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Forging Ahead (GURPS Interstellar Wars/Celestial Forge)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by cliffc999, Nov 12, 2022.

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  1. Sonifri

    Sonifri Is this the face of a villain?

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    Celestial Professor. Instead of instantly gaining knowledge directly, you can conjure projections of Professors who can teach the knowledge. With a non-genius protagonist, this would immensely complicate the process. You'd probably have to go talent scouting or start some kind of underground super college.
     
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  2. kayfizzlejosh

    kayfizzlejosh Getting sticky.

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    That reminds me of this older "History CYOA" by phylogenik on /r/MakeYourChoice, specifically the first option, the "Council of Greatness". You could definitely accomplish some major things, but it would take a lot of work (and you will generally find your results tilt more towards the soft sciences and pure math, less so chemistry, biology, etc).
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Kyrin Fireheart

    Kyrin Fireheart Know what you're doing yet?

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    Sad to see it go but I understand. Hope inspiration strikes again soon because I just enjoy your writing. Hell take some time off and just write a fluff/crack piece if ya need it. Maybe another Jumper story? Always love a good jumper story and your Davion MC was a fun one.
     
  4. GeekGod_of_Speed

    GeekGod_of_Speed Not too sore, are you?

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    What seems to be the main issue when writing? Is it just writing yourself into corners?
     
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  5. G1336

    G1336 Making the rounds.

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    For what it’s worth, I enjoyed the story and am looking forward to your next one. Thanks for all the hard work you put into things and please don’t think that you are unappreciated.
     
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  6. Jangofet54

    Jangofet54 Getting out there.

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    Ahhh just got the notification that this story's being dropped, big bummer, but it was good while it lasted. I love your works (even the ones that aren't finished yet) anywho I'll keep an eye out for the next one you work on. Thanks for everything and have a happy holidays.
     
  7. ShaperV

    ShaperV Experienced.

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    Heck, I still struggle with that and I've published half a dozen books. For me it was a matter of trying different things until I figured out what my comfort zone is, and then staying inside it when I'm trying to write something for publication. But I still do a lot of experimental writing, trying to do things that are new for me, and those efforts often die after a few chapters just like the average fanfiction.

    If you decide to take another shot at this concept at some point, I wouldn't recommend anything from the CYOA/JumpChain ecology of ideas. Fundamentally they're all designed for people who want to write a 2000-word ascent to godhood, which makes them so overpowered that it's a struggle to use them in a story of any length. Instead, I'd recommend Scholar's Advanced Technological System for an example of the kind of power level that works for a serious story.

    Now, this is a translated Chinese web novel, so the actual writing has some issues. But this guy managed to write 1,600 chapters of his MC actually doing science in RL Earth, with no alien invasions or urban fantasy or anything else trying to turn it into an adventure story. It's just the tale of a guy trying to build a career as an academic genius super-scientists in a world where people like that don't exist, and yet it manages to have a lot of surprisingly interesting plot arcs before it gets stale.

    What makes that possible is the fact that the MC's System doesn't do all the work for him. It doesn't hand out complete knowledge of entire scientific fields, or crazy reality-defying perks, or guarantees of success at anything. Instead it lets him buy up his potential in a given field, but he still has to work for his actual knowledge and skills. It lets him buy hints when he gets stuck on a problem, but not entire fields of knowledge. At various points in the story it gives him other bonuses, like a temporary super-learning ability or broken samples of advanced technology to study, but this is always done in a way that prevents the MC from stacking up bonuses to become a demigod.

    I took a shot at cleaning up the system for a quest in Saving the World with my Scientific System, and it's pretty easy to make variations on this idea that come in at the right power level for a sustainable story. Obviously you'd want something a little stronger for a cyberpunk or superhero setting, or even weaker for a really low-powered RL setting. But it's a lot easier to start with a weak gimmick and make it stronger than to start with godlike cosmic power and try to nerf it to something reasonable.
     
  8. sdeligar

    sdeligar Making the rounds.

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    Well, I'm sad to see it go. Honestly, after reading the original chapter 8 I was excited because I figured that was the start of the real story. Earth is in a good place with FTL comms giving them enough of an advantage to win the next war plus I figure if Sophia has any notes of her ideas for new FTL engines the military would probably find them eventually when they start investigating her disappearance so even if they can't build the new FTL maybe some of the math and ideas in there would allow them to improve in new directions. Either way, Earth is good for a long while so I figured that would lead to Sophia working on this new world to provide Earth with some allies for the future.

