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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Albus only started to suspect that Harry was a horcrux late in the game. He didn't even realise Voldie used Horcruxes until the second book. So, no.

    Also, Albus explicitly did not believe in prophecy.

    Do me the courtesy of actually reading the books and understanding the timeline.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2020
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  2. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Maybe I've missed this detail, but is Grayven due an "Arrived on Wilson" Pinkie Party?

    Or, is this a case of "ponies should be scene but not herd"? :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2020
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  3. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Whoosh
    I didn't mention sports, I specifically said 'get jacked' in reference to an increase in size and muscle mass.
    You can take drugs that will make you stronger and bigger in an easy way which is why using them to increase size and strength is cheating. (for the purposes of this argument I did not refer to sports but for the cause of gaining muscle mass for its own sake)
    Now in relation to what sunset is doing she is using drugs magic to enhance her strength magical potential and change her form.
    Still cheating

    That's fair like I said I'm not familiar enough with the magic lore of MLP to know about this stuff
     
  4. desolatedsabers

    desolatedsabers Know what you're doing yet?

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    i mean, you're kind of forgetting something. Steroids wear off. and also have addictive properties. Becoming an alicorn via a different method would still just give the same results as emotional enlightenment or whatever. so they'd still have to stay on top of their own mental state to not go wacko, same as normal ones, and would probably develop at around the same rate. it's not explicitly cheating but more "Well you did it this way, but i found another way that gives the same result." it's less cheating and more being pragmatic. if you can achieve the exact same results via a different method, then it's still just as viable as the other method. if it has drawbacks, then it's not.
     
  5. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Not sure if the analogy works or not, but to me it sounds like the "peak human condition" that Captain America and Batman have. Whatever they say, those "peak human conditions" are bullshit and sound more like Atlas superpower, but whatever, it's comic books. However Batman supposedly got his "peak human condition" training, while Captain America got his "peak human condition" with the Super Soldier Serum.

    Maybe the serum is cheating, I personally wouldn't call it so because developing the serum took time and effort, even if it wasn't Steve that made it and even if it wasn't the same level of time and effort that Bruce supposedly made to train himself. But at the end of the day both ended up with bullshit level of physical abilities.

    The Sword of Beowulf, in the YJ canon and in this fic, works for anybody that is pure of heart; even with its grotesque appearance I imagine that whomever designed the enchantment on that intended for it to be somebody like Captain Marvel, somebody with a good, pure heart. But the idiot of Harm still managed to make his heart pure, by killing his sister and going full edge-third-person-lord, so at the end of the day he managed to use the Sword as well!

    If the only acceptable way to become an Alicorn was through whatever friendship enlightenment bullshit, then it sounds to me as if Cadance (think that's her name?) cheated as well as her baby Alicorn or they shouldn't be Alicorns at all, unless it gets proven that they went through the same friendship enlightenment bullshit. If not, then Alicornism is just an ascension/transformation, and all the study and hard work that Sunset invested in finding a way to get that ascension is as valid as, I don't know, being born an Alicorn or whatever.
     
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  6. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

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    Touche.

    Somehow I suspect Pinkie would rather throw him a going away party.
     
  7. Threadmarks: Equestrian Guise (part 14)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Equestria
    Afternoon


    Twilight turns her head-. Whaw pony necks are flexible. Turns her head back to glare at me.

    "And you weren't going to introduce us?"

    "Well-."

    Princess Cadance flaps her wings and passes neatly over Twilight before landing just inside the room. "Hello, I'm-."

    "Mi. Amore."

    Cadance spots Sunset, her eyes widening and her body tensing.

    "Cadenza."

    Twilight pivots on the spot at the sound of discord, and goes into friending mode. "Sunset was just telling me that you two knew each other?"

    Sunset grits her teeth for a moment. "Yes. Yes we did."

    Cadance cringes. "I… Didn't know you were back?"

    "Clearly."

    Cadance backs up slightly and misjudges the angle, her haunches hitting the wall rather than going back through the door. As Sunset gets closer Cadance falls onto her haunches with a nervous grimace of a smile on her face, Sunset gritting her teeth and grinding them in what would be a bad idea for a human. But I guess it's fine for equine teeth? Or maybe becoming an alicorn fixes dental issues?

    "M'm rryeh."

    Cadance blinks. "Ah..? Pardon?"

    "I'm-. Sorry."

    Sunset breathes heavily, the glare of her eyes not quite matching her words. Though it does match their tone.

    "You're… Sorry?"

    The teeth grit again. "Yes. I'm.. sorry for how I treated you when we were living together."

    "Oh, that's alri-."

    Sunset raises her right forehoof. "No. No. No it's not."

    "Okay?"

    Sunset lowers her hoof. "I was-." She takes a look at Cadance's face and sags slightly. "And I'm scaring you again. And this time I'm not even trying to." She shakes her head and backs up a little in the hope that Cadance will feel secure enough to stand. When that doesn't work she shakes her head sadly and trudges back to the blackboard.

