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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    Careful with the recent, real life politics - QQ seems serious about that rule.
     
  2. Galacticplumber

    Galacticplumber Not too sore, are you?

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    That only works to any extent whatsoever if the countries which trade with the space faring entity don't simply immediately become the new first world as compared to the more limited current first world. We're talking resource influxes such that no entity on the planet can even pretend to compete.

    Doubly so when countries trading with the space company have no reason to not trade with each other.

    Triply so if they gain access to their own space technology to simply render the planet itself less important.

    They aren't a threat because they can offer a better deal in one or two markets. They're a threat, because they have the capability to out-compete ALL markets.
     
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  3. NeoDarklight

    NeoDarklight The Final Observer

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    I’m just wondering... At what point would the conversation get drawn to the video game about Paul’s adventures in Vega, and then someone brings up DRMs? Because I can imagine Manga Khan saying something along the lines of “Good sir! I am absolutely appalled! Such a fiendish, insidious creation, to enslave customers to a particular service just to enjoy that which they have already purchased! Please, good sir! Tell me more!”
     
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  4. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    That doesn't matte shit when the supporting industries can't keep up, and the rogue nations are allowed to actually trade with each other. The advent of free trade was ecause it favoured the strategic goals of the emerging superpower. If that very system becomes a threat, it's gone, no question about it.

    Zoat is the one who introduced it into the thread so it's story relevant. I'm not going off topic, it's a related annecdote.

    Trade is politics, because politics define the limits and laws of trade.

    Free trade is not a thing that just happens or is natural, it requires an extreme amount of co-operation and force project and negotiation because even free trade isn't free. It's an extension of politics and is subject to heavy political pressure.
     
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  5. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Zoat took a few things from Mass effect, and one of the pillars of the economy in mass effect are IP rights and DRM enforcement.


    In ME you don't buy the weapons, you license the blueprints and then print them in fabricators, it's even a plot point that by the reaper war the turians release several of their proprietary weapons in the extra net so anyone with a printer's and the necessary materials can print these weapons to fight against the reapers.

    DRM, IP rights, etc is how the galactic economy turns in the game and its why there are corporations with fleets large enough to beat the crap out of the SA navy.
     
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  6. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm going to need a source on this. A point of major contention is that the SA is rapidly filling up the Dreadnought allowance and even sidestepping it with the creation of their carriers.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Zoat did change some of the characters backstories for his story to make it more interesting and flesh them out so to speak. The fact they live in a separate universe and many of them didn't show up in that universe does afford him the ability to write how he likes while still being true to canon of the show.

    For example he changed Blackfires and Starfires story on this one on how they got kidnapped by the Citadel.

    In the comics Blackfire betrayed her people and sold her sister to the Citadelians. She also tortured her and had her humiliated and raped before she herself was betrayed by the Citadel.

    In this story the Citadel took them because their brother joined the Omega Men and they wanted to hurt the royal family for revenge.

    If Blackfire 16 was more like her pre flashpoint self and committed the things she did in the comics, well I asked Zoat if that was the case would the SI alter her mind like he did with Mammon and his answer was:

    This does make sense since he wouldn't need her for well anything, either as a Lantern or as Queen.

    Kori can be Queen as she most likely has had training in how to rule since she was a child before being sent to the Warlords, we just never saw her get the chance to rule in the comics and even if Kom in this story said her skills are inferior to hers, remember that while she didn't do the things her comic counterpart did she is still biased against her sister. Kori can also be ruthless even if we mostly saw that in the renegade version of her when she didn't show those Gordanians any mercy or sympathy and when renegade mentioned she destroyed the Spider Nest, but even her paragon self was willing to kill the Citadelains and Psions, she was just uncomfortable with mind controlling them and assimilation. Her pre flashpoint wasn't so ruthless because she spent time on Earth where she probably lost her edge, but this one never set foot on Earth. Her Outlaws counterpart in the n52 shows just how ruthless she can be. And her ability to grant mercy can also become useful since Vega is becoming a decent place to live, unlike in the comics where it remained a shithole, so a leader capable of being both ruthless and merciful is something that is needed. Her sister is just ruthless and cruel, which was good when Vega was a shithole, but now can become a problem if she isn't able to tone her negative traits down.
    It would be a whole lot more easier to make Kori a bit more ruthless then it would be to have Kom develop the capacity for mercy, unless mind alteration is used.
    And even the more innocent version of Kom in this fic is more interested in brute force and doesn't like to be questioned, so if she was more like her pre n52 self working with her would have been extremely difficult without some alterations. Assuming the mc needs her, which he wouldn't.

