Galacticplumber
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2018
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I was always a fan of the direct approach to problems when giving advice, but I do see the merit in simple routine change for a short term relaxation.
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SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 2 (Naruto/Fallout SI)
- Thread starter Fulcon
- Start date
I was always a fan of the direct approach to problems when giving advice, but I do see the merit in simple routine change for a short term relaxation.
Darko
Connoisseur.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 23,102
Nice to see you writing again.
Great chapter.
if you're feeling tired with this fic then you could just end it now and just give some notes on what Daisuke would do in the future and the result of his actions.
You can also focus on the other characters and how they are doing.
Ultimately I hope you don't lose your desire to write. Your stories are some of the best I've ever red and I hope you continue writing.
Great chapter.
if you're feeling tired with this fic then you could just end it now and just give some notes on what Daisuke would do in the future and the result of his actions.
You can also focus on the other characters and how they are doing.
Ultimately I hope you don't lose your desire to write. Your stories are some of the best I've ever red and I hope you continue writing.
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
I want to delete the story from the internet so no one can read it anymore.
That's the plan. I just...I dunno, I got super bummed out by the mixed reception the past...10ish chapters have recieved? I write this stuff to entertain people and if half the people that read it aren't entertained, what's the point of writing?
Thank you.
If they aren't characters, there's not a point in writing them. That's my philosophy on it all.
Not at this time. Comes later.
Thanks for the kind words.
Speaking of godkings...
Okay, I did some thinking on it and...I think I may have spoken too hastily.
*engaging rant mode*
So, I believe most if not all of you know that I have a difficult relationship with criticism. I am not the best at handling it. I get defensive easily, especially when I feel that I did the absolute best I could. It's very easy for me to snap into a 'well, if you don't like this, why are you still reading?' and it's something that I've been working on.
For the past, well, 10ish chapters, specifically for Daisuke's marriage, there has been some really negative statements made about the fic. 'The plot has slowed to a halt', 'why is this here', 'this is so stupid', etc. It seemed like the focal point of people's dislike was, well, Daisuke's portion of the fic. The main character.
Now, if a minor character of the fic gets some negative feedback, that's fine. If people hated Katsuki, I could have her wind up back in iron for her own safety or something. But Daisuke? The main character? The things he's doing are the reason people hating the fic and losing interest? The hell am I supposed to do about that?
Look, I write by instinct. I don't have a plan dozens of chapters down the line. I have ideas that I like and want to tackle at some point, but I almost never have a set in stone plan. As a consequence, I can't always tell you why I put something in the fic. I can't. I can't tell you why dialogue between Anko and Daisuke about his discomfort with oral sex is in there. I know it's awkward and off-putting! I know it shows their relationship strengthening somehow, but I can't specify. I can't tell you why other things are in there. I have a vague idea, maybe, but I can't...tell you. I can't even tell you if it'll come up ever again because, again, I write by instinct. So when people get hissy about a certain part of the fic, I just throw my hands up in the air because I know it's there for a reason but I can't tell you what it is.
That's the real reason I wound up with writer's block...I just didn't know what to do. People were disliking the main character of the fic and what he was doing and...I couldn't handle it. So I grew to despise the character because he was the focal point of everything people were finding wrong with the fic.
...sorry.
So, I believe most if not all of you know that I have a difficult relationship with criticism. I am not the best at handling it. I get defensive easily, especially when I feel that I did the absolute best I could. It's very easy for me to snap into a 'well, if you don't like this, why are you still reading?' and it's something that I've been working on.
For the past, well, 10ish chapters, specifically for Daisuke's marriage, there has been some really negative statements made about the fic. 'The plot has slowed to a halt', 'why is this here', 'this is so stupid', etc. It seemed like the focal point of people's dislike was, well, Daisuke's portion of the fic. The main character.
Now, if a minor character of the fic gets some negative feedback, that's fine. If people hated Katsuki, I could have her wind up back in iron for her own safety or something. But Daisuke? The main character? The things he's doing are the reason people hating the fic and losing interest? The hell am I supposed to do about that?
Look, I write by instinct. I don't have a plan dozens of chapters down the line. I have ideas that I like and want to tackle at some point, but I almost never have a set in stone plan. As a consequence, I can't always tell you why I put something in the fic. I can't. I can't tell you why dialogue between Anko and Daisuke about his discomfort with oral sex is in there. I know it's awkward and off-putting! I know it shows their relationship strengthening somehow, but I can't specify. I can't tell you why other things are in there. I have a vague idea, maybe, but I can't...tell you. I can't even tell you if it'll come up ever again because, again, I write by instinct. So when people get hissy about a certain part of the fic, I just throw my hands up in the air because I know it's there for a reason but I can't tell you what it is.
That's the real reason I wound up with writer's block...I just didn't know what to do. People were disliking the main character of the fic and what he was doing and...I couldn't handle it. So I grew to despise the character because he was the focal point of everything people were finding wrong with the fic.
...sorry.
Galacticplumber
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2018
- Messages
- 345
Ah. So this isn't an internally grown dislike, but a reaction to negative criticism. You need to understand something, for your own peace of mind if nothing else.
When a fic shifts dramatically in direction, some people are just going to drop off. This can happen regardless of any quality of the new work. A sequel story will almost unilaterally have less overall attention than an original, because people will want the context of the original for what's going on.
These two factors combine to guarantee that less people overall will stick with it.
If that upsets you, you need to ask yourself why you're doing this. Is this just about writing a story which amuses you, and sharing it with anyone interested, or is it the attention itself? Both are valid.
