I Don't Want To Be A Criminal! [Sekirei]

[Biigoh]

[X] Intermission?
- - [X] Birds are praying~ and a bird whose wings stained with blood til black flies... (Karasuba )

 

[Pipeman]

Intermission means another POV?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Intermission means another POV?

Click to shrink...

Intermission is Drabble/Omake I wrote for the fic. Doesn't really serve too much perpose other than world building and entertainment.

[X] Recollections (part 1)
[X] Alternates

 

[Biigoh]

Intermission means another POV?

Click to shrink...

Who can say, it could be a time skip... myself, I'm going with a write-in to see what happens.

 

[Pipeman]

[X] Recollections (part 1)

Time for some world building!

 

[Biigoh]

[X] Alternates

 

[Jiven]

[X] Recollections (part 1)

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

As your mind wanders your perceptions distorts. The boundary of fantasy and reality begins to blur as both become equal.

You enter the realm of dreams...

[X] Intermission
[X] Recollections (Part 1)


"Ahh! Why won't you crazy bitches stop chasing me!? Fuko daaaaaa!"

You are garnering a lot of attention you noticed. Under normal circumstances a high school age looking girl running down the street would not really garner much more attention than a the appreciative glace from the local boys. Neither would the ones giving chase, a pair of twin sisters wearing matching fetishistic outfits shouting things that could very easily be misinterpreted gain you much more than some odd looks and mumbles about keeping it in the bedroom. No what was gain so much attention was that your flight was constantly interrupted by the need to dodge mother fucking lighting!

You are a most unlucky sekirei. Most unlucky indeed.

"We'll stop when you just stand still and take it!" Shouts one, punctuating it with the sound of a sparky ball of death being summoned.

"Come on! I said I was sorry! Please I don't swing that way!" You don't look back nor show any sign of stopping your tremendous flight, dodging left to avoid being zapped, turning a corner, and ducking into nearby alley. Without the slightest bit of hesitation you jump into the nearest open garbage bin. Only the do you spare the chance to catch your breath and think about what's happening. You hear the sound of two people touching down gracefully from a rather high fall.

"Dammit where is that bitch! When I get my hands on her I'll teach her body why not to mouth off to her betters! Her ass is mine!"

"Hikari calm down, you're doing it again."

Shit. There was still two of them. Those two crazy bitches had been chasing you all over the city for the last 6 hours. Not continuously mind you, you'd been able to give them the slip a couple times for an hour or so total, it was just they just didn't quit! You have no idea how you could have possibly pissed of two Sekirei so much as to give up their entire day to hunting you down. Of course this was not something you could get yourself out of so easily as simply hiding in a dumpster for the rest of the day, these girls seemed determined to take your head. Or give you head, as you doubt anyone could make so many innuendo laced comments without realizing it. Honestly you aren't sure which you found worse.

Still the fact remained that you were being pursued by two rather strong Sekirei with questionable motives. Even 1 on 1 would be beyond your league in a fight between Sekirei as far as you were concerned. Two on one was firmly in the realm of crazy pipe dream. You hear them run off to continue searching for you, you still don't take the chance to leave your dumpster's safety. Early bird gets the worm; Second mouse gets the cheese.

You open the bag you'd been carrying and pull out an apple and take a bit. You were hungry.

The fault for all this lay in your stomach. It had been over a week since you'd last had a decent meal. You'd occasionally scrapped up enough money to by a burger or two but sekirei can't live of cheap fast food alone. Today had been the finals straw and you'd gotten desperate enough to do something drastic and disgusting you'd never considered before to keep yourself alive. And that was why you could be found that morning digging though the local dumpsters for food.

"Sweet!" You dumped the contents of a trashed fruit basket into pilfered backpack, you'd been finding more good things than you had thought. You were actually beginning to wonder why you had been so reluctant in the first place. After filling up your bag as several others you'd decided you'd done enough. For once it seemed luck was on your side after all! With such a happy thought in mind you decide to indulge yourself and grab the biggest reddest apple you can find out of the bag.

