[RWBY] The Great Temporal Step-Sibling War!

[zMADLAXz]

What, does he have a giant penis or something?"

Blake turned scarlet. Ghira and Kali struggled mightily to keep straight faces. Behind her, Leander and Leandra looked openly haunted-they had far too many memories about how… enthusiastic their future parents could be.

Blake swallowed once, then lifted her chin and declared with every scrap of Belladonna dignity she could muster:

"YES! But that's beside the point!

Click to shrink...

I would call out the internalized stereotyping of Sex and Romance with body shapes and features but honestly I would ask the same thing in their position.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

"YES! But that's beside the point!"

Click to shrink...

Female Fang: well you can't just end on that!
Male Fang: Do we have to be here for this?
Everyone: Shut up and cope

 

[GrimmKenway8646]

Blake swallowed once, then lifted her chin and declared with every scrap of Belladonna dignity she could muster:

"YES! But that's beside the point!"

Click to shrink...

*facepalm*
What dignity Blake?

 

[PotatoVodka]

Well... That's one way to try and change their minds

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Radian Cathedral, Gallia, Vale

Five years after Salem's defeat

- - -

The dressing room smelled like lilies, hairspray, and barely-contained panic.

Yang Xiao Long stood in front of the full-length mirror in a flowing white gown that somehow managed to look both elegant and sexy-Even with her pregnancy. Six months pregnant, her belly curved proudly under the silk, and her golden hair had been twisted into soft waves that framed her face. She looked beautiful. She looked terrified.

Weiss fussed with the train, Winter adjusted the veil with military precision, and Blake stood off to the side offering quiet, steady reassurance.

"It's fine, Yang," Blake said gently, "It's all going to be fine."

"I'm fine," Yang said for the fifth time in two minutes. Her voice cracked. "Totally fine. One hundred percent fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm getting married. To Jaune. The guy who literally brought me back from being a dragon. No big deal. Except—what if I just… hopped on Bumblebee right now? Revved the engine, hit the highway, and kept going until I hit Vacuo? I could be in the desert by sundown. Sand in my hair, wind in my face, no responsibilities—"

"Yang," Weiss cut in sharply, "you are six months pregnant. You are not hopping on anything with two wheels."

Winter nodded once, arms crossed. "And even if you weren't, I would tackle you before you reached the parking lot."

Blake stepped closer, ears twitching. "Yang. Breathe. You're spiraling."

"I'm not spiraling!" Yang's hands fluttered over her belly. "I'm just… thinking. Logically. What if I turn out exactly like Mom? What if I get scared and run and leave Jaune holding the baby and—oh gods, what if the kid grows up wondering why Mommy disappeared on a motorcycle like some bad country song?"

The door burst open. Ruby skidded in, bouquet already slightly crushed from nerves. "Yang! I heard you from the hallway! You're not running! You're getting married! To Jaune! Our Jaune! The one who makes terrible puns and still blushes when you kiss him in public!"

Yang's eyes were wide, verging on hysteria. "Ruby, I love him so much it hurts, but what if love isn't enough? What if I ruin everything? What if—"

Weiss grabbed Yang's shoulders firmly. "Xiao Long, you will calm down. You are carrying my future niece or nephew and I refuse to deliver emotional support in a desert because you decided to reenact your mother's greatest hits."

Blake exchanged a quick look with Ruby, then slipped out the door without another word.

A minute later the door opened again. Blake returned, gently pushing Jaune Arc inside. He was already in his tux-simple, classic, the jacket straining just a little across his broad shoulders. The horrible scar across his neck stood out stark against his collar: the jagged line where Cinder had nearly taken his head, and where Yang-in her dragon form-had bitten him in blind, grief-fueled rage during the chaos of the Ever After.

The other women quietly filed out. Ruby gave Yang a quick thumbs-up and a watery smile before closing the door behind them.

Jaune crossed the room in three strides and pulled Yang into his arms, holding her tight against his chest. She buried her face in his shoulder, the white veil crumpling between them. Soft, shaky sniffles turned into quiet sobs.

"What are you afraid of, Yang?" he asked gently, one hand stroking her back, the other cradling the back of her head.

