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IRC shenanigans

Discussion in 'General' started by Biigoh, Mar 26, 2013.

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  1. MizMahem

    MizMahem That guy who likes to write Omakes

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    Maybe (probably?) I was being an ass, but this tickled my funny bone:

    A very serious discussion about cats vs commoners vs dire geese.

    sleepyblooshy: Iirc a cat can kill a peasant in dnd
    sleepyblooshy: Well they can do that in real life
    sleepyblooshy: But in dnd it’s much more easy
    TotalAbsolutism: I mean, that depends.
    TotalAbsolutism: A housecat has 2 HP, does 1 damage in melee, and an AC of 14.
    TotalAbsolutism: And adult human will have anywhere from 3 to 15 HP depending on Con mod and how well they roll.
    TotalAbsolutism: Probably an AC of 10.
    DNSFW: A cat can kill the party wizard
    DNSFW: unless the party wizard has magic missile
    DNSFW: which even if they do, the cat might STILL kill them
    TotalAbsolutism: Again, only really true at level one and even then not really.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming they have a quarterstaff.
    TotalAbsolutism: Or any melee weapon.
    DNSFW: yeah
    TotalAbsolutism: So the Cat hits the commoner on a 6+ for 1 damage twice, then on an 11+ for 1 damage once.
    DNSFW: I'm just noting
    TotalAbsolutism: But it has to enter your square to do so; if you're armed you get an AoO and can slap at it once.
    TotalAbsolutism: Even a L1 wizard with eight strength has 30% chance to hit it then.
    TotalAbsolutism: And about a 50% chance of instantly taking it out.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L3 commoner, so average adult, will be able to kick the cat on a 13+, and does 1d3 damage unarmed.
    TotalAbsolutism: Arguably more if wearing a good boot, but we'll put that aside.
    DNSFW: of course, all this abstraction is just poking fun at the wizard
    TotalAbsolutism: Possibly 1d3+1 with an okay strength.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming average HP, the cat needs to enter their three times square and attack them and hit with all three attacks for at least three rounds straight without missing.
    TotalAbsolutism: their square three times
    TotalAbsolutism: And if the commoner has a weapon, the cat almost certainly loses.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L1 commoner should more accurately as a literal child.
    TotalAbsolutism: *known as
    TotalAbsolutism: So yeah. The Cat vs Commoner thing is still flawed, but not as bad as it initially seems.
    MizMahem: what about a geese though: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8G8GbLwU9eKazRfVF9SOGJpa0E
    TotalAbsolutism: That's a dire goose.
    TotalAbsolutism: Oh, and standard.
    MizMahem: There is also stats for a regular goose :p
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, it already has too much HP.
    MizMahem: It went to the gym.
    TotalAbsolutism: Also, toughness as a bonus feat?
    TotalAbsolutism: That's... really not borne out by reality.
    MizMahem: it's a tough goose
    TotalAbsolutism: It's meant to be CR 1/2
    MizMahem: that's what the sheet says
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, I am expressing doubt.
    MizMahem: Dire Goose will straight up murder a whole town full of commoners.
    MizMahem: they stand no chance
    TotalAbsolutism: Hmm... depends how big the town is.
    TotalAbsolutism: Looking at it...
    TotalAbsolutism: 48 HP is within the realm of possibility for maybe twenty farmers with basic weapons.
    TotalAbsolutism: Maybe ten, even.
    TotalAbsolutism: The first 'normal' goose has more HP than a wolf, though.
    TotalAbsolutism: It's nearly as tough as your average horse, even.
    MizMahem: you ever see a goose fight a wolf? No. The wolves know better.
    TotalAbsolutism: Wolves do eat geese.
    MizMahem: unpossible. They are protected by the migratory bird act of 1918.
    TotalAbsolutism: ...
    TotalAbsolutism: I'm clearly wasting my time engaging with this on a genuine level, so I will stop now.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
    wasprider, Winged One and LordVile like this.
  2. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

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    Megaolix now the talk is officially over because all the attention is on us.
    Anon-sleepy roll 1d20 for stealth
    qqbot Anon-sleepy rolled 1d20: 3 = [3]
    Anon-sleepy :I

    Continuation of Anon's war against qqbot
     
    MizMahem likes this.