Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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It's a combination of 'vanta' from 'vantablack' and vendi comes from me not understanding Starbucks cup sizes.
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It's a combination of 'vanta' from 'vantablack' and vendi comes from me not understanding Starbucks cup sizes.
And now those substitutions will be provided by a nature goddess.
Okay, but still, Euanthe is going to be the one providing the Danner Formula from now on, right? Through magical plant alchemy, as opposed to DIY jungle laboratory alchemy. Regardless of effectiveness.There's been no indication that Zoat has the Sons of Dawn having an inferior version of the Danner formula.
As I've already noted, there isn't much of the story he's actually using.
It's a combination of 'vanta' from 'vantablack' and vendi comes from me not understanding Starbucks cup sizes.
Then I imagine that the two of you would get on well enough. She was something of a Lucifer-loyalist
I shake my head. "No. I'm just relieved that I've got one less arbitrarily powerful entity to deal with
"Lucifer would be perfectly capable of granting an aspect of his character their own agency. Though it would be uncharacteristic for him to create someone purely as a pawn
No. Nothing for a recent inductee named Jill Carlyle and nothing for any of these people." He smiles. "What a remarkably virtuous collection."
That's not going to draw unwanted attention from Hades is it? Because he was not too long ago got ticked off by the Silver City taking something that rightfully belongs to him.I take a moment to look around. "I see that you've remodelled."
"My power rests on the support of my subjects… But it's my power. I felt that the Greek model of an enlightened tyrant was better than anything suggesting hereditary.. kingship."
I really didn't expect this. How many demons really think Paul is related to Lucifer in some way? This also makes me wish he and Paul would meet and find that they like each other's company."I ask because there's been a certain amount of… Idle speculation. Concerning your true nature."
"I've been fairly open about my origin."
"Yes, but we're not known for honesty or faithfulness down here, and we're biased to assuming that others share our habits. Your appearance in the wake of his final vanishing act, your attitudes, your ascent in the ranks of power… Your mystically-obscured name, even your totemic bond with a great serpent-."
"You think I'm Lucifer?"
"The possibility has been mooted. In certain circles."
"You think I'm actually Lucifer, or just some creation of his?"
"Lucifer would be perfectly capable of granting an aspect of his character their own agency. Though it would be uncharacteristic for him to create someone purely as a pawn."
"To the best of my knowledge, I am neither Lucifer nor a creation of his."
"But it's not as if we can check, is it? But…" He waves his right hand. "Idle speculation. And we've drifted away from the subject of your visit."
This seems like some long con which will come to a head soon. Is someone in Hell doing what the Silver City recently did and using souls as some sort of battery?"Do you know what this means?"
"Demons are failing to detect sins?"
He looks horrified.
"We'll be ruined! I've built my premiership on the idea that I'm a safe pair of hands, and I had no idea that someone was dodging-. People come up with ways of dodging Hell all the time, and some of them work for decades. This, we didn't even know this was happening!"
Is this going to be a new character, or an obscure one? Because the only one I can think of are the Arkannone."The murderer was using possessed handguns, but-."
"Wouldn't have been enough. Even if the demon in the guns got greedy, we'd still have a record of their sins. What gun was it?"
"I don't know their names. The guns the Crimson Avenger used to use."
"Them? Yes, we know who they are." He heaves his bulk out of his seat and strolls down the podium. "Why don't we go call 'em up right away?"
Thank you, corrected.
The guns metaphysically wiped out their sins?"Problem?"
"Nothing. According to our records, not one of them so much as coveted their neighbours ass for even a moment."
"Is that possible?"
"The odds against it are steep, so say the least. Where they all warrior-saints raised in monasteries?"
"One was a nazi. Several of them were killers."
"Do you know what this means?"
I generally just say 'largest size,' since paying attention to pretentious terminology isn't something I'm going to bother with if I'm in that much need of coffee. I'm almost certainly not the only one who does something like that.
I don't think that's what they did in the comics, but this isn't the same timeline as the comics.
It's not like we can prove that Zoat isn't an aspect of Lucifer (proving a negative is rather tricky).Paul being an aspect of Lucifer makes a lot of sense when you think about it. If Zoat decided to make it true it wouldn't be a bad twist.
That's not going to draw unwanted attention from Hades is it? Because he was not too long ago got ticked off by the Silver City taking something that rightfully belongs to him.
Paul being an aspect of Lucifer makes a lot of sense when you think about it. If Zoat decided to make it true it wouldn't be a bad twist.
Huh, to be honest, would Paul know if he was unbound aspect of lucifer that had a fake set of memories made.
