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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Has Green-Man given Paul the info he requested or did he just decide to ignore Earth and the people that live there? Not insulting him Earth on its best day's can be called a hell-world in this universe their actually right.
     
  2. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Wow is Truggs an idiot. Looting a Hell infected Earth has to be only second of going into Warhammer 40,000 and asking an audience with the "golden toilet" Emperor.

    I mean my SI character is basically Mad Science Edison, meaning he steals other people tech and improves it; and even the evil version of him would think Truggs is a freaking idiot.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I don't think he did since he doesn't know who Paul is and thus may not fully trust him.

    Also the Guardians could have forbidden him from doing so once they found out it was an Orange Lantern.

    They don't have the best history with those.
     
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  4. 0zymandias

    0zymandias Making the rounds.

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    So any bets on what made Demon Superman do insane? I'd imagine an early enemy corrupted this Superman a la the Batman who Laughs and that started his road to the dark side. And does anyone have any expectations on what the Demonworld Paul is like? I'm imagining he was corrupted and became an evil Sybarite lieutenant or something similar to Angel-Paul and he's a part of the anti demon resistance.
     
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  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He has not yet responded.
     
  6. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    there's a follow-
    Eyeteeth?
    So GLaDos but sane.

    True. But I woulda incinerated the bodies. Demons might not have made their way here otherwise.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2021
  7. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Missing "robot" but more likely the correction should have been "there's robots follow-" (which would be grammatically incorrect but very common vernacular usage, so gets a pass in dialogue)

    It's a regional idiom. Your eyeteeth are another name for your canine teeth, so to give one's eyeteeth for something implies you would be willing to trade even parts of your own body for something.
     
  8. Baladar

    Baladar Know what you're doing yet?

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    Mr Zoat I don't recall the chapter, but I seem to recall that when Paul was bonded to Snek Lady, he redesigned Warhammer to fix it.

    I found out that one person has been doing that single handedly to make a "9th Edition" of Fantasy. Thought you might be amused:

    http://warhammerarmiesproject.blogspot.com/
     
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  9. Threadmarks: Past Participant (supplementary, Renegade Option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    16th September 2012
    13:03 GMT -7


    Sigh.

    It's got to be done.

    I knock on the door to Celestia's office in the School for Gifted Unicorns, which isn't actually as tribalist as it sounds. I mean, it's pretty tribalist and anyone trying this in America would find themselves on the receiving end of a civil liberties lawsuit before you could say 'cause célèbre', but not quite as bad. Canterlot is a majority unicorn city. More to the point, it's a city inhabited by unicorn aristocrats. Naturally, when building a school they focused their efforts on ensuring that the needs of their own offspring would be met. Celestia's patronage and… Jedi-like recruiting habits were a much later addition.

    The door glows with her golden aura for a moment, then swings open.

    "Come in, my little pon-."

    I stick my head through the door, and Celestia sees one of a short list of ponies she can't call 'little'.

    Or 'hers' really, unless she wants to get into another fight with Luna.

    "Grayven. I'm afraid that Luna is asleep."

    Since she's not kicking me right out, I walk the rest of the way in and sit down opposite her. She watches me with mild concern, and her horn glows as the door clicks shut behind me. Yes, mild concern… I don't usually talk to her unless she's messed something up with Sunset, but the two of them have actually been doing better lately. Not because any of the underlying issues have been dealt with, but because Celestia has actually listened when I advise her on what not to do.

    I'm still not convinced that she can internalise any of it, but perhaps they can get to the point where it's something they find it amusing to argue over, rather than a massive flashpoint in their relationship.

    "That's not what I'm here for. And-." I spot the slight tinge of concern. "It's not Sunset either. Well, not… Directly, though I suppose it affects her. Or.. affected her. I was… Looking over Equestria's crime statistics, and I… I couldn't help but notice that the alumni of this school are… Um. Overrepresented."

    I take a pile of police pony files out of subspace and put them on her desk one by one.

    "Fireburst. Arson. Skitterweevil. 'Plague Calling'?" I shrug. "Gallowbraid. Destruction of property. Keening. Assault and Wounding. Sunset Shimmer, assault and unauthorised use of arcana. Sunburst. Indecent Exposure. Mortar Pointing. Building… Theft?"

    Celestia nods. "That's why I've tried to take an active role in running the school. Ponies are driven to realise their special talents, and with unicorns whose talents relate to magic, that can produce some fairly extreme behaviours."

    "Right, but… For example, you've never sent a sun nova, have you?"

    Celestia blinks. "I don't know what that is."

    "Ah. No, I suppose you wouldn't. Okay, here." I take a book on stellar dynamics out of subspace. Something I assembled myself, taking parts from more reader-friendly texts as well as mathematical explanations from university level books and translating the whole thing into Equestrian. "I was going to give this to you at some point. Consider it a down payment on Luna's bride price."

    "Thank you." She levitates it to her side of her desk with a slight frown. "I hadn't realised that your relationship had reached that point." She considers for a moment, then manages a smile. "Though I'm happy for both of you, there isn't any requirement in Equestria to 'buy' a bride."

