1. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2019
    Messages:
    416
    Likes Received:
    1,553
    One of the problems is that 'mantled' doesn't mean anything, in common usage; only gamers familiar with one particular game 'mythology' might know it. You could use something like (took on the) 'aspect', which is a term that's been around a lot longer, and is in wider use...

    Of course, you need to remember that I may have no idea what I'm talking about. :)
    ("Culture? Isn't that something that grows in petri dishes?" :) )
     
  2. Doccer

    Doccer Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2019
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    245
    Fortunately we both have wings, so while the initial surprise results in us dropping quite a way we both unfurl our natural parachutes and by the time we land on solid ground we're both fully under control
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  4. Phrexia Unbound

    Phrexia Unbound Oooh...that's good.

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2017
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    662
    "Friendship=Exploitation"
     
  5. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2018
    Messages:
    1,748
    Likes Received:
    5,375
    It’s a little more than that, since “mantling” is more like taking on the being / existence than just an aspect. The being being mangled is in effect “reincarnated” as the mantle.
     
    Alexandercctv likes this.
  6. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    432
    Not as such. Regardless of how it came about Darkseid and the Renegade regard one another as father and son.

    SI isn’t lying when he claims to be the Illustrious of the Orange Lanterns, despite having made up the position only a few months ago.
    Renegade isn’t lying when he claims a family connection to Darkseid, despite only having been acknowledged as his son a few months ago.

    What is true, changes.
    What is honest, is opinion.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    1,991
    Likes Received:
    7,989
    Paragon did not make up the position of Illustres, the GLC already has one and technically as the most skilled wielder of the orange light he qualifies for the position
     
  8. DrThoth

    DrThoth Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    933
    Like a few other posters mentioned, I did go back to reread the whole vision quest now that it was more clear what the evil dream-ponies actually were, and the clarity really helps.

    I did watch the Nightmare Moon arc, though not much else of FiM, so I'm slightly confused as to whether Harmony (the gestalt concept or effect of all six Elements) is the same thing as Friendship, or Friendship and Magic are just two equal names for Twilight's element. From some wiki trawling, I also know the Elements have similar counterparts in the Pillars' virtues, which corresponds Twilight's Magic to Star-Swirl's trait of Sorcery, and the latter doesn't seem to have any friendship-related connotations (but I haven't actually seen media he's in, so I might just have missed it).

    Regarding the whole truth/Honest mini-debate, I do think truthfulness isn't the same as Honesty; the Fae from Dresden Files come to mind here, with their technical truths usually accompanied by the intent to decieve.
     
  9. Idkusername

    Idkusername Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2019
    Messages:
    432
    Likes Received:
    2,493
    Right, I’m not sure if Mr Zoat just missed my message, or if he couldn’t be arsed to go and check, in which case I can’t really blame him, but just to be sure, I’’ ask again.
    Mr Zoat, what’s the word count right now?

    Also, and this is to the rest of the community as well, and somewhat off-topic, but what would be the best way to enclose images in my messages? Would uploading them to Google Drive and using a spoiler bracket to house them work? Would I need some other hosting site, because no one I’ve seen uses google drive on this site. (They’re a lot of images, so I can’t hyperlink them). I’m asking because I’m going to try to write a fanfic of my own.

    Speaking of, I’ve decided to set it in Gotham, so where would it be best for me to look for advice on the lore? Both the city and the DC universe in general.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  10. Me. Joka-r

    Me. Joka-r Getting some practice in, huh?

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2020
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    8
    Could anyone tell me what exactly transpired here......?
     
    DrThoth likes this.
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    I didn't answer because how the heck would I know?
    I use ImgBB.
     
  12. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    474
    Likes Received:
    1,852
    Contrary to the usual correction: the semicolon should be a comma.

    Closer, but still not "wouldst". It's not a contraction of anything.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  14. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    May 10, 2017
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    3,075
    [​IMG]
     
  15. Jack of Olives

    Jack of Olives Knows just enough to be dangerous.

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2014
    Messages:
    761
    Likes Received:
    5,568
    Sure thing.

    Basically: the Elements of Harmony are empowered by/part of a magical tree known as the Tree of Harmony that's (as far as what's been explained) the source of Harmony magic (aka. Plot-Device/Deus-Ex-Machina magic) in Equestria. It let's its power be used by people who exemplify it's aspects (Generosity, Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter, & Friendship/Magic). Notably the main cast of the show.

    When Luna contacted Grayven in his dreams, the Tantabus (which is basically a dream-demon created by Luna to give herself nightmares in a fit of self-destructive guilt) fused with the shard of the Anti-Life Equation. The new entity (using the combined knowledge of Luna and Grayven) created twisted beings of Anti-Life who technically embody the aspects of Harmony, with the goal of corrupting the Tree of Harmony with the essence of the Anti-Life Equation, and thus corrupting the planet's thaumic field. But in order to do so, they need to be able to leave the realm of dreams, which they can if they become strong enough (like the Tantabus almost did in canon).