I mean we know he's not, but we only know that because of the big SI tag on the story. To the paul in the story his origin is More mythically unreachable than krypton, or shangri-la. Its a world he can't interact with even during an infinite crisis. It would be equally plot relevant if it didn't exist at all.
Its only his own arrogance that makes him assume he's an out of context problem and not the creation of a well informed Power.
It would explain why he is so omnipresent and varied, and important enough to the timeline to be worthy of sticking on a tuning fork.Huh, to be honest, would Paul know if he was unbound aspect of lucifer that had a fake set of memories made.
I generally just say 'largest size,' since paying attention to pretentious terminology isn't something I'm going to bother with if I'm in that much need of coffee. I'm almost certainly not the only one who does something like that.
Now this is getting even more interesting, since it seems like the guns were doing more than just killing people.
Could they be soul destroying their victims so they leave no record of their sins?
"Bless it" made me smile. I'm going to start cursing that way and my friends are going to be SO confused.But you're right; that might mollify them. Bless it, we need to get on this immediately.
Sucks to be you then."And how do you feel about a cosmology ruled by a single, all-powerful, all-knowing and all-righteous divinity?"
"I'm against it. I'd rather that people be free to make a mess of things."
The real twist would be IRL Zoat revealing himself in public to be Lucifer.It's not like we can prove that Zoat isn't an aspect of Lucifer (proving a negative is rather tricky).
I see Mammon's doing quite well for himself. Putting on a pleasant show for his mortal colleague. Or for his rivals. Demons tend to be rather shallow in terms in perception, so playing the decadent fop might distract them from his intellect.21st October 2012
20:27 GMT
Trailing grape vines wrapped around pillars of white marble, freezes decorated in the classical style and a small band in the corner playing medieval music.
And a colossally corpulent demon sitting on a throne at the head of the room.
Cribbing a little from Erebus, and Hades' throne room, eh? Well, if you're going to steal, steal from the best."Illustres, m'boy!" Mammon smiles broadly, raising… In all fairness, relatively muscular arms, in greeting. "What can the President of Hell do for you today?"
I take a moment to look around. "I see that you've remodelled."
Also, it's the way OL would rule a place, if he were so inclined..."My power rests on the support of my subjects… But it's my power. I felt that the Greek model of an enlightened tyrant was better than anything suggesting hereditary.. kingship."
"And styling yourself as a king would suggest that you ultimately wanted direct control of all nine circles, whereas if you look fat and happy-"
Anyone loyal to the old leadership would be suspect, and anyone one new would have to be dangerously powerful to gain their new underlings' respect..."Which I do and am!"
"-it reassures the others that you aren't interested in the Crown of Horns. Though on the subject of expansion, have you appointed a ruler to The Odium yet? I imagine that putting one of the senior Renderers-."
I mean, while you don't have the Sword of the Fallen anymore, there's always angel-feather railgun rounds..."Ah." He actually manages to look a little awkward. "No. As it turns out, there was an outstanding candidate. So outstanding, in fact, that appointing anyone else would have looked ridiculous. And since my ruling council is consent-based…"
"Anyone I need to worry about?"
Which leaves so much room for speculation about unknowing dealings. That's going to itch at the Lords of Hell's suspicious natures.
Even more amusing when you consider the nature of a comic-book world, and the many writers that have shaped it..."And how do you feel about a cosmology ruled by a single, all-powerful, all-knowing and all-righteous divinity?"
"I'm against it. I'd rather that people be free to make a mess of things."
Nice to have that finally confirmed in-story."Then I imagine that the two of you would get on well enough. She was something of a Lucifer-loyalist, but that ardour appears to have been dimmed by him abandoning creation."
"He's gone? You're sure that he's actually left?"
Though I can't imagine Mr Zoat is looking forwards to writing her distinct speech patterns. The kind that come from having half her face be a burnt, rotted ruin..."With beings like Lucifer it's almost impossible to be completely certain. But Lady Mazikeen was his consort for a very long time. If she thinks that he's gone, then it's as good as true." He leans forward slightly. "Unless you know differently?"
I shake my head. "No. I'm just relieved that I've got one less arbitrarily powerful entity to deal with."
Though not too open. He's still sitting on the 'You're all fictional characters in my universe.' reveal. I expect that will come out someday."I ask because there's been a certain amount of… Idle speculation. Concerning your true nature."
"I've been fairly open about my origin."
Well, looking at it... Mammon does have a point, there are a lot of suspicious similarities and anomalies."Yes, but we're not known for honesty or faithfulness down here, and we're biased to assuming that others share our habits. Your appearance in the wake of his final vanishing act, your attitudes, your ascent in the ranks of power… Your mystically-obscured name, even your totemic bond with a great serpent-."
