• An addendum to Rule 3 regarding fan-translated works of things such as Web Novels has been made. Please see here for details.
  • We've issued a clarification on our policy on AI-generated work.
  • Our mod selection process has completed. Please welcome our new moderators.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

I’ve lost the ability to form my own opinion

Daytripper

Connoisseur.
Joined
Apr 23, 2017
Messages
17,694
Likes received
209,555
I don't know what's wrong with me. Other people have pointed it out and I'm starting to think they're right. Either I've lost the ability to form my own opinion on things or I never had it to begin with. I don't know which one is worse. I've let criticisms of stuff I want to watch color me so much that it's effecting how I watch or consume it.

I need to know, is there a way out of this? I want to enjoy things again! Live in the moment and not care what YouTuber critic says or some nobody with a podcast, or someone behind the keyboard says dictate what I like and don't like?
 
For legal reasons I would suggest you continue going to therapy to get your issues treated.

For less legal advice I would advice you to stay away from social media for an extended period of time until you regain your internal dialogue & sense of self again.
 
Yeah, definitely sounds like you should quite these sites for a while.

Also: Just pick out books or movies without seeing reviews for them (before or after) and read/watch them, if you can manage. If it turns out you did not enjoy the ones you picked: That'd be an opinion you came to on your own. Need to engage with and practice with things if you want to form your own opinions.

Might also be good to join some club or sport, if you don't already have some regular engagements IRL and there's one you could be interested in reasonably nearby. Just anything that strikes your fancy there. A scheduled Hobby you enjoy going to that includes some social activity can be really helpful for mental health.
 
Had my own crisis a while back and the best thing to do is get off socials. No matter what, you are going to be influenced by someone's opinion, whether you agree or disagree. But the key thing is remember why you like the things you do. Maybe revisit some stuff that fell away, play your favorite game from childhood or read an old book series that you always wanted to read. I hope you can take some time for yourself.
 
Had my own crisis a while back and the best thing to do is get off socials. No matter what, you are going to be influenced by someone's opinion, whether you agree or disagree. But the key thing is remember why you like the things you do. Maybe revisit some stuff that fell away, play your favorite game from childhood or read an old book series that you always wanted to read. I hope you can take some time for yourself.
What about consuming new stuff you that interests you but the critics/haters were so loud that it made you scared to do so because you've observed said so much that it pops up in your head when you trying to enjoy for the sake of enjoying it?
 
While the most important response is of course therapy is best

Personally when I started noticing that I bounced my opinion very quickly depending on who and what I was watching I started to be more analytical about it. Started setting firm rules for myself and solid opinions about topics, regardless of if I was emotionally invested in those opinions, obvious ones like rape is bad and thus even rape jokes are a no, regardless of if it may have gotten a chuckle out of me previously
 
While the most important response is of course therapy is best

Personally when I started noticing that I bounced my opinion very quickly depending on who and what I was watching I started to be more analytical about it. Started setting firm rules for myself and solid opinions about topics, regardless of if I was emotionally invested in those opinions, obvious ones like rape is bad and thus even rape jokes are a no, regardless of if it may have gotten a chuckle out of me previously
Thankfully I started seeing one last month.
 
It's important to remember that everyone everywhere is trying to bullshit you about everything. People are either trying to extract money from you, or convince you to do something dumb so they don't have to compete with you (and therapists are not exempt from this either). I say don't listen to critics until you first have a sense of who the critic is and what their agenda is. Or you can just consume the thing you're interested in, and check what critics say later to see if you agree or disagree with them, if they are pointing out something you didn't notice before, or if they are just full of shit and projecting their own peculiarities.

Ignore critics that sound like they're full of shit, and spend more time listening to ones who sound well-informed and impartial. There have been plenty of people I used to listen to years ago that I stopped listening to at some point because they just started sounding dishonest or uninformed, or unduly influenced by some third party. Others, I still listen to because they never gave me that impression.
 
I honestly blame growing up watching the Nostalgia Critic and the like and taking whatever they said as gospel.
 
What about consuming new stuff you that interests you but the critics/haters were so loud that it made you scared to do so because you've observed said so much that it pops up in your head when you trying to enjoy for the sake of enjoying it?

It's hard nowadays to form your own feelings on something, especially when you do value other's opinions, but you gotta remember that some stuff should just be for you. When those thoughts pop up, you got to remember, you are watching for YOU. Enjoying media for yourself isn't inherently bad, even with how it was made, and your enjoyment doesn't make you suddenly a slave to it or it's ideal. Just because you like or love something doesn't mean that it inherently is good or bad, and it's always a matter of perspective.

Half this site is taboo shit not allowed or acceptable on other websites (for good reasons), but it is here for the people who do want it. It's good that you are aware, but don't be afraid to recognize that you are formed from year upon years of experience. I used to think I loved completing video games 100%, but that was just a hold over from watching The Completionist as a teen. After the scandal, I really had to think about who and what I follow, but realized there was no way for me to see it coming, even with the Greg drama. Now I only complete games I love, not because it's what a gamer does, but because I really like it.

It's hard, but don't be afraid to enjoy the things you want to. Life is all about the little things, and it's too short as it is.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top