    Kori can also get the help of Blake and Dox, who are both super intelligent and ruthless, to help her manage Tamaran, which they are doing in the paragon and renegade timelines, if she needs to acquire more skills and further become ruthless

    The fact that Kom betrayed her people and participated in the torture of her sister, something which is the Citadels favorite hobby, would mean her people would be unwilling to accept her as queen, considering how much they hate the Citadel and their practices. And I doubt that her betrayal would remain secret as the Citadel would reveal it to demoralize the people and even she may reveal it to hurt those that shunned her and make them think it was their fault while feeling safe in the protection the Citadel provides.Without the backing of the Citadel or any of the things that allowed her to remain queen in the comics, avoiding civil war, the crises that befall tamaraneans and nearly destroyed their society while allowing her to make them accept her as their queen, nobody would have a reason to let her be queen. She couldn't also trick OL since they are both very intelligent men, who have the ability to see emotions, paragon all of them, renegade fear and desire, so they can see her desires and that one of them is her enjoyment of her sisters pain and they may be reluctant to work with her knowing she is a sadistic, traitorous monster, without first doing some changes to her personality. Renegade was disgusted with what Mordru was doing so he would be disgusted with what she was doing and paragon was disgusted with what was happening with Caliope and what the Citadelians had done to Kori and Kom so he would try to free her sister which would not sit well with Kom who may try something against him in the future as revenge if he leaves her alive and unaltered. Remember one of her defining traits is the hatred she has for her sister and in her crazy mind anyone who helps her is her enemy. And even if she isn't able to hurt him she can hurt someone close to him and may even just kill a bunch of innocent people while blaming him that if he didn't stand in her way then she wouldn't have done that, and yes she is petty enough to do something like that.

    As for her being a Lantern well there is Kori again, who can use a ring, the renegade also gave rings to other Tamaraneans so paragon can also do that if he needs them to take down the Citadel and maintain order in Vega.

    While they have both worked with some questionable people without killing them or altering them, this is because they needed those people alive, couldn't alter them without risks or didn't need to because they were reasonable and would abandon their more questionable activities. They don't need Kom alive, they can alter her with little risk and she is anything but reasonable, as she has committed some stupid and pointless actions in the comics which served absolutely no one and are self defeating, and if her narration of her backstory in the REBELS comic was any indication she may be just a tad bit deluded and may not see how any of her actions were in any way wrong.

    Yeah I don't think Kom's more canonical self would have gotten off as easily as she did in the comics in this story without at least getting some alterations done.

    Her n52 counterpart on the other hand is sane, hasn't committed the things her pre n52 self did and while she gave her sister to slavery, it was to protect her people while pre n52 Kom just wanted to see her sister suffer. Kom n52 wants to see her people safe and actually loves her sister and regrets her actions. These qualities can make her be able to wield a orange ring while also not needing the SI to alter how she thinks or be near her to make sure she doesn't engage in stupid evil shit like her pre n52 self did in the comics.