"I… What if… What if I run away?" she whispered, voice breaking. "What if I leave you and… and our kid behind like my mom?"

Jaune's arms tightened. "Yang… Yang. First… you never cut and run against Salem. Not once. You fought tooth and nail, even when you were a dragon. And second?" He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, that familiar, steady blue gaze unwavering. "You really think I wouldn't track you down to the ends of Remnant and bring you back?"

Yang let out a wet, broken scoff. "I nearly killed you… I… I'm so scared…" Another shaky breath. "I'm so scared…"

Jaune cupped her face, thumbs brushing away tears. "And that's what courage means. Conquering your fear… not letting it win. You're not your mother, Yang. You never will be. You stayed. You fought. You came back to me. Every single time."

Yang sniffled hard, leaning into his touch. "…You're right… You're right… I'm just… I'm just so stupid…"

Jaune smiled softly, pressing his forehead to hers. "You're pregnant and getting married. Of course you're gonna act stupid."

Yang let out a watery laugh despite herself. "…You're really tempting me to get even more emotional, you know. Like with my fists."

"I know…" He grinned, that crooked, boyish smile she loved so much. "Which is how stupid I am, huh? Stupidly in love with you."

Yang laughed again, louder this time, the sound breaking through the tears. "That was terrible…"

"I know…"

She looked up at him, eyes shining. "I loved it…" Then she leaned in and kissed him—soft at first, then deeper, her hands sliding up to paw at the lapels of his tuxedo.

Jaune groaned against her mouth but gently caught her wrists, pulling back just enough. "Y-Yang! We gotta get married first!"

"Fine… Fine…" She rested her forehead against his, breathing hard, a wicked little spark returning to her lilac eyes. "But after? You'd better get me to the limo fast… 'Cause I might not be able to wait~."

Jaune let out a long, suffering groan, cheeks flushing. "Great… Now I won't be able to either."

Yang laughed again-bright, real, and full of love-then kissed him once more, softer this time. "Good. Gives us something to look forward to."

 

[John Jackson]

Insert riding the dragon joke
of course if Jaune needs to "tame" the dragon he probably knows the secret technique… knife flutes

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XZmklbhZfbQ&pp=ygUVc3VtbW9uIHRoZSBkcmFnb256b3Jk

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Radian Cathedral, Gallia, Vale

Five years after Salem's defeat

- - -

The dressing room was pure chaos wrapped in white silk and rose petals.

Ruby Rose stood in the center of it all, absolutely radiant in her wedding gown—except for the fact that she looked two seconds away from launching herself out the nearest window like a human Crescent Rose bullet.

"I can't do this!" she squeaked, pacing in a tight circle, veil flapping behind her like a battle standard. "What if I trip over my own feet? What if my normal knees just-just give out? What if I burst out of the room screaming and everyone sees me running down the aisle backwards? What if-?!"

"Ruby," Weiss said, voice sharp but fond as she tried to pin the veil back in place, "you are not going to burst out of anywhere. You're my best friend and you will walk down that aisle like the elegant, graceful Huntress you are."

"Elegant? Me?" Ruby flailed her arms. "I still trip over air on a good day! And these knees—my normal knees—are not built for weddings! They're built for scythe-swinging and cookie-baking, not slow dignified walking while everyone stares at me!"

Blake stepped in smoothly, hands gentle on Ruby's shoulders. "Deep breaths. You've faced Salem. You've faced Tyrian. You can face walking twenty feet in heels."

Yang, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and a grin that was half-sisterly affection, half-amusement, chuckled. "Besides, if your knees betray you, Jaune will just carry you the rest of the way. He's done it before."

"That's not helping!" Ruby wailed.

Penny Polendina hovered nearby, green eyes wide with helpful concern, her legs making soft whirring sounds every time she shifted.

"Friend Ruby, your knees are functioning at ninety-eight point seven percent efficiency! I have been monitoring your vitals since we started getting ready. There is only a zero-point-three percent chance of catastrophic knee failure!"

Ruby's eyes widened as she began to tremble.

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "Penny, that is… somehow making it worse."

