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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. FourthPear

    FourthPear Frequent Flier. Muted

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    Okay, for a second I thought he was doing something very different with that goat.
     
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  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    We're just using ritual sacrified to power our magic, nothing wierd.
     
  3. FourthPear

    FourthPear Frequent Flier. Muted

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    Either way, that Goat has seen some shit.
     
  4. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Are you completely sure that it didn't just happen off-screen?

    Especially when the groom is too lazy to muck out the stall on time.
     
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  5. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

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    Well from his behaviour you can tell he is at least culturally British, if nothing else. :D
     
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  6. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    If souls maintain connections to memories even when mechanisms for reincarnation are supposed to erase them, that bodes poorly for Hades hope of wooing persephone via Paul's scheme.
     
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  7. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Eh even gods get affected by divine magic and this is divine magic. Besides if it doesn't work he just helps them get a divorce, he doesn't really care either way.
     
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  8. Flightless Man

    Flightless Man Versed in the lewd.

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    For my own headcannon on PErsephone/Hades, I want it to work out for them. As someone who likes to see writers try something new, I hope they split up in an interesting manner.
     
  9. Windona

    Windona Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

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    Okay. I started this fic at the beginning of January. In a fit of insanity I decided to binge read the whole thing, lunch breaks, at home, etc. And I just now caught up.

    First thoughts:

    1) What entity did Mr. Zoat make a deal with to be able to write this much, on a regular basis, of consistent quality and how do I get in contact? (Asking for me and a friend)
    2) I was not expecting this to be as good as it is
    3) I love all the different DC aspects being brought in. I have a list of comic characters I want to read more about now...
    4) I have never watched MLP. I like Luna and Sunset Shimmer.
    5) The concept of the New Gods here actually works for me in a way they usually don't.
    6) The dramatic irony of the Paragon and Renegade timelines gets me. Teekl's death was sad, but the Renegade where he mocks over it hit double hard because of the Paragon's relationship. Paragon's dismissal of Circe hurts more after reading so much about the Renegade's interactions with her. Etc.
    7) I love the portrayal of Hades here.
    8) The attention to worldbuilding is great. In many ways it's better than canon.

    It's late at night for me, so perhaps I will go into more depth later. But I love this fic!
     
  10. Threadmarks: Fallout: Iowa (part 2)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    2nd November 2282
    15:26 CDT


    "Hey."

    I continue focusing on-.

    "Hey! Chief mutie!"

    I open my eyes and smile at the junior Enclave officer sitting opposite me.

    "Word to the wise: not a good-."

    He frowns. "The hell's up with your accent? Where the fuck are you supposed to come from?"

    "Eastbourne. It's a town on the south coast of England."

    "That really how they talk on the East Coast?"

    "No, not New England. The country New England was named after." Nothing. "It's on a small island north of France?"

    He blinks uncomprehendingly.

    "The fuck's France?"

    Ah. I had wondered if Douglas was just a little slow, but it's starting to look like the Enclave had a very… 'Specialised' education system. Since the Resource Wars couldn't really be described as any sort of moral struggle they're covered in roughly the detail the Boer Wars got in GCSE History, while the struggle against China is covered-.

    I was going to say 'like World War Two', but actually they aren't given the historical context to understand Chinese culture. It's just covered a lot.

    We could correct that. There are a few Chinese ghouls who survive into the present day in northern Denver, the result of their old home country's one attempt to actually land troops in America. A lot of them are reasonably mentally coherent, but… Talking to Chinese Communist Double-Mutants is probably a hard sell at the moment.

    Instead, I reach into my pack and.. pull out.. a map of trans-Atlantic shipping routes. Most of the books which survived the exchange of nuclear weapons at the end of the war have mouldered in the intervening period, and while maps have been preserved, those were mostly maps of North America. This was a bit of a find; preserved in a sealed case in the office of an East Coast shipping company.

    I open it up so that the East Coast of America and Western Europe are both visible.

    "See? New York here, and-"

    "Uh-huh."

    "-Europe is over here, this bit's France and-."

    "Kinda small for a country, ain't it?"

    "The original thirteen colonies which made up the United States didn't cover all that big an area. It just grew a lot due to-"

    "Destiny."

    "-a lack of industrialised competition from local tribal groups, allowing unfettered westward expansion. England is this bit; the southern part of Great Britain."

    "An' that's where you're from?"

    "Originally. Just here." The scale's too small to show Eastbourne, but Brighton's marked on there. "And my point is that it's not-."

    "How'd you get here, then?"

    "As far as I've been able to tell? Alien abduction."

    He frowns. "Fuck you."

