[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Handspan]

So tonight my younger sister has gotten married! Now that I'm resting to recover from this in the ceremony and celebration have some prompts in honor of her wedding.

Much to everyone's surprise Raven was a blushing Bride back in beacon. She really had been quite taken with Vale's wedding traditions.

How do the girls of team RWBY team jnpr act on their respective wedding nights?

To pull off a scam neo marry some hapless fool. Unfortunately for her he wins her over with his dumb puppy ways.

After a local priest gets in an accident Jaune and Arslan after work together to officiate a wedding.

How did each of the arc clan weddings go?

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Weiss: "... Let me get this straight. Diamond smugglers used a rocket powered surfboard to smuggle their stolen goods... And then it got eaten by a killer octopus... While terrorists held everyone in an airship that was about to explode... While Rich Masterson, aka Dave Hoff, had to give a charity concert?"

Click to shrink...

Penny watches the show too because she's convinced Rich Masterson's car is intelligent......

 

[zMADLAXz]

Spoiler: My Rant About stupid Weapon Physics

You know I was going through the design of Crescent Rose today and accidentally decided to use the Physics I learned in high school and a little bit of Gun design knowledge to examine it a little(big mistake I know).

And I realised that Ruby, my dear girl, isn't a mechanical engineering prodigy, the laws of Physics on Remnant just suck.

Putting THAT much weight on the barrel of a heavy impact sniper Rifle? I mean high precision rifles use thicker barrels to deal with the harmonics of the barrel to prevent excessive vibration and bending(because at those pressures the gun acts more like a slinky than a rigid pipe) so you need to take measures for the timing and the tempo of those pressure waves.

But with how much weight the Scythe has towards the end and how much Ruby swings that bitch around, yeah that gun is pure anime bullshit.

Even Yang's Gauntlets aren't that much better, considering the power behind those shells she fires and the size of Ember Cecilia?

The barrel of that shotgun gauntlet is too small to reliably direct the bullet. Just imagine if you saw off too much of the shotgun, yeah the Gaseous explosion would pack more of a punch but good luck trying to fire anything and reliably hitting anything beyond a yard.

Pyrrha's weapons are better but only marginally so because I am sceptical about the extending barrel whin Milo is in Javelin form.

The Best MechaShift Weapon is surprisingly Qrow's Harbinger, The Shotgun is not connected to the Blade and is of appropriate length, the Blade is segmented so instead of relying on complex mechanics, it's just Curving the segments a bit.

Plus it also allows for 3 modes that all serve a unique purpose.

I didn't count Blake's Kusarigama because it's kind of boring and the ribbon is way more flimsier than the rope and the chains used in traditional Kusarigama

So the main Idea is a mechanical engineer, with his Desktop setup so that he has his precious Designing software and other books or materials he will need, are Isekai'd into Remnant. Specifically Atlas.

Free from a lot of the stupid laws of Physics, Remnant now has to deal with an Engineer with nigh infinite resources, and a dance with the devil.

Join the rest of Remnant as this nerd's wet dream is now the problem of entirety of the population of Remnant, Grimm included.

Atlas Researcher(he looks to the sky): HOW! HOW! HOW is he doing all that?! That contraption is Bigger than Atlas and Firing literal Rocks faster than our fastest guns!

Researcher 2(as she goes throw his designs): Wait, was this kind of weight reduction even possible?! This Submarine weighs less than a squadron Atlesian Knight and can probably Suplex a Leviathan?!

Ironwood: .....Perhaps we should consider his other proposals if this is what he came up with.

Researcher 1(still going through his notes): Wait, what do you mean by splitting the atom? What good is that going to achieve?
Wait, why is he talking about splitting atoms and Smashing atoms at the same time?

Researcher 2: Knowing this guy, he is probably going go for another stupid contraption that probably launches us into the moon or something.

Researcher 1: I need a break.

Researcher 2: And I need a smoke.

 

[Bommel]

Yang: "What? I'm glad! I was afraid you'd end up with Crescent Rose as your boyfriend!"

Ruby: "That's sick and weird, Yang! He's my son!"

Click to shrink...

