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Commercial Break (Worm / Slut Life) (Borderline SFW)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Jonakhensu, Apr 8, 2018.

?

Should I post 2.9 a week early or keep to the normal schedule? 2.10 will be on 11/13 regardless.

Poll closed Oct 23, 2018.
  1. Yes, post 2.9 on 10/23

    13 vote(s)
    48.1%
  2. No, wait until 10/30

    14 vote(s)
    51.9%
Loading...
  1. easlyamused

    easlyamused Getting sticky.

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    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    I just had a strange thought. Is the Jacob in this story the dimensional analog of the Jacob on Earth Bet that goes by Jack?

    edited in more laughter.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2018
  2. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    He's even more fucked if this is the case. And it'll be even funnier...

    MAKE IT SO!
     
  3. easlyamused

    easlyamused Getting sticky.

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    And if Taylor gets in the habit of covering Jacob in bees, then when Jack shows up will she reflexively cover him in bees?
     
  4. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I'm sorry, I have to say that Ack won. Mind you, it's actually fairly easy to make no-sex runs, provided you don't want all the fun things.

    That's a fair point on the punishments... I'm going to have to fix that in the version I'll eventually be using for everything. I'd also like to note that the side effects of Strength-Booster is weakness and muscle atrophy. Not really the best trade off in my mind.

    Yes, yes you can.

    Tyrone, and how I portray him, amuses me. That said, nothing is set in stone yet.

    It all depends on what sales pitches the various groups make, along with Cindy's impressions of them, as she'll be explaining a bit about them to Taylor. There are definitely some she wouldn't think about, however, such as Everyone.

    I'm fairly sure this is in reference to one of the 'boring CYOAs' people were posting, not about Commercial Break itself.

    You picked a good time to sign up. Next chapter should be posting tomorrow.

    Well, that was amusing and one way to solve the problem. I might have to write some omake once Taylor's a recruiter of her rescuing other Taylors from their stories. I pegged Michael fairly quickly, but I wasn't sure who the girl was, though I was fairly sure it wasn't Hope. My first thought was actually Hax. Anyway, have a threadmark, and thanks for the omake.

    Funny story on that... Jacob Tricher was originally based off of an analog of Jacob, from Mauling Snarks. Obviously, that didn't last long. He might still be an analog for Jack Slash, though. I haven't figured all of his backstory out yet.

    I have nebulous plans for both Jacob(s) and the S9... I find them amusing, at least. Of course, those plans are several Arc away, so it may take a while to get to them.

    It'd be amusing if it were such an ingrained reflex that Broadcast didn't pick up on it in time.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2018
  5. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Wouldn't Perfect Metabolism counter that?
    Repairbots might help too.


    *edit- So +30 credits from nanobot injections of strength booster, -5 credits from Perfect metabolism, -15 credits from repairbots = net gain of 10 points. And Taylor gets a Brute 5 rating, lol.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2018
    moon so bright and Ack like this.
  6. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I already did a rough layout for NSW!Taylor and her choices.

    Let's just say ... she ended up with a LOT of credits. Including seven owners (dragon, wizard, Everyone, zookeeper and a few others). Also took Naked as well as the one that lets her ignore the cold.

    She's intensely amused by what some people find arousing.

    First person she'd bring in would be Amy, who'd be even more into it.

    After a while, SL might just open a branch on NSW!Bet, offering the chance to get paid big bucks to have their brains fucked out for a year. Which would be much the same as normal, just with money involved :p

    When the average contestant on SL gets gangbanged in the laundry room, they call it an orgy. Someone from NSW!Bet would call it Tuesday :p
     
  7. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Nope, just the same as normal.

    Oh, I worked this out a while ago in a different SL thread, but I figured out a way to really game the system:

    First a contestant takes an insane run, maximizes points any way possible (such as all the extreme body mods, 10 year run, sex slave, ect.). They also take Mindwipe and Dissonance.
    But! there's a twist. On that run they take secret society membership reward, along with Meta and powers (or any other reward for the 3rd option, Planet is a nice looking one).

    Now here's where the real trick comes in, for Meta, you go BACK into Slut Life (remember you get a 30% bonus to one category from Meta), setting up the second contract at the same time as the first one. Set it up so you get a new body in the second run (to get rid of all the bad stuff from the first run, magical girl powers should stay if their linked to your soul rather than your body). Take Mindwipe, Tabula Rasa, and Dissonance again, but set it up so at the end of the run you get your ORIGINAL memories back, the ones from before the first run (this way you basically never went through the stuff from the first season). Make the second run an easy one, getting all the beneficial permanent mods you can afford (education entertainment option is a good idea, especially as this version of the CYOA doesn't have the Student job option; Magical Girl job is a gimme for this one), and powers as your reward.

    With powers as a reward on the first run, and powers, powers+, and perfected power as the reward on the second run you'll get:
    8 "regular" powers
    1 jailbroken power (maybe a jailbroken Trump power to enhance the other powers, essentially giving you 8 jailbroken powers?)
    9 total powers.
    You magical girl abilities (possibly 2 sets of them)
    Secret Society Membership
    However much money you get from cashing in leftover points (you probably had a LOT from that first run).

    It may not be omnipotence, but it's damned close.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2018
    Ack likes this.
  8. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    Another problem is that "best healthcare money can buy" can go all the way up to de facto immortality via Total Annihilation style patterning/upload/download (somewhat like Cylons but using the quantum foam i.e. universal settings for storage) which kind of makes all the other body mods irrelevant as you can choose what platform you download to.

    For a less extreme example, a CYOA as a post-Seraphim War ACU pilot should do just about the same sort of default upgrades.
     
