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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Sounds remarkably like a group of teenage monsters, that are difficult to empathise with, or care much about... A major part of (most of the) Teen Titans was that they were non-human, potentially monstrous, but they fought to maintain their humanity. Raven being a primary example, ahead of Cyborg and Beast Boy. This group sounds as though they pretty well fail that logic... Of course, I'd be prepared to be proved completely wrong. :)
     
  2. Threadmarks: Repetition (part 8)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    4th January 2005
    11:44 GMT +9


    "Throw kni-"

    Two knives klink off-. Embed themselves in my construct shield.

    "-ves. Jump onto the wall to close-"

    Jade 32 jumps and then scrambles up the wall.

    "-the distance, then lunge."

    She stops moving, staring at me.

    I smile. "It's an interesting question, how much of our actions are the result of anything we might call 'free will'. You know metahumans with strange powers exist and while you think that everything you just did was of your own volition… Suddenly you're not sure."

    She climbs up the rest of the way and then stands on the edge of the roof, facing me.

    "Of course, if I can influence you, the most intelligent thing you can do is leave as quickly as possible. But since you're not going to do that, how about a commission?"

    Her mask tilts thirty degrees anticlockwise.

    "I have reason to believe that an evil god is abducting parallel universe versions of the two of us in order to pull apart the multiverse. I want to hire you to help stop him."

    She extends her right hand from her voluminous sleeve and rubs the tips of her thumb and forefinger together.

    I take a bag of gold coins precisely equal in value to what I paid my Jade for her help with Nabu out of subspace and toss it to Jade Junior. She catches it in her left sleeve… Somehow opens it and picks out a coin, scratching it enough to reveal the softness of the metal. Then she returns the coin to the pouch, draws it into her kimono for safekeeping and nods to me.

    I step forward and extend my right hand. She steps forward and-. Taps the sharp surface of her knuckle claws against my palm, making pointed eye to mask eye contact.

    "I'm sorry, but compared to an evil god, a girl with knives just isn't that scary."

    She jingles.

    "Because it was less trouble than using force."

    She nods, and actually takes my hand.

    "The version of you from my parallel is a lot more talkative." But you're enough like her that I can still transition-

    3rd January 2005
    21:46 GMT -5


    -us back-.

    I skip us backwards as a… The local version of Victor Stone appears to have.. merged with a transformed version of his APC and is recovering from being hit by a hulking green alien with a red power ring. He rebounds, wheels screeching against the tarmac as he evades the Red Lantern's punch, then deploys a mechanical shield to block its acid vomit attack.

    "Oh, I thought-"

    Jade steps into space, claws at the ready, as my alter ego emerges from his home in armour reminiscent of my… Third suit of armour? The last field non-power armour I bothered with.

    "-he'd have finished by now."

    A green-. Beastboy, turns into a roc and claws at the Red Lantern's face. Moving with surprising agility the alien grabs his left leg and slams him into a wall, stunning him.

    "How berserk are the local Red Lanterns?"

    He raises his left eyebrow for a moment, then raises his ring so that I can see it clearly.

    "Other than you."

    The local Koriand'r dives at the Red Lantern, hitting him? It? In the chest with both fists and driving it back for long enough for the cyborg-transformer to get enough time to charge some sort of energy cannon. A beam of scintillating blue-white energy leaps forth, completely missing the alien as he steps aside and punching through a nearby building.

    "Um. Should we-?"

    "No, they're nearly done. Despite appearances, Abysmus has a keen, tactical mind."

    "Azarath metrion zinthos!"

    Raven tries to hit him with a levitated chunk of wall, only for it to be met with a gout of red light before she can get any momentum behind it. Not only does the brick melt, but the spell holding it as well, a wave of distortion passing along it until-.

    "rRRRAAAAGH!"

    She bellows in rage, spasming in the air and.. gaining an extra set of red glowing eyes-.

    "Friend Raven!"

    Raven turns to focus on the local Koriand'r, black light boiling around her fists-

    "KAR EN TUK!"

    -and resolving into claws as she flings herself at her friend!

    "Oh, Infectious Rage is hard to inflict through someone else's magic."

