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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    I like the guy already.
     
  2. Ph34r_n0_3V1L

    Ph34r_n0_3V1L The Best Monkey

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    From my reading of it, Karmang played the peacemaker until he maneuvered the entire Red leadership into one place, then suckered them into a mental-communion while he started casting H'ronmeer's Curse, which turns on the Burning Martian matter disruption aura without stabilizing it. This causes everyone affected to burst into unquenchable flames as their own powers burn them to nothingness.

    Edit: ninja'ed
     
  3. nick012000

    nick012000 Versed in the lewd.

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    Welp, I guess it's time for Grayven to remove the Guardian programming from them if they haven't had it done already, then get Mgann to give them a telepathic crash course in how to control the Burning.
     
  4. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Father still holds court, despite that being an institution introduced by Queen Heggra, who was...
    (According to Google and the Wiki-sphere...)

    At least it, presumably, isn't met with demands for bank-breaking wardrobes by noblewomen, like most medieval cultures would have. Less fabric involved, for a start... :D

    J'emm now sits there, while the seat that was his as the ruler of his city is occupied by S'yrra.

    Typical. Any threat to their position and it's all scowls.

    ...and a great many Whites who want their status improved and don't want to constantly...
    (the 'by' appears to have been leftover from a previous version of the sentence?)

    Not sure of this phrasing. Googling it shows it's a real usage, but it might be confusing to less well-read guests. Perhaps "It's in my power to give." would scan better?

    Karmang grows an extra pair of arms and makes a few gestures.

    And the penny drops...

    ...Welp...

    Hidden link here, folks!

    ...my blood flowing freely as I grab his head and squeeze!

    I try freeing my left arm, and lose all feeling in it as the blades slice me to the bone!
    Oh, Come ON! </Rainbow Dash> Seriously, This is going to blow the bloody doors off all of M'arzz. Reds are going to scream "We can't trust the White SCUM!" White radicals will rise up en masse and everyone else will get caught in the fallout.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
  5. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Sadly, that probably won't prevent the race war from escalating. Of course, neither will not bothering to save them.
     
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I like to think that I don't talk down to my readers. Unless they really deserve it.
    Have you any idea what tassels retail for on Tamaran?
     
  7. Stsword

    Stsword Not too sore, are you?

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    Well things escalated nicely there.

    I wonder if that means we'll get to see lovecraftian Voltrun Martian gestalts.

    Because that's a thing they can do in the comics. Here's a picture of some Saturnians, who have the same powers as Martians, forming a gestalt.

    [​IMG]


    "You two form the arms, you two the legs, and faces for everybody!"
     
  8. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    It likely depends on the material and manufacturing, so it's probably something insane for the mass and volume involved.
     
  9. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Sorry, your accent confused me for a moment there. Where I'm from, we write that as Voltron.
    Especially when you remember that their transport links and farmlands are only just getting back into full operation.
     
  10. Phrexia Unbound

    Phrexia Unbound Oooh...that's good.

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    Absolutely majestic.

    Personally I could see the Gestalts being more like Getter Robo.
     
  11. SirKaid

    SirKaid Getting sticky.

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    I'm torn. On the one hand I'm really impressed with this gambit and how successful it was. On the other I'm sort of appalled at how Karmang went and murdered a bunch of people in the middle of a goddamn peace conference Then again, if he's certain that the racist ruling class would never agree to liberalization...
     
  12. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    They aren't dead yet, and Grayven might be able to save some of them. I suspect that he'll prioritize J'Emm, as he knows him and seems to like him a little.
     
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  13. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Judging by the memories he’s showing, I don’t think he actually cares and just wants revenge.
     
  14. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Wouldn’t turning into burning Martians like M’gann fix this? It’s sort of giving Karmang what he wants, but not really... Fairly sure they could remove Guardian programming then add it back on later if they wanted to.
     
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  15. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    That's been suggested, and I think that's how he'll save them, or save some of them. It does rather depend on how fast he can do it.
     
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  16. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Well... aren’t they fireproof and only mentally affected by fire? Technically giving him as much time as he needs? Most of them can probably just face-tank it.
     