    "No, I realise that. Page one hundred and forty seven." She flips through the pages with her magic. "And we're not. I was just… Trying to be witty."

    "When Luna and I were younger, the dowry would be paid to the head of a herd. If you want to marry Luna, you should probably avoid implying that I'm above her."

    "So, what, Starswirl? Luna's an old pony. I want to do things-"

    Celestia's eyes widen and she leans away from the page as if it might leap up and bite her!

    "-properly. Yes. Nova."

    "This is… The end of the sun's life? It… Expands until it consumes all of the worlds in its orbit?"

    "Depends on the size. Of course, your system might just continue on indefinitely because magic says so. But the point I was making is that you don't do that just because your special talent is suns."

    Celestia takes a moment to steady her nerves after being confronted with what is for a pony an extremely unpleasant idea. Pony science isn't advanced enough to have even guessed any of that.

    "My special talent is a little broader than that. While it's true that I control the sun, my talent relates to ensuring that my little ponies can live in a world which is stable and predictable. Stabilising the sun's movement around the world was simply the most obvious sign of that."

    I nod. "Fair enough. But to return to the point I was trying to make, it's… It's not just Sunset. A great many ponies who come here don't seem to take the whole 'friendship' thing on board. So even if we take it as read that friendship-orientated education is a good idea, the current way it's being delivered isn't working."

    Celestia nods, closing the book and pushing it aside. And then putting a stack of work to be marked on top of it.

    "What do you suggest?"

    "Well, it… Ah. Seems to me that… Ponies can be a fairly highly strung species, and… Getting their cutie mark is a major life transition. My understanding is that it's normal for ponies with thaumaturgy-related marks to apply or have applications submitted for them almost immediately after getting them."

    "That's right."

    "So… You've got ponies who are in the top percentage of magical ability… For unicorns, who are the most varied of the tribes in the way their magic manifests… And the moment they go through this life-defining experience you remove them from their family and other social support networks and move them to live in a boarding school in the capital city with the goddess-princess of the entire nation watching them. Bit of a… High stress environment."

    "I-. Don't…

    "I don't know exactly how it works for ponies, but that sounds like the sort of things that would make humans… Act out."

    "I see." She adopts a thoughtful pose. "What do you suggest?"

    "Sunset's working on a fixed point to fixed point teleportation system. For the younger students… Just stick one in their homes and let them teleport to school each day. You could keep the boarding facilities for the older students, but I'm… I think letting them transition gradually will reduce the stress and the mark-fixation."

    Celestia sighs very quietly.

    "Do you think that would have helped Sunset?"

    "'Helped'? Honestly, I think you did the best you could for her." Celestia looks at me, pleasantly surprised. "If you hadn't pushed her away like that, she'd never have gotten as far as she has. 'Show Celestia how wrong she was' was a big part of her motivation." Her smile vanishes. "Though I appreciate that probably wasn't what you were aiming for."

    "… No. I will speak about the removal of the option for boarding with the school staff. When will Sunset be able to arrange a demonstration?"

    "Ah, a couple of days. She's having trouble adjusting to teaching completely magically illiterate students, so lesson planning is taking more of her time than she originally thought it would."

    Celestia perks up a little at that.

    "Do you think she would object to my help?"

    "No? Probably not? Why do you ask?"

    "After the defeat of Discord, Luna and I had the greatest knowledge of magic of any save for Starswirl himself. We taught the basics of magic to many students all across ponydom. I'm sure that I can manage a class of humans."



    Should be interesting, anyway.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2022
  10. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    I you want -> If you want
     
  11. Akshka

    Akshka Wait, am I lost?

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    oh Celestia never taunt Murphy
     
  12. Lazurman

    Lazurman That Others May Fap

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    I don't even watch MLP, and that got a massive kek outta me. Bravo.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, he redesigned Warhammer 40,000. Though I was aware that there was at least one 9th Edition project.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  14. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    What!? How does that even work! Almost all Pony's are naked at all times!
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'has reached'

    Yeah, don't do that, you just tend to sound like a douche.

    This feels weird.

    Maybe it's a British thing, but I don't think it should be 'it as read'.

    Maybe 'it as fact'

    'live in a'
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2021
  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    This should be '2012'
     
  17. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Off the top of my head? I suspect it involved shaving off someone's coat of hair.
     
  18. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Sunburst, you naughty stallion you, what did you do? :D
     
  19. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Ah, Renegade... Always walking with the weight of the world on your shoulders? Isn't this the whole reason you built a band of sensible, skilled allies who can handle things when they come up? Or is this matter more... Personal?

    To be fair, The Pegasi tend to take care of teaching their own forms of 'magic' themselves in their towns. And The Earth Ponies... Well, most tend to follow their parent's career and thus learn at their withers, or leave home young enough that they can find a new career...

    Joy of being an alicorn that's practically part draught-horse. I would not be surprised if he couldn't bump her about just with his own weight in this form. Unless she cheats with magic.