    I figured maybe the locals on this new planet had encountered Grandfather before. Maybe they were the dominant empire back when the Imperium was still young and Grandfather pulled something that caused the empire to fall and left these survivors unable to leave the planet for some reason though they have knowledge that they used to be a space-faring race. Figured that would give you a chance to build your own canon story in the universe and give Sophia a challenge that tech alone couldn't fix.
     
  9. cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

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    That's encouraging, thanks! :)

    *thinking out loud*

    My comfort zones, as near as I'm self-aware of them (which ain't 100%) seem to be adventure themed stories focused on small parties, and also PG-13 romance (at least if the reaction to my attempted otome draft snippets in my snippets thread or the MC/Amy Madison romance in my most recent Jumpchain on SB was any indicator). So, how the hell do I combine that with a tech-wank fic?

    ... without visiting a major superhero setting, because Marvel and DC invite endless fan arguments and I am not going back to Earth-Bet, that place drives me insane.

    Ah well, I don't have to figure out the question of 'what do I do next?' all today.
     
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  10. Jeff091

    Jeff091 Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Thank you for the story.
     
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  11. ses

    ses Experienced.

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    I'm about to start reading it, thanks for the rec. Going by the synopsis it sounds a lot like Saving the World Wi-

    Oh hey turns out it's for a reason. Scientific System was one of my favorite threads you've made and I regularly go back to reread it and wish for more despite it not having lasted very long. Really excited to read this story now.

    My first thought is to have the MC have an explicit superpower that serves more as a limitation than a source of escalation due to forcing MC to be the rate-limiting step. If you can only shit out 10 grams of room temperature superconductor a day from the underpants dimension, that means the MC's physical presence never stops being important without having to resort to tinker blackboxing. Mass production and automation are super cool and I love them but not when it ends up making the MC not be the MC anymore. Same with teachable super-knowledge leading the MC to delegate all the fun adventure-having to non-keystone personnel.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2022
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  12. Robotkillerx

    Robotkillerx Know what you're doing yet?

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    Perhaps something along the lines of a two protagonists that are each other's love interests? One is the adventure/combat/etc type while the other is the tech wanker? You could easily switch between povs of the two depending on what you want to write at the moment? Feel like writing writing fun combat? Switch to the pov of the combat protag. Want to write about using tech to break the magic/xianxia/cosmic horror horror setting? Write the pov of the love interest. Could easily see a magic fantasy setting in which the magic stumbles across the tech protag and the two two hit it off and work together to survive/overcome all their foes by combining their different but equally broken abilities/powers. Alone they might have failed/died simply because they couldn't grow powerful enough as quickly as needed but together they might just be able to gather enough influence/allies/power quickly enough to make it through?

    Anyways, sad to see this story die. Despite not exactly being happy with the original chapter 8 I will miss this story.
     
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  13. Blade4

    Blade4 Experienced.

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    Not just professor but also leaders. And they dont get to really choose who shows up to help. Take battletech for example. Say she needs someone good at political manipulation. Maybe she gets Katrina Steiner or her daughter Melissa Steiner-Davion who helped architect the Federated Commonwealth and reformed their state from a corrupt mess... Or perhaps she gets Katherine Steiner-Davion the granddaughter who murdered her mother and pinned it on her brother and stole his throne while he fought the clans.
     
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  14. GeekGod_of_Speed

    GeekGod_of_Speed Not too sore, are you?

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    My Hero Academia, The Boys (?), and Invincible are the only other superhero universes with possibility of substance I’m vaguely aware of. The incredible’s by Disney doesn’t have enough background to even build of off and out of these I’ve only ever consumed MHA and it’s kinda cool and has huge fanfiction potential if you avoid shoehorning the MC into the school.
    There’s also “Heroes” I think it’s called, it was a tv show and the protagonist was a power copier, and the antagonist has a power that allows him to understand how something works this allowing him to steal powers by observing other Enhanced brains and his rampage was stopped after he got X-ray vision

    You could also solve it the same way Dr Who and Star Trek do it with a Prime Directive, or possibly it’s only understandable with an extra sense that allows an instinctive understanding of time or a psychic field of some type that can’t be replicated, it’s something you’re born with or your not similar to the force or magic.

