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Seven Colours (Naruto)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Planeshunter, May 29, 2020.

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  1. Shaddurak

    Shaddurak Making the rounds.

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    Aww I like this story sad its coming to an end so soon haven't even got into the main events of cannon yet
     
  2. Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    Stretching a bit the concept of 'one chapter', not gonna lie...
    Fixed, thanks!
    I have doubts about this one. Don't you say things like 'I never had the chance'? Isn't this the same?
    She's making a reference to having strange thoughts she feels vaguely disturbing to dwell on. In this case, it's what if scenarios about her missing father and comparing him with a random bartender who just happened to be a decent human being towards her. 'Uncanny valley' sounded appropriate, but I'll be the first to admit I'm not too familiar with the expression, so I could've used it wrong.
     
  3. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    Given that the SI was a bit trolleyed at the time she thought that, the fact that it's a strange way of saying it is consistent with her general reliability as a narrator.
     
    LurkingInTheDeceit likes this.
  4. Risen Ire

    Risen Ire Making the rounds.

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    Care for his drunk daughter*
    The uncanny valley refers specifically to things looking not quite right, such as with CGI/computer generated faces. It doesn't really apply to this scenario.
     
  5. Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    Fixed, thanks!
     
  6. Beyogi

    Beyogi I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Maybe? But her mother would probably frown on that...
     
  7. etulauna

    etulauna Versed in the lewd.

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    She's going to murder danzo during the konoha crush and blame it on orochimaru.
     
    SolipsistSerpent likes this.
  8. Bad Habits

    Bad Habits Devil's Advocate

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    That would be awesome. Like genuinely, legitimately awesome. I mean yeah it's probably going to end up not doing a lot since apparently not everyone in ROOT is a brainwashed Sai-alike so there's almost certainly somebody to step in and lead the organization following his death, but just killing Danzo himself is still a net positive.
     
    SolipsistSerpent likes this.
  9. LurkingInTheDeceit

    LurkingInTheDeceit “Brave” explorer treading “New” land

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    Hmm, felt slightly awkward on first reading but they’re probably both correct.

    As Risen Ire said, it doesn’t really fit, but as Sceptic said, not making sense while drunk makes sense.
     
  10. Threadmarks: 039 - Seven Colours
    Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    039 - Seven Colours
    (The death of Shimada Ran)



    I wake up to the sound of screams and explosions, which was actually kind of expected. After how I drank yesterday, I’d usually need some time to shake the cobwebs and rub the sand from my eyes, even with my stupid Shimada blood. The process is unceremoniously skipped when a spike of killing intent aimed straight at me causes me to jump away just in time to avoid the kunai that sinks into the mattress instead.

    I land on the wooden headboard, suddenly feeling thankful that last night I was too tired to take off my clothes -Hylia bless your laziness, Past Ran!- as I reach for the storage seal holding a kunai under my armpit and take stock of the situation.

    The room is untouched, beyond the sudden bed piercing, but the window is wide open and a tall and lanky figure wearing a forehead protector with a musical note symbol is crouching on the frame. I’m confident he didn’t make any sound while opening up that window, or I would’ve startled awake, it must’ve been the sudden volume difference in the noise from outside that interrupted my sleep.

    An oto-nin straight after my ass from the start of the day. That wasn’t expected, but was still very much accounted for. Only an idiot would assume a two-pronged invasion would politely skip over them just because they’re not actually aligned with the targeted power. In the end, it just makes things easier for me.

    “Well well well, what do we have here?” He drawls, stepping into the room with a hand resting on the blade hanging from his belt. “A little Grass kunoichi, all isolated and alone in the middle of a battlefield!”

    “... Really?” I can’t help myself from snarking. “Out of all the clichéd villainous openers, you had to choose that?”

    “And mouthy too!” He cheers, slowly clapping a couple of times. “This is getting better and better and I haven’t killed anything yet!”

    “Look, is this the part where we trade witticisms before trying to gouge each other’s eyes out? Because I’m not very good at this bantering thing...”

    “Oh, there’ll be more than enough time for that later if you want, but no.” He gets into the room, actions as nonthreatening as someone used to gutting people for shit and giggles can manage. Which is actually a lot, because we shinobi are a sneaky bunch when it tickles our fancy. “When I heard there was a little Kuso-nin1 genius who had managed to get a field promotion in the village, I knew I had to come and take a look-sie!”