    "Polite to constantly interrupt people. What's your name?"

    He hesitates, and a few of the other Enclave soldiers in the truck who'd been eavesdropping start smirking. Then he takes a moment to glare them into awkwardly looking away.

    "Lieutenant Orwich."

    "Pleased to meet you. My name is Krono."

    "You, ah…" One of the soldiers shifts awkwardly in his seat, not quite able to contain his amusement. "You not going to tell him your first name, L-T?"

    "Did I hear somefuck say 'please make my whole platoon do a hundred push-ups'?"

    "Ah." I frown. "Not that I want to undermine your discipline here, but your full name, rank, and serial number are the three things you're obliged to tell me according to U.S. Military Code of Conduct."

    He looks like he's just had to suck a whole lemon. "It's… Mary."

    I blink. "Your… Parents were Johnny Cash fans?"

    "Yeah."

    I lean forward, pat him reassuringly on the left thigh with my right hand and then lean back.

    "Any plans for when you get to Iowa?"

    He shrugs. "I'm a soldier, but I'm a power armour man an' I doubt we'll have anything except a couple a' suits of reconditioned T Forty Five. Fuckin' Iowa, man."

    The Enclave developed their signature Advanced Power Armour suits after the war, but with the Poseidon Oil Rig destroyed in a nuclear blast and all of their facilities overrun the technology is nearly lost. Anderson had just restarted APA Mark II production back up when the NCR attacked New Reno, but they were only able to field a couple of squads with it. Most of the power armour they used was old suits they were forced to preserve using maintenance instructions due to the lack of skilled personnel and repair facilities.

    "It's a fairly safe area, and Governor Autumn really needs farmers and engineers more than infantry."

    The Brotherhood might have acquired the designs from Navarro before it got destroyed during their fight with the NCR, but if so then they're not sharing. Skynet might know, but it's not particularly cooperative and it's quite possible that Anderson wiped that portion of its memory banks. The NCR is having people study captured suits, but… Their researchers are variable in quality. Their efforts at power armour so far are limited to stripping out the servos and strapping unpowered articulated plates to their soldiers so I'm not hopeful. My people could probably help, but heavy armour doesn't fit our tactics.

    "He can cashier me if he wants." He thinks for a moment. "There any mutants in Iowa?"

    "Do you mean 'regular people who aren't part of the Enclave', 'regular people who didn't come from a Vault', or 'ghouls and super mutants'?"

    "Yeah, those."

    "Those were three-." Hm. This isn't working. Try something a little different, with just a little telekinesis to make sure that I get the sound right. "THOSE WERE THREE-"

    Every member of Enclave personnel in the truck clenches.

    "-SEPARATE OPTIONS, MOR-ON! YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUESTION AND YOU WILL ANSWER IT NOW!"

    "'Regular people who aren't part of the Enclave', Sarge-. God-. Damn, you did his voice well!"

    A nervous laugh comes from several of the braver soldiers, the rest settling for unclenching.

    "Thank you, it's a part of my mutation. To answer your question, we haven't located any wastelander survivors. The area is too radioactive for long term human habitation away from the area purified by the G.E.C.K. There are some ghouls in the old cities, but they appear to all be of the feral variety and they're mostly staying where they are. None of the known sources of FEV are anywhere near Iowa, but it's not impossible that a couple of super mutants have wandered this way. There are a few mutant animals around, but the scariest things are leg worms and they've already worked out how to keep them away."

    "The fuck's a leg worm?"

    "It's a type of tunnelling lamprey that waits just under the ground until someone stands on it, then lunges up and bites off their leg."

    His eyes boggle.

    "Fuck the fuck?"

    "But they can't dig fast, and a few ultrasonic emitters with keep them away. Or you could just wear-."

    WHOOOOSH!
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2022
  11. Lone Courier 6

    Lone Courier 6 Wanderer of threads

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    Remind me what’s stopping this Paul variant from getting shot to death by people who by all rights should be shooting him on sight or otherwise be hostile to him?
     
  12. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    Psychic powers, diplomacy between his tribe and the Enclave to keep things civil, so on and so forth.
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Hey, don't worry about it.

    Names can change from being masculine to being feminine and vice-versa.
     
  14. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Author Fiat.


    Psychic powers suck in Fallout.
     
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  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    In this truck? They don't have guns, and have agreed to being reunited with their fellow Enclavers. He checked that they were genuine with telepathy before doing it.
     
  16. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Them not having any weapons?

    Bet's on what the Woosh was? Something ripped off the cars ceiling?

    Ir just the sound if men frantically rushing past Paul to try to get away from the Legworms?
     
