Journal Quest

It doesn't talk, it writes back. Also, it won't do so until you're finished writing something, due to the way it manifests in our universe as a... message board, is probably the best way to describe it to someone who doesn't have the internet.

~ The Coolest

 

There's also the fact that we have lives of our own.
... well, maybe I don't, but surely someone has.
And even I sleep from time to time.

Anyway, sometimes it will just take a while until someone notices you wrote something and bothers to reply.

- Pipeman

 

Oh hai~ gonna go out on a Limb and say your one of the doctors?
SO quick question: is it a side affect of healing magic that makers you more...visceral? or is something else?

also here have some entertainment:
[embed=425,349]http://youtu.be/DWVkNcsdN6c[/embed]

 

I doubt you'll get most of the references, but it's a parody of medical myths

 

So, wait... we can't link pictures, but videos show up?

 

If we post a pic or a vid, it shows up.

If we post a link, then it doesn't work- Because surprise surprise, books do not have internet access! So it's just FANCY COLOR TEXT~

 

And links wouldn't even be the FANCYEST OF COLORS!
By which I obviously mean rainbow.
I don't think they get invisible text, either.

 

Well hello there I'm Malcolmo.

 

Aw, thank you~

Such a cute picture too!

That's right! I specialize in regenerative medicine, as well as exotic curse removal! Although I only really got ito curse removal so I could play around with curses and not worry about the long term effects.

You'd be surprised how much more interesting a simple blinding spell can make things, and that's not even going into the more interesting stuff.

Visceral, though? I'll admit that I don't quite understand where you're going there. Sure, extensive magic use and study tends to lead to some eccentricities developing, and certain fields have certain tendencies (Shizuku's one of the clan's bibliomancers, and just like the other ones, she's this great big ball of stress and repression. It's not very healthy, but at least the rest of them have outlets).

But it sounds like she told you about how we healers are apparently this big lewd bunch. Which is a horrible stereotype, honestly.

We just happen to enjoy life, and the creation thereof, a little more than is statistically average.

Most of us barely have any fun with our patients at all, and never during a critical time in their healing process. And for the rare married ones among our numbers (I think it's just Kaoru, actually), they are totally faithful to their spouse.

So, Shizuchi mentioned that you guys are also supposed to have access to all this information, right?

Well, how about we make a little bet.

If you guys can answer a couple of my questions, then I'll take care of your friend here, completely free of charge.

But if you can't, then he'll owe me a favor~

I'm sure he'll enjoy it a lot, too~

So, what do you think?

 

What type of questions?

 

MY name is RAG

Entertainment

An African or European swallow?

On a slightly less confusing note:

Ask away. I doubt we will lose.

 

Well, why don't we keep thing limited to the subject of mundane medicine for now?

... And Raggy, I'm afraid I don't quite get what you mean. The moving picture from before didn't realy make sense, and these swallows don't really seem that funny. I mean, I know about Beltharian swallows, but I've never even hear of an African or European swallow. I mean, what kind of wizard has a name like 'Africa', anyway?

 

[embed=425,349]http://youtu.be/liIlW-ovx0Y[/embed]

[embed=425,349]http://youtu.be/pWS8Mg-JWSg[/embed]

Edit:
In case this is not self-explanatory enough, about 50% of everything we say is a reference to some piece of entertainment or literature.

 

Honestly, its gotten to the point where everything is in reference to something. I guess that's just what happens when a world is a s well connected as ours.

 

You know, I could swear I'd heard that exact same thing somewhere else once...

 

So, it's all referential humor?

Geeze, that's probably the most boring thing to bring up to foreign lady, you know?

I mean, I haven't told you guys the story of the three virgins and the field of lillies, so if I were to make a joke about 'Flower Power' you'd be sort of confused and not really laugh all that much.

Anyway, let's get started with our little game, shall we?

Name three different methods of sterilising surgical implements.

List all the chambers of the human heart.

Tell me how many bones make up the human hand.

Explain when a tourniquet around the neck is appropriate.

And lastly, explain the basics of treating a sucking chest wound.

 

Wait a fucking second we don't have any right in the goddamn least to make any sort of obligatory wager on kurtis's behalf when we don't even know things like he's fucking married or anything. What the hell guys.

I mean really.

Apply large amounts of moist heat boiling.

Use alcohol.

Use flame.



Right atrium and Ventricle. Left Atrium and Ventricle
.

27 bones in the hands not counting the ones in the tendons they vary by person.

only if you hate and want them to get even less blood to the head while they are bleeding out.

The basics involved in treating a sucking chest on our side the interdimensional gulf involve staying calm, calling actual doctors to tell you what to do and failing that availability, using a piece of plastic an air tight material to seal the wound and watchingfor signs of a tension pneumothorax. A tension pneumothorax is a collapsed lung that has leaked lots of air between the chest wall and the lung, building up pressure and pushing the lungs over to the other side of the body. If the pressure builds too much, the victim will develop a dangerously low blood pressure (shock) and likely die.

The signs include:
•Severe shortness of breath
•Unequal chest (one side looks bigger than the other)
•Veins on the neck bulging (jugular vein distension)
•Blue lips, neck or fingers (cyanosis)
•No lung sounds on one side

Take off the seal to let air escape is signs become dire.


