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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. MadMarx420

    MadMarx420 Getting sticky.

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    And how strong is Diana exactly in this fic?
     
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  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I don't remember saying that.
    As strong as it is narratively useful for her to be, limited by previous established feats.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2020
  3. Ideomancer

    Ideomancer Getting some practice in, huh?

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    I kinda feel like you missed the part where it's already more nuanced than that. Remember how he's already been called out for being wrong on the details of the Pinkie Clone Murder Spree? Or how his antics have directly led to Luna invading his dreams, leading to Luna's self-inflicted psychic scars feeding the anti-life and helping set it free? Or how all of this is very likely driven by the AL influencing his approach to dealing with them in the first place, inspiring him to desperation and cruelty instead of diplomacy? And that he's an easy target for that because he's such a hammy jerk to begin with? Which is a huge part of why he has an AL fragment in the first place?

    No, his behavior isn't endearing for all that it is sometimes hilarious. This isn't the first time Grayven's propensity for hamatics has bitten him in the ass and it probably won't be the last, but his arcs have basically always been more nuanced than people who can't read past his bluster credit. Yes, he often comes out the other side right and righteous, but only because he manages to correct his course, one way or another, before it kills him. In the end he is generally at least less wrong than when he started, but there are a few particular kinds of mistakes he just can't help repeating because they've become baked into his nature because he started on this path by pretending to be a large ham villain. He made that face so often it stuck.

    People don't enjoy Grayven because he's an arrogant jerk, people enjoy Grayven for his sheer dynamism and the fact that he is on every level so much more outwardly energetic than the Paragon. Yes, a certain percentage of that time is inevitably spent watching him sail himself directly into the next catastrophe as hard as possible. Some people even enjoy him for the way he manages to constantly, as he already has in this sequence, to troll both everyone around him and himself.

    The man is a walking petard factory that still manages to get shit done. It's almost like Zoat is channeling the American stereotype version of himself and the contrast with Original Edition is delicious.
     
  4. SebazuD

    SebazuD I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I have to disagree.
    Because even if Grayven does end up in trouble, it doesnt reverse all the shitty way he treats other.

    Like, all those rumours he started, do you think they are gonna magically dissapear?

    That's what makes him unpeasant to watch.
     
  5. Ideomancer

    Ideomancer Getting some practice in, huh?

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    It certainly can be cringe inducing at times, but pretending there are no consequences for him, or that he never acts to follow up on the consequences of his actions, especially where they affect people he in any way cares about is an absurd product of willful disregard for every line of the story that isn't comprised of Grayven making an arse of himself. Which is, in fact, most of them.

    No, the rumours don't just magically disappear. That's part of the point. His actions have consequences. Very rarely do such things occur in a vacuum. The consequences of someone's actions and attitudes rarely only ever affect just that one person. Work will need to be done to set things even close to right, and the harm will always have been done, and people who could have been his friends and allies are already straining under his presence. This will have consequences for him dealing with Equestria going forward, and may even result in him becoming cut off entirely whether he likes it or not, among other issues. People make mistakes. Paragon makes mistakes too. Sometimes their mistakes affect people far, far out of scope of their intentions.

    What do you actually want? For him to change into a completely different character who never makes the kinds of mistakes we know he's prone to making? Who makes different mistakes that never involve making personal attacks on others? Who just plain doesn't affect the world around him for fear of hurting people?

    Yes. It can be unpleasant to watch. Sometimes people are unpleasant. If he weren't, he would be a shallower character than he is now, and less interesting to read about. This is the land of fan fiction... what would you replace his unpleasantness with?
     
  6. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Most assholes never do. That's why they are assholes.

    As someone who doesn't like Grayven, and indeed hasn't even been reading this arc, why would you expect it to?
     
  7. MadMarx420

    MadMarx420 Getting sticky.

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    Wondering if Alan’s blue power ring can create constructs or is it limited like other blue rings you’d see in post crisis etc
     
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  8. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    No, Alan's ring is not artificially nerfed. It's damaged, but it hasn't lost any functions as a result of the green-to-blue conversion.
     
  9. SebazuD

    SebazuD I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Remember when Sunset got hit, in EG, by the the elements(kinda)?
    And it gave her perspective of what a bitch she had been?

    That's what I was hoping for.
     
