FuzzyZergling
Know what you're doing yet?
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take hold
((Also, as a Canadian, American cheese is fine. I don't like it on sandwiches, but for sauce it's great.))
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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)
- Thread starter Mr Zoat
- Start date
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- Tags
- self insert young justice
((Also, as a Canadian, American cheese is fine. I don't like it on sandwiches, but for sauce it's great.))
Ardy
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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I may be moving to Portugal in the next decade, and if I do, I'm taking a trip to England solely so that I can find Zoat at home, knock on his door, and he'll be culturally required to invite me in for tea. As I love tea and he hates it, he'll also be culturally required to keep a stiff upper lip as he drinks it.
At last, I have conquered Vaermina's greatest foe
Vaermina
Well worn.
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From the sound of it the only American cheese you have ever had is those Kraft Cheese singles.
That's not really American cheese.
Melt the cheese on the burger patty, butter and grill the bun, add lettuce and a dab of mayo below the burger patty, tomato on top of the cheese, then add in your favorite condiments and grilled onions if you're into that.
Mr Zoat
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Yes, but at least you're trying to be generous.
Thank you, corrected.
I suspect that we're talking about different things. This wasn't a baked cheesecake. It was a mixture of mascarpone and chocolate on the biscuit base.
The places where I've gone recently have had an irritating habit of undercooking the chips. The last few times I've taken to sticking them in the oven for a few minutes when I get home.
You're welcome to do that, of course, but I don't keep tea in the house.
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Darko
Connoisseur.
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And yet you still call yourself British.
ForeverShogo
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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Most food snobbery is bullshit from people putting on airs, but some things are true.
If you like cheddar then you like American cheese. At least the real thing. Most of what's on the market isn't the real thing, because sub-standard crap is allowed to be sold as long as you don't call it the real thing. That's why stuff that can't legally be called cheese is instead called a "cheese food" or a "cheese product". Which, as mentioned, is what Kraft Singles and the like tend to be.
The same thing is done with ice cream. If you go to buy ice cream these days, most of what's on the shelves can't legally be called ice cream because it fails to meet the minimum standards so they instead call it "frozen dessert" on the packaging.
A lot of the weird things with American food, when it isn't greedy assholes exploiting the "we'll just call it something slightly different" loophole, is just inertia from how big America is. Like our shitty chocolate or our refrigerated eggs. They're the way they are because they keep longer without going bad, which made it easier to ship across the country. We don't have to do a lot of this anymore, but people are so used to it that most people don't really feel like changing it.
If you like cheddar then you like American cheese. At least the real thing. Most of what's on the market isn't the real thing, because sub-standard crap is allowed to be sold as long as you don't call it the real thing. That's why stuff that can't legally be called cheese is instead called a "cheese food" or a "cheese product". Which, as mentioned, is what Kraft Singles and the like tend to be.
The same thing is done with ice cream. If you go to buy ice cream these days, most of what's on the shelves can't legally be called ice cream because it fails to meet the minimum standards so they instead call it "frozen dessert" on the packaging.
A lot of the weird things with American food, when it isn't greedy assholes exploiting the "we'll just call it something slightly different" loophole, is just inertia from how big America is. Like our shitty chocolate or our refrigerated eggs. They're the way they are because they keep longer without going bad, which made it easier to ship across the country. We don't have to do a lot of this anymore, but people are so used to it that most people don't really feel like changing it.
Vaermina
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A person assuming their way is objectively better when it's only subjectively better however is snobbery.
Duke Long
Glomerulus
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No no, that is the sort I'm talking about. I've only eaten it the once, and I'm not sure if it was specifically mascarpone (don't know nearly enough about cheese to put a name to it), but it was definitely a biscuit base with actual cheese on top.
Ah, that's a shame. Luckily mine tend to be pretty good unless I'm getting them from the local Chinese or Indian (particularly the Chinese, their chips have quite an unpleasant aftertaste).
Someguy Somewhere
The Critical Fumbler
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As another Canadian, I've seen Americans put it on "Poutine" and I feel a sudden urge to go Doom Slayer on the whole country of culinary criminals.
xSieg
Getting sticky.
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I don't understand the correction he did. Did this story happen before your twentieth birthday and OL had to improvise so he could maintain kayfabe?
Mr Zoat
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HappyHappy (part 4)
New
Mr Zoat
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29th August 2013
23:48 GMT -5
Tim prods listlessly at his ketchup blob with a fry. "He-. It's not-." He sighs, not meeting our eyes. "It not.. an injection. It's a patch; you just stick it on. And… When I.. spoke to him? He said he just… Wanted to.. feel things."
