An Undertow of Sand (Percy Jackson and the Cthulhu Mythos)

An Undertow of Sand
A PJO Fanfiction
​

“Be quick,” Hiraya hissed as she stopped the car.

“Sorry,” Luke muttered as he unbuckled.

“You too, dark boy.” The vampire glanced out her window a little nervously, back towards where the small pod of jellyfish the size of whales floated over the highway. We left the main road about ten minutes ago and I could still see their bioluminescent blue light strobing down their bodies and the shadows of their tentacles searching the ground below them.

Nope.

“Might not get another chance,” I said quickly as I unbuckled. Dying was bad, but getting killed with a full bladder was just the worst. “Gotcha.”

“Wait!” Artemis called out right before I left the car to hit the rest stop too. “I - um. I need your help, Perseus. Please.” The moon rabbit looked up at me with big, wet silver eyes, looking absolutely miserable. She raised a paw to pathetically point at the darkened restroom signs. “I also need to use the bathroom…”

I looked at the women’s bathroom sign too.

“You need…help,” I said numbly.

The rabbit nodded quickly.

I heard the vampire let out an amused huff as she fiddled with the same kind of expensive flip phone my Dad had. Who knows what the reception was like out here.

“Uh.” I stared at Artemis for a moment. “Sure.”

A few minutes later, I caught up to Luke outside the boy’s room. This rest stop was a lot smaller than the last one. No food court, just a hallway of vending machines and a small gift shop with a wall dedicated to maps and brochures. It was also completely abandoned with all the lights off and no one around. I found Luke eyeing the keyhole on the soda vending machine thoughtfully with what looked like a keyring full of lockpicks in his hand.

“You actually had to break out the tools?”

He jumped, flashing me in the face with his light before flicking it away.

“Don’t - don’t do that.” He breathed out slowly and pocketed his key ring. “And, yeah, security was still on. Didn’t want to make a mistake,” he said like lockpicks just work for electronic alarms too, duh? He pushed the door open to the men’s bathrooms. “Should’ve turned on the lights, didn’t know you were coming too.”

“Was a little held up,” I said.

Confession time:

I tossed the rabbit into a fucking bush.

Maybe that makes me the asshole this time, I know!

But come on. If you actually thought I was going to sit there, in the little girl’s room, in the dark, helping the bunny take a dump so she didn’t drown in the toilet?

You don’t know me very well.

It was a nice bush, a short dash to the car, but still out of the way. Lots of privacy. I didn’t go full Greek! I’m pretty sure I would regret actually helping her more.

Because this place was giving me the creeps.

The building still had electricity, but when we turned the lights on, what should have been bright fluorescent light came out as a really dim, flickering gleam. It just made the dark shadows look like they were moving. This high pitched whining sound started coming from the ceiling when Luke flushed.

Have you ever tried to pee while starring in a horror movie?

It -

It doesn’t work.

Luke started almost violently when he looked up into the mirror after turning off the water faucet. He almost lunged for his lighter.

“Don’t.” I tugged on his vest. “Just dry your hands.”

“I thought - in the reflection?“ He breathed out shakily. “I thought I saw - “

“You did,” I admitted.

I grabbed some paper towels and shoved a bunch into his hands. Rhea must have done something to our flashlights, because their light was untouched by shadows. Luke’s electronic torch was far brighter than the lights in the ceiling. It was lighting up the pale blue tiling on the wall. Facing the wrong way, but enough of it reflected back at us to make his eyes shine weirdly.

“He’s harmless, as long as you don’t stare. Let’s go.”

The disappointed specter haunting the mirror with hollow eyes and gaping mouth mournfully watched us leave the bathroom.

“Wait, wait - “ Luke pulled up short. “I need - I have to - “

I turned around and watched as Luke almost frantically mugged the soda vending machine for a Dr. Pepper and all of its lunch money.

“Um.”

“I know,” he said shortly. He shoved a handful of quarters into his pocket to clink around with his lighter.

I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. “I didn’t say anything,” I mumbled.

“I don’t need the money,” Luke muttered, like he was trying to convince himself. “You’re loaded. I don’t need it. I don’t. It’s just - “ He folded up the stolen dollar bills to put in his back pocket and then tossed me a Coke can. “Sometimes I just need to steal something.” He moodily stared at the open guts of the machine. “And I didn’t get to keep the last thing I stole.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, just as bummed. “That kinda sucked.”

“Kinda,” Luke growled.

“Still mad?”

“Furious.”

“Alright.”

And I thought Apollo was bad. This dude knows how to hold a grudge.

Luke rummaged around in the machine, coming up with a Sprite and a Mountain Dew Live Wire - hold up, they brought that back this summer too?

Sweet!

I motioned for one and we both stuffed our ill gotten gains into our backpacks. Cracking them open later was going to be a mess, but that was half the fun of it.

“So, kleptomania?”

Luke almost flinched. “It’s…”

“Hermes’ thing?” That explained a lot about the Stolls’ sticky fingers.

“I hate it,” Luke said. He angrily zipped up his bag. “Hated it. I don’t know.”

“Hey, it’s not something to be ashamed of,” I told him. “We can’t help what we inherit. I had to be trained out of biting people.”

Some kids need hot sauce so they stop sucking on their thumbs and some kids need shock collars to keep their teeth to themselves.

Sam learned the hard way that this random toddler in the Dreamlands will bite him back. The tail pulling upgraded me from ‘demented kitten’ to ‘absolute fucker.’ Dad still has some teeth marks on his shins. Nana gave me my bronze sheep (only the best for teething demigods) so I wouldn’t nibble on her. I gnawed on Apollo too.

Luke’s head turned a little. “Where’d that come from?”

“My - “ I had to stop myself from saying ‘my mother.’

Because I don’t think it did anymore.

I don’t remember ever biting my mother. I do remember her laughingly comparing me to my older brother Aether. Now I know what she really meant. I thought about my grandfather, Chaos and the picture my mother had shown me. A creature within the void, mindlessly devouring stars.

“Granddad.”

Luke started to nod and then froze.

“Your grandfather,” he said flatly. “As in…?” I nodded. His eyebrows then scrunched together. “Right. Okay. I did not know inheriting from divine grandparents was possible.”

“Why not?” I said, confused as I followed him out the door. “They’re family too?”

“Gods don’t have genes,” Luke snarked and then he stopped dead right outside. He stood like a statue in front of the trash bin on the curb with the overflowing ashtray on top. He slowly turned to look at me as I let the door swing shut behind us.

I watched his face go from alarm to nauseated to dread, like he just realized something he’d rather not.

“That wasn’t a question,” he said quickly. He waved a hand and the lock clicked shut. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”

I smiled innocently. Luke cringed.

Confession time #2:

I have no idea if he’s right or not. I never asked. I just finished sixth grade, which means I know how to play Tic Tac Toe with hair colors and what DNA is made of.

I’ll put it on the list.

Luke turned on a heel and started walking. I hurried to catch up to him.

“You sure you don’t want to know?”

“Very.”

“What happened to ‘I must ask questions’ a few days ago?”

“No.”

“You scared of the answer?” He didn’t reply. I bent my arms into wings and flapped them. “Bwak bwak.”

Hiraya glanced up from her phone as we crossed the parking lot back towards the car. “Good,” she said curtly as soon as we got within hearing distance. She looked relieved. “We’re not leaving until - “

“If you got to go, bathrooms are haunted.” I offered, trying to be helpful.

“What - “ She blinked. “Why would you - no, never mind - “

“What is that smell?” Luke asked no one, his steps faltering closer to the car.

“Bathroom’s. Haunted.” I repeated slowly. “Mirror wraiths.” There were a bunch of different types. They were the reason why so many belief systems around the world were dead fucking sure that mirrors could mess with your soul if you weren’t careful.

And they were dead fucking right.

“They suck.”

Hiraya paused, glancing over at the dark rest stop before her nose wrinkled in an almost offended expression for a second. Mandurugo were monsters. Vampires, but that didn’t mean undead. She could burn. She could drown.

She had a soul too. It just wasn’t a mortal one.

“Noted,” she drawled dryly, turning back to me. “Now, your rabbit. Fix it.”

Fix my rabbit?

Uh oh.

We rounded the car and stumbled right into a scene of disaster.

The humiliated bunny stared down at the pavement unmoving and silent, wet rabbit poop caked on the back of her hindlegs. The smell was horrendous. You could tell at a glance this rabbit did not have enough fiber in her diet. She was way too small for all that shit. Had she been holding it?

…she has, hasn’t she. I didn’t even think about how often she was going. I assumed she’d tell us, but now that I think about it…

Does she even realize what having to go to the bathroom means?

…

Luke and I were the worst bunny parents to ever exist in all time.

“Not it!” I said immediately. “You said you wanted to handle her.”

Luke’s head snapped towards me. “Wait, no - “

“So I’m letting you handle her, good luck!” I tried to escape, but Luke was just too fast. I nearly choked when he caught the back of my collar, and I stumbled back into the car. “You said - !”

“I’m still your Camp Counselor,” Luke snarled. “Which means you are helping me!”

“What am I supposed to do!”

“You have tissues, don’t you!?”

