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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Yes, exactly the point -- given that those are included in the Red, then nitpicking on "the Metal" including things that aren't formally metallic seems a bit silly. :p
     
  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I think it was also called the Algorithm, or at least that was what the top intelligence that ran the Metal was called.
     
  4. Jiro

    Jiro Getting sticky.

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    The Super Soldier Formula killed That Which Endures. If that's just another name for Sublime, or if it's similar enough, then he's no longer infected.

    Hyperion was a member of the Squadron Supreme, which was explicitly a JLA analog, so this isn't really pointless (except insofar as having a JLA analog is pointless).
     
  5. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Except he wasn't actually Grayven who travelled through the bleed a restoration to a false self isn't honesty, while Grayven has (for lack of a better word I'm sorry FAQ I did read you) mantled New god of conquest so that for all conceptual purposes he is Grayven as the Truth it isn't honest, while they can be related they aren't the same.

    If he says I am Paul and gains honesty it's proof to the universe he's been fooling that he isn't Grayven.
     
    Wild Transient and Vorian like this.
  6. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So a group of D-listers that no one cares about.
     
  7. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    No.

    Only by radical thaumatic chirurgy.

    No.[/QUOTE]

    ... from memory, didnt the Greeks actually associate hades with wealth/precious metals/gems anyway?

    its been something like a decade since I last did serious research on Greeko-Roman mythology (too many assholes immune to consequences/coasting after being lucky at birth for my own Liking-allways liked the stories of the Aesir more...), but I vaguely remember something about that being one of the compensations for hades drawing the short straw of a position guarantied to make him... rather unloved by mortals (the Greeks had... quite a thing about death culturally)after Kronos was dealt with- possession of “all the riches of the earth” or something similar..
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
  8. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Unless your name is John Constantine, then it's Tuesday.
     
  9. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    To be fair, he’s got a literal upper-G God/god-tier probability warper devoting 80% of their “life”/powers to fucking with probability to fuck John (and his entire timeline) over out of childish pique- does it really count if the net result is essentially “and the world became just a little more fucked up” each and every time?
     
    dogbertcarroll, Darko and Vorian like this.
  10. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    They asserted that those riches beneath the earth belonged to the underworld. Hades wasn't a god with the power over those things; they were just his material possessions.
     
  11. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    Ah! Thank you for the correction!
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Plus Erebos isn't so much under the ground as it is in another dimension
     
  13. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Depends on who you talk to. At least some adherents to the ancient Greek religion believed that the underworld was literally under the world.
     
    Gantradies likes this.
  14. Amrynel

    Amrynel Wat.

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    For some reason I can't get the imagery of Grayven!Paul cosplaying as Jack Sparrow out of my head.
     
  15. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    "you cheated!"
    *touches nose* "Apokolyptican!"
     
  16. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Know what you're doing yet?

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    "You're the most despicable man i've ever heard of!"
    "But you have heard of me?"

    Captain jack grayven is a fun idea.
     
  17. quietwhile

    quietwhile Getting out there.

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    You mean like a lot of christians believe that heaven is both another dimension AND upwards/above the clouds?
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  18. Threadmarks: Equestrian Girls (part 18)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Because
    why not


    Fortunately we both have wings, so while the initial surprise results in us dropping quite a way we both unfurl our natural parachutes and by the time we land on solid ground we're both fully under control.

    "Any idea what that was supposed to achieve?"

    "Neigh, we do not." Luna and I look around. "And this room doth not exist in Our Palace."

    Well, I should hope not. It looks like a Dungeon Keeper's treasure vault in here. Piles of coins of various denominations… They look Wilsonian, so I'm going to assume that they're taken from Luna's memories. There are gem stones as well, and decorative ornaments which use them to contrast the colour of the precious metals that make up most of their mass. One or two paintings with regal-looking ponies and griffins and… One of a dragon.

    "This place is a monetarist's nightmare. Why would-?"

    "It is another distraction. We must-."

    "It's home. For now."

    A stallion with a purple pelt and golden mane and tail walks between the piles, smiling as he sees us. His cutie mark is an upended amphora, coins cascading from the opening.

    "Though you're quite right, Prince Grayven. My banker has a fit whenever he sees it."

    "Prince?"

    "That statue earlier? He's the ruler of the planet Apokolips. I'm his son."

    "And he cursed you with-?"

