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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    No, not that...
    This:
    [​IMG]

    I thought you were making a reference with the whole 'fur coat' thing. My apologies if I assumed incorrectly, I just really didn't enjoy the live-action adaptation of the Teen Titans for a number of reasons.

    The 'Fuck Batman' line for Robin was from one of the first trailers for the show.
     
  2. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    They just don't make cat girls the way they used to...

    I thought making this at all was brave, seeing as the public wont take men-in-rubber-suits as aliens, these days. I'm sure some people like it. But...

    Reminds of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', where the special effects budget wouldn't handle super-strong vampires, so we got loads of martial artist actors, which portrayed that vampires fought differently, instead... And, jokes about the 'vampire martial arts' package...
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    It probably would have been kinda difficult to make someone that has orange skin seem attractive in real life, instead of a page, so they had to settle for giving a slightly glowing bronze hue to her skin.
     
  4. My_Game_Account

    My_Game_Account Getting out there.

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    Xmaster3000 and Prince Charon like this.
  5. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    I think this is probably going off-topic, now, honestly.

    I only made the initial comment because I incorrectly assumed Zoat was reference the live action adaption, which he evidently wasn't.

    To get back on topic, I'm interested to see what the star conquerors are doing if if is indeed them finally rearing their ugly heads after being quiet so long.
     
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  6. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    Obligatory "if you're only going to do written dialect for a single word out of hundreds, you're not actually doing a dialect" post. Multiple people pointed it out as a typo. That shouldn't be a conclusion people would jump to if you're actually demonstrating a dialect properly.
     
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  7. Massgamer

    Massgamer Not too sore, are you?

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    When we are talking Star Conquerors we are talking about the local starfish that absorbed the Staro-tech stuff so they are even better at controlling people, right?
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Oh gods no. I don't think it was as bad as the animated thing, as we all already knew that DC can't do live action while the Titans thing was based on a popular animated series. But yeah, I wouldn't quote it except for mockery purposes.

    Or fixing.
    If you can tell me the proper dialect for a ten thousand year old man, I'll be happy to write it in a uniform manner.
     
  9. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    ... So you have no idea how he should speak, but you're very certain he would say 'bat' with an e? I think that's what we call arbitrary, mate. If you don't know how he should speak, what it should sound like, just have Paul comment he speaks with an indefinable accent and write his dialogue normally. Saves people time trying to correct your not!typos.
     
  10. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I hope this isn't a typo and Doctor Mist actually pronounces Batman as "Betman." That is just too funny.
     
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  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, I'm saying that if there isn't a 'proper' way to write it then any way of writing it is equally valid.
    It's funny: I think someone posted this exact comment last time.
     
  12. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    Then maybe he should heve a consistent eccent instead of only a single word spelled wrong? Just mek it consistent and there is no issue. If he says 'Betmen' there are thousands more words where thet particular eccent quirk would epply. But you're not epplying it.

    Do the accent. Don't do the accent. Whichever works for you. Just don't half arse it.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    If you can point out where he's said 'Batman' I'm happy to change it.
     
  14. topin89

    topin89 Virgin Centrist

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    Well, there are ways. Assuming, for some reason, that neither his long-forgotten first language nor modern language of his current home village have "æ" vowel, we can look for vowel transitions from IPA
    [​IMG]

    And choose some neighbor vowel. "E" in out case. Next, consistently replacing any "ae" like cat or had, but not, you can simulate an accent.
    You can combine any nearby vowels into one chosen form, cause for untrained ear they are kinda indistinguishable.
    Now, since it's not just plain text, you can use phonetic symbols instead of plain English letters, e.g. "Bɛtman". Letter sizes. Colors. Youtube links.

    Endless possibilities, negated only by absence of real necessity.
     
  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Oh, that's a relief!
     
  16. HatsAreHats

    HatsAreHats Wears sunglasses at night

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    If she goes back to Vega with those sunstones it's going to set Amalak off, OL better mention that she should lie about where she got it.
     
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  17. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Amalak may not know that those are Kryptonian tech, plus he could just think that she manufactured those herself after reviewing her rings database, instead of getting it from a Kryptonian.

    Kinda dissapointed we won't see her adventures in Gotham, but maybe it's for the best.

    Wouldn't wanna see her end up like Jim Gordon from Harley Quinn.



    Love or hate the show, you have to admit that it paints a fairly realistic picture of what would happen to someone if they tried to manage a city like Gotham.
     
  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That's a distinct possibility, but it assumes that he would recognise it.
     
  19. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    You do realise his point was you can simulate the accent you're going for incredibly easily just by applying the one alteration to the one word you do it in across any words with the same sound.

    No, that wasn't a question. You do realise that. You're just being deliberately obtuse so you can continue to half-arse a thing you don't really want to do? But are entirely willing to pretend you want to do.
     
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  20. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Yeah Zoat does tend to do that.

    Hey maybe we'll see another version of him that somehow lost his obtuse attitude, as well as several of his other more negative characteristics, with the help of 'friend'.

    Like this guy:

     
  21. NeoDarklight

    NeoDarklight The Final Observer

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    I don’t know why, but I suddenly started interpreting Dr. Balewa being voiced by Morgan Freeman, and now I can’t I hear it.
     
  22. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Word of Zoat is that Starros don't share a hive mind here.

    I remember thinking it was a shame, no apocritic drug made from Starro DNA to give people temporary hive minds as from Checkmate.
     
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  23. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 12)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
    18:20 GMT +7


    "Okay, so you see how the memory of him clocking in today doesn't have anything like the same number of attachments as the other memories?"