~Shaun the not very happy with this wager.

 

I figured as a doctor, she meant not charging the guy without any sort of money.

If you mean what Sean thinks you mean, then best wait until he wakes up then ask him.

 

What are the reasonable assumption given her professed preferences, Shizu's fears and her statement of "He'll owe me a favor and one I'm sure he'll enjoy too."

When what the doctor has to know about his is that he's male and that's it.

And even if I'm wrong we have no right to make any sort of obligatory deal or wager on his behalf. We are not his attorneys. The most can rightfully do is sell our time and knowledge.

This is not a game for him or them.

Edit: Stupid phonetic dyslexia.

~Shaun

 

And yet, you still played the game.

Correct~

And the first thing you thought I would ask as a favor is something lewd? Such a dirty little mind you have! I was simply going to have him help me out with a few errands around the compound. It's not just anybody we let in here, you know? It's a very beautiful place, with all sort of interesting secrets~

But if you're still sore about that, I suppose I could pony up a little extra on my end. When he wakes up, I'll introduce him to a good teacher, OK?

 

that should be fine. It's just tutorial/sidequest.

 

Your amateurish, childish, and transparent attempt at leading and reversal is exactly as I said, and loses any hopes of technical through the vast interdimensional that separates us and leave only a pale pale shadow of secondary communication cues.

The fact he has yet to be conscious so much a 24 discernible hours since he has been ripped from his home, and deposited on another planet, in another dimension, and time within a death trapped library leaves exceedingly little time and chance for you to have gained accurate ascertainment of his character and likes unless his is a sleep babbler of some ability or you within you skills as a doctor may affect a unique form of discernment.

We are thus left at impasse. Your statement made in knowing deception however much in the style of jest or one based in both generalities of human nature and the framed ideas of your own perception created by both your own words and the actions of Kurtis' rescuer.

Your following jest now has every appearance of a retraction.

I do not find playing games on the conditions medical service in any way admirable nor do I find such improper contract. No I merely lived up to mine earlier words and offered information gathered from our shared home in exchange for aid to our lost member aid for that is what little we may do and what little we have any right to do.

An introduction to a teacher in the world so that he may get on his feet and possibly work his way home or if worst case come make a living in your realm would be a most welcome beneficence. And if it is not I would be glad to do as I have done and retrieve something for you by way of trade, Doctor.

My stance is simple. Let his obligation be earned by him and our by ourselves lest we contravene otherwise.

I apologize for apparent terseness.

~Shaun

 

...well that escalated quickly. How about we just wait until captain unconscious wakes up before anything else.

 

... Larreko Shaun, you may consider NOT antagonizing the doctor lady.

Word of advice- If they know the best ways to put you together, they also know the best ways to take you apart.

 

same reason to never piss off the people who handle your food.

 

Shaun, wasn't it?

Allow me to make something clear to you.

I'm a decent individual. Sure, I'm a little bit on the promiscuous side of things, but let me tell you something.

Number One: I don't rape people. I'll forgive the insinuation once. Just once.

Number Two: You have this way of talking, that comes across as both condescending and overly righteous. If for some reason, you ever find yourself talking to someone higher up in the clan than myself...

Just don't talk. At all.

From what I've noticed, every individual who contacts you guys has their words concealed from everybody else, along with your responses. Basically, if you piss them off, it'll turn into a he-said she-said debacle. And against an actual courtier?

Well, you just can't win that sort of thing.

In any case, your friends are giving you pretty solid advice.

Since the rest of you guys seem like decent people, I'll do you a solid and pass on some relevant info. Don't worry about passing it on to Kurtis, I'll tell him too. But this'll give you something to stew on in the mean time.

This book? It's probably a Tome. Which is to say, a book with magical powers. But, I think it's got the capacity to be a Grimoire. Which is a book that gives magical powers. Now, there are two inherent little drawbacks to this.

First off, is that granting a Contract requires permission from the Grimoire's Spirit. Now, this thing doesn't seem like it has a Spirit, but hey. You're all here, and collectively you're sort of like a spirit, right?

Second thing, is that this book doesn't exactly give off easy waves, you dig? It smells a little sinister, actually. I have no idea what kind of powers you'd give out with a Contract, assuming you're actually a Grimoire anyway. Plus, it's not like magic in general doesn't have side effects. Grimoires in particular can affect people in strange ways.

So, yeah. Just think on that for awhile.

 

... Is that so?

[img width=600 height=456]http://global3.memecdn.com/contract-maybe_o_782221.jpg[/img]

Just FYI, since I'm sure yo won't get the reference- This is a joke. We do not actually want your soul.

They just scream and wail and make nuisances of themselves, anyway.

 

Now we have to find a monkey to give Phenomenal Cosmic Power to. just to find out what what happens.

Probably turns them into a Meatpuppet.

Were going to piss someone off and get used for toilet paper i just know it.

 

Well now that seems rather interesting. I suspect that we'd best try to gather a bit more information before trying out any contracts though.

This seems likely to happen, yes.