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  10. topin89

    topin89 Virgin Centrist

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    If you're on Win 10, there's a faster way.
    1. Win+Shift+S to select part of a screen. Options for arbitrary, window and fullscreen selections also there. If no cropping needed, skip to the last.
    2. "Snip saved to clipboard" Notification should appear in about 2 seconds. If no edit is needed, just skip to the last.
    3. Click on notification, "Screen sketch" window should appear. Do some changes and copy again.
    4. Open imgbb.com and just Ctrl+V then download.

    It's surprising how many sites today accept images from the clipboard. Or messengers, for that matter.
     
  11. Belenus

    Belenus Not too sore, are you?

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    OL went and got a Blue Ring made for Alan by one of the Weaponers of Qward with a full database and AI assist and neither Paul not the Weaponer would have been willing to nerf the construct creation. It's brand new, and thanks to Alan's state as a partial Will elemental, a bit OP compared to the normal Greenies.
     
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  12. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    I thought he got a blue lantern made and recharging his ring off of it changed its alignment. Am I remembering wrong?
     
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  13. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Making the rounds.

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    The SI had Orange Lantern Weaponeer Kalmin build a Blue Lantern for Alan.

    The Lantern fixed, upgraded, and then turned Alan's drained Green Power Ring to a Blue Power Ring.

    Ninja'd by Coda:
    No, you are correct.
     
  14. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I don't even know what a Sunset (minus the real thing clearly) an EG, or the "elements" are. So how in the world could I remember it?

    But we've been over this about a million times on three forums with both Para-Paul and Rene-Paul. Zoat is not operating on Saturday morning cartoon "what I learned today" morals.

    Grayven is an "asshole" to certain characters because he legitimately enjoys doing so. Both he and OL tend to believe they are right, because they are surrounded by comic book characters trapped in status quo stasis. Considering both of them have moved the human race farther in their time on their respective Earth 16's than either the heroes or the villains have....why would they change? Their methods CONSTANTLY get them the results they want.

    This is to say nothing of the fundamental basis of who they are.

    OL is basically the Ophidians avatar. With a soul comprised of her heart, and a very specific mindset he drilled into himself even before he became a humanoid part of the Orange itself.

    Grayven has been soaking up orange and yellow light, used a Father box to Darkseid himself up a soul, and "awoke" to a certain type of godhood.

    Whatever you're hoping for, I don't know why you've been hoping it.

    Batman's a paranoid, rude, rich boy asshole control freak who drives away all his allies and loved ones, even as he formulates plans to crush them all, who never changes his ways even as it costs him everything and leaves him broken and bitter. Yet all I hear is how awesome he is.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2020
  15. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    It's no longer damaged and it has AI support so he isn't limited in anyway, arguably he has more freedom than green ring users.

    Kalmin designed the blue lantern to repair the ring and continue the leaking of glow energy (now on purpose) to continue Alan ascend to incarnated elemental.
     
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  16. Darko

    Darko I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The fact they have been so good at what they do, paragon getting villains to do better things with their talents and renegade destroying criminal organizations, especially in comparison to other superheroes would make them hesitate to change and potentially adopt what they could see at best as being pointless behaviors and at worst actively harmful ones.

    Getting the power of gods flowing through them can also count on why they may have changed so much.
    OL being basically inhuman in certain times and renegade potentially being an asshole because his domain of conquest may have somehow, if not at least made him one, reinforced his assholery like how having the heart of the Ophidian changed OL.
     
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  17. RagnarokAscendant

    RagnarokAscendant Came Here for WTR

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    You know, I preferred Grayven to Paragon, but I wasn't able to figure out why. I think you just did.
     
  18. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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    Zoat confirmed as a Pinkie Pie fan.
     
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  19. Belenus

    Belenus Not too sore, are you?

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    Yeah, you're right, I totally derped that up. Alan's still OP as heck, best Space Grandpa, plz no nerf.
     
  20. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Not too sore, are you?

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    Which shows he is a man of culture and taste as the only pony better than Pinkie is Derpy.
     
  21. JosephDye

    JosephDye Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    HI! I've been off the bandwagon for a few years? Is there any up to date epubs of the story? Thank you in advanced!
     
    Belenus likes this.
  22. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Versed in the lewd.