"Bon apatite~"

Jiiiiii~

You freeze, apple skin not even broken. Hesitantly you turn your eyes to the left fearing the worst. A girl, not much older than you, dressed in a rather... abridged shrine maiden outfit and what looked like knuckle protectors giving you a hungry stare. Sekirei, were her odd fashion not much of a tip off than her rather large... y'know what screw it, Boobs. She had giant tits, you aren't going to beat around the boat on that, girl had a pair or sweater puppies that were bigger than her head. LITERALLY! If anime and your own knowledge of Sekirei were anything to go by comically gigantic breasts almost guarantees Main Character status. That and lolis, it was an odd bell curve where the size of a girls breasts determined if one was strong, either sex bomb or prepubescent there was no in-between. And you were currently under the glaze of this girl who had a body that would make porn stars shed bitter tears, as if you were a delicious... Wait.

You move your hand to the left, her eyes follow. Right, she follows, left again. She follows still. You fight the urge to palm your face. Of course the food. Not even a single bite in and you were gonna get mugged (again!) and released from your hard earned prize. So you just wait for the inevitable attack....

Any second now....

"Um hello?" Why are you still conscious? By all rights a fist should have met your face a long time ago. She doesn't seem to realize you spoke, so intent upon the apple. "Hello, ya there?" You wave a hand in front of her face, which manages to get her attention.

"Oh! Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She bowed rapidly and froze when her own stomach let out a loud growl. Rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment, "I guess I was just a little hungry."

You blink. That was not what you expected at all. You looked at her continuing to give your held fruit a longing gaze as if it were an old lover and can't help but feel and can't help but feel pity for the poor girl despite your own situation.

"Seems more than a little," You hadn't meant to say it but it just came out. She just laughs and scratches her head again. You crack a smile at that, you don't know why but something about the girl just makes it hard to not like her. Besides you can sympathize with her a bit, hunger and all. It was nice to know you weren't alone in your misfortune. You toss the girl your apple.

"Awa, I can have it?" Something about her smiling just seemed deeply satisfying to you. Like looking a pictures of kittens, an almost addictive warm fuzzy feeling just fills you. It's what you blame for your next course of action.

"Yeah, matter of fact," You hold out most of the rest of your bags, "Feel free to help yourself! Just don't ask where I got that apple."