    Koriand'r dodges the first two wild swings, but she's backed up against a wall with black claws biting into the brick at either side! She freezes for a moment, gasping in shock as Raven opens her mouth to vomit forth black fire! Koriand'r bends, grabbing the two claws and pushing downwards to slide out from between them a moment before the flames melt the brick!

    "They're.. children."

    "If Abysmus wanted to kill them then they'd be dead. But he does-"

    Abysmus grapples Super Cyborg, spitting acid at the armour covering the torso and ripping it off, exposing Mr Stone. Mr Stone uses his armour's secondary weapons to take a shot at Abysmus's face which forces him to back off for a moment, but then he's back on the offensive and Mr Stone can't do much more than block the blows on his forearms' armour.

    "-n't. He was a child soldier himself. He's sympathetic, particularly to Mr Stone."

    "Yes, he… Looks it." I take a moment to look at the devastation that has already been wrought on this city. "And you're not worried about the Justice League turning up?"

    He shakes his head. "No, they never come here."

    "They… Just leave their adolescent wards entirely to their own devices?"

    "Yeah. Not really sure why, but given all the people I kill it's really convenient. Shouldn't be-."

    "RRARH!"

    Abysmus -who was holding Mr Stone's mech over his head- stops still and tosses it aside. Then he breathes in and a red mist flows from Raven into his mouth. She drops to the floor, stunned, and Koriand'r runs over to check on her.

    Abysmus lumbers in our direction.

    "All done. We'll leave now."

    "Um, why?"

    "I was a distraction. My brothers and sisters were the kill-team. Killing the target is easier when his protection is busy."

    He turns away and shoots off into the sky, Komand'r and Angelika coming back with more Manhunter remains as he does so.

    "Let's see what Robin's got for us."
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2020
  3. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    Hitting raven with infectious rage is a hugely bad idea. Like just wow, that's how you get Dr Light'ed
     
  4. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    Change "got" to whatever it's supposed to be. My instinct says "god", but I don't remember the S.I. encountering an evil god.
     
  5. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    'evil god' not 'evil got'

    Also when Raven pins someone after being infected I thin it should be Kori and not Kom.

    The evil god is Krona, who belongs to a species of godlike beings

    Also think 'it as well' not 'it was well'
     
  6. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I'm a bit confused. They killed the labtech by now? Was that the Red Lantern subplot here?
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    The lab tech could have worked for Professor Chang, seeing as he appears to be Jump City's resident mad scientist
     
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  8. Oglymogly

    Oglymogly Not too sore, are you?

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    Nice fight scene! I always enjoy seeing competent enemies.

    Quick question though, where did Paul get the gold from?
     
  9. SemiAnarchist

    SemiAnarchist I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sneaky hidden link is sneaky.

    Also very fitting, for a Red Lantern.
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    He probably went on a little mining expedition to gather gold.

    Remember what Bill Cipher said when the apocalypse comes?

    "BUY GOLD, BYE"

    Ah, ah,ohhh... I really need to buy some gold now
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2020
  11. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I have to wonder, is this Jade mute or does she just not talk while her mask is on so she can use her actual face to go incognito/undercover?
     
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  12. Doccer

    Doccer Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm sorry, but compared to an evil god, a girl with knives just isn't that scary.
     
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  13. Oglymogly

    Oglymogly Not too sore, are you?

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    Yeah, and with the jump cut he had the time to mine it quickly.

    I think there is gold deposits in Korea as well.
     
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  14. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sounds more like another guy who encouraged people to buy gold because the end times were coming soon and you should really get a nifty bunker to hide in for a few years until the worst was over.
     
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  15. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Yes... They are insanely lucky Raven didn't curbstomp every single one of them.
     
  16. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    Sigh... Honestly, Green Lantern is a public hero. Or heroes. You'd think it would be fairly common knowledge that Lanterns are practically immune to mundane weapons... Though as OL shows here, not completely immune...

    Wow, even when it's not his Jade, he knows her moves perfectly.

    Translation: "Dammit, stop commentating my fighting style!"

    Yeah, that's not creepy at all, OL.

    "Keep talking, I'm listening."

    "That's gonna cost extra, bucko."

    "Okay, You got a deal. Not afraid of knives?"

    "Most long-underwear types don't ask to hire me..."

