1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    3,609
    Likes Received:
    29,697
    How... No, why does this make you happier Arty? Knowing you're 'approximately one billion years from the Last Harrowing'* doesn't matter in any way. It could be 5 billion and make no difference to you.

    *I'd say 'a billion years from home' but at this point this blased place should feel more of a 'home' to you. You've been there for centuries compared to mere years you spent in the Past.

    How convenient!

    The only real choice. Now quick, do the same to Vamp-Ra! In fact, Assimilate them both just to be on the safe side.

    This is an incredibly contrieved and anti-climactic ending to an Episode but I'll happily take it :)

    edit: Let's pretend this never happened and go back to courting a pony princess! At least now Grayven is nearing his first millennium so Luna is no longer cradle-robbing.

    That was literally a minute ago in-universe. They saw Melmoth's ship and Artemis beamed them down to see what's what. They had no time to visit the emotion magic specialists.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,304
    She can take it up to honor her mother, but use it for good.

    Or just regular evil.

    Given everything Starbreaker did it's possible that Dream has been taken off the board so to speak.

    We know that the Endless aren't invincible, as Despair, the original one, was killed by a mortal, and Morpheus was bound for decades, and in the recent Dreaming comics something similar happaned to Daniel.

    Starbreaker was extremely powerful so he may have had the power to either permanently kill Dream, or just imprison him.

    As for Death and Destiny, well Destiny doesn't exactly do much most of the time and Death may not care about what Melmoth does.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,304
    It makes her happy because she finally has some idea of how far away they are from the past, and in the first chapters she was wondering about the time.

    She might have spent who knows how long wondering how long in the future they are and she finally got an answer so she's a bit happy.

    She may also consider her past to be her home since while true she has been stuck in the future for potentially thousands of years most of those years were spent fighting a war being surrounded by sociopaths, while in the past she had good friends and people surrounding her.
     
  4. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    3,609
    Likes Received:
    29,697
    Hmmm... She needs something original. Something no version or expy of her has ever used. Preferably something that hints at her pointy stick obsession. How about... 'Arrowette'! No wait, there's a C-lister with that name... Then how about... 'Green Arrowette'?

    But why does it matter? Either they have a time machine in which case the distance doesn't matter or they don't, in which case the distance also doesn't matter because one or five or dozen thousand or million or billion years is equally insurmountable.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
    Chojin Patriarch likes this.
  5. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2015
    Messages:
    667
    Likes Received:
    4,407
    Hello there present readers.
    This is the past calling!
    Should the Summer's End 'timestamp' be here?
    This doesn't appear to be related to the Sheeda or their 'calender'
     
    Xmaster3000 and moralrelativity like this.
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,286
    No. As that segment has a different point of view character, it has their understanding of their own time.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,304
    It matters to her because she cares about it.

    It doesn't need to have a logical reason for that, people can care and obsess over things even if they don't make much logical sense.

    The Late Summer one in orange was the date in the Gate universe.

    Summers End is the title of this episode.

    When Zoat begins a new episode he first writes the title of the episode and then the date in which the chapter is set in.
     
  8. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,876
    The personal Lantern that would have been drained along side the ring and which would have no central orange power battery to draw energy to recharge from?

    Also there's the whole problem with the Entities being dead and gone along side the rest of the universe, so there should be no orange light period.
     
    Doccer likes this.
  9. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,979
    Lantern was in subspace pocjet, who knows if the effect extends there?

    If no lights existed, no one would be able to feel anythng, yet they do.

    Not enough for entities to form, but obviously enoguh for the Rings.
     
  10. Lakanna

    Lakanna Lurker

    Joined:
    May 28, 2016
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    81
    Grayven only needed a spark of Orange to get his personal lantern from subspace, but there seems to be no time passing between last episode when his ring was completely drained, and this episode.
    A few hours or days of time skip between seeing the dreadnought and actually going to meet it should at least get a passing mention, or you get confused readers.
     
  11. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    873
    Likes Received:
    3,602
    Yeah, that's what I assumed. We don't need to see every little detail.
     