    Teen Titans one at least didn't torture her sister and may be at least somewhat reasonable. Her betrayal could be viewed as necessary as they were losing the war, but she didn't torture Kori like the New Earth one. There is a difference between what can be viewed as her necessary evil and New Earths just evil for fun and stupidity and spite. Tricking people into thinking what you did was necessary is a whole lot more difficult when you needlessly torture innocent people and the one you try to trick can see emotions. Also the Tamaranean in Teen Titans may have been losing the war so surrendering may seem like a good move, but in the comics it was only said that they were fighting a war with them, not that they were losing, so she just essentially betrayed her people and made them slaves for no good reason.

    Anyway I went a bit overboard so sorry.

    It is always interesting to see how Zoat can work these characters into his story and what changes he makes to them.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2020
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  8. Threadmarks: Everything is Awesome
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    11th September 2004
    21:33 GMT +2


    It still hasn't gotten… Any. Less. Great!

    "Everything is awesome!
    Everything is cool when you've got a gold ring!"


    Richard sighs faintly as we walk towards the cell holding Jade Musenda. Kaznia isn't messing around with the security here. Constant remote monitoring and highly professional guards, multiple mechanical locks and the woman herself is wearing an impressive-looking array of chains.

    "Everything is awesoooooooome!"

    "Please stop. It's been three days."

    "Three days of unimaginable luxury."

    "The palace is nice-."

    "Three days of not dying. Three days of being able to use my ring without pain. Three days of a polite-" We stop while the last line of guards confirm our identities. "-AI and not a Qwardian lunatic. I could be sleeping on a bed of nails and eating out of a dustbin and I'd still be overjoooooyed!"

    "Just try and be professional when we talk to Cheshire."

    I bow my head, close my eyes and raise my right hand in a gesture of benediction.

    "Right."

    The guards step aside and the senior member of the detail makes a quick visual inspection of the cell's interior through the pane of reinforced glass in the final door. Seeing nothing amiss she unlocks the final door and pushes it inwards.

    Mrs Musenda is chained to the walls, but has enough slack to move between her bed and toilet. Not quickly though, as her ankles and wrists are chained together. She's also dressed in standard prison attire rather than her more flamboyant supervillainess outfit. Her face betrays only mild wariness as Richard and I step inside and the door is locked behind us.

    "Cheshire."

    "Robin. Lantern."

    I smile brightly. "Gooood evening."

    "Do you want something?"

    "We want to know who hired you to go after Queen Audrey."

    "There's a surprise. What's in it for me?"

    "A reduced sentence."

    She nods.

    "And if I don't go along with this, Lantern kills me."

    I grin.

    "Actually, no. Kaznia is applying to join the European Union, and the European Union has a prohibition on the death penalty. They can't even extradite you to somewhere that might kill you."

    Richard eyeballs me for a moment.

    "So what am I being offered?"

    "Kaznia has an automatic life sentence for murder." Richard makes a dismissive gesture with his right hand. "Just for the people you and your accomplice killed during your assassination attempt, they're going to leave you in this room for eight hundred years. You won't ever be let outside, you won't speak to anyone other than a priest and a court-appointed lawyer. No books, no phone calls, you'll have no contact with the outside world at all."

    "And if I help you?"

    I take out the official document.

    "The sentence is the same, but it gets commuted to fifty years and the conditions are considerably more humane. You'll be an old woman by the time you get out, but you won't be a vegetable."

    She rolls her eyes. "Please. I wouldn't help you for anything less than a full pardon."

    Richard and I look at each other. I shrug theatrically, while he just turns away to knock on the door.

    "As you wish. There's no time limit on the offer, but it isn't going to improve. Queen Audrey's experience with her late husband left her with a rather dim view of supervillains."

    "Would my employers get an eight hundred year sentence too?"

    "Only if they were arrested." My smile becomes less warm. "And I don't have arrest authority."

    "When you handed me over, I wasn't sure if-" The door opens. "-the stories about you were true. Why did you take me alive?"

    "A whim, more or less. Killing someone in cold blood still doesn't sit comfortably with me." Richard walks out and I turn to follow him. "Let your guards know if you change you mind."

