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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Tzeentch

    Tzeentch I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I do hope we'll see more of Warhammer Paul in the future, if only to see him interact with either Khalida or the High Elves. For the latter, I imagine it certainly be fascinating see how conversation with the likes of Teclis or Tyrion would go.

    PAUL: Why the lack of mechanical engineering? I imagine elves would find it simplicity itself, given the general high intelligence your people possess!

    TECLIS: I believe my people usually prefer the works of spellcraft to the "lesser" smelly, noisy, and messy dwaf-like work of such physical labors as engineering. They are a.... proud and most sensitive lot.:rolleyes:
     
  2. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Cool, I will wait while you find where he made himself immune to pain.


    He's not dead, because bad writing ignored the consequences of the things described in the chapter.

    I would think you would get that given I all but spelled out my meaning.
     
  3. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    The Sheeda might not be the descendants of humanity, but their successors.

    The Sheeda claim the "blood of scorpions and spiders."

    They might be humans who engineered themselves into being fae-like bug people or the Sheeda might have been created as fae-like bug people.

    Or if you want to get really comic book mankind nuked themselves into oblivion and the insects really did inherit the earth, evolving into bug people.

    Let's face it, the fact that Sheeda and humans are genetically compatible isn't really a clue as to which origin is true.
     
  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Cool, I will wait while you find where he died in this chapter and when he didn't summon his rings back to him, even if rereading the chapter shows that he didn't die and managed to summon them back to him.

    He's not dead, because Zoat wanted to show how his character has advanced himself in various ways that allow him to do things ordinary people can't.

    And no, trying to figure out what you mean is a herculean task, seeing as you're terrible at expressing yourself more often than not.
     
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  5. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    And that's you admitting you can't.

    No duh, but he should be, because Zoat screwed up when writing the chapter.
     
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    And that's you admitting you will use every single excuse to justify your beliefs, even when they don't make much sense.

    Provide me with proof he died and didn't call his rings back in this chapter and I will attempt to find the part where he told Kon he made some changes to himself.

    Oh why not here's the part where he said he made some changes to himself:

    Bruce Banner should be dead after he got exposed to radiation.

    Peter Parker should be dead after being bitten by a radioactive animal.

    Plastic Man and Joker should be dead after falling in a vat of toxic chemicals.

    This isn't exactly the first time a fictional character should be dead after something horrible happens to them, yet they live.
     
  7. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    This is a world of comic-book physics. This is a cosmos where people are canonically able to gasp out dying words after their chest cavity gets a perfectly cylindrical hole blasted through it, despite not having a diaphragm to gasp with.

    Even in real-world physics, Vae, you're just straight up wrong. And not like the "you're arguing for real-world stuff in a comic book setting" like you usually are... This time around, you're COMPLETELY wrong.

    Shock doesn't work that way. Shock is the result of systemic hypoxia -- contrary to popular belief, pain has nothing to do with it. The most relevant form of shock for OL here is neurogenic shock, which is NOT a pain reaction, but is instead the result of a catastrophic neurological injury... and he's most certainly lost a large portion of his spinal cord. You might also reasonably argue for hypovolemic shock, but a double amputation isn't going to cause that right away; on the contrary, there's a reflex that tries to intentionally restrict blood flow to the extremities in such cases that's commonly (and incorrectly) associated with shock. In either case, it's well-known that it takes several seconds for unconsciousness to occur.

    OL will certainly not be firing on all cylinders. He'll be experiencing a massive hormone dump as his autonomous nervous system goes haywire as a result of the massive injuries. If he were a normal human under normal physics with no schizotech, yeah, he'd be a goner, and the few seconds it would take for his brain to shut down wouldn't really make a difference.

    But he HAS schizotech. His first thought after losing his hands is to call his rings to him. That'll only take a couple seconds, during which time he'll probably be rapidly fading, but the moment he gets contact with them again, the environmental shield takes over such mundane requirements as supplying oxygen to the brain. That's something that's already been established to not even require conscious awareness. And as soon as that happens, the progression of shock stops and begins to reverse. And with power rings able to take over the responsibility of keeping his body functioning, the rest of the scene is entirely consistent with established principles.
     