    I tense as he gets closer, but he raises his hands in surrender before getting too close, showing open palms and a wide smile as if that actually means something.

    “I was born in that shithole, you know?” He continues before reaching with a hand, still too far for the gesture to be anything but symbolic. “A half-decent kunoichi like yourself is wasting her talents there. Why not join us instead? Orochimaru-sama will make sure you get the recognition you deserve, maybe even lend you some real power, if you prove your loyalty.”

    It’s funny, because I’m pretty sure I already have more recognition that I deserve, back in Kusa. It doesn’t matter anyway, I’m about to flip the board and screw everyone. Also, Orochimaru still gets all my nopes. Ugh… This recruitment attempt is actually an inconvenience. I don’t trust my ability to fabricate a convincing battlefield for whatever ninja-wizard bullshit passes for forensics here, so I need this guy to make an honest attempt at killing me.

    “Wait, you were born?” I don’t normally put much effort into my facial expressions, so I can only hope my widened eyes and gobsmacked face look convincing enough. “I assumed you would’ve congealed somewhere in the sewers… My bad, that was kinda rude of me. To the sewers”

    All the easy-going attitude and fake smiles disappear, and the guy’s killing intent jumps through the roof. Mission successful, good job me, I knew I could do it.

    … Wait, why did I want him to try and kill me again?

    His first attempt at me is some sort of iaido bullshit that I barely manage to avoid by jumping onto the ceiling. From more than five feet away. He returns the blade to its sheathed position without another word, and I can’t help letting out a long whistle at the three clean cuts on the brick and mortar wall.

    My mind plays back what I actually managed to catch from his move. That wasn’t [Tsubame Gaeshi], and my Shimada eyes can keep up with a lot of bullshit as long as it remains firmly in the physical realm, so I didn’t exactly miss his movements, but they were still more than fast enough to make no difference to me. I can’t reliably dodge that.

    “Damn you’re good with that sword of yours.” It's my turn to drawl. “A shame you finish so quickly.”

    Shut up mouth, what are you doing!!

    He snorts disdainfully, but doesn’t dignify my words with an answer. Instead, he throws another lightning fast strike my way. Unfortunately, my position on the ceiling is much more precarious, and I have no chance to jump out of the way! The blade strikes true, a thin but deep cut cleanly bisecting my body and filling the room with… white and downy feathers.

    [Kawarimi no jutsu]” He growls as he watches the two halves of a pillow fall to the ground, words falling to convey the depths of his loathing. “If I ever meet the jackass who invented that technique, I’m going to make him eat the log.”

    He turns to throw a third strike at my new position, but I’ve finally got the gist of his technique. He’s not actually as insanely fast as he seems. It’s only that particular set of movements that reaches such speeds.

    Slash while unsheathing. Upwards, left to right. Then a second, horizontal slash the opposite way. A third cut downwards, also left to right, and a fourth, non-offensive move to re-sheathe the blade.

    He cannot correct, he cannot improvise. Heck, I’m unsure he can see his own blade. Only those four movements in that particular order, practiced day after day until he reached a mastery way beyond his actual level with that action alone. What’s a man like him even doing working under Orochimaru? How the hell did the Boss Dude even let him go in the first place?

    I rush inside his guard, positioning myself to dodge the first two movements, and his reflexive reaction to my own kunai threatening to gouge his eye out guarantees the third movement is never performed. My other hand completes its three quick seals, and my lips spit a [Katon - Petty Fireball] at his face.

    He dodges that too, feet still firmly planted on the ground and ready to cut me in half as soon as I leave an opening, all his evasive movements so far having been performed with his upper body alone, without really breaking his stance. More skilled than anticipated, but still manageable. He’s not out of my reach just yet.

    I drop the kunai, angling it so it’ll fall blade first on his foot, and I clasp my two hands as I step into super-close quarters, disguising a single hand seal with the gesture. From the glint in his eye, I can tell he wasn’t fooled, but that’s just the first layer of my trick. Finally, his stance shifts, the endangered foot sliding back while his blade is already rising, prepared to bat away whatever jutsu I’m preparing now with his blade. Just as planned.