I learned the hard way that wet rabbit poop soaks right through toilet paper. Those cheap public restroom towels aren’t worth (literal) shit either.

I regret living.

I shouldn’t have tossed her into the bush.

(oh God)

(I went full Greek!)

We broke into the rest stop again. Where there are public bathrooms, there were cleaning supplies somewhere. I didn’t know if they were going to be too harsh on her skin. Luke didn’t care, planning on just giving her a cube of ambrosia if she got burned.

I am not ashamed to admit that I called Rhea for help.

She’s old as hell.

She has to know if Lysol works on fur.

“Ugh - fine!” I snapped as my first cousin laughed helplessly at me in the flickering rainbow. She got maybe two and a half words out about Aura before she started cackling. “May your cats get fleas and you step on a Lego!”

I’m not calling Cliff.

I’d be hearing about that time my rabbit shit itself forever. He already had enough dirt on me from when I shit myself. I don’t know how long it took cleaning her up and then cleaning the floor up, cleaning ourselves up and throwing away all the used paper towels and rags.

I turned off the water and inspected my jacket carefully.

It looked okay.

I sniffed it.

Smelled okay.

…Artemis can keep wearing this, I don’t need it. It’s fine.

When I got back to the foyer we were using as our headquarters, I found Luke sprawled all over the floor on his back with an arm flung over his eyes. Artemis was huddled underneath an advertisement sign for cigarettes by the vending machine for candy and chips.

“That could have gone worse,” I said.

Luke lifted his arm. “How?”

“She could have let it rip in your vest.”

He snorted. “μαλάκα.”

Malakia. That was Greek for ‘jerk off.’ In a friendly way.

“I thought I was a koala.”

“You’re that too.”

I kicked his leg.

I tossed my jacket over the rabbit. It shrunk into a little winter coat instead of the hoodie, ending far above her haunches with a fluffy collar and a white rabbit frolicking on the back. I guess even my jacket didn’t want to deal with that shit again.

“How’re you feeling, Arty?” I bit my tongue as soon as I said it. “Artemis.”

“...fine,” she said very quietly. “Thank you.”

Luke lifted his hand. “We’ll bury your dignity out back, don’t worry about it. We won’t tell if you don’t.”

“Yeah, I’m taking this one to my grave,” I admitted.

I really felt for Artemis here. If I could mindwipe my school mates of my ‘whoopsie,’ I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Not looking forward to next school year.

“Just…tell us next time,” Luke muttered.

He sounded just like Masayuki after that vicious horse-pigeon dragged me out of the stables. A little wondering, a little resigned and all realizing Mom wasn’t going to smite him for treating me just like everyone else.

Luke never had to learn that with me, but it felt like he had learned something about our rabbit.

“You should have said something about the chafing on the horse. You should have said you needed to go. And…” He rubbed at his face and sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Look, you’re like, six months old or something right now, right?”

She nodded jerkily.

I had to stop myself from giving Luke a confused look when his voice softened. “You get hungry more often than we do?”

She took too long to respond.

The mocking note came back to Luke’s voice, “Arty?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

Luke sighed. “C’mere.”

He dug out the bag of hay from his bag. I made a water run, washing out and cobbling together a small bucket of water for her. Luke surprised us both by revealing that he had bought a small bag of rabbit treats.

He shrugged it off. “I had no idea what to buy. Grabbed it first before the lady came over to help me. I couldn’t just toss it back. I told her I adopted a pet bunny.” He looked hunted. “Would be weird to not get treats?”

I snickered.

Luke scowled at me, but his lips twitched.

The rabbit stared at the offerings for a long moment.

“Wait.” He dug his Dr. Pepper right back out of his backpack and opened it. He let it fizzle a bit on the floor (we just cleaned that) before he seated himself against the wall. He was wedged between a cigarette advertisement stand and the gutted vending machine like he was bunkering up with a soda and a candy bar.

Luke looked at me.

“What?”

He pointedly looked at Artemis’ food and soda.

Oh.

I got out my Snickers.

“You ever gonna say why you don’t want a Name?” Luke started.

The rabbit started a little. She looked up at us. “...I do want it. I want - “ her voice broke. “I want it so badly, but…” She dropped her nose. “Not even the gods fight Fate,” she whispered. “I am afraid. That I would only be setting myself up for an even worse torment for defiance. That it wouldn’t work. That it would be twisted. I - ”

She sniffled.

“I am always afraid…” Her mouth moved with no sound coming out for a moment. “And everything I do is always wrong.”

We didn’t know what to say to that. Not even Luke, who looked almost betrayed. The awkward silence made her shrink into herself and I found myself opening my mouth.

“Apollo says - “ I faltered, but pressed on. “The most important part of the shot is intent. Was he wrong?”

Artemis blinked. “...no. For once.”

I reached over and bopped her nose.

“So what happens,” Luke caught on to what I was getting at. Which was good, because I had no idea where I was going with it. “If you make the shot scared, or depressed or…” It was hard to tell with the light so dim, but I thought I saw the blood drain from Luke’s face as he murmured, “Angry?”

“...you miss,” Artemis said quietly. “Even if it hits, it will always be a bad shot.”

Her little shoulders dropped.

“...I understand.”

“Do you?” Luke said tightly. “If Percy’s idea works, you can help us, to get the Bolt, to - to do something for Camp Half-Blood. And do you know how - bad it feels - you don’t know what it’s like to be Claimed right away and see kids you just know are your siblings not even be acknowledged so they have to sleep on the floor.”

Oof.

Luke smiled at me bitterly. “A year at Camp and I got these shoes - “ he raised a foot to show off his white Sneakers. “On my birthday. My father remembered my birthday and just…ignored everyone else.”

Artemis gasped then, sharp and hurt.

I thought about how much Apollo always brushed it off, whenever it came up just how badly he was the unfavorite child.

“If that’s our parents…”

“I - I will help you,” Artemis said in a small voice. “I will - I swear it,” she blurted out. “By earth and sky, Styx as my witness.”

Done! The ancient river let out a thunderous boom.

Woah.

“Alright,” Luke breathed with wide eyes. “I didn’t - I mean - “ For a second he looked lost, looking at me.

I just stared at her.

An oath on the Styx.

A true one.

“You can’t break that,” I said helplessly. “You can’t - that’s too open ended, even if you got your immortality back - Artemis - “

“Good,” she said simply.

Luke and I exchanged glances.

Don’t look at me, I thought.

She’s lost her mind.

“Alright,” Luke repeated softly. He looked at her thoughtfully. Calculating. “Maybe you’re worth something, after all.”

“I - thank you.” Artemis told the boy she left to monsters four years ago. “And I - I am so sorry.”

“Yeah,” Luke murmured softly. “I am too.” He looked away from both of us. “Eat up.”

Artemis ate as we talked about random shit, mostly about Camp. It was safe. Not like talking about what we were going to do about the Night, or what if the Bolt wasn’t in California or who we were going to ask for a Name for our rabbit, or anything.

Nothing important.

“...you’re fucking with me.”

“Nah, pretty sure. The Syrian form. Lion goddess of Hunting, Horses, Chariots and Warfare.”

Luke’s eyes closed as he leaned his head back.

I waited.

“Aphrodite’s from another pantheon,” Luke finally said.

“Uh, yeah.” From a lot of pantheons. “Mesopotamian, with Names from all over.”

Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she became Names from all over? I’m not sure. I didn’t say anything about her being broken though, so Athena can’t be mad at me.

“So that’s why Silena’s footwork sucks!” Luke suddenly burst out, with an almost wild laugh. “She keeps acting like the ground is supposed to move or like she has four legs instead of two!”

I grinned a little. “She’d be mean on a chariot.”

“Sure, if you can get her on one,” Luke snorted, eyes still closed. “But she’s a sitting duck on her own two feet. That’ll get her killed one day.”

“It won’t,” I said confidently. “Because we won’t let it.”

Luke smiled, but there was something sad about it. “You’re right.”

Artemis let out a shaking, watery sigh, like she was trying not to burst into tears.

---

Hiraya let out a long hiss as she parked her car, like someone stuck her with a pin and was squeezing the air out of the vampire balloon.

“We’re here,” she said softly.

I looked out the window.

I don’t know what I expected, but all I saw when looking out was a regular looking roadside diner.

There were a few dingy looking cars parked in the huge parking lot next to us in front of the long building that looked like any other diner from the southern US. Square windows with closed blinds were lit up with dim yellow light, brown siding and a friendly sign on the front door that looked like ‘Wee’r Oepn!’ when I squinted.

The only thing weird was that it didn’t have a name.

“So, this is it?” Luke muttered. He stared up at the diner. Artemis looked around from his vest. Her nose twitched rapidly and her ears were straight up and alert. We were on the outskirts of some small town, right before the speed limit was slashed for the third time to 25mph so the local police department could pay their bills with ticket money.

You know I’m right.

The town looked abandoned. Dim street lights flickered, half of them burnt out and not a soul around. The windows of all the squat buildings nearby were dark, even the gas station.

Hiraya snatched the sunglasses off my face. “Remember the rules, dark boy” she stated simply as she tossed them back to me.

I tried to frown at her. “Now?”

