Ninety two percent maximum power remaining.
Okay. Okay. I've got no idea where I am or what the hell's going on-. I mean, those weren't Earth's continents I saw on the way down, but at least the air's breathable, and… And there were settlements, civilisation, and they almost certainly don't speak English.
Not that that will slow you down, given you have a
Power Ring. And as you'll find out, they are awesome.
Why do I have a power ring and no lantern?
The light goes out, and I freeze, listening, peering into the blackness of the underground complex that the ring says has a lantern in it. The walls are covered in mosaics made of precious stones and the ceiling is gold-plated, so if there was any light down here it would be reflected. It isn't. It's pitch black now that the faint glow of the force field is gone, and-.
Heh. Still learning to focus on his
wants, I see. Wonder if he's had the self-improvement moment yet or not?
I need to focus, yes, that's better. The faint orange glow of my environmental shield is enough to show me the… Mosaic appears to show… A king or god handing a scroll to a… Noble? Who then goes around taking precious things from other people. Lesser nobles? And then… And then yes, that's an orange personal lantern give me!
WOOMPF!
Hmm... A culture of acquisitiveness. Not a lot of clues there.
Good, right frame of mind. Don't
fear the threat,
want it gone.
WOOMPF! WOOMPF! WOOMPF!
Energy bolts hit my barrier and it doesn't look like it's going to last! Fire back! Fire back!
Ah, desperation, the mother of invention... And
violence.
Orange beams flash into the treasure room, slicing through some sort of gun built into the wall. There's a quick flare of flame as it's destroyed, then… Nothing.
Ah… Armour. And scan for more guns.
He'll be wanting to get something more protective than flannel pyjamas soon.
None detected.
Other weapons?
It's a poor tomb that only has one trap.
None detected.
Force field or other things that aren't walls?
Yeah, never assume that the AI understands what you mean. Though Orange Rings to tend to be smart that way.
Awareness expanded.
Aaaagarhgah.
Awareness contracted.
Ooh, that must have
stung. Especially as a rookie.
That was-. That was unpleasant, but at least I know there aren't any more guns. I walk passed the area that was blocked by the force field and-.
Something glowy appears in front of me and I immediately shoot it. The energy bolt goes right through and slams into a pile of gold jewellery on the far side, scattering it. The glowy-. It's a hologram, the translucent image of a man dressed in… Ancient Middle Eastern clothing? Plenty of jewellery from what I can tell, but the colour is fairly washed out. The image flickers, disappearing entirely for half a second and then reappearing.
Twitchy, but understandable. It's been
quite the morning.
"Interloper! You trespass on the territory of the Great God Mammon!"
His eyes seem to glow for a moment.
Hmm... As in the same demon of Earth?

Well, Hell
is supposedly universal. But according to his comment about the continents, this isn't Earth itself.
"You have already earned-"
The image starts jerking.
Glitchy from age, or from Paul's little barrage earlier? No telling for sure at this stage.
"-earned earned earned-."
It disappears.
Okay, it's a junker.
Ah.
"God Mammon!" Glow. "You have already earned your death. Surrender to by guards and it shall be swift."
So, is this guy Mammon, or merely a priest of him? The joy of a blind introduction...
I walk around it and ignore the rest of its spiel. If there were any guards when this place was buried, they've either left of died. I haven't seen any bodies, so… Hopefully, they got away.
Ah, where's the lantern already?
Hmm... So it's likely this is either a DC Universe or one adjacent enough to have Maltusian Spectrum technology. Which could be anything from a sub-
imprint to a
licensed property.
Displayed.
Ah. Either through that wall, or in a concealed compartment inside that wall. Can I..? Ring, open it.
Ah, good. Already getting into the habit of having the Ring 'do the thing'.
Light strobes out, focusing on an oblong outline. The glow caries on for a moment, then there's a click and the panel pulls in and then rises up and there's the orange personal lantern! I-! I scan for weapons again and find nothing. Then I make a construct hand and grab it and pull it over to me.
Safe.
Feeling a
lot safer, I bet. We've seen how desperate
other Pauls were to get personal lanterns.
My light goes out again, but the glow from the lantern and the hologram still illuminates the room.
"God Mammon!"
Focus, Paul. Don't want to get caught with your defences down...
Safe.
On an alien planet with no idea where I am. I never learn to spot constellations, much less how to actually navigate in space! I've got work…
To be fair, most people wouldn't know the latter skill. Hell, I don't think many would bother learning about constellations, especially if they live in big cities. Light pollution, you know?
I glance at the pile of jewellery on the ground.
I've got work tomorrow, though between that and the power ring I can probably afford to resign. Need to train a replacement, as -management aside- I've liked working at the company and don't want to be an arse about it. I don't think I'll have to worry about finding something to do with my time instead of work-.
Easier than asteroid mining, but probably
less profitable.
But that all presupposes that I can get back. Mum and Dad will stop by on Sunday for our walk, and… That's probably when they'll first notice that I'm gone. Unless work phones them. Me not turning up without notice should make them try phoning me, but they might not try phoning other listed contacts for-.
That doesn't help.
Getting home may take some time.
In theory, if this is an orange power ring like in the comics, I should be able to find Earth eventually. Just check ever star in the galaxy, and if that doesn't work, pick another spiral galaxy and try there. Eventually I should find some sort of spacefaring civilisation and get them to tell me how to narrow it down. I should be able to detect main sequence stars with rocky worlds from a distance… Hopefully.
...Heh. Sounds a bit more the Greenies' type of process, but with a little '
get it done', it shouldn't take that long.
So do I start immediately, or do something else?
I'm on a planet with aliens.
Green Alien Space Babes, captain. Or Blue. Or Yellow. Or Pink. A whole technicolour galaxy.
I didn't get a close look on the way in. None of the settlements I saw were in this area. I realise that they're almost certainly not humanoid, and… Seeing me will probably be very disturbing for them. I remember seeing a report on a Call of Cthulhu game on 4Chan where a character is teleported to an alien world. He looks around, passes his sanity check for seeing their 'strange geometries' and them fixes the teleporter and returns to Earth. Then the players ask why the GM is still rolling dice.
Ah. A GM rolling dice is
never good for the players. Especially if they're not doing anything that needs rolls.
The aliens needed sanity checks for seeing the player.
But… I have a power ring. It shouldn't be difficult for me to look down on them from space. See how they live. And it would be a long shot, but maybe they've got records of whoever built this and got this lantern.
Ah, yes. The 'Humans are Cthulu' trope. When we're too
weird for the spacemen to understand. Or that one '
Powers' page with the interdimensional traveller popping in, rendered in full 3D, and someone pukes upon seeing them. Or maybe it was '
Top 10'? (Sadly, it's really hard to search for something
that generic.)
And since I don't need to conserve power anymore…
I rise off the ground.
Don't go
too power-mad now, Paul...
Heh.
Ring, do I have a subspace pocket?
Confirmed.
...Especially since you have functionally
unlimited inventory.
A strobe of orange light deposits every valuable object in the room into that pocket. I leave the images on the wall with their precious stones. They might have archaeological value, and I can always take them to the British Museum once I know where it is.
And then I fly back towards the entrance.
Ah, Archaeology in the
finest British fashion: Loot everything that's not nailed down, and come back with a
crowbar...