"Feel things like..?"
"Well… Ah… It makes you feel an… Emotion."
"I scanned your brain pretty thoroughly; you should be able to feel emotion normally."
He nods morosely. "Yeah. I can."
O-h.
"I.. get it. Anti-Life sucked for everyone. I'm not.. special. Couple of my friends died, but-. Wasn't all of them. My dad made it. But…" He slumps a little. "Our neighborhood got wrecked. Family business? Gone. We're not exactly a priority for rebuilding, which… Sure, I get it. It's not like we're an essential industry or anything. My great-granddad didn't get help when he started it… And that's… Fine, I can put the work in. But the dollar ain't worth shit any more. I had-. Other stuff I wanted to do, and that's… Not happening now. And like I said, I'm not special. I'm not expecting anyone to fly in and fix it for me. But… It was… Hard. And my friends, the ones who survived? They're all…"
He makes a vague 'over there' gesture.
"They've moved, they're working the same hours I am… They're trying to stick their lives back together. Lee isn't going to college, Brae had to move out of state… We don't… See each other-. Hell, for a while we couldn't even call each other. And… The white light we all saw… I felt… Alive, like I didn't have to worry about the Anti-Life… And that was great, except… When it was over… I can't get that feeling back. It's like… I felt this amazing thing, and I know I'm never going to feel that way again."
He shakes his head.
"If it wasn't for the other stuff I probably wouldn't even care, but the other stuff is happening, and I… I do. I'm missing something I didn't even know existed and I only felt for about five seconds. And I'd.. rather feel like this than go back to the Anti-Life -fuck no- but I…"
Artemis nods sympathetically. "You just wanted something that felt good. Like… 'Normal'."
"Yeah." He nods. "I've never… I drink… You know, socially. Smoked cigarettes, gave it up 'cause I didn't like what it did to my sense of smell. Smoked a joint twice in my whole life. I know one guy who ever did coke ever. I don't want you to think I… Like I always need things like this."
I nod. "So how did you..? Get in touch with your supplier?"
He frowns weakly. "Is it even illegal?"
I shrug. "It's not a proscribed drug, specifically, but as we said, the F.D.A. isn't really functioning right now. The stuff you were taking isn't approved for sale or use. The people selling it to you were committing a crime, but you probably weren't."
"Probably?"
"It's magic."
"Is it? I just thought it was.. some kind of neurotransmitter thing…"
"I purged the mundane chemicals from your brain nine times. Each time they reappeared from nowhere."
"Oh."
"I mean, there is a neurotransmitter component, but that doesn't explain how it was doing what it did."
"I don't… I mean, I don't know anything about magic..?"
I shake my head. "No reason why you would. I'm not even sure exactly what it was doing, other than resisting my attempt to remove it."
"Is it..? Like a bad trip? One of those things that happens sometimes? Or was it more like a bad batch? Or were they..? Cutting it with something?"
"Frankly, I have no idea. If I had to guess, it's a novel piece of alchemy and they're still working the bugs out. What did it feel like to you?"
"It felt-." He shifts awkwardly. "Great, actually. I just-. I buy happy. A dose makes me feel happy for about a few hours… Half a day at most. Not… Laughing at everything like I'm drunk or high, just… Feels like I'm having a good time, whatever I'm doing. I'm still me, I still know what's happening, I can still feel other things, but it's… Nice, it takes the edge off whatever else is going on. What I got… That was more intense. Sort of like… What I figured heroin would be like. Everything was great. Everything was fine."
Wallace looks up from the remains of his burger. "Hey… Does that sound like.. Smilex to you?"
"Yes. It does."
"Wait, wait, Smilex?" Tim clenches in fear. "The stuff the Joker used on those killer vines to make people die laughing?
Wallace nods. "Started out as an antidepressant. Side effect was, it doesn't turn off."
I point my burger at Artemis, and then actually try taking a bite before it getsuhhuuuh that's a good burger. Really makes me appreciate improving my sensory acuity.
And Artemis is on the ball. "Which is why we're worried about a OMAC getting it. We really don't need an OMAC Joker."
"Yeah-. Ah, no. Shit. I dunno. I saw him a couple of times talking to our… Our Dealer. Honestly, it-. Made me think maybe it really was a drug trial or something. That's what the guy said it was; some new mood enhancer they got from a lab contact."
Artemis shrugs. "You said the OMAC said he wanted to feel things. Did he say what sort of things?"