Her ghost was no longer drowning. It stared into my eyes thoughtfully, as if considering something. It made me uncomfortable, because hers was the third ghost of hundreds I’ve seen that felt like they were seeing me at the moment of their death. Luke’s was bad enough.

Cliff’s was worse.

“Yes, now,” she drawled, crossing her arms. “As soon as we get through that door, be on your guard. All here are civilized,” she sneered. Her lips curled back from her sharp teeth. “But sometimes seeing weakness gets the better of us.”

Her ghost’s four wings splayed out behind it proudly as if to draw attention. Its eyes darted to the side as it said something. The answer it got turned its eyes back, a brief triumphant smile, then it lunged in a blur, pushing something or someone out of the way and then -

Her ghost vanished.

“And mortals are so very weak.”

Out of the corner of my eye, Luke’s ghost stared at me, pleading as the dark claw was pulled back through his chest. Artemis’ ghost flailed for a moment, then flattened into a bloody pulp of fur and bone. The BMW was a stripped down car frame missing all its wheels and looking like something had taken a bite out of the front. The pavement under our feet was crumbled and overgrown, most of the curb was gone. The town itself went from empty to a ruin like a tornado or tidal wave swept through it. Trash and debris everywhere, telephone poles snapped like twigs and hollowed out broken buildings.

Hiraya’s ghost was gone.

I don’t know what that means, but I knew I didn’t like it.

Hiraya’s living form raised an eyebrow at me. “What now?”

“Not much.” I lied as I hooked my sunglasses onto the collar of my shirt. My stomach scrunched into a little ball once and then slowly relaxed. “You won’t drown anymore.”

“Tch.” Hiraya sounded annoyed, but she looked a little relieved as she turned away and waved for us to follow.

“Wait,” I blurted out. “When you mean, follow your lead - “

“I mean pretend a little less that you don’t have fangs, hemitheos.” The vampire’s purple eyes glowed as she glanced back at me. “And stay close.”

My mind raced as I trudged behind her.

This was reminding me of that one time I crashed a monster den with Eva, because I was a dumb kid clinging to what I thought I was supposed to be like. A mortal half-blood. And then she got grounded for taking me and then she was gone.

Mom?

Her attention sparkled, curious.

Distant.

I was on my own.

Hiraya glanced over us as she reached for the door handle, avoiding my eyes in favor of watching Luke stuff a rabbit down his vest. She brushed some of her dark hair behind her ear and tilted her head, listening to the inside.

I couldn’t hear anything through the closed door, but I could smell something.

Blood.

Pretend I have fangs.

The door opened.

I’ll be honest.

“I - huh.”

I was expecting a monster fight club and got Mesoamerican IHOP.

As soon as Luke saw the place, he stumbled backwards with a shout.

“Fu - !” He clamped his lips shut, growling the rest of it through his nose like a bull.

His eyes darted everywhere, taking in the leather seats at the edges for when the seating area was full. There was a sign with a stick person sitting and some kind of writing I could almost read. The walls were a cool mix of dark wood and black tile. The ceiling was dominated by a huge circular stone tablet. An Aztec calendar. The Northern symbols of Death and Jaguar were glowing. Artemis poked her head out of Luke’s vest, took one look at the ceiling, whimpered and ducked back out of sight.

I raised my hand.

“Didn’t you guys all die?”

Hiraya glared at me.

Oh, right. The rules.

Oops.

The woman behind the small front counter with a cup full of pens and menus beside her marked her page with a bright yellow bookmark. She was wearing a very colorful wool poncho shirt covered in square patterns and a white eye patch covering her left eye. She looked up at us with a dark hazel eye, flecked with gold.

“And what is death?” She asked back as she closed her book. Her ghost could have been peacefully slumbering. “But the sleep of the gods?”

“That’s fair,” I admitted.

The entire back wall behind her was a fleshy growth covered in human eyes.

There were blues, greens, browns, hazelsl, grays and even the pinks of albinos looking in all directions. Some were cloudy with cataracts or old injuries. Some were bloodshot, some had pink eye, some had the whites tinged yellow, some looked infected, torn up and bleeding, swollen, had two pupils and all kinds of issues. It was like looking at a tapestry made up of a sample of every human eye in the world. A mummy was in the center, coming out of the wall like she was behind the wall and just put her torso through like it was a pane of plastic wrap. The skin was pulled tight around the skeleton and she had one hand reaching out. It reminded me of the Oracle of Delphi, both were desiccated corpses. Felt kind of like her too, but sharp and thirsty.

The mummy had one empty eye socket.

The other one stared at us with a fresh dark hazel eye, flecked with gold.

“Welcome, brother,” the Aztec Oracle murmured, looking at me curiously.

Yup.

Oracle of Chthon crap still sucked.

The Aztec had thirteen of them. Had. As far as Apollo knew, the Spanish burned the last one on a pyre. Not that he blamed them, because half the Aztecs were ‘creepy, sadomasochistic basketball jocks’ from the dimension next door.

But Oracle spirits are hard to kill.

She might be the Sun Voice. I was basing that on the effigy of eyes, because I wasn’t about to ask her which one she was.

In case she thought I actually knew what I was doing.

Both of her eyes shifted to look at Hiraya. “Kulam.” The vampire stiffened. “I told you last time that you would not return.”

“It seems you were mistaken,” Hiraya said tightly.

Telling the vampire about her death…she never said anything or even hinted at it, but it must have meant a lot for her to risk coming back here, to defy an Oracle’s word like this. If this went bad, there was nothing any of us could do.

The long tense silence was filled with dread.

The effigy’s hazel eye found me again as its host then smiled at us. “It seems I was. You will find what you are after here. Let it come to you.” The knot of tension in Hiraya’s shoulders eased. “How is the heart?”

“Fine.”

The woman slid off her seat with a boneless grace. “Seating for two?”

It was my turn to stiffen.

“He’s not food,” I said coldly. Even Khione wasn’t this bad. She at least acknowledged him. “He’s with me. Seating for three.”

The Sun (?) Voice didn’t look offended or embarrassed as she picked up a third menu. “Of course. Any preferences for seating?”

“Got a - “ Then I realized I was definitely not following a certain someone’s lead anymore.

I turned to Hiraya.

I turned away from Hiraya.

The look on her face scared me.

“Got a booth?”

It turned out there was a free booth.

“Perce,” Luke hissed into my ear.

“I know.”

Something pretending to be a regular human woman was at a small table with a coffee and a newspaper. I could see the shape of this squiggly thing behind her half in and half out of our reality, tendrils burrowed into her back. The koosh ball monster wiggled at me, a crooning, watery call burbled against the inside of my skull.

Uh.

Hi. I nodded at it. Nice to meet you too.

“They are all monsters!”

“Yeah.”

“Be quiet!” Artemis squeaked.

“Yes,” Hiraya said evenly from behind us. “We can hear you.”

A very tall, very thin, very pale man in a black top hat and clothes with long fingers and no eyes delicately cut into his dessert, but I could feel him looking at us. There were evil looking werewolf creatures with three heads in the corner tearing into bloody meat and the bartender was a ben síde, a banshee, with stropy scars down her face like she tried to tear her deep black eyes out. The back of my neck was a constant buzz of danger. I knew just from looking around why Hiraya was worried about losing sight of Luke. She was worried about never getting him back. The place smelled like a butcher’s shop and the meat wasn’t just from animals.

My stomach growled.

A ‘customer’ roughly bumped me in their rush back to their table. I had a flash of blinding fear when I felt Luke’s grip on my shoulder loosen.

I turned, lashing out with a hand to grab onto one spindly arm and twisted.

“Ah! Hey, hey, hey, you little fuck - “ The monster was all limbs, almost like a Hollywood Gray alien except instead of a head, there was just a gray eyestalk with a huge orange eye. The pupil was a long rectangle like a goat’s turned sideways. Its mouth was in the center of its chest, a bloody diamond hole lined with sharp suckers.

It also sounded like Mr. D with an accent straight out of New Jersey.

“Oh shit,” it warbled as it stared at me. “Oh fuck.”

I felt the growl build in my chest as Luke stepped behind me.

“Watch where you’re going,” I snapped. I felt like there was a pile of pebbles in the back of my throat. “Or I’m taking your eye.”

“Yes!” It yelped as it tugged on the arm I had trapped. I let it go and it fell over in a scramble of six limbs. “Sorry, man! Sorry - uh, Great Dude?”

I stared after it for a second.

Great Dude?

Shit.

I really didn’t want to actually like the guy.

Not that it mattered. He stumbled into someone else in a panic, something that looked like a man sized praying mantis and he lost his eye anyway.

“Thanks,” Luke whispered shakily. “Everyone else was watching.”

It was like Hiraya said. Waiting for weakness.

Our one eyed waitress politely stepped over what looked a lot like the remains of a human leg that had fallen off the table where a family of ghouls were eating. An actual family, with a papa ghul in a stained business suit, a mama ghula in desert rags and a diseased looking vulture pecking at the meat alongside a baby ghoul. They were gray-skinned with bulging eyes, mouths full of needle-like teeth and slits for noses.

Papa Ghul sniffed. “Blood sucker.”

Hiraya sneered. “Corpse eater.”

