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Yellow Flash from the Other Side

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Akakiru, Mar 14, 2019 at 6:41 PM.

  1. Akakiru

    Akakiru Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Prologue

    Minato had just finished his hand sign when he suddenly no longer in the battlefield but in a temple.

    Before him was a He was a long, lanky but muscular being with tusks and that looked in part like a skeleton. It wore a bone armor with spines on his back. Body parts were attached as jewelry and a red loincloth attached with eyes and shrunken heads.

    "Are you the Shinigami?" Minato asked confidently because he never saw him for himself.

    "NO MY NAME IS BWONSAMDI LOA OF DEATH. Ruler of Other Side and Necropolis. What ya be asking of death, human?" said the now named Bwonsamdi.

    Minato was shocked. Instead of shinigami, he has summoned himself to another god of death.

    "Bwonsamdi-sama, please, a demon named Kyuubi destroys my village, and I'll give you my soul to seal the beast in my son."

    Bwonsamdi looked through the portal and saw the so-called Demon it was probably a loa of this new world he didn't have fel like all Demons. As the man stood before him and explained, he had looked around in the remembrance of the men before him and liked what he saw.In front of him was a warrior who had killed more than 1000 in one flash.


    "You're gonna make a deal, eh? But I will not take your soul but you will stay here," Bwonsamdi said, "I'll banish the Kyuubi, but everyone will tink he's sealed in ya son."


    "What do you want from me then?" Minato asked uncertainly therefore that the DEATH GOD doesn't take his soul.


    "I saw in your memories that ya were a strong fighter, an ingenious ruler loved and respected by his people," declared Bwonsamdi, but will your subjects respect ya desire to see ya son as a hero?"

    Minato looked at God with his strange playful yet sinister sort of charisma and did not know what to say and asked: "They will respect my wish, I trust my village."


    "Hello, hello, you're gonna make a deal, eh? Bwonsamdi asked with great interest, if they do not fulfill your wish you will serve me alive, lead my armies to battle and war and be my son. The son of Bwonsamdi."

    Minato was gobsmacked and utterly baffled what this death god wanted from him. His wife Kushina is dead. He could not leave his son there if it could be true so he just left one last question left: "Can I take my son with me then?"


    "Of course he will come then, after all, he is then the Legacy of Bwonsamdi," confirms Bwonsamdi and stuck his bony hand with the 3 fingers out for a handshake for the deal. Minato reached out and accepted the deal.


    Bwonsamdi opened a portal so Minato could see what was going on in Konoha. He showed how Sandaime found Naruto and theorized that he is now a jinchuuriki. He ordered his ANBU to call a council meeting. After the declaring that Naruto is a jinchuuriken, the very first started to screams for his death. Bwonsamdi looked at Minato who looked defeated when he saw and heard that:"Please bring him here, I don't care anymore for the deal. Father."



    In Konoha's council chambers all members of the council were assembled and a large group was demanding Naruto's death to slay the Kyuubi. Then everyone was hit by what felt like an sea of killing intent that caused everyone to become weak in the knees. Finally everything was topped off by the appearins of Bwonsamdi in the center of the chamber in all his dark glory.

    Bwonsamdi looked at everyone in the chamber one by one and then he said, " Listen and listen well foolish humans. Naruto Namikaze, son of Minato Namikaze your beloved Leader, who rests in his crib in this room does not carry the Kyuubi. As is stated in the pact I have made with Minato the Kyuubi was Banished of this realm, and he was given to me."

    Bwonsamdi then floated over to where Naruto was sleeping. With a raise of his hand the infant Naruto flew into his arms. Before anyone had time to react, Bwonsamdi and baby Naruto were consumed in shadows as they sank to the floor.


    Bwonsamdi now stood for Minato, Naruto was sleeping in a crib. "How will you make me your son?" Minato asked after he had calmed down. Bwonsamdi had given him time to face the stress and shock of the betrayal of his people.

    Bwonsamdi summoned his staff and knocked him down on the ground where he struck a blue mist that led to minato and naruto. Minato watched as an aura formed around him and the mist filtered into his body. Minato noticed that his teeth, like his ears, were getting pointy like the one of his son's.

    "Ya are know my son and he is my Legacy. Ya now have what a normal troll has Regeneratin, Berserking 'n the power of Voodoo. Ya've got Shadowtravel an' Necromancy from me. explained Bwonsamdi, now come my son there is still much that I have to show ya on da Other Side. But fear not ya have still tat Chakra."











    NOTE
    LEGACY: A
    legacy is any mortal who is a second or further generation descendant of a god, namely the children, grandchild or descendent of a Demigod. All of Minato's and Naruto's future childen will be of the Line of Bwonsamdi.


    LOA: Loa is the name given by trolls to the beings they worship, such as the Wild Gods, and beings such as Kith'ix or G'huun, or spirits like the wisps. Countless loa exist, most weak, but some very powerful. Most are shapeless, whereas others have animal or creature forms.


    Pairing (Maybe don't know how to write it)

    mce-anchor Minato x Princess Talanji or Warduid Loti (Not Married or widowed)


    mce-anchor Naruto he is toddler 2-5 years old = No pairing maybe with Witch Doctah Likola a female Troll Child, as a Fiance or Play dates
     
    Akuma-Heika likes this.
  2. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

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    The TEXT! Black on grey is hard to read man!
     
    Edifier and RichardWhereat like this.
  3. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    Please don't use black.
     
  4. Ashaeron

    Ashaeron Getting sticky.

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    This doesn't read like Bwonsamdi. It's not an accent he puts on, or an act, it's his syntax and his nature. I'd expect it to be a bit of a pain to write him, his syntax is pretty unique even for a troll, because he's very rarely serious, and it allows him a lot more wriggle room in his deals, and allows him to spread both doubt and misinformation, effectively increasing his own bargaining power.

    "Listen, ya silly humans. Naruto, da son of ya beloved leader, he ain't holdin' no foxy ting. 'is fada made a pact, da big angry beastie be gone fa good. Dis one's mine, now."

    Also, I think Wardruid Loti and Hexlord Raal are married, it's an offhand mention somewhere in the quest chain.
     
  5. ArsMagna1337

    ArsMagna1337 (Verified Passer)

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    I read the Other Side as Otter Side. Now I can't think of the Yellow Flash being an Otter Summoner.
     
    fireball900 likes this.