    11th September 2004
    22:12 GMT +2


    "You know, some-" I look Richard over. "-costumes don't work in well-lit environments, but you can pull it off."

    "Ah…" He gives me an awkward glance as we head towards one of the palace's drawing rooms. "Thanks..?"

    "Definitely prefer it to that 'Robin-the-boy-target' thing you used to wear. Oh, I've been meaning to ask: would you mind helping me with my exercise regime? Between a Qwardian power ring and the Lazarus Pits it didn't take much effort to keep myself in shape, but now…"

    "Sure, we can.. come up with something. How much do you actually know about me?"

    "Summary only. My research was focused on the Society of Shadows rather than Batman's allies."

    One of the palace under butlers pulls open the door ahead of us to allow us inside, and we stroll past him into Queen Audrey's presence. No one else here..? No, guards on the balcony and in an adjoining room, but no one in here. Queen Audrey looks up with a polite smile from where she's sitting on a settee, a folder of paperwork open on the low table in front of her. She looks… Tired, but she's covering it well. She shuffles her papers into a stack and returns them to the folder before giving us her full attention.

    "I assume that she did not take it."

    I shake my head. "No, but.. that was expected."

    She nods to the settee opposite her, and Richard and I take our seats.

    "Our police have not yet been able to uncover the identity of her employer. I am sad to say that I still do not have any shortage of enemies. Do either of you have any suspicions?"

    Richard nods. "HIVE have been expanding their assassination operations, now that they don't have to compete with the Society of Shadows. Cheshire is the kind of woman they'd hire."

    I shrug. "My first thought was your late husband's family, but that's not based on any actual evidence. No reason why we can't investigate both."

    "Family-?" She looks away with a disgruntled huff. "Of course a man of his age had family."

    "To be fair, most of them don’t like him. Locating them won't be hard."

    Richard nods. "I'll work on the HIVE angle. If you can get me access to your intelligence reports-."

    Queen Audrey nods. "Of course." She takes a deep breath in and then a slow breath out, visibly becoming more relaxed. "Will you need somewhere to stay while you work? Putting you up is the least I can do."

    "Thanks, but I'll be moving around to follow up leads-."

    "Not tonight, surely? It will take some time to gather together the information you require."

    "That-. I.. suppose. Thank you."

    "I'll have my servants prepare something suitable." Then she smiles, and more than a little of her old playgirl personality peeks through. "Inviting two men into my home unchaperoned when I am newly widowed. What will people think?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2020
  9. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Where do you think Cerberus got all those warships? Private security corporations are allowed to build their own fleets assets, all Cerberus did was paint on their logo on the warships they were already operating in their shell companies. Cerberus is financed by human interest from wealthy human corporations and its established that humanity has the smallest economy in Citadel space bellow the Elcor.

    Corporations flexing and taking over worlds is one of the reasons things suck in the terminus systems, etc.


    There are several mentions or extremely large private militaries in the setting, like one Volus digging for artifacts in the Terminus with a huge private fleet to deter would be pirates, heck even the Andromeda Initiative a private one way expedition to another galaxy manages to build a FTL capable space station that is around the same size of the crucible (like a third of the size of the Citadel).



    Tupari sells 13 trillion bottles of sports drinks per day, you can bet your ass their private military is probably significantly larger than the one cerberus build with the backing of a few pedestrian billionaires.

    In regards to dreadnoughts allowances, dreadnoughts are useless in all scenarios outside all out war, they are too slow to serve against piracy, and patrolling, it's why the most common proper warship in the games are frigates.
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'it gets' not 'it get'

    'with my' not 'with me'

    Nice to see Goldie here get a happy ending.

    Also does anyone think that he may start a relationship with both Dick and Audrey here?

    I thought it was odd the way he was talking to Dick there and after what Audrey said, well some things came to mind.