Art for art's sake is generally about exploring yourself using the work as a lens. It's a personal matter, done for personal enjoyment. Interaction with others about it is nice, we've all had fun here, but is secondary.
Art for the sake of interaction is relatively simple. Find a popular topic, and use a lot of straightforward elements the people flock to.
Is this a personal project, or a community piece?
When a fic shifts dramatically in direction, some people are just going to drop off. This can happen regardless of any quality of the new work. A sequel story will almost unilaterally have less overall attention than an original, because people will want the context of the original for what's going on.
These two factors combine to guarantee that less people overall will stick with it.
If that upsets you, you need to ask yourself why you're doing this. Is this just about writing a story which amuses you, and sharing it with anyone interested, or is it the attention itself? Both are valid.
Art for art's sake is generally about exploring yourself using the work as a lens. It's a personal matter, done for personal enjoyment. Interaction with others about it is nice, we've all had fun here, but is secondary.
Art for the sake of interaction is relatively simple. Find a popular topic, and use a lot of straightforward elements the people flock to.
Is this a personal project, or a community piece?
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
Galacticplumber
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2018
- Messages
- 345
And we can do that. I, at least, saw this change in direction for what it was when you did it. The slower pace, and smaller audience of this site will narrow the audience, but we can keep having the in-depth conversations we've had.
You just have to accept that not everyone will be pleased. I wasn't here for the first version that you did. I only know some general background details. I do know that it didn't end well, that its base cause started similarly to this, and that nobody wants a repeat. At least, that's the best of my understanding from looking briefly at the aftermath. If you intend to continue I urge you as a friend to make peace with that fact.
l---erddad---l
Wait, google can see this?
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2017
- Messages
- 870
I think that a lot of people like staying Watched on fics that they don't like so they can hate on it. I think that some stories are built to be dynamic, with different challenges as time goes on, and I think that those stories are the hardest to get right, and even when done right they will be attacked by those who want the same thing the entire way through. As an example, I liked in RWBY when they used the first few seasons as the introduction to the world and allowing introducing characters as children that then are forced to grow up, and then the seasons after that are almost a sequel show, following their adventures after they're forced to grow up. There were problems, definitely, but people joined in for RWBY Learning To Be Huntsmen and got upset when it changed dynamics. I think that you do something similar, changing the pacing of the story as necessary to fulfill the needs of the plot. People complain when things change, and it's difficult to separate out reasonable criticism with "this wasn't what I signed up for, and thus is bad", but that's one of the problems with stories like this, where audience feedback is so constant. It's not a book, where you might make an angry tweet and then continue: the break between updates allows upsetness to grow, and that's never good.
Whatever you choose, the quiet minority of this fic is behind you 100%.
Whatever you choose, the quiet minority of this fic is behind you 100%.
Coltsguy
Colts fan. Anime fan. Breast and back fan.
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2018
- Messages
- 804
I still like this fic and am going to continue to read it. Just as you say you've committed yourself to write this I will say that I will meet that commitment and read it until you say it's complete. That isn't telling you to force it down your own throat to make it happen. Just look at where you think the story should flow to and let it come naturally. I waited seven months for this chapter. I'm still waiting for Sleeping with the Girls by AdmiralTigerclaw to update despite all signs pointing to that futility. I can wait for if I feel like it's worth my time and your story is just that.
Miestwin
Monster on the outside, bishoujo on the inside
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2018
- Messages
- 138
I see you going with the harem route. I don't like it, but I can push through this.
The other things I really don't like is Daisuke trying to push the second most corrupted government method (after communism) in the world, onto elemental nations. Democracy.
I love democracy sooooo much, I created this awesome "democracy is the best: starter-pack".
The other things I really don't like is Daisuke trying to push the second most corrupted government method (after communism) in the world, onto elemental nations. Democracy.
I love democracy sooooo much, I created this awesome "democracy is the best: starter-pack".
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
But I need people to like me!
...oh, that sounds so petty. Blegh.
You're right, of course. Have a cookie.
This is very true.
Have a cookie, thank you.
Thank you too.
I think the end of act 2 is going to be somewhat of a downer. But then Act 3 will...have a positive ending.
Yeah. Hopefully I can at least make it tolerable.
I know this is a tall order given the subject matter of the fic at hand, but can we try to leave real-world politics out of the discussion? I only ask because the forum itself has rules against political discussion and I feel like I'm on thin ice as is.
Miestwin
Monster on the outside, bishoujo on the inside
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2018
- Messages
- 138
Sure. I just wanted to say why I love democracy.
Anyway, I'm glad you're back.
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
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- 659
Kind of glad that I'm back, to be honest.
Warer
Shadowstep12 Sleep fucking is impoilte
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2016
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- 373
If you're going to be tortured it might as well be by the terrible reality of it rather than your own consciences.
Zsombi
Getting some practice in, huh?
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2019
- Messages
- 5
I like the story and will continue to read it.
Tried limiting my post but still got long.
Arc_1: the only things I did not like about the MC was, that he kept blaming anything but himself for being stuck in an awful situation. Also it seemed like you swapped the CHA is used for a few dialogue checks and Barter booster in game to INT is largely a skill point multiplier and jutsu creation check.
To me it seemed like he knew (/suspected) from the start that he died and then got reincarnated. He also recognized the world as the Naruto'verse "in time".
What I didn't get, and here lies his first great mistake (putting it very kindly), is that why did he equate seemingly being in a remembered post-apocalyptic rpg but with clearly different setting to "I am a character in a game I knew"?
When everything but a 1st-person interface didn't look like a game that he knew the mechanics of he should have realized even before setting his stats, that he may not be in a game or at least not one with the exact same mechanics.
