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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You know with timing of this threat on live tv just when they are talking about 'hero holidays' people are just going to assume that the Herogasm is back on and Indigo went off to have fun.
    Hope he's recording everything otherwise it's gonna be awkward having to explain himself when he gets back.
     
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  2. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Mr Zoat
    Is Paul getting 4th wall breaking powers? Is that why he's getting vision's of other him's?
    Does he see the Grayven parallel?
    Does he see the NSFW parallel?
     
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  3. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    No Krona the fallen guardian of the universe is destroying the multiverse so trapper Paul (from the Chinese parallel) is collecting the crisis of infinite pauls to stop him.
    He saw the parallels when ambush bug came into the story a while ago
    He did not see the Grayven parallel but ambush bug did mention it
    He did not see the NSFW parallel
     
  4. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Yet....

    If Eros Paul comes in at the climax of this story, things could get messy.
     
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  5. Threadmarks: Duplication (supplementary, Renegade option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Duplication

    2nd April 2012
    09:22 GMT -6


    My day started strange, and now I'm surrounded by mini-ponies.

    What a world.

    I use a construct to shove one of the drawing room's doors open. Luna, a hoof -hah!- ful of guards and a couple of ponies I don't recognise are assembled within, guards at the doors, windows and attending Luna while the other three lie on chaise longues.

    "Hey, Luna. I brought Jean and a few g-gnomes. Are these your experts?"

    She nods, indicating an elderly looking mare. "Justice Heavy Heart has volunteered to aid Us in the matter."

    I frown. "Is that 'Us' as in you, or 'us' as in us?"

    "U-." She hesitates. "Both, we suppose. Doctor Hay Exchange-" She indicates a stallion with a cutie mark of a balance, a pile of scrolls on one side and a pile of coins on the other. "-has also expressed an interest in aiding Us in gaining an understanding of modern economics. And-. By 'Us' We mean 'me'."

    "Right." I nod to him. "Slight problem. Jean didn't come through as a pony."

    "What did she come through as?"

    There's a general intake of breath as changeling queen Jean clops through the doorway, following by the g-gnome drones. They're a bit more mobile in this form than in their customary shape, which meant that we could get away without bringing the usual g-elf escort. From the way that the guards are starting to square up I think that bringing the combat genomorphs would have been a unnecessarily confrontational act.

    "We see."

    "Princess Luna?" Jean looks around and I point her out with my right forehoof. "My name is Jean, and I will be overseeing the process."

    One of the guards glances at Luna.

    "Princess..?"

    Luna shakes her head. "Be not afeared, Our loyal protector. These are not in truth changelings. This is merely the result of the changes wrought by Starswirl's Mirror."

    I nod. "She actually looks like this."

    I generate a construct image of her native form. From the expression on the ponies' faces, they don’t like it any better. I mentally shrug and then dismiss it and the transformed g-gnomes take position near Luna. Jean takes a step closer to Heavy Heart.

    "Ms Heavy Heart?"

    Heavy Heart doesn't look entirely sanguine. "… Jean. What exactly are you going to do to me?"

    "With your permission, these g-gnomes will study the networks of schema in your mind relating to legal practice. They will then copy them into the mind of Princess Luna, and work to integrate them into her schematic systems so that she gains the same instinctive awareness of legal affairs that you have."

    She nods. "And I won't forget anything."

    "Since they are creating a copy, the original will be unaffected. You might find yourself having.. unusually acute recall of particular incidents while they work to locate them, but otherwise you should not notice a thing."

    Luna leans forward, her nose a short distance from a blankly-staring g-gnome.

    "And for Ourself?"

    "Once we begin the dubbing process, you may experience a period of confusion while the integration is completed. Assuming that everything goes to plan, the worst that will happen will be surprising moments of insight; we can only integrate the memories so far. In the event that there are any problems, we can erase the new unintegrated memories quite easily."

    "Do We need to do anything? To keep Our mind blank, perhaps?"