    Ack likes this.
  9. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Nothing in the COYA suggests the advanced health care continues when your contract ends.
     
    january1may and Ack like this.
  10. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    When it's "the fuck are you doing with that genetic kit, trying to emulate a late 20th century Baseline Human to see what getting old is like? Oh, you ARE one? You can't go in like that! Post-Baseline humans would fuck you to pieces!" *drags off to consciousness transfer to upgraded mostly-equivalent-traits body* level of advanced healthcare? That's no problem.

    Followed by you chaining CYOAs into a Jumpchain of OPness.
     
  11. SystemSearcher

    SystemSearcher "I fought the door and the door won"

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    The "Meta" reward specifically allows you to access any other CYOA. So you can't just go into the same one right away.
     
  12. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I meant normal for citizens of NSW!Bet. For them, sexual interaction is as common and acceptable as shaking hands.

    "Want to go take a vacation in a place where you get fucked a lot?"

    "Why do I need to go on a vacation for that?"

    "I mean, your roommates, your neighbours, maybe even your family will be screwing you senseless on a regular occasion. Hell, people you meet on the street will be bending you over the nearest park bench while others either wait their turn or offer critiques."

    " ... so, all of last week, then?"

    "Uh ... have I mentioned that you could get paid millions for doing this? Or, you know, end up with your own planet?"

    "Okay, NOW you have my attention."
     
    Richael, Chase92, Fencer and 2 others like this.
  13. Threadmarks: Recruitment 1.4
    Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Recruitment 1.4





    Once they had finished eating, Taylor and Cindy made their way back to the main room so they could continue working on Taylor’s contract. “Alright,” Cindy began. “We’ve got one more section of things you want to go through…” she trailed off before concluding, “and I just realized I forgot to go over a pretty important part of the contract.” Scrolling to the relevant section, she continued, “Here we go, health and hygiene.”

    “Shouldn’t my body basically take care of itself?” Taylor asked. “That’s the point of the nanobots, right?”

    “To a degree,” Cindy explained. “The nanobots will take care of any unwanted bacteria, dirt, and other substances. You could definitely go without bathing if you wanted to, but it wouldn’t be very fun. Unless the ‘bots are given alternate programming, which usually doesn’t happen, even after the show’s over, sexual fluids won’t be cleaned until they start to get really disgusting, and massage oil won’t be cleaned off until it starts going rancid or gets mixed with dirt or something.”

    Taylor made a face in disgust. “That doesn’t sound pleasant.”

    “It’s not,” Cindy agreed. “Now, even for people who decide to never bathe again, it doesn’t get too bad, but most people prefer the clean feeling they get from bathing. Besides, you already have a deluxe bathroom selected. You may as well enjoy it, right?”

    “Right. So, what are the choices here?” Taylor asked.

    “You can either go without, which we’ve already decided against, or you can get a selection of health care and make-up products. The default is a fairly basic supply of body care, hair care, and make-up supplies. If you want, you can spring for a greatly expanded selection, including a number of very high end products.”

    Taylor leveled a look at Cindy. “Do I look like I’m particularly worried about make-up?”

    “Not really, no. Shall I pencil you in for the basic setup, then?” Cindy asked. At Taylor’s agreement, she marked the option before continuing, “Next up is the optional advanced medical care. We do give all of our contestants basic healthcare, and, of course, the repairbots will help, but there’s only so much it’ll cover. I would highly recommend signing up for it if you plan on doing anything dangerous. They can patch you up from even the worst accidents, so it’s a good investment if you think you might end up hurt. Hell, they’ll even bring you back from the dead if they need to. It’ll also get you up a lot sooner, which is nice when you still have commitments to worry about that won’t care if you’re currently in a wheelchair.”

    “Yeah… I think I’ll sign up for the better healthcare,” Taylor agreed. “That does not sound like fun. What’s next?”

    “It’s pretty pricey,” Cindy began, “but if you want, we’ll make sure someone is available to give you a massage whenever you like. It feels pretty nice, but, depending on any roommates or neighbors you have, there’s easier and cheaper ways to get it, including going to a regular massage parlor.”

    Taylor blinked in surprise. “Massages cost that much?”

    “Granted, they’re supposed to be really good massages,” Cindy admitted. “I just don’t really think they’re worth the cost.”

    “I’ll take your word for it,” Taylor replied. “I don’t really know enough about them to tell one way or another.”

    “Fair enough. Now, let’s move on,” Cindy said, “ we’ve got one more section to work through before we start figuring out how to pay for it all.”

    “Sure, what's next?” Taylor asked.

    “Next we’ll take a look at all of your entertainment options.” Cindy scrolled around the screen again until the Entertainment section was showing. “Now, the first few options are basically redundant. Three of them are basically just variations on music, and getting the cell phone will cover that easily enough, and you’ll get to keep it once the show’s over.”

    “No cell phone,” Taylor flatly replied.

    “Why not?” Cindy asked.

    “Mom died because she was talking on one,” Taylor quietly explained. “Dad and I haven’t had them since.”

    “Alright,” Cindy relented, leaning over to give Taylor a one armed hug. “I’m not going to try to force you to get one if you don’t want to.” They sat in silence for a few minutes before Cindy said, “Moving on, and I’m sure this is not at all the right mood to be having this discussion, but we do need to keep going, is porn.”

    “Really?” Taylor asked in disbelief. “Porn?”

    Cindy shrugged. “Some people really like watching porn. What can I say? Now, electing to have access to porn doesn’t mean you have to ever watch it, but not selecting it would make it impossible for you to do so if you ever decide you do want to. Just something to keep in mind.”