He sniffed again. Luke’s grip on my shoulder was starting to hurt as hungry eyes turned on us. The monster’s ghost looked like he would really piss someone off in the future.

The cruel, toothy grin from my childhood settled easily onto my face.

“Meat,” I drawled.

He only met my eyes for a second, before turning back to his meal, muttering something. How were we supposed to find help here? Everywhere we looked, there were creatures of dark legends or beings that didn’t belong on Earth at all feasting in their version of Ruby Tuesday.

Except for this one human schmuck at the bar in sweatpants and white T-shirt petting a huge black dog with an eye-searing pink collar.

“Here we are,” the Sun Voice (?) said as she led us to an open booth seating across from the bar. Hiraya subtly motioned for me to take a seat first. I didn’t bother opening my menu, no matter how much my stomach clenched unhappily. Luke sat on the other side like he had a rod up his butt. He stiffened further when Hiraya sat next to him and then scooted away.

“I’m fine,” the vampire told the Sun Voice, jerking a thumb at him.

The Oracle smiled blandly. “Should you change your mind, I will know.”

“You use your fortune telling powers to take orders?” I asked.

“Why not?”

She had me there.

“Are you not going to order?” Hiraya gave me a look once we were left alone. Unfriendly eyes bored into the back of my head. I didn’t turn to see who was staring. “I heard your stomach.”

I clenched my jaw.

“I’m not really hungry,” I lied. That Snickers didn’t last long. “It’s just habit.”

Mom didn’t know any better before she told my grandparents I existed.

The vampire gave me a knowing look that I hated. It reminded me of when I was eight the week Mom came back. The awkward silences and probing questions like my mother was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

I ignored her. “You okay, Luke?”

He looked like he really wanted to take out his dad’s lighter and start blowing everything up.

I just wasn’t sure if it was before or after he threw up.

“Fine,” he said tightly. He was eyeing the lizardmen businessmen sucking down slimy gray eggs in the booth in front of us. The bulge in his vest shivered. I was more worried about the big black dog with an eye-twitchingly pink collar that had started sniffing the air before burning red eyes focused on us.

Not us.

Me.

That’s a fucking Greek hellhound.

It was only twice the size of a Great Dane instead of twice the size of a truck, which meant it was a Greek hellhound puppy.

Its owner glanced up from his notebook. He was just a dude. Looked like he was in his late forties with graying hair and a short beard. His storm gray eyes swept over us then he looked back down.

He froze.

His eyes snapped up in a double take.

His dog let out a chilling howl.

I stood up, not sure if I was going to retreat in front of all these monsters, or if I was going to fight in front of all these monsters. I had a moment to think, Nemesis, you absolute bitch, before it was on me.

I fell under three hundred pounds of barking dog, desperately groping for its snapping jaws or for Damocles or both. The stink of brimstone breath and the last Happy Meal it ate burned my nostrils as I tried not to be the next one on the menu.

Luke was yelling. Artemis was yelling. The man was yelling. The bartender let out a piercing, painful whistle silencing everyone: “Half of ye are mortal, don’t make me - “

“ - don’t kill her! Don’t kill her, please! She’s just playing!” The man begged.

Playing?

I froze for a second.

It cost me the battle.

The dog’s jaws closed on my arm, fangs as long as steak knives. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the old guy go down under an angry vampire and then I realized that my Spidey Sense had been silent the entire time.

I held my breath as I felt its teeth press down on my forearm.

“Grrr!” The hellhound growled and shook its head back and forth. I stared as it grinned back at me with a dopey dog grin as it gently shook my arm again, not even breaking the skin. “Grrrr!”

“I - okay,” I said.

“Grrrll?”

“This was not the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Luke’s head tentatively poked over the monster’s shoulder, disbelievingly. “You’re not dead.”

“You can sound happier about that.”

“I told you,” the man rasped under Hiraya’s claws at his throat. “She’s harmless. Please.”

He had a bronze sword stabbing the vampire in the stomach. It wasn’t going very far, shedding just a few drops of black blood. She didn’t seem to notice, teeth bared, disguise gone with her wings touching the ceiling. He briefly glanced down at the sword like he was willing it to work.

Hiraya tilted her head. Then she smiled, all of her sharp teeth on display as her barbed, black tongue licked her lips. “Are you in yet?”

I watched his face go from mildly frustrated to absolutely terrified.

His dog slobbered all over the sleeve of my tunic as it settled down, trapping my legs under its bulk. Hiraya rolled her eyes and pulled off the idiot dog lover. He immediately rubbed at his neck, pulling the collar of his shirt higher.

“We’re fine,” she told the banshee watching us with black eyes. She shifted back to human, the small wound disappearing under her blouse.

The man stared at her from the ground. “That’s not fair.”

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Her answering smile was mean.

He pouted and turned towards me. “You are alright, yes?”

I peered at the guy. He looked completely human. The relieved smile on his face matched the one on his ghost, before it went transparent revealing shining bronze wires and gears under the skin slowly tick tick ticking to a halt.

“So this is awkward,” the man began as his ghost turned into a gray statue and then crumbled into ash. He sat up.

He gulped as Reclaim settled right on his collar bone.

“I bet,” Luke said coldly. He eyed the guy’s bronze sword. It was shaped like a xiphos, but I knew from experience that Celt swords looked like that too. “Get it off him.”

“Her,” he corrected Luke peevishly. “Mrs. O’Leary, come on, girl.” He patted his knee. “Get off him.”

She growled at him.

“Sorry,” the man said, wisely backing off. “She’s usually not like this, I swear - I have no idea why she likes you so much.”

I sighed and laid my head back. I was probably getting old blood in my hair. “The Night is my great-aunt, aunt, first cousin, sister and sister-in-law. Depending on who you ask,” I offered reluctantly. “And half of those simultaneously.”

Usually, that means her monster kids want me to not be a thing really bad.

Don’t ask me why.

Sometimes the family loves you, sometimes the family would love to murder you.

“Oh, I see,” he muttered. The man’s eyebrows were within invading distance of his hairline. “You’re Greek.”

The vampire snorted so hard she started choking.

Actually struggling to breathe.

Luke sighed, lowering his sword. “He’s not wrong.”

Hiraya raised a hand, still coughing, pointing with one finger to ask for a minute to let her stop dying.

“Is it over?” Artemis whimpered from under the table.

“Yup.” When did she get under there? Did Luke just chuck her underneath as soon as the dog jumped on me? “False alarm. His dog is just malfunctioning.”

“D’noh,” the idiot dog lover scoffed. “She’s adorable and very sweet and just wanted to make friends.”

“She will be the size of a tank full grown.” Think a black Mastiff form of Cujo, huge, big teeth, big claws and glowing red eyes. “...I didn’t know they even come in puppy form anymore?” I suddenly realized what was wrong with this picture.

What was more wrong with this picture.

As a species, hellhounds were thousands of years old. “Is Night still fucking Cerbe - um, never mind.”

Our vampire let out a beautiful sounding startled laugh as I shuddered.

“Forget I asked.” That was Erebus’ problem. I don’t wanna know.

I don’t wanna know.

“Hellhounds aren’t pets.” Luke tried.

“Hellhounds are usually not pets,” the idiot dog lover corrected him again as he futilely attempted to move the three hundred pound dog again. “He’s not going anywhere, let him up, O’Leary, please.”

“So I gotta ask,” I started. “What’s with - um - “

“The hellhound pet?” He grinned a little. “Long story, involving many close calls with a death and quite a few giant chew toys.”

“I meant the name, actually,” I said, shaking off a weird sense of deja vu.

Wait a minute.

A death?

“Oh,” he said. “Well, we met in Chicago.”

“...okay?”

He sighed and turned back to his dog. “Meaningless trivia to remind myself that I am clever.”

“Here,” Hiraya said. Her voice was still a little raspy. “Let me.”

Before she could throw it off me the dog finally had enough of my sleeve and slowly, as if to make sure we knew she was moving because she wanted to, started chewing on my backpack. I took the chance to escape immediately and wiggled out from under the oversized paw. I stood up, ran a hand through my hair and glared around at the dining room.

I dug into my stomach. It felt like I stuck an electrified fork in my belly button as I snapped,

“What?”

My voice resonated.

Everyone turned back to their meal.

Except for the koosh ball monster who had his meat puppet giggle at me.

Hiraya looked me up and down.

I had been chewed on by a giant dog and I looked like it. My right sleeve was a complete write off. There were just wet tatters below the elbow and a giant puddle of dog drool on my chest. There were small tears where its claws caught on the threads. Rhea and Khione both pitched in to fix it on this Quest, but it was looking like a hellhound pup was my tunic’s last straw.

“You have magic, right?” I asked her desperately.

“I’m not fixing that,” she said flatly.

“I am terribly sorry.” The guy actually looked sad as he eyed my sleeve. “I certainly wasn’t expecting…” He waved a limp hand at us. “...I hope you have an idea for saving your bag, because I am coming up blank.”

Luke let out a frustrated sound. “It’s your dog!”

“It’s fine,” I jumped in before Luke gave up and stuck Mrs. O’Leary in the rump with Reclaim anyway. I sat back down in my seat and resisted the urge to slump. “She’s not hurting anything.”