    "It's a gift, including me in his grand project to eliminate selfhood. A rare favour."

    "And you're so ungrateful to him." The stallion shakes his head. "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is. And you, Luna-."

    "You would name him 'prince' and yet deny Us Our rightful title?"

    "A pity-prize granted you by Princess Celestia. Equestria doesn't really need you, as you know well."

    "Yes. We do. Though that shall not prevent Us from placing Ourself in its service. We shall earn Our place once more."

    I nod approvingly. "Good attitude. I'll help."

    "I can as well."

    "We doubt that."

    "Oh, but I can. You see, each of the five of us want different things, and… Not all of those desires are best fulfilled by working together."

    "Who are you, and what do you want?"

    "Now we're getting somewhere. I'm Spoiled Prince, the most generous of us all. You.. want to get out of here with your minds and souls in one piece and I'm happy to help."

    "We are somewhat sceptical. What are you?"

    "Generosity. More or less. I would happily give away all that I have, and ask nothing in return but to be thought well of. And what I have for you is information."

    "The first of you We encountered. The knight."

    "Forsaken Vanguard. Our Illustrious Overlord told him to go, so he went. That's what he is."

    "He is loyalty, then."

    I snort. "He's mindlessly obedient. That's it, isn't it? You're the Elements with parts missing. Forsaken Vanguard can't… What, can't disobey, can't use his own judgement?"

    "Our Illustrious Overlord doesn't care about us, obviously. It sends us out without much caring if we can do what it wants."

    "Oh, I see. No one who treats those loyal to them that way deserves that loyalty. Having faith in the faithless is inherently self-destructive, which in turn undermines the appeal and value of loyalty."

    "Yes, you see, it's rather sophisticated-."

    "It's irrelevant. Luna, what do you hate?"

    "We have always endeavoured to rise above-."

    "Hehhahhahhahhah!"

    "Oh.. dear."

    Luna turns her head towards the sound. "Who is that?

    "Broken Jester. He can keep laughing through any problem… But I'm not sure that laughter is what you need at the moment."

    I snort. "Fine. You want to survive. What is your offer?"

    "Our Illustrious Overlord won't let Luna leave. It can't; it literally exists to make her miserable. But I can. If you let me I can trot out of here into the dreams of another. I can alert whomsoever you wish. And then it would be a simple matter to alert Princess Celestia or have Prince Grayven conveyed to the Tree of Harmony to have any left within him purged."

    "But thou wouldst be safe."

    "Ain't that a gag?!"

    The Broken Jester stumbles into sight. And I do mean 'stumbles'. His legs are badly burned and trembling and he appears to be having trouble moving them properly. Which is the least of his problems. His eyes have been gouged out, and the remains of his eyes are smeared around their orbits. He's also carrying some sort of wound in his abdomen…

    Eyes. And abdomen. And burns.

    "Luna, you're better at dream navigation than me." I scoop up the closest coin and hold it out to her. "What is this connected to?"

    "It is simply-." She blinks. "A.. coin I saw upon one of the stands on the night of my return. It is literally-."

    I scoop up another as Spoiled Prince scowls.

    "And this one?"

    "It was on the top of the coins in the chest given to us by Chief Æthelgriff by means of reparations. And-" She looks aside. "-this was next to it, and this…"

    "Broken Jester is showing some of my more serious injuries. They're taking bits from us to make themselves."

    "If they can do that… Granting him access to other dreams would-."

    "How perceptive! Yes, yes, we'd strip them of every memory until we were strong enough to enter the real world. But oh well. We already have enough from you to-."

    A coin pile to our left explodes as Twisted Caretaker leaps out, dozens of-. Ow, suddenly sharpened metal discs bite into my face and armour.

    "Surprise! We're going to empty everyone out slowly, and I'll hold them and stroke their manes as their minds collapse!"

    Behind us, a pile of coins is shoved aside, the Forsaken Vanguard wading into position with shield and halberd at the ready.

    "I do as I am-"

    The Elements of Harmony.

    "-bid."

    "You're actually compatible with the Elements of Harmony, aren't you? You could make a run at the Tree."

    Another pile slides aside to reveal Yelling Fool.

    "That's what I was told!"

    Spoiled Prince smiles at his fellows.

    "I could hardly deny them their ambition. And don't all ponies want to become more virtuous?"