    “Right,” Taylor deadpanned. “I’ll think about it. Next?”

    “Education. And on that note, have you given my proposal any thought?” Cindy asked.

    “Yeah,” Taylor said, scowling angrily. “If I don’t take the job, someone like Tricher is going to keep doing shit like he did with me, isn’t he?”

    Cindy scoffed. “He’ll keep being an ass no matter where he ends up or what you do. What you can do, however, is prevent him from pulling this shit again on your world.

    Taylor sucked in a breath. “Yeah, I though that’d be the case. If I am considering the job, what would I need to do?”

    “The actual recruitment seminar only takes about a day,” Cindy said. “It’s basically about how to spot and approach people who would be more likely to sign up. I’d recommend signing up for at least a course on contract writing. If you could both recruit and write up their contracts, it’d mean you could do everything wherever you wanted, rather than needing to bring your candidate into the office. Hell, if you wanted, you’d be able to write up the entire contract before having them commit at all. They’d be able to decide to walk away, even after making every decision we’d use for the show.”

    Taylor scowled. “I wish I had had that opportunity. Alright, I’ll do it. What else would you recommend?”

    “Unfortunately, the equipment we use for educational purposes can’t cover very broad subjects, so you wouldn’t be able to use it to get out of going back to school once you’re back home, but it can get you a few year’s worth of knowledge in specific areas. Is there anything you’d want to learn more about?” Cindy asked.

    “Well, I do like computer science,” Taylor mused. “Though it might be worth learning some Asian languages so I can understand what the ABB are saying when I get back home. Or I could probably learn how to make fabric and clothes, which could be useful when making my eventual costume.” She had the orb weaver crawl into view and gestured toward it, “Spider silk is supposed to be stronger than steel, so, if I learned the best way to make fabric with it, I could have costume that was basically armored as well.”

    Cindy nodded. “And you could probably make a lot of money selling the silk or outfits as well,” she added. “Even with the insect queens, we still don’t have a good supply of spider silk, at least without it being so labor intensive as to be not at all worth it. Add in the value from being featured on Slut Life and your eventual fame, and anything you make could go for some pretty ridiculous prices.”

    Taylor blinked. “Really?” she asked in disbelief. “People would really pay that much for something I made?”

    “Definitely,” Cindy stated firmly. “There is definitely a market for silk gowns that can double as low profile body armor.”

    “Sign me up for that class, then,” Taylor said, still in shock.

    “Alright, so we’ve got you down for legal, clothing manufacture, and what did you want for your third class?” Cindy asked, making some notes on the form. “You might as well take something fun, right?”

    “Possibly.” Taylor spent a minute thinking. “I think I’d enjoy the computer classes more than the language ones. Besides, without choosing one, it’d probably be too broad a subject, and I don’t remember which language is most used back home.”

    “Seems reasonable,” Cindy said agreeably, making a note. “Want to take a short break, or would you prefer to keep going?”

    “I wouldn’t mind stretching out a bit,” Taylor decided. “A lap or two around the station should be enough.”

    “Sounds fine to me,” Cindy replied, standing with Taylor and heading toward the door. “So, jog or walk?”

    “I’m still not as fit as I like,” Taylor said ruefully. “I’m not sure how long I’d be able to keep up a jog.”

    “Well, might as well try and see how far you can get, right?” Cindy asked, already moving into a jog as she passed the door.

    “Hey!” Taylor yelped. “Wait up!”




    “Good evening, everyone,” Mistress Fiorenza Campos said into her camera. While most of the owner groups would meet in person, the psychics tended to meet through video conferences. It was considerably safer than trying to cram more than a dozen powerful telepaths into a small room. Looking back at her were two dozen of the finest minds in the universe.

    “Good evening, Mistress Fiorenza,” the girls chorused. Training the vast majority of the psychics in this region had its advantages, and implanting a suggestion to treat her respectfully at all times into the minds of her pupils was just one of them. It even served as part of their training, as it gave them a goal to work toward: removing the various behavioral modifications and triggers that had been implanted over the years. In fact, doing so was part of the requirements for being considered a Master of the Psionic Arts.

    “We have a new contestant?” one of the younger girls asked excitedly. Hm, that one could use a bit more conditioning. She should have waited for her Mistress to give the information, rather than demanding it, even in such a non-demanding fashion. It was possible she was progressing more quickly than expected, but a quick look at her grades made it unlikely in the extreme.

    “Yes, Natalie,” Fiorenza confirmed, “as you would have known in just a few moments had you but had the patience.” Pausing for effect, she added, “The newest candidate is named Taylor Hebert and, based on the paperwork they’ve sent me, has had a fairly hard life. She also seems to be able to control insects without using magic, so she may be a candidate for Psychic Training.”

    One of the girls signaled she had a question. Once Fiorenza acknowledged her, she asked, “Does she just control the insects, or is she mind linked with them?”

    Fiorenza had to admit that was a decent question. One would imply that she could exert her will over them, while the other meant that she could receive much more information back. It was also a potential weakness, as it’d give others more access to her, and insects would be much less able to maintain a proper ego barrier than even an average human. She flipped through the briefing packet until she found what she was looking for.

    “From what the scientists and what our own researchers could work out, they believe that her mind may be linked with the insects through a continent-sized organic supercomputer that’s poked into her brain from a parallel universe.” She looked up to see that all of the screens were now blank. “I see that I’ll be doing a lot of reeducation in the near future,” she muttered to herself. “It has been a while since we’ve checked Jessica and Teresa; they may have progressed far enough to remove their behavior triggers.”