I called it my Bag of Holding for a reason. It’s not actually physical storage.

No don’t - don’t chew on the straps!

“Got a name?” I said snidely. “Because I’m calling you ‘idiot dog lover’ in my head.”

He looked offended. “Quintus, mortal son of Intellect.”

“You’re a half-blood.” Luke was surprised. He bit his lip as he looked at the guy with his graying hair and beard. He turned away and bent down to coax Artemis out of hiding. “...Luke, son of Thieves.”

“Percy,” I offered. “Son of Fate.”

We all looked towards the vampire.

“No.” Hiraya said as she threw herself back into her seat.

I thought about pulling an Aaron and saying it anyway.

Artemis crawled out from underneath the table. She looked ashamed, ears hanging down as she slowly inched around the hellhound.

“And youuuuu’rrrre…” Quintus trailed off as he looked between me and Luke, like he lost confidence in his guess half way through. He glanced around at the dining room full of monsters. “When you say Fate, what exactly…”

“The Fates are my siblings.”

Quintus blinked and then looked delighted. He grabbed a random empty chair and dragged it over to our table. He sat on it backwards, arms crossed over the back of the chair as he rested a hand on his dog’s massive head.

“Remarkable. That explains your eyes, I imagine.”

I squinted at him. “Yeah, I guess.”

“His eyes?” Luke wondered out loud and I realized that I never told him what was behind my sunglasses. Cliff could see them just fine. Luke never asked and it just never came up.

“No pupils, wider than normal iris radius, no sign of physical muscle structure, the northern lights among a sea of stars,” Quintus said like he was diagnosing me. “And a dash of vertigo.”

“Oh, there’s a feeling too?” I didn’t know that.

The way the vampire gave me an incredulous look made me think I was supposed to know that.

How?

Either you could see it, and it didn’t matter, or you couldn’t and it didn’t matter.

“Mild,” Quintus reassured me. “Although it does get worse the longer you look.”

“The Mist is hiding it,” Luke said miserably. He looked like he just got handed a report card full of Ds and Fs. “I never noticed.”

“You can learn to See it,” Quintus reassured him too. “It takes a bit of time, but can be done.”

“Time?” Luke said mockingly.

“Some of us do live to adulthood,” the guy said, exasperated. “You’re almost there yourself.”

“Not by visiting places like this they don’t,” Hiraya interrupted. “I’m surprised you live still. A lone mortal coming here without a beast like yours is coming to die.” Her eyes narrowed. “And even with it, a hellhound is no true deterrent.”

I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to call him on his ghost. He could be telling the truth. You could be a half-blood of anything, and nothing said you had to keep your original body to count.

Divinity was soul deep.

“Yes, well. The owner knows me.” He looked sheepish. Did he mean the Sun Voice or something else? “I called in a favor. Needs must and all that.”

Luke and I both looked him over.

Along with the bronze sword, he had a side bag, a dagger and his notebook. Sweatpants and sneakers. Not even any armor.

“A Quest?” Luke said dubiously, also sitting.

“Yes.” Quintus nodded firmly. “A Quest to keep my damn dog.” He pointed at Mrs. O’Leary’s eye-watering pink collar. I did not like looking at it. “Besides, aren’t you ones to talk?” He continued, looking smug. It was probably the storm gray eyes that was making me think he looked like Masayuki or Annabeth. “I didn’t think many of you even knew about this waystation - “

“Waystation?” Artemis interrupted, ears up.

Quintus squinted at her. “...that voice. Do I know you?”

Luke’s warning look could have stripped a rabbit bald.

“No!” Artemis squeaked.

“She’s some kind of nature spirit that got cursed by the gods,” Luke said easily. “We don’t know her name yet, but have been calling her Arty.”

“Yes, they do that,” Quintus gave the rabbit a look of pity.

Artemis wilted.

“They are looking for a way across the desert,” Hiraya offered and my ears rang.

We will find what we are after here.

Let it come to us.

“Oh!” Quintus lit up. “So am I!” Hiraya sat up straight from her slouch like she had been stung. “I mean, I was. I mean, I found one already. That's why I’m here, waiting for them.”

“Can you, please,” Hiraya sounded very close to begging. “Take them with you.”

“We’ll visit,” I told her.

“Don’t.”

Was it too much to hope that Future Percy was off the hook by virtue of being more trouble than he was worth?

Luke cracked a grin. “It wasn’t all bad, now you know about that Priest guy and if some demigods were to ask you for help tomor - “

“No,” Hiraya said immediately. “I am never doing this again.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. I remembered her ghost.

Liar.

I was low key hoping she never helps anyone ever again too.

“Of course,” Quintus said softly. “It was as formal an arrangement as I could make due to the whole…” He waved a hand.

“The Night,” I said.

“That,” he said sourly. “It’s made a real mess of things. My usual methods are - “ His face darkened. “Unreliable. I set up everything. Part protection, part transportation and part smuggling.”

What?

“Ah,” Hiraya said. “Rome closed the border, hm?”

Quintus shot us a panicked look and I realized Quintus was Roman. I should have known from the name. I wonder which one he meant by Intellect? And I thought their demigods were still being brainwashed into believing Greeks didn’t exist?

Guess not.

“We already know about the other pantheons,” Luke said and I felt a pang in my chest.

Other pantheons.

The Romans.

That conversation was going to suck. I could feel it in my bones.

“Really.” Quintus looked like he didn’t quite know what to do with that information. Or maybe more like he had too many ideas on what to do with that information. “Then, yes, by the order of Mars the dogs have been let out to play,” Quintus muttered. “Another demigod or two…I can justify that, easily. Besides, we half-bloods should stick together. We can only rely on each other, and,” He looked embarrassed. “My dog likes you.”

Hiraya breathed a sigh of relief.

My gut scrunched into a ball.

This was it.

I dug out the shining gold bead stamped with a symbol from my pocket. It was warm.

We were getting out of here.

I should have known better than to relax.

As soon as Hiraya snatched her token out of the air, a loud, rowdy noise rose from the front of the restaurant. We didn’t have to wait long for a group of bikers to swagger in with leather jackets, buckles, bandanas, skulls and bones and flame iconography and everything.

Monster bikers.

“Right on time,” Quintus said to the feel of my heart dropping out of my ass as a huge headless guy carrying his own head in a motorcycle helmet turned towards our table. “That’s them.”

The floor shook as the nine foot tall Dullahan stalked towards us. You’ve heard of those monsters. They’re Celt, just like the banshee. The Headless Horseman had his fifteen minutes of fame a while ago.

Quintus stood up quickly as a low growl came from Mrs. O’Leary. One of the bikers fidgeted, sniffing the air and then broke, a thin pale man turning into a slavering hairy creature as he lunged. He didn’t get far, the massive gloved hand yanking him back by his throat, throwing him on the ground. Burning gold eyes opened within the dark visor of the motorcycle helmet.

The monster didn’t even have time to scream before he was ash.

So this motherfucker has Penance Stare.

“I said,” the headless rider said in a pitch black voice. “Don’t touch the cargo.”

His crew went silent.

I felt his attention fall on me.

“Cé hiad do thuismitheoirí?” Ghost Rider asked me.

I stared for a second.

Irish Gaelic.

I understood that. I was still learning. I still had my flashcards for 'Where is the bathroom' on my nightstand still, but I understood him.

Flawlessly.

Like it was Greek.

Who are your parents?

I looked down at my ruined ocean blue Celtic tunic Mom had made for me. I remembered putting it on at Camp, wondering if it was enchanted, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to wear.

“Morrígu.” My accent felt clumsy in my mouth.

“The fifth?” Ghost Rider continued.

“That’s us,” Quintus nodded. He looked a bit curious, but unfazed, like he put his life in the hands of monsters all the time. “The three of us. Will that be a problem?”

“No. In fact,” the golden flame eyes winked out as the monster chuckled. He ground his boot into the pile of ash on the floor.

“I just made some room.”

I looked across the table. Artemis looked terrified. Luke looked resigned.

Hiraya shrugged. “Bye.”

Here we go.

I guess.

Aura was right behind us. We didn’t have a choice.

Out of the fire, into the frying pan.

 

A voice in my head
I didn’t do nuthin' wrong
Crisis awaits me

Gah!

Who the - what the Hades are you? How’d you - why are you - this shouldn’t be happening.

“Greek!”

Give me a second.

“How kind of you to notice through that squint of yours, Chinese.”

What?

Oh. No.

I’m not being racist.

I am being an asshole. It’s a subtle, but important difference. The former is being an idiot because bigot. The latter is because I’m Greek, Xihe is not here and I’m this close to doing something unwise to Taiyang’s face.

It’s been a long four days.

“So you all gotta hold the fort, Prophecy is acting up like whoa! Saule, darling, can you - great. It shouldn’t take too long, five minutes? Five minutes, might be five decades, you know how it is. Ciao!”

Whew.

Did I get clear?

Don’t answer that. You better not have any way of knowing and we are talking about gods here. A spiteful, contrary bunch. I should know!

I think I’m good, no one likes it when Prophecy Domains act up.

No one.