    Jumped up elementals know the guy deserves it after the shit he went through and if anyone knows how short life can be and that you need to enjoy it as much as possible then it's Goldie here.
     
  11. LiamOfOrmonde

    LiamOfOrmonde Know what you're doing yet?

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    People will think she’s got game obviously. It’s the only answer that I can come to.
     
  12. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Group up, and hit it till it dies.
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They would also think that she has good taste after the whole Savage thing.

    Nightwing , universally recognized as having the greatest ass the universe has ever seen, and Gold Lantern who is a powerful man that protected her life and will most likely become something akin to Kaznia's premier superhero and may join the League in the future.

    Both of these options are superior to Savage, granted that isn't saying much considering it is Savage.
     
  14. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Robin: you've been tortured and killed continously and I did nothing to help you but now your happiness is annoying to me. Shut up.

    What. An. Ass.
     
  15. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    So you don't have a source is what I'm hearing.

    Cerberus has a fleet of small ships and cruisers. It was by no means a major or even a minor power. They just had enough to strike at the right place and the right time while the galaxy was dealing with everything else. That's it.

    You explicitly said beat the crap out of the navy, which implies a fight. And any fight where one side has Dreadnoughts and the other doesn't isn't much a fight.
     
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  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Why leave out Diana?
    That's something most people say about him.
    It was ME3. Cerberus got a navy by pulling it out of their arse.
     
  17. GamingPizza1998

    GamingPizza1998 Verified Pizza

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    They wish they could watch?
     
  18. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    So Lego movie came out in 2014 but you were picked up in 2013 did Antigree come up with the song on his own?
     
  19. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    and keep in mind, Cerberus managed to build up a full-scale, modern military fleet with Cruisers,Carriers and Dreadnoughts whilst operating undercover in a galaxy where they'd have gotten dogpiled by almost literally everyone, if it got out that the xenophobic child-torturing, treasonous psycho's were building up a warfleet-

    even discounting the materials/R&D data they got from Shepard's prospecting before their parting of the ways, that means they were able to build a full-scale capitol warfleet entirely out in the dark with massive restrictions on their ability to build up-and the massive wastage of raw materials and funds their position enforced-the logistical difficulties alone of passing resources/manpower between cells whilst maintaining security must have been staggering!
    ... a "normal" nation or megacorp, i hazard, could probably have built two-three for the cost cerberus needed for ONE...

    i was rather surprised/disappointed that the megacorps DIDNT have fleet-scale assets of their own available in three >><
     
  20. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Technically the entire Asari navy and military is privately owned. So that would full fill your requirements of a source no?
     
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  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    When people say that about him it is usually in a more complimentary way.

    Hell in the YJ Abridged show Khaji Da is actually attracted to him to the point that he takes over Jaime's body just to have sex with him.

    Also Nightwing is fairly professional so he may think Goldie should tone it down a bit if they want to be seen as professionals.

    He may be glad that Goldie is free, but he still would like him to behave in a professional manner when on the job.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
  22. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Technically the entire Asari military is made of PMCs.

    There is the entire omega defense force that was broadly speaking under the command/employ of Aria.

    Yawn... Also I was looking forward to Manga Khan and Paul having a chat, so I am disappointed by the filler... Oh well I am going to sleep now.
     
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  23. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    its worth noting that this statement is partially correct at best-
    whilst relatively small, the ME3- era Cerberus Fleet DID include a minimum of ONE Dreadnought- and likely several more simply due to economy of scale-their industrial-level indoctrination program made the manpower requirements negligiable- and the ships they had were significantly above the galactic tech curve....
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2020
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  24. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Ah, Gaul. I see he's enjoying his new Status Quo. Honestly, if Teal Lanterns were a real DC thing, he'd have gotten a ring by now.

    Points for the LEGO Movie quote. And the lyrics scan well, too. I assume his knowledge of it came from another Paul's database.

