[RWBY] Jaune BS Self Insert

[AndrewJTalon]

Neo winked. Ozpin nodded.

Ozpin: "We've offered some considerable incentives to Roman Torchwick through his... Associate here to give us more intel. As it turns out, Cinder's position is a bit more precarious than we thought. Salem has more servants, and a few have been visiting her."

Jaune: "In person?"

Jaune's Brain: Crap that's seriously not good. Salem only had a small team, how many more does she have in this reality? Crap, I can't even remember the OCs I made.

Ozpin: "Yes. We're seeing what we can find out about them. But, Miss Neapolitan guessed you were a double agent and handed over her intel on them to gain an audience."

Jaune: "Ah... I see."

Neo looked smug.

Jaune's Brain: Unless this is a double or triple bluff to infiltrate us back-Gah! Don't overthink it! It's possible to be too paranoid...

Jaune: "Neo... Listen. I'm glad you joined us but-"

Neo: signs "Just make sure Roman and I can retire to a nice beach somewhere and we'll help you out, stud. Maybe give me a baby, hm?"

Jaune: bright red "Uhhhh..."

Neo: giggles silently "You're such an easy mark. It's a wonder you fooled Cinder."

Jaune: flush "Better hope we both keep fooling her."

Neo: "Sure thing, studly. I'm going now."

She walked out. Ozpin and Glynda watched her go. Glynda scowled.

Glynda: "No manners, that one."

Ozpin: "Unsurprising, really." sips

Jaune: "Just make sure she's really gone before you talk about anything sensitive. And watch your food and drink."

Jaune didn't know if his headcanon that Cinder had poisoned Ozpin to make the fight against him so easy was true here, but better safe than sorry.

Ozpin: "Indeed. Well, until you return, please: Enjoy your vacation. You too, Glynda."

Glynda: "I'll do my best."

The holo-call ended. Jaune sighed.

Jaune: "Hey. Sorry you had to resolve a hostage situation while on vacation, Professor."

Glynda: "That is not your fault, Mister Arc. Though honestly, I'm struggling a bit with not having anything to do."

Jaune: "I get it. I've been running at full steam since I got my memories of the future. And I don't think I had a break as the Rusted Knight."

Glynda: paused "... Yes, I suppose you didn't."

Jaune: "If it helps it is as weird for me as you that I end up as the Rusted Knight." He sighed and rubbed his face.

Glynda: "I take it your friends didn't take that revelation well?"

Jaune stared at her, surprised. Glynda smirked slightly.

Glynda: "I am very observant, Mister Arc. I knew you were a fraud from the moment you stepped into this Academy, after all. Ozpin insisted you remain, so you did."

Jaune: "Fair... And no. They didn't."

Glynda: "... If it comes down to it, you still will sacrifice yourself to your fate?"

Jaune: "If I have to? If it saves lives? ... Yeah. I will."

Glynda: "I see why they were unhappy."

Jaune: "I'm not thrilled about it myself, either."

Glynda: nods "I know. But it is admirable you are willing to go through with it if necessary."

Jaune: "I... Thank you, Professor. I appreciate it."

Glynda: smiles "Good. Now, let's get back to your home, shall we? I believe the training will be done for the day. You can go and have some fun."

Jaune: "Thanks... And so can you, you know. I mean, there's gotta be something you like to do outside of work, right?"

Glynda: hums "... I did enjoy dancing. A long time ago."

Jaune: "Well... I'm taking Yang to a barn dance tonight. You're free to show up. I don't think you'll have any shortage of potential partners."

Glynda: flush "Yes, well... Thank you. I will consider it."

Jaune: "Sweet!"

Jaune's Mind: Man though... Glad she's not the type to sleep with her student. Yeah it's hot in porn but definitely problematic in reality...

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The barn dance was a bad idea. Absolutely a bad idea.

Yang had gotten there first... In a light yellow sundress. With a red handkerchief in her hair, and a warm smile on her face.

Jaune: "Humina humina..."

Yang: "Heh. What's wrong, Stud? Cat got your tongue?"

Blake: "I thought you'd be angry about that, Yang." She's in a purple sundress with a strap hanging down seductively on her shoulder.

Yang: glare "I am when it's you."

Blake: smug

Jaune's Brain: Oh boy... Please, nobody else-

Pyrrha: "Hello Jaune~!" In a loose white top, long red skirt, and her hair up with a warm smile.

Jaune: "Ah, hey Pyr..."

Pyrrha: "I do hope I can get a dance in?"

Jaune: "Uhhhh..."

Yang: Takes Jaune's arm very firmly "Maybe one... If you behave."

Weiss: "That's hardly fair, Yang." Of course she was in a slim blue dress that showed off her legs. Why wouldn't she be?

Yang: "He's my boyfriend! And I don't share!"

Ruby: pops up in daisey dukes and a red bikini top, and latches onto Jaune's back like a monkey "But good girls share! Sister Lucy told us that!"