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  17. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Uncertain. Karmang described what he did as "Turning the matter disruption aura on without stabilising it." That may mean that it is killing them, and that's the assumption a lot of us are making.
     
  18. Stsword

    Stsword Not too sore, are you?

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    In this story Burning Martians aren't actually pyrokinetic but rather pull comic book physics bullshit that looks like fire. I remember that being established back when Paul and the Team pulled an Alien moment underwater in the Guardian ship with Burny.

    Also according to word of Greg Martian durability is from armoring themselves through density manipulation. "They can use the density shifting to increase their density to be more durable(near-invulnerable). But not to have more strength. They can increase their strength by focusing their telekinesis in their body similar to Tactile Telekinesis."

    Although I'd imagine the practical differences are that it's a learned skill, and if you catch a YJ Martian by surprise you could theoretically catch them unarmored.

    Although since all YJ shows is Megan surviving explosions, energy blasts, and physical attacks, I can hardly blame someone for being surprised at that news.

    Or at least I can't recall Megan ever proclaiming that her density shifting saved her.
     
  19. Old Knife

    Old Knife Getting sticky.

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    Karmang's a jerk. Seriously. WTF?
    It's like he's trying to get the Guardians to come back with a beatdown.
     
  20. Vinom

    Vinom Getting sticky.

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    Welp, Calling it now, Grayven manages to save J'emm and maybe a few others. After that. He, J'emm, and M'gann, along with the moderate whites, what man hunters can be rallied by J'onn's friend, and a shit tonne of orange lanterns come in and do a full House of Orange government reboot on Mars.
     
  21. Silveraith

    Silveraith Argent Phantasm

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    Still not fixed Mr Zoat.
     
  22. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  23. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

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    The dash already serves the function of the comma, so you can remove the comma.
     
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  24. Umbrella_merc

    Umbrella_merc Getting out there.

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    Basically the equivalent of Jesus returning to the UN and magically setting everyone on fire.
     
  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I've been using them to indicate an aside rather than a pause.
     
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  26. Azure Mirage

    Azure Mirage Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    That is a pretty accurate description for comparison's sake. But I think Karmang is more Burning Martian than anything else. And we readers know how they loved to resolve things within this story.

    My guess is the whole situation resolves with the Hyper Clan being hunted down after Karmang bites it after being attacked by ALL other sides. Karmang gets the unification he wants, but gets sacrificed in the process.

    No matter how powerful he (Karmang) is, Graven has access to far more magical resources and the people of Mars will not take kindly to him trying to establish a new system through violence when they were attempting to negotiate at a friggin peace conference.

    Shows you cannot trust someone like that to keep their word at all, which will unite everyone against Karmang. Which actually might be the point, he could be nearing the end of his long magical life and is faking being well. Or he removed his Guardian programming and is losing his mind slowly and knows it and wants to steer things in a better direction.
     
  27. Nervaqus987

    Nervaqus987 Versed in the lewd.

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    In addition to what else was said on the matter, the thing that tipped off Grayven is the use of the name H'ronmeer.

    In the comics, pretty much all of the Martian species is dead due to a psychic plague called H'ronmeer's Curse, that was originally created by J'onn's brother Ma'alefa'ak.
     
  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Problem is, not only would people like B'enn B'lanx flat out approve of Karmang's actions (though he might be peeved about being left out of the loop) the simple fact that Karmang is the one who did it lends it legitimacy in some quarters.
     
  29. topin89

    topin89 Virgin Centrist

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    It does not mean "It's my gift to you, no conditions and obligations"? Oh well, good thing I've read comments. This high speech figures always not what I thought it is, the biggest offender so far is thinking "Have at you!" is some strange Castlevania mistranslation. Thanks, Chojin Patriarch!

    Just non-native speaker thingie, I suppose. I hope must people either knew what it means or were confused enough to actually google.
     
    Chojin Patriarch likes this.
  30. PDV

    PDV ?

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    I'm a native speaker and Googled it and I'm still not sure what it means.
     
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