    "Cadance?" Twilight looks curiously at her former foalsitter. "You.. knew Sunset Shimmer? You never mentioned her?"

    "I… No. Um. Yes. She was living at the palace when Princess Celestia first brought me here. I didn't-."

    "It's fine." Sunset turns around dejectedly. "Magic is my special talent, the same as yours. I doubt Cadenza wanted you to turn out like I did."

    "Why? What happened between you two?"

    "I wanted to learn magic. Celestia wanted me to learn civics. We argued, and Celestia -in her wisdom- decided that the best way to convince me she was right was to show me my future in Starswirl's mirror. I saw myself as a powerful alicorn."

    "So you were jealous? You thought Cadance was trying to take your place?"

    Sunset shakes her head. "Cadenza wasn't living in the palace at that point. But after that I spent all my time studying alicorns, trying to work out how the transformation worked... I spent months on that and didn't find anything. I bugged Celestia to tell me how it worked and got nowhere. In the end I started to think that I'd-" She glances at the blackboard again with a rueful smile. "-need to work it out from scratch all by myself. Which was.. fine. I like doing magical experiments."

    "And then Cadenza happened."

    Twilight frowns. "What do you mean 'happened'?"

    With Sunset a safe distance away, Cadance gets back to her hooves. "I ascended. I didn't plan-."

    "Oh, I know you didn't. I finally worked out how you did it, and if you never want to sleep again I'll show you my calculations for what would have happened if you'd been standing an inch to the left when the amulet exploded."

    Twilight looks from Cadance to Sunset. "So you were.. envious?"

    "A little. But when I met her she was so clearly clueless-" Twilight frowns a little. "-that it didn't really last. I just wanted her to give me as much information about what happened as she could so I could add a first hoof account to my data. And she wouldn't."

    "Oh." Twilight looks at Cadance. "Why.. not..?"

    "Because-."

    "Because Celestia told her not to." Sunset shakes her head. "I can't believe I didn't work it out sooner."

    "Aunt Celestia was worried about you! You were becoming obsessed! Everything was about becoming an alicorn!"

    "And it didn't stop just because you were withholding information from me!" Sunset gives a humourless chuckle. "The funny thing is, telling what happened probably wouldn't have helped me all that much. All it would have done is made me stop hating you for obstructing me." She sags. "Because I couldn't bring myself to hate the mare actually responsible." She tosses her mane and straightens up a little. "So, yeah, I'm sorry for all the things I did to try and make you tell me. And now I'm putting the blame firmly where it belongs."

    Twilights right ear twitches in a way which probably conveys all sorts of meaning to other ponies. "So… You've realised that your obsessive behaviour was self-destructive and you've come to apologise to everypony you offended and repair your old friendships?"

    "No. I've come to prove that I was right all along."

    Twilight frowns. "Ah-?"

    "And that Celestia was wrong."

    Twilight gasps in absolute horror!

    I nod. "Yeah, I just got back from talking to Celestia. You… Kind of lost your temper, there."

    "I know, I know." She sighs. "She just did it again!"

    "I think she was trying to be nice."

    "How is she this bad at it?!"

    "A thousand years of ponies not wanting to get sent to the moon?" Cadance stares at me, her eyes wide. "Too soon?"

    "Nopony's afraid of Aunt Celestia! I'm sure-" She turns her head towards Sunset. "-that she didn't mean whatever it was that made you so angry."

    "Is it better that she's massively condescending by accident?"

    Cadance starts to answer, hesitates to consider the question, then nods confidently. "Yes, it is. Because it means that she didn't do it deliberately to drive you away, and the fact that she's still reaching out to you shows that she really does want to improve your relationship." She takes a hesitant step towards Sunset. "The question is, do you?"

    "I…" Sunset slumps. "Yes? I just-. I've spent a lot of time thinking about why I left, and I-. I know I could have handled it better. But so could she! I need her to.. acknowledge that, or something. And not just a generic 'I'm sorry you feel that way' thing, I need her to actually get what she did wrong." She huffs. "Maybe I'll go talk to her again before I ascend. But right now I just want-. Twilight, could you get on the-?"

    "Celestia was wrong?!"
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
  8. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Well worn.

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    "This video is no longer available because the youtube account associated with it has closed."
     
  9. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    Relyt33, Wheenesss and RichardWhereat like this.
  10. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    You beat me to it by a hair, I shouldn't have taken the time to check it on another browser.
     
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  11. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

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    Does Celestia remember how to be wrong? It's probably been a while since she tried.
     
  12. gustyeagle

    gustyeagle Know what you're doing yet?

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    probably something like this
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2020
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  13. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Maybe not a playlist set to automatically go to the next video when the one you're linking is less than a second.
     