    "All right, let's go."

    Was there ever any explanation for her silence? An old injury? Or maybe she's like Cassandra Cain? Or like Cuchulin asked, keeping incognito?

    Oh, great, it's turned into Pacific Rim, junior edition.

    I suppose it's harder to maintain tech with a Ring that... Aggressive?

    Ow. Hey, Garfield, take note: do not engage the super-strong guy in hand-to-hand combat when you are squishy...

    Yeah, duh, OL. Admittedly, it's easy to assume you and your alternates are outliers of Ring ability.

    Ugh, joy of a kids' cartoon's outlook on collateral damage...

    Eh, Never assume the big, muscular green guy isn't smart too. Consider 'Professor' Hulk. Or Ghazghkull Mag uruk Thraka...

    And he's a mage too? A full package. Seriously, no surprise he's a senior Lantern.

    Ohshit! Danger, OL, Danger!

    Don't think the cooldown hug is gonna work here, Kory!

    So it's a standard Red Lantern technique? I guess it makes skilled opponents more likely to make mistakes...

    Yeah, kind of excessive. I guess he's just playing around?

    Might convince the team to up their game. Beatdown like that? They're going to be eager to improve.

    Honestly a good question. Why aren't they here?

    And people thought using the YJ Team as deniable Black-Ops was bad?

    Huh, guess he's decided they've had enough...

    Huh, mission accomplished, eh?

    ...ouch. Definitely a learning opportunity for the Titans... Doubt they'll take it though. Unless Raul wants to prompt them...

    And OL has no fucks to give, in the face of imminent multiversal disaster.

    Well. Local variants acquired. Time to be getting back to the dream-ruby realm? Hmm. Wonder what alternate Paul is next on the shopping list?

    Corrections:
    I thought this was Earth 32? Also, Full Stop rather than a comma?
    ...being hit by a hulking green alien with...
    ...missing the alien as he steps aside...
    ... look at the devastation that has already...
     
  17. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Not too sore, are you?

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    recovering -> recovered (?)
    then -> them
     
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  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Except that unlike Dr Light, Abysmus isn't a putz.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Sometimes I'm too sneaky. I don't think that anyone found the Thomas the Tank Engine link from a few days ago.
     
  19. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    I don't remember seeing anyone else find a Father Ted link a couple of weeks ago, either.
     
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  20. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    You mean the one where he shipped prisoners to the concentration camps, then went to trial for it?
     
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  21. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    Hey Mr Zoat, the Paragon isn't going to somehow forget about this whole episode after it's over, is he?
     
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  22. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    random tense change: tries
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  24. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Not a bad showing from the Titans, considering their opponent.
    Typically pathetic showing from the local Jade. Faster realisation than most though, either she is smarter than her older parallels or Paul is getting better at this.

    Less dangerous to him, more dangerous to his No Kill completion bonus.
     
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  25. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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  26. CalvinCopyright

    CalvinCopyright Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Are those red quotation marks supposed to be there? Is it just an indication of the degree to which the Infectious Rage got itself into Raven, or a sign of Red Enlightenment?
     
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  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    When the speech marks are coloured as well as the text within, it indicates that the individual in question is overwhelmed by the emotion.
     
  28. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    from what i remember, i thinkthe entire point of that storyline/retcon that he actually WASN'T-
    he essentially had his brain borderline cooked inside his skull by one of the "good" guys in a horrific ethics violation because attempting (and failing -just- enough to conveniently turn them into an idiot who spends decades humiliating themselves by being too stupid to be a competent villain instead of outright "Rosemary Kennedy-ing" them") to reduce someone to a drooling mess that constantly shits themselves via a gross abuse of psionic powers (and promptly do the exact fucking same thingto Bruce Wayne after he, quite reasonably, attempted to STOP them crossing the mind-rape event horizon, albiet with a tad more subtlty) is "better" then killing them after a really..distasteful incident involving rape, i think?

    ......*grumbles* its like the writers were trying to compete with the Spectre's repeated crimes against sentience in the "fucked up" department...
     
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  29. NeoDarklight

    NeoDarklight The Final Observer

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    Considering the time difference, I believe you meant GMT +5.
     
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  30. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    People STILL shoot at Superman.
     
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