A high INT & LCK character start could have been achieved without compromising CHA in a way that using items to boost the deficiencies would not have been as noticeable or at the very least more accepted by others.
What I would have gone with knowing what he seemingly knew from the start: put all initial 5 pts to INT then take either 2 from both STR & END or all 4 from just STR (likely the second) to pump up LCK; then since "I decided to be primarily a taijutsu specialist" I alongside the relevant perks would heavily focus on fuinjutsu to pimp out my gear not just to compensate for my lack of STR &/ END but boost them further as the situation requires.. eg. a seal based power-fist with variable output & special effects. The "no training helps" card could have still been used and booster items would have been easier accepted .. especially if others could have also used them to same effects.
So, despite the knowledge and the intelligence he messed up big time then kept blaming everything from the system to the truck driver. Except the prime culprit, himself and his thoughtless brash decision. That got annoying after two chapters.
For his level 30 goal taking too long, again he kept alternating the blame between the system and people holding him back from going on a killing-spree for EXP. All the while bemoaning that he doesn't want his teammates in danger.
Despite knowing that jutsu creation and (re-)invention also gives EXP anywhere from 50+ to 1k+ and is a lot safer on everyone he didn't do that for EXP farming until his relation with the people he liked went over the edge.
These qualities and decisions were really frustrating to read through. I honestly believe that a maxed out INT stat should have at least restored his pre-death thinking process level thingy even in a preteen child's body .. should have granted at least Naruto'verse child prodigy level intelligence and reasoning capabilities... which would have allowed him to not duck up his "character" on a "looks like it from my lackluster perspective even though the setting's clearly different".
Arc_2 (thus far): I like others characters' reactions to stuff the MC does, did or is planning to do.
I don't understand the deal with Jashin unnecessarily mucking up stuff, the MC has enough issues , not to mention even the canon setting is messed up from the start. If it is because the MC is skirting or broke the "no arbitrarily-defined-too-much direct inteference rule" then the unkillable-kaiju attack seemed enough. Though, it seemed out of place, completely unnecessary to the story.
The harem: if he didn't want it he should have just said no without deliberating and discussing justifications. Because given the setting, what things are likely accepted and the fact that he (even admitted) had fantasies about it.. starting to discuss justifications will inevitably turn a hard no into a might, maybe, okay-ish then definite yes before you know it.
About spreading Ninshu and Jutsu: 1st, Hagoromo tried it (practically the same way), look where it got the world.
There is the prime villain, without whom it he might have succeeded, Zetsu (Black). The MC can try all he wants to teach everyone if he doesn't first get rid of Zetsu it will likely be mostly for naught.
As some have already pointed out, realistically there won't be any revolution without some bloody battles among those who want to keep the status quo (hidden villages /most ninja, daimyos) and those who realize that they have been opressed, used, manipulated & tossed around as convenient (most civilians).
Personally I would make my own settlement and put in charge someone trusted to run things. I would keep on top of things in general but wouldn't interfere much into the day to day management of things. I would put into place some kind of barrier with a physical-ish anchor, like an obelisk or something.
This would prevent anyone unauthorized from entrance (even by teleportation) but would notify me of attempts, etc. Then occasionally erect a new one outside the established perimeter to expand the barrier & automated area defense network. All people would be thoroughly vetted before even being allowed entrance to my new peace and knowledge loving ever expanding nation. We would be as self sufficient as possible, though with everyone knowing some jutsu and no technology would be repressed it would be fairly easy, thus there would be no need for trading with outsiders.
As our territory would grow (by forcibly expanding the no-pass barrier) there would be less and less living space outside, also natural resources. Those who would accept to change their ways would be welcomed (after ensuring their truthfulness, if necessary by making them.. spies & saboteurs that went to so much trouble trying to gain entrance should be "property rewarded" .. with the right methods/jutsu anyone could easily be turned to one's cause permanently.. I don't like wasting resources, manpower is a resource, especially trained & experienced ones).
Barring that, I would move to another planet (found/ terraformed/ Created) far enough away, taking only those who have similar enough beliefs and the still innocent, "untainted". Would totally recreate Bloodlines and take the too-young-to-remember orphans away even from clan-orphanages.
Fuinjutsu can really do pretty much anything, likely could also do Creation techniques for material creation & conversion if necessary. Hell, can also be used to turn people immortal in a variety of ways.
The two gods wouldn't even really have much ground to complain of interference or making too many immortal since most of the "important" characters and events would be left alone. For all I care they could repeat their warring cycle into extinction, I would have my sanctuary/reserve safe.
Tried limiting my post but still got long.
Arc_1: the only things I did not like about the MC was, that he kept blaming anything but himself for being stuck in an awful situation. Also it seemed like you swapped the CHA is used for a few dialogue checks and Barter booster in game to INT is largely a skill point multiplier and jutsu creation check.
To me it seemed like he knew (/suspected) from the start that he died and then got reincarnated. He also recognized the world as the Naruto'verse "in time".
What I didn't get, and here lies his first great mistake (putting it very kindly), is that why did he equate seemingly being in a remembered post-apocalyptic rpg but with clearly different setting to "I am a character in a game I knew"?
When everything but a 1st-person interface didn't look like a game that he knew the mechanics of he should have realized even before setting his stats, that he may not be in a game or at least not one with the exact same mechanics.
A high INT & LCK character start could have been achieved without compromising CHA in a way that using items to boost the deficiencies would not have been as noticeable or at the very least more accepted by others.