    “Now, who should I have volunteer?” she mused, flipping through the profiles of various girls she had authority over. “Might as well go with some punishment,” she decided. “Natalie really should know better by now. Next time something like this comes up, I think I’ll give them fewer details to worry about.”




    “You didn’t do too badly,” Cindy said consolingly as she led a winded Taylor back into the room.

    “I… never managed… to catch up,” Taylor complained through her gasping for air.

    “I’d be surprised if you did,” Cindy admitted. “My body’s been fairly well optimized, and, from what you’ve said, you haven’t been the most active person over the last few years. Don’t worry, you’ll get better.”

    “Thanks. So, what’s next?” Taylor asked, still trying to catch her breath.

    “Next we stretch for a bit so that you don’t cramp up,” Cindy said. “Come on, I’ll help you. I can go over the next few items while you stretch.” She beckoned Taylor to sit on the floor and began to work her through a few simple stretches while continuing, “The next section is a variety of sex toys, from a chest full of them to robotic tentacles you can use with an AI, if you get one.”

    Taylor blinked and then squawked as she was pushed too far for comfort. “Why would I want any of those?” she asked. “From the sounds of it, I’m supposed to be too busy having sex with people to use any of it.”

    Cindy chuckled. “Yeah, I know, it does feel that way, doesn’t it? I’ve got to say, I ended up using mine less than I thought I would. We can skip it for now and come back to the idea later, if you’d like.”

    “Sounds good,” Taylor agreed. “Gah! I don’t bend that way!”

    “Sorry, sorry,” Cindy apologized. “I guess I’m not really used to normal human limits anymore. Right, moving on. Are you interested in having any alcohol or drugs?”

    “No,” Taylor said flatly. “Next?”

    “Fair enough,” Cindy said, taking a moment to scroll the screen down. “Would you like a pet?”

    “You mean the insects don’t count?” Taylor asked.

    “I don’t think so, though I should probably check into that,” Cindy replied. “Give me a moment; I’m going to send an email to someone in Enforcement and check for you. With any luck, they should be counted as tools or something along those lines.” She fiddled with her computer for a moment before turning back to Taylor. “In the meantime, would you be interested in getting a bunch of games?”

    “Not really,” Taylor replied. “I haven’t really had anyone to play with in years, so… yeah.”

    “Alright, no problem,” Cindy agreed. “How about a creative kit, do some drawing or painting?”

    Taylor scowled. “Having my projects messed with constantly has kind of ruined art for me, sorry.”

    Cindy winced, “Yeah, I can see that happening. Next up is a personal library, but I’m not sure it’s worth the effort, considering you’ll already have access to a much larger one.” Taylor nodded her agreement. “Right. Next up is an entertainment system. It’s pretty nice, if you’re planning on watching movies a lot or if you want to play a lot of video games.”

    “Not really something I’m interested in,” Taylor replied. “Is it just me, or do most of the entertainment options assume I’m going to have tons of free time?”

    “It’s not just you,” Cindy agreed. “A lot of people seem to like taking the no-sleep option and then forget to fill those extra hours with anything meaningful to do. So, lots of movies and games. Of course, they also tend to increase their libidos… a lot… which explains the need for sex toys.” They sat in an awkward silence for a moment before Cindy continued, “So, next up is an AI. It can interface with a computer, a phone if you decide to get one, and a number of other items you may have. They’re generally useful for keeping a busy schedule straight and keeping track of any number of minor issues. In fact, if you get an advanced sex bot, your AI would be able to use that as its body and help around the house.”

    “That sounds useful,” Taylor decided. “Any downsides?”

    “They are fairly expensive,” Cindy admitted, “though you can get most of that back by opting to have yours have a more developed will and personality. The only downside with that is that the AI won’t be able to be reprogrammed at a whim, though it will be much more human in demeanor.”

    “I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable being able to just change it’s personality whenever I wanted,” Taylor admitted. “How is the initial personality chosen?”

    “There’s two main methods,” Cindy explained. “The first is by having you name a fictional AI you like, and the tech people will do their best to match its personality to the source material as much as possible. The second method is what I tend to recommend. You take a fairly intensive survey and they’ll build the AI based on your answers. I’d highly recommend answering honestly if you go that direction, though.”

    “Sounds useful,” Taylor decided. “Can you mark that as a maybe?”

    “Will do,” Cindy agreed. “Now, the next question is, do you want a computer or a tablet?”

    “That would definitely be useful,” Taylor agreed. “What’s the difference between the two?”

    Cindy looked over the specifications for the two devices. “Well, the tablet has a lot less power than the computer, but it’s also a lot cheaper.” She gestured at her laptop and continued, “My preference is for laptops. They’re portable, have almost the same power as a full desktop, and is a lot cheaper. Between going with a laptop and doing a cam show for your fans once a week, you can get a good computer for the same price as the crappy tablet, so I don’t see a real reason to not do so.”

    “Modesty?” Taylor asked, blushing at the idea of putting on a show for others.

    Cindy gave her a look. “You’re already going to have your every action recorded and shown, anyway. I don’t see what pretending to do a private show for a fan would actually change.”

    “Oh,” Taylor said. “Fair point. Add it, I guess.” She looked at the sheet. “How much more is there?”

    “For entertainment? We’re almost done,” Cindy replied. “Just a few things left, and only one of them I think you’d actually be interested in.”

    “What about the other two?” Taylor asked.

    “Ones a massage chair. That’s all it is, though it can be upgraded significantly. All in all, it’s more costly than I think you’d be interested in for something you can pay someone else to do for you for a lot less.” Taylor nodded her agreement, so Cindy continued. “The second is a sensory deprivation tank. It’s supposed to cut off all sound, light, and has you floating in body temp water to suppress touch as well.”