It’s like a steaming wet turd dropped in the middle of the dance floor. It stinks up the whole place. You can’t ignore it, because you might put your foot in it and then it’ll get everywhere and if you just leave it to dry, you’ll never get it out of the carpet so someone’s gotta clean it up.

So.

Let’s talk.

Well, you're pretty funny looking, aren't you…you haven’t, perhaps, maybe, possibly dislodged yourself from this bizarre young little proto-demigod hybrid I-don’t-know-what-he-is-person-thing?

Perseus Stele?

Crap.

I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to be wrong and I’m not and I don’t know how to feel about that.
I bet he just rolled with it too. Because that boy wouldn’t know normal if it actually bit him in the ass annnnnnd you shouldn’t be here, but you are, which means something has gone very wrong somewhere!

And I have no idea what or when!

Fuck.

Story of my life.

Alright.

Fine.

Since I have decided against burning you out of my divinity…

Hi.

Whoever and whatever you are.

Don’t tell me.

If I don’t know by now, I’m not supposed to. That’s how this works. I am the great, powerful, handsome and awesome Phoebus Apollon! Tremble before my glory! The Greek god of the Sun and a bunch of other things that aren’t important right now.

Except Prophecy.

That one’s important.

Unfortunately.

Hold on. That gives me an idea.

You’re coming along, of course. How’d Percy do this? Since you’re…you.

…I can do that.

There is nothing I love talking about more than myself!

---

My next stop was on my grandmother’s front door step.

It was somewhere in Mississippi, I don’t know exactly where. I can barely tell the difference between Manhattan and Queens. And I live in that city. Don’t give me that - The Sun Sees All and the Sun also has a Terrible Sense of Geography, do I look like Hermes to you? I am much more handsome. And the geopolitical realities of what piece of land on a single planet belongs to what made up country or is named whatever to which government or the longitude and latitude coordinates - that matters to Travelers.

The “geography” crammed into my skull is on a more interstellar scale.

I raised my hand to knock on the normal looking front door, but it opened before I could touch it.
There, standing before me in all her polka dot bathrobe and pink slippers glory was the former Queen of the Gods of Mt. Othrys.

You don’t know how weird this is.

I always imagined my grandmother to be like a female version of my father. Her husband was evil, five of her kids had been eaten and when all was said and done, she pulled a Switzerland with Okeanos and stayed out of the way. I’d give this woman good odds on a solo assault on Olympus itself and she did nothing with that strength. My father and my uncles loved her, but her daughters were noticeably cooler on the subject. I imagined this incomprehensible, arrogant, powerful distant figure with Uncle Sea’s eyes, my father’s face and Hera’s sneer. Instead, I got Flower Power, lessons on strategic drug use and the really unfortunate knowledge that the elder Olympians had a step-father in Bob Marley.

“Well,” my grandmother Rhea blinked owlishly at me. I think she could see you. “Shit.”

She can definitely see you.

“Help.” I was not begging, but it was a close call.

“Yeah.” She sounded - and looked - despondent. It was a familiar kind of misery. The one where you hoped you were wrong about something and had to admit that you weren’t. It wasn’t actually a Prophecy thing, but it might as well be.

“Motherfucking - I hate her,” Rhea muttered as she turned right around and went back into her house. For lack of better options, I followed. “I fucking hate her - I was done. I’m asleep.”

“I’m sorry?” I didn’t want to admit I had no idea what was going on, but, well. If I said otherwise, I’d be lying. Can’t do that, I’m the God of Truth!

That was a lie.

I can lie, but I don’t like doing it. That’s the Honest to Me Truth.

I don’t like apologizing either, but when confronted with someone that can splatter me like a bug on a windshield with an ounce of concentration I found saying my condolences much easier to do.
I’m a golden immortal, but some things not even I want to test the limits of.

“This is Her fault.” You could hear the capital H as Rhea puttered around her house like an over-caffeinated mouse. I was starting to think the 'her' was Percy's mother. Which was fair, honestly, I'm not about to pretend I haven't cursed Her Name once or twice. Even us gods could feel like ants under a microscope sometimes. Shocking, I know.

Rhea's pride of lions lazed about, watching the goddess blow through her house, finding her car keys, grabbing her purse. I don't know why she was bothering physically getting the items. I never did if I could get away with it. Perks of godhood, never losing your car keys for more than five seconds.

“I should have known," she grumbled. "I should have burned those fucking trees the second time around - argh!”

“Whoa!” I jumped back with my divine reflexes as a piece of pottery whipped past me to shatter against the wall. I knew from the way the pottery broke and not the state of Mississippi that she was still restraining herself. I was reminded of the many, many temper tantrums of my siblings whenever we were ordered around. I was always dignified about it, as I am with everything I do, but being bossed around by someone you knew didn’t care much beyond their orders and not being able to do anything about it was, as Percy would say:

It sucks.

“I don’t understand,” I risked saying. “What’s the problem exactly?”

Every lion in the room turned their deadpan cat stares onto me.

“Aside from everything.”

Rhea snorted. She ran a hand through her hair that was currently a platinum blonde color I’ve only seen on her daughters Hera and Demeter before. In a blink of an eye, the hungover free loving hippie was replaced by a hungover snowbird who looked like she was hating her retirement years.

“The problem is that she fucking got me.”

That explained absolutely nothing.

Neither did being dragged halfway across the country with a grumpy lion cub, a potted bonsai tree and the Beatles’ music in the passenger seat of a Greek Mystery Machine. It was god travel, obviously, so instead of taking hours it only took a couple of seconds to travel hundreds of miles.

I can confidently say, with 100% certainty, that I have no idea what’s going on.

Being confidently wrong is one of my many talents!

Our destination was all the way back to the East Coast and somewhere in the North East. I only recognized where we were by the echoes of our first failed attempt at moving to the Americas with Olympus.

“Washington, D.C?”

“Close,” my grandmother grunted. “Takoma Park.”

“And we’re here…why?”

“To shut my goddamn trees up.” She winced like a bugle horn was blowing right into her ear, making me remember that she wasn’t just my grandmother, ex-wife of the one of the Worst Dads in History, but also the patron of the Grove of Dodona. The fifth Greek Oracle spirit, possessing a bunch of trees and completely out of my control. I don’t think even The Fates controlled it, but I wasn’t going to say so out loud. I turned around in my seat to give the potted bonsai tree a suspicious look.

The confirmation that we were following vague Prophecies did not fill me with good feelings. I’ve been on the wrong end of those more than once and had the unenviable job of telling others they were on the wrong end of one, even if they always tried to test my word, or never believed me. Some of them, my own children.

I got tired of that.

True Sight was not something I passed on to my mortal children anymore. It was a fine line to walk. If I invested too much, they always had the prophetic talent, no matter what I did.

Kassandra had the last laugh in the end, a cruel and beautiful one, just like her. She was no Helen of Troy, Nur Jahan or Beyonce, but Cleopatra proved that you didn’t have to be the prettiest woman in the room to ruin everything.

I looked out of the window. There beyond the Mystery Machine was a boring suburb dominated by large, classical houses arranged in a half-circle facing the cul de sac. Rhea didn’t seem to be in any hurry now that we were here, and it became obvious why not as the front door to one of the homes opened. A girl no older than fourteen came out, walking right towards us with quick, agitated steps. I could see that she was a redhead with shining green eyes. I recognized the endless reflection within those eyes. Hard not to, I had a half-brother with eyes like those and for far too long, my twin did too.

“The lion lady,” she breathed as soon as she was within earshot. She can talk. I revised my age estimate down a few years to a tall twelve. Or maybe an average twelve. I don’t know. I have a bad frame of reference. Percy is a midget.

“Saw me coming, did you?” Rhea said in response. “Bet you saw a lot of things recently, right?”

What?

“What?” My voice came out bewildered and confused.

“What?” The girl said, taken aback. “You know about that? About the dreams? What they mean?”
Dreams?

Prophetic ones, if she could see us coming before I even knew what I was doing here. So she was that kind of clear-sighted. I was beginning to get an idea of what was going on here and I didn’t like it.

“Excuse me.” I raised my hand. “Who is she?”

The girl inclined her chin boldly. “Rachel Elizabeth Dare.”

She said it like I was supposed to know the name, but what are random mortal names to me? Congratulations, maybe your life wasn’t a complete waste of time?

What’d you want, a cookie?

“Does this have anything to do with the Pythia?” I asked my second and infinitely more vital question.

The horn honked as Rhea slammed a hand down on it. “Dammit, if you knew Pythia was gone, why didn’t you - “

“Percy is - “

“Not an Oracle spirit,” Rhea clicked at me and it was only my divine nature that let me understand what she was saying.

“But an Oracle still,” I tried. I was a little spooked. “He ate it. And we’re still getting Prophecies, which is the important part? Besides, Pythia belonged to the Fates and he’s their brother and his mother is You-Know-Who and don’t tell me he broke it,” I finished quickly. I wanted to be wrong. “Tell me that snake is still in Tartarus too.”

“I don’t know,” my grandmother said slowly. My heart sank. “But something has changed.” She glanced out the window past me at the frizzy red haired girl staring at us with shining eyes. “I do know that there is much you don’t know about what you’re seeing. If you want to know - “

“I do,” the girl blurted out. She bit her lip. It was adorable. “I want to know. Please.”