  8. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    This isn't that little one.

    Also your second attempt at an example is just straight up wrong on every level.

    Finally I am laughing really hard right now given Paul did a "the more you know" segment that showed the vast vast majority of humans just die to those sorts of things. (Except the radioactive spider bite, because that's not really deadly unless the venom was already deadly.)



    Partially correct, as what you described is one type of shock, but partially Incorrect because pain does cause shock.

    Next time you come to an internet fight, at least do a cursory google of the subject.
     
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  9. The Unaligned Player

    The Unaligned Player Agony that desires to meet Extinction

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    Genuine question with no intent to mock that I would like an honest answer to: Do you Vaermina enjoy the suffering of other human beings?
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Paul isn't the vast majority of humans in a lot of ways.

    He managed to summon his rings to him before the Sheeda could kill him and they saved his life.

    This isn't up for debate, it happened.

    Next time you decide to defend your beliefs at least read the chapter you're debating about.
     
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  11. Threadmarks: Otherworld (part 11)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    1st May
    13:26 GMT -5


    "We do not live now in the lands our forefathers tilled at Melmoth's behest."

    When Abednego made to open a crate containing what looked suspiciously like hardtack, I offered to cook something instead. My subspace food may be inaccessible but I'm perfectly capable of rebuilding food substances molecule by molecule. And since my personal lantern is sitting nearby in a case I'm not desperate to save power. But apparently his sister baked them with a hint of something called 'zynam', which is some sort of local herb. It sounded like he was looking forward to it.

    Thank you, 16th century high church Anglicans. I dread to think what our food culture would be like if these people had won.

    "That was…" He looks around. "Some way away, past the land we are now travelling toward. Melmoth had no Sheeda allies, but he had warbeasts and monsters of the Sheeda host who were bound to him. Some were large; great insects who could swallow men whole and men made of water who could melt flesh with a touch. Others were small; tiny man-shaped creatures with insect wings, who could spy upon us or control a man by touching his neck."

    "Spine Riders. We met them. They actually stab their blades into the neck to take control of their victim's central nervous system via their spine. Did he have large maggots as well?"

    I generate a construct, and Abednego nods in recognition.

    "That be having the look of it. He had mortal men as well, but our forebears couldn't ken whether they served him willingly or were bound by spell or fairie. As you were told, it was not until the first generation of his children grew to manhood that they could rise against him, having learned of the magics he used to bind his creatures."

    Mr. Yao nods. "They are the same spells you use to control your undead servants."

    "Aye, that they are. There was something of the Sheeda in the beasts, as there is something of the Sheeda in each of us. I deny it not. We needed new fields and new homes. Labour was short and need was great. It seemed unseemly to them as to you, but it was needful."

    Leonid frowns. "And now?"

    "Now, 'tis custom. 'Tis normal. Each of us knows that we will labour our lives and labour our deaths 'til our bodies crumble to naught. 'Tis a service we willingly give to our descendants."

    "There is no final rest?"

    "Nay, there is. A corpse does not heal. In time, the witch-signs will not serve to bind the remains and the body collapses. They are buried again, and blessed, and they finally know peace."

    "What is the orthodox church's view on magic?"

    "It… It depends. Some things are allowed. Manipulating the physical world is usually accepted. But to speak with the dead-." He shakes his head. "No priest would allow it."

    Abednego looks at him curiously. "You are a Christian, then?"

    Leonid nods. "Yes. Of the Russian Orthodox church."

    "Ah! I had thought that your entire company were pagans!"

    "Christianity is the Earth's largest religion, if you don't mind the denomination."

    "And do we puritans make up a goodly portion?"

    Leonid looks at me.

    "Between the intervening centuries and your use of magic, no one on Earth practises Christianity in quite the same way that you do, though violent conflict between Christian denominations is quite unusual."

    He nods. "That is better. But we wander from the point. Many died before Melmoth was brought low and the survivors fled before his monstrous host. Our forebears fled until the beasts pursued them not, then cleared fields and built the first of our settlements. We had peace for a time, but something… Perhaps our magic fumblings, perhaps they merely sought prey… The beasts found us, and we fought. Once the harvest was done we moved again, hoping that we would escape them." He shakes his head. "We never did, but we learned enough of battle and magic that we could fight them off when they came."