I always imagined that Crescent Rose would be more of a girl in Ruby's eyes (her mother's last name is Rose, and roses are often associated with femininity in cultural context).

 

[DaJuggernaut]

Ruby if Crescent Rose ever breaks.

 

[Dragon Bob]

So I was thinking about Ironwood and why his heel turn failed and how to do it better.
Ultimately I think it comes down to one big issue, speed. Ironwood goes from reasonable wants to reunite remnant and fight together against the Grimm to abandoning all the poors and hoping Atlas can survive without any food or water imports over about 5 minutes.
Now the best option would be to completely remove the heel turn. Have Ironwood want to defend Atlas at all costs and refuse to retreat. Meanwhile RWBY is trying to evacuate Mantle, Ironwood refuses to help because he wants all soldiers to fight the massive Grimm. The situation gets worse and worse and Ironwood refuses to bend, even when the heroes come up with their escape plan. You can even throw in him ordering Penny killed after she's hacked or Winter to kill the Maiden because they need the fire power. Until someone knocks sense into him and then he orders the army to cover the retreat and goes out fighting Salem.
But if you really want to make him completely insane, and have the same timeline as the original show, you have him start insane. He's lost after the fall of Vale, Ozpin is MIA, his friend Leo has turned traitor and someone from Atlas hacked their robots. He's paranoid and has already turned Atlas into a mostly fascist state. RWBY shows up and slowly figure out how bad things are over a few episodes, then they start trying to get him to do the right thing. Really focus on how unstable he is, his defensive mentally, wild schemes. Meanwhile the Ace Ops and Winter are desperately trying to convince themselves that Ironwood is right, he's charismatic enough that he's lead them down the slippery slope with him, they know his actions are wrong but 'are needed to save humanity'. Him turning on RWBY is him declaring them to be traitors all along, ranting about how Blake is working with the White Fang, Weiss with her father, Ruby must have waited to use her eyes until Vale was already destroyed, and Yang just didn't care. The Ace Ops are conflicted on what to do, until word comes in that Qrow killed Clover and decide that proves RWBY are evil and Ironwood is good, with Marrow being the only one who stays conflicted. Winter meanwhile is desperate to believe that her father figure is right and has been trained to believe in him since she was a teenager. She 'knows' that if they can just get through this disaster Ironwood will understand that Rwby aren't evil and that Ironwood has some plan to still win.

It still wouldn't be great, but it would be so much better than what we got.

The first option would make for a much better story though.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Blake: "What's next? Lifeguards fighting samurai? Or ninjas? Or ninja samurai?!"

Jaune: "Actually, they already had episodes with samurai. And ninja. And ninja samurai."

Blake: "Wait. What."

Yang: "Yeah! Dave Hoff put away a Fuujin crimelord and when he gets out of jail, he comes after Dave to try and kill him and his family! With his team of ninjas!"

Weiss: "... How did a lifeguard put a Fuujin crimelord in jail?"

Yang: "Those kinds of questions don't matter when it comes to Valewatch."

Jaune: "Honestly, asking any more questions than necessary kind of defeats the point of watching it."

Blake: "So... Don't think about it?"

Yang: "Nope!"

Jaune: "Not too hard, or you'll give yourself a stroke."

Weiss: "And so much is explained about you two blond bimbos."

Yang and Jaune: "Hey!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Once again, our heroes are tuning in for another episode of ValeWatch. Even Weiss has gotten into making fun of the stupid show.

Weiss: "Vikings... Frozen Vikings from Solitas. They were in an ice berg, unfroze, and attacked the city."

Yang: laughing her ass off

Jaune: ditto

Ruby: "Ugh... Those axes and swords are all wrong! They're modern Dust refined steel, not forged!"

Nora: "I know right?! My enjoyment of this episode is severely impaired!"

Ren: "More caramel popcorn?"

Nora: "Thanks Renny! I am appeased!"

Weiss: groans "Well at least Pyrrha is in the episode to-"

Pyrrha on screen: "Hey you! Stop that! You Vikings! Are! So bad! I will defeat you!"

Weiss: Stares at Pyrrha "... How many acting classes did you take again?"

Pyrrha: blush "I was nervous!"

Jaune: "Still, this is a great fight scene. You're the best at those, Pyr!"