    [Raiton - Arc Lightning]!” My arms spread wide open, blue lightning bolts humming and arcing from hand to hand. Block this with your metal needle, will you?

    [Hiken - Raikiri (Secret Sword - Lightning Cutter)]” To say my face goes white when I hear his words is an understatement. My elemental transformation gets cleanly cut in two, destabilizing the flow of chakra and abruptly ending the technique, and only a timely tilt of my head saves me from being the one missing an eye… and probably all the grey matter behind it.

    I disengage as fast I can, scattering a handful of caltrops in my wake and hope his apparent need for solid footing means he won’t just chase. He doesn’t, though I’m just reminded he can somehow create vacuum waves with his sword, so that’s cold comfort.

    Good news, he can’t perform Kakashi’s signature move and this is just an unfortunate case of naming convergence. Bad news, he can still cut fucking lightning. More good news, this confirms he’s indeed much slower when not using his iaido technique. More bad news, he’s still freaking damn fast even without.

    “You know? At some point every swordsman has to ask himself, ‘how am I going to deal with ninjutsu?’” He speaks conversationally, idly sweeping my caltrops to the side with a foot. “Some learn to dodge, some learn to preempt, some regrettably decide to branch out of the art. My answer was to deal with it was the same way I dealt with everything else, by cutting it down.”

    A sneaking suspicion forms in my mind. Knowing this guy won’t be able to resist showing off, I immediately put it to the test. A single seal with two hands, and a sudden burst of air shoots out of my lungs.

    [Fuuton - Pressure Air Bullet]

    Dismissively, wielding his long blade with a single hand and not bothering with proper stances, he swipes away at my jutsu.

    [Hiken - Kazekiri (Secret Sword - Wind Cutter)]” The wind bullet gets cut in half, harmlessly dissipating into the air.

    … I try again. “[Katon - Petty Fireball]

    He carelessly swipes his blade the other way. “[Hiken - Enkiri (Secret Sword - Blaze Cutter)]” My fireball suffers the same ignoble death.

    … He can cut down elemental releases. And he doesn’t even need a proper stance for it. Okay.

    So, he’s way faster than me, more proficient in close quarters, can counter my ninjutsu with insulting ease and is blocking the window. Maybe I can get out through the door, if I get an opening big enough to actually open it, but that’s not something I can count on with this guy. Same for breaking through the walls, it's a shitty motel so they shouldn't be too solid. Still... I might’ve bit off more than I can chew.

    My hand unconsciously reaches for the invisible seal under my wrist, but in the end I hesitate and don’t go for it. The Oto-nin’s eyes narrow warily, obviously having noticed my aborted maneuver. Good job, Ran. Not only have you not used your true strength, you’ve hinted at the fact that you have a secret trump. Now he’ll be wary.

    “Your reputation doesn’t do you justice, little Kuso-nin. One-handed seals and three elements at what…? Ten years old? You are damn good and should’ve been promoted ages ago. But you are still terribly outmatched.” He points out the obvious. And he digs at my height too. Twice. What’s with that? I didn’t get this much shit about it back in Kusa! “Are you sure you don’t want to swear fealty to Orochimaru-sama? I bet you’d enjoy being on the winning team for once.”

    “And you look like a honest and hardworking fellow.” I snark back. “What are you doing working with that psycho in the first place?”

    “And yet you insist on courting death.” He grunts, his hand grips the handle of his blade hard enough I hear it creak. “I was going to offer a swift death if you just surrendered, but I don’t think you deserve it after all.”

    “Not like I would've trusted someone crazy enough to work for Orochimaru with that in the first place.” Damn, no two ways about it… “But you’re right, you're out of my league. So if I’m going to die, fuck you too.”

    A specifically patterned chakra pulse releases the containment seals stitched inside my pants, and the room is swiftly filled with a dense green smoke. Anyone said Pox Faulds? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

    *Cough*” The effect is immediate, causing the Oto-nin to protect his mouth and nose with a sleeve and, more importantly, forcing him to hold his sword with a single hand. “What did you do, bitch, what’s this gas?”

    “Lung-melting toxins from Swamp Country’s skull-petal flower.” I answer, painting my best confident smirk on my face. “I got a bit of resistance, but this shit is the real deal. One hour from now we both will’ve coughed half our own weight in blood.”

