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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Know what you're doing yet?

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    moral -> mortal (I think)

    Mr Zoat, that's twice in a row that you've made me care about a fandom that I only had the faintest knowledge of. I want more of this Paul, please. And more ponies too!
     
  2. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Not too sore, are you?

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    I think the beginning should be 'A thought,'.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

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    Does Paul want to marry her?

    Is he trying to get her to marry someone else?

    When renegade talked to Komandr he said that he finds arranged marriages a weakness and paragon may have a similar mindset seeing as what he did with Kori and her fiance.

    So if he wants to marry her i guess he has a necrophilia thing going on...

    Are you sure he hasn't been corrupted by Chaos?
    Or like the diffrence between paragon and renegade was this Paul a necrophiliac before he came to this universe?
     
  4. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Ah, you got Paol onto his favourite thing: Exposition!

    Hoo, boy. He's planning big, isn't he? Necessary to curb the powers of Chaos, but very difficult to keep everyone on track. I would expect him to be very busy running around getting all his ducks in a line for the next decade or two...

    To them it'd be like mixing fire and oil... They don't know about anti-matter, after all.

    Ah, the obnoxious old advisor who declares everything he's never seen before impossible. A classic archetype.

    Heh, now, how to explain the Emotional Spectrum to a pre-industrial culture...

    I'm picturing the older-style versions, the ugly ones with giant crab-hands, rather than the newer Diaz-style ho-bags with elongated snippers... Uuuugly.

    Using desire against Avarice. I knew Daemons were stupid, but wow.

    He's probably too shocked to do even that. If he had an eyebrow, it would be touching his hairline.

    So, his knowledge is fourth edition, but the world is closer to sixth or seventh.

    Try not to be snarky, Paol. This is not the time.

    Well, that's an effective demonstration...

    So what are steps two through ten?

    No, that's why he's coming to you and the other elder races, hat in hand.

    I suspect they didn't understand that last part, if your ring shut off from the Hope overflow, but I think the tone might have conveyed it. Hopefully translation doesn't require any focus...

    Even the good ones?

    No mention of the Strigoi? I know, after your time. And they're easily mistaken for necromancers...

    Yeah, that's going to piss off quite a few nobles. And he's going to have to hit up Tilea and Araby as well for that.

    I don't picture this ending well. And it might mean having to find the Avarice to restore an entire kingdom's worth of Khemrians...

    Worst case, they get a zombie. Best case, it works. But honestly, the Khemrians are better in eternal bone right now. Easier to restore with magic.

    Fingers crossed.

    No mention of his mortal companions' horrified reactions? Seeing a human body from the inside out is not pretty.

    Oh, ho, she wants this to succeed.

    And so does he. This could be a game-changer for the people of Khemri. It might well get other Tomb Kings on his side.

    Oh, my. She is impressed. I think he passed his diplomacy check, regardless of roll...

    ...What... Oh, I seriously hope he isn't referring to himself as a candidate...

    I almost want to see what happens next, if only to find out what he meant. And don't think we didn't see that 40k snippet ahead.
    But tomorrow, we return to the ponies! And hopefully some damn fine kitty titties.

    "Your reverence, there is no deceit here.
    "Satisfied, your reverence?"
     
  5. WaleXdraK

    WaleXdraK Getting sticky.

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    I don’t know what you find weird about this situation, he just want to bone a skeleton and that pretty normal in my book.
     
  6. dogbertcarroll

    dogbertcarroll Random lurker

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    Skeletons come pre-boned.
     
  7. lancelot

    lancelot Grand High Poobah

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    I'd prefer this as well,or instead of human paul. New god paul doesn't use the Ring Scott died to give him NEARLY enough, to the point it feels disrespectful.
     
  8. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Not too sore, are you?

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    I hope the handmaiden remembers that she needs to eat and do all the other stuff to keep her new flesh healthy.
     
  9. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Classic Schmosby.

    It must be pretty obvious by now that his powers stem from the ring. Is no one going to ask where it came from?

    Also, how is it powered again? Because if it uses raw desire from magic than it would look like a Slaneesh artifact to them, no? Pretty suspicious, especially given his usual "rational genie" routine.
     