You figured it would be nice to have some friendly company while you ate. Besides it was 5 bags of fruit, you doubted she could eat it all...

~~~​

She ate it all. You looked down at the five empty bags on the floor, to the smiling girl who had wolfed it all down, to your own meager 1 child sized back pack still mostly filled with fruit. In the time it'd taken you to eat 2 bananas and an orange the girl had consumed her own weight in fruits, nuts, breads, cheeses, and several other miscellaneous food stuffs. By god she was like a machine! A Foodinator!

The two of you were sitting in the local park, next to the cardboard box that was your current place of residence.

"Thank you so much!" She smiles at you brightly, "I was so hungry, I haven't eat all day! How can I ever repay you?"

"'s not a problem," You could just go and refill those bags later anyway. "Just happy to help."

"Ah!" You jump a bit at her sudden exclamation, "I just realized you helped me so much and we haven't introduce ourselves! I'm Musubi nice to meet you!"

You hmm a bit, "...They call me Yowane Haku." Not like it'd hurt to be polite.

"Thank you for the meal Haku-san," She got up and stretched, "I hope my Ashikabi will be as nice as you."

"Er, hehe, yeah," You answer awkwardly. It might have been a complement but even the idea was ridiculous. A sekirei as an Ashikabi, absurd. You got up too and stretched, something about the action seemed infectious, like yawning.

"Well, I'm glad I got to meet you Haku-san! I gotta get back to finding my Ashikabi."

You opened your mouth to say something back. Perhaps your own good byes, perhaps an invitation to stay you aren't really sure which. It would have been nice to have another Sekirei around, even if not for the company than the protection. And the girl had to be strong, big appetites in MCs tended to indicate equally large power. But what ever you had to say was interrupted by a cold shiver going down your spine telling you to get the hell outa dodge! Before you even realized what was happening you jumped forward and tackled the ditzy girl out of the way. You latch onto her cloths and use your momentum to roll further from the site.

"Guwah!" An ominous crack was heard behind you along with a flash of light that thankfully you were facing away from. The weird burning smell didn't do much to encourage you what ever it would have been a good thing.

"Well well, so this is where you've been hiding number 88"


[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)
[X] Wake up.

 

[Darik29]

[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)

Backstory is Best Story! Also, I wanna keep remembering stuff until we can figure out wether our Ashikabi is the boy or the girl. Very important, is that question.

 

[Biigoh]

[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)

 

[Aranfan]

[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)

 

[Jiven]

[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)

 

[Himura]

[X] Continue Intermission? (Part 2)

Backstory is Best Story! Also, I wanna keep remembering stuff until we can figure out wether our Ashikabi is the boy or the girl. Very important, is that question.

Click to shrink...

Who knows, it might be both...

 

[Redon]

Who knows, it might be both...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, kinda impossible with the literal meaning of it being your destined life partner and all... (note life partner, singular.)

 

[Himura]

Yeah, kinda impossible with the literal meaning of it being your destined life partner and all... (note life partner, singular.)

Click to shrink...

Yeah, squirrelly isn't exactly the most informed about the series. Nor this one either in fact. From what this one read on the wiki it's not exactly the most well thoughtout manga, Squirrelly has been ranting about the illogic of it for the last couple days.

Still, Squirrelly likes to troll. So this one doubt the answer will be simple. For sll this one knows it. Could be someone else entirely or selfwinging.

 

[Himura]

This One just recognized something. according to the OP we are under the care of doctor Nagisa. And this one can only think of one character that goes by that name. This one is surprised it didn't realize that sooner.

 

[Larekko12]

{x}Continue Intermission.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Your body begins to stir. The phantasm wavers around you as reality starts to solidify. You begin to awaken... Only to relax once more. The discomfort passes and the illusion of your mind solidifies back around you.

The dream continues...


[X] Intermission
[X] Recollections (Part 2)


"Well well, so this is where you've been hiding, #88."

"Too bad for you running and hiding won't do you any good."

The woman stands high above the both of you, looking down on you physically and likely figuratively as well. Beside her is her twin, the only difference being a calmer look, and more obviously the rather significant difference in bust size. Not that you care about that sort of thing! No, you weren't that kind of girl! It's just that the both of them were clad in matching outfits of a rather scandalous cut in Purple and pink respectively. It was simply that said indecent outfits emphasized the breasts, navel, and hips, so it totally wasn't your fault! The two just stand there looking down on you dramatically, showing no sign of stopping the two of you from picking yourselves up. Needless to say though, though you will anyway, they're Sekirei.

You waited for them to do something, attack, make a speech, backflip in, invite you to tea, really the list only grew with each second awkwardly passing. After about 30 you were getting hopelessly confused and desperate. Even Musubi seemed lost despite them calling her out. Gods the silences was horrible, you don't know how to deal with such awkwardness! You began to fidget and the Busty one seemed to grow annoyed, well more annoyed seeing as she'd been scowling since after the 15 second mark.