Pyrrha: "I-Oh, w-well, thank you!"

Yang: "Hmph. I could do better fight scenes..."

Jaune: "Huh?"

Yang: louder "Yeah, that was basically the only saving grace of this show: Cool fight scenes, hot guys and girls, and total insanity."

Weiss: "Wait, was? It was cancelled?!"

Jaune: "Yeah. I'm guessing they brought Pyr on as a desperate hail mary?"

Pyrrha: "Unfortunately, yes. Then they made a spin off set in Menagerie and um... Well that lasted four episodes before being canceled."

Ruby: "I heard the producer got thrown out of a window in his office building."

Stares

Ruby: "He was fine after!"

Nora: "Oh good! That's what I was worried about!"

Yang: "So, you've gotta have all kinds of dirt from behind the scenes, Cereal Girl-Right?"

Pyrrha: "Oh, well... Not really. Mister Hoff was actually very nice. He tried to help me with acting and even gave me advice for a singing career... Which um... I didn't go for. Not fully."

Jaune: "I bet you sing great!"

Pyrrha: bright red "Th-Thank you!"

Yang: scowls "I also sing, ya know."

Jaune: "Oh, I'm sorry Yang. I'd love to hear you sing too!"

Weiss: "I am literally a professional singer!"

Jaune: blinks "But I've already heard you sing, Weiss."

Weiss: "Hmph!"

Jaune: ... Women.

Jaune: "Anyway! Next episode!"

Weiss: "Please tell me this isn't as crazy as the last one?"

Yang: "It totally isn't! In fact, Blake? Stop reading your smut fics and watch with us! I think you'll find it hilarious!"

Blake: "I somehow doubt it."

They watch... And...

Blake: "... Let me get this straight. The Straw Feminist and Faunus Rights Activist who died an episode ago... Is reincarnated as a dog."

Yang: "Eeyup!"

Jaune: "Totally!"

Blake: "... And this episode's writer's other credits include?"

Jaune: "Mostly 'World's Blankiest Blank' kind of stuff."

Blake: "Well, at least they're consistent."

Weiss: smirk "Oh, I am just loving this~."

Blake: "You would, racist!"

Weiss: "Brat!"

Blake: "Sow!"

Weiss: "Hypocrite!"

Jaune: sighs as Weiss and Blake argue "Maybe this was a bad idea."

Yang: "At least it wasn't the Cat People Episode. We'd never hear the end of it."

 

[Rakdos92]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

Same reason they put Hulk Hogan into various movies.

 

[Dragon Bob]

Jaune: blinks "But I've already heard you sing, Weiss."

Click to shrink...

I can just see Jaune tilting his head like a confused puppy.

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

They were desperate, Pyrrha was hot and popular.
They probably hoped she would be a good enough actor and the agents hoped they could turn it into an acting career.

 

[Dragon Bob]

Same reason they put Hulk Hogan into various movies.

Click to shrink...

The difference is Hulk Hogan was already an actor, wrestling is basically a form of Play, one with more physical requirements and improvisation than a standard play, but not just a sport. Terry Bollea was a great actor, just he specialized in a very specific form of acting.

 

[Bommel]

I must've missed it somewhere, but I really wanna know why the studio thought hiring a ring fighter like Pyrrha as one of the show's stars was a good idea?

I mean, it's not like her career was Wrestler or soccer or any other sport that requires acting among other things.

Click to shrink...

The answer is cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine is why they thought that was a good idea.

Clearly the writers were already on the stuff, so why not most if not all of the higher-ups of the studio (given how long the show was on and popular, it was clearly working for quite a while).

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Jaune: "Anyway! Next episode!"

Click to shrink...

It's revealed Pyrrha is actually an alien, and must return to her home planet!

 

[DaJuggernaut]

Pyrrha: I must go, my planet needs me. (Proceeds to badly clip upwards out of frame)

 

[Rakdos92]

Pyrrha: I must go, my planet needs me. (Proceeds to badly clip upwards out of frame)

Click to shrink...

Jaune: Why didn't they use these rope things you see in Mistrian movies and theatres to pull you up? Or you use your Polarity and some metal shoes to lift yourself up?