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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Vaermina

    Vaermina I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Dude... You attempted to frame Grayven by attacking Granny's forces with a Motherbox at your side while wearing your own armor and wielding your own weapons and power rings...

    It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together when you half ass something like that.
     
  2. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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    Grayven really needs a child to point how the mistakes in his plans.
     
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  3. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sadly none of Gravy's brood qualifies for the "Average 5 year old to point out mistakes" from the Evil Overlord's list. :)
     
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  4. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    Man, taking a different view on beam fights here.
     
  5. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Know what you're doing yet?

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    Is our Gravy going to die here? That seems like quite a believable outcome as far as things stand right now.
     
  6. Zig

    Zig Getting sticky.

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    Do we know anything about the earth 12/50 afterlives?
     
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  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    No? It's an SI fanfiction.

    He will pull some last minute trick, secret weapon, or power-up and either win or run away to regroup and then win.
     
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  8. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Unless Zoat has gotten tired of writing renegade.
     
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  9. hkim

    hkim Making the rounds.

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    That would be a bummer. Grayven arcs are much more fun.
     
  10. Threadmarks: Conqueror's Moon (part 24)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    27th December 2004
    22:18 GMT -5


    Yes, I suppose that I should have realised that Grayven 50 would have some sort of contact with the factions of Apokolips. On the other hand, Granny Goodness is wearing her default outfit and not any armour. But-. She's the faction leader. If I kill her, Grayven 50 can step into her place and take her resources. She might be willing to tolerate him at the moment but she doesn't work for him. Unless she.. thinks that he's a reasonable Darkseid stand-in? How loyal was she to Darkseid?

    And the others? I'd rather rehabilitate the Kryptonian boy. That means that leaving Lashina alive gives me the best chance. She won't be happy if I kill the other Furies. On the other hand, is there any real way out of this that doesn't involve killing Grayven?

    No. No there isn't.

    Stompa leaps through the boom tube as Granny Goodness steps aside, angling her feet at Rayner. He evades easily, then robotic arm construct which grabs her and throws her at Mad Harriet, knocking the lunatic off her feet. Lashina comes through next-.

    Grayven 50 returns his attention to me, his eyes glowing again. I drop a bucket on his head and then create jet engine constructs and blast myself across the room. Weak blaster shots pitter patter off my construct armour, and I intercept a ribbon from Lashina with the Sword of the Fallen. She tries to bind my weapon but her whip fails to entangle it before it slices the ribbon in two. She scowls under her mask and leaps at me with her severed weapon held between both hands so I slam a pile driver construct into her abdomen and shove her back.

    Granny Goodness spots where I'm heading just fast enough to turn away and scramble for cover, but not fast enough to actually get away. I strike her in the back with a smile on my face, only my right arm wrapping around her shoulders preventing the impact from sending her flying. Seize the Initiative.

    "Granny-." So Grows-.

    I draw the Sword of the Fallen with my left hand and slash it across her throat, blood spurting across the deck as her arteries are severed. I'm not sure whether wounds from the Sword will kill New Gods outright or just prevent regeneration, but that should do it in either case. I release her and cancel my jet construct, allowing her soon-to-be corpse to slam into the wall as I use my ring to absorb my momentum. She ragdolls, blood still spilling from the wound as her left hand tries to grip her throat and her right-.

    I dart towards her and grab her Father Box before she can call up a new boom tube. Mine Now. Then I grab her by the hair and hold her up.

    "Now-!"
    Unwilling Servant [subverts] Seize the Initiative.
    The omega beam from Grayven 50 hits her in the chest. Her body explodes, though fortunately for me it's a clean explosion without any of that unpleasant goo-splatter.

    "Granny!" ˥ǝssous ˥ǝɐɹuǝp.

    Lashina's distraction allows Barda to get a solid hit to the top of her head, knocking her to the ground. Stompa and Mad Harriet appear somewhat discomported, while Bernadeth's too busy dodging Rayner's strikes to pay it any attention. I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised that Grayven 50 did that. We did both agree that she needed to die, and he did prevent me from showing off. On the other hand, he just acted against a member of the group the Furies belong to. He'll have a harder time getting them under control.