"Oi, dumbass!" You blinked. You looked at the glaring one not really understanding, then pointed yourself just to confirm what you just realized, "Yeah you, the useless looking bum. Get out of the way, we have some unfinished business with #88 there."

"Yes, this is between us Sekirei, nothing to do with you."

They think I'm a human? Well that was okay by you, you didn't think you could deal with a Sekirei battle. Still you tensed and edged back further from them. Better safe than sorry... "Musubi?"

"Yeah?" Musubi tilts her head to the side and looks entirely too relaxed for being called out by two Sekirei.

"Who are these two?"

Her eyes open then narrow as she scrutinizes the two above her. You can practically see not only the gears turning in her head, visualizing them as a little mouse running on a wheel, but also when the proverbial light bulb seems to go off even without the accompanying gesture of fist landing in palm (pomf~). She gave you a big smile and chirped her answer, "No idea!"

Face Faults aren't real. That was just something that happened in lame old anime, a worn old cliche like sweat drops and nose bleeds, something that could and should never happen. So when the twins fell out of their tree it was only because of a broken branch despite them standing near the trunk, and they landed quite gracefully and most definitely on their faces! And the wetness on the back of your head was simply accumulated moisture, like dew on grass...

"Did your adjuster drop you on your head!?" The BustyBossy one picked off some grass that mysterious appeared on her face, "We were chasing you all day yesterday before that masked asshole got in the way!"

"Hmm... Nope! Doesn't ring a bell, so who are you guys? Oh, did Takami-san send you to drop off my MBI card?"

"No, damn it! We've been attacking you nonstop since since yesterday!" The angry twin had made her way towards you two and byt the end of that sentence less then 3 meters away. Not good...

"Awa! That's not very nice, what if I got hurt?" Another meter, very not good!

"That's the point dumbass!" She'd invaded your personal area. Awah! You aren't good with these sort of things! "And you! move out of the way this is none of your business, it's between us and the girl behind you. If you try to be a hero..." Sparks began dance across her skin, erasing any doubts you may have had concerning her species, "just give me a reason."

"Hikari, you should calm down," The flat one replies... flatly. Her face speaks of exasperation over her companions antics. She locked eyes with you and her expression seemed to show a bit of sympathy, "We aren't supposed to hurt humans."

"We're also supposed to announce ourselves and only fight Sekirei who've been winged," The sarcasm in her voice was almost tangible, "But whatd'ya know, here we are hunting down Tweedle Dipshit over there behind Poorfag here," She laid a hand on your shoulder and roughly shoved you out of the way. "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I've been humiliated by that masked tranny again, and I haven't had a bath in two days," she stalked up toward Musubi, "This mission has just been absolute shit. I swear to God the next time something fucks with me someone, I don't care who, is getting an electrically charged fist shoved in an orifice. I'm not particularly picky which one. So Shrine girl, are you going to go down quietly or am I going to have to introduce you to The Shocker?"

"But I haven't met my Ashikabi yet! That's against the rules!"

"Screw the rules, I have had it with this bullshit!"

What happened was too fast and chaotic for you to track. What you could though was mostly in disconnected 'flashes'. The first was of Hikari rearing back and Musubi tensing. The next was simply an explosion that blinded you with dust. Finally was simply a bunch of attacks from Hikari and Hibiki who had joined in with Musubi barely dodging. Eventually though the poor girl screwed up and tripped on an empty bag and cornered by the two. It was unfortunate for her, but as callus as it may have seemed it was perfect for you, you'd be able to escape while they were distracted and probably be down one future opponent when you found your Ashikabi. It was horrible and unforgivable, but you didn't know any other way to handle that kind of situations. You tense yourself, 3, 2, 1...

"Musubi!" Huh? Who said that? And why were they looking at you? "D-don't worry Musubi!" Wait that sounded like your voice! But that couldn't be your voice! Why were you still there? You were supposed to run! "I-I'll protect you!" You aren't supposed to be a hero, you didn't know how to deal with that!

"Oh yeah, and who're you? Don't look like much to me."

"I'm Number 81 Kurimi Mami, 'Idol Sekirei'," There would be no turning back, you'd announced not only your species and number, but your real name. Twin sets of eyes widened and two faces lost a bit of color. They leapt to attack, charging up sparks and making to run toward you. You held no illusion that you could overpower them in any situation, nor out run them. Individually they probably outclass you by margin so large it wasn't even funny and right then the both were fully committed to taking you out. In a fair fight, you would go down. Hard.

"Now listen to my song!" You had no intention of fighting fair. The two hesitated for the briefest moment, torn between their committed attack and a reflex to dodge an incoming attack. It wouldn't matter either way, just that moment's opening was enough. And as much as you loathed to do it you opened you mouth and began to sing.

