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IRC shenanigans

Discussion in 'General' started by Biigoh, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. MizMahem

    MizMahem That guy who likes to write Omakes

    Jul 20, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Maybe (probably?) I was being an ass, but this tickled my funny bone:

    A very serious discussion about cats vs commoners vs dire geese.

    sleepyblooshy: Iirc a cat can kill a peasant in dnd
    sleepyblooshy: Well they can do that in real life
    sleepyblooshy: But in dnd it’s much more easy
    TotalAbsolutism: I mean, that depends.
    TotalAbsolutism: A housecat has 2 HP, does 1 damage in melee, and an AC of 14.
    TotalAbsolutism: And adult human will have anywhere from 3 to 15 HP depending on Con mod and how well they roll.
    TotalAbsolutism: Probably an AC of 10.
    DNSFW: A cat can kill the party wizard
    DNSFW: unless the party wizard has magic missile
    DNSFW: which even if they do, the cat might STILL kill them
    TotalAbsolutism: Again, only really true at level one and even then not really.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming they have a quarterstaff.
    TotalAbsolutism: Or any melee weapon.
    DNSFW: yeah
    TotalAbsolutism: So the Cat hits the commoner on a 6+ for 1 damage twice, then on an 11+ for 1 damage once.
    DNSFW: I'm just noting
    TotalAbsolutism: But it has to enter your square to do so; if you're armed you get an AoO and can slap at it once.
    TotalAbsolutism: Even a L1 wizard with eight strength has 30% chance to hit it then.
    TotalAbsolutism: And about a 50% chance of instantly taking it out.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L3 commoner, so average adult, will be able to kick the cat on a 13+, and does 1d3 damage unarmed.
    TotalAbsolutism: Arguably more if wearing a good boot, but we'll put that aside.
    DNSFW: of course, all this abstraction is just poking fun at the wizard
    TotalAbsolutism: Possibly 1d3+1 with an okay strength.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming average HP, the cat needs to enter their three times square and attack them and hit with all three attacks for at least three rounds straight without missing.
    TotalAbsolutism: their square three times
    TotalAbsolutism: And if the commoner has a weapon, the cat almost certainly loses.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L1 commoner should more accurately as a literal child.
    TotalAbsolutism: *known as
    TotalAbsolutism: So yeah. The Cat vs Commoner thing is still flawed, but not as bad as it initially seems.
    MizMahem: what about a geese though: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8G8GbLwU9eKazRfVF9SOGJpa0E
    TotalAbsolutism: That's a dire goose.
    TotalAbsolutism: Oh, and standard.
    MizMahem: There is also stats for a regular goose :p
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, it already has too much HP.
    MizMahem: It went to the gym.
    TotalAbsolutism: Also, toughness as a bonus feat?
    TotalAbsolutism: That's... really not borne out by reality.
    MizMahem: it's a tough goose
    TotalAbsolutism: It's meant to be CR 1/2
    MizMahem: that's what the sheet says
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, I am expressing doubt.
    MizMahem: Dire Goose will straight up murder a whole town full of commoners.
    MizMahem: they stand no chance
    TotalAbsolutism: Hmm... depends how big the town is.
    TotalAbsolutism: Looking at it...
    TotalAbsolutism: 48 HP is within the realm of possibility for maybe twenty farmers with basic weapons.
    TotalAbsolutism: Maybe ten, even.
    TotalAbsolutism: The first 'normal' goose has more HP than a wolf, though.
    TotalAbsolutism: It's nearly as tough as your average horse, even.
    MizMahem: you ever see a goose fight a wolf? No. The wolves know better.
    TotalAbsolutism: Wolves do eat geese.
    MizMahem: unpossible. They are protected by the migratory bird act of 1918.
    TotalAbsolutism: ...
    TotalAbsolutism: I'm clearly wasting my time engaging with this on a genuine level, so I will stop now.
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
    wasprider, Winged One and LordVile like this.
  2. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

    Nov 12, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Megaolix now the talk is officially over because all the attention is on us.
    Anon-sleepy roll 1d20 for stealth
    qqbot Anon-sleepy rolled 1d20: 3 = [3]
    Anon-sleepy :I

    Continuation of Anon's war against qqbot
  3. Redon

    Redon the baka nerbie

    Feb 19, 2013
    Likes Received:
    I do believe the bot is winning.
  4. 1986ctcel

    1986ctcel Connoisseur.

