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Walk on the Moon (Naruto SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by SixPerfections, Apr 6, 2018.

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  1. azqs

    azqs Getting some practice in, huh?

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    I think they're more creeped out by how sincere the clearly not sincere smile looks, rather than it being a scary smile regardless of context.
     
    Raza Mobizo and IvanDead like this.
  2. steamrick

    steamrick Wisdom is in pursuit, but I'm faster!

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    Agreed - I'd guess that Virulent significantly exaggerated the time they'd need for the mission and that Rei gave them the impression that she knows and disapproves but has decided not to call them out on it.
     
    IvanDead and Raza Mobizo like this.
  3. MissingMind

    MissingMind Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Glad to see this continued! I always thought this had a better look at how an actual reincarnate would turn out.... What type of book are you writing? Any more info on it?
     
  4. disagreement

    disagreement Know what you're doing yet?

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    Its a live! It a good time to live right now, cant help but want more. Is Rei leaving the leaf after graduation?
     
  5. Cherico

    Cherico Experienced.

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    when I try to explain to people what a good fanfiction writer looks like six is on my top ten list.
     
  6. Breadnaught

    Breadnaught I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    They could probably cut that down a bit if they realised they don't need to travel back.

    • Travel to location
    • Steal thing
    • Unsummon Self
    • Send word to Rei via other Rats
    • Rei Summons you

    It saves travel time and is basically the perfect exfiltration method. You're instantly on home territory with a single puff of smoke.
     
    Zerul X, RichardWhereat and IvanDead like this.
  7. Izicata

    Izicata AE ALTADOON GHARTOK PADHOME

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    Rei is one of my favourite characters in fiction. She's so strongly realized; she has such a desperate hunger to her that comes through so clearly to the reader. I am extremely happy this fic is updating again, and I hope you take it to completion.
     
  8. Meneldur

    Meneldur Yield All

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    Great to see this again, and happy to have you back! I actually question the idea of sending Rei on deep recon missions, given her fragile (read: non-existent) loyalty to Konoha and her delicate (read: prone to implode) mental state - I'd be worried she'd either defect or reveal herself. I think Gai is probably the best option for a Jounin-sensei for her, someone who is very loyal to the village and embodies all the best traits it espouses, but deep recon? Sounds risky. Though to be fair, I assume they'd only be sent on deep recon missions after they become Chuunin, so maybe it's not so out there?

    That bit of introspection on Rei's part in the beginning was very worrying. She's starting to lose it again. The fact that she now wants power for power's sake is perhaps to be expected, but very worrying in the long run. I warned before of her obsession with power and her equation of power and freedom, and I think this is where we can fully start seeing it. The fact that at the end of the chapter what she wants is just to burn stuff does nothing to reassure me. I only hope her few connections (Ino, Hinata, Neji) manage to keep her connected to things other than power.

    I really like Dagger's characterization so far, it's unique and new. My interpretation on why Virulent and Dagger were backing away from Rei was because she had basically started acting like a Stepford wife, when they know she wants to kill Virulent. On the other hand, we know that acting in a certain way can make it reality and rewire your brain in that direction, so maybe this is what Rei needs to be able to truly make nice with Virulent?
     
  9. B_mod

    B_mod Awoken from mine Slumber

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    Yay! My favorite fanfiction writer is back! Glad you didn't abandon this story, and the fact that its fully planned out already gives me hope that it would be finished someday.

    Really curious to read your original book - while I generally prefer fanfiction over original fiction theese days, I'm absolutely going to give it a try. Plus, fanfiction doesn't pay, so it's understandable for you to try and actually get something out of your talent.

    About the chapter... The direction you decided to develop Rei in continues to be a breath of fresh air - it's rare to see someone so power hungry as a protagonist without them being a massive asshole/edgy wish fulfillment character.

    Rats being creeped out by her being nice was a really funny moment too.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019
    Zerul X, IvanDead and Armok like this.
  10. wigg55

    wigg55 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Super awesome to see this updating. One of my favorite web novels around.
     
  11. ChaoticSky

    ChaoticSky Know what you're doing yet?

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    Holy shit its alive!

    Please write more of it in the (near) future!
     
  12. BurnNote

    BurnNote Professional Whistler

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    Nice to see this again, and I would be interested in seeing your other work.
     
  13. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat The Dawn Will Cum

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    For Neji, wrap around sunglasses.
    For Lee, physical disguise.

    Also, in recon, it's expected they are not found. That team is perfect for this. I hope Rei teaches Lee rat stealth. Being a taijutsu master and a stealth master would be an horrifically lethal combination. So her picking up Gais taijutsu and weight training would be useful as heckfire for her too.
     
    IvanDead likes this.
  14. FearIt

    FearIt Getting sticky.

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    This chapter looks like a rewrite of chapter 36 what's up with that?
     
    ItsComplicated likes this.
  15. varoksa

    varoksa Getting out there.

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    I just noticed that, i guess the timeline for the meeting between them got changed? Some parts are def different.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2019
  16. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Making the rounds.

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    Just throwing this Idea out their Rei Yamanaka The Plague maiden.
    She has rats what are rats infamous for in human history the black death plague (well it was gerbils spread the plague but still). So if Rei is going the villain route i can see that happening she is form the our world right. Plus i dont think i have ever read a Naruto fic where plague were used
     
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