~~~​

You are a "Voice" Type, a Sekirei who uses songs to fight, though fighting isn't really their strong suit. In gaming terms, they were the supporting class to the Wizards and Warriors, buffing or debuffing was pretty much the extent of a "Voice" type's ability. They would sing songs to various effects, their voices calming, soothing, alluring in it's otherworldly beauty, like ambrosia for the ears they sang like angels the most most soul warming songs.

What exited your mouth for the next 97.6 seconds was quite possible the most disgusting, loathsome, profane sound to ever be heard by human or Sekirei ears. There was no real comparison to describe what it sounded like, it wasn't deep, nor light, nor sharp, nor flat all that could be understood was that it was simply pure undistilled horrible. The moment the first syllable left your lips was the same moment all fighting ceased. Birds dropped out of the sky midflight, glass in nearby buildings shattered, Milk curdled, food spoiled, local flora and fauna died, people in the park fell to their knees clutching their heads, bleeding from the eyes and ears, screaming in madness. Every word, every letter 10 times worse than the last, by the end of your ballad you could see what almost appeared to be a crack in the sky.

At Ground Zero the twins simply collapsed onto the ground rears held high overhead faces literally buried in the dirt, both having been desperate enough to through away dignity make like ostriches. Even Musubi, in a show of intelligence you are ashamed to admit you didn't expect out of her, who had shoved her fingers deep in her ears and tried to run the moment you opened your mouth was in a similar position, having flinched, tripped, and so ran face first into a tree at full sprint and lay as a twitching pile at the base. You had, in a single attack, felled 3 Sekirei, and in all truth you'd dialed it back alot from the last time you'd used it. That only filled you with nothing but a deep profound sense of shame and despair.

"Why does that always happen?"

You had first discovered that "trick" completely on accident. Your adjuster, who'd taken you in like her own daughter, had bought a karaoke machine for the two of you to sing too. When she got annoyed at how you could perfectly mimic every song you'd heard before she had then decided to play a prank on you. She had, while you went to get snacks, switched out the CD with one you hadn't listened to, one featuring scat and bebop and in the confusion you had slipped up, you had for just a moment not only used your natural voice but sang with it. You learned to simply use your ability to just copypasta the words of others rather than use your own voice as it seemed to give those who heard it migraines and nightmares. It was why you sounded like if your mother swallowed a tiny computer.

The result had been similar to what happened here, only worse. You sang the entire 3 minute song. Every Sekirei on the island had been rendered deaf for two days, some even being sent to the infirmary from self inflicted injuries, and for a week afterwards everyone's linguistic ability was reduced to zeros. You would have been skeptical of the rumors that followed about the Disciplinary squad having to fight of giant tentacled horrors from the deep were it not for the suspicious amount of squid that found it's way into all the meals afterwards.

Within a week Kurimi Mami had gone from "Least known" to "Most hated" Sekirei on Kamikura island, it was one of the reasons you went by Haku now, just to avoid anyone looking to get vengeance for that. Karaoka, and singing in general, became taboo for the next few years. You didn't even understand why everyone seemed to react badly to it, it wasn't that bad in you opinion! You really wanted to cry, singing had been one of your favorite activities before that fiasco.

With a sigh you walked over to your tent. You didn't bother hurrying, they would all be out for at least a few hours, you wanted to use that time to pack up your rather meager possession, drag Musubi off to somewhere safe, and then get the hell out of dodge. As you passed the purple wearing twin though you paused.