What I would have gone with knowing what he seemingly knew from the start: put all initial 5 pts to INT then take either 2 from both STR & END or all 4 from just STR (likely the second) to pump up LCK; then since "I decided to be primarily a taijutsu specialist" I alongside the relevant perks would heavily focus on fuinjutsu to pimp out my gear not just to compensate for my lack of STR &/ END but boost them further as the situation requires.. eg. a seal based power-fist with variable output & special effects. The "no training helps" card could have still been used and booster items would have been easier accepted .. especially if others could have also used them to same effects.
So, despite the knowledge and the intelligence he messed up big time then kept blaming everything from the system to the truck driver. Except the prime culprit, himself and his thoughtless brash decision. That got annoying after two chapters.
For his level 30 goal taking too long, again he kept alternating the blame between the system and people holding him back from going on a killing-spree for EXP. All the while bemoaning that he doesn't want his teammates in danger.
Despite knowing that jutsu creation and (re-)invention also gives EXP anywhere from 50+ to 1k+ and is a lot safer on everyone he didn't do that for EXP farming until his relation with the people he liked went over the edge.
These qualities and decisions were really frustrating to read through. I honestly believe that a maxed out INT stat should have at least restored his pre-death thinking process level thingy even in a preteen child's body .. should have granted at least Naruto'verse child prodigy level intelligence and reasoning capabilities... which would have allowed him to not duck up his "character" on a "looks like it from my lackluster perspective even though the setting's clearly different".
Arc_2 (thus far): I like others characters' reactions to stuff the MC does, did or is planning to do.
I don't understand the deal with Jashin unnecessarily mucking up stuff, the MC has enough issues , not to mention even the canon setting is messed up from the start. If it is because the MC is skirting or broke the "no arbitrarily-defined-too-much direct inteference rule" then the unkillable-kaiju attack seemed enough. Though, it seemed out of place, completely unnecessary to the story.
The harem: if he didn't want it he should have just said no without deliberating and discussing justifications. Because given the setting, what things are likely accepted and the fact that he (even admitted) had fantasies about it.. starting to discuss justifications will inevitably turn a hard no into a might, maybe, okay-ish then definite yes before you know it.
About spreading Ninshu and Jutsu: 1st, Hagoromo tried it (practically the same way), look where it got the world.
There is the prime villain, without whom it he might have succeeded, Zetsu (Black). The MC can try all he wants to teach everyone if he doesn't first get rid of Zetsu it will likely be mostly for naught.
As some have already pointed out, realistically there won't be any revolution without some bloody battles among those who want to keep the status quo (hidden villages /most ninja, daimyos) and those who realize that they have been opressed, used, manipulated & tossed around as convenient (most civilians).
Personally I would make my own settlement and put in charge someone trusted to run things. I would keep on top of things in general but wouldn't interfere much into the day to day management of things. I would put into place some kind of barrier with a physical-ish anchor, like an obelisk or something.
This would prevent anyone unauthorized from entrance (even by teleportation) but would notify me of attempts, etc. Then occasionally erect a new one outside the established perimeter to expand the barrier & automated area defense network. All people would be thoroughly vetted before even being allowed entrance to my new peace and knowledge loving ever expanding nation. We would be as self sufficient as possible, though with everyone knowing some jutsu and no technology would be repressed it would be fairly easy, thus there would be no need for trading with outsiders.
As our territory would grow (by forcibly expanding the no-pass barrier) there would be less and less living space outside, also natural resources. Those who would accept to change their ways would be welcomed (after ensuring their truthfulness, if necessary by making them.. spies & saboteurs that went to so much trouble trying to gain entrance should be "property rewarded" .. with the right methods/jutsu anyone could easily be turned to one's cause permanently.. I don't like wasting resources, manpower is a resource, especially trained & experienced ones).
Barring that, I would move to another planet (found/ terraformed/ Created) far enough away, taking only those who have similar enough beliefs and the still innocent, "untainted". Would totally recreate Bloodlines and take the too-young-to-remember orphans away even from clan-orphanages.
Fuinjutsu can really do pretty much anything, likely could also do Creation techniques for material creation & conversion if necessary. Hell, can also be used to turn people immortal in a variety of ways.
The two gods wouldn't even really have much ground to complain of interference or making too many immortal since most of the "important" characters and events would be left alone. For all I care they could repeat their warring cycle into extinction, I would have my sanctuary/reserve safe.
Vlad
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2015
- Messages
- 985
If encouragement is what you need I cannot heap enough praise.
From start to present I liked all of the story. I like how it has evolved and managed to break past the power curve barrier a lot of stories get stuck on. You know the DBZ one, where authors don't know where to go from now when power creep made the protagonist too powerful so they bring in a even more powerful foe next arc.
Those kind of stories seem repetitive to me. Hero needs powerup to defeat BIG BAD, next BIG BAD is even more powerful, rinse and repeat.
That not many authors even try to take their stories past that formula has made me bored and that is why I admire what you are trying to do. And that is...
Have the narrative and tone change in the middle of the story instead of just have one theme (usually of protagonist/antagonist struggle) and rehash it till the author cannot anymore.
Also, good job on keeping things internally consistent so well. It is my biggest pet peeve when author bend logic and prior canon to just end up typing what is word vomit. Because at that point it destroys the sense of immersion one needs to get sucked into the narrative.
From start to present I liked all of the story. I like how it has evolved and managed to break past the power curve barrier a lot of stories get stuck on. You know the DBZ one, where authors don't know where to go from now when power creep made the protagonist too powerful so they bring in a even more powerful foe next arc.