"You don't really… You don't chat when you're… Lining up to buy drugs. Only… Thing I really know is… I just bought happy, right?" She nods. "He bought other stuff. The times I saw him, he always had something different. That was why I asked him; it seemed weird. I mean, why would an OMAC do something like that, right?"
"So just..? Feel anything..?"
"I dunno. Maybe he was mixing things at home?" He frowns. "What does..? Being an OMAC..? Actually..? Do to you? I figured it was just some kind of super-injection, but from what he said it sounded like he didn't really… Remember things from before?"
Artemis glances off to the side. "Yeah, Batman doesn't exactly boast about that part of it."
"Ah…" Tim looks to be for confirmation.
"Everyone who volunteers gets told about that, and gets the opportunity to talk to people who have been through it. But as you've observed, some people have had it worse than you."
"Huh."
"Hey, uh." Wallace looks curious. "What emotions did they sell, exactly?"
"Ah, happy, obviously. Angry. Scared. Hopeful. Calm-. I, er, tried that once." He shakes his head. "I didn't like it. You just don't react to stuff like an actual person. Ah, love-."
Artemis nods. "You try that one?"
"No." Tim shakes his head. "It sounded messed up. If you're not in love with someone, what exactly are you supposed to be feeling?
She nods.
"Excitement. I saw a couple of people who look that. That one was like coke, but I guess without messing up your nose? Beyond that, I don't really know. There wasn't a big selection when I started, and once I tried happy I wasn't interested in trying the others." He looks around at us. "So, what happens now?"
"We track the original supplier and review their work. Like I said, what they're doing is a concern because it might be unsafe, and from how the local distributor reacted to us it probably is. If they're really lucky, maybe the distributor was the problem and they can get legitimised."
"But I'm cut off."
"Yes… But... The… White light you felt? That wasn't a unique thing. Doctor Mist of the Justice League uses it full time. Has for millennia. Heck, even I got into the right headspace once, way before I became a superhero. It's difficult, but with enough arcane study there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do the same."
Tim blinks. "Really?"
"Really. So don't despair. There's nothing a person can't accomplish with sufficient effort."
"How?"
"You.. could start with transcendental meditation…"
23:48 GMT -5
Tim prods listlessly at his ketchup blob with a fry. "He-. It's not-." He sighs, not meeting our eyes. "It not.. an injection. It's a patch; you just stick it on. And… When I.. spoke to him? He said he just… Wanted to.. feel things."
"Feel things like..?"
"Well… Ah… It makes you feel an… Emotion."
"I scanned your brain pretty thoroughly; you should be able to feel emotion normally."
He nods morosely. "Yeah. I can."
O-h.
"I.. get it. Anti-Life sucked for everyone. I'm not.. special. Couple of my friends died, but-. Wasn't all of them. My dad made it. But…" He slumps a little. "Our neighborhood got wrecked. Family business? Gone. We're not exactly a priority for rebuilding, which… Sure, I get it. It's not like we're an essential industry or anything. My great-granddad didn't get help when he started it… And that's… Fine, I can put the work in. But the dollar ain't worth shit any more. I had-. Other stuff I wanted to do, and that's… Not happening now. And like I said, I'm not special. I'm not expecting anyone to fly in and fix it for me. But… It was… Hard. And my friends, the ones who survived? They're all…"
He makes a vague 'over there' gesture.
"They've moved, they're working the same hours I am… They're trying to stick their lives back together. Lee isn't going to college, Brae had to move out of state… We don't… See each other-. Hell, for a while we couldn't even call each other. And… The white light we all saw… I felt… Alive, like I didn't have to worry about the Anti-Life… And that was great, except… When it was over… I can't get that feeling back. It's like… I felt this amazing thing, and I know I'm never going to feel that way again."
He shakes his head.
"If it wasn't for the other stuff I probably wouldn't even care, but the other stuff is happening, and I… I do. I'm missing something I didn't even know existed and I only felt for about five seconds. And I'd.. rather feel like this than go back to the Anti-Life -fuck no- but I…"
Artemis nods sympathetically. "You just wanted something that felt good. Like… 'Normal'."
"Yeah." He nods. "I've never… I drink… You know, socially. Smoked cigarettes, gave it up 'cause I didn't like what it did to my sense of smell. Smoked a joint twice in my whole life. I know one guy who ever did coke ever. I don't want you to think I… Like I always need things like this."
I nod. "So how did you..? Get in touch with your supplier?"
He frowns weakly. "Is it even illegal?"
