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Walk on the Moon (Naruto SI)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by SixPerfections, Apr 6, 2018.

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  1. Helixical

    Helixical Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm honestly excited to see how you write Gai/Lee and Rei interacting. Are they going to get along? Are there going to be personality clashes? Woo!
     
  2. Plotvitalnpc

    Plotvitalnpc Personification Personified

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    The ultimate peppy optimist with absolutely loyalty to those he cherishes and the cynic whose self-loyalty in the face of a system that disgusts them outweighs all of their feelings for others?

    Yeah, sounds like a recipe for personality clash even if Gai never finds out.
     
    Zeus, Raza Mobizo, acerak and 11 others like this.
  3. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Making the rounds.

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    A great chapter.
    The Kunoichi class section is my favorite for this chapter. While that concept of Kunoichi class is nothing new, this is the first story that activity talks about rape and the teachers response was pathetic at best.
    When i read about the phoenix immolation jutsu my mind immediately pictured marco in one piece. Though i would understand why Rei would never use that in real fight as none of her techniques are very flashy.
    lastly Am i the only one who is missing Hinata? it been a while since we last saw her and i am interested in how is Rei molding her
     
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  4. Cherico

    Cherico Well worn.

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    Today...today has been a complete shit show for me, just one thing after another that went wrong.

    Then I saw this, this chapter is the single best thing that happened to me today, thank you.
     
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  5. Abhorsen

    Abhorsen Getting out there.

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    So happy this updated, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.
     
  6. Onmur

    Onmur Getting some practice in, huh?

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    Rei should be happy. She needs extreme phyical conditioning in order to make Sage Mode work.

    So...

    How crazy is Neji gonna think her when she demands more training. Only for Lee to take it as a challenge, of course. :p
     
  7. SixPerfections

    SixPerfections Know what you're doing yet?

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    Do you really have to ask? Rei will be wearing a green body suit and shouting about 'Youth!' by the end of the week. Obviously :p

    Yeah, the kunoichi "realities" are uncomfortable but in my quest to explore some of the ramifications of this ninja system it seemed like something I couldn't just ignore, especially because our MC is female. It would definitely be a reality and concern for female ninja. That said, I don't really plan to dwell on that topic too much. It will be in the background if it becomes relevant, but I have no particular interest to keep beating that horse.

    As for techniques, well, fire is flashy by necessity really. Wind and maybe Earth would be the good "stealth" elements, if you wanted to pick one. Let's just say that creatively combining stealth and fire is going to be one of Rei's favorite strategies.

    As for Hinata, after Team 99 does what it needs to do with Gai we'll have a shift of focus, sort of like a mini-Act change. Hinata will be reintroduced then. She's definitely an important supporting character.
     
  8. roseknight

    roseknight Getting out there.

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    Seeing ino react to rei doing this ( even as a joke) would be precious.
     
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  9. Helixical

    Helixical Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm vaguely aware of mirages being a thing that happens because the desert is hot or some shit, so that's a possible direction to go.
     
  10. Valint

    Valint I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    It's been a long journey, but both we and Rei have made it to graduation. ;)

    Minor peeve: This isn't a thing. It's fanon based on an early mistranslation that stuck.

    (Sakura wasn't the top girl in her year; she was middle of the pack. This makes sense, because the stated reason to have the rookie of the year and dead last on the same team was balance, so logically, the third person would be an average person from the class.)

    I mean, it's certainly fine if that's something you want to specifically add, but the actual version seems like it would make more sense: If her and Neji would normally be on the same team anyway, her calling in favors just to make sure someone doesn't screw with her seems a bit paranoid, as opposed to the actual canon-based situation, where her and Neji would normally never be on the same team unless someone pulled some major strings.
     
  11. Woooinion

    Woooinion Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well...

    Last time they had a Rei, they set him up with someone as stilted and insanely intelligent as him.
    From what most of Konoha's leaders know, that ended in Itachi snapping and murdering his entire clan.

    So-
    Why not try sticking the obviously off genius with someone guaranteed to make her snap on day one instead?

    To be a bit more serious, Guy has his own brand of charisma, and if you want to break the ice over someone's heart, he makes for quite a hammer.
    It would be worth a shot.

    From my perspective as a reader...
    I think I've been looking forward to this for years.
     
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  12. Commonwealth1991

    Commonwealth1991 Creature of Culture

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    Huh, the moment I finished my 5th new game plus run on Sekiro this pops up in my notifications. Makes me wonder if SixPerfections is an actual ninja or is the PS4 trophy achievement system somehow linked to questionable questing?

    At any rate it took Rei twelve years (over 350k words) but she finally took the first real step in achieving her ambitions. Now the question is where is it all going to go from here? Personally I'm more interested in what Rei's future relationship with her former teacher Nao is going to shape up to be than all the drama surrounding Gai.