Those kind of stories seem repetitive to me. Hero needs powerup to defeat BIG BAD, next BIG BAD is even more powerful, rinse and repeat.
That not many authors even try to take their stories past that formula has made me bored and that is why I admire what you are trying to do. And that is...
Have the narrative and tone change in the middle of the story instead of just have one theme (usually of protagonist/antagonist struggle) and rehash it till the author cannot anymore.
Also, good job on keeping things internally consistent so well. It is my biggest pet peeve when author bend logic and prior canon to just end up typing what is word vomit. Because at that point it destroys the sense of immersion one needs to get sucked into the narrative.
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
Dude...I love this super meaty post of yours. I think your complaints are fair and that your suggestions are valid - I will probably take them into account at some point.
As for starting his own village...if he gets enough girls in the harem, he could literally just take them and start his own civilization somewhere.
Anyway, I was just musing. Thank you so much, have a plate of cookies.
Thank you so much.
I...man, I've missed posting what I've written. I can't tell you how much it means that people like what I've written.
Here, have a plate of cookies too.
askldjflkajskje
Etchy Sketchy Wan Tachy
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2015
- Messages
- 386
I'm enjoying this, and glad to have you back. Someone above suggested it might help to follow around different characters for a while. It sounds like you don't think that would work since Daisuke is where the action will be at. But this might actually help if you're still telling Daisuke's story, but from other people's perspectives, or even just switching to a third person narrative. This might help you as a writer by getting the story out of his head. I know when I write in the first person I feel the need to spell out every thought and it can really bog down the writing process, but sticking to outside perspectives can preserve some mystery as to his internal world, while still showing what's important through implication. I dunno, just a thought. I'll enjoy the product either way, so long as you figure out whatever you need to make this sustainable for you.
I'm also kinda hoping Daisuke will call up Whatsisname McEvilGodFace and be like, "let's team up. It has been pointed out that I can't achieve my revolution of knowledge and consciousness without violent worldwide revolution happening, and you like world-wide violence to semi-regularly shake things up to inspire greatness. So we're actually on the same side here. Let my plan be your event of the generation, and watch how the things change as a generation raised on these new ideas takes over. If people later go back to stagnating, then you can have another massive war thing. But I think you'll be interested to see how mass communications and a widespread belief in human rights can shift how people think. It keeps things interesting, kinda like a series of continuous revolutions, keeping people active and riled up. It has other, new and interesting problems, but I think you'll like the results on the whole, and you can always change your mind and try to knock it all down on the next generation."
I'm also kinda hoping Daisuke will call up Whatsisname McEvilGodFace and be like, "let's team up. It has been pointed out that I can't achieve my revolution of knowledge and consciousness without violent worldwide revolution happening, and you like world-wide violence to semi-regularly shake things up to inspire greatness. So we're actually on the same side here. Let my plan be your event of the generation, and watch how the things change as a generation raised on these new ideas takes over. If people later go back to stagnating, then you can have another massive war thing. But I think you'll be interested to see how mass communications and a widespread belief in human rights can shift how people think. It keeps things interesting, kinda like a series of continuous revolutions, keeping people active and riled up. It has other, new and interesting problems, but I think you'll like the results on the whole, and you can always change your mind and try to knock it all down on the next generation."
Last edited:
kingslayer98
Getting out there.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2019
- Messages
- 10
have you thought about just ditching this story temporarily and writing something new? I know you have a few ongoing stories on FFN but maybe writing something different and new would help?
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
This is a great idea, thank you. Have a cookie.
Thought about it, I've taken months to write this and I'm working on Giving Up as well. I appreciate the advice, but honestly, I'm feeling a lot better about the whole thing. I got a lot of support and love from everyone and that helped immensely.
Have another cookie.
Important Notice
Fulcon
Working on a new project.
- Joined
- May 1, 2019
- Messages
- 659
Hello, everyone.
This is a difficult post for me to make. A hard update, but one I think many of you saw coming.
As I said in my previous update, I had shared some of my difficulties in writing and continuing to update SHINOBI: The RPG. I also felt as if I had to continue to work and write it because...well, the reason being that I needed closure. Still need closure and I feel like its a story that needs to be told. So it is with heavy heart that I must inform all of you that SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 2 will receive no more updates. I hope my reasoning will become clear as I tell you guys my thought process and then give you guys an announcement that will hopefully soften the edge...assuming it doesn't make it worse.
But before I get into that, let's talk about the fic itself.
What Worked.
When I first started writing SHINOBI: The RPG all those years ago, I went in with a few goals. The first being to use the game system to highlight the MC's flaws. I figured that by doing so, I'd take away from how stupidly OP most gamer fics made their protagonist. This is why there were almost no intelligence checks in the original draft of any story; I didn't want the game to tell Daisuke he was awesome. It was an announcer of how dumb Daisuke was to dump charisma at character creation, a constant reminder of how this one decision ruined his life for years. It was to make Daisuke believably obsessive on his goal of Almost Perfect, to make him so laser focused on solving his problem in this one way that he couldn't possibly fathom how it could go wrong; because he couldn't afford for it to be a terrible decision. Then, when I actually hit him with what was coming, it turned into one of the most cathartic scenes I had ever written. All that build-up finally had a pay-off worth the wait.
The second thing I did was, that by limiting the protagonist's power, I was able to keep up a slow and steady pace and keep gradually introducing threats that would continue to cause problems as he leveled up. By constantly forcing Daisuke to hit checks that he failed, he never ever truly felt overpowered. He was a minmaxer crippled by his lack of foresight, a bad RPG player slowed by his inability to truly plan ahead, a man who never grew up. This was the source of his problems. Not his dumpstat, which he constantly complained about, not the game which he always blamed, but his terrible personality.