Yang: "That's for toys, not boyfriends!"

Nora: In a tank top and short-shorts, dragging Ren along "Hey Jaune-Jaune! Did we miss the catfight?"

Jaune: "No, and you're not gonna see one."

Ren: "That will be a first."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The barn dance was actually quite civilized. Everyone in nice dresses and jeans, the band played lots of fun tunes, the barn itself was large and clean. Jaune took a turn with Yang first, and they danced happily to an upbeat song.

They didn't really talk much... But Yang did dance very close to him, practically rubbing up against him the whole time. Which Jaune didn't mind but they were getting a lot of looks. Especially from their teammates.

It wasn't until Nick and Isabel swung in front of them, that Jaune and Yang managed to slip out the back into the clean, mostly empty stables. Jaune sighs as they hold one another, leaning back against the barn wall as the music goes on.

Jaune: "They're going to track us down soon."

Yang: "Yeah, I know."

Jaune: groans "What am I going to do?"

Yang: smirk "Well-"

Jaune: snerk "I-Damnit I walked right into that one, huh?"

Yang: "Pretty much~! And it wouldn't be the first time~."

Jaune: "Nor the last... But... Geez. We gotta resolve this. I gotta resolve this." shakes his head "How the hell did this even happen?"

Yang: "You mean, how did a time travelling hero who is willing to sacrifice anything getting so much female attention from the people he loves and wants to save?"

Jaune: shakes his head "I'm no hero-"

Yang: "And you've got this dark, angsty backstory, too." She kissed him tenderly "Mmm... But you're right. We need to resolve this. I have... A few suggestions~..."

Jaune; "Such as?"

Yang: "We could get married."

Jaune: "..." He takes her hands in his and looks her right in the eyes "Some day, yes. When all of this is over-"

Yang: "Cardin and Velvet are getting married!"

Jaune: "Yeah, because he knocked her up."

Yang: "Well~..."

Jaune: "Yang..." *He stroked her cheek lovingly* "I want to do that... I think you'd be a wonderful mother. But we-"

Yang pounces on him and kisses him deeply, pushing him into the pile of hay.

Jaune: "Mmph! W-Wait, wait!"

Yang: "Seriously?! It's a literal roll in the hay! You have any idea how long I've been waiting to do this with you?!"

Jaune: "... Shit that's good. But! Buuuut... Let's be honest, Yang, Neither of us are ready for that step just yet."

Yang: huff "So, what? You want me to let you have a harem?"

Jaune: "I-What?! No! Of course not! I mean, unless you wanted one-"

Yang: "I don't! ... I-I mean... Probably?"

Jaune: "Probably?!"

Yang: "Ugh... Do you have to ruin the mood!"

Jaune: "Look... We'll sort that part out later. But... In the meantime, when we get back to Beacon... I've got a plan."

Yang: "And that is...?"

Jaune: "I did hook up Cardin and Velvet. With your help? We can hook the others up with good guys and get them off our case!"

Yang: deadpan "Even Pyrrha?"

Jaune: "Well... Um... One problem at a time?"

Yang: sighs in annoyance "Fine."

Glynda, in a fetching low cut sundress, enters the stables. She looks around.

Glynda; "Mister Arc, I-Oh! Sorry..."

Jaune: "Oh! Um, Miss Goodwitch-!"

Glynda: bright red "I'll... Ask for that dance later!" She flees.

Yang stares after her, and back at Jaune. She sighs heavily.

Yang:"Fine. The harem will be plan C then."

Jaune: "Wait what-" Yang kisses him "Mmm?!"

Yang: "We'll worry about that later! Roll in the hay, damnit!"

Jaune: "Yes ma'am'!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The next morning... Yang and Jaune were cuddled up to each other at the table in the Arc Family Farmhouse. Feeding eachother, cuddling, even giggling. Which was... Pretty obnoxious to everyone else, to be honest. Ren is looking rather drained, while Nora was beaming happily and glowing.

Coral: "Ugh... Gross."

Verdy: "Do you have to be that affectionate all the time?"

Jaune: "Yes. Yes we do."

Lilac: "More eggs, everyone? Bacon?"

Jaune: "Yes please. Starving."

Isabel: Looks concerned

Nick is still giving Jaune thumbs up when Isabel isn't looking.

Yang: Still a bit groggy from just having gotten up, sees everyone's stares and sighs in exasperation. "Alright, what do ya wanna know?"

Nora: "What? Nobody's gonna ask about the sex Renny and I had?!"

Jaune: "... How was it?"

Nora: "GREAT! Thanks for asking, Jaune-Jaune!"

Ren gurgles a bit, but he's got a smile on his face.

Weiss: Slams her hands on the table. "IS NOW REALLY THE TIME TO BE FOCUSING ON THAT WHEN THE TWO OF THEM-THEM..." Growing more and more red in the face as she tries to say the words.

Ruby/Blake/Pyrrha/Yang: "Fucked?"