    I've reread several posts concerning her identity being Orochimaru or some other equally depraved ninja searching for immortality. Though that seems rather implausible and a bit of stretch that one of the major antagonists of naruto is playing house with Rei. It seems more likely that she is an infiltrator of some sort with my money going on the village hidden in the sand or some other affiliated organization. Primarily due to the fact that Nao's frozen age coupled with her lack of emotes fits in really well with Sands living puppet techniques. Makes me wonder whether the confrontation between them will end with violence or both of them striking up some sort of deal.

    Either way this update really brightend up my day, here's to hoping you update more and best of luck with your book.
     
  13. siddharth1998m

    siddharth1998m Making the rounds.

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    Nao sensei has been a mystery for a while now. I thought she was orochimaru at first as well. thought i think she is sort of his daughter and was created by him when he was still in the village and working with danzo we know he did experimentation on children(Yamato) during that time. he might have created tried to create a perfect body from scratch and she is the result
     
  14. Zerul X

    Zerul X Getting sticky.

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    I know it's a large part of the fannon, but I'm not sure how realistic some of those "realities" really are. In particular, I feel like "taking liberties" with enemy kunoichi is the type of problem that would sort itself out relatively quickly as a fair number of them are going to be very good at making your life some kind of unpleasant and short and "taking liberties" inherently involves getting very close to them in a very unguarded fashion and then giving them all the incentive in the world. It's entirely possible the average male ninja would be able to get away with it with the majority of kunoichi, but the odds of running into one that either immediately ends the rapist, even at the cost of their own life, or makes it their mission to hunt them down later are sufficiently high as to not be worth the risk. There's also the issue of the victims friends deciding to do the same.

    That seems unlikely to me. If she was an infiltrator, I'd expect her to take more effort to change up her appearance and stay unnoticed. There are a few other, odd, sources of immortality knocking around the ninja world and it seems like she might have fallen under one of them.

    Since I like long-shot bets, I'll put my money on her being a konoha citizen who's become immortal due to some divine curse, like Hidan and Jashin. This would explain both her lack of aging and the village's unwillingness to trust her fully.

    My other long-shot bet would be that she's like Rei and isn't from the ninja world, though her stay took a very different course.
     
  15. Commonwealth1991

    Commonwealth1991 Creature of Culture

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    I dont think you would keep someone you don't fully trust in a position around your kids, especially one next to a prominent clan heir and supposed genius. Based on mustache Chunins reaction it seems Nao's subterfuge has gone relatively undetected for a while. I admit that it's possible that Nao was once a citizen or shinobi of Konoha, but it's also possible that the real Nao was buried 6 feet under 6 years ago with this one bieng an imposter assuming her role.

    Her possible occupation as a Sand infiltrator just seems more feasible than bieng a member of a relatively unknown barbaristic cult based in the distant land of springs or some leftovers of Orochimarus research into immortality which have miraculously avoided Danzo's attention.
     
    ArKFallen, Sceptic and ItsComplicated like this.
  16. Grigori

    Grigori Not too sore, are you?

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    Finally got to graduation, I'm excited. I'd forgotten about the mystery surrounding Nao sensei so interested to see it brought up. Looking forward to that curiosity being followed up on. Likewise the rat jutsu scavenging. Proud of Tenten's growth too and kinda depressed at the slow erosion of the individual seen in Konohoa's teachings. Glad Rei's kinda inoculating her friends against it with her cynicism
     
  17. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    Malfean stealth, perhaps?
     
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  18. Ayashi

    Ayashi Well worn.

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    Rei forgets that one of the main uses of having unique secret jutsu scrolls is their value to other people. She can trade them for other stuff. From favors, to gear, to teaching, to friendship.
    She can also use them to strengthen her minions. The fire aura jutsu seems like something that would help her rats a lot whenever for example a rat gets cornered and can't flee.
    Giving Hinata some ranged options would also be a pretty big upgrade for her. though i think i remember the Hyuuga style having a ranged punch of some kind...

    Fire can be Heat. A heat wave is borderline invisible... until it hits something. At which point you get "Spontaneous" combustion. Or superheating if you set the conditions right. Which on a human target ? it's a highly effective tactic... if not pretty.
    Trees also make good targets.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2019
    Linarka, ItsComplicated and cheesyme like this.
  19. roseknight

    roseknight Getting out there.

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    You have to be extremely careful trading knowledge that you stole. One genius reinventing the wheel (moreover rocks wheel) is one thing. A genius making techniques that don't have as much relevance to her only to trade them away is a tad more suspicious. Furthermore, the more people using these stolen techniques, the greater the risk of detection. It's not a bad idea, but I think for now it would be smarter to just focus on herself.
     
  20. Ayashi

    Ayashi Well worn.