    Its the issue that Brockton Bays Celestial Forge has, after he got his clones he doesn’t seem to be doing much crafting anymore, only describing the fact that he crafted something unbelievable using this and that and it’s only just possible because of this useless ability that does the exact same thing as his other half a dozen
     
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  15. demondarkking

    demondarkking Experienced.

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    cliffc999 Well, looking at this... how about revisiting Girl Genius? Your snips set there were some of the earlier pieces of work I read from you, which encouraged me to go look for more of your stories. I thought they were a lot of fun.

    It's pretty much tailor made for tech, and isn't nearly as overpowered as various CYOA or Jumpchain powers while still allowing for very impressive feats if you build up to the high end with a stronger spark or its second awakening (requiring a supporting education and special resources, along with a certain amount of time for anything really huge). The culture of the setting seems to emphasize romance over rapidly developing sexual relationships, and things like the Hetrodyne Boys or the main cast lend themselves to stories about small adventuring parties, with a larger supporting cast, traveling the world and making a difference as they establish themselves as powers. You could insert into a variety of people, create a single point of departure exploring how a canon character is affected by a single change, add an OC that joins the cast in canon or pre-canon eras, or just create a character inspired to act in a similar manner by canonical examples.

    It seems to hit all of your sweet spots, and there aren't nearly enough Girl Genius fics, so it seems like a good fit...
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2022
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  16. GeekGod_of_Speed

    GeekGod_of_Speed Not too sore, are you?

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    Could anybody point me at some good inventor fiction, I don’t care if it’s power wank I just enjoy the technobabble
     
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  17. ses

    ses Experienced.

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    Honestly Cliff999 seems like the actual perfect choice of writer to make a fic about an MC with a Scientific System. I'd genuinely love to see his take on the premise.
     
  18. Tacroy

    Tacroy Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    IMO the way to continue this fic would be to skip ahead a year or so to the beginning of the fourth war, then have the CF pop up a new quest along the lines of "the fifth war is now inevitable, and at this point it's not gonna stop until there's at least one genocide. Time to kill the other fucker first."

    Then the rest of the story is Sophia trying to find a way to make peace between the two civilizations, which IMO would require doing basically the same thing she did in human space but with the Vilani (aka on hard mode). Also, turns out the CF doesn't like her working for the Vilani so it doesn't award points for helping them (or even puts her into point debt)

    I think that setup would work decently well, since throughout the story so far Vilani society has been shown to be basically the antithesis of the Celestial Forge's blazing fast developmental speed. Forcing a fight in a battlefield that's largely at odds with her actual power set (politics, bureaucracy and alliance building instead of schizotech) is generally the way to rein in MCs who have gotten too overpowered.

    Also, it would be fun to see the MC taking CF powers largely for the weird but useful side effects (like the fabricated evidence that comes with PhDs - does that work in Vilani space? Does she get new ones there?) since the actual crafting is a largely solved problem.
     
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  19. Domino

    Domino I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You could do a tech wank fic if you make the right choices while making a Laboratorium build - Weaponize, Puzzle Organs, Fractalline Shadows, Shattered Stone, Planar Laboratory, Void Armoire, Laboratorium-chan whatever else you want to get, you don't even need to be biopunk because flavor is free, you can just reskin the entire bio-organic theme as pure clarketech. Restrict yourself from buying the sorcery-related aspects, or the artifacts that let you solo whole planets, or stuff like the Breeder Room that all but eliminates your material needs, and you won't necessarily escalate to pure PA commander tier levels unless you choose that.
     
  20. Mgunh1

    Mgunh1 MONKE

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    This, so much this. CF is far too much on its own for most settings. Its why it works so well in Worm or Warhammer and so on, because those are setting that need to be broken, because Hope Is Dead, and dangerous enough that you require that kind of power just to survive.

    Basically, you need a setting in which the canon ending is pyrrhic at best. A setting that is dangerous enough that the Forger has to find allies and keep on the move, until they are strong enough to make a difference.

    Light of the Forge hit this well. They were strong, they were smart, but the world was not forgiving.