    He leans back.

    "Magic… The youth of that day had known ought else, but to the elders it was strange. Perhaps ungodly. They were not ungrateful, but they saw it as a living link to Melmoth. Once our forebears had breathing room, a conclave was held, and an agreement wrought. Some magics would be accepted, some prohibited." He looks at Leonid. "Much as your priests accept some forms and bar others. Different forms of Christian worship draw the lines in different places."

    "Alright, but those weren't beasts. They were proper humanoid Sheeda."

    "Mayhap. Or mayhap a warlock-breed pushed things further than any man should. Melmoth had weapons he took with him into his exile. The most simple ones we-" He draws a pistol and holds it out for a moment before reholstering it. "-copied for ourselves, but many were beyond us, and deadly to those foolhardy enough to attempt to use them. But warlocks become as they are because they push their Sheeda blood further than we dare. 'Tis not unthinkable that they could make use of them."

    "Do you think that is what we fought?"

    "I have never seen a true Sheeda to compare it. Have you?"

    "No. I know only one man who has ever seen them, and we didn't bring him with us."

    "For what reason?"

    "He's an insane criminal scientist who spent years in their homeland. His crimes are many. Bringing him wouldn't have been acceptable to a lot of people." I frown. "But I recognise the beam weapon. It was an entropic ray."

    Mr Yao bows his head slightly. "Is that significant?"

    I shrug. "It's not very common. It's not that powerful for its size and complexity; the only really unique feature it has is that it bypasses certain types of defence. The version I'm familiar with was developed by the Reach, and the Sheeda version looked completely different so I doubt they got it from them."

    Leonid nods. "What does it do?"

    "The Reach were trying to intimidate a species who occupied several systems, but they weren't getting very far; they didn't want to trade and were strongly culturally unified. Their weakness was theological. They were Source-worshippers who believed that only the Source could create or destroy energy. So the Reach developed a 'theologically significant' gun which destroyed energy, flushing it straight into the Bleed." I shrug. "When the Reach demonstrated it, it caused a species-wide religious panic. With their unity fatally undermined, the Reach were able to infiltrate them, and their mini-empire collapsed within a decade."

    "How dangerous is it?"

    "Considering how technologically complex it is, not very. It's more effective against thin but tough armour than it is against sheer mass. It can hurt people like you and if that's the standard Sheeda weapon I'll have to redesign my armour into something more ablative, but it's manageable."

    Mr Yao nods. "I felt the power of my sound being drained away, but I could not tell why. Do you know why we could not detect them?"

    "No. I mean, I'll know to check for an entropic defence of some kind, but those usually aren't that subtle. I'd guess that it was-" I look at Abednego for confirmation. "-magic?"

    "Mayhap. I could not ken it well or true." He shakes his head. "We did not risk taking great quantities of Sheeda wargear with us. I know something of Sheeda creatures but little of the tools their masters used."

    "All the more reason to make contact with the warlock-breed, then."
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2020
  12. Gromweld

    Gromweld Learning By Mistake

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    Is the 'entropy ray' inspired by this (awesome) bit in the Blue Beetle comic? If so, kudos - that's a great fleshing out of a throw-away gag line.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'looks'

    Maybe 'your'
     
  15. Tzeentch

    Tzeentch I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Well, if the energy is being channeled into the bleed it's not so much being "destroyed" as much as changed/relocated outside the universe. I suppose it just depends on your perspective.
     
  16. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I thought Leonid was staunchly atheist from the episode a while back with the Sheeda in the small town, though maybe I'm misremembering.
     
  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Wonder how long it will take him to remember that he lost his one and only available Spell Eater along side his chest to that weapon.
     
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  18. Rebu

    Rebu hey, little Anna, you're the one

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    Something, something, British food joke.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He may still know what the dominant faith in his country thinks on certain matters.

    He may already know that, but is not thinking about it.

    Tao and Adams were carrying backpacks with supplies with them so they most likely have some with them.