  17. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Refutation

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    Damn, John's powers have really grown if he can interfere beyond the fourth wall to give readers a Paulout update instead of plot progression.
     
  18. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Looks like we've got another. Welcome and enjoy your stay.....

    You'll know you've gone properly crazy when you start re-reading the whole thing with the benefit of hind sight.
     
  19. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    For true insanity do it at least twice like me.
     
  20. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Krono again, already? And it sounds like he's riding along with the Enclave ex-pats being relocated? :D So, how's his temper doing, dealing with that pack of racist, jingoistic, under-educated and over-bearing Americans?

    Especially since Krono is not a mutant, in the sense of having been born that way. More like... An Enhancile, but I doubt this jackass cares.

    Like you're one to talk, cowboy.

    Remember, Krono: Post-apocalypse. I suspect they're lucky to be taught anything other than how to work a gun or a knife.

    ...Case in point. :rolleyes:

    Probably in the sense of 'These are the Enemy. This is how they think. This is how they fight. This is how you kill them!'

    Because of the temperament, or the accent? :p Or do they consider talking to 'foreign barbarians' beneath them?

    And there are no globes out there? Or none in good shape, I guess. Such is the world they live in, I guess.

    Though that's months of land travel away. Even with a truck, it's most of a week of driving, if they can find roads in good enough shape to drive on.

    Just because some of your states are the size of a small country, doesn't make other countries small.

    ...See what I meant about jingoistic? :rolleyes:

    ...More or less. I doubt this guy could comprehend alternate universes.

    That's a long story. And one you probably wouldn't believe...

    Well, such a polite fellow.

    o_O ...Oh, there's history there. This is gonna be good.

    You may have read his comic books. Be assured, they're all true. :cool:

    Oooh, that guy's gonna earn such a beatdown later from his buddies for 'volunteering' them for PT...

    ...I'm not going to say you have my sympathies, but...

    In case anyone misses the joke: A Boy Named Sue, by Johnny Cash.

    Yeah, best to let that pass without comment.

    Ah, the joy of lost technology. Scrounging and scraping to keep what they have running.

    Or in the case of these strapping lads, raw muscle to get shit done.

    ...Wow, Fantastic. If that's an example of their average researcher, then they're fucked. Hopefully Krono's crew will be able to teach the morons something.

    He and his buddies might need that attitude drummed out of them before long, I would not be surprised...

    Ooh, voice replication? Clever.

    Boy, talk about deeply-ingrained reactions. I doubt he could use that trick too many times, but if they're not thinking straight or in combat...

    "Oh, thank God. He ain't really here, is he?"

    ...Sounds all well and goo-... Wait, what?

    ...You are joking, right? :confused:

    I'll give him this, he's good at swearing.

    Man, the more I hear about this setting, the scarier it sounds...

    Well, not quite an explosion, but something's popped up. I'm guessing some manner of aircraft. Now, whether it's one of Krono's flying overwatch for the convoy, or someone hostile, I guess we'll find out tomorrow. I suppose OL's business tracking down John has hit a quiet patch, then. Glad he's taking the search seriously, instead of getting distracted again. :sneaky:
     
  21. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Whatever John's doing to stay concealed is breaking the fourth wall!
     
  22. PepeTheFrog

    PepeTheFrog Not too sore, are you?

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    What stops regular criminals from trying to kill prison guards when they're getting released from prison?
     
  23. scooterboo

    scooterboo Getting out there.

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    God, how many words are we at now?
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, he just does it a lot.
     
  25. Signaller

    Signaller Know what you're doing yet?

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    Probably not a workable concept for a Paul variant, but have you read Michael Grant's Gone series? Sort of a better (and earlier) version of the TV show Under the Dome.
     
  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Haven't heard of it.
     
  27. Patrick Holt

    Patrick Holt Getting sticky.

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    vrong?

    Vho?
    Vill.

    Not sure if this is Zatanna or Johana speaking.
     
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  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    It's not a 'v' if it's silent, but thank you for the vills.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2023
  29. Windona

    Windona Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

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    Not this calendar year at least, I have a list of comics to read that this fic introduced me to.

    All I know about Fallout besides the general premise is that one of the houses in Fallout 2 was based on a house a relative lives in, so I'm just along for the ride and accepting Paul's diplomatic endeavors.

    Regarding the Nazi universe, is the 'there are no Jews' true or just what the Reich believes? Blitzen is fun though.

    (as an aside, I can't help but think how funny Paul in something like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing would be.)
     
  30. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They've had decades to destroy anyone that's Jewish, so my guess is that if there is someone that's Jewish out there, then they're very good at hiding.
     
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