    “You’re crazy!”

    “And you’re dead.”

    It’s a bluff to get him nervous, by the way. There’s no such thing as skull-petal flowers in Swamp Country, and they certainly don’t produce lung-melting toxins. This gas will sting like a bitch in our eyes and lungs, we’ll probably cough a bit of blood too, but nothing as… explosive as what I suggested.

    Also there’s actually a good half an hour before the inhaled dosage actually becomes lethal, not that I’m going to tell him that.

    While he charges at me once more, movements far less precise than a moment before, I can't help a feeling of anticipation. It's finally time to reach for the seal tattooed under my wrist for real. That’s where I keep the really important things. The fruits of my super-secret training I truly hoped not to need until after my plan had succeeded. Needs make musts, and all that. Dying because I refused to use my trump card would be a humiliating way to go.

    This is where I mount my counterattack.


    I have to hand it to him. Even panicked and rushing, he’s damn good at what he does. I don’t give him an opening to improvise a cloth mask for the fumes, but he doesn’t let off the pressure even with a hand busy. Always on me, no matter how I jump and weave, how I try to trick and misdirect him.

    My truly nasty surprises can’t be used in an enclosed space like this, unless I want to go for a suicide kill for real, but the ones I’ve managed to use have amounted to little. The room is full of caltrops and razor-thin wires by now, that he somehow keeps a perfect track of, avoiding or cutting them down with ease. He was clearly toying with me at the start, no way I could’ve survived his full skills if this is what he can do while heavily handicapped.

    For heaven’s sake, I threw a bottle of acid at his face and he cut it in half. And the contents were somehow cut in half too, flying harmlessly past his sides instead of spilling all over him.

    I’m running out of tricks and out of time. My fingers twitch, throwing one of my last shuriken with an unorthodox style that should've caught anyone by surprise and yet gets flawlessly dodged. That’s fine, actually. That reaction is maybe the only thing I have going for me. His senses and reflexes are top-notch, but he only reacted to the shuriken itself. He’s not actually a chakra sensor.

    The stage is set, the time is right, and I got as good a grasp on his reactions as I’ll ever have. As he charges at me yet again, I close my eyes to focus on what really matters. There’s no need to actually watch to know what he’ll do anymore. A jump to the wall to get past the wire traps, from there, he coils like a spring before throwing himself at me with a lightning fast charge. The only clear avenue of attack, really.

    I turn to face him before he even leaves the wall, my last kunai in hand as I try to intercept his flight in a blatantly desperate gambit. I’m at my wit’s end and the Oto-nin knows it. His eyes crinkle in what I can only assume is a smug smile at my attempt, aborting his thrust to tilt his body just so, and my clumsy stab skids against his reinforced mesh armor instead of sinking into his neck.

    My own maneuver leaves me wide open when he lands right behind me, blade at the ready to cleanly behead me as he turns, a victorious smirk in his lips… only to stop in his tracks right before he can deal the finishing blow. For a moment, he stares at me, paralized below the neck but still alive enough to send a look of panic and incomprehension my way.

    His blade has been stopped inches away from my neck by a wicked-sharp metal needle coming from underneath. Somehow, he manages to lower his eyes even in this state, eyes widening as his mind parses that the only reason he hasn’t crumpled on the floor like a stringless marionette are the four similar needles coming out of his throat, shoulder joints and heart.

    [Puppet Sign: Ambush-Party Dolls]

    The chakra strings he didn’t see, that he couldn’t see, shift under the twitches of my free hand and cause the little spears piercing his body to retract. As his dead body collapses onto the ground, four cute-looking dolls wielding sharp spears are revealed behind him. The fifth one, hiding behind my leg, is the one responsible for blocking his decapitating strike.

    “Shinobi life is all about smoke and mirrors, Otonin-san.” I tell the corpse. “There’s no point in being the better fighter, if you walk right into a trap.”

    Colored gas to mask the smoke of my storage seals, poison to enforce a sense of urgency and draw all his focus to me. Trap the terrain to limit his options and make him predictable… And to have a chance of surviving long enough to actually see through the stealthy, careful positioning of my dolls into an ambush.