Rhea jerked her head and then we were off again in the Mystery Machine. With a grumpy lion cub, a clear-sighted girl holding the potted bonsai in the back seat and an acoustic guitar. I really should question pubescent girls being willing to get into the back of a van with strangers based on some cryptic messages, but that was called being a responsible adult.

I have spent millennia trying to avoid that as much as possible.

I was trying something a bit new this century, but old habits were hard to break. I was too caught up in my own thoughts. My stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself. Out of my four, the Spirit of Delphi of Pythia was important. Not the least of which is the fact that I had a Name tied to it.

You know about Names, right?

Good.

Suffice to say, I had a vested interest in not losing it, never mind that every mortal within Olympus’ sphere of influence also has a vested interest in my not losing it. It would not be pleasant for them either, but my anguish was much more important. Through absolutely no fault of my own, my Oracle of Delphi got herself nommed. Don’t ask me what she was thinking poking at the mini-abomination, because I don’t know. I only found out after it was already gone.

My great destiny, my reward for my epic defeat of the mighty Python had its remains flushed down the toilet of Camp Half-Blood approximately 11 hours after becoming a midnight snack for a demigod of Fate.

Humiliating.

Better her than me!

No one likes hearing a Prophecy, but believe you me, not hearing a Prophecy would be worse.
It’s like a massive game of Minesweeper. The word of an Oracle is like a revealed space on the board. It might be terrible, it might be good, but at least you know about it. Without them, any move you make can trip over a Prophecy you didn’t know was there, ready to blow just under the surface. Prophecies can be planned for, prepared for, perhaps even manipulated. A world with no Oracles was one with no say at all in their own Fate. You might as well not even have a future.

Just an End.

I thought we were going right back to Mississippi, but I was sadly mistaken. Instead, the van sputtered to a rolling stop in front of a place I knew very well.

The Penn Museum.

It was actually very clever of me. An Ancient Greece exhibit right in the middle of Philadelphia. Categorized and logged as just another exhibit was a certain clay jar holding the infamous Oracle of Cumae. Get it?

Philadelphia?

Don’t believe any of the reviews on RateMyOracle, they are horribly biased and Sibyl’s hotness rating was thousands of years out of date. I sent a more accurate one, but can you believe that it got curated out as being ‘needlessly provocative?’

Her bone-dust-in-a-jar-ness was not my fault.

Okay, it was a little my fault, but she deserved it.

I may have overreacted a tad.

She hates my guts and I’m still bitter, but we were working on it. In fact, just last month, we had a nice chat where she told me that actually, she never liked my hair and I told her that I lied a few thousand years back. That favorite blue dress of hers was hideous and made her look fat. We had to clear the air, and being truthful is important. I had some hope. Sure, usually being cursed to Hades and back is a deal breaker, but she never got around to rejecting my proposal after the fact, so there's still a chance!

But it was starting to look like closing that chapter of my love life was going to have to wait, because there on the stand where the elaborate Grecian vase that used to house my Oracle was empty.
I made a high-pitched - but still manly - sound. “Someone stole her?”

“Alright,” my grandmother said. She worried at her bottom lip. “This is bad.”

“Thank you for stating the obvious!” I snapped back. I didn’t even feel it happen. That was good, because that meant she was still around somewhere. I would know if she was destroyed, just like I felt it when Percy ate the Oracle of Delphi.

Somehow.

It was bad because the trail was cold. There wasn’t a trace of divine energy other than ours around. I almost couldn’t believe this was happening to me. My fortune turned on a dime.

“I can’t even start looking!” I continued, aghast. “The Sun - “

“I’ll handle it,” Rhea interrupted me. Her human looking avatar was looking up at the ceiling, thoughtful, head tilted to the right like she was straining to hear a song or whisper from far away. “Delphi gets got and so does Cumae within the month? That’s not a coincidence.”

“It could be,” I hoped.

“It ain’t.”

I could see where my sister got her lovely disposition at parties from.

“Then Trophonius - “ I began.

“I’ll protect him.”

I'll be honest. I had almost literally forgotten he even existed the past thousand years. He’s never been a successful prophetic franchise and success is what matters! No one was going to paint vases and commission clay action figures of an Oracle that has an 80% chance of driving the petitioner insane or worse. But at the end of the day, he’s still all I have left of my son. I have been forced to acknowledge that should mean something to me. I blame the most uppity, presumptuous mortal I have ever met, Dorian Stele for the fact that it does mean something to me.

I’m not saying I care about what Dorian says, but I must admit he gives good advice from time to time.

Sometimes I wish I had a father like him growing up.

That usually lasts about five minutes.

But it happens.

Rhea’s compound eyes turned a lovely monarch purple color. “How is the Sun holding up, by the way?”

“It’s holding,” I said sourly. Dozens of faces that I should have seen there, I don’t. Because they were gone, because they were dead, because they were just too weak to contribute. “I should be getting back.”

“Bless the girl first.”

I am not ashamed to admit I nearly gave myself whiplash turning back around. “What? I don’t - “

“She’s clear-sighted.” Rhea shrugged. “Really badly. Legacy of Selene.” She waved a hand at me. “Legacy of Helios.”

That was a bit of a stretch. You can’t steal legacies.

...yeah, Percy doesn't know that bit, but he suspects. If you asked me a year ago, I would have denied it to my dying breath (and I'm immortal), but I can admit it. Just to you. I stole it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I wasn't willing to watch my sister suffer her inheritance alone. I understood what Hera was asking me to do. I thought she was telling me to try to make the girl - Rachel - one of my Oracles anyway, without a spirit and that wouldn’t have ended well. I still wasn’t sure about this, or that it would work, but I saw no real harm in trying.

“Don’t push her,” I warned the Titan Queen. I was completely aware that my Oracles - and me - were vastly more important than some mortal waif off the street, but that didn’t mean I had to be an ass. If she could help, then there is no point in making it be an unnecessary sacrifice.

Artemis hated putting down the young.

There was no good way to tell my grandmother ‘No’ though.

Bug. Splat. Windshield.

To my relief, Rhea held up her hands in surrender. “I won’t.”

The blessing was simple enough. Once I got back to the Mystery Machine, it was just a question of concentration, separation and the fine delicate balance of not lighting the poor girl up like a Christmas tree. The blessing was all Sun. Rachel Dare gaped for a moment at the golden glow surrounding her. “I have no idea what it will allow you to do,” I admitted. Mortals had this annoying tendency to be completely predictable until they weren’t. “But it should help.”

“It will,” the girl said with such utter conviction it even made a shiver go down my spine. “There’s someone else we need to get.” She turned towards Rhea. “He’s in Canada, I think in Montreal.”

“Question.” I had to speak up before I was dragged off on this wild goose chase. “Is this going to get this thing out of my head?”

Rachel shot me an alarmed look.

No offense, but you’re weirding me out. I’m not exorcising you or anything, but I did not sign up for this and you’re killing my groove just lurking in the background of my mind like this.

Why you little -

If you like Percy so much, why don’t you go back to him?

“Probably not,” Rhea admitted. Which was great. “But it's a symptom of the disease that hasn’t struck yet, you dig?”

“No,” I said. “No I don’t dig.”

“It’s an echo,” Rachel said quietly. “Something big is coming and this is our warning to prepare for it.”

I sucked air in through my teeth.

And that was my cue to get out of this universe.

“Should I split attention?”

“Are you able to, man?” Rhea asked me curiously.

It was going to be hard. The last time I was able to, but that was millennia ago. It was bad enough singular, but I had two equally important responsibilities pulling me in different directions. I was the God of Prophecy. It was my Oracle that was missing, someone was moving against my pantheon and the only way this could get even more in my lane is if the Sun was involved in this nefarious scheme somehow.

But that just answered my own question.

You being in my head is a warning. One that I heeded. The Sun needs me right now.
Saule was covering for me.

“I can’t,” I realized sadly.

“Eh, don’t sweat it,” Rhea quipped with a lopsided smile. “I am now officially off my fucking ass. If something is after the Oracles, I don’t want them to succeed. Because I am one.”

There was that.

Some idiot with delusions of grandeur waking the Matriarch of Swarms, thinking the Grove of Dodona was just another Oracle spirit would doom us all to a live reenactment of Starship Troopers. It would be worse if they actually knew what she was and was trying to do it on purpose.

I hoped that wasn't true.

“If - if you need anything…” I trailed off. The Sun was holding for now, but it wouldn’t hold indefinitely.

My grandmother studied me, the kind of look that could make a young god wonder if they accidentally misplaced a temple again or forgot to zip up their fly.

“Get going,” she said softly. I wondered what she saw in me from that little staring contest, but staying to find out was a waste of time.

I got.

Everything is shit
The sun’s a giant spaceship
This is Percy’s fault

As soon as I started adding my strength to the Sun again, the burn started. It was a nice, soothing feeling of ‘help, I fell into a pool of lava.’

Planet side, if you looked up at the sky you would see a whole lot of nothing. At all. How good you are at seeing through the Mist (or how bad the Mist is at hiding it) determines how much of that nothing you can see into, but that’s about it.