    "On the contrary, we find that sort of thing unhelpful. All we would ask is that you remove any magic-based mental defences. We have no way to work around those ourselves. And if you could avoid casting for the duration, that would help as well."

    Luna nods, then turns to Heavy Heart. "Are you ready, your honour?"

    "I.. believe that I am. When will you begin?"

    The horns of the g-gnome drones start glowing with a pale orange corona.

    "Now."

    Luna stares, a faint corona rippling over the surface of her horn.

    "Fascinating."

    I nod. Curious how the mirror adapted their abilities to magic. Genomorphs have next to no magic ability, as far as Sunset was able to tell. Barely any arcane presence at all, in fact. It's a problem that might fix itself over the next few generations, but otherwise I'll need to be adding it to Sunset's slate. Point is, the mirror didn't turn them into something with telepathic abilities, it gave them equivalent magical abilities instead. That warrants further investigation.

    "How fares Our Sister's former student?"

    "Ah… Emotionally overwrought. I… Don't think she's going to be coming back for a little while." Luna nods solemnly. "She was still in pony shape last time I saw her, so she's clearly not… Rejecting her equine existence or anything…" I frown. "Do her parents live in Canterlot?"

    "We do not know. Our Sister hath not mentioned them." She frowns mildly. "We will send a missive once We hath determined their identity and place of residence, informing them of Sunset Shimmer's wellbeing and newfound status. She hath not spoken of them to you?"

    "She mentioned that they exist. That's about all she told me about them."

    "We see. That is unfortunate." Her eyes flick downwards. "Our Sister made it clear that she made no friends during her education; to be alienated from her family as well-"

    I clop forwards, half turn and lie down next to her seat, the upper part of my trunk resting against her side.

    "-would.. be…" She turns her head around to look me full in the face. "What are you doing?"

    "Sounded like you were getting mopey, and there wasn't room on your seat." I tilt my head left until it's resting on her shoulder, then lean on her. "Go on."

    "We…" She blinks and turns her head away, as if suddenly becoming aware of the other ponies in the room. She clears her throat, and the ones who were staring find something else to rest their eyes upon. "Would be rather sad."

    "Yeah, it would. Speaking of family, is it alright if I bring mine for a visit?"

    "Of course." Slight hesitation. "Who..?"

    "My children. Lynne, Pa-"

    I cough.

    "-Bethany, Maeve, Stephan, Mary, Christopher, Clare and Sarah."

    "You have..? Ah. Their.. mother..?"

    "Their natural parents are dead. I adopted them. Oh, but my mother might visit at some point; I think Equestria could be good for her."

    She nods in understanding. "And you wish for me to meet them that you may learn of my skills as a dam, and that your mother may assess my worth as a partner."

    "Ah… Sort of. The children, pretty much. My mother, less so. I'm old enough and horrible enough to make mistakes-. Decisions!"

    Her right wing bats me over the head. I smile at her.

    "Decisions. Lynne can come over this afternoon, if you're up for it. Ease you into it."

    "We believe that We are." Luna nods. "Is there anything regarding her that you feel that you should notify Us in advance?"

    "She's a stronger telepath than the g-gnomes, and since she's a New God like me she'll probably come through as an alicorn. She grew up on a military base and was briefly used as an Anti-Life broadcaster so there's absolutely no need -or point- in shielding her from the harsher realities of life."

    "We.. had meant regarding her hobbies or preferred foodstuffs. But I suppose that you would know the most pertinent insights."

    "Princess Luna?" Jean gestures as the glow from the g-gnomes fades. "We are ready to begin the implantation."
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'my g-gnomes' or 'the g-gnomes' not 'my the g - gnomes'

    'Heavy Heart' not 'heavy heart'
     
  7. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    No Paul specifically mentions seeing visions after that part.

     
  8. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Aww, ponies again. Neat. And of course his mother won't be an Alicorn.
     
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  9. Breadnaught

    Breadnaught Experienced.

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    If they really want to pursue magic on their own, the obvious solution would be to send this lot back via boomtube, skipping the transformation process of the Magic Mirror.
     