    He could see through my razor wires even in the foggy environment of this room, so the only reason this worked at all is because chakra strings are invisible to the naked eye. I collapse on the floor, letting out a long sigh of relief.

    Holy shit it worked! And I even had a cool one-liner ready that was almost appropriate for the situation! Praised be Madoka, the Norn and the Holy Triforce! I thought I was going to die!

    *Cough*

    Oh, yeah, the smoke. Fortunately I can reseal it now that the fight’s over. Not in my pants though, those seals were one use only and will need replacing which is going to be a pain. A couple of hand seals, and the toxic green fumes are drained into a paper tag, finally allowing me to breathe fresh air.

    … Come to think of it, if I hadn’t implied a single lungful was enough to kill, maybe I could have bluffed this guy into fleeing? Once we really got going, I stopped considering retreat. Even if he had left an opening for it, I doubt I would’ve taken it. The idea of stopping the fight halfway didn't even cross my mind.

    … Stupid Shimada blood.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, the adrenaline rush is over so I think I’ll pass out now.



    Not!

    I don’t have time for this!

    The room is a mess, and there are blood splatters from the many cuts and wounds the both of us -mostly me- suffered during the fight. I couldn’t have staged it any better. Awkwardly, I reach for my almost-as-secret-as-my-truly-secret seal, pulling out a corpse I collected more than a month ago during that messed up field promotion mission and seal the Oto-nin body in its place.

    Then, just as awkwardly, I put my panties back on with a shiver. Stitching a corpse storage seal into the inner lining of my lucky underwear has proved practical after all, but I’m really not sure this has been worth hauling a corpse everywhere all day yesterday.

    I’m going on tangents. Putting the creepy School Days worthy necrophilic play firmly out of my mind, I examine the body. When I killed all those Iwa totally-missing-nin, there was a young kunoichi of approximately my body structure and somewhat similar hair amongst them.

    … Yes, that means she was vertically challenged, can we focus on what truly matters?

    She’s not actually close enough to my appearance to fool a blind and drunk donkey, but that won’t matter much longer. Because I set her on fire.

    Burn baby burn.

    Then, after making sure nobody outside has the free time to pay attention to me. I take everything I’m going to need from their respective storage seals and seal back anything I don’t need to have around. Which includes my clothes. Except my panties because active storage seals don’t play nice with each other, so I’ll have to carry a corpse against my skin for a bit longer.

    There, done with everything that needs chakra to work, I palm and down my last pill for the day. A chakra suppressor.

    As opposed to the scent altering drugs from last night, this works based on chakra bullshit, so the effects are immediate. With a shiver and a feeling of loss that has me hugging my own naked body, my chakra coils run dry. I’m now weak and utterly defenceless. Like an infant. Or a civilian.

    It takes reminding myself this is only temporary and all my self-discipline to avoid breaking down in tears. A hand goes to my neck, instinctually seeking the comfort of my locket only to grip at nothing.

    Right… It’s not there, I won’t be taking it with me, I can’t. It has to stay behind. A glance under the wrecked bed catches a glimpse of metal and I need to take a deep breath to hold back the urge to snatch it back into my person. Easily identifiable personal effects are dangerous. It will be found, it will be sent to the right people. Maybe it’ll be investigated by Konoha seal masters first, but there’s nothing compromising in there, and personal belongings of dead shinobi are treated seriously in the hidden villages.

    Finally, I get into the shared bathroom -Ratty motel, remember?- Where I unceremoniously proceed to torture my poor hair with chemicals that I’m pretty sure are against the Geneva Convention until it becomes lush and wavy, shining in a healthy golden hue. A pair of contacts paint the grey of my eyes a crystal blue, and I put on a frilly blue and pink dress Ran would never be caught alive wearing. A pair of brown boots, solid-looking and thick-soled, complete my new appearance.

    Shimada Ran is dead, she was killed during the Sound and Sand combined invasion on Konoha.

    [​IMG]

    … Leave me alone, fuuinjutsu and puppeteering go hand in hand and are of the few ninja arts you can practice in a small room in your basement behind closed doors. What did you expect me to specialize in, flea taming?

    Plus, I used to like Alice Margatroid a lot, enough to want a try at being her.