"You think I'm Lucifer?"
To be fair, how do you know you aren't? I mean, we know it's not so, but can you be absolutely sure in-universe?"The possibility has been mooted. In certain circles."
"You think I'm actually Lucifer, or just some creation of his?"
And honestly, what would it matter if you were or not? Would it make a difference to what you do?"Lucifer would be perfectly capable of granting an aspect of his character their own agency. Though it would be uncharacteristic for him to create someone purely as a pawn."
"To the best of my knowledge, I am neither Lucifer nor a creation of his."
And finally, he gets to the point of this little look-in. But, proprieties must be maintained..."But it's not as if we can check, is it? But…" He waves his right hand. "Idle speculation. And we've drifted away from the subject of your visit."
"I'm looking for the soul of a woman named Jill Carlyle. Died a few hours ago after murdering quite a few people."
Good, crossing the 't's and dotting the 'i's."If she came to Hell and retained coherence, she would have gone to Internecia. I will summon the lists."
"There are a few other names I'd like to check out as well." I fabricate an updated list of Crimson Avenger's victims and-. And pass it to a demonic flunky in robes who scurries across the floor and up the podium to Mammon's side with remarkable speed. "Would-be heroes who might have-"
No doubt running the mystical equivalent of a search engine on it.A huge book resting on an equally huge lectern appears next to Mammon, cover opening and pages turning as he looks over my list.
After a few moments the book stops.
...'Virtuous'? OL, you did include White Dragon's name on that list?"No. Nothing for a recent inductee named Jill Carlyle and nothing for any of these people." He smiles. "What a remarkably virtuous collection."
"Okay, do you have anything on their sins? I assume that those would be recorded even if they didn't end up coming here?"
"...What do you mean, 'no results found'? Ugh, this is worse than Lex-icon!""Yes, we're subcontractors for a variety of places that find it more efficient for us to do their legwork for them." He smiles. "Sloth. It was such a wonderful invention."
He claps his hands and another lectern with an even larger book appears on his opposite side. The pages don't move, prompting a mild frown.
Man, doing it manually? How medieval!"Strange."
He grips the cover with his left hand and starts flicking through it with his right, slowly at first by quickly gathering speed until the pages move in a blur, the back cover slamming shut a moment alter.
Well, that seems incredibly improbable."Problem?"
"Nothing. According to our records, not one of them so much as coveted their neighbours ass for even a moment."
...I find that highly unlikely."Is that possible?"
"The odds against it are steep, so say the least. Where they all warrior-saints raised in monasteries?"
Someone's mucking about in your business?"One was a nazi. Several of them were killers."
"Do you know what this means?"
I know, it sounds horrifying, right? It would cause the collapse of Hell's economy...
Oh, they are so doomed. I mean, if he wants to keep this secret... Or he can bring it to the other Lords and play the hero..."We'll be ruined! I've built my premiership on the idea that I'm a safe pair of hands, and I had no idea that someone was dodging-. People come up with ways of dodging Hell all the time, and some of them work for decades. This, we didn't even know this was happening!"
The musicians stop, cringing. Mammon notices and waves at them to carry on as he calms himself.
After all, if someone's nibbling at the wobbly pillars holding him up... It's either 'stop them' or 'come tumbling down'."I can trust you to investigate?"
He nods, the books and lecterns vanishing in a puff of pure white cloud. "For my own sake, as much as anything else."
Ah, demonic vocabulary. At least we can understand it, at least, unlike stuff like 'Kill Six Billion Demons' patter."Thank you. And don't feel too bad about it. You found out because of your alliance with me. The other Lords of Hell don't have anything similar."
"That you know about. But you're right; that might mollify them. Bless it, we need to get on this immediately. Do you have any idea what might have caused this?"
Hmm... But can you be sure of that? What if it were some off-the-books project? Or the work of the Silver City?"The murderer was using possessed handguns, but-."
"Wouldn't have been enough. Even if the demon in the guns got greedy, we'd still have a record of their sins. What gun was it?"
Oh-ho! This will be fascinating. I wonder what they'll have to say for themselves?"I don't know their names. The guns the Crimson Avenger used to use."
"Them? Yes, we know who they are." He heaves his bulk out of his seat and strolls down the podium. "Why don't we go call 'em up right away?"
Adding the -'s in the right places...
Though I can't imagine Mr Zoat is looking forwards to writing her distinct speech patterns. The kind that come from having half her face be a burnt, rotted ruin...