    "Luna-."

    "In fact…"

    Their eyes light up and rainbow lights dance around them.

    "Didn't you want to be exposed to the Elements?"
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
  19. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Uh oh. Nega-Rainbow Lazors.

    Though me thinks the Tree might object to this.
     
  20. Istaran

    Istaran Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well done, Zoat. Up until now I didn't know what to think of the creepy dream ponies and they just sort of quietly were there.. But this.. I've got shivers from the creepfest. Beautifully done.
     
  21. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Yeah, kind of expected that. Hard for falling to be a threat to anyone with wings.

    It was a symbolic movement sequence. You were somewhere, now you're somewhere else...

    Huh, someone has odd tastes.

    And another one? What's that make? Six?

    Huh, someone who actually recognises Grayven's title. That's not good.

    "He has strange tastes."

    Well, technically...

    ...Yes. Equestria must have been in a flap about what Kuna's status as Princess meant now. They've been ruled by a single Princess for a millenium. What does a second one mean? Do they rule together? Take turns? Will Luna go somewhere to rule there? I can imagine the concern in the upper nobility.

    Yeah, they don't want whatever help you're offering...

    Fascinating. Almost like a dark mirror of...

    Just as long as he can follow in their wake? How mercenary.

    I see. He values nothing of what he has, so giving it away means nothing to him. What sort of generosity is that?

    Blind loyalty. Unreasoning obedience.

    Much like what Darkseid does with the Lowlies, and even His soldiers.

    It's horrifying, that's what it is...

    Not 'Politely dislike', Luna. Hate with all your being.

    Crud, more of them turning up. That can't be good.

    Again: "What do you want?" I can tell that's going to be a running joke here.

    And running loose about the minds of Equestria. I'd say that'll be a hard 'No'.

    Wait, those injuries...

    He caught it too...

    Yeah, your fortune is stolen, isn't it? No wonder you're so generous, spending other people's money.

    It's all stolen, isn't it? Not the money, the Ponies.

    Yep. None of them can be allowed to leave. They'd destroy the world just because they can.

    And twisted Kindness. She's going to take care of you, all right. Even if she has to hurt you herself...

    And foolish Loyalty.

    Elements twisted into cursed, mad reflections. Truly insidious.

    Honesty. Cruel, unthinking honesty with no concern for the harm it causes.

    But... There's one missing, isn't there?

    Not these elements. I wouldn't be surprised if the Tantaquation is acting as the sixth element.

    Well, done, Mr Zoat. Well done indeed. This turned from a simple vision quest into a twisted battle for the safety of Equestria. It'll be interesting to go back and read the Dark Elements' appearances, with this in mind.
     
  22. Enochi

    Enochi Having way to much fun with AI.

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    Well ain't that interesting. Very similar to what RHjunior mentioned in Audience on how his character would deal with the elements by ramping up their virtues into vices.

    Loyalty into Fanaticism
    Kindness into Smothering
    Generosity into Self-Destruction
    Honesty into Tactlessness
    Laughter into Ludicrous
    and Friendship into Co-dependency

    So which of these fakes are which again might be getting some mixed up.

    Twisted Caretaker is Kindness
    Spoiled Prince is Generosity
    Broken Jester is Laughter
    Forsaken Vanguard is Loyalty
    Yelling Fool is Honesty?
    Was Friendship mentioned yet or no?
     
  23. Diraniola

    Diraniola I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Spoiled Prince mentioned an Illustrious Overlord in this chapter that was suspiciously capitalized. Also, I thought the 6 the element was magic?
     
  24. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Getting farther and father away from that Honesty Gem, aren't you Grayven.
     
  25. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Darkseid acknowledged the renegade as his son. Whether as a replacement for Grayven 16 or for his own amusement we don’t know. Technically a true statement.
     
  26. Jack of Olives

    Jack of Olives Knows just enough to be dangerous.

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    Terrible, but not particularly Harmonious. Maybe the 'Elements of Disfunctionality'?
     
  27. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    Illustrious Overlord - who cares nothing for them.
    Friendship into Exploitation.
     
  28. Gforce1000

    Gforce1000 Jibbering, Jabbering

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    Friendship is Magic.
     
  29. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    What’s the total word count at right now?
     
  30. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    From context pretty sure this is the opposite meaning of the word you meant to use.
    wouldst
     
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