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  10. lancelot

    lancelot Grand High Poobah

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    Zoat you forgot the bones are still dead, and you don't say anything about regenerating them, so they start to produce Bone Marrow again, and there was two other things they did that we need the bones 'alive'.
     
  11. Redhawk

    Redhawk Getting out there.

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    Hot damn this boy moves fast!
     
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  12. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    I mean, you can try building that network, but the second you start spamming such things out, is the second the Chaos Gods unleash a Million full on warriors of chaos. And not the dinky tabletop ones, the full on magical armour wearing superhumans.
     
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  13. Oglymogly

    Oglymogly Not too sore, are you?

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    I really wasnt sure if going to the Tomb Kings was a good idea, but he might yet pull it off. Most of them wouldn't work out in a long term alliance, most Kings are too ambitious and power hungry. However, if he can use Khalida as a moderating influence on Settra, as well as restoring the mortality of the people (and nomming Negash for the immortality potion knowledge), he might have a legitimate ally long term, as well as the setup for a true endgame win.

    I really enjoyed this segment, and would love to revisit it later. But I definitely wouldnt want to have it replace the Paragon and Renegade. This was a MAJOR milestone for Paol, but it seems like a lot of his previous storyline was fairly repetitive and political. 'Meet this ruler, convince them of his power via sidequest, use greed and hope to get them to agree with his vision, then repeat.'

    I'm not sure how much he's been truly challenged thus far, with a good chunk of WFB being outclassed by a fully charged power ring. He is playing it smart, gaining protections for his weaknesses, taking on the enemies who rely on numbers over power, and building allies and knowledge for the midgame. But.... smart and mostly unchallenged isnt very interesting to read in a daily update format. That's why DC works so well as the setting of this story, it has a lot of challenges for a lantern on a martial level, not to mention his political and social issues.

    Heck, that's people's issue with the Paragon right now. He's gotten good enough that he is on the Superman level, where he is powerful enough to ignore most enemies efforts. So Paul is working on building and gathering (and improving) allies for the late game challenges. Give it time guys, Mr Zoat has this planned out and is pacing it well, just give him time.
     
  14. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    So... did Marvel Oh El had to deal with Marvel Zombies? Those are really really nasty. As in Resident Evil movies nasty.
     
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  15. edmantgoog

    edmantgoog Not too sore, are you?

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    Ok goat changing your name to Kirk
     
  16. masterofmadness

    masterofmadness Know what you're doing yet?

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    I know this is probably not referring to himself as the candidate but given this is Paul I don't doubt he might make her interested anyway. He is capable of restoring her flesh to a descent degree and it was said of Khalida 'Her intelligence, temper and bravery were as legendary as her beauty, as was her intense sense of honour and justice' sounds like a wonderful woman to be with as any I can imagine. I could easily see this planting the seed of a relationship in Khalida's mind as she gets to knows Paul better and finds his better qualities like a sense of justice admirable and attractive.

    Plus it sets up the incredible chance to tell Neferata that he finds Khalida more beautiful than her and kick her ass together as a couple.
     
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  17. Korfayron

    Korfayron Making the rounds.

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    I agree with you but having WHF highlights would be awesome him having the moments of struggling and finding it hard to relate to these fantasy peasants and their 'champions' for instance I would be very interested in how he became besties with Louencour's son.
     
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  18. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Know what you're doing yet?

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    Who's ready for a bone-rattlin good time?

    //Bone-Diggidy!
     
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  19. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

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    BECOME THE BONE DADDY POUL, MAKE THE NOT NECRONS PROUD. the before necrons. the ecrons? i don't remember.
     
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  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Battlefleet Gothic is hilariously out of date.

    Also it doesn't talk about Terra's defenses, that comes from something else entirely, where we actually see them instantly vaporize a Necron Tombship that appeared in orbit.

    Light speed weapons controlled by Machine Spirits give no fuck about the targets size.

    And again you are hilariously out of date, since then they have released both a Cult Mechanicus Codex and a Adeptus Mechanicus Codex.
     