    “That doesn’t sound particularly fun,” Taylor noted. “In fact, it sounds like a torture device.”

    “Yes, well, for safety reasons, you’d be limited to an hour a day at most, and, frankly, it’d be pointless for you anyway,” Cindy replied. “What with you being able to sense through your insects and all.”

    “Good point,” Taylor agreed. “What was the last thing?”

    “The ability to go outside on your own,” Cindy answered. “It’s potentially useful, especially if you want to collect more insects, but it is also very expensive. I’d recommend trying to convince one of your roommates to go out with you instead. It’d be easier and much less expensive. I mean, there’s ways to make it much less expensive, even to the point where we’d be paying you to go out, but I wouldn’t recommend it.”

    “Why not?” Taylor asked.

    “Well, one method involves restricting you to public transport,” Cindy elaborated, “potentially while bombarding you with funny images. If you laugh, you get spanked. The other would basically ensure everyone knew who you were on sight, and potentially have you marked as free use.”

    “What do you mean free use?” Taylor asked. “And why does the way you said it fill me with dread?”

    “Remember, this is something you’d have to select, and there’s basically only two ways to get it,” Cindy said to preface. “Being free use basically means that anyone who wants to is able to do pretty much whatever they want with you. I don’t recommend it unless you’re very much into the idea.”

    “I’m definitely not interested,” Taylor replied, somewhat sickened. “Why would anyone agree to that?”

    Cindy shrugged. “Some people are into that kind of thing. It’s not something I care for, and I didn’t think you would, either. Still, even if you do want to have free reign to go outside, you don’t need to put up with that.”

    “That’s good to know,” Taylor said. “But I think I’ll take your suggestion and try to get people to go with me instead.”

    “It usually works out fairly well, unless all of your roommates end up being assholes or something, which is unlikely.” Cindy paused for a moment before saying, “Anyway, that’s it for entertainment options. There’s only one more section of things to go through before we’ll start working on paying for everything.”

    Taylor sighed tiredly. “Alright, what is it?”

    “Would you like to try any of our experimental drugs?” Cindy asked.

    “What part of ‘no drugs’ did you miss?” Taylor answered snidely.

    Cindy waved it off, “Oh, I don’t mean recreational drugs. We also develop medicinal drugs, which is what this section’s about. You can either pay to have access to them, for either the span of your run or for your entire life, or you can be paid to have mandatory injections or to have nanobots injected that’ll continuously make the medication for the rest of your life.”

    “Why would I want any of that?” Taylor asked incredulously.

    “Well,” Cindy began, “the drugs do things like increase your libido, sensitivity, or fluid output, so some people enjoy that. I know I do. It’s also a good way to gain a lot of credits without having to select as many punishments. I can see why you might be against the idea, but you should keep them in mind. They are an option, that’s all.”

    “Alright,” Taylor agreed. “I’ll keep it in mind, but I don’t think I’m going to be signing up for them.”

    “No problem,” Cindy said, standing. “Anyway, that’s probably enough for today. You look pretty tired.”

    “Yeah,” Taylor agreed. “This is wearing me out more than I thought it would.”

    “I’ll be heading out, then.” Cindy packed up her laptop and made her way to the door and added, “I’ll see you, alright? Get some sleep and think about any changes you may want to make with what we’ve come up with so far. You can change it as much as you want before I submit it. Good night, Taylor.”

    “Good night, Cindy,” Taylor replied, stifling a yawn. Once the redhead had left, she made her way to bed, her mind swirling with various possibilities.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2018
  14. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    Snipped for length

    1. Enjoy figuring out how to call in your arrests then. This is one of the bits of Taylor I loathe the most. The boneheaded stupidity that is just about on the level of "___relative___ died walking past a building with balconies and not looking up enough in paranoia, so I refuse to go near buildings with balconies, or openable windows where things can drop on my head"
    If someone dies of text-and-drive or similar, that's freak accident + user error. You'd think she never grew out of the "parents are perfect" stage properly by the time she was twelve. Must be a serious learning disability then.
    I mean sure I didn't pick cellphone either as I wouldn't have anyone to keep in contact with and in public you're safer without the distraction, but the reasoning pisses me off every damned time I see it unless very quickly followed by object lessons on practicality in Taylor's environment or expected environment (i.e. caping).
    Sadly we'll have to wait until she's back on Bet for that lesson.

    2. The computer has internet access. So... other than an expanded porn selection, the computer covers everything if you rules lawyer at all. Unfortunately Taylor Hebert generally has severe tunnel vision problems and cannot into social-fu (including rules lawyering) one bit which means Annette and Danny really didn't put much effort into raising her.
    Annette: ex-femiNazi who was competent enough socially to get out.
    Danny: Has to negotiate contracts for a de facto work gang in a shithole of a city--the DWU wouldn't have guys keep coming to him for work after this many years if he wasn't exceedingly good at finding job contracts!
    Taylor: Mental disability in social actions. The old chatterbox and highly-dependent-on-one-friend are both potentially BAD symptoms...
    The only explanation for how bad Taylor is... is congenital mental illness that started long before Emma went off the rails. Really, she seems worse at living like a human than Rachel Lindt for fuck's sake.

    3. She's going to be mighty curious about that strength potion if she ever learnt to READ THE FINE PRINT OF THE CONTRACTS INSTEAD OF JUST LISTENING TO SOMEONE RAILROADING HER.
    Taylor's horrible negotiations abilities make about as much sense as the teenage kid of an electrician not picking up "don't push a fork into an electrical outlet with your tongue"...