The third thing is that I mined my own experiences as someone with Asberger's Syndrome for everything it had and then some. This is how Daisuke was so...compelling as a character. So sincere. Frankly, I turned my own suckiness as a person into a dynamic character that smacked around with every failure. I was able to turn my experiences on their head, examine them, understand why and how things happened the way they were and I was, ironically, able to grow up. When Daisuke finally accepted that he died, I was able to accept some of the crappy things that happened in my life...the ones that were really my fault and I didn't want to face it. I grew up.
What Didn't Work.
Alrighty, then. Let's start with some issues.
I didn't plan everything out correctly. I planned out the skills, I planned out his leveling curve, but I made one terrible decision that crippled the whole story; I allowed Daisuke to learn any jutsu available with enough skill points and let him get EXP for it. All of the problems that Act 2 suffers from come from the simple fact that I was trying to compensate and salvage the dumpster fire the story was turning out to be thanks to this one decision. This single thing made the foundation of the story rot, twisted the viability of my time-table (he was supposed to get Almost Perfect after Naruto's chunin exams) and caused my well of ideas to run dry.
Second was my stubbornness in regards to this one plot detail. Let's take that scene for Almost Perfect above; I did everything I could to shut down every single solution people had to offer for him to solve the charisma problem before he got the perk. I didn't want the scene where Daisuke finally realized what a terrible person he was to be compromised. Items that increased charisma? Outlawed by the Hokage. Better henge? No. Planning out how social interactions are supposed to work? Absolutely not! I wanted to write this awesome scene and as a result of my attempts to preserve it, I twisted it into a blight on act 1.
The third...I should've let the story end. Way back when I was first writing the story, we came to chapter 44; the Vault. I said I was going on a long hiatus, and then people started sending me PM's about how this was goodbye since most stories didn't come back from such a long hiatus. I panicked. I didn't want to lose my audience. Let's be honest, I knew the charisma deprived Daisuke was what was pulling people in. They were enchanted by this eldritch abomination that learned how to care for his friends and became was incapable of really showing them. So I couldn't let Daisuke's problem be solved. So I...cut my hiatus short and then tried to rush things. What I should've done is let the story end on that chapter and not come back to it in a very long time.
Fifth, let's talk about the characters. Honestly, as good an idea as Daisuke and Anko is...I could've done better about their set up. It being so sudden, wreaking of unfortunate implications, then including the harem (a topic I do want to cover) and all it's crap. Hisako's mental illness and abandonment complex compromising her integrity as a character, Ino...being the only sane woman. Katsuki, a character I've been looking forward to introducing into the fic for a while was botched by her awe of Daisuke's power level. Jashin and Shinigami are awesome additions, but them just showing up out of nowhere kind of threw things for a loop and the payoff of what they're trying to do is taking too long for me. I'm bored of writing it, so I can't imagine you're all not bored of reading.
Act 2's payoff is taking a long time, and I don't have the ideas present to actually make the wait bearable and I'm afraid it won't be worth it.
Sixth...I outgrew the story.
That's just it. The social anxiety that inspired Daisuke's characterization is gone. The chapter where he accepted what happened was when I got over it. Something deep inside me came loose and finally I let go of a lot of the crap I went through. When that happened, I'm sure you guys realize; Daisuke's characterization changed. He became different, unrecognizable, even. And you should know that it's because the part of me that was feeding his personality died. Or if you'd prefer, the oozing, open wound that my muse drank from healed. And thus, when I look back at act 1, who Daisuke was...I just see something that doesn't exist anymore. The only thing I see is my own stubbornness and pride, which is rich given that's basically his characterization. Since there's no emotional resonance beyond embarrassment, I only see the stories flaws, which I detailed above.
So I'm sorry. This story, as it stands, is dead.
However!
That doesn't mean that I don't still feel like I need to finish it. Because I do feel like I need to finish it, but frankly, I ain't doing it on this draft. The whole thing is rotten to the core and I want to reach into the past and strangle myself for failing to plan as I did.
So...
I started a rewrite.
A rewrite from Act 1 onward. I expect that, since is going to be the third rewrite, most of you will be doubting whether the story will ever actually be finished. I want too; but if I'm ever going to finish this story...it's got to be one with a better foundation. One that isn't threatening to tear my story to pieces. I've got five chapters done and I was hoping to not post anything until I finished both the acts. But I will say that, since I know what was important the first time and the second time that it'll be easier to actually get to the meat of the story and cut out the stuff that never went anywhere.
If you guys are tired of all this crap, I don't blame you in the slightest. I expect to lose some of you with this transition. But this story...is done. At least this draft is. But no matter what, if you guys want to drop everything I ever wrote right now or if you're sticking with me to the end, just know that I appreciate all that you guys have done for me. All the conversations, all the feedback, good, bad and ugly. Your readership means the world to me and I love you guys. I hope you're being safe in these trying times and that, if I can help make things easier for you guys, I will.
Until the next time.
~Fulcon
This is a difficult post for me to make. A hard update, but one I think many of you saw coming.
As I said in my previous update, I had shared some of my difficulties in writing and continuing to update SHINOBI: The RPG. I also felt as if I had to continue to work and write it because...well, the reason being that I needed closure. Still need closure and I feel like its a story that needs to be told. So it is with heavy heart that I must inform all of you that SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 2 will receive no more updates. I hope my reasoning will become clear as I tell you guys my thought process and then give you guys an announcement that will hopefully soften the edge...assuming it doesn't make it worse.