    Mar 5, 2014
    Likes Received:
    Looks like Anon̦̦ is a confirmed purveyor of filth :p

  5. CorruptKing

    CorruptKing Back to best Ass of Sin :)

    Jan 2, 2018
    Likes Received:
    Anon̦̦ I hope you compensate them properly. :p And I don't mean headpat currency.
    1986ctcel likes this.
  6. Biigoh

    Biigoh Nothing but Innocent Fluff Moderator

    Feb 19, 2013
    Likes Received:

    This is Anon̦̦.


    Jul 29 15:36:02 <BaileyMatutine> Anon-chan: the loli WANTED to be molested.
    Jul 29 15:36:42 * Anon-chan pats pats the Loli, before molesting her a little.
    Jul 29 15:39:07 * Anon-chan molests the loli harder.
    Jul 29 15:39:30 * Loli_asdx11 Cuddles Anon-chan and lewdly rubs against her as she is molested
    Nov 03 11:04:50 * Anon-at-Class also molests the asdx11 loli
    Mar 21 12:56:25 * Anon-at-Class molests the blind loli!
    Apr 04 18:58:03 * Anon-at-School molests the loli!
    Apr 18 13:44:09 * Anon-sleepy cuddles the Cute_Loli and molests them back
    2017 Jun 07 22:42:08 * Anon-sleepy molests the Loli_Saber
    2017 Jul 24 14:05:06 * Anon-at-School molests and teases Loli medusa
    2017 Dec 11 16:25:03 * Anon-chan molests Loli_asdx11 throughly
    2018 Feb 18 13:32:51 * Anon-sleepy counter-molests the loli
    2018 Mar 23 12:27:58 <Sophos> Anon just wants to abuse/molest the loli he saves
    2018 Mar 23 13:06:47 * Anon-sleepy wonders about the loli-molesting possibilities of super-heroing
    2018 Mar 26 16:13:27 * Anon-sleepy wonders if they would molest a naked demon loli
    2018 Apr 22 18:39:20 * Anon-chan claims her dominance over the loli officers by molesting them
    2018 Apr 24 20:54:29 <MizMahem> Anon-sleepy: I'm sure you will have already written some loopwhole around your loli molestation.
    2018 Apr 24 20:54:49 <Anon-sleepy> MizMahem! Do you truly believe I would molest an unwilling loli!
    2018 Apr 28 00:33:53 * Anon-sleepy molests all the loli FBI
    2018 May 06 20:53:17 * Anon-sleepy molests the loli
    2018 May 07 18:22:32 * Anon-phone molests loli MizMahem
    2018 May 14 18:38:25 <Anon-at-School> Ravioly Ravioli, I want to molest the alcholic loli.
    2018 May 16 12:00:03 * Anon-sleepy molests the Oni Loli!
    2018 May 24 16:50:20 * Thanon molests DeathLoli a little
    2018 Jun 01 18:28:48 * Anon-sleepy shall molest all the lolis and claim their dominance!
    2018 Jun 02 19:14:26 <Latewave> @eightball Is Anon molesting you loli bot?
    2018 Jun 09 15:59:31 <Anon-sleepy> nsfw loli I would also molest: https://usercontent.irccloud-cdn.com/file/IkLqvDNc/image.png
    2018 Jul 21 14:56:07 * Anon-sleepy molests the lewd loli
    2018 Jul 26 09:22:06 <Anon-sleepy> Poor Blackbeard. Unable of molesting the loli. :<
    2018 Jul 30 22:56:36 * Anon-at-School molests loli ultima333 with vengeance
    2018 Aug 04 20:40:40 <UrsaTempest> Ah, Anon-chan wish to seduce cute loli to her house and molest her.
    2018 Aug 12 13:30:57 * Anon-at-errands molests Shuten_Loli
    2018 Aug 12 19:00:14 <Anon-kun> And you want to marry me... even knowing that I will molest all cute lolis in my way?!