    Someone let me know if I missed anything, or got something wrong.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
    Me. Joka-r, Ngamer11, MasterG and 8 others like this.
  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,373
    Likes Received:
    3,512
    Universal force of Honesty.

    You don't get to play word games, you don't get to use technical truths, you have to be purely and unabashedly honest.
     
  17. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2018
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    252
    problem is, what started as a lie has become the truth because of a metaphysical awakening into a god state, he wasn't always grayven, but he sure as fuck is now, and feels that way even to Darkseid himself. so it's still honesty, he just didnt used to be grayven.
     
  18. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    1,338

    You didn't tag him and one sentence post are easy to miss.

    In regards to your question this fic had over two million words when it was still hosted in SV (and i mean not long after the SB exile), so considering how long ago that was and a rate of around 1,200 words per update on average (365 days a year) that it should have this fic being way over three million words by now, maybe four million words.

    If you want the exact numbers you can count them yourself, if you want recommendations in regards what episodes are plot heavy and/or good, and what episodes can be safely skipped that is a whole different thing.


    Edit: Using simple math, the average update length and that Zoat has... (i think) posted an update per day (delayed by bans and thread closures, but an update per day is mostly true), will get you almost four million words (give or take a hundred thousand) or over four million words... No wait a few are double updates due to the queen of Fables shenanigans episode... But i guess its a margin of error.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
    Ngamer11 and DAT_NOOB like this.
  19. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,373
    Likes Received:
    3,512
    Again, universal force of Honesty.

    Hiding part of the truth isn't being honest.
     
    DAT_NOOB likes this.
  20. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    1,312
    It might be the Truth but it isn't Honest
    He isn't hiding part of the Truth he is Grayven but he is was first paul therefore when he says "I am Grayven" it's true but dishonest when he says "I am Paul" it's false but Honest
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  21. Frank Iannetta

    Frank Iannetta Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    11
    It would be interesting if the anti-ponies attack Grayven and begin to pull him under, making him relive the first time the ALE fragment overwhelmed him. He then honestly admits to being afraid of losing his daughter, his friends, everything he has worked towards, which gives him the final piece he needs for Harmony. Luna, upon seeing the Tantabus-ALE, finally becomes angry that she will lose all she has gained since her return, and gets her final piece. Then...they get to eat some nice apples.
     
  22. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    1,038
    I like this scenario, but I fear we'll get something much bleaker.
     
    Jormuungaand likes this.
  23. Threadmarks: Equestrian Girls (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    I feel insufficiently levelled
    for this boss encounter


    "Deluded villain, that will not work! You have not the spark! None of you represent the perversion of friendship itself!"

    Except… That the belief that any interaction with others results in pain for all involved isn't a terrible description of-.

    The beams of light I once hoped would have purged me leap from the five Bearers and meet in the air above us. The beams are weak and wavering, but I-.

    I can feel it.

    "They're going to break it out of the maze, and it's going to be their sixth."

    "Can we stop it?"

    I look at her, as the sphere of darkness the Bearers are generating grows larger.

    "Luna, all joking aside… I am the Apokoliptian New God of Conquest. Nothing offends me more than inefficient government. If you are concerned about your ability to function in modern Equestria, then I'm happy to help you find a place… To learn whatever skills you need, to help you get whatever knowledge you need."

    "Dost thou believe then that aiding Us will convince Us to permit you to mount Us?"

    "Luna, I'm twice as tall as you. I wouldn't mount you so much as stand over you. But no; it's a special talent thing. I want to help you become a more effective ruler far more than I want to copulate with you."

    "Then… We suppose that having seen the nature of this 'Anti-Life Equation', We can see why thou wert so insistent."

    "Colleagues-with-an-option-on-friendship-later?"

    She smiles very faintly. "As you-"

    The ball of light flows into a near-equine shape. Four legs and a central torso, but the head is a blank cone with a yellow-orangeHole. Around the hole are.. dots of a darker orange, and on its rump is a inky blur of a tail.

    "-say." Her face falls. "It.. is…"

    I nod. "That's just a fragment. Combined with your Tantabus."

    Four of the Bearers slump to the ground, while Forsaken Vanguard slowly forces himself to trudge towards his abominable master.

    "If they could bring it here with five elements, mayhap we could banish it with five?"

    No. No, that won't work. I can't for the life of me work out what she's hiding her anger for, but…

    I'm going to have to-.

    "Life = Pain."

    I'm.. going to have to tell her, to say it, to give myself away.

    I'm… Afraid of doing it. I might have just.. built it up in my mind, and… Realistically there's no way that Darkseid doesn't know already…

    I glance at Luna just as she's glancing at me, and I get a momentary flash of intuition that she's thinking along similar lines.