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  14. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You poor indoctrinated soul:(
     
  15. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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  16. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    This is the internet, so I'm not even surprised that this playlist is a thing. What shocks me is that a playlist tuitled "Gasping Twilight and her friends" is SFW enough to be hosted on YouTube
     
  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Even more flexible than actual Earth horses, depending on the animator, I suspect. Never mind the really weird ones like Pinkie Pie...

    Oh, boy. Grab your hardhats, kiddies, explosion imminent!

    Oh, dear. That's a worrying colour to see...

    Twilight, word of advice: Read the room!

    Geez, even I felt a chill from that one. Brr.:cool:

    Some manner of subtle regeneration? Celestia clearly has something keeping her body young and healthy...

    Wait, Sunset's sorry? Talk about whiplash!

    Ah... I'm picturing frequent pestering about her ascension and the process involved... And then freezing her out when she won't answer...

    Boy, this must feel cleansing for her, having carried that for a year...

    Must have been one hell of a shouting match back then. But I suppose Cadance has had fifteen years for it all to stew up...

    Probably still had some bad memories of the lady...

    Yeah, that would just have reinforced her desires...

    Understatement of the century.

    And that must have hurt a lot for Sunset... Seeing someone blunder into what she wanted so much...:(

    ...I'm picturing something akin to a Chaos Spawn...

    Of course, you can't blame her for that... She had orders from a higher power...

    Oh, boy. This is going to hurt someone...

    Next thing you know she'd be trying dark magic to gain power... You know, like Sombra...

    Right in the back of a certain Sunbutt.

    Still trying to make peace and encourage friendship, eh? Ah, you poor, naive mare.

    Quick, cover her ears!:eek:

    Too late... 'Twilight Sparkle.exe' has encountered an error and must restart.
    (This must be a bit you wrote a while back, eh?)

    The problem is she's not used to doing it with ponies who don't revere her as a living goddess...

    ...Just a bit. Luna's going to hear about that, I bet...

    To be honest, at this point that may well be her default mode of behaviour, albeit covered in maternal concern...

    ...And the Princess of Love sees to the heart of matters.

    One second, Sunset. She's still rebooting...

    Ah, there we go. She's back online.

    Well, that turned out well. I was expecting more shouting, really. It's amazing to see Sunset be so reasonable. She must be in a good mood...

    If it helps, cut the first ampersand and everything after it to remove that part. If Mr Zoat wants to use that clip, that'd be the best idea.
     
  18. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    She doesn't have to know how, she gets it done instinctively. Isn't that awesome?
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Don't forget she is an immortal who literally raises and lowers the sun.

    Quite a lot of us humans would pray to someone like that.

    To Twilight Celestia is a reassuring rock, a foundation of her life, someone she can always turn to. A parent. Someone like that isn't supposed to be wrong, it makes the world...insecure.
     
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  21. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    Yep, that's absolute horror alright.
     
  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I can see why ponies would be afraid of being banished to the moon, even if Celestia doesn't do it.

    There is this fic called A Hollow in Equestria, where Ulquiorra is sent there by Discord and tells Celestia why people may fear and she has the qualities of a tyrant, even if she isn't one and has no plans on becoming one.
     
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  23. ArKFallen

    ArKFallen _____

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    I don't like My Little Pony at all.

    This chapter is high quality. The timing and pacing of each pony's actions/responses has me imagining this chapter as part of a television episode.
     
  24. Soul Shocker

    Soul Shocker Not too sore, are you?

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    Celestia IS wrong!
     
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  25. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    See this just shows how much Celestia needs Luna. Someone she can interact with as an equal. Ironic that she's basically the most friendless pony in the world.
     
  26. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Missing word 'now', or a missing comma?



    Fun chapter, with Sunset showing some self-understanding, which tends to be very tricky in somepony her age... And, Grayven didn't get the trolling he expected, yet, anyhow - how sad. :)

    That might be what she wants, but, what does she consider her (maybe with a gritted-teeth smile) duty?
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2020
  27. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    She's an immortal god-being who has absolutely no peers, dealing with creatures sized like tiny children, and who are young enough to be her great-great-great-great-great grandchildren.

    Being a bit condescending is expected, tbh.

    So long as Sunset remembers not to be so annoying when she herself is an immortal god-being, it should be fine.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2020
  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  29. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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  30. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    Now that I'm thinking about it.....


    Luna and Celestia asended, in this fic, by having close relationships with skilled mentors from all 3 tribes, and immense magic power.

    As far as Celestia knows, the only way that's safe to Alicornise requires close friends from all 3 tribes. I think she was trying to show Sunset the path, but Sunset's obsessive, and she got stuck on the wrong part.

    Add in that Celestia's over 1000, and hasn't had an equal, or even real friends, in Sunbutt only knows when, so she's not really good at understanding ponies is a number of ways.......
     
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