    I mixed with the first bunch of panicking foreign civilians I found as soon as I stepped out of the building, praying for the chakra suppression drugs I took to fool any guards standing in our way, and subtly implanted the idea of leaving Konoha as soon as possible into their brains. All subliminal suggestions, of course, can’t cast Genjutsu while on drugs.

    Fortunately for my poor nerves, nothing else went pear-shaped. Oh, the day was stressful and filled with challenges, from actually leaving the walls of the village to securing passage in one of the civilian caravans fleeing from the fire and brimstone, but it was nothing compared to what I had already done. By nightfall I was sitting on a carriage bound for Snow Country and nobody would hear of me again until that mess with the Stone of Gelel.

    Still, letting Karin believe I’m dead until I’m ready to make a reappearance is going to be a bitch. When I first made this plan it was just an intellectual exercise. One of those ‘what if?’ scenarios that are followed by a ‘but there’s no way that’ll ever happen’ and immediately forgotten about. I wasn't half as… committed as I am now.

    It wasn’t until the Boss Dude decided that blackmailing me into compliance was a good idea that I began taking it seriously and preparing for it. And even then, I still didn’t think the idea of leaving Karin behind, even if just for a while, would be so painful.

    What hurts the most, I think, is the fact this isn’t ideal, not by far. Not the best time to leave Karin out of my sight, nor the best place to do it.

    Konoha is going to face some unrest, what with Sarutobi’s death and the change of Hokage and all that. But I’m reasonably sure it’s still safe. I mean, there’s a very slight chance Danzo tries to get his grubby paws on her, even if she‘s too old to be reprogrammed.

    No, definitively this isn’t a good option. But every other alternative I can think of comes with its own risks, and this is the plan with the best chance of success I could figure out. I’m not smart enough to do better.

    There’s no way she will return to Kusa, not now that I’m officially dead. Hopefully Naruto will be a solid enough bond that she won’t try to leave the village and she won’t end up as Orochimaru’s pawn again.

    He better.

    Or else.







    When she hears I’m dead Mother is going to kill me.

    Arc 3: The death of Shimada Ran, End
    Queen of Puppets Book I: Seven Colours…
    [The End]

    1: ’Kuso-nin’ is a cheap and obvious wordplay between Kusa(grass) and Kuso(shitty)


    So! The End indeed! I think I mentioned at the start that this story was based on a prologue-ish one-shot I once wrote but never got around publishing. Back then, I never expected it would ever become a full-length novel on it’s own!

    Please keep in mind that, while Seven Colours is officially finished there are still two epilogues. Karin’s and Mother’s. And obviously this isn’t the end of Ran (or is it Alice now?) adventures. Still… this is the end for now.

    I only have the vaguest plans for the rest of her life, on how she will or will not affect the plot with her blind stumbling around being stupidly overpowered intelligent and nevererring plots and schemes. So the rest of the Queen of Puppets Saga isn’t on the table at this time.

    Golly, this has been quite the journey, some parts going better than others, but all in all a blast to write. And you wouldn’t believe how much some parts ended up diverging from the original one-shot. Actually, I might as well post it here, once I’m done with the epilogues, for completion’s sake. Personally I don’t think it really adds to the experience if you’ve already gone through this story, so I can’t recommend reading it, but it would be remiss of me to not even offer you the chance.

    Lastly, and equally if not more important. Apparently, working on two stories at the same time works wonders for my productivity, so I’ll be immediately picking up a new one to take the place of Seven Colours as an active story. To this effect, I’ve opened a poll in my snippets thread with the stories I feel confident I can take on. Please, feel free to drop by and give your thoughts. Even if it’s just you voting your favorite franchise out of the available ones, your choice will still be appreciated. Whatever vote results I get here will be added to my Patreon poll (at a 1:10 weight ratio) to determine which story will be taken.

    A friend explained to me in small words how stupid it was to have a Patreon and not use it, then proceeded to threaten bodily harm if I didn’t at least insert a plug on my stories so… Here’s my Patreon. It’s not much, but it’s mine. Don’t feel obliged to anything but maybe consider a small pledge if you enjoy my works?
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2021
  11. OdinMage

    OdinMage Getting sticky.

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    Chapter 39 is not threadmarked.
     
  12. Inbetweenaction

    Inbetweenaction Versed in the lewd.