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    Or she can just say she stolen them from Rock ninjas and get +rep from it on top of everything else. I'm pretty sure even just the currently useless S rank is worth millions. It's not like Rock is anything near an ally to Konoha that we would need to be considerate for their "feelings", and moreover Rei is hardly a no-name, she basically has two of the top clans in her pocket. Four if you could the Ino–Shika–Chō clan alliance.
    Heck, there is (was?) a whole clan in Konoha who basically lived to steal every jutsu they saw...
     
    Zerul X, ItsComplicated and cheesyme like this.
  21. IvanDead

    IvanDead Not too sore, are you?

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    its
    Yeah, let's tell how you can steal justu scrolls from others to the little soldiers of the government you plan to betray, or better still, let's tell to the said government directly!

    This is not as if you are technically forbidden to study even more jutsu until you become a genin, or that you have already stolen a scroll from said government before and thus can ruin the cover of "reinventing the wheel" when you use the jutsu that you stole from the Sarutobi.

    Also, if the rats want to study the new Rei's scrolls, they can just ask. Or "borrow" some when they come to train her. And it's not as if she can't just ask them back later.
     
  22. MasMaud

    MasMaud Know what you're doing yet?

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    Is it just me, or is Rei's special talent all about pissing people off?
     
  23. Plotvitalnpc

    Plotvitalnpc Personification Personified

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    The power to piss off whoever she wants without facing any consequences is a literal description of her greatest wish.
     
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  24. Ayashi

    Ayashi Well worn.

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    You're forgetting it's not the government, but five separate and competing governments.
    And the fire jutsus are all from Rock, not from Sarutobi's library.
     
  25. Commonwealth1991

    Commonwealth1991 Creature of Culture

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    I think a more apt description would be that she's often too smart for her own good. That or she specializes in breaking teacher student bonds.
     
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  26. ChaoticSky

    ChaoticSky Not too sore, are you?

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    Glorious. This is the second update weve got recently, and i eagerly look forward to more! This is by far one of the best naruto fics and possibly the best use of summons.
     
  27. Argentorum

    Argentorum Free Cat

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    Friendship best ship. I hope when Rei finally leaves she brings Hinata with as her Shizune. Leaving her in the village is a recipe for disaster, especially if she continues to grow more loyal to Rei than to konoha.

    Except that when it comes to sex men are idiots and in roughly three generations the Ninja world has had three world wars, which means plenty of time for men to be idiots and more than enough incentive to humiliate long standing enemies besides.

    letting the world at large know that you are a squishy genin that has the ability to steal state secrets is a really good way to get ganked by some jounin or another the moment you set foot out of the village. Granted, Guy can probably take all comers but that doesn't mean attracting that much attention is a good idea.
     
  28. Jade Isentry

    Jade Isentry Unshakable

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    I think the biggest argument against the whole 'captured kunoichi often get raped' thing goes something like this:

    Chakra is a very versatile tool. Having sex is an extremely intimate act and puts the man's chakra in VERY close--probably more vulnerable--proximity to the woman's. A smart kunoichi will likely have developed jutsu that can affect a man who willingly puts himself in this position. How would it affect him? Who knows? The possibilities are scary and endless. Instant guaranteed super awful version of HIV? Sure. Genjutsu brought on via sex? Definitely. A parasite that forever after lets the kunoichi see and/or hear through his eyes and ears, making him an unwitting spy in his own village? Why not? And those are just a few of the less freaky possibilities.

    I don't think male ninja with even a little bit of wisdom would risk it, and if they would, their commanders probably wouldn't let them. Still, it is definitely something the girls would be educated about in the manner you described. They would still need to know why they should develop such anti-rape jutsu in the first place.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
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  29. Tachikoma's Aunt

    Tachikoma's Aunt Priestess of Yog-Sothoth

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    Dude, you're overthinking it. They don't need to develop dedicated anti-rape jutsus. All they need to do is get to the point they can do Henge sealessly (like Rei has) and grow ALL THE TEETH from their vaginas.;)

    EDIT: Or just straight up shape shift into a woodchipper. Or turn into an a ball of five meter long razor sharp steel blades so you also impale all his buddies who are holding you down / standing watch so he can rape you. Seriously, why does no one in canon use the henge to go all T-1000 on bitches?
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
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  30. Shaper47

    Shaper47 Not too sore, are you?

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    When Rei leaves the village I think she will make people think she has to, after all she can just kill Danzo and his root minions and then release evidence everywhere that he tried to use Kotoamatsukami on her like he did to Itachi in order to wipe out her clan. Due to her public anti genjutsu technique
    Kotoamatsukami did not work fully on her but she has to fight it every day in order to prevent herself from following Danzo's will and killing her clan thus she has left the village to keep the people within safe.
     
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