    Ah, the local Cheshire. I presume 'Musenda' was someone she married for a mission, and chose to keep the name? <checks> Ah, the man who taught Cheshire the art of poisons while married to her (at sixteen!) before she poisoned him...

    Gee, Nightwing, are we bringing down your broody aura?

    Pffsh. Palaces. I imagine he's enjoying not dying daily.

    Hey, I think he likes it!:D This is indeed awesome.

    Ah, the dripping sarcasm. I wonder how Nyssa took it?

    Good idea to be cautious, she's probably still dangerous even chained up...

    Oh, he is such a treat.

    No link? Or is she a non-entity in the comics and/or shows? <checks> Ah, here we go: Audrey. Heir to the throne, seduced by Vandal Savage, saved by Wonder Woman and the League.

    Always appealing, but...

    I'm sure he's in too good a mood for that.

    Admittedly, that doesn't mean they can't leave you in a cell to rot...

    Ah, not rejecting it out of hand. Good, good.

    Huh, they really do plan to leave her to rot, don't they?

    So around seventy-five, eighty years old. Assuming she doesn't escape before then. Because she almost certainly will manage to.

    Given she was married to Vandal Savage... I take it Cheshire got him, which means he'll be back around later.

    On the other hand, now that he's closer to the League, he probably doesn't want to kill, either. Beat them unconscious, then let Nightwing handle it, then.

    Assuming, as noted, she doesn't escape before then.

    Easy, Gaul. Leave some eye candy for the ladies. Though form-fitting black and blue psuedo-spandex does wonders for that Grayson ass.

    Now he actually has to work to maintain his muscles. I'm guessing the Gold Ring doesn't come with an equivalent of the Orange Ring's automatic self-image conversion.

    All the easier to take down Ra's al Ghul. I suppose the Detective's partners would have minor mention in his notes.

    Looks like she's leaving the party-girl life behind her.

    I'm sure they can wear her down. After all, I'm sure she can only stand begin chained for so long...

    Yet another secret society of bad guys...

    50,000 years leaves a lot of one-night stands to go around.

    Getting his hand in on the detective work, I see. He'll be the Bat one day, barring the Batman Beyond future...

    Dude, take the hint. She's seen that ass.

    The old-fashioned folks? Scandalised. The young ones? Jealousy! But really, Superheroes. I'm sure nothing below-board will happen.

    Well, that was a bit of fun. Good to see Gaul settling in with his newfound freedom. Ever since you introduce him, Mr Zoat, people have wanted something like this for him. Now, back to the politics... And I note both Yaul and Gaul were kind of dealing with politics in their chapters too. Sneaky!
     
  25. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Sounds like this Paul might end up getting a little somethin somethin.
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Do you mean darkside?



    Well he certainly has suffered emotionally and physically and has experience wielding a hostile power.

    Also Gaul threw Savage in the sun, so even if he is able to come back it would take him billions of years to.

    Considering how old Savage is, everyone, except the SI, can be considered to be his descendant and distant family member.
     
  27. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    He did nothing to help? We've only seen this A-GL timeline in less than 10 chapters. We know almost nothing of what he's done with him.
     
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  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Pretty sure the first time they met was when he got taken by Krona.

    Superman may have tried to help him, but it probably didn't do all that much since the scientists may have difficulty scanning the ring and taking it off would be very difficult and dangerous.
     
  29. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

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    Blegh, so instead of just executing people they keep them in a room for the rest of their lives with no access to the outside world in any real meaningful way. Essentially killing them but prolonging their death for as long as possible. And the only way out, in fifty or so years, is to give up their employer. That is how they handle all murder?

    That is not going to convince people to give up the people they work for. That is going to convince them to find a way to kill themselves in prison.

    And looking up who this Audrey is, all it lists is that she was a spoiled princess more interested in partying, helped Wonder Woman take down Savage, and while she was queen a civil war broke out.
     
  30. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    And now I know that's a thing. Thank you.
     
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