    I suspect that fight would be messy, in multiple senses of the word. Not only the emotional aspect, but Luna's need to focus on combat skills since her meeting Grayven... A true warrior princess.

    How well she acts on what she's told, I suspect, is best left to the imagination. Because the reality is probably a little disappointing.

    ...I take it Twilight's more neurotic tendencies aren't atypical, merely... better directed?

    ...A surprisingly appropriate selection of names for their crimes. Although... :confused: What would indecent exposure consist of for ponies, who generally go nude most of the time? Rearing up to show off his.. rampant Stallionhood? :oops:

    ...Oh, dear. I don't think you really want to know, but just to be on the safe side, so you don't trigger one accidentally...

    And you might say, her price might well be a king's ransom? :V ... :confused: Too much? :D

    ...Yeah, that might undo all the work to build her up in the first place...

    Ah, you found the section on Novae? Please, if you thought that's bad, don't read on to the parts about Supernovae and Black Holes...

    Well, for a normal star, yes... Equestria is anything but normal, though.

    Though I suspect it's slowly marching out of the medieval period. What with the steam engines and all...

    Twilight being a case in extremes. Seriously, the filly ditched all her old friends when she got elevated to Celestia's personal student, right? That ain't healthy.

    Bet she'll be having some scary dreams tonight...

    "Yer a Wizard, Twilight!" But seriously, that can be a bit awkward. It reminds me of the X-Men, though new students there tend to need to be rescued, what with the aggressive racism of the Marvel universe,

    Ouch. Grayven, maybe you could have eased her into the idea a bit slower? I mean, making her realise she's been doing it wrong all these years?

    On the upside, she certainly gets points for taking the idea seriously. Some would probably have dismissed it out of hand.

    :confused: ...Wow, that is... Upscale that to a nation-wide system and you'd basically re-invent pony society. Just the ability to get supplies to places at risk during disasters... I fancy it's a lot like the Paragon's Dolmen Gate network, eh?

    Nor the manner in which she did it, I bet.

    Heh, not so easy, is it, Sunset? Bet she's feeling just a little sympathy for her teachers now.

    Well, for a start, it's a good chance to do some bonding as colleagues. Let Sunset get Celestia out of that box labelled 'stupid big sunbutt jerk'...

    Be sure to set some time aside for them to get used to your... Presence. Between the 'Holy shit, it's a horse!' and 'Oh my god, she's so beautiful!' extremes, there's bound to be a whole spectrum of reactions...

    Ah, Grayven. Keep shaking up Pony society. I'm sure Discord is sitting a very large, very safe distance away watching ponies get confused, bemused and shocked by your actions. And on the upside, he's also giving Celestia chances to improve her relationship with Sunset. Very important when said Alicorn is now more or less a peer, if not a full equal.
     
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They might have already gotten used to it if they've seen Luna.
     
  21. Gazing Eye

    Gazing Eye Compound, Lidless, Always Watching.

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    I imagine it would involve unsheathing ones sword due to a pretty mare being spotted :p
     
  22. FeepingCreature

    FeepingCreature Not too sore, are you?

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    Young Justice, Pony Edition? "Recognized, Twilight Sparkle."
     
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  23. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    Yes, that is in fact ten to the twenty-six horsepower, and ten to the thirty-four Joules. You didn't misread it.
    Wearing a saddle in public. Getting horn. Bit and bridle.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2021
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    That's what it means.
    A double what?
    Thank you, corrected.
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2021
  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Sorry, I meant to say douche.
     
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  26. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Once again you twist and warp a setting so that the SI can ‘prove’ how wise and correct they are.
     
  27. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Versed in the lewd.

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    No it's not a typo, it's a fraudian slip.

    "I you want, you want I! We be wanting! Growl!"
     
  28. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Don't explain the joke.
     
  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Let's look at the canon chaarcters who went to the School. Twilight, who left a neurotic mess. Sunset, who went on to turn herself into a demon and try to take over the country with an army of brainwashed teenagers. Sunburst, unemployed shut-in. Moondancer, also neurotic mess. And while Twilight's other friends don't look crazy, despite in theory being the brightest stars of their generation they contributed nothing to any of the nation's problems in the series.
     
  30. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Not significantly divergent from the baseline.

    Massive threats? Starlight Glimmer. Star Swirl and or Stygian.
    Maladjusted jerks? Hooffields and McColts. Lightning Dust.
    Anti-social shut-ins? Fluttershy. All but 1 of the Kirin.

    Equestria, or rather the parts of Equestria that get screen time, is full of nutters who need the mane cast to come along and problem solve at them. Such is the nature of the show.
    A worldbuilder can take the view that the nutters are the interesting bit and the rest functions fine. Or they can do as you have and take the nutters to be representative. That in itself isn’t bad, as it can be an interesting thing to explore. Except here we aren’t exploring it. It is just yet another excuse for Grayven to trot in and tell the MLP cast that they are Doing It Wrong. Again.
     
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