Bleez a small smile. "Yes, thank you for asking. I always hoped that her intelligence would take her a long way… And then when she began opposing the state I hoped that it would be enough to keep her alive. I never thought it would take her quite as far as Grand Convenor, especially at this age, but I suspect that she's the best person for the job."

    "What's a 'Grand Convenor'?"

    "In theory, it's someone who brings political representatives together to debate matters of governance. But if you look at our history it didn't take long for it to become synonymous with being the head of our government. In the normal run of things she wouldn't have the experience or power to hold the post… But we're very far from normal times."

    Jade takes another look around. "You're sending corrupt politicians to learn to farm?"

    "Anyone indicted on charges of… Essentially, of being involved in a corrupt system, but not personally being so evil that it's worth charging them individually, was given the option to plead guilty and take a transportation sentence instead of anything more brutal." He makes a small gesture with his right hand to indicate the fields. "This is a good deal more habitable than where Xalitan himself was sent, and we're not isolated to anything like the same extent."

    "'We'? Did you take the deal, too?"

    "I took a deal, but I'm a tier down from them. Someone blackmailed into committing crimes that were of sufficient magnitude that letting us stay where we are wasn't really an option, but where we don't really deserve harsh punishment. So I get to oversee this place for a decade or so." He shrugs. "I doubt that I'll miss the homeworld all that much. Not a lot of good memories, and too many bad ones."

    "Is it permanent?"

    "For them? Yes. For me? No, my appointment has a definite end date, and I can leave for a little while. But I can't simply resign and go somewhere else."

    Jade nods. "How are you enforcing that?"

    "Seizure of assets, lack of communication equipment and the fact that there isn't anyone left at liberty who might be inclined to help them. Xalitan is enacting a root and branch reform. If he missed anyone, I doubt that they'd be prepared to risk themselves to help someone who couldn't offer them anything in return. And they aren't soldiers or scientists or engineers; not people who could offer something to a party outside of Alignment society which might result in their evacuation."

    "But I doubt that you're popular if your daughter's the one who put them here. What's to stop them coming after you?"

    "I'd like the answer to be that they're too rational. With no one here to exploit, some of them are going to have to work the farms whatever happens, and the old hierarchy has been destroyed. There's no leadership. If I'm killed, what happens?"

    "The representative of the government which put them here is dead." Jade regards him levelly. "Only one person has to make an impulsive decision."

    "We haven't had our first crop yet. If I die, everyone here gets to fight each other for the food they'd need to live until harvest, and they get to do it without any replacement parts for their tools, or for anything else. I'm the only one armed and armoured. I have a small supply of strike drones and one is-" He glances up. "-always on station, and I can call in reinforcements if I need them. Doing that would result in the summary execution of everyone here with a transportation sentence, so I expect that they'll deal with rogue elements themselves."

    "What about next year?"

    "Next year the first wave of people actually sentenced to transportation by a court will arrive. These farms are training for the full-sized farms that we will be setting up. We will still need to bring food in for the next five years or so. After that, I assume that they will have acclimatised to this lifestyle."

    Bleez frowns as she peers at the labourers.

    "Where are the old ones?"

    "It varies. Older politicians and civil servants were more likely to occupy senior positions, so a lot of them are awaiting trial and execution. Some were given jobs requiring less manual labour, though those have very strict attainment targets. This isn't supposed to be an easy option. If they're too decrepit to cope with any sort of labour, they could volunteer for a life sentence in a Class C prison."

    Jade raises her eyebrows slightly. "'Class C'? Is that Alignment minimum security?"

    "It should in theory be just as secure as the other classifications. The difference is that the regime is less harsh. The Alignment traditionally doesn't usually imprison people for extended periods of time; it's usually transportation or execution. Long term imprisonment is for government officials who might find themselves returned to power if things shift a little."

    "Huh." Bleez smiles. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way? But it's kind of nice to hear about somewhere worse than Thanagar."

    Mr. Ton nods. "I imagine that it is. Is Thanagar fixing itself?"

    "No, but that's why I'm here. I want to help fix Thanagar!"

    "The planet, the Empire or the species?"

    "The-. The planet." Bleez frowns at him. "What do you think's wrong with our species?"

    "You're dependent on Nth metal for your flight ability and strength. Nth metal doesn't exist outside of Thanagarian space. My species can live anywhere that most other humanoid species can. What happens when the people of Thanagar are born elsewhere?"

    Bleez bows her head, her wings twitching up as if she were going to mantle herself.

    "Congenital deformities. Horrible ones. And sometimes the mother dies too. But I'm a singer and songwriter and pretty decent economist. I'm not a doctor."

    "We could do with some economists. Most of the ones we had are on farms like this."

    "So you could use some more?"

    Mr. Ton shrugs. "I'm a farm overseer. It's not my decision. But I think so. I don't know if anyone is keeping track of things. Last time I checked, our major industries were running on momentum and a lack of competition."

    "Would your people accept Thanagarians working on that?"

    "That depends where they were coming from."

    "Havania."

    "I don't know where that is."

    "It's one of the old colonies?"

    Mr. Ton frowns. "Don't the old Thanagarian colonies have slaves?"

    "A-hhhhh..?"

    "I see." His frown deepens. "Then I think you should probably get your own world set to rights before getting involved with ours."
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2022
  30. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They still may try to kill you out of spite.

    'has to make'
     
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