Weiss: "YES!" Sits down in a huff, her arms crossed.

Orchid: "Can we please not talk about my brother's sex life at the breakfast table?"

Jaune: "That would be great, yeah."

Weiss: "In a barn?! I thought it was bad when you do it everywhere at Beacon!"

Yang: grins "Voyeur~."

Weiss: "Exhibitionist!"

Yang: "Sure am!"

Isabel: tense "Let's talk about something else, shall we?"

A lot of mutters ensue. Jaune nods, going back to eating and cuddling with his girlfriend.

Training resumes... But Isabel takes Jaune aside during a break. She leads him to the porch.

She sits in her old rocking chair, he on the porch swing

Isabel: "... It's been a while since it was just the two of us, huh?"

Jaune: Slightly swaying his legs on the porch swing, a bit afraid to look at her at the moment. "Yeah, it has."

Isabel: "... You know... After hearing about your future... I wouldn't blame you for hating me, Jaune."

Jaune: Quickly turns to her. "What, no?! I could never hate you!" Runs a hand through his hair. "I mean, yeah, I was a frustrated when you kept refusing to train me, but I-" Stops himself from rambling and takes a deep breath. "You're my mom, I love you, even after everything."

Isabel: sighs "... In the future you saw, I never even tried to help you."

Jaune's Brain: Well that was because the writers were awful but... In universe, I have no idea what to contrive for that.

Jaune: "Maybe that was because I never reached out? Here I did, but there..." Gesturing outward. "I never even tried calling home, let alone going back to it." Pulls up one of his legs and wraps his arms around it. "If anyones to blame, it's me." He says quietly.

Isabel: "Oh Jaune..." She got up and sat on the swing with him. She hugged him "... I... Was a fool. I wanted to just... Just protect you from all the bad things in the world... It was stupid to think I could."

Jaune: "Mom..." Leans into her comforting hug before deciding to just return it with his own. "with all the scary, messed up, stuff you and dad have gone through, you had every reason to."

Isabel: "Still... I... I shouldn't have forced you to live the life I wanted for you."

Jaune: Grimaces. "I can't argue against that..." Sees her expression falter. ", but I can say that I'm better off for it! I mean, sure, I'm behind in combat, but all those other skills you taught me have been way more useful to me, especially with all the recent stuff that's been going on." Gives her a wry grin. "Besides, not like I'll be bad at being a Huntsman forever, right?"

Isabel: "No... But after you were kidnapped... I'm worried for you, Jaune."

Jaune: "I mean..." Scratches the back of his neck. "if you want you can just take heart that..." Cringes a bit. ", technically speaking, I can't die just yet. You know..." Tilts his head side to side. "the whole me being the Rusted Knight thing." Shrugs. "Kind of need to be alive in order to do that."

Isabel: "Oh good, I get to look forward to my son becoming a legend... And spending decades alone in the Ever After, all thanks to some crazy bitch poisoning him!" sighs

Jaune: Puts up placating hands. "Okay, first up, let's dial it back a bit, Alyx is still a kid, and second, her poisoning me happens while I'm in there, not before. Also, it's not like I'm completely alone..." Smiles optimistically. "I have Juniper!" Shrugs. "Eventually."

Isabel: hugs him tighter "I still don't like this, Jaune... And neither does anyone else."

Jaune: Sighs. "I know, I know..." Drags his palms across his face. "Breaker, don't I know it..." Nods grimly. ", but it's happening, better to face it head on than run away from it."

Isabel: sniffles, hugs him as she cries softly "... I'm going to train you and your friends... To destroy anything that looks at you funny. I swear."

Jaune: smiles "I know Mom... Thank you."

Isabel: "But... That said..." She pulled back "Are you sure you're fine with a harem? Is... Is it the trauma from your future memories? Have you thought this through? Papa Shirou's harem almost killed eachother!"

Jaune: "MOM! It's not a harem!"

Isabel: deadpan look

Jaune: "It is not... I... Well it's not a harem until Yang agrees..."

Isabel: very deadpan look

Jaune: "Do you actually want me to have a harem, Mom?"

Isabel: "No, no... But when all these broken young ladies come together around you, someone who is willing to sacrifice so much for them? I can understand it. Your father was willing to do anything for me. Even stand up to me, so I could be a better person."

Jaune: "Oh, good..."

Isabel: deadpan "Also... Without your father I would have probably turned into some kind of amoral mad scientist so, please consider the ramifications of friendzoning a lot of mentally unstable and very powerful Huntresses when you literally came back in time to save them all after enduring Hell."

Jaune: "... I'm not gonna friendzone them... I-I'm going to hook them up with other men who will love them and everything will be fine!"

Isabel: skeptical "Uh huh. And when-Sorry, if that fails?"

Jaune: "..." glumly "Harem."

Isabel: snorts "Well, at least you're prepared for the inevitable."

Jaune: "Mom!"