But before I get into that, let's talk about the fic itself.
What Worked.
When I first started writing SHINOBI: The RPG all those years ago, I went in with a few goals. The first being to use the game system to highlight the MC's flaws. I figured that by doing so, I'd take away from how stupidly OP most gamer fics made their protagonist. This is why there were almost no intelligence checks in the original draft of any story; I didn't want the game to tell Daisuke he was awesome. It was an announcer of how dumb Daisuke was to dump charisma at character creation, a constant reminder of how this one decision ruined his life for years. It was to make Daisuke believably obsessive on his goal of Almost Perfect, to make him so laser focused on solving his problem in this one way that he couldn't possibly fathom how it could go wrong; because he couldn't afford for it to be a terrible decision. Then, when I actually hit him with what was coming, it turned into one of the most cathartic scenes I had ever written. All that build-up finally had a pay-off worth the wait.
The second thing I did was, that by limiting the protagonist's power, I was able to keep up a slow and steady pace and keep gradually introducing threats that would continue to cause problems as he leveled up. By constantly forcing Daisuke to hit checks that he failed, he never ever truly felt overpowered. He was a minmaxer crippled by his lack of foresight, a bad RPG player slowed by his inability to truly plan ahead, a man who never grew up. This was the source of his problems. Not his dumpstat, which he constantly complained about, not the game which he always blamed, but his terrible personality.
The third thing is that I mined my own experiences as someone with Asberger's Syndrome for everything it had and then some. This is how Daisuke was so...compelling as a character. So sincere. Frankly, I turned my own suckiness as a person into a dynamic character that smacked around with every failure. I was able to turn my experiences on their head, examine them, understand why and how things happened the way they were and I was, ironically, able to grow up. When Daisuke finally accepted that he died, I was able to accept some of the crappy things that happened in my life...the ones that were really my fault and I didn't want to face it. I grew up.
What Didn't Work.
Alrighty, then. Let's start with some issues.
I didn't plan everything out correctly. I planned out the skills, I planned out his leveling curve, but I made one terrible decision that crippled the whole story; I allowed Daisuke to learn any jutsu available with enough skill points and let him get EXP for it. All of the problems that Act 2 suffers from come from the simple fact that I was trying to compensate and salvage the dumpster fire the story was turning out to be thanks to this one decision. This single thing made the foundation of the story rot, twisted the viability of my time-table (he was supposed to get Almost Perfect after Naruto's chunin exams) and caused my well of ideas to run dry.
Second was my stubbornness in regards to this one plot detail. Let's take that scene for Almost Perfect above; I did everything I could to shut down every single solution people had to offer for him to solve the charisma problem before he got the perk. I didn't want the scene where Daisuke finally realized what a terrible person he was to be compromised. Items that increased charisma? Outlawed by the Hokage. Better henge? No. Planning out how social interactions are supposed to work? Absolutely not! I wanted to write this awesome scene and as a result of my attempts to preserve it, I twisted it into a blight on act 1.
The third...I should've let the story end. Way back when I was first writing the story, we came to chapter 44; the Vault. I said I was going on a long hiatus, and then people started sending me PM's about how this was goodbye since most stories didn't come back from such a long hiatus. I panicked. I didn't want to lose my audience. Let's be honest, I knew the charisma deprived Daisuke was what was pulling people in. They were enchanted by this eldritch abomination that learned how to care for his friends and became was incapable of really showing them. So I couldn't let Daisuke's problem be solved. So I...cut my hiatus short and then tried to rush things. What I should've done is let the story end on that chapter and not come back to it in a very long time.
Fifth, let's talk about the characters. Honestly, as good an idea as Daisuke and Anko is...I could've done better about their set up. It being so sudden, wreaking of unfortunate implications, then including the harem (a topic I do want to cover) and all it's crap. Hisako's mental illness and abandonment complex compromising her integrity as a character, Ino...being the only sane woman. Katsuki, a character I've been looking forward to introducing into the fic for a while was botched by her awe of Daisuke's power level. Jashin and Shinigami are awesome additions, but them just showing up out of nowhere kind of threw things for a loop and the payoff of what they're trying to do is taking too long for me. I'm bored of writing it, so I can't imagine you're all not bored of reading.
Act 2's payoff is taking a long time, and I don't have the ideas present to actually make the wait bearable and I'm afraid it won't be worth it.
Sixth...I outgrew the story.
That's just it. The social anxiety that inspired Daisuke's characterization is gone. The chapter where he accepted what happened was when I got over it. Something deep inside me came loose and finally I let go of a lot of the crap I went through. When that happened, I'm sure you guys realize; Daisuke's characterization changed. He became different, unrecognizable, even. And you should know that it's because the part of me that was feeding his personality died. Or if you'd prefer, the oozing, open wound that my muse drank from healed. And thus, when I look back at act 1, who Daisuke was...I just see something that doesn't exist anymore. The only thing I see is my own stubbornness and pride, which is rich given that's basically his characterization. Since there's no emotional resonance beyond embarrassment, I only see the stories flaws, which I detailed above.
So I'm sorry. This story, as it stands, is dead.
However!
That doesn't mean that I don't still feel like I need to finish it. Because I do feel like I need to finish it, but frankly, I ain't doing it on this draft. The whole thing is rotten to the core and I want to reach into the past and strangle myself for failing to plan as I did.
So...
I started a rewrite.