  10. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Damn. That's the superpower I would like most of all.

    To just...get the deep and instinctual understanding of an expert within seconds.
     
  11. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Oh yeah I forgot about that. I don't think he saw Grayven or eros paul though
     
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, she will. Just not in a good way.
     
  13. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    ... I always wondered how the hell would growing up with a Prophetic Name realistically work. What if your parents named you something like 'Alfred' or 'Jeeves' (last name naturally being 'Butler' or 'Valet')? Is your destiny to be one when you grow up? Should you tailor your education to it or should you go out of your way to avoid it? What if you don't want to be some rich schmuck's manservant? Your name tells you that you will most likely work as a butler, your 'magical-bum-parasite' means that you'll be a prodigy at all things butler-y ... is there a point in fighting it?

    How about even worse names like 'Remus Lupin'? What the fuck were his parents thinking?!

    Ooooh boy...

    It does. It definitely does. That Mirror is far more than just a portal. In fact it acts a lot like Boom Tubes do in comics in adapting the users metaphysique to fit the destination - just with added shapeshifting (speciesshifting?)

    He really enjoys flustering her doesn't he :D

    He is a cad. But their chemistry is great so far :) Great chap!
     
  14. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Interesting. So last post was the end of Part 1 of the plot. And a look at what Grayven's up to...

    Time for Luna's little mental cram session? This should be interesting.

    Presumably a medical doctor is standing by. Just in case?

    Would be beneficial to her getting a hoof in the financial circles. Do ponies do fractional banking yet, I wonder? On the upside, they're less likely to be cavalier with other ponies money...

    Something that would be seen as hostile, judging by Grayven's behaviour...

    ...Okay, yeah, that'd do it. Wonder if they've got the polymorphic effect changlings do? And do they have some colour differentiation compared to Chrysalis' greenish hive?

    Yeah, I can see the concern...

    Perhaps it has a sense of humour? Turning a hive-minded meta-species into the nearest equivalent is one thing...

    Given that the bipeds they've met likely include Diamond Dogs and Minotaurs... I can understand their wariness.

    Good question. Another good question: "Will it hurt?"

    Wonder if there's a spell that does just that, stealing knowledge from one person to give it to another?

    I doubt it's any more painful. Grayven's group has made plenty of use of it... I hope?

    I suspect that's an easy task for her. No need to tell her "Think of a pink golf ball..." or something silly.

    How do you know they haven't already? Though that would be rude...

    Interesting colour choice. Now I'm imagining the coloured parts of their anatomy in amber.

    Now, if only she could do the Spock Eyebrow...

    Makes you wonder what it would make of Metahuman powers. Or Kryptonians. Or Martians...

    Wow, someone finally thought of that in-universe... And the kids haven't seen Sunset yet, have they?

    Hmm... Wonder of she was trying to forget an ignoble family career or something. Would be amusing if they turned out to be manure-gatherers or something.

    Hey now, no gloom and doom while your sweetheart is here.

    Ah, Grayven, you big softy.:rolleyes:

    And much squeeing will be had in the halls of Challenger Mountain!

    Ah yes, his namesake... That pesky Compulsion again. Surprised he hasn't cottoned onto OL's trick of having the Ring say The Name.

    Eight succuvamps - five girls, three boys - and Lynne. Quite the little brood.

    ...[Concern] Uhm, what if Darkseid has her being monitored? On the other hand, no better place for healing wounds of spirit...

    Ah, Grayven, you troll. Honesty, Alicorn is just the wrong shape for you...

    I bet she makes an adorable alicorn filly. White pelt, black mane. Wonder what her Cutie Mark will be? An Ace?

    And no need to be concerned about Anti-life itself, either. That's long gone, unless some of Grayven's lingers in her.

    Huh, I though they would have been writing as fast as they read. So they were uploading the copy into their 'RAM' first, then mean to write to Luna.

    Well, a cut-away to Renegade. I guess Raul and Saul are taking a while explaining things to Sinestro over in the Inviolate universe, then.

    Correction:
    Luna stares, a faint corona rippling over the surface of her horn.