    2018 Aug 14 12:28:42 <Anon-chan> MizMahem! But I can't /molest/ lolis in my blood anyway! What is their purpose if I canc only see them trought a microscope!
    2018 Aug 14 14:00:35 <MizMahem> Anon-chan: really... so all the loli's you know and molest are fine and okay with you molesting all the other lolis?
    2018 Aug 23 02:11:32 <Anon-sleepy> molest the loli with love
    2018 Aug 26 02:27:08 <Anon-sleepy> HEy! I would not only molest lolis!
    2018 Aug 26 15:49:07 <Anon-sleepy> if you become a loli its not illegal to molest other lolis
    2018 Aug 27 16:11:21 <Anon-sleepy> I will fucking get my choco-loli to molest my Illya with
    2018 Aug 30 21:47:04 * Anon-sleepy molests the lolis
    2018 Aug 31 00:34:45 * Anon-sleepy molests loli Yuuka
    2018 Sep 01 02:46:12 <Anon-sleepy> for molesting lolis
    2018 Sep 03 17:02:48 * Anon-at-School molests ultima-phone lolis
    2018 Sep 04 00:58:51 * Anon-at-School molests her bond 5 chocololi
    2018 Sep 15 15:50:14 * Anon-chan molests the cute loli slaves just a little
    2018 Sep 19 06:09:53 * Anon-chan molests the loli WritingBaka
    2018 Oct 02 17:45:03 * Anon-chan molests Yuuka loli!
    2018 Oct 13 01:12:18 * Anon-sleepy molests Bii-Loli mercileslly!
    2018 Oct 23 19:25:39 * Anon-at-Exams molests the free loli a little!
    2018 Oct 30 21:28:22 * Anon-sleepy gonna molest the loli :>
    2018 Oct 31 00:53:46 * Anon-sleepy molests Loli_Usagi
    2018 Nov 01 00:50:58 * Anon-sleepy molests Loli_Jupiter
    2018 Nov 05 15:06:19 * Anon-at-School molests the lolis very priest!
    2018 Nov 20 11:43:38 * Anon-sleepy molests Loli_Aurora a little
    2018 Nov 21 00:49:10 * Anon-at-school molests Loli_Sabrina
    2018 Nov 25 20:16:39 * Anon-sleepy molests Loli11
    2018 Nov 25 23:06:19 * Anon-sleepy molests Loli_Aurora very DIO
    2018 Dec 03 18:29:16 * Thanon manhandles he Loli_Aurora into being their molestanble cuddly pillow
    2018 Dec 03 18:35:02 * Thanon molests Loli_Aurora !
    2018 Dec 06 10:54:14 * Anon-sleepy hugs and molests lolidusa
    2018 Dec 10 04:20:23 <UrsaTempest> Anon-sleepy just want cute lolis to molest. Or maybe be molested as cute loli by other loli. I don't know.
    2018 Dec 11 21:32:52 * Anon-sleepy molests other lolis legally!
    2018 Dec 13 17:03:10 <Anon-sleepy> Loli_Aurora: at most I would molest u a little!
    2018 Dec 14 21:42:01 * Anon-sleepy molests lolidusa in vengance!
    2018 Dec 17 13:46:20 * ctcel1986 gives Anon-sleepy a cute loli version of herself to molest
    2018 Dec 22 10:41:14 <Anon-sleepy> Waking up to a loli molesting me? That is the dream.
    2018 Dec 22 10:41:59 <Loli_Aurora> Waking up as a loli molesting Anon-sleepy? That's a dream
    2018 Dec 22 11:39:36 <Anon-sleepy> And... If I am a loli I can molest lolis a lot easier xant I ?!
    2018 Dec 28 11:52:24 <schpariel> In soviet russia, loli molest Anon!
    2018 Dec 30 00:47:39 <Anon-sleepy> The loli wants me to molest her...
    2018 Dec 30 17:10:34 * Anon-sleepy molests the space loli
    2019 Jan 28 08:34:46 <Anon-sleepy> I want a loli to tell me that she wants to be molesteeeddd
    2019 Feb 09 14:03:05 <Anon-sleepy> What am I supposed to do when a loli asks me to molest them!?
    2019 Feb 13 13:57:43 <MizMahem> anon-molests.loli?