    *Thinks for a bit* You know what might work? An SI into a runty Skaven. Because it doesn't matter what your cheat power is, with Skaven involved it quickly becomes a political intrigue story.
    Or a fic using some sort of Lost In Space trope where resources are at a premium and the characters/ship has to keep moving. Works better if you lock off CF perks that give resources and deny use of the warehouse.
     
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  21. Gregory Crey

    Gregory Crey Magic is of wonder and terror. Life is so magical.

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    Cyberpunk or Shadowrun, imo. You already have a story that spent a long time in Shadowrun (and your Cyberpunk story is only a single chapter), so I suggest Cyberpunk. Afterall, no amount of scientific knowledge is going to bridge the gap and make you a corpo without the connections, so the easy life is out and their is no shortage of wrongs to right or causes to take up so there is plenty of adventure. High tech wouldn't even be seen as strange but beneficial, and its roots as an TTRPG even lends to it having a party of adventures. Plus it seems to be all the craze right now.

    As for PG-13, while sexuality is looser in Cyberpunk, including things like Mr. Studd and such, it should be easy enough to focus on the action adventure aspect and downplay that. Certainly, there are many fics on SB that manage to do so otherwise the glut of them there would be purged.
     
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  22. cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

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    Cyberpunk 2077 has sufficient 'Hope Is Dead' that you could actually take the Celestial Forge there, like Rifts. And it would actually feel like cruelty to "Light of the Forge" fans to go back to Rifts with the Forge or anything Forge-adjacent, but to leave that story still dead.

    But seriously, C2077? That fucking place is far, far bleaker than it appears to be on first glance. Like any good cyberpunk setting, the flash and the chrome keeps you from immediately noticing the full depth of the rot.

    But stop and consider that not only is the personal story of basically everyone you get to know in the game well enough to have one a super mega depressing story, but nobody gets an unmixed happy ending. No, not even my personal favorite of 'Female V and Judy ride off into the Nomad sunset together with Best Straight Friend Panam', which actually is a nice ending. It's still nice only in the sense of 'V's inevitable and not-that-far-off death will be peacefully and among family', not in the sense of 'V actually gets to live'. V never gets to live. The protag of C2077 defies the odds of her shitty world to a degree that no other mortal could reasonably hope to match... and their story is still one about coming to terms with one's own imminent mortality, not about actually succeeding. Ponder that for a minute and then consider how hopeful the C2077 franchise really isn't.

    Fuck's sake, that's the setting that made me say "Johnny's mistake was not using enough nukes." When shit is so far out of hand that actually vaporizing large chunks of the city with nuclear terrorism even begins to look reasonable, then shit is really that far out of hand.

    As for Shadowrun, I not only have done a story there but that story is still not finished, and I haven't officially cancelled it yet either. Even though "The Unconquerable" has moved on to worlds other than Shadowrun, it's still something I hope to finish someday if and when I finally get some control over my muse. What I'm doing now is brainstorming the same thing I was doing when I started "Forging Ahead"... figuring out what the fuck else to write to keep my creative juices from getting too flabby while I waited for a specific fic on long-term hiatus to hopefully rise from the dead.

    Basically, of the two cyberpunk settings I know the best, one is about as fun to visit as Brockton Bay, and the other one I've not only recently done but arguably am still in the process of doing. (I mean, even though 'The Unconquerable' has left Earth-Shadowrun, 2/3rds of the main cast are Shadowrun NPCs, the main villain is the arch-nemesis of the Shadowrun universe, and it's anchored heavily in Shadowrun cosmology.)
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2022
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  23. Vrenze

    Vrenze I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Maybe Eclispe Phase or The Expanse?

    For a lighter(?) Cyberpunk tone there is the Archie comics Sonic the Hedgehog which got pretty dark at times.

    For a different super hero setting The Boys is a (I am 14 and this is) edgy universe with yet another asshole!superman.
     
  24. cliffc999

    cliffc999 Connoisseur.

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    Haven't watched 'The Boys', don't really plan to, so, can't write for. (And the comics version is even worse.)
     
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  25. Whamo

    Whamo Getting out there.

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    Well Heck, I hope you find the system that works for you as an author. I really enjoyed this story, as I enjoyed "A Ghost of a Chance" and "The Light of the Forge" as well. I was re-reading "Ghost" just this week and the Taylor vs Coil fight was as fantastic as I remember it.