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  23. Threadmarks: Equestrian Girls (part 16)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    A race of virtue
    against monstrosity


    I dismissed the dream-image of my bipedal form so that my newly-palliated succupire children can cuddle up to my pony form instead. Oh, this was a good day.

    "We do not understand. You put these.. young creatures in cages, and they embrace you."

    "They're hybrids of two predatory species. The first subsists purely on human blood. The second feeds.. in a variety of ways, but mostly on the souls of their victims. These children were trapped on an island with nothing to feed on but each other." Luna looks increasingly perturbed. "Whenever one started puberty their starving younger siblings would devour them. I recovered the survivors and put them in cages so that they wouldn't be driven to either eat each other or anyone else. I left them in there until I learned enough about how they worked to create a potion to suppress their instincts, and then I enabled-"

    There's a flash of purple as I gain a purple jewel from whatever mad process regulates Equestrian harmony magic.

    "-them to live as normal children."

    I press my muzzle into dream-Bethany's hair and snort, eliciting a dream-laugh. Then I stand, their images fading away.

    "Why?"

    "What do you mean, 'why'? Because I could. Because I had the resources. Because things like that shouldn't happen to anyone and I could fix it. As much as it could be fixed. Okay, loyalty next."

    What's the best example of loyalty..? Actually, when.. have I acted against my own interests due to a freely accepted obligation? I generally try to arrange things so that I don't encounter that sort of conflict. Giving Talia to Batman? No, that was more because I didn't want to start a fight with him…

    Ah.

    I march down the corridor with Luna on my tail -metaphorically- and step out through the door into the gazebo of the Alan Scott Memorial Garden. As it will be once all of the plants have reached full size.

    Luna spots the main statue even as I allow my memories of the visitors to cause the phantasms of playing children and sombre mourners to flicker in and out of being.

    "Who was he?"

    "One of my instructors. Good man, but… We didn't have much in common, and he was very old when we first met. I tried to secure the materials he needed to extend his life further, but regrettably I was a little late in returning. And to do that-"

    A red jewel appears on my barding.

    "-I had to confront the one who gave me the Anti-Life fragment."

    "And defeat him?"

    "And ask nicely."

    I look back and the statue has changed to one of Darkseid.

    "Darkseid. The Apokoliptian New God of Tyranny. He terrifies me." I concentrate and Alan's statue returns. "Kindness, laughter, generosity and loyalty."

    "Honesty is next."



    Yes, it… Is, isn't it?

    "How about you take a turn?"

    "You have but two to go. You can-."

    "And you've got six to go and I don't need your help to be honest!"

    "It's true! He doesn't! He said so-"

    A mauve mare with cauliflower ears prances through the ghost-crowd, a snake-tongue flicking between her lips.

    "-himself, so it must be true!"

    I brace for an attack, while Luna merely blinks and then nods.

    "We suppose that it is not in his interests to lie."

    I reach up with my right forehoof and shove her in the left shoulder.

    "Luna, I was obviously lying. I don't know what these things are, but they're affecting the way you think."

    She shudders for a moment, focusing her mind and incidentally picking up her green sigil at the same time.

    "We demand that you tell Us who you are!"

    "Yelling Fool!"

    Hah!

    Luna scowls. "You will regret insulting Us, oh baleful fragment of malediction!"

    "I will?! Okay!"

    "No, Luna, I think that's her name. And she's a distraction."

    "I thought I was a pony! Can I be both?!"

    "Luna, pick-."

    The ground -and Yelling Fool- drops away and the gazebo morphs into a chariot. Day turns to night as we descend through the sky and land in Ponyville.

    "Nightmare Night." Fragments of the events of that evening flash before our eyes. "The first day 'pon which We dared to believe that We might one day walk amongst Our subjects without engendering fear or contempt. Except intentionally."

    There's a brief blue flash on her peytral as the blue sigil appears, and we watch her phantasmal self getting seen off by the Ponyville crowd.

    "This leaves love, compassion, avarice and hatred, doth it not?"

    "Hate and anger." I frown. "Do these Anti-Life inspired pony phantasms mean anything to you, or are they just trying to get you to reject the Elements?"

    "We are uncertain. But We doubt that it changes Our approach." She flicks her mane and flaps her wings, rising into the air and flying towards… Whitetail Woods. The non-monster-infested woodland abutting Ponyville. "We will attempt love next."