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    damn, it's finished. i loved your stupid shimada story, and would have loved for it to continue for a few million more words.

    But thanks for now
     
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  13. Beyogi

    Beyogi I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah me too. Stupid Shimada Blood was a really excellent story and I'd have loved to read more about it. But I guess your stupid Shimada protagonist needs something to motivate her now.
     
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  14. 1minus2

    1minus2 Know what you're doing yet?

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    I just feel really bad for Karin... Stupid ninja world getting in the way of romances.

    I'm looking forward to the epilogue.
     
  15. Bad Habits

    Bad Habits Devil's Advocate

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    Knew there was going to be a sequel hook.

    Although I finally figured out which one's going to be the baby carrier between her and Karin. Ran'll have a hard time running off again if Karin's keeping her barefoot and pregnant.
     
  16. WeissSaber

    WeissSaber I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ooh wow seven colors name makes sense with Alice given her title, “Seven-colored Puppeteer”
     
  17. MudkipSage

    MudkipSage Versed in the lewd.

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    A Final Field Report
    "She faked her death."

    "There is no proof of that." Shimada-Momma stated neutrally.

    "Her body was turned over, and despite the severe necrosis, it is a perfect likeness. Sixteen Konoha swore she was killed fighting Ochimaru for 'Touching her Karin' , Three captured Sand Shinobi confirmed it. "

    "That would appear to be evidence in favor of my daughter being killed by him." her voice sounded fond almost.

    "There is a sworn testimony of several sound ninja, including Ochimaru. Who confirmed she was killed by his hand, and that he is quote 'sorry for the loss of such a splendid specimen' unquote. Along with evidence that the Missing konoha'n nin was seen delivering it himself. He was escorted to what we believe to be a member of the previously thought to be extinct Kaguya clan, who who absolutely no one knew about being even still around, much less joining him. As well as an apparent Konohan spy, and medical nin. Who similarly, no one has confirmed to be still living, much less a defector. Yet all investigations have turned up that these completely unkowable factors are in fact easily confirmed if you check, and could of been at literally anytime, on the contingency that you can see the fucking future. Nothign is this perfect, I refuse to believe it!" He slammed his fist on the desk.

    "It would appear we have at least gained some valuable intel. It was very kind of them to hand it over so easily... Boss-Dude-Sama"

    Mother looked boarding on proud.

    "Just get the fuck out of my office."
     
  18. Kotawa

    Kotawa Cat ears.

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    You keep telling yourself that, Ran. We all know you just wanted to play with a Karin doll.

    Aww.
     
  19. etulauna

    etulauna Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm conflicted with this ending. By the way, why did she fake her death anyway? It's not very clear to me. And putting that aside why not fake karin's death and run away with her? It's not like she has kusa loyalty or anything, those fuckers killed her family.
     
  20. Risen Ire

    Risen Ire Making the rounds.

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    Aw, I'm really sad that we probably won't get the continuation of this story past the 2 epilogues you mentioned. I low key wanted Ran and Karin to just elope into the distance to live out in some cottage or something, but what can you do? Karin is likely to be devestated at this death, assuming she believes it, as her first friend and possible life partner is dead. Shimada mama is probably going to be furious, and Kusa should probably brace for a sudden, and rapid, change in kageship as the Boss man may end up murderized for pushing her daughter into that situation. Mother warned that if Boss man interfered with Ran's growth then bad shit would happen, and if Mother believes this faked death (no guarantee) then angry Shimada incoming; even if she doesn't believe it then it can still be viewed as interfereing with her daughter's growth. Either way, I am excited for the last 2 epilogues.
     
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  21. V01D

    V01D Autistic lover of LOLz

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    What does trade have to do with this?
    (I think you meant BANTERING)
    um, I think you meant ONTO?


    I could see her, while traveling around, meeting some of the other Jinchuriki, like Utaka. ‘Discovering’ that they’re related to Hagomoro would likely knock their blaming them askew.
    if nothing else, pointing out that they didn’t ask for their fate either.
     