    I amply look forward to how Taylor's stubbornness gets her into all sorts of horrible Punishments in exchange for not conceding anything in the earlier or later sections.


    You will notice that I am harsh on protagonist failure to take their missions/contracts/lives seriously. The specific reasons can be found by searching the "fics you just gave up on" thread for the three (or latter two) words A Cloudy Path (which I recommend to all High-Powered-Taylor authors). So no, this isn't me flaming you or your Taylor. It's just a general aversion to protagonists making the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

    Here, the stupid mistake is NOT DEMANDING THE FULL DOCUMENTATION OF THE CONTRACT (even if Cindy's just giving her a verbal overview) TO LOOK THROUGH THE WHOLE DAMNED THING.

    There are few things that readers tend to (on average) hate more than "more baggage than an airport" protagonists. A common one is a protagonist that fucks up the same way repeatedly. Please try not to fall into that group.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2018
  15. RageKnight

    RageKnight My heresy senses are tingling

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    Guess they don't want to have mind sex with a [QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR]. I guess no one told them hooking up with QA gives a 1000% buff to all mental actions.
     
  16. GladiusLucix

    GladiusLucix Versed in the lewd.

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    I just want to say that you're making the classic mistake of CYOA based fics, and explaining the build. It adds little to the story that couldn't be done with the build under spoiler tags at the start, plus there is literally nothing happening in the last two chapters, and nothing will for the next one or two, except for the potential owner meetings. The entire scene is all tell, no show.

    I guess Taylor's reactions and reasoning add something, but, in my opinion, not enough to make up for the fact that the fic has started to drag. It doesn't help that this entire chapter was making choices that were, with the exception of the AI, entirely mundane, while the portion about the body modding, something unusual and interesting, got three or four paragraphs.

    In my opinion, it would benefit the fic if you skipped over Taylor filling out the rest of the CYOA, and simply let the owners and/or jobs be a surprise, that we find out once Taylor gets to that point in her schedule.
     
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  17. FreshwaterPlimpie

    FreshwaterPlimpie Know what you're doing yet?

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    Is Taylor still on painkiller or other meds?
    Because she's being very casual talking about potentially exposing herself to things that the fanon ABB uses to break girls.
     
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  18. Extras: Omake by Cmptrwz: Legal Requirements
    CmptrWz

    CmptrWz Getting some practice in, huh?

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    I can think of one way to skip Taylor going over the contract. In fact, I wrote a mini-omake for it.



    “Thanks for letting me in,” the woman began. “I’m sorry you had to deal with Jacob. He’s an ass.” She made her over to the seat Jacob had used before, parking the cart at the end of Taylor’s bed as she passed. “Anyway, I’m Cindy Matos, and I’ll be working with you to finalize your contract once you’re ready.”

    “So when is my father being called in?” Taylor asked, glaring at Cindy.

    Cindy blinked. “Why would your father be called in?”

    Taylor’s glare changed into a look that said Cindy was an idiot. “Because I’m underage and can’t sign contracts without him?”

    Cindy blinked again, before she growled. “My apologies Miss Hebert, but I appear to need to check on exactly what Tricher had you sign, because he was supposed to check that you were of legal age to sign anything before you were even removed from the hospital.”

    Taylor wasn’t quite sure how to react as Cindy stormed out of the room.



    Outside of that kind of situation I figure that it would be out of character for Taylor to not be going through the contract, and more out of character to ignore Cindy's so-far sensible-seeming input.

    That said, I also expect that she'll want to read the final version very carefully before it gets signed and submitted.
     
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  19. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Seriously? Cindy didn't mention the one Experimental Drug Taylor might actually be interested in, the Strength Booster?
    Ummm... Nothing Taylor's selected is set in stone. Cindy's repeatedly said they can go back and adjust stuff as they're going through punishments to figure out everything.

    Right now is just a "This is everything positive I want" list that's mostly disregarding the total cost, the same thing you'd typically do when designing a COYA before going over costs and making compromises.
    You do realize that at least 10 chapters have been written past what's been posted, right?

    And it may be slower paced for now, but there's nothing wrong with a few expositional chapters at the start of a new fic.
     
  20. ToxinTurian

    ToxinTurian Needs more giant bugs.

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    That's actually a bit of fanon that I haven't seen in a while. Taylor herself has no prohibitive aversion to cell phones; in Gestation 1.4 she mentions that she wished she'd thought to get one rather than just having change for a payphone. It's Danny who has an aversion to them, which is why he didn't buy one for Taylor. Another relevant quote:
     
  21. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Taylor is taking things seriously. Taylor hasn't finalized anything yet, and won't, until after she looks everything over at the end.

    As for protagonists fucking up the same way repeatedly? That's called a learning curve, and not everyone can pick up new ideas immediately. I'm sure you can't remember it properly, but how long did it take you to tie your shoes properly? Did you make the same mistake a few times then? The same idea applies here. Humans don't always learn from their mistakes the first time they make them. That said, Taylor is not making the same mistake she made before. Besides that, learning how to trust people to not fuck her over will actually be a good development for her mental health, provided said people aren't trying to fuck her over. You can still be paranoid even if they are out to get you, and it's not healthy.

    You're assuming QA doesn't just eat their brains or something instead. They're probably also worried about the continent sized remark. That's a bit outside most psychics' range. I mean, if Professor X was there, he might consider giving it a shot, but I'm not sure how many others have the range to handle it.

    That was not a consideration I had at the time I wrote the chapter... however, it's probably still a factor.