So things had sorta gone... not as planned.

As anybody had planned really. You didn't flee, the Twins didn't take out Musubi, Musubi had been unable to keep down her lunch.

All in all though, your screw up had ended up working out the best. Far better in fact than had it actually worked. You were still conscious, your friend was still in the game, and right then you had two enemy Sekirei completely at your mercy. Yet you still feel positively negative about it, having been forced to validate your supernatural ability fail so completely as a Sekirei. Perhaps it was your mother's influence but you couldn't help but feel some restitution was in order. You looked down at the twin before you, yes some payback would really help.

You looked to your "house" and ran through the checklist of items. Everything you'd need for your... idea was inside or in the clearing.

Ever so slowly you began to smile.

~~~​

You looked up from celebratory root-beer you were drinking on pilfered dime at the sound of a very justifiable scream of pure rage. You weren't worried though, not only were you on the other side of the city but they'd no doubt be heading home first before going after you, no mater how angered. Likely sticking to the shadows so not to be seen in such an embarrassing state.

Mother would be proud. Oh you were sure you'd come to regret that when it no doubt came back to haunt you. But frankly, at the moment you couldn't give a damn.




[X] Continue Intermission (Part 3)
[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Sorry about the delay, was putting the finishing touches on it a few days ago but didn't have the chance to post it until today.

Also spent time watching the first 35 episodes of Soul Eater on Netflix with Himura's phone, and since I didn't really had much better to do I actually ended up watching the first 2 episodes of Sekirei. And wow, am I disappointed. I want those 45 minutes of my life back.

 

[useless101]

[X] Continue Intermission (Part 3)

So not only is Haku able to drop multiple Sekirei at once, she can also summon Cthulhu.

Why is she considered weak again?

 

[Biigoh]

[X] Continue Intermission (Part 3)

 

[Emral282]

[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

When the GM offers such a blatant hint, probably best to listen.

 

[Balatro Philologus]

[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

I agree

 

[Redon]

[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

 

[Himura]

[X] Continue Intermission (Part 3)

So not only is Haku able to drop multiple Sekirei at once, she can also summon Cthulhu.

Why is she considered weak again?

Click to shrink...

In the same way Nymph is this one guesses. Her attacks are easily counter and is considered the weakest angeloid yet her natural singinging voice destroyed two planets and dented the frikken sun and obliterated all language on earth due to sheer awefullness.

This seems more like a comic releif super power though, so this one thinks its best not to use it unless it's gonna result in humor. Also it seems to offer penelties to moral and morality.

[X] wake up.

 

[Darik29]

[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

Guys, I just had something of an epiphany. Or its total garbage, but either way, I had an idea.

We have perfect Voice Comtrol, right? And when we sang without copying voice and words, it came out Terribly, and damaged reality.

I had a thought. What if the reason our Voice caused such a thing, is because it was so Raw, unmodified by our will?

What if we Layer our voice, such that, though by itself it is terrible, mixing the Layers together creates Perfection?

By Layer, I mean Legion Voice. If our normal voice is enough to damage reality, then instead of making thinfpgs worse, Legion Voice will Invert our Song and release Perfection.

Oh, and we could snag Legion Voice as a skill. Simply because of how Awesome and Creepy a properly utilized Legion Voice can be.

Des this sound like something good, or bad?

 

[Marked_One]

[X] Something tells you you should probably wake up now...

 

[Aranfan]

[x] Time for to wake up from your asleep.

 

[Larekko12]

Wait we can do that?

Why couldn't we sing lalalalalallallalalal in natural voice.


[x]WAKE UP.

 

[Himura]

Wait we can do that?

Why couldn't we sing lalalalalallallalalal in natural voice.


[x]WAKE UP.

Click to shrink...

Likely for the same reason Tomoki can't just use his penis cannon to shoot down Synapses nor Nymph sing rather normal voice attack.