    Jaron, BartlettMagic and DAT_NOOB like this.
  12. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    1,409
    i..think this is one of the Time's Vae genuinely has a point-

    given the extremely short timeframe between dealing with the energy drain and using his ring to brand, barring !not!Grayven having picked up a primer on how to charge his ring off passive/draining nearby avarice, well...

    the sudden colored text at a pivotal/potentially climatic moment made it look like that was going to happen-
    and, to be honest, it'd work/read a lot better then "i suddenly pulled my lantern out of subspace, with a dead ring, and charged the latter with it between metaphorical comic panels when ive had zero downtime between the last crisis and the current"

    It..doesn't quite work/feel right, im afraid, at least for me- it feels a little...well.. off, i guess,in the way it came out of nowhere when in the previous chapter he'd been seemingly considering taking a trip to another city (without ring flight/his usual mobility) to get his ring reactivated from a completely-drained state-though it could just be me here >~<

    -maybe a little revision/tweaking could help? i might be overthinking things again....
    for what its worth,im on mobile-if there's godspeech involved ive completely missed it >.<
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
  13. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    3,894
    Actually Mr Zoat what you failed to show here explicitly, was that sufficient time passed that we could infer that they went there and did that instead of them going straight to Melmoth as was implied here:
     
  14. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    1,107
    Likes Received:
    12,594
    He wanted this very, VERY baddly.
     
    True Ninja likes this.
  15. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    9,868
    Something to keep in mind folks is that it hardly takes any time at all to charge a ring.

    An orange lantern ring goes from 0 to 100% full in the time it would take to say
    "What's mine is mine and mine and mine.
    And mine and mine and mine!
    Not yours!"


    That's 16 syllables.

    So less time that it takes to say a haiku.

    Power rings are very impressive batteries.
     
  16. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Nope.

    What last chapter has is Greyven stating that he doesn’t have such a technique, but want to/intends to develop one with the help of emotion specialised mages.
    Then they are interrupted by a capital ship turning up and state their intent to go check on it, with a strong implication that they would do so immediately rather than taking multiple hours/days to go prep.
     
    Lakanna, True Ninja and CTrees like this.
  17. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2020
    Messages:
    738
    Likes Received:
    4,308
    They've spent potentially decades on improving the infrastructure on this planet, using magic. If they don't have a way to get to the other side of the globe in a few minutes tops, like the dolmen gates Paragon helped get made or Artemis's rainbow bridge, I'll shove my dick in a blender.
     
  18. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2015
    Messages:
    1,114
    Likes Received:
    11,921
    Zoat please correct me if I am wrong, but I think the dream harvesting thing is what drove Grayven to brand Melmoth.

    It feels similar to when Paragon was telling Melmoth about alternatives to Harrowing to save the Sheeda. And Melmoth refused because he liked hurting people even though he knew it was not as efficient and short sighted.

    Besides. How would harvesting dreams be any better? Sheeda having access to the collective unconscious of past civilizations could be disastrous? Stealing their dreams and ideas, inspiration? If those are harvested, it could create stasis and stagnation in a past civilization which could be just as bad or worse than the Harrowing was.

    Thoughts?
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  19. Finagle007

    Finagle007 [Verified Great Old One]

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    10,813
    Likes Received:
    95,196
    Melmoth reminds me of Columbus from FGO. Brilliant, but complete and utter scum.
     
    Darko likes this.
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,304
    Renegade branded him because he was going to continue doing evil things for no reason aside from his own pleasure.

    Melmoth doesn't want to harvest from dreams to get resources, he wants to do it to hurt any of the people in those dreams.

    The renegade is going to fix the universe so Melmoth wouldn't need to keep harvesting for materials, but he wants to do it for his sadistic pleasure.

    And there have been potentially trillions of species that have existed in the universe, so Melmoth would have a lot of civilizations to harvest from, compared to the few civilizations that have existed on Earth.

    I also don't get what you mean by creating stagnation in a past civilization when all previous civilizations are dead and the only things left are their dreams.
     
  21. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2019
    Messages:
    877
    Likes Received:
    2,252
    Well Damn!
     
  22. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2016
    Messages:
    1,341
    Likes Received:
    3,894
    Yes but getting to the place where he can get enough charge to do so takes some time anyway, and it was, incorrectly admittedly, inferred by a lot of people that they went straight to deal with Melmoth, due to an unspoken understanding of narrative conventions of the part that I quoted.
     