  22. Bad Habits

    Bad Habits Devil's Advocate

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    Ran definitely meant bantering, but honestly she's so bad at it she can't even get the name right :p
     
  23. LurkingInTheDeceit

    LurkingInTheDeceit “Brave” explorer treading “New” land

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    that sinks into*

    with a musical note*

    in the noise from outside*

    bantering*

    used to gutting people for shits and giggles*

    look-see!*

    Why don’t you join us instead?*

    much effort into my facial expressions,*

    Insulting to the sewers*

    The easy-going attitude and fake smiles disappear*

    jumping onto the ceiling*

    plays back what I actually*

    It’s my turn*

    my position on the ceiling*

    at my new position*

    planted on the ground*

    and hope his apparent need*/wake, hoping his apparent*

    bit off more*

    Not only have you not used your true strength, you’ve hinted at the fact that you have a secret trump.*?

    The ‘too’ doesn’t really make sense.

    work with Orochimaru in the first place*?

    more importantly*

    used in an enclosed*

    acid at his face*

    kunai in hand*

    I can only assume is a smug*

    collapses onto the*

    all day everyday*? As she didn’t just get the corpse yesterday. Or, did she only start wearing the panties yesterday, in which case that’d make sense actually. Nvm.

    I need to take a deep breath*

    and I put on*

    day was stressful*

    what with Sarutobi’s death*

    He better not*
    You haven’t mentioned her opening her eyes since closing them, can Ran still see his eyes crinkling?

    Who? Oh, Touhou. Still have no idea.

    What? How? Pls explain this.

    Poor Mother, all alone.

    Yep.


    I’m gonna need to go back to see how Boss-Dude blackmailed her and why it’s worth all this.


    Regardless, thanks for the story Planeshunter. I’ve enjoyed some chapters more than others, but overall, I’m glad you wrote it.
     
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  24. Planeshunter

    Planeshunter [Verified Slimegirl Whisperer]

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    I meant to make the reference more obvious, but I somehow kept fumbling the flow of the narrative and didn't find a good chance for it. Good to know someone got it anyway :D
    There is an official explanation, but I think this is one of those things that are best left up in the air, so everyone can draw their own conclusions.
    Fixed, thanks!
    Fixed, thanks!
    I think this one will be leaft as-is. He's messing around, grammatical correctness isn't required.
    She's mentioning how everyone seems to dig at her height since she arrived Konoha.
    She meant she wouldn't trust someone who works for Orochimaru with her painless death
    You said it yourself ;). Wearing the same pair of panties for a whole month would be disgusting and vaguely disturbing, even without a corpse stored inside.
    She meant Naruto better be a solid enough bond.
    She's intuiting, now sush, you're ruining my narrative ;)
    Not sure what you're asking about.
    Subliminal suggestions? Saying things that lead people to think of other, completely unrelated things.
    Not being able to cast genjutsu while on drugs? She just took a chakra suppressant, so she can't use jutsu at all.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
  25. LurkingInTheDeceit

    LurkingInTheDeceit “Brave” explorer treading “New” land

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    It’s less grammar and more spelling, but if it’s intentional that’s fine.

    The placement doesn’t really make sense, maybe ‘And he digs at my height tooor ‘And he also digs at my height too’?

    I know, the ‘with that’ just seemed awkward/unnecessary, but I included ‘?’ because I’m unsure if it’s actually incorrect.

    Ah, makes sense.

    *whistles innocently*

    I was asking how she did so without Chakra, as that level of subtle social manipulation seems like an unusual ability for someone like Ran to have.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2021
    Planeshunter, Gregory Crey and Ajlove like this.
  26. Ser_Murderlot

    Ser_Murderlot On the path to wizardry...

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    slow clap

    nice one OP. I did not see puppeteering coming. What will happen to the shimada scroll if she defects tho?
     
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  27. lvl90001000

    lvl90001000 Know what you're doing yet?

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    When I clicked on this story, I half-expected to see Alice in the Naruto universe, given the title. Then, reading through the comments, I was convinced to leave the Alice idea and go with the seven elements idea. Then it turns out that the answer was Alice. God damnit.
     
  28. Ayashi

    Ayashi Connoisseur.

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    I can't but think about how offended Sasori will be at that nickname...
     
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  29. Gregory Crey

    Gregory Crey Magic is of wonder and terror. Life is so magical.

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    What I think of when I see this:
     
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  30. Drak4806

    Drak4806 Well worn.

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    To me it feels kind off to just have her fake her death and abandon Karin.
     
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