A rewrite from Act 1 onward. I expect that, since is going to be the third rewrite, most of you will be doubting whether the story will ever actually be finished. I want too; but if I'm ever going to finish this story...it's got to be one with a better foundation. One that isn't threatening to tear my story to pieces. I've got five chapters done and I was hoping to not post anything until I finished both the acts. But I will say that, since I know what was important the first time and the second time that it'll be easier to actually get to the meat of the story and cut out the stuff that never went anywhere.
If you guys are tired of all this crap, I don't blame you in the slightest. I expect to lose some of you with this transition. But this story...is done. At least this draft is. But no matter what, if you guys want to drop everything I ever wrote right now or if you're sticking with me to the end, just know that I appreciate all that you guys have done for me. All the conversations, all the feedback, good, bad and ugly. Your readership means the world to me and I love you guys. I hope you're being safe in these trying times and that, if I can help make things easier for you guys, I will.
Until the next time.
~Fulcon
Last edited:
Connection_Error
Supreme Procrastinator
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2018
- Messages
- 127
Thanks for at least trying. I've been watching since you started and could definitely tell that your were struggling with the story. Personally as long as you keep the penguins I will be happy. I wish you luck on the rewrite, in fact I look forward to it and am going to read it now.
zedred
Know what you're doing yet?
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2018
- Messages
- 205
* Hugs* there's nothing you have to apologise for, many stories, be they fanfiction, webnovels or others, have ended not because the "inspiration" runned out but because they were written, knowingly or not, not just for entertainment but also because they are a way for the author to heal and help themselves.
Just remember not to hurt yourself while rewriting the story.
Just remember not to hurt yourself while rewriting the story.
Zaynal
Gotta get dat power fantasy~
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2018
- Messages
- 388
You were honest with us about your decision. Better than other writers who just drop their stories never to be heard from again. I appreciate your honesty. I hope you find success in your new attempt, and I hope to read it. I won't say good luck, but I will say I have faith that you'll find what you're looking for.
Reader_as_a_Hobby
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2017
- Messages
- 1,728
that's great to hear! Really happy for you and I hope your general quality of life and self esteem has risen greatly, and I'm happy you got such a cathartic breakthrough from all this
Galacticplumber
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2018
- Messages
- 345
Time for one final post to cap my experience with this draft? Time for one final post to cap my experience with this draft.
First off, I'm totally following on to the new thing after finishing this. I'm invested.... in a lot of ways. You probably knew that. At least I hope you did. We've had a lot of fun in each other's heads, and I'm not even angry about you throwing the great puzzle/mosaic of prediction we've talked about off the table with a thunderous crash of lightning and fire. The important part of that wasn't the end product. It was the building, the sharing, the communal excitement, and connection. And now I'll have a new puzzle to get working on. This is actually happy news in light of that. We're not.... Stuck... anymore.
And want to make one last point that I feel can only help you emotionally. The last rewrite DID have value. Quite a lot of it in fact. There's the communal joys, the puzzle, the social interactions, the connection, and so on. There's one thing even greater than all those, and you've said it yourself. You healed. Something or somethings happened in your past. Something(s) that hurt bad enough to use that word anyway, and you WORKED THROUGH IT/THEM! Whether just writing it down and looking at it, contextualizing it, or talking about was the thing that did it this Daisuke helped you. Give him some credit.
And I'm glad you finally found your answer to the question of who this is really for. I'll still follow along to liven things up a little.
First off, I'm totally following on to the new thing after finishing this. I'm invested.... in a lot of ways. You probably knew that. At least I hope you did. We've had a lot of fun in each other's heads, and I'm not even angry about you throwing the great puzzle/mosaic of prediction we've talked about off the table with a thunderous crash of lightning and fire. The important part of that wasn't the end product. It was the building, the sharing, the communal excitement, and connection. And now I'll have a new puzzle to get working on. This is actually happy news in light of that. We're not.... Stuck... anymore.
And want to make one last point that I feel can only help you emotionally. The last rewrite DID have value. Quite a lot of it in fact. There's the communal joys, the puzzle, the social interactions, the connection, and so on. There's one thing even greater than all those, and you've said it yourself. You healed. Something or somethings happened in your past. Something(s) that hurt bad enough to use that word anyway, and you WORKED THROUGH IT/THEM! Whether just writing it down and looking at it, contextualizing it, or talking about was the thing that did it this Daisuke helped you. Give him some credit.
And I'm glad you finally found your answer to the question of who this is really for. I'll still follow along to liven things up a little.
AGunThatShootsStories
Concerningly (Un)Creative Calibers
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2016
- Messages
- 289
The muse is dead! Long live the muse!
All jokes aside, it's interesting to hear the writer's perspective when their work goes wonky and they actually start picking apart why and examining it through their unique experience as it's creator. Still though, it would be nice to know where all that business with the Kaiju and all the other plot threads were going, if they had been planned out. Who was the soul the Shinigami handed over and so on. Unless of course you're planning to put them into your new story somehow, in which case; "All right then, keep your secrets."
All jokes aside, it's interesting to hear the writer's perspective when their work goes wonky and they actually start picking apart why and examining it through their unique experience as it's creator. Still though, it would be nice to know where all that business with the Kaiju and all the other plot threads were going, if they had been planned out. Who was the soul the Shinigami handed over and so on. Unless of course you're planning to put them into your new story somehow, in which case; "All right then, keep your secrets."
RichardWhereat
Aia airëa Fëanáro.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2016
- Messages
- 2,955
Sad to see this one go, but I'm happy for the reasons it's gone. I look forward to the next one.
High Lord Rokland
Not too sore, are you?
- Joined
- May 9, 2019
- Messages
- 331
I am hooked, I will be with you on the rewrite.