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  21. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    not to sound marrow-minded,but ive got a bone to pick with you- i dont find that line very Humerus!
     
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  22. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Polygamy and polyamore are perfectly normal in Nehekharan culture, so they could have a political marriage without in impeding either of thier lives all that much. That said, they could b e good friends and she's not unattractive when fully fleshed out.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Not... Exactly. There are reasons why members of the Light College all dress like ancient egyptian nobles.
    To be fair, he's a millennia-old animated skeleton. It's truer in his case than in many others.
    Hey! I know 5th. A bit. That was where they messed up the Norse to make them all Chaos all the time.
    No, that was a genuine enquiry. 'Have I satisfied you or do you want more evidence?' not 'Have I satisfied you or are you a moron?'
    You think a Dark Elf would be bothered by a dismantled human body? You think someone who survived a Marienburg public school would be?
    Not in the short term. And pony mammaries are less impressive.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2020
  23. nick012000

    nick012000 Experienced.

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    Still canon and a reflection of the truth of space combat in the setting.

    "Instantly" in this case would be "within an hour, because that's how long it takes for ships to maneuver and target their capital weapons in 40k". Also, said Necron tombship would be multiple kilometers long, compared to Zoat being under 2m.

    Machine spirits are inaccurate as fuck. They're worse than biological humans are at aiming guns. Witness the performance of Land Raiders and their machine-spirit rules in older editions (5+ to hit vs 3+ to hit for elite human troops), or the performance of Cognis weapons in 8th Edition (allowing them to fire with a -2 penalty after advancing). More to the point, however, is the fact that in BFG, lances can't shoot at things like fighters or torpedoes - and even when they're shooting at multi-kilometer ships, there's a decent chance they'll miss.

    And nothing in them contradicts them, IIRC. Warp-tech (aside from patterns inherited from the DAoT) is the domain of the Dark Mechanicus or heretical sub-sects of the Mechanicus as a whole - building something like, say, a sword that channels warp energy into the people it hits is tech-heresy.

    Or they figure out that his Ring is tech rather than magic, and send in the Chaos Space Marines or Dark Mechanicus to deal with Paul while their mortal followers deal with the natives.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2020
  24. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Would that be true if only the lore up to the mid nineties (whatever edition) was Canon?

    Zoat only writes what he knows and what he finds interesting and easy to grasp from a quick wiki walk through, thus is fairly likely a lot of later Canon wouldn't count for anything in the same way new DC stuff doesn't matter a single iota.
     
  25. nick012000

    nick012000 Experienced.

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    Early canon had the Old World as a world in the 40k galaxy, where the Chaos Gods had a galaxy full of heretics to draw upon. Modern canon has it as being located in an alternate universe but connected through the Warp/Realm of Chaos.
     
  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They first met when Mallobaude was a Questing Knight. He was trying to chase down the Dark Elves raiding the coast and came upon the SI having already done so. Seeing unrighteous devilry he challenged the SI, who first tried to talk him down and then defeated him as gently as he could. Their next meeting was some time later, after he completed his Grail Quest and was depressed at finding the whole thing to be a charade. The SI gave him an impassioned lecture on virtue ethics and secular humanism and he grabbed onto it like a drowning man to a lifeline.
    The one thing I like about the End Times is that the Chaos Gods don't really care about the Warhammer setting. It's one planet. They've got billions of others.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2020
  27. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Well, you've managed to make me care (a little) about the WHFB setting. Congrats!

    'Healing' a skeleton up to a living body is really, really, impressive... Depending on how necromatically mangled the soul/spirit associated with the skeleton is then might even start imprinting stuff onto the brain... Toilet training, and eating food, drinking, would probably be a good thing to make early priorities... Unfortunately, those are mostly physical reflex level stuff, and 'higher' mental things, like dreams and memories are probably more likely, without external influence...
     
  28. Sorrow

    Sorrow Making the rounds.

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    Should this not be followed?
     
  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  30. LiamOfOrmonde

    LiamOfOrmonde Making the rounds.

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    Correct me if I’m wrong, but Marienburg is the ‘Dutch City State’ expy right? What’s wrong with Dutch schools?
     
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