    2019 Feb 13 14:03:32 <MizMahem> anon.molests.lolis.live?
    2019 Feb 13 22:17:56 * tablet-ctcel reverses time AGAIN and gives the loli Raifu to Anon-at-work for safe keeping (and safe molesting)
    2019 Feb 14 15:30:42 <Anon-at-work> Dont remember TA. But 10/10 would molest lolis that want to be molested.
    2019 Feb 18 16:09:02 <Anon-at-Class> Redon: w-what should I do if a loli asks me to molest her!?
    2019 Mar 07 18:29:29 <schpariel> A moment of silence for Anon. They died as they lived, molesting lolis.
    2019 Mar 07 18:29:56 <anon-ded> I do not molest lolis!
    2019 Mar 07 18:32:25 <anon-ded> laptop-bubble: i don't molest lolis non consensually!
    2019 Mar 09 23:56:46 <ReinZero> Anon is our resident serial molest (of lolis)
    2019 Mar 12 14:40:10 * DMC_Orion reminds the Wee Woos of Anon's history of loli molestation
    2019 Mar 13 21:30:59 <Anon-at-work> I DID NOT ADMIT ANYTHING! MUCH LESS LOLI MOLESTATION!
    2019 Mar 13 21:33:25 <ReinZero> Anon just admitted to loli molestation lol
    2019 Mar 13 23:54:58 <magic9mushroom> <+Anon-at-work> I DID NOT ADMIT ANYTHING! MUCH LESS LOLI MOLESTATION!
    2019 Mar 20 17:50:48 <ultima333> 2019 Mar 09 23:56:46 <ReinZero> Anon is our resident serial molest (of lolis)
    2019 Mar 20 18:20:33 <ultima333> Anon-chan, don't forget all the times you say you don't molest lolis
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:01 <ultima333> 2018 Dec 30 17:10:34 * Anon-sleepy molests the space loli
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:19 <ultima333> 2018 Aug 30 21:47:04 * Anon-sleepy molests the lolis
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:28 <ultima333> 2018 May 16 12:00:03 * Anon-sleepy molests the Oni Loli!
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:28 <ultima333> 2018 May 24 16:50:20 * Thanon molests DeathLoli a little
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:46 <ultima333> Mar 21 12:56:25 * Anon-at-Class molests the blind loli!
    2019 Mar 20 18:21:46 <ultima333> Apr 04 18:58:03 * Anon-at-School molests the loli!
    2019 Apr 19 16:47:53 <Biigoh> Anon ish bad cattos that molest lolis
    2019 Apr 19 16:49:10 <Anon-tired> I only molest lolis that want it!
    2019 Apr 25 12:44:04 <schpariel> No, Anon Customer! That is spring of drown loli! Must now molest self!
    2019 May 02 01:37:34 <Anon-sleepy> And whay have I ever done to a loli to deserve tanuki molestation!
    2019 May 03 11:30:41 <Anon-sleepy> ultima-phone: I dont molest lolis!
    2019 May 07 10:18:49 <Anon-sleepy> I love and cherish the loli! And huggle! But not molest!
    2019 May 17 19:00:56 <Biigoh> Anon-Ded! Molesting loli goddess ish a crime!
    2019 May 20 18:14:40 <ultima333> cat $logfile | select-string -pattern "anon" | select-string -pattern "molest" | select-string -pattern "loli"
  7. Anon̦̦

    Anon̦̦ [Verified Cute]

    Jan 15, 2015
    Likes Received:
    MizMahem is an specist!
    CorruptKing, 1986ctcel and MizMahem like this.
  8. Garahs

    Garahs Soil Surveyor

    Feb 19, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Cats are superior anyways. The Egyptians knew the truth.
    CorruptKing likes this.