I shrug. "It's not a proscribed drug, specifically, but as we said, the F.D.A. isn't really functioning right now. The stuff you were taking isn't approved for sale or use. The people selling it to you were committing a crime, but you probably weren't."
"Probably?"
"It's magic."
"Is it? I just thought it was.. some kind of neurotransmitter thing…"
"I purged the mundane chemicals from your brain nine times. Each time they reappeared from nowhere."
"Oh."
"I mean, there is a neurotransmitter component, but that doesn't explain how it was doing what it did."
"I don't… I mean, I don't know anything about magic..?"
I shake my head. "No reason why you would. I'm not even sure exactly what it was doing, other than resisting my attempt to remove it."
"Is it..? Like a bad trip? One of those things that happens sometimes? Or was it more like a bad batch? Or were they..? Cutting it with something?"
"Frankly, I have no idea. If I had to guess, it's a novel piece of alchemy and they're still working the bugs out. What did it feel like to you?"
"It felt-." He shifts awkwardly. "Great, actually. I just-. I buy happy. A dose makes me feel happy for about a few hours… Half a day at most. Not… Laughing at everything like I'm drunk or high, just… Feels like I'm having a good time, whatever I'm doing. I'm still me, I still know what's happening, I can still feel other things, but it's… Nice, it takes the edge off whatever else is going on. What I got… That was more intense. Sort of like… What I figured heroin would be like. Everything was great. Everything was fine."
Wallace looks up from the remains of his burger. "Hey… Does that sound like.. Smilex to you?"
"Yes. It does."
"Wait, wait, Smilex?" Tim clenches in fear. "The stuff the Joker used on those killer vines to make people die laughing?
Wallace nods. "Started out as an antidepressant. Side effect was, it doesn't turn off."
I point my burger at Artemis, and then actually try taking a bite before it getsuhhuuuh that's a good burger. Really makes me appreciate improving my sensory acuity.
And Artemis is on the ball. "Which is why we're worried about a OMAC getting it. We really don't need an OMAC Joker."
"Yeah-. Ah, no. Shit. I dunno. I saw him a couple of times talking to our… Our Dealer. Honestly, it-. Made me think maybe it really was a drug trial or something. That's what the guy said it was; some new mood enhancer they got from a lab contact."
Artemis shrugs. "You said the OMAC said he wanted to feel things. Did he say what sort of things?"
"You don't really… You don't chat when you're… Lining up to buy drugs. Only… Thing I really know is… I just bought happy, right?" She nods. "He bought other stuff. The times I saw him, he always had something different. That was why I asked him; it seemed weird. I mean, why would an OMAC do something like that, right?"
"So just..? Feel anything..?"
"I dunno. Maybe he was mixing things at home?" He frowns. "What does..? Being an OMAC..? Actually..? Do to you? I figured it was just some kind of super-injection, but from what he said it sounded like he didn't really… Remember things from before?"
Artemis glances off to the side. "Yeah, Batman doesn't exactly boast about that part of it."
"Ah…" Tim looks to be for confirmation.
"Everyone who volunteers gets told about that, and gets the opportunity to talk to people who have been through it. But as you've observed, some people have had it worse than you."
"Huh."
"Hey, uh." Wallace looks curious. "What emotions did they sell, exactly?"
"Ah, happy, obviously. Angry. Scared. Hopeful. Calm-. I, er, tried that once." He shakes his head. "I didn't like it. You just don't react to stuff like an actual person. Ah, love-."
Artemis nods. "You try that one?"
"No." Tim shakes his head. "It sounded messed up. If you're not in love with someone, what exactly are you supposed to be feeling?
She nods.
"Excitement. I saw a couple of people who look that. That one was like coke, but I guess without messing up your nose? Beyond that, I don't really know. There wasn't a big selection when I started, and once I tried happy I wasn't interested in trying the others." He looks around at us. "So, what happens now?"
"We track the original supplier and review their work. Like I said, what they're doing is a concern because it might be unsafe, and from how the local distributor reacted to us it probably is. If they're really lucky, maybe the distributor was the problem and they can get legitimised."
"But I'm cut off."
"Yes… But... The… White light you felt? That wasn't a unique thing. Doctor Mist of the Justice League uses it full time. Has for millennia. Heck, even I got into the right headspace once, way before I became a superhero. It's difficult, but with enough arcane study there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do the same."
Tim blinks. "Really?"
"Really. So don't despair. There's nothing a person can't accomplish with sufficient effort."
"How?"
"You.. could start with transcendental meditation…"