    Agent Orange, Cuchulin and Doccer like this.
  23. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2019
    Messages:
    877
    Likes Received:
    2,252
    I missed that. What was the quote?

    Be interesting if Dream had died and Artemis and Grayven rebirthed him by being the first to dream in a long time.
     
    Chojin Patriarch likes this.
  24. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    4,553
    Likes Received:
    12,681
    I think that Grayven's ring just got recharged by the sheer force of Melmoth's avarice. Look at how much Orange there was there!

    Even before he became Dream, he was a superhero while armed with nothing but prophetic dreams and a gun that shot sleep gas. Dude has grit and a willingness to punish people for their misdeeds. I think that something like Melmoth's dream-based supervillainy plan would be exactly the sort of thing he'd punish severely.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  25. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    1,186
    The lack of times being noted at the beginning of each update really doesn't help the impression that this one happened almost immediately after the previous one ended. I guess Melmoth is one of those patient bosses that won't take any action until you show up in his throne room? Just a little odd that his scripting is different here than it was in the witch world, where he was *very* active, putting the player on a clock.
     
    Agent Orange likes this.
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,304
    Only blue rings can recharge by absorbing the ambient emotion around them, the others require a Lantern.

    Your talking about Wesley Dodds, who was the superhero Sandman.

    He, Morpheus and Daniel are separate beings.

    Morpheus was the original Dream, Daniel replaced him.

    Dodds on the other hand was a guy that got a piece of Morpheus's soul after he was imprisoned and through it received prophetic dreams that showed him a crime about to be committed, so he decided to become a superhero and stop them.

    He may have thought playing around with the ones responsible for killing an extremely powerful godlike being was a bad idea.

    He played around with Paul because he didn't know who he was, or what he accomplished, but he knows that renegade and Artemis killed Starbreaker so he thinks it's good to not try and screw with them.
     
  27. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    18,587
    Likes Received:
    81,038
    Oh Melmoth, you were doing so well.
    If you'd just kept your murderboner in your pants until they'd left...
    Alas.

    Edit: i would expect that Grayven could generate a single spark of orange to at least open his subspace pocket, via his own Godhead.

    He's standing atop he planet that he conquered. He should have enough of a connection to his desires and his divine portfolio to do something.

    Greed and possessiveness over the world that he conquered granting just that tiny spark of power to pull his lantern out and get a proper recharge.
    It just never worked before because the vampire sun would eat it as soon as it was generated.
    And it has to happen off-screen so that the branding can come as a surprise at the end of this chapter.

    The problem with this explanation is that the line at the end of the last chapter makes it clear that Grayven doesn't have any way to generate orange juice on his own, and because he suggested going to another city to begin the project to maybe eventually recharge one of his rings.
    Which brings up the time issues.

    Remove that portion of last chapter and slot in something three or so chapters ago where he mentions trying and failing to generate Orange Light on his own. (or rather, tries and succeeds but it's drained before he can use it)
    And suddenly him regaining use of his rings as soon as the vampire sun is gone is well foreshadowed and makes sense.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
  28. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2015
    Messages:
    5,553
    Likes Received:
    29,976
    You know, if you had not said that, he would have given Earth back to you.

    You could have stopped with saying that you would just use the Dreaming to fix things and not go into details. If pushed you could have said that you didn't want Grayven to know how to do it. And it would have been all technical truth and you would be King.

    But no, you could not keep your mouth shut.
     
    Prince Charon, Ardy, Ngamer11 and 2 others like this.
  29. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    3,609
    Likes Received:
    29,697
    I seriously doubt they would've given him the throne regardless of what he said. They can't be that strapped for Evil Vizier candidates. And even if they were, you don't just hand over the throne to someone who very obviously and desperately wants it. It's a recipe for disaster. They'd probably just pick whichever Highborn showed the least greed/sadism/desire to rule. Actual sanity or competency for the job taking a distant second place.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
    Ngamer11, Cuchulin and Darko like this.
  30. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,876
    We know that the effect extends there... We are directly told he ate space...

    Also accessing a subspace pocket requires the ring be charged, which neither of his were.
     
    Gantradies and Cuchulin like this.
Loading...