Yang waved her hands. "Yeah, not helping! We're trying to calm her down, not wind her up!"

Ruby's silver eyes were wide and panicked. "See? Even Penny knows my knees are doomed! I'm gonna trip, fall on my face, and our babies will think their mom is the clumsiest person on Remnant and-!"

Penny's rockets fired with a cheerful whoosh. She shot out of the room like a mint-green missile before anyone could stop her.

Ruby blinked. "What the heck is she—?"

Thirty seconds later Penny rocketed back in, one metallic arm wrapped firmly around Jaune Arc's waist as she carried him bridal-style through the doorway. Jaune looked equal parts startled and resigned, still half in his tux, artificial right hand twitching slightly at his side.

Weiss shrieked. "PENNY! They're not supposed to see each other before the ceremony!"

Penny tilted her head innocently, still hovering with Jaune in her arms. "Query: Do the bride and groom need to be blinded? I can provide sensory deprivation goggles if traditional superstition requires temporary visual obstruction-?"

"Penny!" Yang barked, already herding the others toward the door. "Out. All of you. Now."

Blake gave Ruby an encouraging nod. Weiss muttered something about "ridiculous robot logic" under her breath. Yang shot her sister a quick thumbs-up before closing the door firmly behind them, leaving Ruby and Jaune alone.

Ruby stared at him, veil slightly askew, hands hovering protectively over her belly. "Jaune… what is it? You look… off."

Jaune rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, the artificial right one still giving occasional little jerks. "It's nothing."

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "Jaune Arc. Spill."

He sighed, holding up the malfunctioning hand. The fingers twitched again, servos making a soft grinding sound. "It's… glitching a bit. Started this morning. I thought I could tough it out until after the ceremony."

Ruby's panic evaporated instantly, replaced by that familiar focused Huntress-engineer glare. She marched over (knees apparently forgetting they were supposed to be traitorous), dropped to her knees despite the dress, and pulled a small emergency repair kit out of… somewhere inside her gown.

Not that Jaune commented on that: He knew her too well.

"You absolute dork," she scolded gently, already popping open a panel on his wrist and fiddling with the micro-tools. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've fixed this last night!"

Jaune smiled down at her, soft and warm.

"In all the excitement of the wedding… I thought I'd tell you after. Didn't want to stress you out more."

Ruby sighed, carefully recalibrating a servo. "Jaune… I'll always be here for you. That's what marriage is all about. Does it always have to be you taking on more hardship by yourself? We... We promised we'd never be like that. Never again."

He watched her work, the artificial hand slowly steadying under her touch. "I'm the tank. The shield. That's my job."

Ruby scoffed, closing the panel with a satisfied click and giving the hand a test flex. It moved smoothly now. "We're more than our roles, dummy. You don't have to carry everything alone. Not anymore."

Jaune's expression softened. He reached down with his newly-fixed hand—warm, steady—and gently cupped her cheek. "Yes… and the same goes for you." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, right through the veil. "My knees might be normal, but I still need you to catch me sometimes too."

Ruby rose up on her toes (knees behaving perfectly, thank you very much) and kissed him properly: Soft, sweet, then deeper as her arms looped around his neck. Jaune pulled her closer, careful of her belly, and for a moment the entire world narrowed down to just the two of them.

The door cracked open.

Weiss's voice cut through like a rapier. "Save that for the honeymoon, you two! We still have a ceremony to get through!"

Ruby pulled back with a sheepish giggle, cheeks flushed, silver eyes sparkling. Jaune just grinned, resting his forehead against hers.

"Ready?" he whispered.

Ruby took a deep breath, squeezed his repaired hand, and nodded. "Yeah… I think my normal knees are gonna be just fine."

She kissed him one more time—quick and full of promise—then let Weiss drag her back toward the mirror for final adjustments.

Jaune lingered in the doorway a second longer, watching her with that same look he'd had since Beacon: like she hung the moon and stars and built them herself.

"See you at the altar, Crater Face," he teased softly.

Ruby stuck her tongue out at him, but she was smiling brighter than any silver-eyed blast. "You better be there, Vomit Boy. Or I'm coming after you."