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Still funny one timeline we have the kazuma x Saber love route slowly progressing and the other demon king saber being tricked by YunYun of all people its glorious
Nobody expects the Yunyun deception!

I don't know I kinda don't like the slow burn saber x kazuma going on in the HSR timeline. I'm waiting for kazuma to do something to fuck it up.
Little surprising to hear...may I ask why? Poorly done, rushed, or something else?

It may be just me, but I'm getting a little tired and burnt out of Rin and Illya's little feud

Also wonder what's Kazuma's plan against Gil, pretend to kiss Artoria in front of him to get on his nerves... More than he already is?

I doubt I can one up this part so it'll probably be over in the next chapter.

Got something else in mind for the plan vs Gil, but that consideration did pop up for a different thing.
 
Little surprising to hear...may I ask why? Poorly done, rushed, or something else?
You did 1arc with kazuma being antagonist towards saber, the 2nd arc he basically went out of his way to piss her off. I know arc 3 kazuma is just arc 1 kazuma branch out to a different timeline, it just feels like you back peddled so you can have a saber x kazuma subplot.
 
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Nobody expects the Yunyun deception!
They never do. YunYun is rge one true MVP that know one will ever know.

Woth the kazuma x Saber subplot i like it. As its something I was surprised by. Would be intrested if HSR Saber and Demon King Saber somehow meet eachother as I want their reactions to each other.
 
You did 1arc with kazuma being antagonist towards saber, the 2nd arc he basically went out of his way to piss her off. I know arc 3 kazuma is just arc 1 kazuma branch out to a different timeline, it just feels like you back peddled so you can have a saber x kazuma subplot.

I can see why you would think that, and to an extent that is true. Though I do recall some people were not happy with the Saber treatment in both those and was curious if I could make a somehow more amiable thing between them. I also have an idea for a Sakura focused arc, but not sure if that will be more or less difficult than this one.
 
Well, I left for some time and had too many chapters to comment all of them like I usually do, so I will just comment on the most impactfull things to me

1) I love this dinamic between Kazuma and Saber, they joined forces against a worse enemy in the twins, and get to learn that they have more in common that they expected

I also love how she ate his mashed potatoes healing from the trauma Gawain gave her

2) The beef between Illya and Rin was glorious, but she really needs to stop going for dead relatives, and Darkness, don't go that route or Rin will find a wat punish you that you won't enjoy, she will exclusivelly call you Lalatina, will force you to use dresses, will make it so you are never hit in the missions, this is hell you are walking into

3) Yunyun being MVP was soo satisfying, with the birds of Avia-lon using that grudge for their advantage (Mordred definitelly did it on purpose), at this point Kazuma will need to ask Yunyun to marry him

4) Gil was as OP as I expected, in fact they should be happy he is still in Penacony since he has a WHOLE SPACESHIP THAT CAN MOVE FASTER THAN LIGHT
No, literally, that Flying Throne he has had a Spaceship mode but he prefered the throne

And seeing what happened with the Aeon, Herta being backstabed(or Backbonked in this case) and all the army of Penacony in his side, they may need an Servantverse servant to help, I would like to propose Calamity Jeanne, or Astera

5) The subplot of Grady having to be convinced to participate was also hilarious also

'If I knew a woman like her wasthere, I would have gladly gone to Penacony sooner! Oh, to feel this way again after death!' Grady thinks, making Skott stare with an open mouth.
Grady, I don't believe I'm saying this but I get you

6) The part of the Guinevere face was entertaining, btw did you knew that in the manga she looked like a Hakunoface? Arty has a type

7) The cult forming from Rin was something I didn't expected but was very entertaining, they also are in her same wavelenght
"They're thinking of burning down the manor!"

"…They really do understand me…" Rin says with a slight grin, making Aqua vibrate in low fury.
They really get her, wonder how will they react to Kazuma when he cames back?

8) Well, Gil has extra help but the Express has too so that's something

9) I'm not sure Herc's master understands how Anti inmortality coded Gil is, I'm not sure how his works but I'm pretty sure he doesn't get just how Bullshit Hercs is

10) All the Shirou's are suffering and I enjoy it

All in all pretty good, keep going
 
Well, I left for some time and had too many chapters to comment all of them like I usually do, so I will just comment on the most impactfull things to me

1) I love this dinamic between Kazuma and Saber, they joined forces against a worse enemy in the twins, and get to learn that they have more in common that they expected

I also love how she ate his mashed potatoes healing from the trauma Gawain gave her

2) The beef between Illya and Rin was glorious, but she really needs to stop going for dead relatives, and Darkness, don't go that route or Rin will find a wat punish you that you won't enjoy, she will exclusivelly call you Lalatina, will force you to use dresses, will make it so you are never hit in the missions, this is hell you are walking into