    Respectfully, I disagree with most of your points. Most CYOAs I've seen that have made the 'classic mistake' dryly list off every detail without any form of character interaction (or worse, post a spoiler-worthy filled out CYOA and then never actually write anything). I'm sorry you don't think the amount of world building I'm attempting to put into the first arc gives anything to the story, but everyone has there own opinion. Additionally, the choices Taylor will make differ significantly from what she would have chosen had I not written anything out. It's amazing what allowing characters and situations evolve organically can do.

    If you really don't want to deal with reading through the world building, character development, and background happening that will be revealed during the time Taylor is filling out the CYOA, I would recommend waiting until July 3, when Arc 2 should start. That way, you can be surprised by all the backstory that isn't explained later because it's already been explained.

    I apologize if that came across more angry than I intended. I typed this up with a headache right before heading to bed.

    She's no longer on painkillers or other meds. That said, which things mentioned would be used to break someone? Getting a new computer or an AI? Setting them up with the idea for a lucrative business? They haven't actually gotten to any of the questionable choices yet. And Cindy isn't about to put things into terms that would send Taylor running away screaming. That's just bad for business.

    Ah, that was fun. Have a threadmark. Of course, the story of Danny being involved in essentially pimping out his daughter could be amusing. On the other hand, based on the lower limit of your age options, I'm assuming SL starts their 'legal to sign binding contracts' age a hell of a lot lower than most.

    Why would she? Taylor wasn't interested in the concept, and it isn't Cindy's job to know exactly what Taylor would be interested in. She's not a psychic, after all.

    Pretty much all of this. There's three ways to fill out a CYOA, and one of them doesn't make any sense: trying to keep everything balanced as you go. When I don't know the general idea of what I want, I tend to start with "What things would I like to get" followed by "How do I pay for it?" and "What trade offs am I willing to make?" Others use the "What am I willing to pay?" first method. Both are valid, but I think they're better suited to different CYOAs.

    Nope, what I had Taylor said, as I had her say it, is completely canon. Her reasoning for not taking the cell phone is either "I don't want it" or "Dad wouldn't want me to have one." Now, Cindy didn't press the point, because she made an assumption of the former reasoning, so she didn't find out it was more the latter reason. Of course, there's still plenty of time for Taylor to possibly change her mind.
     
  22. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Erm, Cindy does know Taylor's very interested in improving her physical condition for her eventual heroing. She even had a full discussion on the topic with her boss.

    That's the one experimental drug Taylor might be interested in within the bounds of Cindy's knowledge. Meanwhile, the sexual ones (ie. all the other ones) are ones Cindy can easily guess Taylor wouldn't be interested in.

    *edit- random thought of the day: What would a hetrosexual-only male's build look like for Slut life? There are a number of options that would work for a male build, and Alternative Fluid would make many of the punishments much less of a punishment (forced to drink a glass of breastmilk with every meal, rather than semen, for example). Note that hetro-sexual doesn't exclude things like tentacle monsters (there are ones that go after males, and not all of those use anal).

    *edit2- wow, I actually managed to build a het-male SL build (with ALL the positive [to a sane person] long-term upgrades) up to Secret Society Membership... Without going really overboard on the punishments (although owners might be a bit rough... not nearly as bad as it would be for a girl though), and even staying away from the hardcore bondage (outside of the cow/bull job).
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2018
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  23. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    This assumes she feels the benefits would out way the side effects, or that she thinks the various mods will prevent the side effect happening, along with whether she thinks the drug version of strength is better than actually exercising for a year. My take on it was that there's something like an 80% chance it would work correctly and a 20% chance you'd get hit by the side effects, without any benefit. So far, none of my CYOAs have included Strength Booster for this reason.

    So, basically, it comes down to us disagreeing on what that drug probably does.
     
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  24. january1may

    january1may Versed in the lewd.

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    What with Cindy listing all the options elsewhere, including the "some people are into that kind of thing" ones, even when it was clear that Taylor is extremely unlikely to pick them, I'm somewhat surprised to see Cindy skipping over any option.

    (Mind you, between the "experimental" thing, the "drug" thing, and the side effects, Taylor might well not want to pick it anyway.)
     
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  25. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    Learning curve is more of a thing for minor things like, as you said, tying shoelaces.

    "HOLY CRAP I JUST SIGNED MYSELF INTO SLAVERY" is more like suicide attempts. The grossly overwhelming majority of failed suicides do not try again.

    Or alternatively "I just shot myself in the foot. I will be more careful with guns in the future UNLESS I AM BUGFUCK RETARDED (which, given Taylor canonically breeds "bugs" and much of her canon decision-making... is literally correct)"

    Another common problem is that when the feedback is nearing a majority or more negative, you should probably reconsider the direction of the plot/story (like how I had to rewrite parts of CMDR Taylor Hebert).

    The one experimental drug I CAN see a terminally depressed girl taking, while weighing the risks, would be the STAMINA drug.

    Because the side-effect is orgasm not providing relief, and that's irrelevant to her (not planning to have sex). Lasting longer in bed means lasting longer in other physical endeavors too, which is important for a HERO (TM).

    Do you think the stamina drug only boosts resistance to sex? Because if it also boosts general endurance and the side-effect is something a suicidally depressed girl doesn't care about (because I highly doubt Taylor ever masturbates or even has significant libido due to her depression, so orgasms being no relief is irrelevant to her) then I can totally see her taking it.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2018
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  26. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Welp, I can tell Taylor's never ever played a points-based RPG.

    You don't ever start with "what can I have?"

    You start with "what can I live with having to do?"