    Oh, dear. That does not bode well... Should we be picturing some broken-down old mare like something out of an RSPCA advert? Or a certain Pale Horse?
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
  15. zerofarad

    zerofarad Know what you're doing yet?

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    Oh that's a nice maneuver, put the patient at ease by finding an occasion to say they have access to a total defense against you. Technically it doesn't even have to be true, though of course it's more effective long-term if it is.
     
  16. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Oh, oh no
     
  17. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    The neat way: Your parents have the premonition to give you names which will correctly prophesize your eventual cutie mark and adult career path. What they see is bound by where you will find enjoyment and success, rather than binding your options to their choice of name.
    The cheat way: Your reality is retroactively rewritten when you get your cutie mark and find your career path so that such was always your name.
    Let's hope not. There may still be a chance to save Equestria if they can avoid that.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
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  18. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I think more like an alicorn with wing and horn stumps.
     
  19. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Oh. Well, that'll be sad. I'm looking forward to the .. imagery at least.
     
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  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Grayven should just spend the rest of his existence in Ponyville.

    It makes him almost tolerable.
     
  21. Valint

    Valint I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The easy way? You change your name when you become an adult, to match your career path.

    Yeah, the fact that the names are ultimately designed to sell toys and match the toy's design means that you kind of have to ignore obvious references to ponies having a little too on-the-nose names.

    Still, the writers at least tried to make a nod in the direction of logic, by having one of the adults (Mrs. Cup Cake, whose cutie mark is cupcakes) reference that she was born Chiffon Swirl and then changed her name later on.
     
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  22. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    Funny. One of my first thoughts when it was mentioned that the Genomorphs turned into Changelings was, "Bet it must be real interesting for them to suddenly have sexual organs and the attendant urges."
     
  23. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

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    HA! This is gold. Every Paul is dealing with a major Crisis Event, except Renegade who's busy frolicking merrily with the ponies.

    On one side it's all *BANG**BANG**BANG* Screaming "RAGE" "Oh my."

    And then cut to Grayven. "♪My Little Pony, I used to wonder what Friendship could be, My Little Pony, Until you all shared its magic with me.♪"
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Sort of.
    Some fanfics have ponies getting 'adult names' after their cutie mark appears.
    Basically.
     
  25. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    That would be of limited use.

    While Zoat avoided making magic biological on Earth-16, it definitely is in MLP. For example, breaking a unicorn's horn breaks their magic, as a character shown in story demonstrates.

    So by incorporating changeling physiology they'd get to do what a changeling can do. And while changelings have some tricks, their abilities are limited.

    For "learning spells to do whatever they want like a dnd wizard" they'd need either a unicorn or an alicorn.

    Which they should already have access to, thanks to Sunset.
     
  26. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Nice to see the ponies again.

    But the timing makes me wonder if Krona is going to turn up.

    I'll -> it'll
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I believe that you have misread the sentence.
     
  28. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Broken horn and broken wings?

    Ouch.
     
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  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Yeah that's going to be disturbing to see.

    On a hopeful note, maybe they will have some way to fix that in Equestria, hopefully like they had a way to destroy the AL Equation.
     
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  30. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    Makes me wonder what would happen if she gets hit by major magical healing... Heal the (magical) body, help the spirit to heal? So, what if she gets Harmonized? Or, are there less drastic methods available?


    On a different subject, does this suggest to Grayven he could try and mimic Starswirl's Mirror with a modified Boom Tube?

    I recall a comic where the New Gods were giants, and they got shrunk/enlarged by Boom Tube travel, as the reverse occurred to humans (etc.). I think a Kryptonian got there by a different route, and was maybe a couple of inches high... How DC canon this ended up being was unclear...


    I'd be curious to know if the various g-gnomes (and Jean) can learn the Changeling illusion disguise trick. That could make them a lot more socially acceptable, back home... They could impersonate faery beings, or something... Also, does this mean Jean could learn to fly on her visit, and take that new ability (presumably as some sort of TK) home?
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2020
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