1. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. For a trial period of one week, allowed avatar size has been increased to 256kb, up from 51.2kb. During this time, if the forum seems to be loading slow, drop by the topic in the Announcements & Rules sub to let me know.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. QQ will be down for upgrades starting at 2030 EDT. Please be prepared and save any work.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. A small reminder that our moderators can't change usernames. You need to directly contact an admin for that, and tehelgee is the jobless one so bug him about it.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. To the many new members following Mr Zoat to our forum, I would suggest a quick read of our Rules. Don't worry, it's not a long post. Pay special attention to Rule 8. We are deadly serious about it.
    Dismiss Notice
  7. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice

IRC shenanigans

Discussion in 'General' started by Biigoh, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. MizMahem

    MizMahem That guy who likes to write Omakes

    Jul 20, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Maybe (probably?) I was being an ass, but this tickled my funny bone:

    A very serious discussion about cats vs commoners vs dire geese.

    sleepyblooshy: Iirc a cat can kill a peasant in dnd
    sleepyblooshy: Well they can do that in real life
    sleepyblooshy: But in dnd it’s much more easy
    TotalAbsolutism: I mean, that depends.
    TotalAbsolutism: A housecat has 2 HP, does 1 damage in melee, and an AC of 14.
    TotalAbsolutism: And adult human will have anywhere from 3 to 15 HP depending on Con mod and how well they roll.
    TotalAbsolutism: Probably an AC of 10.
    DNSFW: A cat can kill the party wizard
    DNSFW: unless the party wizard has magic missile
    DNSFW: which even if they do, the cat might STILL kill them
    TotalAbsolutism: Again, only really true at level one and even then not really.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming they have a quarterstaff.
    TotalAbsolutism: Or any melee weapon.
    DNSFW: yeah
    TotalAbsolutism: So the Cat hits the commoner on a 6+ for 1 damage twice, then on an 11+ for 1 damage once.
    DNSFW: I'm just noting
    TotalAbsolutism: But it has to enter your square to do so; if you're armed you get an AoO and can slap at it once.
    TotalAbsolutism: Even a L1 wizard with eight strength has 30% chance to hit it then.
    TotalAbsolutism: And about a 50% chance of instantly taking it out.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L3 commoner, so average adult, will be able to kick the cat on a 13+, and does 1d3 damage unarmed.
    TotalAbsolutism: Arguably more if wearing a good boot, but we'll put that aside.
    DNSFW: of course, all this abstraction is just poking fun at the wizard
    TotalAbsolutism: Possibly 1d3+1 with an okay strength.
    TotalAbsolutism: Assuming average HP, the cat needs to enter their three times square and attack them and hit with all three attacks for at least three rounds straight without missing.
    TotalAbsolutism: their square three times
    TotalAbsolutism: And if the commoner has a weapon, the cat almost certainly loses.
    TotalAbsolutism: A L1 commoner should more accurately as a literal child.
    TotalAbsolutism: *known as
    TotalAbsolutism: So yeah. The Cat vs Commoner thing is still flawed, but not as bad as it initially seems.
    MizMahem: what about a geese though: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8G8GbLwU9eKazRfVF9SOGJpa0E
    TotalAbsolutism: That's a dire goose.
    TotalAbsolutism: Oh, and standard.
    MizMahem: There is also stats for a regular goose :p
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, it already has too much HP.
    MizMahem: It went to the gym.
    TotalAbsolutism: Also, toughness as a bonus feat?
    TotalAbsolutism: That's... really not borne out by reality.
    MizMahem: it's a tough goose
    TotalAbsolutism: It's meant to be CR 1/2
    MizMahem: that's what the sheet says
    TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, I am expressing doubt.
    MizMahem: Dire Goose will straight up murder a whole town full of commoners.
    MizMahem: they stand no chance
    TotalAbsolutism: Hmm... depends how big the town is.
    TotalAbsolutism: Looking at it...
    TotalAbsolutism: 48 HP is within the realm of possibility for maybe twenty farmers with basic weapons.
    TotalAbsolutism: Maybe ten, even.
    TotalAbsolutism: The first 'normal' goose has more HP than a wolf, though.
    TotalAbsolutism: It's nearly as tough as your average horse, even.
    MizMahem: you ever see a goose fight a wolf? No. The wolves know better.
    TotalAbsolutism: Wolves do eat geese.
    MizMahem: unpossible. They are protected by the migratory bird act of 1918.
    TotalAbsolutism: ...
    TotalAbsolutism: I'm clearly wasting my time engaging with this on a genuine level, so I will stop now.
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2019
    wasprider, Winged One and LordVile like this.
  2. a2znut

    a2znut Needs more handholding. [Forever DM]

    Nov 12, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Megaolix now the talk is officially over because all the attention is on us.
    Anon-sleepy roll 1d20 for stealth
    qqbot Anon-sleepy rolled 1d20: 3 = [3]
    Anon-sleepy :I

    Continuation of Anon's war against qqbot
    MizMahem likes this.