    The original CF story, Brockton's Celestial Forge, is over 1.7 million words and has covered two and a half weeks of story. The MC is already at the "just this side of Superman" level of OP and will pass that soon. So having an vastly OP MC is a thing in CF stories and I haven't seen one yet that balanced that well. I wish you well in finding that balance.

    However it turns out your writing is great and you do have fans out there who look for your words. Please keep up the good work.
     
  26. Narwhale

    Narwhale Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well, at least in my opinion, you could do something a little like this, which is something I’ve wanted to write for the past little bit (Work has been less than kind to my desire to actually put words on the screen, but that’s not the point).

    Anywho, what you’re looking for is two things. First, a techbase (or many, if you want to go that route) that is deep, comprehensive, with lots of nuance and preferably some interesting stuff deep inside it. Secondly, you need a setting that allows for large adventures. That is, if you want to go the crossover route. I personally think those make for the best techwank style fics but that’s just my opinion.

    For an example of the second part, take 40K. Hell, the place is a whole same galaxy, you can throw whatever you want into it, the place is practically a sandbox. That, and because of the scale of 40K, there’s be no end of looming threats far off in the distance. It wouldn’t be like Earth Bet because Zion isn’t a right there problem, and the story would be able to pace itself. Because nothing happens fast in 40K.

    Hell, if you’re into it, you can cast your lot in with the fantasy world tech-uplift that is so popular among certain fandoms. ASOIAF has no shortage of ways you could do an adventure techwank story, so long as you set it before the main books by a wide enough margin. You’d have to write around the less that PG-13 parts, but that’s fine.

    The techbase thing is more up to you. What tech do you find interesting, which ones can you finagle into being strong enough to compete in your given setting. My suggestion is to stick with one techbase, maybe 2 if you really want. It’ll allow you to actually delve into the techwank and find solutions to problems with just “getting more tech and then having the problem solve itself.”

    In my opinion, the setting of where you want your techwank to occur is far more important than what tech your wank. But hey, that’s just my thoughts. Lemme know if this was helpful or not.

    Edit: Oh, and I do hope your muse comes back swinging, I look forward to whatever you write next.
     
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  27. Setras

    Setras I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Noooooo! :( This was shaping up to be one of the best tech wank fics out there!

    But oh well, if you're stuck, you're stuck I guess. Thanks for what you did write, and for not just leaving us hanging.

    That said, I think you are not giving yourself enough credit. My reaction to seeing your post on my story thread was along the lines of "Holy shit! Cliffc999's reading my story! :eek:"


    All on its own I would say that Unconquerable qualifies you to claim top tier author status. It was incredible, one of the best handlings of OPness in an MC I've ever seen.

    This story was living up to the expectations it set too, at least IMO.

    I'll look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
    ... Also happy new year lol
     
  28. Beto

    Beto Know what you're doing yet?

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    loved the fic, thanks, really. wish you take another stab at CF but if not c'est la vie.
     
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  29. mannan

    mannan Versed in the lewd.

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    That could be interesting.

    Do a proper uplift story. Not those standard slap people with tech and then suddenly things advance, but force the forger to do actual social engineering where the MC has to actually build a power base, make connection, do politics and all that other stuff to advance society while navigating the culture to avoid some landmines all the while contending with the easiest option of simply building up enough force to conquer the world and then perform the uplift. An uplift where having the advanced technology is half the battle.

    Maybe incorporate the quest system here but have it with a set mission of uplifting the locals.
     
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  30. Sonifri

    Sonifri Is this the face of a villain?

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    The idea behind making the forge conjure teachers is to avoid the instantaneous knowledge assimilation that makes the power so OP. It encourages bringing other people into the conspiracy.

    If the projections were actual people with the relevant skills, that would make it more like Celestial Catalog. It still encourages one-manning it with the implied inability of a projection to betray the protagonist.

    Although that would be kind of badass if they could betray the protagonist. Imagine being able to conjure (not just a projection) and further empower with more knowledge (add more charges) fictional persons that match the skills you are wanting. However, there is no in-built loyalty. They're a completely free willed individual and if you can't keep them on team you functionally lose that avenue of knowledge. They might even become an enemy or be poached by a government or something.

    My original idea would likely be better implemented as a Celestial Penpal of sorts, like the image shown in this post:
    Where you can correspond with the well of knowledge available to the Forge.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2022
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