    They don't have a subspace pocket and the League has been using magic equipment.
     
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  21. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    As someone's who's been to England, I am not really sure how much worse it could get.

    There are some things you just shouldn't put vinegar on. x3
     
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  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Understandable. Too many bad memories, too many enemies looking for vengeance. So they had their own little exodus.

    Well, let him eat it if he wants. No need to risk your taste buds on it though.

    Now those sound familiar. And is it just me, or do the 'men of water' sound like Chemo the chemical titan?

    Their breeding devices? Because of course he would. Or am I forgetting something. Been a long time since I read the Seven Soldiers stories.

    Reasonable enough. It makes sense that the Columbians, and thus the grundymen, are contaminated enough by Sheeda genes for the control magic used on the Sheeda creatures to affect them too...

    People can justify nearly anything to themselves, given a need for it.

    I'm reminded of several Necromancy greentext stories. The Caretaker and his family, for one. And another i can't remember any name for, where an odd old man, living at the edge of town, has a hidden army made from the bones of the villagers and summons them to defend it. All within the realm of 'good' Necromancy.

    Hmm... While he may be atheist, I doubt he was born and raised that way. Presumably, he knows some of the traditions of the church...

    For a given definition of it, yes. Some would claim otherwise, but most people don't pay attention to those assholes.

    True enough. And that's before you get into other related faiths...

    These days, at least. We'll not talk about the Troubles, thanks.

    So they were driven onwards again and again, until they could stop the assaults. That explains so much about the Witch-Hunters' mindsets.

    Like the Vatican's exorcists and the like, mentioned a long time ago? Makes sense.

    Reaching for more power than their faith allows them, whether out of desire for personal gains or some other great need. All too familiar a story.

    They did break away, what, three hundred years ago, at least?

    Hells, where do you start?

    From the Controller's files, I assume.

    Oh, my god, is Gromweld right?

    That honestly makes sense. Both in the comic version and in this story. Well done, Mr Zoat.

    So, a bit like the Crumbler tech, but more aggressive. No wonder it went through his constructs like smoke.

    Man, if only you'd trained in the early-game skill-tree branch that can deal with Magic. It's not too late to re-spec...:p

    No doubt they're being harassed by the Sheeda. Hopefully.

    Hmm... A few possibilities here. The warlock-breed are being affected by Sheeda attacks as much as the Columbians. They're being ignored because of their more 'unlocked' Sheeda traits. They're (or at least one group of them are) in control of the Sheeda creatures themselves. I suppose we'll see soon, whatever happens.

    Mr Tao bows his head slightly. "Is that significant?"
     
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  23. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    ... that’s a point- he’s extremely used to having spell eaters on hand-And even had an automated macro set to swap them in and out of sub space-
    has he processed that he can’t just replace the one that got blasted and is unwarded/protected from the arcane right now?
     
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  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    His tattoos do provide him with some protection.

    He may have also carried some on his person like how he didn't put his lantern in subspace, and the one on his chest was the only one that was damaged.

    The others may also have extras to give him.

    Tao and Adams were carrying backpacks with supplies in them, maybe there were some extra eaters.
     
  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  26. Xelloss

    Xelloss Know what you're doing yet?

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    I guess if English food was worse than it is today, people would go to Indian restaurants instead of going to... Indian restaurants. ;)
     
  27. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Their undetectability is the current biggest threat.

    If it eworks against magic and colour powered clarke-tech it must be a real doozey.

    Also: Zoat, do the Puritans know the Sheeda are kind of humans?
     
  28. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    To be fair, English food culture was better before two world wars and the rationing they required (and the Labour government in the late 1940s shooting themselves in the foot by extending rationing long past the point where it was needed) ruined everything. Victorian and Edwardian food (for the upper classes) was pretty nice.
     
  29. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm not sure it matters considering they're biologically related.
     
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  30. Ancalador

    Ancalador Know what you're doing yet?

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    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from divinity?

    If they don't know the energy is being shunted to another dimension, then it would look like it was being erased, much like a bleed torsion generator would look like it was creating energy ex nihilo.
     
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