From this side of things?

Boiling dark eyeball and gnashing mouth soup of black nothing chomping and chowing down on the Sun’s radiance.

If it weren’t for us Sun gods, the Sun would have ceased to exist in a couple of hours and I’m not entirely sure the very concept of Light itself wouldn’t have followed. I want to say that’s what will happen, but the Night doesn’t operate on the same rules we do.

Things get really fuzzy when the two systems intersect.

I hurried back to my spot. That being on the North end of a massive chamber within the cocoon of our influence in the cold dark of space.

The sun’s a spaceship. It’s got shields, seven stories of personal rooms, windows and command center and all. One of the many vimanas made throughout history. The Sun has been through some shit, so we’ve got a whole system for how we do this. It’s easier if you can sit in one spot and, well, meditate? Distract yourself from the pain without diminishing your contribution. Some of us are better at it than others.

I don’t have ADHD.

No matter what anyone says. Gods don’t get mortal disorders, it’s just some vestigial hyperactive 13th sense inherited from Rhea seeking a hive mind, my intrinsic observant nature and the fact that my ass goes numb way too quickly and I hate it.

“Thank you,” I whispered when I settled into my gold cloth cushion. Only the best for the cutest butt on Earth. I ignored the glares boring in me. It’s not like I was lying. Prophecy was acting up. It still is!

“You are very welcome,” Saule whispered back, shifting a bit in her chair in discomfort. I felt really bad for dumping the Greek share of the burden on her and it was doing something funny to my stomach that she didn't even try to complain about it. “Some were upset, but Amaterasu vouched for you.” Absolutely gorgeous teal eyes, like the sun rising over an ocean horizon, sought mine out. I looked away. “Everything alright?”

“Nope.” I cracked my neck. “But I’ll manage.”

“I have no doubt you will,” she said warmly and I tried really hard not to let on how badly that affected me. "His birthday is coming up, isn't it? I haven't missed it?" I shook my head mutely. She hasn't actually seen Percy in years, but she never forgot him. "I should get him something."

She bit her lip, thinking and I nearly died.

Why am I like this? It’s a funny story.

By funny, I actually mean pathetic.

Just the worst kind of second-hand embarrassment to make you cringe.

I, the great, mighty, popular, handsome Apollo, am currently crippled with indecision.

You’d never know it to speak of me, because I am just that much of a virile sex god and cultural icon, but I’ve made mistakes. Hurt people who didn’t deserve it (that much). Let my emotions blind me to the flaws of people I cared about. But one thing I will never regret is pursuing love. My sister might tell you (and me) that it doesn’t exist or that it doesn’t last or that it isn’t worth it, but I can’t believe that.

I won’t.

Which puts me in a bind.

A decade ago, I wouldn’t have given the Baltic Sun goddess Saule the time of day.

Why should I?

I, the proud Greek, loved by everyone worth anything because I am awesome and she was some weird, foreign D-Lister spending all her time with the mortals and I’ve only actually spoken about 5 words to her before this decade.

They were ‘hi,’ ‘no’ and ‘leave me alone.’

And then Percy just up and self-destructed over his mom dipping out.

I panicked.

What the Hades do I know about raising half-divine sprogs? Dorian was way out of his depth and drunk and angry (and I was genuinely afraid of Percy continuing the proud Greek tradition of patricide). My first option, Hestia, knew even less than I did. He’s a boy, so my sister was right out. It was so bad, I even considered shoving him onto Hera.

Briefly.

Don’t - don’t look at me like that, I said briefly. Like, the five second dumb idea.

Maybe ten seconds.

I was panicking.

Demigod of Fate. I was confident the Queen of the Gods would treat him like he was made out of fine china made out of antimatter, but I wasn’t going to risk the absolute circus exposing a young, vulnerable Percy would have made of Olympus. Every other god would have wanted a piece of him and then the others would complain ‘but you said I was your favorite sibling/aunt/uncle/cousin five centuries ago!’ and then it would be my problem all over again. So I had to make do with other pantheons I could trust as far as I could throw them. The Egyptians were not available, I’m not letting fucking Odin get his hands on him (I can't throw him very far) and there were only three kinds of Celts:

No Chill, Batshit and Both.

I was out of options.

I care about that kid. He grows on you. Like mold. I was trying not to mess him up any more than I had to and dumping him on any one of my family members would have done exactly that.
So would have dumping him on his own family.

The House of Night literally drives mortals insane and I’m not going anywhere near Tartarus if I could help it. Just thinking about calling up Chronos to hand over his step-son because his wife shacked up with a mortal and couldn’t handle it gives me the Heebie Jeebies.

So I threw him at Saule.

Because she was a D-List goddess without a pantheon to support her in anything against a Greek god who wanted her to fix the issue and keep quiet.

She couldn’t say no.

You see my problem?

A century ago, I don’t think it would have made a difference, if I ever noticed her that way to begin with. If anything I would have been happy at the sure bet! Pretty little brunette with legs for days, what's not to like? Why wouldn't I go for it? I am awesome and everybody loves me! Now, every time I felt like saying something, I felt like a creep two seconds later. Eventually, someday, maybe I will have to admit that I am a fuck up and I can count who actually finds me loveable on one hand.

I know, I know.

Crazy talk.

Dorian Stele has ruined me.

I looked around the room, because I’d like not to get caught staring and the pain was -

A lot.

There were some gods no one looked at for too long. Old gods, some whose Names have been lost to history but their duty remained. The twisting, paradoxical wings and fiery sword of one was at the corner of my eye, no matter where I looked. To my immediate left was Saule. To my immediate right was an empty seat for Helios. The Norse Sunna was past that, making kissy faces at me because she’s a jerk. Past her were empty seats belonging to Hathor, Sekhmet and Ra with a skinny, sick looking cat on Bast's seat. Don't know what that's about, don't care. On Saule’s other side was Beiwe of the Sami. It went around in a circle, like the visage of the sun itself. With every seat occupied, by Taiyang or Unelanuhi, there were three or four that were empty or were covered by another like the Celtic Áine filling in for Lugh.

It was taxing her greatly. You could see it in the unsteady flares of white and yellow light leaking off her, the beading of silver blood instead of sweat and her tight features as she clenched her eyes shut, ground her teeth and bore it for the fourth day in a row. I hoped the Night wasn't going to last for too much longer. I didn't want to know if we could literally burn out trying to keep the Sun alive.
It was not uncommon for pantheons to have multiple sun gods.

It was even recommended.

Now some pantheons had none. I don’t want to admit it, but the next time the Night falls, I’m not sure if the old gods still left will be enough. They have to be. They’re still going strong.

I met Amaterasu’s eyes.

If you can see the Sun in a god’s eyes. They’re a Sun god. It’s a quick and dirty rule because Ammy’s eyes were the glow of the accretion disk of a black hole.

This wasn’t all of her. She didn’t play by the same rules as the rest of us.

She grinned and tapped the side of her head.

Oh shit.

Quick, make yourself small and don’t say anything!

What’s up? I sent over the god wire. Being this physically close meant telepathy is actually an option.

I just witnessed the most interesting little thing today. She sent back. Her mental voice was coy, amused and felt like focusing on a small sunspot with the vast bulk of the sun shining just out of reach. I hope she can't see you. Because then I'd get blamed for airing Greek dirty laundry, because I wanted this to happen, obviously, and I'd never hear the end of it even after I saved the day. So you finally caved and started teaching your children about the wider world? Or just you.
I frowned. I’m…not entirely what you are referring to?

She rolled her eyes. A demigod called on me for a pact and I would recognize that atrocious accent anywhere.

Oh. Oh! I made sure I didn’t fidget in my seat. Percy.

Touchy subject.

Some gods and pantheons wouldn’t care about the son of Greek Fate running around.

Some would care a lot.

I don’t know which one Ammy falls under. The gorgeous Japanese woman with sunlight in her hair, a great sense of humor and excellent taste in eye candy was a mask. We all knew it was one, but one does not just call out the wizard behind the curtain if he doesn’t feel like revealing himself.

Because he’s a wizard.

And for the record, I can speak flawless Japanese. That ‘atrocious accent’ was me purposefully getting on Tsukuyomi’s nerves. And I taught it to Percy as a joke because kid doesn't know any better to call me out on it.

It's still funny.

Oh, of course. No, just - just me. The, ah, the kid Saule was helping me with a bit ago.

He must be important to you, her message was soft and warm.

I don’t know how I’d live without him, I said honestly, because if he got murdered, we were fucked. My father is a moron. Bug. Splat. Windshield. I’ve known this, but the day Percy set out for this Quest is the day I felt it down to the bottom of my soul.

I rebelled against him more than once.

He sent my little sister and brother on a Quest.

...Athena still has her Title, you know.

He thinks outside of the box, carries himself well in combat and is decisive, she praised. Your Prophecy is almost blinding in him.

He takes after me, I bragged, smiling. Next you’re going to say he’s also good looking, just like his father. You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.

Ammy’s grin widened. The Pinoy vampire kept her word. He is on his way to California with the Sons of Silence right now.

Pinoy vampire. In America? The Sons of Silence? My smile withered.

Fucking what.

I take my eyes off that boy for two seconds -