    Specifically, you start with the disadvantages (ie, how she's paying for all this). You divide them into "NOPE!", "maybe, if I'm really pressed" and "yeah, I can live with that". The middle section has a sliding scale for 'really pressed', of course.

    You go through that with a fine-toothed comb. You min-max the fuck out of it. And you make sure you're absolutely, positively informed about the downsides of every single disadvantage you're considering. And you never, ever assume that the disadvantage will never come up. Because they will. Always.

    Once you've decided on what you can actually live with ... then you start picking out what you can afford. Never the other way around.

    Never.

    The reason for this is simple (and it's the same reason they put the bonuses up front, before the negatives). Because once you decide you're going to get something, it takes a distinct effort of will not to go past your personal limits in order to achieve it. Starting in the black and buying your way into the red, rather than vice versa, is the only way to go.


    Also: it seems Cindy has neglected to tell Taylor that it's possible to get through the year without being required to have sex. And Taylor seems to have accepted that she will be having sex a lot more readily than I'd thought, given her comment “From the sounds of it, I’m going to be too busy having sex with people to use any of it.”
     
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  27. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    You mean she's never played the game of "Living in Brockton Bay", because that's points-based.
    As in shopping is points-based: MONEY
    Taylor has apparently never had to even think about taking a summer job to earn more money for snacks and candy and toys or something, nor about how much candy she can buy with a certain amount of money.
    You always count your money first before you think about what you can buy with it, and she never learnt that. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

    And this Taylor is very sadly in-character by getting shafted and just shrugging because she's used to being shafted by authority figures. She is canonically not a typical teenage schoolgirl in characterization for good reason, so that she can keep on making stupid decisions.

    And let's not forget another WILDBOW PLOT HOLE in the form of "Taylor only thinks of money as 'enough' or 'not enough'", which is so utterly out of character for someone raised in a shitty economy that it is in fairy tale princess airhead land!!11!!

    Seriously, poor people's kids have to grow up mentally a lot faster than rich brats, and Taylor... well, congenital disorders are the best reasoning I have for Taylor.

    EDIT: The big problem really isn't "Taylor is awful with large sums of money". This is "Taylor can't be bothered to deal with gaining/using 200-something credits", which should be well within her ability to mentally process.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2018
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  28. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Guardian54

    Could you please stop with the constant barrage of "Taylor's mentally retarded" comments?

    Seriously, you're wrong about almost everything you've said in every one of the posts you've made like that.

    "Poor kids are better at handling money than rich kids"
    Yea... No. As someone who grew up in a poor household I can say with certainty that most poor kids never get to learn about money management until they actually get their first job, why? Because they never get the chance to learn. How are you going to learn money management without having money to manage? Rich kids meanwhile get allowances that gives them practical experience managing their money. Not to mention the whole thing of a good deal of poor people are poor because they're bad at money management, and if you're bad at money management, how are you going to teach it to your kids? An enough vs not enough view of money is common when you've not had to micro-manage your cash before.

    "Taylor's a retard because she didn't read the fine-print of the contestant registration form."
    Taylor DID read the entire thing before signing. NOTHING in it suggested anything sexual. She got screwed over.

    Although I do wonder why she hasn't asked what happens if she refuses to sign the full contract (seriously, one of my main questions from the beginning has been what SL Corp would/could do in that scenario, because without that signed contract they can't legally do anything sexual to her, SL fics ALWAYS make a big point of "you agreed to this in your contract, you've signed away your consent"... At this point, Taylor hasn't done that yet though).

    Yea, no porn without the porn option.
     
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  29. Guardian54

    Guardian54 Versed in the lewd.

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    Right, poor is not the right term. "Lower middle class" is more correct, as I agree that you are correct, poor kids don't have any money to practice with and often the parents are horrid at it from lack of lessons from their parents.

    I'm from a lower middle class family that used to be higher middle class (before we immigrated to Canada). My allowance was 10$ a month (dwarfed by the cash I raked in from competition wins though).
    I managed to avoid spending ANY of it by... well, overwhelmingly through convincing my parents that whatever thing was an educational investment (they didn't skimp on those, at all). Then again the number of video games I asked them to buy for me could be counted on one hand and even then I took so long going through the bargain bins they never took it out of my allowance...

    So my number one money management strategy? "Spend someone else's money"... which served me well in seeking financial aid at university.
    I did have some major fuckups such as actually ordering grad photos through my university when I could have just put the regalia on and taken photos at home. "Penny wise, pound foolish" crops up randomly I guess... but I was pinchy as hell for most sums.

    Taylor is lower middle class, but her family used to be higher middle class back when Annette was alive.
    She probably got to learn how to administer pocket change for sweets or snacks at some point back when Annette was still alive. Hence my overly high expectations.
     
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  30. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Guardian54

    You also seem to fail to consider just how severely the protracted bullying campaign damaged Taylor, psychologically (Oh, there's a thought... Does advanced Health Care cover mental health? Because god knows Taylor needs some help on that front... and she really needs any counseling to not be aired to everyone... Counseling can't help if you can't talk about deeply personal stuff).

    Not only is Taylor depressed (something that on it's own can cause a person to shutdown) to a near suicidal level (doesn't hit suicidal until nothing is done because of the Locker), but socially and emotionally stunted. This is the type of thing that can affect people into their 60's, and you're complaining about the effects when they're relatively new and easy to fix.

    Not to mention her overly-earned trust issues.

    I'd also put Taylor's family at upper-lower class, not lower-middle class. Teachers never earn much, even college ones; and the shipyard's been a graveyard since before Taylor was born, so no major income on that front.
     
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