    "I'm not-." / "We feel-."

    A sound… A moan? A scream? Like.. the end of the universe, like desolation and reality itself falling away. The treasure chamber fails and fades into the black, small spheres of colour shielding the Bearers and floating them into position around the Fragment.

    And then it look at us, sees everything that's ever hurt us, thinks of us as receptacles for our pain, then fires the Elements at us.

    The black-tinged rainbow strikes us both, and I feel it as I start to decay, the black burrowing into my skin and psyche.
    There's a weak glow from the gems attached to my armour, but I only have four and that's not enough! I need-!

    "I'm not actually Grayven! Something stopped me being able to use my actual name and I.. didn't worry about it until the Forever People mistook me for someone called Grayven and I played along to try and get access to their technology! I actually-."

    I look down at my body and I'm not.. completely surprised to see that I've regained the form I had when I first arrived on Earth 16. Pyjamas and all.

    "Yes, I looked like this, and everything's rather gotten away from me since. I think I'm coping and I'm sure that Darkseid would have turned his attention to Earth before too long anyway, but I've got no idea whether I'm actually ahead on the deal or not and I'm constantly scared that my worst case scenario is happening all around me and I'm just not seeing it!"

    There's a flash of orange and the oncoming blackness is pushed back a little, but it's still only five to-.

    "Celestia!"

    I look around desperately.

    "Where?!"

    "Before Our banishment-" The strands of black wrap around Luna's neck. "-We desperately resented her greater popularity and her easy way with Our ponies. And when We came back, everything was so strange and she was so.. different, and she fit in and We.. sometimes felt that same anger We did before. And We felt terrible about it but then she returned to her duties and We only saw the only pony We know for a few hours each day and there is no place for Us here! We love her but she makes Us so angry and We feel so guilty because she has done so much to aid Us!"

    There's a red flash as the two-lines-and-a-circle form of the Red Lantern sigil appears on her barding.

    "It's been a thousand years-"

    Whole sections of reality-. No, that's just the black threads covering my eyes. I can't.. see.

    "-and she doesn't understand. If you can't talk to her about it then let me help!"

    Oh.

    A hurricane of light surrounds both of us. My gems of red, pink, purple, orange, blue and green spin around us, the black lines covering our bodies being evaporated and the baleful rainbow from the Anti-Life creature being held at bay. Luna's sigils lift off her peytral and drift forwards, lighting up in turn and then firing, their coloured beams merging just ahead of her and the resulting white beam lancing forward!

    The Anti-Life creature doesn't move as the beam reaches it.

    "Life = Pain."

    It's corny, but… Ah, who am I kidding?

    "Friendship = Magic." / "Friendship = Magic!"

    The beam hits and the Anti-Life creature melts and burns while its five helpers become translucent, spreading out as the stolen thoughts and memories that make them up return to their owners. And with them gone, Luna and I are left alone in the void.

    "Huh."

    "It has been some time since We hath used such a device."

    "I've never used such a device. Did it feel like.. bits of your brain were being hotwired?"

    "We have no idea what that phrase means… But We suspect so."

    "Right." I fly over to her, dropping down so that I can look her directly in the face. Then I wrap my arms around her neck and press the left side of my face against the right side of hers. "Don't you ever make something like that Tantabus again, do you hear me?"

    "We will not. Might We prevail upon you to conduct yourself with greater patience and forbearance in future?"

    "I'll-."

    I was going to say 'I'll see what I can do', but…

    "Yes. I will."

    I pull back, and for the first time in over a year smile with my own face.

    "I'll see you in the morning."
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2020
  24. Silverias

    Silverias Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    332
    The whole episode for this one fucking line.

    Don't you lie and try to deny it.
     
  25. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2016
    Messages:
    1,668
    Likes Received:
    7,797
    It's so corny, but that was so godsdamned worth it.
     
    Jaron, zerofarad, Massgamer and 44 others like this.
  26. Darko

    Darko Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    1,991
    Likes Received:
    7,989
    Corny beyond belief, but who doesn't love corn.

    Now after what i hope is one alternate chapter we finally get a villain song:D
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    It's more of an anti-hero song, really. Those are rarer.
     
  28. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2018
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    252
    so less of a "HELLFIRE" and more of an "I AM" song?
     
  29. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    4,056
    Likes Received:
    7,915
    I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. I have brought great dishonor upon my family. Very good though. It’s interesting wondering if Friendship=Magic is part of the MLP universe’s own Life Equation or if there’s only one LE and it’s a fragment of the part that is abbreviated to Love=Truth the same way Life=Despair is a fragment of Life=Death. Or I could be talking out my ass.
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    6,391
    Likes Received:
    214,299
    I imagine that the music sounds a little like 'Be Our Guest'.

    Also, while I know that 'Hellfire' comes from Hunchback of Notre Dame, I don't know where 'I Am' comes from.
     
Loading...