    I flap after her. "I've got plans tomorrow evening, but after-."

    "Thy tiresome lechery amuses Us not."

    "Not even a little? I got my laughter badge."

    "For laughing at a child when he resisted your threats."

    "No, that wasn't it. I put a fair bit of effort into acquiring those weapons, took some risks… And I didn't get them because of something I didn't even take into consideration. The joke was on me."

    She glances back over her shoulder for a moment before coming in to land. A small clearing and a small… Fort? Fortified house? I see a grey unicorn with a blue cloak and pointed wizard-hat. Both are decorated with stars and bells. Starswirl the Bearded, then.

    "And why would you lie?"

    "To encourage you to see things a particular way. To see me in a particular way. But in this case it's actually true. Heck, you can ask Richard about it once-"

    The Starswirl phantasm glances back at the door as two fillies… Oh, that's what they looked like when they were younger. Young Celestia and Luna trot out and nuzzle him before dashing off into the woods. There's a small violet flare as Luna gets the violet sigil.

    "-we're.. done here. Starswirl?"

    "We were being taught how to use the strongest magics in ponydom, that we might fight and overcome Discord, and secure this land for all harmony-loving creatures. It was needful, but he was not blind to the fact that we were boisterous fillies. We felt much love in this house."

    She shakes her head.

    "Now, compassion."
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2020
  24. Idkusername

    Idkusername Know what you're doing yet?

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    Honestly, at this point I have no idea what’s going on but I’m enjoying myself all the same.
     
  25. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    She's collecting all the rings, to become Captain Planet.
     
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  26. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Man, imagine if he brought the kiddies here. The girls would be in heaven!

    It sounds terrible, but it really was for their own good.

    Taking a moment to strengthen himself with Love, eh?

    Because whatever his motivation, he wants to fix things, make them better for everyone.

    Bit hard for the New God of 'Conquest' to be loyal to anything but himself, isn't it? Loyalty to his vassals isn't the same as suborning himself to something greater... But...

    Good to see he hasn't abandoned Alan's memory, despite his failure to save him.

    ...Loyalty does come in more forms than simple vassalhood, after all.

    No, not in His place of power, with an entire world willing to die for Him.

    And a good way for Luna to see the danger of Darkseid for herself. I wonder what she thinks of him? Some strange Troll or Ogre, seeking power for its own sake?

    Ah, the big sticking point. Friendship shouldn't be too hard for him.

    Well, maybe he needs a break.

    Oh, gods. It's a Monty Python reference.

    And it's an Anti-Life vector too? Insidious!

    Glad someone's keeping their head. Presumably the magic of the Tantabus makes it easier for her to be affected.

    I have no doubt that's a completely suitable name for some jester or jackanapes.

    Boy, it's happy to agree with anything, isn't it?

    Seriously, did Pinkie Pie sneak in here somehow?

    And an event that turned out well for her, in the end.

    Which would weaken her severely, I suppose.

    Seriously, Grayven, I don't think she's interested. Besides, I doubt it would work out. Just the physical logistics of it, really!

    And made it look easy, too.

    Makes a lot of sense, really.

    Hmm... Would Robin become a Pegasus or an Earth Pony? A Unicorn for his brains, maybe?

    I'm sure they were adorable little bundles of lankiness.

    That might be difficult, depending on her mood... How does she see her subject, after all?

    And the Vision quests continue apace. While the Tantaquation slowly pursues, throwing obstacles at them. This really does feel a bit like an episode of the show, doesn't it?
     
  27. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    I think the most honest thing Grayven has done was when he threw the anti-life into the source wall and said "I am paul."
     
  28. Istaran

    Istaran Getting sticky.

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    A bit like the pilot in particular.
     
  29. TheEyes

    TheEyes Versed in the lewd.

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    Hm, now there's an interesting thought: this whole episode is taking place inside Grayven's head. What would happen if he tried to say his full name right now?
     
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  30. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Not too sore, are you?

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    It feels like this is going way too fast. I mean, Grayven, yes, he has experience with this sort of thing, also meta-knowledge of the show.

    But Luna? Her entire background is trouble with negative emotions and here she is, glomping the rainbow in record time.

    On the other hand, they are still in dreamspace, which probably makes it easier. Still...
     
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