    Whatever. I take a replacement daiklave out of subspace while frantically transmuting and x-ionising a series of metal darts just a little smaller than the eye openings of Grayven 50's armour. Then I march towards him. Unstoppable Advance.

    His eyes glow and I grab a console, ripping it from the deck as I pass. The omega beams lance out and I move to interpose-. The beams slalom around to my left before darting back in, and I'm forced to dash forward to avoid being struck by them. They curve back around, but this time I just throw the console at them too quickly for Grayven 50 to redirect. I accelerate as the blast wave passes me.

    "Hm." I Stand Inviolate.

    Grayven 50's eyes glow again and I raise my right arm, forming a coilgun and loading an x-ionised dart. Track, aim for the left eye, fire!

    The red light seeping from his helmet flares slightly just before the dart hits home, but he-

    "Agh!"

    -staggers anyway, his right hand instinctively rising to shield his injured eye and incidentally blocking my shot at his other eye. No matter. Three paces, two paces-

    He drops his hand and one-eye omega beams me, striking me in the chest. "I will strike you down!"

    Aaaaaaaaaaagggghhh! The pain is-. My armour smoulders and my ring flickers, but I can't stop! Grayven 50 takes a step back as I keep coming, his eye glowing-

    "I will make your power mine!" "Your power will become mine!"

    -another coilgun shot forces him to look away! I swing my daiklave across, biting into the right side of his helmet and knocking him off his feet! The helmet has a vicious tear in it where the daiklave hit -not enough, not unless he stops moving entirely, but I'll take it- and he's a little slow in rolling to his feet.

    He gives me a one-eyed glare. Not By Strength,-

    Something.. changes…

    I duck, and the radion beam goes over my head. Who-? I look in the direction it came from and just catch the muzzle of a radion beamer poking through a hush tube. Given how brutal we are there are only so many New Gods who could pull that off-. Kanto.

    -By Guile.

    Orange light leaps out but the gun is withdrawn and the tube closes before it can penetrate. Great, my chest is still burning from the omega beam, my rib bones are.. humming, breathing hurts, and now this arsehole can make attacks of opportunity. And that wasn't a knockoff weapon like the thanagarians were using. The version used by Darkseid's personal assassin probably would punch through my ring-based defences.

    No.

    I swing my daiklave at Grayven 50 but he slams his right hand onto the floor, causing his whole body to leap off the deck and back to his feet.

    How do I persuade Kanto to stop? Convince him that he's wasting his time on a lost cause?

    I maintain two gun constructs, one loaded with darts and the other a cold gun. A freeze shot to Grayven's head probably won't kill him, but it will hurt. Rather than risk him wrecking my backup daiklave I keep it moving, swinging it in his direction. He's forced to assume a boxer's stance, his gauntlets up and ready to block serious shots as he backs up. I step forward a little quicker than he's expecting, blade slicing through his left guard. He retaliates immediately, right fist swinging at the flat of the blade -I pull it back- and then he surges forward, body checking me and pushing my daiklave aside. This close it's useless so I drop it, can't reach the Sword-.

    His right eye glows next to my face as my ring and aero-discs struggle to keep me upright! Can't get the dart gun in place, but the cold gun-! I can't get a decent grip on him but I yank him left as best I can while tilting my head right-!

    The cold beam hits his left eye hole, the beam continuing to pour on as he tries to maintain his focus-.

    "Ruuuuuugh!"

    He loosens his grip, pushing me back as he turns his head away. The omega beam leaps out a moment later, but he targets my construct rather than anything vital. It's destroyed, but now I can bring my hands up. I grab the Sword of the Fallen and swing it at the crack in the side of his helmet-.

    And a blur in black armour punts me across the room!
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  11. Cherico

    Cherico Experienced.

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    you know just killing granny alone is a net good for the entire universe.
     
  12. Belenus

    Belenus Not too sore, are you?

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    That was hard to read. Backwards and upside down? Jeez dude.
     
  13. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    In a fight between Gods, Kryptonians are still worth watching out for.
     
  14. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    *won't

    If she's covering her wound with her left hand, then this means she's doing something with her left leg, or it's supposed to be her right hand at the end.

    Is slalom correct?