    Koriand'r's eyes are glowing brilliant orange as she tries to see what I see.

    "I…" She shakes her head. "Do not think so."

    Okay, perhaps if we…

    I turn to the site manager who has been assigned to assist us.

    "Excuse me. Would you mind assisting me in a training exercise?"

    "Ah…"

    "You just have to clock in and out and then stand there for a bit."

    "Oh. Ah, sorry, but I need to stay here. Timofey!" One of the warehouse workers stops pushing his trolley and looks around. "Help Orange Lantern."

    He shifts his trolley to the side so that it won't get in the way, and as a former warehouse operative myself I find myself nodding in approval. It's considerate. I float towards him and Koriand'r follows me.

    "Lantern Koriand'r is-"

    And despite the coat, it's pretty clear which of us he'd rather be looking at.

    "-learning to identify altered memories. Please show us where you clock in."

    He nods. "This way."

    We follow him through the warehouse, and I note that there don’t appear to be any more soldiers around than there were when we arrived. I suppose that there are only so many highly vetted soldiers around in any one place. Perhaps the Director decided that bringing more people in was a bigger risk than having fewer people on guard? Then again, this warehouse does supply Russian military facilities across the region. If they tighten things up too much people might not get fed and… Heh, every society is three meals away from chaos.

    "Timofey, have you worked here for long?"

    "Four years."

    "Excellent." I turn my head to look at Koriand'r. "Timofey will have all sorts of memories associated with the action while I have next to none. You will observe carefully as we both form memories and note the difference."

    She nods uncertainly.

    "I understand, but I do not think that I have the accuracy to perceive the memory forms as you do."

    "That could be." I nod. "I mostly teach ways of thinking. Lantern Xor wasn't much for subtlety, and my own progression was… Rather atypical. I really don't know what it takes for another Lantern to see things as I do."

    "Were you able to see the desires of other people before you joined with the Ophidian?"

    "Yes… But it was much harder to work out exactly what was going on. I could see drives, but I never learned to see exactly how they related to individual experiences. So this is a learning experience for both of us! You're learning to do it, and I'm learning what it takes for you to learn it!"

    Timofey stops next to a somewhat dated computer system with a barcode scanner attached.

    "Um. You're looking at my desires?"

    "Just the ones associated with clocking in and out every day. And… Think of us as proctologists. You haven't got any shit we haven't seen before."

    "Ah-." Another glance at Koriand'r. "Okay?"

    Quick check, nothing too specific, just getting a general overview… Yes, nothing I haven't seen before. The orange light associations with the act relate to ingroup affirmation and financial reward. This won't have quite the same associations as this is just a demonstration, but he's been doing it every working day for the last four years so it should be bedded in.

    Koriand'r's eyes glow as she tries to see the parts of Timofey's psyche that I'm referring to.

    "Okay, if you could please clock out?"

    He smiles slightly nervously.

    "You'll tell my supervisor why I did this, right? We're so backed up now that they're going to be on our-. Cases about timekeeping."

    I nod. "Of course."

    He unclips his name tag from his overalls and waves it in front of the barcode reader, which beeps its acknowledgement. As expected, the associations trigger more weakly that they normally would, but they're still there. I'm a little worried that we're throwing things off just by being here, but we're just killing time until Dr Balewa finishes anyway…

    "And now I do it."

    "But I cannot see you."

    Oh. Right.

    "The eye thing is psychosomatic anyway. Just connect a filament to me."

    She raises her left hand and closes her eyes, a strand of orange light attaching her to my environmental shield. I fabricate a copy of Timofey's name tag and scan it.

    "Did you see-?"

    "Orange Lantern!" The three of us look around as Dr Balewa shouts. "I have them!"

    I transition back to him, taking… A somewhat confused Timofey with me.

    "And where are they?"

    "Take me to where the ships disappeared, and then I will tell you."

    "Rightoh. Koriand'r, we're-" She flies into view. "-going up."

    I attach a filament to Dr Balewa and the universe flickers as we reappear in space.

    12th April
    11:23 GMT


    "Yes, I see." He looks around as Koriand'r catches up with us. "Clever, and not an approach that most people would use. But… With a small application of power…"

    My rings chime, and a short distance away Lord Comic King flares with orange light!

    "Hold on, L-Ron! I'm coming!"

    And he's gone. Ring?

    I see the ships-. Well, the ClusterShip at least. It's keeping station near Pluto. No sign of damage, no active weapons…

    "Orange Lantern Illustres to interested parties. The ClusterShip is near Pluto. Manga Khan's already gone after it and I don't think he's amenable to reason. Batman, how would you like me to proceed?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2020
  24. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    He took Timofey with him to space of course.

    There is now a confused russian military warehouse worker that will be dragged along on OLs adventures, just passively floating along, occasionally bithching about things.
     
  25. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

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    I like that Manga's main desire seems to be to get L-Ron back. Not his ship, not anything else on the ship, specifically L-Ron.
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Welp he's at least loyal to his most loyal worker.
     
  27. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

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    L-Ron is basically a key component of their brain at this point. The ship can be replaced, as painful as it would be.
     
  28. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Getting sticky.

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    "HE'S MY BUTLER BOT, DAMMIT! I HAVE TO APPROVE HIS YEARLY 5 MINUTE BREAK!"
     
  29. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Think that they may be romantically involved maybe?

    I mean Pepper Pots loves Tony Stark.
     
  30. B.B. Rain

    B.B. Rain Not too sore, are you?

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    I'm pretty sure he just took Timofey to where Dr. Balewa called them over, then left him there...but that would be pretty funny.
     
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