3) Yunyun being MVP was soo satisfying, with the birds of Avia-lon using that grudge for their advantage (Mordred definitelly did it on purpose), at this point Kazuma will need to ask Yunyun to marry him

4) Gil was as OP as I expected, in fact they should be happy he is still in Penacony since he has a WHOLE SPACESHIP THAT CAN MOVE FASTER THAN LIGHT
No, literally, that Flying Throne he has had a Spaceship mode but he prefered the throne

And seeing what happened with the Aeon, Herta being backstabed(or Backbonked in this case) and all the army of Penacony in his side, they may need an Servantverse servant to help, I would like to propose Calamity Jeanne, or Astera

5) The subplot of Grady having to be convinced to participate was also hilarious also


Grady, I don't believe I'm saying this but I get you

6) The part of the Guinevere face was entertaining, btw did you knew that in the manga she looked like a Hakunoface? Arty has a type

7) The cult forming from Rin was something I didn't expected but was very entertaining, they also are in her same wavelenght

They really get her, wonder how will they react to Kazuma when he cames back?

8) Well, Gil has extra help but the Express has too so that's something

9) I'm not sure Herc's master understands how Anti inmortality coded Gil is, I'm not sure how his works but I'm pretty sure he doesn't get just how Bullshit Hercs is

10) All the Shirou's are suffering and I enjoy it

All in all pretty good, keep going

I was slow in getting back to this. Didn't realize a month already passed. Glad to see your long comments again.

1. Glad to hear, though I am unsure if it is too quick given other comments here and on a03.

2. Darkness has other concerns atm, and I am like 90% sure this is the last one for the moment between them.

3. I think Kazuma might be taken in this fic. Yunyun still a good girl.

4. True, but shouldn't the mongrels carry him elsewhere? Plus he still has business on Penacony.

5. There will be more moments with Grady.

6. I went by the wiki and only recalled it saying something like 'a beauty in glasses' I don't think the pic was too detailed if there was one.

7. Wouldn't be a good cult or fan club if they didn't understand her, even if accidentally.

8. Indeed...Hopefully everyone can have a moment to shine. I have been fairly bad on some of the Servants.

9. I thought it was more brute force and pinning enemies down? I know Herc's immortality, busted as it is does have a hard limit at 12 lives.

10. I could have sworn you liked Amakusa? Or am I mistaken?

I will try.
 
I was slow in getting back to this. Didn't realize a month already passed. Glad to see your long comments again.
Same happened with me, just had one of those times where I just can't write big paragraphs

1. Glad to hear, though I am unsure if it is too quick given other comments here and on a03.
The fact they only choose to work together out of spite against someone else was what catched me

2. Darkness has other concerns atm, and I am like 90% sure this is the last one for the moment between them.
Ok, right, I forgot she also was against the "Using deceased family members against you"
In other news I wonder what is Megumin thinking about the fatality rate of japanese mages, when she learns about the grail war she will have a Chuunigasm XD

3. I think Kazuma might be taken in this fic. Yunyun still a good girl.
Yunyun is best girl

4. True, but shouldn't the mongrels carry him elsewhere? Plus he still has business on Penacony.
Fair enough, and that sounds so Gilgamesh that it fits XD

5. There will be more moments with Grady.
Nice, I love him

6. I went by the wiki and only recalled it saying something like 'a beauty in glasses' I don't think the pic was too detailed if there was one.
As I said it was in one of the mangas but it didn't showed the face, it's just that the silluete reminder people about Hakunon
Guinevere
The image doesn't want to be shared in here but I can show you it, it comes from the Wiki

7. Wouldn't be a good cult or fan club if they didn't understand her, even if accidentally.
It worked, it worked soo much

8. Indeed...Hopefully everyone can have a moment to shine. I have been fairly bad on some of the Servants.
They are still very endearing so you are doing good, also Cu is enjoying this grail war and understand the twins taste with Kafka(Seeing what happened with Scathatch and her sister he understand it very well)

9. I thought it was more brute force and pinning enemies down? I know Herc's immortality, busted as it is does have a hard limit at 12 lives.
Remember that he has all the weapons, he can just use something like Gae dearg or Gae Bolg for injuries that don't heal unless the spear is broken or the curse is lifted, but his main anti inmortals would be Harpe wich was Perseus scythe that he used against Medusa wich makes it so all the injuries made with that weapon are only healed by natural ways, and by natural I mean by natural for normal humans

10. I could have sworn you liked Amakusa? Or am I mistaken?
I like him, but I'm also a sadistic prick

All we can ask for
 

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