    Ooh, is this the first time Grayven has used a coilgun construct? It's similar enough to a railgun, Mandated Paul used coilguns too.
     
  15. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    I'm wary about the fact that we got "Lessons Learned" inverted in God Speech with Granny's death. Best case scenario is that it means she's truly dead since it's an inversion of her god stuff, but...
     
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  16. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Loyal enough that he trusted her, as far as he trusted anyone. She raised the officer caste of his armies, certainly.

    Seriously, the universe is better off without Granny or Grayven-50.

    Heh, block Grayven's line of sight, then secure a 'human' shield.

    I'm assuming the 'So grows-' is from Granny there? Or was that the Renegade?

    Ooh, vicious.

    Niiice. One nasty threat removed with extreme prejudice and maximum trauma. And fascinating bit of godspeech there. Something coming undone in Lashina's mind? Or was that some aspect of the god-role?

    Hell, they may aggro on him hard. No mercy for the slayer of their beloved Granny Goodness, and all that.

    Ah, the feeling when you work out a boss fight's AI patterns. Priceless.

    Not Inviolate for long, jackass.

    Finally, some payback for the eyes!

    I think the Ophidian would have something to say about that.

    Dammit, the New God of Assassins. At least the Renegade's instincts are good enough to prevent a ganking.

    And then your armor and your chest, and you'd not enjoy that at all.

    Grappling it is. Too bad they're so evenly matched.

    Brain Freeze :D

    Dammit, the Super-son cock-blocked the killing blow!

    Still, even with Grayven-50 almost down, the Renegade can rejoice, because the universe is down at least one Evil.

    Godspeech - so many speakers today!
    The latter text says 'lessons learned', by the by.
    Best guess on just who's speaking at any given line...
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2019
  17. Dakkan Sall

    Dakkan Sall Making the rounds.

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    "as the blast wave" I believe.
     
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  18. OrbitL

    OrbitL Derp

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    I still have no idea what it's meant to say.
     
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  19. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    It's Lessons Learned.

    Here's an upside down translator: http://www.upsidedowntext.com/

    Edit: And it's only upside down, not backwards. If it were both, it would look like this: pǝuɹɐǝ˥ suossǝ˥
     
  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You couldn't possibly be stupid enough to try and fuck around with a Father Box after the complete mindfuck that the last one inflected on you...


    Pity she's not actually dead since he stabbed her with the Sword of the Fallen first.
     
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  21. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    Best case scenario, Granny's "teachings" just went snap.

    Probable scenario, some kind of break or even dead woman's switch going 'kill the slayer of Granny'. But which Grayven? Or will any Gravyen do?

    Worst case scenario, Granny had contingencies...
     
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  22. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Not too sore, are you?

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    I hope the baby Kryptonoan can be saved.

    And hey, maybe he will help pull Supes out of his funk.
     
  23. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Might also make him worse.
     
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  24. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Minus a Granny Goodness, beautiful. She deserved worse, but we can take whatever is possible. Gotta admit, I'm pretty lost on who's speaking what in the Godspeech, but it's still pretty interesting; what's really ironic is that Grayven 50's using the Illustres' favorite move, Summon Allies, to make it so difficult for the Renegade.

    Still loving this episode and this fight, though.
     
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  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I think so?
    No, he's done that before. They're just a less important part of his arsenal because he hasn't researched fancy projectiles.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  26. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Know what you're doing yet?

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    Unless it's at least eighteen inches, it shouldn't be called a sword.
     
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  27. Baladar

    Baladar Making the rounds.

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    I’m liking this, but trying to read this arc on a phone is all kinds of obnoxious from the damn hidden text.
     
  28. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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    Yeah.

    Problem is, when New Gods get killed, thry get reborn later unless someone takes their place.

    Hence why Orion must take Darkseid place or Darkseid will just come back.
     
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  29. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    We don't know if that applies in this fic, and it seems like the sort of thing Zoat would avoid.

    EDIT: That said though, considering that Granny's god stuff is all about shaping and guiding others (in a very twisted way) it would be conceptually appropriate if she sets things up specifically so that someone becomes the next Granny.
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yep.
    Fortunately, the Renegade used the Sword of the Fallen, which is specifically designed to deal with that sort of nonsense.
     
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